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Disabilities, Sex Toys, and Femdom

I would like to build this page as a on going resource, any links you feel would be of use please feel free to send them to me… sites and services such as the below are sorely needed in our BDSM/Femdom community. MissBonnie


John R. Killacky and Bob Guter. Queer Crips: “Explore the Challenges Facing People who are Both Disabled and Queer.” Haworth Press, Binghamton, 2003

Miriam Kaufman, Cory Silverberg, and Fran Odette. The Ultimate Guide To Sex and Disability. Cleis Press San Francisco, 2003

Ken Kroll and Erica Klein. Enabling Romance. No Limits Communications. Horsham, 1992.

Romel W. Mackelprang and Deborah Valentine. Sexuality and Disabilities. Haworth Press, Binghamton, 1996

Cross-disability websites: This is a site orientated for those that have disabilities that practice or incorporate BDSM into their lives, or live an alternative or kinky lifestyle. The site aim is too provide a home for those that have disabilities to network, share, hang out, learn, and help folks know that just because you might have a disability - it doesn't mean that you can't live or practice BDSM, be kinky, or live an alternative lifestyle.

Disabilities don't mean you are less of a dominant/top or a submissive/slave/bottom - it simply means that you must learn to work around and find a different way to do some things.

they will NOT focus on disabilities being a negative thing , but to show there is a positive side, and celebrate what we CAN achieve, over and around our limitations of the flesh.

Join them, make yourself at home, and find friends, share your experiences and what you've learned, and most of all, have fun!

P.S. This is NOT a site meant for pretenders/wannabes that have a fetish of pretending they have a disability or those with the fetish of being an amputee, being disabled or being an invalid. We aren't saying that isn't a valid fetish - simply that this site is for those that have no choice in handling their disability in their lives. If you are looking for a site that discusses the fetish of being an invalid, amputee, or a being disabled, please try - as they have a board specifically for those fetishes. - general info on sexuality and disability - goal to challenge sexuality and disability myths - resources list of books and videos including keywords and comments -disabled women’s network of Ontario - great list of links for toys, resources, sites… - great links - guides to Wheel Chair Dancing when one partner is in a wheelchair

Disability-specific websites: - MS and sexuality - Cystic Fibrosis and sexuality for both adults and teens - not specifically about sex but a great site for the GLBT deaf community - sexual and reproductive health post spinal cord injury - resources on intellectual disability, including sexuality - women, sexuality and disability - nude self-portraits of male with disability - review of book “Couples With Intellectual Disabilities Talk About Living and Loving” “There’s nothing as unimaginative as popular culture when it comes to sex. If any group can break that stranglehold, it’s the disability community.” -Lisa Tarricone, “Sex and Disabilities” 1598 barrington street, halifax. 902 422 0004 320 lisgar street, ottawa 613 789 4646 Venus Envy is an education oriented sex shop and bookstore. Their goal is to provide women and their partners a respectful (and fun!) place where they can find toys and tools to explore their gender and sexuality. We believe that one of the best tools you can have to enjoy a healthy and erotic sex life is knowledge. To that end, we’ve developed a series of pamphlets. They are based on our workshops and on the information sheets displayed in our stores. We want to make positive sex information available to everybody! Our pamphlet series covers many aspects of sex, sexuality, health and relationships. They are always evolving, with new topics being added all the time. We welcome any comments and suggestions that you may have.

well as an extensive online resource guide at

Disability is a word we don’t usually find alongside notions of healthy, exciting, functioning sexuality. This omission fails to acknowledge the fact that people with disabilities not only have sex but have diverse and healthy sexual desires and interests. The sexual issues and interests of people with disabilities vary widely according to an individual’s lifestyle, orientation, interests, and identity. They also vary according to the given disability, which may be physical, intellectual, psychiatric, visual, hearing, or otherwise. What unites all this rich diversity is the fact that all people, including people with disabilities, have the right to experience and express their sexuality in an affirming and empowering way, without stigma or barriers. Unfortunately, people with disabilities face many oppressive stereotypes when it comes to their sexuality, including assumptions that they may be nonsexual, asexual, infertile, sexually deviant and/or unsexy. These attitudes are hurtful, false and oppressive to both people with disabilities and those who love them. Besides these attitudinal barriers, people with disabilities also face more concrete barriers when it comes to experiencing and expressing their sexuality, which may include a lack of privacy from families and/or caregivers, high rates of sexual abuse, physical inaccessibility that prevents access to sexually affirming spaces, and high rates of unemployment resulting in a lack of money to go out, purchase books or sex toys, have access to the internet etc.

These attitudinal and concrete barriers stem from many complex socio-political factors that are far too complex to explore in greater depth here. What we can do, however, is provide a launching point for affirming and sharing a world of sexuality and disability with everyone out there. This collection of information and resources includes some great tips, advice on adaptive toys, and recommended books and websites, all intended to promote knowledge, understanding, creativity, affirmation and fun. Below you will find a basic introduction to sex toys and some ideas for modifying toys to better suit your needs. Pick up one of our many other free publications to find out more about specific types of play.

Why sex toys?

Toys offer lots of variety, in many ways, since there are speeds, colors, lengths and textures for just about every taste. They can also bring another kind of fun and adventure into sex. And for people with short fingers, repetitive strain injury, reduced grip or mobility or decreased genital sensation, toys can help reach that extra half-inch or last those important few seconds longer.

Adapting toys to work for you can be very simple. Using a pair of snug underwear can make a vibrating bullet a hands-free friend. Or a larger vibrator such as the “Hitachi Magic Wand” could be laid on top of you for easy stimulation. For men, a hands-free choice may be a micro vibe cock ring that fits around the base of the penis or the penis and testicles. See our page on cock rings for more info. Duct tape can be used to attach a longer handle to a shorter toy, or to tape a vibrator to your underwear. A long handled toy that we like a lot is the “Slim G Vibe”. It’s multi-speed and works for either external or internal play, for both men and women. A vibe that’s built to be easy to hang onto such as the “Fuzuoku” might work but only comes in one speed so that may be limiting.

Vibration may be great for one person but many people enjoy penetration without vibration and opt for a dildo or a butt plug. Using a dildo, hands-free is made a lot easier if it has a base. Try using duct tape to attach the dildo to a chair or other heavy object. You can purchase a harness that’s built to wrap around a thigh or a chair and use the dildo with that. Butt plugs are great too as they offer lots of gentle stimulation without the need to push them in and out constantly. There is much to know about sex and toys and this pamphlet is a very brief introduction to both.


Article by MissBonnie ©

disabilities_toys.txt · Last modified: 2022/10/24 02:09 by admin