New Dommes don't be surprised to know that your partner wants to hear spicy talks during an intercourse. It is a well-known fact that particular voice can arouse even more than actual stimulation. No wonder, telephone sex is so popular. The art of talking sexy can become quite difficult to begin, if you got used to keeping silence in your bedroom. Don't refuse talking sexy if you want to take your relationship at a new intimate level! It doesn't mean though that you should stick to dirty words and repeat them every time you partner asks.
How to talk sexy
Of course, such verbal stimulation can make you feel a bit embarrassed, and this may keep you from making his or your dreams come true. To start out a nasty talk you need to concentrate on what your partner wants, or rather I should say, needs to give him the power you long to take. You may think over various sex positions, sex toys, role-playing, restraining, oral pleasure and things like that to give a free play to your imagination. Another way to inspire yourself for spicy communication is to watch adult movies together with your partner. Watch him closely, what words got reactions?
Find the right words
It can be quite intimidating to find those special words, which describe his genitals or actions you want him to perform or you want to do. Of course, not every man can find it comfortable to hear words like “dick“ or “cock“, and you shouldn't behave as a slut to turn him on actually. Be playful and experiment with different phrases to heighten your sexual experience. You don't need to pretend or invent something, just follow your urges and let your desires be caught up in uncontrollable flood. Don't restrict your emotions saying “You look sexy”, “Your cock is so hard”, “You make me shiver” and so on. Avoid standard long phrases to explain your feelings, telling him a whole story. Make your voice sound deeper with long inhales; this will sound more exciting to him.
Talk about sex
Try to introduce talks about sex before you get in the bedroom. Your likes and dislikes can be a good start for such communication. You shouldn't make a list of sex positions your former ex-boyfriends/subby preferred to use.
It's better to talk as if discussing your fantasies: “I would love if you …”,”the thought of …makes me hot“. Such communication is a good basis for solid enduring intimate relationships. Tell your partner on your preferences during a foreplay, like “I want it softer or harder?”,”Upper or lower?“
Spicy talking manner
Start talking nasty to yourself to get used to the feeling. The manner in which you will be talking to your partner is subject to what kind of play are you going to initiate. If you plan to be seductive and mysterious, try to whisper in his ears sweet and teasing words. If you are into playful mood, talk in a ticklish and chummy style. Let yourself be bossy, when you intend to have a hot bondage play. Just give in to your emotions and be receptive to his desires, making sure to take your own into account. Don't forget that words may sound offensive for a particular partner in certain circumstances and be highly arousing for the other one. You may try and write your fantasies down. For example, you may write him a note where you suggest him to buy some naughty sex toys. He can take time to think over and even if he isn't normally enthusiastic about such ideas, he may change his mind later.
Get the setting ready
Take him by surprise. Nothing can be more thrilling than unexpected erotic play. Just imagine you are whispering him nasty “I'm wet” in his ears being in a crowded place or ask him to touch you there…in an elevator. Expect him home earlier than usual! It's important to have right accessories at your side to create this special atmosphere. For example, you can take massaging oil, leather cuffs and other sex toys to have a good deal of dirty talks. After some more practice you will feel yourself different and know that talking sex is no more a taboo for (both of)you.
We have a thread on this topic in the forum, that created some interesting responses if you’d like some further reading on just what the members here had to say on this matter.
Article MissBonnie February 2009