Oh, poor, sweet, misbegotten vanilla sex!
What have the language-manglers done to you now?
In bygone days, you were one of the planet’s most prized spices, a delicacy to all—and now, look at you—you went and got yourself punked, and put out. How did vanilla become synonymous with boring?
Well, the milquetoast mafia might be comfortable with it, but they can kiss my vanilla beans, any sexual activity can be good.
Vanilla sex is a term used offhandedly, if not altogether thrown around haphazardly, to describe sex that some see as conventional, uninspired, or sophistic, or by those not practicing the BDSM Femdom lifestyle.
If you believe half of what you hear, see, or read on the internet, then you’re probably thinking that all relationships evolved in BDSM should be~ fucking transgendered people in leather costumes, wearing gimp masks, where it is only appropriate if she is using 12 inch strapon, balancing on 8 inch needle heels to fuck his tight virginal white ass, while he is tied spread eagle only with the best hand made and dyed hemp rope whilst swimming in a six-foot deep vat of baked beans.
Granted, there are probably some people doing that and more power to them if that's their thing. And they’re probably of the opinion that most people interested in vanilla only relationships, say, we like their sex after 10 p.m., in the dark, windows shuttered, and only in the missionary position, with no talking, no eye contact, ending in a male-only climax.
And yes, there are probably a handful of people doing just that. But exactly who is to say what conventional sex is?
If you’re a statistically headed person, you can invariably arm yourself with a thousand pie charts and VORP formulas explaining that indeed, the sexual lives of most people would be considered vanilla. Furthermore, you might be able to extrapolate that those enjoying the decidedly non-vanilla sex (note that it is never called Butterscotch Sex—why is that?)
Let’s start with vanilla in its purest form. You know, the spice. Vanilla comes from a certain genus of orchids found primarily in Mexico and Madagascar, and requires a staggering about of labor to bring it to its full flavor potency. As such, vanilla is one of the world’s most sought-after and expensive spices, placing just after saffron. It has gained purchase in baking, savory dishes, aromatherapy, and perfume. And any fussypants foodie out there can tell you that there are few spices more respected in the epicurean sense than vanilla.
Now! does the above sound like something that’s analogous to tedium and monotony? Non Femdom? I didn’t think so, either. What it comes down to is a battle of perspective.
My vanilla might be your kink; your kink might be someone else’s vanilla.
But that still doesn’t answer the lingering question: what is vanilla sex? Is it the hi-diddly-no-dildo-ho-domain of Ned Flanders off the Simpsons? Somehow, I doubt it. The point here is to not let anyone define yourself sexually or your sex life for you. That’s for you to define.
Vanilla is a flavor, a scent—an essence. You can’t bottle that up and call it sex; however, you just might call it …intimacy. Because if there’s one vanilla trait we all (or most of us, anyway) share/yearn for, it’s intimacy. You don’t need a basement dungeon full of fucking machines and racks to get that. Not even all the sex toys in the world (as lovely as they are) will bring you that kind of closeness. So maybe we are vanilla sometimes. isn't that okay—?
Article: MissBonnie (copied from Blog with permission) © CollarNcuffs.com