What is edge play edge play, and How does it fit into Femdom
BDSM unlike virtually any other lifestyle offers the potential to extend the experiences of the individual into new realms and areas that they have never had the opportunity to explore before. In the beginning everything is a challenge. From the action of merely speaking an honorific title such as Mistress/Master to learning the basic responses, positions and commands that you desire for them to utilize when with you. These basic foundations are crucial to building the type of relationship that grows, evolves and flourishes. But, at some point your submissive gets it! They conquer that phase of the learning process and your exchange together in ‘scene’ may be reaching a plateau.
You have spent considerable time in conversation with your submissive about ‘their perceived limits!’ I say it this way on purpose. In any relationship limits are guessed at. In a new sub they are to some extent completely unknown. A person cannot know what they like or dislike if they have never had any occasion to experience them. There are some absolutes – these (in general may be children and animals – scat is also Very often a firm taboo!) Beyond these absolute limits there is a huge playing field.
EDGE PLAY is the action of offering new challenges to the Edges of play you and your submissive are already familiar with.
Every physical challenge is equally mentally challenging as it is asking your submissive to reach beyond where they think they can . . . for you . . . for them! It may be as simple as progressing from one set of clamps to another . . . from spanking to the introduction of the crop. It may be as complex as sensory deprivation and trust play.
When is it time?
First it is crucial that you have a strong established trust! Second, you must have a pretty good working knowledge as to your sub’s mindset, their attitude, moods, desires. Explore things conversationally at first. Express thoughts about say (a photo you have seen and shared), a scene you saw in a movie or read about . . . see what makes your sub nervously excited. This is called ‘planting a seed’. It forewarns your sub of where you are thinking. It allows them to talk to you in advance and prepare mentally and fantasize! This is important when your relationship is fairly young. It is fragile. Trust is so very important that you cannot thrust something on them ‘in scene’ that they might consider a violation of their limits. Out of scene later such a transgression may destroy your relationship and all of your hopes and dreams . . .
To me, the peak of EDGE PLAY is within the mind itself.
It is to take the submissive further, to trust deeper, fly higher than they have ever believed possible. For each submissive the tools used to assist them are different, it is a truth that every one is different and unique. Discovering their personal triggers and using them is perhaps the greatest challenge and joy a dominant can experience!
This is a list of suggested ideas and activities for Dominant Women to use on their submissive men. I’ve written this list because I enjoyed compiling it and I hope people will continue to send comments and additions It could be used as a starting point for couples who would like some new ideas or don’t know where to start. This list is not meant as a “how too list” but just meant to spark ideas for the newly dominant woman, as I suggest she finds her own style.
Table of Contents
Here are a few fantastic ideas on how to tease, humiliate, punish, and torment your favorite male submissive. . Have fun!!
-As a basis for various games a couple rolls of the dice to see where his future lies, spin the wheel… someone mentioned using the daily lottery numbers for determining the ‘punishment of the day’…)
List of teases:
– Tease Your slave to get him to the point where he’ll “Do Anything to please You”
– Make him strip naked while You keep Your clothes on.
– Don’t let him masturbate or touch his cock without Your permission at any time while he is Your slave.
– Have him kneel before You and kiss Your feet.
– Tie his hands and have him undress you with his mouth/teeth. Old stockings make great ties if you have none.
– Have him address you as ‘Mistress’ or any name you feel good hearing, I find my name just doesn’t set the ‘scene’ as well as mistress and gives My subs a verbal enforcer as to who is in charge.
– Have him kiss Your ass…make him beg to kiss Your ass.
-Scratch him with your finger nails.
– Tie his hands behind his back. Have him kneel with knees spread naked in front of You while you read or watch TV, occasionally nudging his balls or penis with Your shoes.
– Use some strong string (kite string), tie a slip noose in the end and tighten it around the head of the penis, tug on it, pull it shake it, lead him with it, whatever pleases you.
– Show Your slave your panty crotch, make him smell it, but no touching without permission.
– Tie your slave spread eagle to the bed and tease him for hours. Make sure he has a big hard on, but once he does only touch it when he needs just a little more encouragement, don’t let him cum.
– Either order him to stay erect, or don’t give him permission to have a hard on… either way, punish him if he fails!
-Put on his favorite lingerie and tease him with Your beauty.
-Tickle him. Pinch his nipples.
-Sit on his chest and find out what he would do to be allowed to kiss your nipple. let him almost kiss it but pull away, make him beg !.
-Squat above his face, make him reach with his tongue to taste the crotch of your panties…get more promises
– Make him lick the dildo clean.
-Blindfold him and make him lick you to several orgasms. Take a break, cum back and do it all again.
– Rub his face against your pussy or sit on his face, but gag him with your panties or a gag so that he can’t lick you.
– Tie his balls off to something behind him so he has to tug on them to smell Your panties or kiss your ass…stay just out of reach.
– Masturbate in front of him. Use a dildo or a vibrator. (little hint look him fair and square in the eyes)
– Put the base of the dildo in his mouth and make him satisfy You with it. Do it so his nose presses between Your ass cheeks. He’ll be Your little brown nose and love it.
-Make him wear a cock ring (a watch strap or cat collar works well)
– Tie him down to the bed and tie his hands to his penis but do not give him permission to cum with harsh punishments for disobedience.
-Take a break, put some worn panties over his face and leave the room for a while and let him think about what else you might do.
– Put Your worn panties over his head so he can smell your odor.
List of Humiliations:
Once he’ll “Do Anything to please You” here’s some ideas that will keep Your slave attentive and in his proper place, and will hopefully be entertaining for You.
– Make him wear Your panties or lingerie, dress him up as a little girl or a French maid.
– Make him do housework naked or dressed in women’s clothes.
-Make him hand wash your panties and lingerie.
– Have him pamper you, have him:
– give you a foot/back/full body massage/rub moisturizer all over your body.
– give you a pedicure/manicure,
– paint your finger/toe nails.
– bathe you/shave your legs.
– Make him polish your shoes with his tongue.
– Make him wear a collar and lead him around with a leash, like a dog.
-have him drink out of a bowl on the floor no hands.
– cook and serve you a nice dinner. (naked is even better )
– Make him masturbate for You, make him beg for permission to cum, don’t let him, punish him if he does
– Always make him lick you clean after sex.
– Tie it off in front of the sink while he does the dishes.
– Dress him up like the slut that he is, wear a strap-on dildo and make him beg to suck it. fuck him. (don’t forget the fuck-me red lipstick! Or the sissy and sassy Barbie pink!)
– Make him wear Your panties or lingerie under his regular clothes when he goes out or goes to work so that he will think of his Mistress constantly.
– Order him to bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stay there until you give him permission. When you give the command he must cum within 5 seconds or he will be punished and/or not allowed to cum at all. (keep him that way for 30 minutes, an hour…or as long as you want)
– Make him screw himself with a dildo.
– Attach a leash to his balls or cock ring, and lead him around with that.
– Make him earn his rewards; for example:
-Allow him to kiss your ass after the dishes are done.
-1 minute of pleasure for him for 10 minutes of yours.
-5 minutes of pleasure for him after he makes you cum 5 times.
-Spank him 10 times for each minute it takes him to make You cum.
– If You think he’s earned an orgasm, make him cum on Your feet or your ass and then make him lick You clean.
– go out, order him to tie himself up, be naked or dressed up as a girl and be kneeling at the door for when You arrive.
Ride him around as your pony boy…spurs? a riding crop?
– Order him to bring himself to the edge of orgasm and stay there until You give him permission. When you give the command he must cum within 5 seconds or he will be punished and/or not allowed to cum at all. (keep him that way for 30 minutes, an hour…or as long as you want)
-you may want to curb his interest by ordering him to jerk off 5 or 6 times in a row. Use it as skin conditioner… 3 times on each foot, have him spread it around and lick them clean after each time.
-have him masturbate with a handful of uncooked rice if he is annoying.
– Lock a padlock on his balls. (Don’t loose the key! )
-Have him wear a pink bow with your name written on it tied to his cock all day (a good way to remind them who they belong too)
– Give him a golden shower. (shower works well for this if you don’t want mess)
– Make him think of a new way for You to humiliate him. Punish him if you don’t think it’s good enough. Make him post it to the net (and send it to me to add to the list)
List of Punishments:
If he’s not performing to Your satisfaction, or you just feel the need to assert Your right to punish Your slave. If you don’t like inflecting pain there are other ways to make him uncomfortable and will still work to maintain you dominance over him.
-Tie him in an uncomfortable position.
– Tie his ankles together and attach his balls to them.
– Hog tied. (wrists and ankles tied together)
– Spank or whip him. (wooden spoon, hair brush, belt, ruler, ping pong paddle, riding crop, switch, cat-o-nine tails (look in the kitchen heaps of play toys.)
– In a chair with his knees pulled up to his shoulders – good for spanking and everything is exposed and vulnerable.
– Tie up his balls and cock with a long leather thong, clothes line, or boot lace. Use a long piece, and wrap the base and balls repeatedly. Do each ball separately. Tie tight loops around his shaft from base to tip then tie the end off back between his legs and up to a belt or to his handcuffs.
– Make him wear a chastity belt or cock cage.
– Hanging from the ceiling by his wrists
-Attach clothes pins or nipple clips to his nipples, balls, cock or wherever.
– Put a butt plug in his ass. Or get out the strap-on.
– Enema.
– Put Ben-gay or icy-hot on his penis and nipples.
– Double up on his domestic chores, make them more difficult: tie his hands; make him use a toothbrush to clean the toilet, tie his ankles with a short chain and make him wear extra high heels.
– Deny him orgasms for a long period of time.
-Put a butt plug in his ass. Or get out the strap-on.
– Drip candle wax on him.
– Have him lick You clean after you pee.
– Humiliate him in public…take him shopping for panties/lingerie
Make him do exercises (jumping jacks, leg spreads, squats, aerobics…) (Ballet is always good for a laugh )
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Carefully insert your finger or fingers into his anus. (wear gloves and use lube make sure he’s relaxed) Move them gradually up wards and to the back, along the area of the rectum towards the front of his body. Your fingers should be moving in roughly the direction of his navel.
oh helps too if he’s ‘sort of’ comfortable and it’s warm, the warm makes their balls drop
You will feel the prostate gland, which is like a small, round bulb about the size of a large walnut. Gently massage it with a light waving motion along its sides, taking care not to press hard on the central area, where the sensitive nerves are located. Avoid touching the prostate gland with your fingernails.
he may experience a sensation that makes him feel like going to the bathroom although he does not have to. Try not to let it affect him, and continue with the massage. Talk to him, distract him or get him to talk to you. (just till you know what your doing.. first few times)
After a few minutes, the prostate gland may be stimulated enough for ejaculation to occur. However, does not always successfully bring about ejaculation. it takes practice and time.
what I do is just masturbate him a little to get him ready for the milk, calms them down, also gets the fluids built back up…then i do the ‘massage’
I found when I first started they didn’t always flow first go, and found a little trick to help is tell them, “right I’m going to prostrate train you, if your a good boy I might Milk you. can’t have MY balls turning blue, now can we” Then if it doesn’t work you don’t look like your an idiot and don’t know what your doing…LOL or if it does work hey presto aren’t you clever. (and don’t I have a clever subbie)
I found the guys freak out a little if they have never had it done, so by saying ‘you might milk them’ they get horny and become a more compliant and they relax and make it easier work for us, it puts them in a subbie mind space. you shouldn’t have, to have him hard, if he is it’s ok. most subbies are so turned on by the idea of milking they end up with raging hard on’s and only take a few minutes to milk.
General information and safety tips for Femdom play
C and B play stands for cock and ball play. Genitorture stands for genital torture . This is a subject that makes some men clutch their nuts and run in fear, and makes other men instantly erect and greedy for more. The male genitals are at once the most vulnerable and most sensitive part of the male body, so of course many tops enjoy playing with them.
Cockrings are rings that go around your cock, typically around the base of it, behind the balls. The penis becomes erect when the blood vessels at its base constrict (because of arousal), trapping blood in the cock and causing it to swell. Cock rings have a similar effect, prolonging erection in most men that use them. (They also constrict the urethra, which will make any orgasm more painful, or even cause ejaculate to back up into the bladder. This is not dangerous unless done repeatedly. Experiment to find out how much tightness is too much.)
Most are made of leather, with adjustable snaps, so you can tighten or loosen them to fit (as well as remove them easily). Some are made of rubber. Some are even made of metal, but metal ones can be hazardous; if you put a too-small one on your non-erect cock, your cock may become so erect that you can no longer remove it–and if it is too tight, it will prevent your cock from softening. This may involve a trip to the emergency room and the use of bolt cutters. No joke.
Some cock rings have multiple rings, for behind the balls, around the balls themselves, and around the base of the shaft. Some people like using _lots_ of cock rings, to stretch the balls out away from the body.
Safety tips:
The broadest guideline is to go slowly until you know how much you can take. If the pain from a particular activity starts to spread into other areas of the body, or if the pain lasts for a long time after the stimulation ends, you have probably gone beyond your limits. You won’t reach this point generally if you take your time. As with any SM practice, if you find yourself in pain later, or if you notice any abnormalities in your cock or balls when flaccid or erect, see a doctor.
Of course, avoid any practice that seriously wrenches or twists the genitals; there are many ligaments and blood vessels in there, damage to which may make it hard for you to get hard. But the cock and balls can handle light whipping or slapping, provided it is done with care. Of course, cock and ball bondage can be done with leather strips, ribbons, velvet cords, etc. Be as ornamental as you please; tying up an erect cock can create a luscious work of art, and teasing it can be even more artistic. Don’t expect C and B bondage to keep a cock hard indefinitely; cocks will usually get soft if not stimulated, and bondage which _will_ keep it hard may be dangerously tight. In any event, be sure.
A sensual massage is a great stress reliever; removes toxins from the body; and most important is an incredible erotic experience. Because the skin is the largest organ of the body and is covered with thousands of nerve endings, the very nature of touch stimulates all of our senses.
Creating a sensual environment is the beginning of truly great massage. Lighting, sound, smell and temperature all go into setting the mood. You do not want to be disturbed so turn off the phones and have a way to lock the door. Illuminate the room with soft lighting or candles. Exotic incense or scented candles add a nice touch. While it would be wonderful to have a commercial massage table, you can use a bed, table or floor – just make sure you have plenty of padding on any hard surface. If you are going to use a bed, position your partner cross ways at an angle and make sure you have lots of washable towels, sheets and a good mattress pad so the mattress doesn’t get stained. Assemble oils, lubricants, erotic toys (feathers, vibrator, blindfold, etc.), clean sheets, blankets and pillows. Make sure that the room is warm enough for the person lying naked (at least 78 degrees).Check your fingernails for length to make sure that they you won’t be inflicting any wounds. Last but not least is the right music. Selections should be soothing, relaxing and have the ability to repeat. You don’t want to stop the massage to change the music. Also keep glasses of drinking water handy for both you and your Domme.
Lubrication is an absolute necessity for a good massage.There are lots of different kinds of massage oils and creams.You may want to purchase a Massage Kit which has all of these items already assembled.Also try Honey Dust which is a smooth edible powder that creates a unique sensation when dusted and massaged on the body.Once again it will come down to personal preference as to the texture and fragrance you prefer. There are two considerations in using an oil based formula for massage.If you are using a condom at some point during the massage don’t use anything with an oil base – oil weakens latex.The second, oil based products can cause vaginal infections in women.Also make sure that any product you use to massage the body does not contain Nonoxynol-9 which will irritate the skin.Always warm the massage lotion before you start the application by warming it in the microwave or placing the bottle in a bowl of warm water.Also apply the lubricant to your hands first and then rub them together before applying the lubricant to your Mistress.Keep the massage lubricants in close proximity to the area where you are giving the massage and replenish often.
Let your partner take a hot bath or shower before the massage starts.This will open the pores and start to loosen up the muscles.Position your Mistress face down first with arms at the side using pillows underneath the ankles and underneath the hip area.Let a sheet or blanket drape over your partners body until you begin the massage and then remove from each area you visit.One of the basic rules of massage is don’t break contact with the skin – once you have started the massage keep connected with your partner at all times.
“The Basic Strokes”
The Glide – long smooth strokes using the entire hand that follows the curves of your Domme’s body.
The Palm – Hands are face down on your partner’s body and using the palms as the pressure points fan out across the body pushing up and then lessening the pressure and coming back to the starting point.
Push Pull – This is done on the sides of the body using both hands – as one hand pushes up the other comes back in a push-pull motion.
The Lift – This is a kneading, lifting stroke with the fingers lifting your partners skin. All Thumbs – This is direct pressure by placing the palm of the hand on your partners body and using only the thumbs pressing against your partners skin and moving in a circular motion.
Put oils/lotions in your hand first and be sure it is warm. Begin with a light rhythmic motion on your partner’s back increasing to deeper, longer strokes.Go slowly and repeat strokes.Use your body weight for pressure rather than arm strength – the massage will last longer.Move from the back to the shoulders using the basic strokes listed above, then arms and hands.Deep strokes on the arms or legs should always be done towards the heart rather than away from it.Watch your partners reactions – stop any thing that causes a grimace.Continue to move to the butt, legs and feet.Now move your partner to a face up and reposition the pillows to the back of the neck and the knee area.Begin with the scalp, face, and then move to the abdomen, chest, arms, legs and top of the feet. Once you have completed all of the body parts it is time to focus on the genitals.
If your are new at massage practice the basic strokes on yourself until you get familiar with them plus it will allow you to understand how they feel and how much pressure you should use.Also purchasing a Massage Sample Kit allows you to work with different lotions and fragrances.
The passing of any bodily fluid or material from one individual to another.
This first and most basic practice includes virtually all sexual activity, therefore, in order to engage in a normal sex life, one must use circumspect caution about what activities are acceptable and with whom.
If you have a lover and have known this person for a protracted period and both of you have reasonable assurances that neither of you have strayed to assignations with outsiders, and if you both take HIV tests regularly (twice a year), then the likelihood that that either of you will infect the other is virtually nil. But, even in this very cautious hypothetical example you still could contract type C hepatitis if your sexplay includes ingestion of feces or vomitus. (For some people it does.) Or, in a less extreme variant, a long dormant herpetic infection might appear and transfer without notice.
The question naturally arises: “What are safe sexual practices?” This is a tricky question to answer. The problem comes from the mounds of legal liability that return to haunt anyone who has the chutzpah to step forward and declare some practice to be safe. There are many lists of do’s and dont’s that are so specific that they can never address the plethora of human sexual experiences. In practice, safety becomes a matter of common sense.
While oral sex, including the swallowing of semen, has lately been considered by many self-appointed authorities to not be a vehicle for HIV, if you spend your days kneeling naked in the men’s room of a porno store taking on all comers, you would be engaging in an unsafe practice. There are people who behave this way and they risk infection from all manner of STD’s as well as other diseases which are transmitted via urine, skin and blood. This leads us to the second unsafe sexual practice:
Engaging in sexual contact with multiple partners and with unknown partners
The numbers will eventually get you. It’s a lottery and you stand a better chance of winning (losing really) if you have 365 entries a year instead of 3 or 4. You need to pick your partners carefully, and what you find out over cocktails in two hours will simply not be enough information. Offering yourself as a Bukkake target in a bath house may sound thrilling as a fantasy, but it brings real dangers along for the reality ride. Of course, you might do stuff like this for years with no adverse results. Some people buy lottery tickets every week and never win either, but odds playing is a form of gambling, and at least in Lotto, you are only out a buck. Next to masturbation, frottage (rubbing someones genitals through the clothing) is the least dangerous activity, although you could get a rash. Lying naked together and manipulating each others genitals is usually OK, but penises get drippy and vaginas get wet and it all rubs off onto you. This may not be a problem unless you have a teeny tiny cut on your skin, or a rash, which then becomes an access point to your circulatory system. Licking and sucking are a major part of sex, and for the most part, healthy saliva and a generous dose of stomach acid will act as a bar to most viruses. If you recently flossed, however, you might have made a gum bleed a little and then, there’s that superhighway again, right into your body. Everything discussed to this point simply requires your judicious screening of the candidate for your sexual fun. It would not be smart to tempt fate by giving head to a guy you just met on the day you had a wisdom tooth extracted. However, most people get to play at least to the oral stage without having to face death, if they are careful.
After this, things get a bit dicey. Deposits into the vagina and into the anal cavity are like injections into your body. These areas are rich in blood vessels and are uniquely equipped to engage in chemical transfers into the bloodstream. The penis is also a blood filled organ that easily suffers friction injuries. Ergo:
Penetrating the vagina and anus without a condom
This is a premier way to transfer any STD. Condoms are cheap, easy to use and do not impede sexual frenzy. In fact, virtually nothing impedes sexual frenzy. Latex and poly condoms protect against HIV, genital herpes, and pregnancy. Natural lambskin condoms (like Fourex Brand) are good only against conception. Their membranes will pass disease. If you are unsure, read the package! Many people engage in the practice of barebacking. It is unsafe, unless you know the history of your partner. Always use a rubber and be (relatively) certain.
Taking anything into your body, by mouth or other orifice, compromises the integrity of your person. We take it so for granted by breathing, drinking, eating all the time, that we are not focused on the idea that we may be poisoned. Poisoning isn’t only the realm of an old witch with a green potion. It can come in the form of a hot load from a hard cock, and be very desirable to you until the full effects are known. Therefore, we come to this last unsafe practice:
Openly engaging in sex without first clutching to your intellect.
Depersonalization and sensory deprivation implies an entire range of BDSM Femdom activities often referred to humiliation. Usually depersonalization means that the Domme orders submissive to perform a role which is considerably different from the submissives role in usual life.
As a rule depersonalization is fulfilled as turning a person into an object for example into a foot stool or an ash-tray. A person can as well be turned into an animal, let us say into a dog or a pony. Many beginners cannot make their mind why Dommes and sub’s use this activity. The information given below will help you to realize what can be attractive about depersonalization. Depersonalization is one aspect of the lifestyle that seems to have no middle ground: I’ve found Dommes who like it and I’ve found Dommes who hate it. My goal isn’t to persuade you one way or the other. It is only to inform and maybe seed you with, your own ideas.
But what can I as a Domme get out of de personalization?
Depersonalization gives the Domme a mean to escalate her role of the Mistress up to the pinnacle of her power and control over her slave. It makes a Domme an absolute owner of her slave by requiring much more submission than usually given Whatever role you have chosen for your submissive (no matter whether you turn him into a pet or an object) gives you an enormous pleasure of feeling your total control over your submissive. Your submissive is deprived of any feelings, of any emotions. He is not a person, he is not even a slave, and he is an object or an animal. He is nothing and he completely belongs to you. You can do with him whatever you want. Isn’t it exciting?
But I’m a submissive, will I get anything ‘good’ out of this experience, I know it will please my Domme, but there more to it?
For a submissive depersonalization means possibility to forget about his social role. A means to slipping out of the role you’ve always had in society. To understand that better we have to think about how your personality looks from the society’s point of view. You might be a young businessman, a boss, a father of two children. But being deprived of your personality you become free of your duties and responsibilities. As a submissive you are stripped of all the trappings that our modern day culture has provided as tools for protection and made to feel extremely vulnerable and helpless. Becoming a “toy” or an animal that has no input or demands is liberating. There’s no concern for “self” and all that remains in focus, is obedience.
Depersonalization makes you another creature, deprived of all your traits. It deprives you of power, of control – at least for some time. Are there Benefits for the Dominant also?
Few of us Dominants would be able (or even desire) to base our relationship entirely on depersonalization alone, since it forces us to divorce our feelings of affection and tenderness toward our submissive. But for the short time period we do, it re enforces the foundation of this lifestyle–the exchange of power.
I suspect that most dominants experience a wide range of “domme-ness”; that is, if you imagine a wide range from least to most dominant, we spend most of our time in the middle (whatever that middle is for you). At times you will be at the far end of the “most dominant” range, though, and need to have an outlet for that. For some, depersonalization can be a beneficial expression of this extreme. It can be particularly difficult for the sub to give up their status as a loving, caring person and become something less than human, no more than property or a piece of furniture. The proper equipment for the scene can be immensely beneficial in helping them become this…it sets up the right frame of mind.
Seeing your submissive wearing this equipment can also be intensely gratifying, visually speaking it symbolizes their ultimate surrender, service to you, and willingness to please you in whatever form you’ve chosen.
This sounds good, I’m a Domme…Do I need to watch out for anything?
If you choose to include depersonalization in your relationship, you should be aware that you may have to resolve emotional issues that crop up.
Guilt: I love my submissive dearly…how can I treat him so indifferently? Society has taught you what relationships are supposed to be, and this certainly isn’t it.
Remorse: Following a session, you may find yourself feeling strangely sorry for having done exactly what you both desired.
Clearly, prior negotiation is essential when it comes to depersonalization. You need to know your submissive well, just how far you can safely go; exactly how much is too much and how much is not enough. Forms of humiliation can be extremely volatile territory because you are probing deeply into the psyche.
To help you both benefit from the experience and resolve emotional conflict, take some time before the scene and afterwards to reinforce your true feelings for your submissive. Reassure them that no matter how you may behave during the scene, it doesn’t reflect your true emotions. Treating them indifferently for a couple hours a month so that you can both deepen your relationship doesn’t mean that you will suddenly begin to do so the other 99.9% of the time.
Will I have trouble as a submissive?
The greatest obstacle that most submissives have to overcome is the loss of their identity. You are no longer the cherished, protected and sometimes-pampered submissive of your Dominant. You are an animal or a thing and this causes quite an internal struggle for some submissives. It’s not easy to give up your sense of identity but when you are able to overcome that obstacle you gain a freedom from self that you’ve never experienced before.
Another mental block is fear. You are vulnerable and made to be very aware of the fact. Loss of control means risk, and unless you have complete trust in your Domme this is going to be one very scary ordeal.
Humiliation is another hurdle for some submissives. The act of becoming a pony or a sex toy is seen as degrading to society and your own social awareness is going to be dragged to the surface for you to deal with. You are no longer sheltered by concern for your comfort or modesty–shyness has no place in a pony’s life. You’ll feel as though your soul has been bared to the world.
This stripping away of the protective shell of your embarrassment and reluctance is a difficult process but the benefits are tremendous. You’ll soon see the things that hinder your submission and surrender to your Domme. The things that prevent you from giving yourself totally will be forced into view and give you the opportunity to vanquish them and find a deeper, richer relationship with the person to whom you’ve hand over the reins.
How can we introduce depersonalization?
Depersonalization might acquire various forms. The only thing can limit you is your fantasy. For some partners a word order is enough, others need use of some BDSM toys and accessories.
The most common equipment used in depersonalization is usually found in the realm of the pony boy. Its design is tailored to bring out deep-hidden emotional responses in the submissive. The first response it evokes in most submissives is humiliation. Starting with the halter and gag, the intent is to remove control from the submissive and give it to the dominant.
Do I need toys to do depersonalization?
Let us see how BDSM toys and accessories are used for depersonalization. To understand BDSM toy’s role in depersonalization games let use the two most used method of depersonalization.
Pony play implies that the Domme is a master of a pony – her submissive.
By incorporating toys in this game you emphasize roles you perform and make it easier to begin playing your roles. By wearing a riding suit the Domme does not only change her clothes – she forgets about your usual role and begin playing role of owner of your pony.
This does not only make the scene more real. This lets the submissive know he must be completely obedient to his Mistress.
The Mistress chooses what costume her Submissive should wear. He puts on his submissive the costume hence making it easier to the partner to turn from simple submissive into an object which has neither voice nor his own personality.
In this case the submissive might wear harness and a butt plug with pony tail on its end. You can choose whatever BDSM toy or accessory you want. You can whip up your pony with a crop you might have your pony blind if you wish by making it wear a mask actually you can do whatever you want, everything depends on your fantasy. Of course, you might do without any BDSM toys; however these will considerably adorn your play and will make it much more real.
We don’t have toys?
In this game the submissive is no more than an object you put under your feet. Your submissive is a simple foot stool. When playing an object the submissives head and limbs can be completely restrained. Helplessness frees mind of perception of outside events including sensory stimulus. Here again BDSM toys and accessories are going to be of good help, but can be improvised. A simple case as a hood, stockings can be used for ties and binds. Look around your home, you’ll find many things you can convert. You could also have a look in our craft section for many interesting ideas.
Handcuffs, spreader bars, hoods, masks, mittens – all these BDSM toys are going to make the submissive completely helpless. He has nothing but to enjoy his sensations. He is deprived of control, he is not responsible for what is happening and he can give his Mistress pleasure as well as to enjoy pleasure he is receiving.
These are only possible examples. Do not limit yourself, make up your own games and scenes and enjoy them! Depersonalization is one of the more advanced practices that we see in our lifestyle. It’s not for everyone. I’ve no doubt this topic has brought strong feelings at both ends of the spectrum. Keep in mind that limits, by their very nature, are things that tend to expand as our relationship with our partner grows. I recall a time not too very long ago when the idea of depersonalization wasn’t of any interest me.
Perhaps you are ready to add this to your relationship. Others of you are not ready for it yet, and still others never will be. I hope I’ve been able to at least shed some light on why some find the practice beneficial and what its attraction is.
Condoms are the only form of protection that can both help to stop the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HIV and prevent pregnancy
Getting ready, choosing the right condom
A number of different types of condom are now available. What is generally called a condom is the ‘male’ condom, a sheath or covering which fits over a man’s penis, and which is closed at one end. There is also now a female condom, or vaginal sheath, which is used by a woman and which fits inside her vagina. The rest of this page is about the male condom.
What are condoms made of?
Condoms are usually made of latex or polyurethane. If possible you should use a latex condom, as they are slightly more reliable, and in most countries they are most readily available.
Latex condoms can only be used with water based lubricants, not oil based lubricants such as Vaseline or cold cream as they break down the latex. A small number of people have an allergic reaction to latex and can use polyurethane condoms instead. Polyurethane condoms are made of a type of plastic. They are thinner than latex condoms, and so they increase sensitivity and are more agreeable in feel and appearance to some users. They are more expensive than latex condoms and slightly less flexible so more lubrication may be needed. However both oil and water based lubricants can be used with them. It’s not clear whether latex or polyurethane condoms are stronger – there are studies suggesting that either is less likely to break. With both types however, the likelihood of breakages is very small if used correctly. The lubrication on condoms also varies. Some condoms are not lubricated at all, some are lubricated with a silicone substance, and some condoms have a water-based lubricant. The lubrication on condoms aims to make the condom easier to put on and more comfortable to use. It can also help prevent condom breakage.
Spermicides and Nonoxynol 9
Condoms and lubricants sometimes contain a spermicide called Nonoxynol 9. Adding Nonoxynol 9 to condoms was thought in the past to help to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and other STDs, but it is now known to be ineffective. Some people have an allergic reaction to Nonoxynol 9 that can result in little sores, which can actually make the transmission of HIV more likely. Because of this, you should only use condoms and lubricants containing Nonoxynol 9 if you are HIV negative and know that your partner is too. However, using a condom (even if it contains Nonoxynol 9) is much safer than having unprotected sex.
What shapes are there and which should I choose? What about flavored condoms?
Condoms come in a variety of shapes. Most have a reservoir tip although some do have a plain tip. Condoms may be regular shaped (with straight sides), form fit (indented below the head of the penis), or they may be flared (wider over the head of the penis). Ribbed condoms are textured with ribs or bumps, which can increase sensation for both partners. Condoms also come in a variety of colours. It’s up to you which shape you choose. All of the differences in shape are designed to suit different personal preferences and enhance pleasure. It is important to communicate with your partner to be sure that you are using condoms that satisfy both of you. Some condoms are flavoured to make oral sex more enjoyable. They are also safe to use for penetrative sex as long as they have been tested and approved.
What about the condom size?
Condoms are made in different lengths and widths, and different manufacturers produce varying sizes. There is no standard length for condoms, though those made from natural rubber will in addition always stretch if necessary to fit the length of the man’s erect penis. The width of a condom can also vary. Some condoms have a slightly smaller width to give a “closer” fit, whereas others will be slightly larger. Condom makers have realised that different lengths and widths are needed and are increasingly broadening their range of sizes. The brand names will be different in each country, so you will need to do your own investigation of different names. There is no particular best brand of condom.
So when do you use a condom?
You need to use a new condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Never use the same condom twice. Put the condom on after the penis is erect and before any contact is made between the penis and any part of the partner’s body. If you go from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse, you should consider changing the condom.
Where can I get condoms?
There are no age limitations on buying condoms. Buying a condom no matter how old you are shows that you are taking responsibility for your actions. Family planning and sexual health clinics provide condoms free of charge. Condoms are available to buy from supermarkets, convenience stores and petrol/gas stations. Vending machines selling condoms are found in toilets at many locations. You can also order then online from different manufacturers and distributors.
How can I check a condom is safe to use?
Condoms that have been properly tested and approved carry the British Standard Kite Mark or the EEC Standard Mark (CE). In the USA, condoms should be FDA approved, and elsewhere in the world, they should be ISO approved. To find out more about condom testing see Condoms history, effectiveness and testing page on the http://www.avert.org/site. Condoms have an expiration (Exp) or manufacture (MFG) date on the box or individual package that tells you when it is safe to use the condom until. It’s important to check this when you use a condom. You should also make sure the package and the condom appear to be in good condition. Condoms can deteriorate if not stored properly as they are affected by both heat and light. So it’s best not to use a condom that has been stored in your back pocket, your wallet, or the glove compartment of your car. If a condom feels sticky or very dry you shouldn’t use it as the packaging has probably been damaged.
How do you use a condom?
Open the condom package at one corner being careful not to tear the condom with your fingernails, your teeth, or through being too rough. Make sure the package and condom appear to be in good condition, and check that if there is an expiry date that the date has not passed. Place the rolled condom over the tip of the hard penis, and if the condom does not have a reservoir top, pinch the tip of the condom enough to leave a half inch space for semen to collect. If the man is not circumcised, then pull back the foreskin before rolling on the condom. Pinch the air out of the condom tip with one hand and unroll the condom over the penis with the other hand. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis, and smooth out any air bubbles. (Air bubbles can cause a condom to break.) If you want to use some extra lubrication, put it on the outside of the condom. But always use a water-based lubricant (such as KY Jelly or Liquid Silk) with latex condoms, as an oil-based lubricant will cause the latex to break. Click here to see picture of lubricants. The man wearing the condom doesn’t always have to be the one putting it on – it can be quite a nice thing for his partner to do.
What do you do if the condom won’t unroll?
The condom should unroll smoothly and easily from the rim on the outside. If you have to struggle or if it takes more than a few seconds, it probably means that you are trying to put the condom on upside down. To take off the condom, don’t try to roll it back up. Hold it near the rim and slide it off. Then start again with a new condom.
When do you take off the condom?
Pull out before the penis softens, and hold the condom against the base of the penis while you pull out, so that the semen doesn’t spill. Condom should be disposed properly for example wrapping it in a tissue and throwing it away. It’s not good to flush condoms down the toilet – they’re bad for the environment.
What do you do if a condom breaks?
If a condom breaks during sexual intercourse, then pull out quickly and replace the condom. Whilst you are having sex, check the condom from time to time, to make sure it hasn’t split or slipped off. If the condom has broken and you feel that semen has come out of the condom during sex, you should consider getting emergency contraception such as the morning after pill.
What condoms should you use for anal intercourse?
With anal intercourse more strain is placed on the condom. You can use stronger condoms (which are thicker) but standard condoms are just as effective as long as they are used correctly with plenty of lubricant. Condoms with a lubricant containing Nonoxynol 9 should NOT be used for anal sex as Nonoxynol 9 damages the lining of the rectum increasing the risk of HIV and other STD transmission.
Is using a condom effective?
If used properly, a condom is very effective at reducing the risk of being infected with HIV during sexual intercourse. Using a condom also provides protection against other sexually transmitted diseases, and protection against pregnancy. In the laboratory, latex condoms are very effective at blocking transmission of HIV because the pores in latex condoms are too small to allow the virus to pass through. However, outside of the laboratory condoms are less effective because people do not always use condoms properly. To find out more about the effectiveness of condoms, go to our Condom history, effectiveness and testing page.
How do you dispose of a used condom?
All condoms should be disposed of by wrapping in tissue or toilet paper and throwing them in the bin. Condoms should not be flushed down the toilet as they may cause blockages in the sewage system and pollution. Latex condoms are made mainly from latex with added stabilizers, preservatives and vulcanizing (hardening) agents. Latex is a natural substance made form rubber trees, but because of the added ingredients most latex condoms are not biodegradable. Polyurethane condoms are made from plastic and are not biodegradable. Biodegradable latex condoms are available from some manufacturers.
How can I persuade my partner that we should use a condom?
It can be difficult to talk about using condoms. But you shouldn’t let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to use a condom when you have sex. These are some comments that might be made and some answers that you could try…
Reasons to use condoms
There are many reasons to use condoms when having sex. You could go through these reasons with your partner and see what she/he thinks.
Condoms are the only contraceptive that help prevent both pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV) when used properly and consistently. Condoms are one of the most reliable methods of birth control when use properly and consistently. Condoms have none of the medical side-effects of some other birth control methods may have. Condoms are available in various shapes, colours, flavours, textures and sizes – to increase the fun of making love with condoms. Condoms are widely available in pharmacies, supermarkets and convenience stores. You don’t need a prescription or have to visit a doctor. Condoms make sex less messy. Condoms are user friendly. With a little practice, they can also add confidence to the enjoyment of sex. Condoms are only needed when you are having sex unlike some other contraceptives which require you to take or have them all of the time. Here are also some tips that can help you to feel more confident and relaxed about using condoms.
Confidence tips
Keep condoms handy at all times. If things start getting steamy – you’ll be ready. It’s not a good idea to find yourself having to rush out at the crucial moment to buy condoms – at the height of the passion you may not want to. When you buy condoms, don’t get embarrassed. If anything, be proud. It shows that you are responsible and confident and when the time comes it will all be worthwhile. It can be more fun to go shopping for condoms with your partner or friend. Nowadays, it is also easy to buy condoms discreetly on the internet. Talk with your partner about using a condom before having sex. It removes anxiety and embarrassment. Knowing where you both stand before the passion stands will make you lot more confident that you both agree and are happy about using a condom. If you are new to condoms, the best way to learn how to use them is to practice putting them on by yourself or your partner. It does not take long to become a master. If you feel that condoms interrupt you passion then try introducing condoms into your lovemaking. It can be really sexy if your partner helps you put it on or you do it together.
contributed by AVERT a non-profit organization dedicated to the prevention of AIDS/HIV.
Condom Slogans
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Recently, and mostly within the United States, the use of the term safer sex rather than safe sex has gained greater use by health workers, with the realization the grounds that risk of transmission of sexually-transmitted infections in various sexual activities is a continuum rather than a simple dichotomy between risky and safe. However, in most other countries, including the United Kingdom and Australia, the term safe sex is still mainly used by sex educators. Because these terms are virtually synonymous with each other, they will be used interchangeably throughout this article.
Focus on AIDS
Much attention has focused on controlling HIV, which causes AIDS, through the use of condoms, but each STI presents a different predicament. However, sex educators recommend that some form of barrier protection as a harm reduction measure should be used for all sexual activities which might potentially result in the exchange of body fluids.
Sexual abstinence, while it virtually eliminates the risk of STIs or pregnancy, is technically not a method of pursuing “safer sex”. Solitary masturbation (including so-called “phone sex” and “cybersex”) is also completely safe.
Controlling social factors
Outside of total abstinence and masturbation, proponents of safer sex recommend that some of the following methods can minimize the risks of STI transmission and pregnancy during sexual activity.
Monogamy. However, be aware that many monogamous people have been infected with sexually-transmitted diseases by non-monogamous partners, partners who use injection drugs, or previously infected partners.
Knowing your partner(s), especially their STI status.
Treating existing STIs and infections of the genitals or mouth (which may increase the chance of transmission).
Communicating with your partner. Being assertive in saying what you want and don’t want. This includes discussing beforehand what is acceptable and what is not to avoid “heat of passion” decisions
For those who are not monogamous, reducing your number of sexual partners, particularly anonymous sexual partners, will also reduce your potential exposure to STIs.
Not using recreational drugs, including alcohol, in a way that increases the likelihood you will be negligent of other safer sex guidelines.
Preventing fluid exchange:Avoiding any contact with blood, vaginal fluid, and semen of the partner:Use condoms. Condoms cover the penis during sexual activity. They are most frequently made of latex, but can also be made out of polyurethane for those who have a latex allergy, or they can be made out of animal intestine. Polyurethane is thought to be a safe material for use in condoms, since it is nonporous and viruses cannot pass through it. However, there is less research on its effectiveness than there is on latex. Any condoms made out of animal skin or intestine, such as Trojan NaturaLamb, are not thought to be safe because they are porous and viruses such as HIV can pass through them.
Female condom.
This condom is inserted into the vagina prior to intercourse. It is also sometimes used for anal sex. Dental dam. A sheet of latex (originally used for dentistry) for protection when engaging in oral sex. It is typically used as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina during cunnilingus or between the mouth and the anus during anilingus. A piece of plastic wrap (such as Saran™ wrap) may also be used as a dental dam; Saran™ wrap has been tested by the FDA and CDC and found effective in preventing the transmission of virus-sized particles, although “microwave-safe” wrap may be ineffective. Latex condoms may also be cut to form an improvised dental dam. Medical gloves. Gloves made out of latex, vinyl, nitrile, or polyurethane may be used as dental dams during oral sex, or to protect the hands during mutual masturbation. Hands may have invisible cuts on them that may admit pathogens that are found in semen or vaginal fluid. Although the risk of infection in this manner is thought to be low, some people use gloves as an extra precaution. Gloves also make mutual masturbation more comfortable by preventing sharp fingernails from accidentally scratching the genitalia. Another way to avoid contact with blood and semen is outercourse (non-penetrative sex), or forms of penetration that do not involve a penis, such as the use of dildos (when cleaned or covered with condoms).
Ineffective methods
Note that most methods of contraception (birth control) other than the barrier methods mentioned above are not effective at preventing the spread of STIs.
The spermicide Nonoxynol-9 has been claimed to reduce the likelihood of STI transmission. However a recent study by the World Health Organisation~ http://www.who.int/en/ has shown that Nonoxynol-9 is an irritant and can produce tiny tears in mucous membranes, which may increase the risk of transmission by offering pathogens more easy points of entry into the system. As a result condoms with a Nonoxynol-9 lubricant are not to be promoted. However it is better to use a condom with Nonoxynol-9 than no condom at all.
Coitus interruptus (or “pulling out”), in which the penis is removed from the vagina, anus, or mouth before ejaculation, is not safe sex and can result in STI transmission or pregnancy. This is because of the formation of pre-ejaculate, a fluid (which may contain sperm) that oozes from the urethra before actual ejaculation. In addition, open sores on either partner can permit transmission Also see unsafe sex practices, Facts were current at time of publishing.
Smoking fetishism (capnolagnia) is a sexual fetish consisting of the fetishization of the smoking of tobacco and marijuana. Among heterosexual men, the fetish is often associated with oral fixations and fellatio
The smoking fetish appears to be rare enough that its existence went largely unnoticed until the advent of the Internet, when fetishists began to meet online, trading pictures of smoking women, short stories, and reporting sightings or simply discussing their fascination on open forums. Some of the earlier news groups were alt.smokers.glamour (ASG) and alt.sex.fetish.smokers (ASFS).
In addition to free sites, often containing scans from magazines or candid pictures, there are a number of ‘professional’ sites offering DVDs and VHS tapes of trained models who smoke in front of the camera.
Some fetishists have a fascination with the addictive properties of nicotine, and its ability to cause harm, and there is a sub-fetish relating to women or men being harmed by smoking, sometimes called “lung damage”. For women this is seen in videos showing women smoking and coughing, suggesting self-destructiveness. More common videos are those showing a woman or a man in bondage, being forced to smoke or to inhale smoke. “Glamor” smoking and “dark side” smoking are the major divisions within the fetish. The glamor aspect of the fetish emphasizes the way smoking visually enhances women’s sexual appeal; the dark side links smoking to female domination, bondage and domination, and sadism/masochism. Both elements may be related to the appeal of the “bad girl” and the fantasy that even a “girl next door” type who smokes may be a tigress in the bedroom. A handful of producers specialize in videos appealing to one or both sides of the fetish.
The glamorous aspect of women’ smoking traditionally has had wide appeal, among the general population as well as among those who find it sexually arousing. This appeal has always been emphasized in cigarette advertising, and undoubtedly one reason young women have been drawn to smoking cigarettes. Historically considered a masculine habit, the feminization of smoking with the advent of fashion brands specifically marketed towards women has drawn the attention of fetishists who see the use of these brands as a way for women to increase or enhance their sexual appeal. Most often this fascination is focused on young fashion-conscious professional women who are the target demographic for these brands, which are differentiated by slimness and added length over traditional brands of cigarettes. Videos for the glamor smoking fetish are typically a model or models smoking, sometimes directly to the camera (representing the viewer) but more often with the camera as an observer. Sub-fetishes may include specific cigarette brands, types (corks, lengths), or holders (often with the woman wearing gloves).
The dark side of smoking emphasizes the dominance of the woman smoker, whether in BDSM fetish gear or as the “take charge” sadistic girlfriend. Videos produced for this aspect of the fetish often show a man in bondage with one or more women blowing smoke in his face, “ashing” him, forcing him to eat their ashes, and possibly being burned. Because of its relation to male humiliation and masochism, the dark side of the smoking fetish is most often combined with other fetishes, including corporal punishment. Dark side fetishists also include those whose attraction is to the lit cigarette (as an implement of pain) or to an ashtray of butts (as an object with which to humiliate him).
Ironically, as mainstream society has recognized the dangers of smoking, the effect has been to heighten interest in smoking fetishism. The more we recognize that smoking is bad for our health, the truer it becomes that only “bad” girls smoke, and the more attractive they become to the smoking fetishist.
Someone once posted a question to a group I belong too, asking what can I do to turn on a sub with a smoking fetish. I suggested the following: this is by no means a complete list but just meant as a starting place to feed your own ideas.
. Having your bottom light your smoke… (In this and all following, “bottom” can be used interchangeably with partner, boy, cub, submissive, masochist, cigpig, slave.)
. Instructing your bottom how to select the smoke , properly lighting it without getting the end any more wet with his spit, and presenting it to you for your smoking pleasure…
. Having your bottom hold your ashtray while you smoke your cigarette..
. Letting him watch you as you smoke
. Letting him worship you in whatever way he wants while you smoke your cigarette…
. Letting him jerk off as he watches you smoking your cigarette…
. Letting him smell/breathe the cigarette smell that’s accumulated on your black leather gloves…
. Letting him smell/suck/taste the cigar smoke that’s scented your face
. Letting him / making him taste what your tongue and the inside of your mouth taste like while smoking a cigarette…
. Having him kiss and lick the length of the cigarette while you’re smoking it in your mouth…
. Letting him kiss you while smoking the cigarette, tasting the wet end of the cigarette in your mouth, sucking out the smoke out of your mouth…
. Rubbing the filter end of a lit cigarette around his cock, his nipples, his face, or wherever…
. Getting your boots licked/cleaned/polished and/or your feet licked/cleaned/worshipped while smoking your cigarette…
.Getting your nipples sucked while smoking your cigarette…
. Getting your pits licked while smoking your cigarette…
. Getting your pussy sucked while smoking your cigarette…
. Getting your ass rimmed while smoking your cigarette…
. Smoking a cigarette as you fuck him…
. Smoking a cigarette as you belt or flog him…
. Tying him up and/or adding clothespins, clamps, weights, or other fiendish devices and letting him watch you smoke a cigarette while you watch him, telling him he won’t be untied/released until you finish smoking it (watch him cry as you reach for another cigarette)…
. Having your bottom empty your ashtrays…
. Having him light the cigarettes, clear ashtrays, fetch drinks, and otherwise service you and another or a group of your cigarette smoking girlfriends
.exhale/blow smoke on his pecs/cock/balls, letting the smoke bounce off and swirl around them
. Watching / worshipping / jerking off / fucking as you both smoke cigarettes…
. Blowing smoke in your bottom’s face…
. Forcing your bottom to smoke a cigarette…
. Letting him / making him smoke your cigarette butts…
. Making him smoke the entirety of the strongest cigarette without removing it from his mouth…
. Making him breathe in all your cigarette smoke, using a gas mask with tube…
. Forcing your bottom to inhale the cigarette smoke… (advanced)
. Exhaling your smoke directly into his mouth and/or lungs…
. “Swapping” your cigarette smoke until it’s dissipated or one or both of you pass out :)/~…
. Forcing your bottom to inhale the cigarette smoke repeatedly… (advanced)
. Forcing your bottom to hold in the inhaled cigarette smoke… (advanced)
. Encouraging your bottom not to throw up :)/~…
. Flicking the hot cigarette ashes onto his naked body…
. Rubbing the hot cigarette ashes into his skin…
. Jerking him off with the grit of cigarette ash for “lubrication”…
. Torturing his nipples with the hot end of your cigarette…
. Torturing his cock and/or balls with the hot end of your cigarette…
. Heating up any or all of his piercing rings with your cigarette…
. Torturing your bottom’s chest, ass cheeks, or anywhere you wish with your cig…
. Pulling out his white T-shirt, bringing your lit cigarette up under it, burning holes through it at the appropriate places to then torture his nipples with your cigarette…
. Doing similar with his white jockey shorts…
. Inserting a wooden match in your bottom’s pisshole of his cock, lighting the match, and then lighting your cigarette from this, blowing the burning match out just before it seriously burns his pisshole…
. Singing/burning off his chest, pubic, or other hair with the lit end of your cigarette… (advanced; work quickly to prevent burns; and not for everyone – the cigarette smoke mitigates, but does not eliminate, the stench of burning hair)
. Making stripes or other designs on your bottom’s skin by “painting” with the hot end of your cigarette…
. Permanently marking (branding) him with the hot end of your cigarette…
. Putting your cigarette out on your bottom’s body… (advanced; best to not puff on your cigarette for one minutes before so doing
. Putting your cigarette out on him, lessening the pain and marking by doing it through clothing, such as a pair of Levis…
. Putting your cigarette out on your bottom’s body, mitigating some of the pain and branding by making sure the surface of his skin is wet by pissing on him first…
. Putting your cigarette out on a part of your bottom’s body which he’ll never be able to see directly, without using a mirror…
. Making your bottom choose where he wants you to put out your cigarette on him…
. Making your bottom beg for you to put out your cigarette on him…
. Having your bottom eat the small piece of tobacco clipped or bitten from the end of your cigarette…
. spit onto him…
. Hawking your cigarette spit into his open mouth and making him swallow it…
. Swapping your cigarette spit…
. Hawking your cigarette spit onto the floor and having him lick it up…
. Flicking your ashes onto your boots and having your bottom lick them clean…
. Letting the cigarette ash cool in your hand then feeding it to your bottom…
. Flicking your ashes into his mouth to be eaten… (advanced)
. Having your bottom take the end of the ash still on your cigarette between his lips, break it off, hold it for a few seconds while it cools, then bring it into his mouth with his tongue for ingestion..
. Having your bottom stick his tongue out or pulling the tongue out of your bottom’s mouth and rubbing the extinguished butt over its surface…
. Having your bottom lick your ashtray clean…
. Letting or forcing your bottom to eat your moist, extinguished cigarette butt…
. Having your bottom store/prepare for smoking your cigarette in an aluminum cigar tube up his ass for at least an hour, all day, or overnight
. Putting a cigarette in an aluminum cigar tube up his butt and then taking him to your favorite … (hmm, any roads under construction?)
. Having him sleep with a cigarette up his ass, wrapped in a condom…
. Using the aluminum cigar tube stuck up your bottom’s ass to torture your bottom
. Using your bottom as an ashtray by leaving the aluminum cigar tube up his ass and carefully and quickly inserting the cigar and flicking off the ash–bottoms not able to hold such a position at length may need to be tied down… (very advanced; thickness of the aluminum tube vary–test first by flicking the ash off into the tube held tightly in your hand–you may need to add an inch or two of water to the bottom of the tube to prevent extremely serious burns)
*Doing any or all of the above with him tied up..
*Having your bottom present you with a box of your favorite cigarettes, wanting to do all this again…
Once your bottom has performed any of the above to your satisfaction, doing it having him do it in front of your buddies or in public (as appropriate)…
)
