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limits_negotiations [2009/11/27 04:31]
admin created
limits_negotiations [2015/01/31 03:12] (current)
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 **Both Dominants and submissives can express limits** **Both Dominants and submissives can express limits**
  
-Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. They can be spoken or written, ​and discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved.+Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. They can be spoken or written ​in the form of a contract[[resources#​contracts_negotiations_rights|discussing]] them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved.
  
 **Popular variants include:** **Popular variants include:**
  
-  * **Hard Limit** - something that must not be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include “scat is a hard limit for me” or “I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit”.+  * **Hard Limit** - something that must NOT be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include “scat is a hard limit for me” or “I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit”.
    
  
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 Negotiation may not only concern a particular session but touch upon a more wide range of subjects on a BDSM philosophy in general: considerations on a lifestyle, the perspectives of the relationships,​ religious beliefs and many other issues that can be in one way or another connected to BDSM activity. Negotiation may not only concern a particular session but touch upon a more wide range of subjects on a BDSM philosophy in general: considerations on a lifestyle, the perspectives of the relationships,​ religious beliefs and many other issues that can be in one way or another connected to BDSM activity.
  
-Negotiation within the limits of BDSM practice can be performed either verbally or in written form. One of the most common ways to clarify all the issues concerning participation in BDSM activity is to make use of negotiation form.+Negotiation within the limits of BDSM practice can be performed either verbally or in [[D/s Contracts|written form]]. One of the most common ways to clarify all the issues concerning participation in BDSM activity is to make use of [[partner check list|negotiation form]].
  
 Negotiation form form is a list of needs, limits and activities within BDSM practice presented to both participants for a specification of the details of BDSM session. Negotiation form form is a list of needs, limits and activities within BDSM practice presented to both participants for a specification of the details of BDSM session.
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 **Types of negotiation** **Types of negotiation**
  
-**1.** Scene negotiation takes place before the actual participation in Femdom session, during the session and after it. It can be done in written form, where all the topics discussed will be listed for agreement or disagreement. This is made to evaluate the possible productivity of the session and compatibility of both partners. Negotiation on a pre-scene phase may include discussing such things as: Arrangement of Roles - who will take the part of the top partner or bottom partner, and participation of any other observers, the way partners address each other. Expectations and needs of both partners- [[Partner check list|likes and dislikes]] of submissive and dominant partners and the ability to fulfill each other'​s needs: Limits of the scene - boundaries that are set to define what experience is acceptable within psychological (such as humiliation,​ obedience or verbal violation) and physical limits (such as pain, marks and resistance to various influences)Types of play - practices that would be included in a scene: [[bondage]],​ role-playing,​ [[spanking]] or [[Depersonalization|sensory deprivation]];​BDSM ​Gear and attire- what materials, [[resources#​sex_toys_and_equipment_uses|adult toys]] and fetish wear ([[leather lingerie]],​[[Corsets]],​ PVC etc) will be used; Duration of the scene - at what time the game starts and ends, who will be in charge of the time:Health concerns - talking over existent health problems: allergies, chronic diseases, [[Safe sex practices|STD'​s]],​ taking any medications and other Safety measures - any safety tools to prevent situations when something goes wrong way+**1.** Scene negotiation takes place before the actual participation in Femdom session, during the session and after it. It can be done in written form, where all the topics discussed will be listed for agreement or disagreement. This is made to evaluate the possible productivity of the session and compatibility of both partners. Negotiation on a pre-scene phase may include discussing such things as: Arrangement of Roles - who will take the part of the top partner or bottom partner, and participation of any other observers, the way partners address each other. Expectations and needs of both partners- [[Partner check list|likes and dislikes]] of submissive and dominant partners and the ability to fulfill each other'​s needs: Limits of the scene - boundaries that are set to define what experience is acceptable within psychological (such as humiliation,​ obedience or verbal violation) and physical limits (such as pain, marks and resistance to various influences)Types of play - practices that would be included in a scene: [[bondage]],​ role-playing,​ [[spanking]] or [[Depersonalization|sensory deprivation]];​BDSM ​Equipment and or [[resources#​dungeon_playroom_furniture|furnishings]] ​and attire- what materials, [[resources#​sex_toys_and_equipment_uses|adult toys]] and fetish wear ([[leather lingerie]],​[[Corsets]],​ PVC etc) will be used; Duration of the scene - at what time the play starts and ends, who will be in charge of the time:Health concerns - talking over existent health problems: allergies, chronic diseases, [[Safe sex practices|STD'​s]],​ taking any medications and other Safety measures - any safety tools to prevent situations when something goes wrong way
  
 **Sexual contact** - what type of [[safe sex practices|sexual activity]] is accepted if any **Sexual contact** - what type of [[safe sex practices|sexual activity]] is accepted if any
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 **Safe words** - one or set of verbal and non-verbal signs that will be used to [[safewords|stop the play]] or slow it down. **Safe words** - one or set of verbal and non-verbal signs that will be used to [[safewords|stop the play]] or slow it down.
  
-**Negotiation that takes place after session is focused mainly on the following:​** possible drawbacks or otherwise positive moments, feelings and suggestions on the next sessions often incorrectly ​referred too as [[Aftercare]].+**Negotiation that takes place after session is focused mainly on the following:​** possible drawbacks or otherwise positive moments, feelings and suggestions on the next sessions often referred too as [[Aftercare]].
  
-**2.** Relationships negotiation is a form of negotiation that concerns consideration of building up a scene relationship or a more committed 24/7 relationships. Partners who are interested in long-term relationships sign up a kind of contract that is similar to one a couple signs when getting married. Together with the questions that concern BDSM activity, partners discuss long-term arrangements:​ type of this relationship,​ agreement on living together, financial and psychological responsibilities. When both parties agree on TPE relationships they usually agree on signing up a contract in support of their commitment to BDSM lifestyle and each other. Such contracts do not have a legal base but they allow partners to determine all the aspects of their lifestyle more clearly.+**2.** Relationships negotiation is a form of negotiation that concerns consideration of building up a scene relationship or a more committed 24/7 relationships. Partners who are interested in long-term relationships sign up a kind of contract that is similar to one a couple signs when getting married. Together with the questions that concern BDSM activity, partners discuss long-term arrangements:​ type of this relationship,​ agreement on living together, financial and psychological responsibilities. When both parties agree on TPE relationships they usually agree on signing up a [[resources#​contracts_negotiations_rights|contract]] in support of their commitment to BDSM lifestyle and each other. Such contracts do not have a legal base but they allow partners to determine all the aspects of their lifestyle more clearly.
  
 Negotiation is aimed to give a certain order to BDSM scene especially when things are quite new to both partners. Here is one of the examples of the issues that can be included in a negotiation form on a forthcoming BDSM scene. Of course, negotiation form is an individual thing and you may well variegate sections and suggest to make it more detailed. ​ Negotiation is aimed to give a certain order to BDSM scene especially when things are quite new to both partners. Here is one of the examples of the issues that can be included in a negotiation form on a forthcoming BDSM scene. Of course, negotiation form is an individual thing and you may well variegate sections and suggest to make it more detailed. ​
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-**Roles** ​+**Roles** 
 + 
   * Domme   * Domme
  
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-**The way of addressing the other** ​+**The way of addressing the other** 
 + 
   * Mistress   * Mistress
  
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   * verbal abuse   * verbal abuse
-  *  + 
-control+  *control
  
   * embarrassment   * embarrassment
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   * Bondage(cuffs,​ rope, [[Spreader Bar|spreader bars]], [[Suspension rigging|suspension devices]], [[Fixed&​ Detached Harness|harness]] etc)   * Bondage(cuffs,​ rope, [[Spreader Bar|spreader bars]], [[Suspension rigging|suspension devices]], [[Fixed&​ Detached Harness|harness]] etc)
  
-**Sensory deprivation ([[gags]], blindfolders,​ hoods, masks)**+  ​*Sensory deprivation ([[gags]], blindfolders,​ hoods, masks)
  
-Discipline devices (paddles, floggers, nipple clamps, cock rings, chastity devices)+  *Discipline devices (paddles, floggers, nipple clamps, ​[[cock rings]][[chastity devices]])
  
-Sexual preferences ​ +**Sexual preferences** 
-anal sex (including rimming, anilingus) +
-Fisting+
  
-masturbation +  * anal sex (including rimming, anilingus)
-oral sex +
-no sexual intercourse +
-kissing+
  
-Health concerns  +  * Fisting
-allergies +
-STD'​s +
-contraception +
-general health problems +
-medications taken +
-medical aids +
-safety measures+
  
-Time, date and place where the scene will be held 
-Limits ​ 
-Physical limits 
-Psychological limits 
  
-Marks  +**masturbation**
-Acceptable +
-unacceptable+
  
-Safe words  +  * oral sex
-Safe words for slowing down +
-Safe words to stop the game +
-Non-verbal signs+
  
-Experience  +  * no sexual intercourse
-For top +
-For bottom+
  
-Materials ​+  * kissing 
 + 
 + 
 +**Health concerns** 
 +  
 +  * allergies 
 + 
 +  * STD'​s 
 + 
 +  * contraception 
 + 
 +  * general health problems 
 + 
 +  * medications taken 
 + 
 +  * medical aids 
 + 
 +**safety measures** 
 + 
 +  * Time, date and place where the scene will be held 
 + 
 +  * Limits 
 +  
 +  * Physical limits 
 + 
 +  * Psychological limits 
 + 
 + 
 +**Marks**  
 + 
 +  * Acceptable 
 + 
 +  * unacceptable 
 + 
 + 
 +**Safe words**  
 + 
 +  * Safe words for slowing down 
 + 
 +  * Safe words to stop the game 
 +  
 + * Non-verbal signs 
 + 
 + 
 +**Experience**  
 + 
 +  * For top 
 + 
 +  * For bottom 
 + 
 + 
 +**Materials** 
 leather leather
 metal metal
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 rope etc rope etc
  
-Type of play:  +**Type of play:**  
-Bondage:  +**Bondage:**  
-Bondage positions(standing,​ lying, suspended, kneeling, etc) +  ​* ​Bondage positions(standing,​ lying, suspended, kneeling, etc) 
-Parts of the body restrained (anckles, hands, knees, elbows) + 
-Level of immovability+  * Parts of the body restrained (ankles, hands, knees, elbows) 
 + 
 +  * Level of immovability 
 + 
 + 
 +  * Discipline (spanking, flogging, hot wax play, pain play, cock and ball torture etc) 
 + 
 +  * Sensory deprivation (gagging, blindfolding,​ ear plugging, mummification) 
 + 
 +  * Knife play 
 + 
 +  * Blood play 
 + 
 +  * Fire play 
 + 
 +  * Hot wax play 
 + 
 +  * Role-playing etc. 
  
-Discipline (spanking, flogging, hot wax play, pain play, cock and ball torture etc) 
-Sensory deprivation (gagging, blindfolding,​ ear plugging, mummification) 
-Knife play 
-Blood play 
-Fire play 
-Hot wax play 
-Role-playing etc. 
  
 +//Article by  MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com//​
  
-article by  MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com+**Related Articles:**
  
  
  
  
limits_negotiations.txt · Last modified: 2015/01/31 03:12 (external edit)