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BDSM Parties Etiquette

Are you going to a BDSM party for the first time? You are not sure about the way you should behave there?

Actually BDSM parties as well as many other events imply some certain etiquette rules. Being aware of these etiquette rules will help you feel free and more self confident among the experienced BDSM practitioners. Thus you will show your good manners and you will always be a desired quest at such parties. Actually following the etiquette rules does not begin at the party itself. As well it covers some things you should do before the party and after it.

Before the party

  • 1.Before going to a BDSM party find out whether you should bring them something. You might be asked to bring for example some food. It would be rather unpleasant if you realize that all participants of the party but you have brought something.

By the way, keep in mind that in many communities drugs and alcohol are forbidden at play parties. So do not bring such things without discussing the matter with the host.

  • 2. Before going to a play party, try to find as much information about matters you are interested in as you can. This should be done in order not to bother the party's participants by asking foolish questions. Leave only those questions you cannot find answers to in other sources.

During the Party

Naturally the vast majority of etiquette rules concern the party itself. Necessarily keep in mind the following things: Never touch anyone without permission.

The fact that a naked man (or a woman) is standing near you, drinking lemonade and smiling does not mean that you can spank his or her buttocks or even touch his arm. No touching without permission! On the other hand you certainly can offer your hand for handshake or ask permission to embrace someone, or to kiss, or have a closer look at someone's piercing. This is unlikely to be considered invasion, but be ready for refusal which should not offend you. You do no want everyone to touch you, do you?

Keep silence during action.

If you feel like chatting - then go somewhere else. You might think your joke or admiring comment was heard only by your neighbor. However, this is likely to turn out that it was heard by the top or bottom participating in the scene. Would you like to hear someone speak while you are reaching orgasm? You certainly would not. So be polite and keep silence. Your imprudent remarks can destroy someone's nice scene.

Do not interfere in someone's action even if it seems to you that everyone can take part in it. The scene might look like an invitation for everyone to join and to play with the bottom. However, the scene might have been planned in advance on purpose so that to make group play look casual. The Top might set hidden signs to those whose participation he considers necessary. You can join only if invited. If you have some doubts then ask the Top whether you should join the action or not. Never touch anyone's BDSM toys without permission. Even if someone offered you his or her BDSM toy, ask the owner whether you can do this or that with the offered BDSM toy.

Be especially careful with someone's metal BDSM toys, for instance with knives - it might turn out that the owner has just sterilized them.

Never stare at anything you have never seen before.

Well, you can watch and learn something new, but do be polite. Behave yourself, do not be like a 10 year boy watching his girl classmate with her skirt up.

If you see something that shocks you - too much blood, too severe tortures or nipple piercing or something you didn't expect to see and that seems too extreme to you - try to hide your emotion. Or go out if you feel you cannot hide your reaction. Generally speaking you should relax and be as you are. Be open and friendly. Do not know what to speak about? Well, you can ask questions about BDSM techniques, BDSM toys and other things you are interested in. Listen to the answers friendly and attentively. And do not forget about sense of humor.

After party

Never mention the participants' names

when speaking with someone who didn't take part in the party. Never place in the Internet any information that contains someone's names. Even mentioning a name in a letter is likely to be considered breach of etiquette. Even if you think that the person you are speaking about is not known to the person you are writing to - do not mention any names, nicknames or other details a person can be recognized by. Small world!

Clean up the play area

and pick up all your BDSM toys. Ask the hosts to give you cleaning materials so as to leave after yourself completely clean play area and furniture

Thank the hosts

Thank the hosts of the party through e-mail and do not think this is not going to be observed. Do that even if you have thanked the hosts when leaving the party.

Article MissBonnie

parties_etiquette.txt · Last modified: 2022/10/21 01:18 by admin