Why, are you doing this site?
As a few will know, I had the small chat room for like minded friends that used to meet on a site that has now gone
pay. Originally most of us were low income/students/or just alone, the group was unlisted and survived by word of
mouth. One day we got a new male chatter in the room he made the comment "with out this place and you guys,
I would feel so alone." It struck a cord with me, I like to have the belief that everyone has a place and shouldn't feel alone.
There should always be somewhere you can turn too, just to talk, or just to know there are others just like you.
The world of Femdom is a wonderful fascinating place,
but finding your way around the terms and hype can be daunting to say the very least, then finding your own place
once you are inside is not easy. Many fight with their desires for along time (even me).One of the biggest problems
is recognizing, and accepting Femdom needs and desires within yourself. The face that our society wants us to present
to the world does not help. (The media hype surrounding D/s lifestyle) In our society we learn that we are all equal, that we
should be kind and gentle and not hurt others. But these "Life lessons" often go against what some say are the "primal",
instinctely deep seated needs that we feel when we are "into" Femdom.
A simple example is a submissive man (submissive in the Femdom sense).
This man feels a deep NEED to serve and please his Dominant partner. He is happiest kneeling at his Dominant's feet,
or waiting on her--serving her drinks, preparing her food, etc. He looks forward to the times when she directs her attention
to him, controlling him and teaching him how she wants him to behave. This attitude just does not fit in with the images we
get from TV, radio and the newspapers, and with what we hear from other people. That men should be strong and
Dominate. But I can tell you it takes a strong man to submit. Most submissives I have known over the years are strong
willed individuals and not the wimps the media portrays (it takes a strong man to stand tall, even when kneeling)
If you are not in Femdom this may seem anything from just plain weird to disgusting and humiliating, but when you look
around at the people 'into' Femdom you find many men just like that. And these are happy men. Contented men. Often in
happy, satisfying relationships with their dominant partners who lead normal well adjusted lives. These men discover their
submissive natures, accept them and indulge and satisfy them... but not without difficulty at the start. Most people in the
Femdom lifestyle, be it they Dominants or submissives, go through a phase, as they are beginning (emerging), where
they question themselves. They find themselves wondering something like, "Am I some sort of pervert for wanting
(needing) this?" or, "Am I sick in the head?". How can I, a "modern, liberated" man accept that he NEEDS--and, I mean,
DEEPLY needs--a woman to serve and who will tell him what to do?
Equally, how can a woman, brought up to accept that they are care givers, then handle her own desires to take over, and
treat her man as a slave and her property, her loving male partner her soul mate? Aren't women raised to be the weaker
sex?
Why do I feel this way?
And what sort of mental leap does it take to accept that flogging and whipping your masochistic partner, or clipping
clothes pegs on his nipples, is an expression of love and tenderness rather than just plain brutality?It is generally not easy
to accept any of these feelings. Maybe in a movie you've seen someone chained or tied to a tree and feel a sudden
stirring, or a burning hunger inside yourself where you wish that it was you. Or maybe your fantasies are inspired by
images of slaves attending to your every need. Maybe you are aroused and turned on by movies or stories of torture and
you imagine yourself as the torturer ... or as the victim.
For some people that is as far as it goes--
vague ideas or hungers quickly suppressed because they "aren't right". Other people go further and start exploring these
desires, often secretly, and often with feelings of guilt. Be sure, if you do have these feelings, fantasies and desires, that
you are not alone. There is a whole world of other BDSM/Femdom(ers) out there who share similar feelings to yours, and
who have gone through much the same as you have. Maybe one of the best ways to handle accepting these feelings and
learning what to do about them, is to talk to other people who have already "been there and done that". It can be an
enormous help to know that there are others, with needs and desires just like yours, whose guidance and advice can help
you find your feet. There are many people in the Femdom community--Dominants, submissives, sadists, masochists,
bondage enthusiasts, etc.--who are only too happy to talk to newcomers and offer advice. You can find them in our
chatrooms or forums or you might like to look around the local scene this site also has access to a number of Dominants
and submissives available to answer questions via email or the forum. If there is anything that you'd like to ask just email
the staff.
JUST PLEASE REMEMBER YOU ARE NOT ALONE ANYMORE YOU HAVE US HERE
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