Welcome to CollarNcuffs

We are an online social networking community website created for those interested in the Femdom lifestyle, from the, just inquisitive... to the more experienced.
CollarNcuffs was started in 2006 we found that people in the alternative lifestyles did not have a place to go without fear of being deleted, or without having to pay to set up a profile similar to myspace, facebook, etc. while other sites are just portals to sell you subscriptions to their other paid sites, or to charge you once you have signed up while purporting to be free sites. We are a Free service, no fees to pay, and no advertising material. CollarNcuffs was created with You the user in mind, and run by people who are active in the Femdom community and Fetish education.

Why, are you doing this site? And why is it Free

As a few will know, I (MissBonnie) had the small chat room for like minded friends that used to meet on a site that has now gone pay. Originally most of us were low income/students/or just alone, the group was unlisted and survived by word of mouth. One day we got a new male chatter in the room he made the comment "with out this place and you guys, I would feel so alone." It struck a cord with me, I like to have the belief that everyone has a place and shouldn't feel alone, or have to pay a fee to belong. There should always be somewhere you can turn too, just to talk, or just to know there are others just like you. Maybe your just starting out on your Femdom journey or your femdom relationship or marrage and seek the support of others, even just having an interest in Femdom is enough of a reason to be here at collarNcuffs.com.

The world of Femdom is a wonderful fascinating place,
But finding your way around the terms and hype can be daunting to say the very least, then finding your own place once you are inside is not easy. Many fight with their desires for along time (even me).One of the biggest problems is recognizing, and accepting Femdom needs and desires within yourself. The face that our society wants us to present to the world does not help. (The media hype surrounding D/s lifestyle) In our society we learn that we are all equal, that we should be kind and gentle and not hurt others. But these "Life lessons" often go against what some say are the "primal",instinctely deep seated needs that we feel when we are "into" or practicing Femdom.

A simple example is a submissive man (submissive in the Femdom sense)
This man feels a deep NEED to serve and please his Dominant partner. He is happiest kneeling at his Dominant's feet, or waiting on her--serving her drinks, preparing her food, etc. He looks forward to the times when she directs her attention to him, controlling him and teaching him how she wants him to behave. This attitude just does not fit in with the images we get from TV, radio and the newspapers, and with what we hear from other people. That men should be strong and Dominate. But I can tell you it takes a strong man to submit. Most submissives I have known over the years are strong willed individuals and not the wimps the media portrays (it takes a strong man to stand tall, even when kneeling) If you are not in Femdom this may seem anything from just plain weird to disgusting and humiliating, but when you look around at the people 'into' Femdom you find many men just like that. And these are happy men. Contented men. Often in happy, satisfying relationships with their dominant partners who lead normal well adjusted lives. These men discover their submissive natures, accept them and indulge and satisfy them... but not without difficulty at the start. Most people in the Femdom lifestyle, be it they Dominants or submissives, go through a phase, as they are beginning (emerging), where they question themselves. They find themselves wondering something like, "Am I some sort of pervert for wanting (needing) this?" or, "Am I sick in the head?". How can I, a "modern, liberated" man accept that he NEEDS--and, I mean, DEEPLY needs--a woman to serve and who will tell him what to do? Equally, how can a woman, brought up to accept that they are care givers, then handle her own desires to take over, and treat her man as a slave and her property, her loving male partner her soul mate? Aren't women raised to be the weaker sex?

Why do I feel this way?
And what sort of mental leap does it take to accept that flogging and whipping your masochistic partner, or clipping clothes pegs on his nipples, is an expression of love and tenderness rather than just plain brutality? It is generally not easy to accept any of these feelings. Maybe in a movie you've seen someone chained or tied to a tree and feel a sudden stirring, or a burning hunger inside yourself where you wish that it was you. Or maybe your fantasies are inspired by images of slaves ttending to your every need. Maybe you are aroused and turned on by movies or stories of torture and you imagine yourself as the torturer ... or as the victim.

For some people that is as far as it goes--
vague ideas or hungers quickly suppressed because they "aren't right". Other people go further and start exploring these desires, often secretly, and often with feelings of guilt. Be sure, if you do have these feelings, fantasies and desires, that you are not alone. There is a whole world of other BDSM/Femdom(ers) out there who share similar feelings to yours, and who have gone through much the same as you have. Maybe one of the best ways to handle accepting these feelings and learning what to do about them, is to talk to other people who have already "been there and done that". It can be an enormous help to know that there are others, with needs and desires just like yours, whose guidance and advice can help you find your feet. There are many people in the Femdom community--Dominants, submissives, sadists, masochists, bondage enthusiasts, etc.--who are only too happy to talk to newcomers and offer advice. You can find them in our chatrooms or forums or you might like to look around the local scene this site also has access to a number of Dominants and submissives available to answer questions via email or the Community. If there is anything that you'd like to ask just email the staff.