User Tools

Site Tools


kitchen_kink

Kitchen kink & Junk room Jollies

The internet is a treasure trove of resources for learning about sex and BDSM / Femdom in all its fascinating, fetishy, and funny permutations. New blogs and podcasts pop up almost daily, bringing displays of sexual novelty that boggle even the most adventuresome minds. Recently, I stumbled upon a couple of sites that were unusual even for a veteran web-crawler like me. There, men were taught how to make masturbation toys from supplies stocked in their own pantries or junk cupboards.

The “home kitchen” style of instruction, juxtaposed against the erotic purposes for which household items were used, struck me as both bizarre and charming. I couldn’t help wishing that all sex education could be carried out in such an unabashedly friendly way, no matter how weird it seemed at first glance. Can you imagine a world where learning to make a planter out of a coconut shell and crafting a jack-off sleeve from a toilet tissue tube are equally OK? We sure don’t see that on TV! Of course, it would probably help to have a sexy co-ed cutie for your teacher, like the host of one of those V-casts. I mean, who wouldn't conclude from watching her putter about in the kitchen, wearing only an apron and a dazzling thousand-watt light bulb smile, that masturbation is super-healthy and a bucket of fun?

Light bulb moment! … The mind boggles at uses some of these easily home made 'sex toys' can have of Femdom online activities. Online, cam play, and long distance relationships can have limitations. Some of these limitation can be escalated by the inability to purchase new toys due to cost, or restrictions to sex toy purchases due to country laws (e.g India). Some of these ideas would be great to have your submissive gather. Not to mention keep him wondering for hours as what you intend to do with them LOL New online video formats make lessons in erotic arts and crafts especially easy to follow. But for those of you who are impatient to learn what kind of homespun aids you can put together on the cheap (and on the fly) here are a couple of ideas from around the internet, and some of my own inventions.

Now grab your lube and go to it! That's an order from MissBonnie ^_^




A Cup of Plenty

You’ll need:

  • 1 hard plastic cup,taller than your erect penis is long
  • 2 large sponges
  • Lube

How To:

  • Put sponges in hot water and wring them out. Place the sponges inside the plastic cup and squirt lube between them. Insert your penis between the sponges – and you’re good to go!




The Couch Potato

You’ll need:

  • 1 large plastic freezer bag
  • Scissors
  • Lube

How To:

  • Cut off the top of the plastic bag so that the plastic ridge or zip-lock doesn’t get in the way. Squeeze lube into the bag and squish the lube around to coat all the sides of the bag. Place the plastic bag between the top couch cushion and the solid bottom of the couch (with the open end facing you). Slide your penis into the bag. Lower the couch cushion back down and press down with your hand to add desired amount of pressure to the cushion. Slide back and forth in the bag. You can vary this technique by having a few books ready to place on the cushion for just the right amount of hands free pressure.




Mellon madness

You'll need:

  • One melon (honey Dew or Rock melon)
  • One mellon scoop
  • A sharp knife
  • A Microwave oven
  • Lube

Step 1:

  • Get a melon and scoop out a hole Buy yourself a rock melon or honeydew melon. Cut a round hole in one end a bit smaller than your dick. Scoop out a little of the inside but not too much, remember, you're making sex toys not digging ditches. Step 2: Heat the melon in a microwave (be careful!) and squirt in some baby oil or KY jelly.

How To:

  • A little bonus to add to the honeydew/cantaloupe procedure: On the opposite side of the melon from where your penis enters it, make a small hole with a skewer or small knife, no bigger than a pencil eraser, but reaching all the way in to the “vagina.” Wrap your hand around the melon after you insert your erection and put your finger over the hole on the outstroke. Remove your finger on the in-stroke, replace it over the hole on the outstroke. Feels like a mouth going down on your cock, then sucking on it as it draws back. A very nice substitute for a blow job!




Pocket pussy

You'll need:

  • four or five balloons
  • Hot to warm water
  • A pillow
  • String or a belt
  • Small kitchen trash bag
  • Lube

Step 1:

  • Fill the balloons with warm, not hot, water. Tie the ends so water will not squeeze out. This also works with hot water bottles.

Step 2:

  • Take a pillow; roll it up like a tube and tie a string around it or even use your belt. Push the warm water balloons into the opening of the pillow tube. Your fleshy warm vagina is almost ready. Take a small plastic kitchen trash can bag. Push it in between the balloons in the pillow. Put some lubricant of your choice inside the plastic bag that is being tightly squeezed by the balloons.

How To:

  • Get your dick ready. Put the pillow on bed. Put your dick inside this plastic vagina. You will feel the warmth, slipperiness and tightness you only dreamed of.




Condom Roll

You'll Need:

  • One toilet paper roll tube
  • One condom
  • Lube

Step 1:

  • Take one toilet paper (or paper towel) tube, one condom, and some lube. Put the condom inside the roll and stretch the opening of the condom across the opening of the tube. Fold the end of the condom over the end of the tube and hold with one hand. How To: Lube well and go at it like hell.

BONUS: Pull on the tip of the condom while you jack and it feels like a blowjob.



Sock Shocker

You'll need:

  • One sock
  • One latex glove or washing up glove
  • Lube

Step 1:

  • Take a sock and roll it up like a donut.

Step 2:

  • Put a latex surgical glove in the rolled up sock.Wrap the end of the glove over the top of the sock to hold it in place. Lube up the inside.

How To:

  • Strap-on and go at it. You can also put it between two pillows or between your mattress and your box spring, and pump away.




Shampoo Shutter

You'll Need:

  • One Shampoo Bottle
  • Two socks
  • sharp Scissors
  • Lube

Step 1:

  • Cut both ends off a shampoo bottle that is slightly larger than your cock. Put two socks into the bottle. The stocks should be one inside the other and should be thick enough to fill up the bottle. Cut the toes off the socks.

Step 2:

  • Wrap the open ends of the socks around the outside of the bottle and tape them. (Duct tape works best). Now do the same thing with a long latex glove. Keep the fingers of the gloves intact except for one that you can use for releasing pressure and providing suction, cut a hole in that one. Insert a butt plug you-know-where for extra thrills.

How To:

  • Use your favorite lube and go at it. If the bottle is too big, use more socks to take up room and provide extra padding.

Article MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com

Related Articles:

kitchen_kink.txt · Last modified: 2015/01/31 03:12 (external edit)