What does it mean to have “great sex”? Ask a thousand people, and you’ll get a thousand answers. Sex is a complex mix of the physical, the mental and the spiritual, and for each man and woman, the optimal balance is different. For some, brain stimulation- romance, mystery, love, even danger-dominates the sexual encounter; for others, the greatness is all in the technique, the sensations. Sorry, but we’re not going to focus deeply on those things. Instead, we’re going to take one step back. Our perspective is that no matter how you define great sex, you won’t be able to achieve it without plenty of stamina, energy and ejaculatory control. These we can teach you. Any man can become “multi-orgasmic”. It only requires a basic understanding of male sexuality and certain techniques. Most men’s sexuality is focused on the goal of ejaculating, rather than on the actual process of lovemaking and pleasing his Mistress. Once a man becomes multi-orgasmic he will not only be able to better satisfy himself, but also more effectively satisfy his partner/Mistress.
Technically, multiple orgasms occur in succession, without complete loss of sexual arousal in between. Women are blessed with the ability to have multiple orgasms. Not many are aware that men with proper training they can actually do the same. In the case of women, multiple orgasm means resuming sexual stimulation shortly after a first orgasmic climax, usually immediately or within a few minutes, so that a second climax may be reached. If the woman does indeed experience further climaxes during the same sexual encounter, she is said to be multi-orgasmic.
Most men mistakenly believe that being able to regain their erection as soon as possible after ejaculation and reaching another climax within some arbitrary period of time qualifies as being multi-orgasmic. This is false because the true multi-orgasmic male does not lose his erection between orgasms. Multiple male orgasms include only orgasm and not ejaculation. The only exception being, when ejaculation accompanies the final orgasm in a multi-orgasmic experience. Of course, here pubococcygeal muscle is meant. With help of this muscle dogs and cats can move their tails whereas humans can use it only for sex. “You need a lot of different events to occur in the body for ejaculation to happen. “There’s muscle contraction, there’s breathing, there’s pressure you bring to bear on the penis. To a large degree, there are techniques any man can learn so that he can delay his orgasm and enjoy sex for longer periods of time.
Before continuing it would be important to better understand the technical process involved in the “Sexual Arousal Cycle”
1. Excitement Phase
2. Plateau Phase
3. Orgasm Phase (Consists of Emission & Ejaculation)
4. Resolution Phase
How are multiple orgasms possible?
The male and female sexual “response cycles” are strikingly similar. The primary difference between the two is male ejaculation. Multi-orgasmic women are able to have successive orgasms if stimulation is resumed shortly after the first orgasm because they do not ejaculate (not withstanding reports that some women are able to ejaculate (as this has never been adequately scientifically explained).
Ejaculation initiates the refractory period in males. During this time, most men are unable to achieve another erection or even receive further stimulation due to the loss of sexual tension and the penis is usually too sensitive to touch. Since women are not biologically programmed to ejaculate, they do not have this annoying feature and are able to learn about and achieve multiple orgasms much easier than men.
The first key to understanding how men can have multiple orgasms is to understand that orgasm and ejaculation are distinct events, which one can learn to distinguish and separate. Most men have always accepted orgasm and ejaculation as one in the same because they happen in such rapid succession, orgasm beginning slightly before (ejaculation) then tapering off during ejaculation.
The second key to navigating the path to multiple orgasm is gaining the ability to separate orgasm and ejaculation.
The ability to separate these events involves the pubococcygeal muscle, or pelvic floor muscle, or “PC muscle” as it’s more commonly known. You may know this muscle for its ability to stop the flow of urine in mid-stream. If stopping the flow is difficult, you have a weak PC muscle. If this is the case you will need to work on strengthening the PC muscle before you'll be able to have multiple orgasms. If you squeeze or contract the PC muscle you should feel like everything deep in your pelvis is being drawn upward.
Here are the signs that you need to know if you need to make your pubococcygeal (pc) muscle stronger.
First off we will start with breathing
Sit in a comfortable position relaxing the shoulders. Place hands on the abdomen, just below the belly button. Inhale deeply. Breathing deeply through the nose, so that the belly pushes out. Exhale fully. Exhale to a point to a point of which the belly contracts back to the spine. The pelvis and testicles may feel as if they are pulling up slightly. Repeat this exercise from 9 to 36 times.
Squeeze and pull down:
The next exercise. Masturbate until you feel you are about to cum. At this moment you should stop, have a rest for 30 seconds. After than you should continue masturbating. Other variant is this: as soon as you feel you are reaching orgasm, squeeze the head of the penis or pull down the scrotum. Thus you will learn to have so called “dry orgasms”, i.e. orgasms without ejaculation. Truly speaking “dry” orgasms are not as strong as “wet”, but they do have advantages. First of all you do not lose erection and you can continue performing intercourse for as long time as needed. Secondly, the final, “wet” will be fantastic! You'll be astonished by orgasmic sensations!
Having multiple orgasms as a male is pretty remarkable, but it will take a great deal of preparation. As mentioned earlier, one of the first steps is to discover the PC muscle. It’s essential to become intimately familiar with this muscle in order to learn to control it very precisely. Some of this control will come with experience, but most will come by strengthening it through regular exercise. Once it’s been discovered where it is (most easily while urinating), it can be exercised anywhere, without anyone knowing. “Masturbation can help you to learn what your limits are. You can determine what feels good and what feels too good, to the point of losing control,” Masturbation also helps you control ejaculation another way. If you masturbate within a few hours of when you think you’re going to have sex, you’ll take the edge off your anticipation and be able to go longer. Practicing: You can begin experimenting on your own at first (while masturbating).
Master your feelings:
One of the best ways to practice ejaculatory control is by yourself. Make yourself comfortable and then begin masturbating as you might normally. Stop just before you reach the point of no return (the point where you would ejaculate). Contract (squeeze) and hold your PC muscle for a count of ten. Allow yourself relax and take a few minutes break. Begin masturbating again, this time bringing yourself just a bit closer to the point of no return, again contracting your PC muscle. Continue masturbating while paying very special attention to your own state of arousal and emotional feelings. The key here is to learn more about your own sexual response so that down the road you'll be more in control of it.
Stopping “right” before ejaculation
Continue masturbating, except this time; keep going until you reach orgasm. Right as you orgasm you should notice several contractions that signal the beginning of ejaculation in the base of your penis and perhaps even deeper inside your pelvis. As these contractions begin or preferably just before (but still during the orgasm), stop all stimulation to the penis and squeeze the PC muscle tight. You'll probably feel yourself trying to ejaculate, but hold it back! Squeezing your PC muscle effectively shuts off your ejaculation, if you are successful, and erases the refractory period.
A small amount semen may seep out, but not with any of the force you might normally experience during an unrestrained singular orgasm. If you were able to hold off ejaculating after your orgasm, start masturbating again now. It should feel as though you are still very aroused, not like you just ejaculated. You should be able to continue for a short time until you have another orgasm. If you were unable to keep from ejaculating the first time, either your PC muscle isn't strong enough yet or you squeezed it at the wrong time. If you begin squeezing too late after the ejaculatory contractions have already begun, it is nearly impossible to shut stop the process completely. With practice you will learn the timing.
There are many possible techniques you can use to greatly increase your success in becoming multi-orgasmic. Perhaps the greatest technique you can practice is to share your experiences in becoming a multi-orgasmic man with your romantic partner. If you are eventually successful, this can be a wonderful opportunity for you to significantly increase the pleasure you both receive during lovemaking.
Most guys try to hold off as long as they can by focusing on something other than sex-usually something mundane such as baseball stats or going down the list of chores you have to do around the house. This is the wrong way to go about it. “You might think you’re avoiding ejaculating, but what you’re really doing is cheating yourself out of the pleasure of sex. Don’t distract yourself. Concentrate on the feeling of your partner’s body against your body,” At first, this may make ejaculatory control a bit iffy. “But ultimately, you’ll find it makes your control stronger. You’ll get better with practice
Be a lord of the rings:
If you and your partner are not opposed to the idea of sex toys and other equipment, consider investing eight or ten dollars in a penis ring or some times called cockrings , a constrictive device that you slide or snap over the base of the penis. Similar devices are available from medical supply houses but should only be used under the direction of your physician, according to Dr. Whitehead who I contacted from the erection clinic. The ring traps blood in the penis and helps you maintain hard erections for longer periods of time. They also have the side benefit of blocking ejaculation, he adds. Two caveats: Don’t wear it for longer than 20 to 30 minutes at a time-cutting off blood flow to the penis for too long can cause tissue damage. Also, you may find that ejaculating while wearing the ring may cause a retrograde ejaculation: Semen can’t travel via its normal route, so it backwashes into the bladder. It’s not harmful, but you might find it uncomfortable.
Undoubtedly the biggest obstacle most men will report when trying to become multi-orgasmic is failure to squeeze their PC muscle sufficiently during orgasm to ward off ejaculation. You may feel some contractions, but do not stop squeezing at this point because a few ejaculatory contractions are likely even if you are successful in eventually stopping them. If you are successful, the contractions will stop before you ejaculate and you should be able to resume stimulation without a loss of sensitivity, as would be present during the refractory period after ejaculation.
Another common problem many men may report with these techniques is failing to determine exactly where the boundaries of plateau, orgasm, and ejaculation begin and end. If you cannot determine the difference between orgasm and ejaculation, a key to becoming multi-orgasmic, you can only succeed by accident and not intentionally.
Some men may try to stimulate themselves very quickly and rigorously, and this is not the best way to become aware of your personal level of sexual awareness. Taking the stimulation slower rather than faster will allow you to discover your personal boundaries between arousal, plateau, and orgasm more easily. With these discoveries you will have a much greater chance of learning when to squeeze your PC muscle, when to stop stimulation, and when to relax your PC muscle and resume stimulation to experience another orgasm.
Pelvic pressure after arousal. Pressure in the pelvic area is a natural result of increased blood flow into the genital area. If the level of this pressure is uncomfortable, it will be helpful to breathe deeply, elevate the lower extremities and massage the perineum and testicles lightly. This will help the body assimilate the energy from the testicles to the rest of the body. It would be best also to stay in a reclined position for 5 - 10 minutes.
It is quite possible that if you have other sexual problems such as premature ejaculation, learning to become multi-orgasmic will help you tremendously during lovemaking. Not only will you be able to greatly prolong the session by suppressing ejaculation until you choose, but you will be free to release your worries and anxiety and focus more on pleasing your partner. The list of positive effects can be nearly endless!
Some men may wonder if age can have any effect on the chances of success in becoming multi-orgasmic. There's no reason why sexually mature men of all ages shouldn't see the same high rate of success, assuming they are sexually active and have a high level of personal sexual awareness. A strong pubococcygeal muscle gives more blood to the genitals making erections come more easily If you have no trouble reaching singular orgasms either by yourself or with a partner, then learning how to become multi-orgasmic may only be a matter of patience, determination, and effort. If you do have trouble having singular orgasms or opening up sexually with yourself and your partner, however, then perhaps there are other issues that you need to deal with before multiple orgasms will be a possibility for you. This guide is not prepared to address any problems with orgasms beyond the relatively simple matters discussed in this section. If you are experiencing more serious problems, please consider consulting your healthcare provider or a therapist. They should be able to provide you with the professional advice that we are not equipped to handle.
The concept of being a multi-orgasmic male is not new at all. Ancient Chinese philosophers called Taoists, have known about this and many other profound sexual concepts and practices thousands of years ago. Many of these sexual secrets remain surprisingly unknown, even now in the age of sexual awareness and liberation. Despite the fact that during the 1940s and 1950s several sex researchers in the West studied and confirmed the ability of males to experience multiple orgasms. Even at present, the amount of sexual ignorance, misdirection, and confusion is astonishing.
The bottom line is that your ability to have multiple orgasms depends on your overall sexual awareness, and the strength and control of your PC muscle among many other factors. As with all noteworthy achievements, this is not something that can necessarily be accomplished all at once. While reading this guide and having multiple orgasms in one night is certainly possible, you should understand that it could take several weeks or even months before you succeed. Your results will depend on your own personal effort and determination. The problem is remembering to do them. After all, it’s not like there’s a Kegelcisor exercise machine sitting in your living room or basement, reminding you to do your sexercises. So here’s a short list of tips to remind you of the simplicity and beauty of Kegels, which you can do anytime, anywhere. (Kegel prounced like bagel but with a K)
Kegels and bagels:
Ah, breakfast, the most important meal of the day. And no better time to start your daylong Kegel routine. Clench your PC muscles with every bite you take of breakfast. Try to hold the clench for as long as it takes you to sip and swallow a mouthful of coffee.
Kegel and Hegel:
The German philosopher claimed that reality was based in ideas, not in things. Remember that as you’re explaining your ideas at the next meeting. And take a minute to ground yourself in your own reality. Do a few quick PC clenches while your boss is mulling your ideas over. Heck, he might be doing the same thing.
Kegel and finagle:
Buying a new car, but don’t feel like paying new car prices? Or maybe you’re at the local flea market, trying to get that antique dresser for a steal. It doesn’t matter; just remember to clench while you’re trying to clinch that deal. Even if your finagling doesn’t get you the price you want, your ejaculatory muscles-and your partner-will consider it time well-spent even is the cash wasn‘t well spent *grins*.
Kegels and Eagles:
Jets, Cowboy’s Raider, swans or hawks. Yes, even when you appear to the entire world to be a couch potato, absorbed in the afternoon game, you know that you’re working to gain yardage in the great gridiron of your bedroom. Do a Kegel every time the teams come to the line of scrimmage. Hold the clench for the duration of every pass or kick. And every time someone makes a touchdown (or mark a goal for footy fans); do as many as you can in the space of a couple seconds. In the game of sex, there are players and there are punters. Be a player.
Kegels and weasels:
When you’re trying to weasel your way out of a request your Mistress has made upon you, work that Kegel, the effort will pay off, concentrating on your Kegels will also focus you on your Mistress, with the added bonus of making your task time more interesting.
Kegel and Nagel:
You’re wandering around the local art museum, trying to make sense of paintings that appear to defy all reason for existence, but your Mistress loves the art. When the gallery before your eyes doesn’t meet your high artistic standards, summon up a vision of the Birth of Venus, or a nice marble statue of an ample Italian beauty or the smooth, electric lines of a Nagel nude. Kegel your way past the modern art. If you see something that catches your eye, hold the clench for as long as you can. Think of the strokes you’ll be adding later to the great masterpiece that is your sex life. Now, that’s art. Good luck, practice practice practice!!!!!!!!
Article MissBonnie Feb 2008 © CollarNcuffs.com