Please note these videos contain Mixed BDSM content and are not solely Femdom
My name is Evie. I’m a peer educator on all things related to BDSM, kink and alternative lifestyles. My number one goal is to help everyone find their own personal truth as it relates to their sexuality, their desires, and their relationship needs. I hope you’ll learn a new thing or two while you’re with me.
BDSM 101: Waxplay
BDSM 101: Waxplay
BDSM 101: Watersports
So! After many requests on one of my previous videos, here is finally a video on watersports! This is not meant to be a complete tutorial but is a helpful introductory guide to the subject in case you are curious. This is a form of edgeplay for many people so be sure to talk about it with your partner completely before participating. Also note that many dungeons do not allow this form of play. That being said this is a very hot kink / fetish for people who like humiliation, degrading others, and messy play. More information can be found at these links:
Petplay Toy & Activity Ideas
uckily, petplay (no matter what kind of pet you are) offers a ton of variety in the types of scenes and the types of toys you can use from play. This ranges from treats and toys all the way to paw mitts, "cones of shame" and more!
BDSM 101: Edgeplay
So, what is Edgeplay? what defines it, what do people mean they say it, and how the heck do you know what edgeplay means to you? I'll go over all of this and more in this video!
The Ultimate Guide to Subspace
After much delay, behold: the ultimate guide to Subspace. What is it? How do you get there? What types of play are associated with subspace? What does it feel like? What happens after you leave subspace? If it's a question you have ever had about subspace, we'll be covering it here.
BDSM 101: Gags
It's time for another 101 video! Of course, I'm the only person who could turn this type of discussion into a 25 minute lecture. But as it turns out, there is a LOT to talk about in the world of gags -- dozens of types, safety and medical considerations, how to use them in scenes, which types are safe for newbies, even how long you can wear them for. If you love gags, or are just curious about trying one, stick around and we'll dive right in.
BDSM 101: Blindfolds and Hoods
And we are back again today with another 101 video! We'll be diving deep into the world of blindfolds and hoods. If you have ever seen a bdsm themed movie (hint: 50 shades, 9 1/2 weeks) you've probably seen a blindfold. They are everywhere at sex shops and bachelorette parties too. But for what can often seem to be a very safe, easy way to start playing with kink in the bedroom there is more to them than meets the eye! Pun intended. If you have ever wanted to know about how to use one, what they feel like, where to buy them, what the best styles are and more this is the video for you. And for those who are looking for a bit of a deeper journey we'll also be discussing the world of hoods in this video as well. Perfect for exploring with roleplay, different headspaces and letting go of your inhibitions.
BDSM 101: Handcuffs
Oh, handcuffs. The wonderful, ubiquitous sign of kink that you are -- so taboo, yet somehow "safe" enough for book covers, bachelorette parties and women's magazines. In today's video I want to dig into the reality of handcuffs -- what they are, how to use them, safety tips, comfort, different types, and how to tell cheap cuffs from quality ones. Handcuffs are certainly much more than meets the eye!
All About Ponyplay: An Interview with Pony Tromper
While we've spent a lot of time on this channel covering the world of puppyplay, and pet play in general, I've not been able to cover the mysterious world of pony play before. Big thanks to Pony Tromper who kindly gave his time to talk to me about what ponyplay is, how it got started, the community over time, gear, play ideas, and more! So if you've been curious about ponyplay before this is a great conversation to listen to before you get started.
New Red Flags to Look Out for in BDSM
Yes, we're back on this wagon again everyone! Red flags! In previous videos I have spent a lot of time discussing how to evaluate play partners and people on the internet... but it seems a lot of the danger in the community also runs not just with the people at events but the people making the events themselves. So here is an expanded list of things I think you should look out for and keep in mind during your kink journey. Stay safe!
BDSM Toys From HOME DEPOT? | DIY & Affordable Kink Gear
For YEARS ya'll have been requesting a video on affordable, cheap, easy, beginner-friendly, DIY kink toys. And finally here is your answer! What can you get on a trip to Home Depot aka Kink Depot? What are some good toys to start with -- and how can you use them in scenes? Whether you are into roleplay, petplay, impact, spanking, bondage or sensory deprivation there are toys in this list for you. Looking for thuddy impact? What about sting? Curious to try out something weird and wonderful? We got you.
Unique Kink DIY Ideas!
Even if you've only been barely exposed to the kink community, chances are you know about floggers, paddles, and the like. And those can be lovely to play with but they are expensive! Do you need those to do BDSM? Absolutely not. So let's talk about some fantastic, unique DIY options you can use for kink instead. Whether you're brand-new to kink and just starting with a budget, or you're an experienced kinkster looking to wow (or confuse) your play partners, there's something for you on this list!
EASY Kink DIY Toys! | Beginner Friendly BDSM at Home
When life gives you lemons, you take those lemons, some ice and a kitchen spoon and have yourself a little bdsm scene. 😉 Today we are going to be talking about simple DIY BDSM gear you can find around the house! In lockdown and want to get started with kink? Trying to cope with not having a dungeon? This video is for you. Whether you are into roleplay, petplay, impact, spanking, bondage or sensory deprivation chances are you'll find something that works!
BDSM 101: Cupping
BIG DISCLAIMER AGAIN: THIS VIDEO DOES NOT SUPPORT ANY SUPPOSED MEDICAL BENEFITS ASSOCIATED WITH CUPPING. This video is discussing cupping as a fun, relaxing experience between consenting adults and is not intended as a guide or anything in support of its use as alternative / holistic medicine. But with that in mind... what the heckin' heck is cupping? What about fire cupping, or even blood cupping? Why do people like this? What does this have to do with the Olympic men's swimming team? How can you do this in a kink setting? If you've ever been curious how to get consistent marks, how you can start doing cupping for yourself, or better understand a rather unusual form of play you are in the right place.
Community Red Flags to Look Out For [BDSM]
We all know by now that there are red flags to look for in BDSM. How to figure out if someone is who they say there are, how to avoid potentially abusive people. But what about the community itself? How do you know if an event or party is safe, or the right one for you? Let's discuss.
BDSM 101: Sensation Play
Ah, the touch of a feather. A cool cube of ice running down your back. Sensation play is at once a classic, and also an often forgotten, area of BDSM play. It's often dismissed as being soft stuff for newbies, but is that really the case? Can sensation play be suitable for more advanced players as well? And if it interests you, how can you get started? Let's discuss.
BDSM 101: Sensory Deprivation
Being tied down, earplugs in, blindfold on, lost in a world someone is creating in your head. Sensory deprivation is an often misunderstood area of BDSM, often reserved for the butt of shock value jokes in comedy series, with men in gimp masks and sleepsacks. But what is sensory deprivation really about? Is it safe for newbies to kink, or is better for more advanced players? What ways can you use this in BDSM? Let's discuss.
BDSM 101: Crying Fetish / Making Someone Cry
What's up with crying fetishes? How can you make someone cry during a scene? Why are people into stuff like this? Well, if you've been curious about dacryphilia this is the video for you!
BDSM 101: How To End a Scene
So, you've found someone you want to play with. You've planned the best scene ever. Play went awesome! But now what? How can you end a scene with grace? How do you know when to wrap things up? What if there's roleplay? And aftercare? We'll go over a ton of options in today's video.
BDSM 101: Body Painting
Annnnd we're back with another BDSM 101 video! Today we're talking about the wide world of bodypainting. What is it, how to do it safely, starter ideas for scenes, as well as how to mix it into play you already enjoy for more advanced kinksters
BDSM 101: Body Writing
Annnnd we're back with another BDSM 101 video! Today we're talking about the wide world of body writing. What is it, how to do it safely, starter ideas for scenes, as well as how to mix it into play you already enjoy for more advanced kinksters. Hope you enjoy, and remember part 2 where we discuss body painting will be out soon.
BDSM 101: Expanding Limits
hello everyone! today we are going to talk about limits: soft limits, hard limits, why you might want to change your limits, or why someone might want to change your limits for you... the good, the bad, the ugly, and how to navigate it all the right away. And the pitfalls to avoid. So let's talk about it!
BDSM 101: Tickle TortureNew video
BDSM 101: Tickle Torture
BDSM 101: Figging
somehow this has nothing to do with figs... confusing I know. But be confused no longer! In this video we'll be going over everything figging: where it comes from, how to use it in scenes, troubleshooting problems and safety issues, common motivations for figging, how it feels and how to try it for yourself!
The Truth About Ghosting
Oh boy, this is going to be a personal one. Let's talk about ghosting. What is it, how to deal with it, move past it and grow from it. If you are currently going through ghosting, just know that you are not alone. And while it is painful, you WILL be okay. I believe in you.
Safe(r) Zones for BDSM Play: A Head to Toe Guide
In this video we'll be discussing a long-asked question: where exactly on the body can you do BDSM? Most people ask this question in relation to impact play and spanking, and while we will be focusing on that in this video we'll be going beyond that to show you how you can incorporate (just about) the whole body into kink. Ever wondered what to do with the biceps? Can you do anything with the genitals? Which is the best spot on the butt for a good spanking? Let's find out!
The Toxic Side of Submission [BDSM]
Oh boy, it's time for another one of my world-famous super serious conversations! Today we are going to be discussing the toxic side of long-term D/s relationships. While we know that power exchange can be a beautiful thing that lifts people up, how do we deal with some of the potential downsides? Can they be avoided, are there solutions? Or are submissives doomed to a life of low self-esteem and dependence on their partners? Let's discuss.
How to Introduce BDSM to a Partner, The RIGHT Way
Alright everyone, after FOUR years we are finally revisiting an incredibly popular topic: how to introduce a partner to kink, the right way. Please note this video is designed for those who want to add kink to an existing vanilla relationship, not for those looking for a kinky partner in the wild. Also, be aware these are just ideas on how to proceed with the conversation! I cannot predict how your partner will react and you know your own relationship and partner best. Take what is helpful from this video and leave the rest. Not everything I say here will work for everyone and these techniques are not a guarantee that your partner will be into kink! Best of luck to all of you starting down this path for the first tim
Should Dominants be Trained... as Submissives? [BDSM]
Today we have a fun little combination of history lesson, myth busting and opinion video. Do Dominants have to train as submissives, or even slaves, first before they can take on that title? Where does this idea come from -- and is it useful or not? Is there a potential for abuse or problems here? Is this something we should continue to do, or is it better left in the past? Let's discuss.
Do Submissives Have a Right to Privacy? | Transparency, Abuse and Kink Relationships
FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. All of my videos are intended to provide safety information for adults that choose to engage in these activities as well as combat stereotypes and misinformation. In addition these videos may contain educational commentary on queer issues, pop culture, and news items. No portion of my content is meant to be used for gratification, nor is it intentionally salacious. All content used falls within fair use guidelines for education and commentary purposes.
EVE Online eveonline.com Play free Sponsored 1 of 2 1:31 eveonline.com Skip 0:18 / 1:54 It's OKAY to Say NO to Kink!
Hey everyone! we're back again with another video, this time coming from the perspective of... is it really okay to not be into kinky sex? With the recent popularity of "kinkier" sex in mainstream pornography, the lines between vanilla, bdsm, and "something inbetween" is getting blurred. And unfortunately it seems the standards we have for play and communication aren't being brought along, just the activities. So let's talk about being true to yourself, social pressure, the stigma of being "vanilla" and what happens when the non-kink world tries to apply it's consent framework to our activities.
How to Spot a FAKE SUBMISSIVE
Keep in mind that during this video, I am referring to a broader spectrum of behavior besides just outright pretending to be submissive. Rather, there is a range of people that do not understand how to approach submission from a genuine, healthy framework and treat their Doms like fantasy objects there to fulfill their needs and not much else. It's complicated, so let's talk about it!
Dealing with Failure in Relationships and the BDSM CommunityNew video
let's have a conversation today about dealing with failure. How you can navigate managing your own expectations versus your Dominant's, your internal expectations versus that of the community, and how we can make everything more inclusive for new people, and separating minor failures from big mistakes. It's a complicated one so let's get into it!
Better Bottoming: Vetting, Skills and Safety Tips for Rope Bondage
Better Bottoming: Vetting, Skills and Safety Tips for Rope Bondage
Sponsored · Chrome is built to perform google.com Download Skip Bloodplay: Stigma, Fear and Play on the Edge
major content warning for this one, all things related to blood, piercings, and so on including self play. Please proceed with caution, but I encourage you to watch this one! If you've been feeling squicked by play with blood, don't understand why people would like it, or think it's all just strict, extreme medical play I think you should try to stay with it. This is NOT an instructional video, but IS intended for those dealing with stigma and overcoming stereotypes and fear. PLEASE do not attempt play like what is mentioned within without robust in-person instruction!
How to Stay Safe While Exploring BDSM & Meeting People!
How to Stay Safe While Exploring BDSM & Meeting People!
Your Guide To BDSM Events & Parties: Dungeons, Munches and More!
hello everyone! in today's video we're going to be talking all about events and parties -- what types of parties there are, how to find them, how to tell a good venue from a bad venue and connect with people you mesh with. Whether you're an experienced player coming back, or a new person trying things out for the first time this video is for you! Don't know what a munch is? Never heard of a taster event? Don't worry because we'll cover all of that as well.
"Doormat" Submissives, Self Esteem And Power Exchange
Today we're going to talk about a favorite subject on this channel: self esteem, submission and what it means to be a "doormat" submissive, courtesy of a not-very-good-book I recently read. Can you be submissive if you don't have self-esteem? What does that look like? Where are the lines between the two? Do all s-types struggle with their self image? Let's discuss!
Dom Disillusionment Syndrome: Or, Is It Your Expectations?
Last week I came across an interesting post from the one and only Race Bannon on a little know subject called "Dom Disillusionment Syndrome"; what happens when fantasy and reality collide in your relationship? What do you do when your partner isn't who you thought, or dreamed they would be? Whats the difference between a fake Dom, and a Dom that's really just a human being that makes mistakes? Let's discuss.
Submission, Masculinity and Stereotypes [BDSM]
Are you ready for some ladysplaining about masculinity and submission? Because that's what this video is! Let's talk about stereotypes, masculine ideals, and conforming to social pressure. As well as the motivations behind submission for men, and the ways they do or don't conform to stereotypes, and the ways so-called traditional masculinity CAN go hand-in-hand with submission if you want it to. Please let me know your thoughts down in the comment section below.
The Secrets of Pain Tolerance & Developing Masochism [BDSM]
Hello everyone! today we are going into one of my favorite nerdy science subjects: pain tolerance! I'll try to keep the science-talk to a minimum, but today I'd like to do some myth-busting around pain. Is it just "getting numb", and you need to "deaden your nerves" to take more pain? what the heck is leatherbutt? How does pain tolerance work, and change? how can you change YOUR pain tolerance? And why the heck is all of this such a big deal in the first place? Let's discuss!
BDSM Under the Influence: Common, or Dangerous?
This video is all about substance usage in the BDSM community. Some people feel like they need a little liquid courage to do kinky things. Other people can't imagine why anyone would want to do this sober. But is there any truth to that? What are BDSM parties like? Is drinking or other substances commonplace? We'll also talk about this impacts consent, safety, how things feel, and how to evaluate the risks of doing kinky stuff while in a mind-altered state. Stay safe everyone!
What is Soft Dominance? [BDSM]
Hello everyone! Today we are going to be diving into a contentious subject: soft dominance aka gentle dominance. Is it a real thing? is it used in the real life community? How is it different from other types of domination, like caregiving, service topping or gentle femdom? Where did the term come from? And could it even potentially be harmful or promote false stereotypes? We'll be discussing all of that and more in this video! I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences down in the comment section below -- just remember to keep it civil.
We Need to Talk About Choking.
This topic is going to be a heavy one, guys. Today we are going to be looking into the choking epidemic that isn't just happening in the kink community: it's happening everywhere. Over the years I have had many people tell me stories of how they had a partner or lover suddenly start being rough with them during intimate activity without advanced consent. And it seemed to be an increasing problem. So I looked into the data and... there's some troubling things in there. (please note this video is not about shaming those that enjoy these things consensually)
When BDSM Goes Wrong: The Conversation NO ONE Wants to Have.
I don't really know how to explain the conversation we're going to have in this video, but I will say we will be talking about consent, edgeplay, and CNC. So keep that in mind before deciding to watch. I want to discuss the complications around long term consent, and the differences that arise between consent for individual scenes versus relationships, aftercare, and the risk of harm, and how things can go from good to bad even with informed consent. Anyway, I hope you enjoy watching this and let me know what you think down below!
w to Spot a FAKE Pro Dom or Dominatrix
Hello everyone, we are back here to now finish our ongoing series on how to spot a fake in the kink scene! this time we are going to talk about how to spot a fake pro-domme; either someone that isn't actually in the lifestyle and doing it for a cash grab, or is hiding the fact they don't actually have experience. As well as how to avoid bots, scammers and catfish. Stay safe out there!
Public Play: The RIGHT Way [BDSM]
Following up on a video we did a few weeks ago, let's talk about doing BDSM in public once again. Can it ever be ethical? If so, what does that look like? How can you engage in your headspace, kink relationship, or play, while staying undetected? In this video we'll be discussing some ways you can do kinky stuff without violating boundaries, but still having fun!
What is a Pleasure Dominant? [BDSM]
In today's video we are going over yet another new internet term in the kink world: pleasure dom. This is something I have personally seen explode like crazy on dating apps, as well as TikTok and other social media. So, what it is? Where did it come from? what does it mean? Is it even dominance? Is it a legitimate kind of BDSM? we'll discuss all of this and more in today's video!
Service Submission Archetypes: Finding Your Style [BDSM]
Today we are revisiting one of my favorite concepts in BDSM: service! Many people look at the stereotypes of frilly maids or strict discipline and assume that service isn't something they would ever want to do. Through this video, I hope to show you a variety of ways you can approach service as a concept: from the traditional to the modern. Like all areas of kink this is something that can go so, so beyond what it is stereotyped to be. So if you've been wondering if this is something you want to try or not, but aren't sure how to get started, or you think it might not be for you... watch this video to get some more ideas first.
BDSM 101: Position Training / Slave Positions & Techniques
Alright we are back today with an oldie but a goodie! This is my long, long planned redo of my video on position training aka slave positions. I was never happy with how that one came out so here's my new (and hopefully YouTube friendly) version. So, what is position training? Where does it come from? Why do people do it, and how can you try it for yourself? We'll discuss all of that and more today as well as important modifications and how you can incorporate it into a long-term D/s structure. PS) YouTube doesn't let me put in links to other channels these days, but I highly recommend Morgan Thorne's videos on the subject as well if you are looking for direct examples of how to perform the poses.
Power Exchange vs. Authority Transfer: Different D/s Relationships?
Let's talk about yet another controversial topic! Power exchange or Authority Transfer? Are they the same thing or totally different? How does this connect to D/s or M/s (dominant and submissive, Master and slave) type relationships? Where do they overlap, and where do these terms come from? Why might someone prefer one over the other? And does the distinction even matter? Let's discuss!
Financial Domination: It's Not What You Think.
Today we are going to be discussing the controversial world of financial Domination. Is it all just pay pigs and hopeless submissive men having their money stolen? Or can it go beyond the stereotypes and be a healthy part of any power exchange relationship? Might there even be forms of power exchange that are pretty common, that people don't even consider to be findom, that very much are? Let's talk about it
Dominants: Are They Born That Way, or Made? Can You "Become" a Dom? [BDSM]
Today we are going to cover a controversial topic: can Doms be made, or are people just born that way? Can you learn how to be a Dominant, if it's not something you are naturally drawn to? Let's talk about the myths and misconceptions of being a real Dom, a true Dom, and what makes someone capable of being the leader in a D/s or authority transfer relationship.
0:06 / 33:08 • Intro BDSM 101: Total Power Exchange & 24/7 Relationships
In today's video we'll be exploring the oft-misunderstood world of Total Power Exchange (TPE) and 24/7 dominant / submissive dynamics. What is this, really? where did it come from? who invented these terms, and when? Is this for everyone, and is it just a select, elite group of BDSMers? Is all power exchange 24/7?? how can you get started doing this yourself?? so many questions, so little time! so let's get into answering them...
Sissification, Cross-Dressing & Pegging: An Interview With Sexologist Carli de Ville
Today we'll be having a conversation with Sexologist, podcaster and youtuber Carli de Ville about some of your most highly requested topics. What is the difference between sissification and cross-dressing? Is it all about sex and fetishes, or can it be for relaxation? How can you introduce this topic to your partner, and what are some good ways to dip your toes in as you start exploring? And what about anal training and pegging?? We'll be talking about all of that and more in this discussion.
Submissive Self-Training: A How-to Guide [BDSM]
If you're an s-type in the BDSM community chances are you've heard that a Dominant, Mentor or Protector needs to "train" you in order to be a good or correct submissive. But is this really true? Do subs need to be trained before finding their first 'real' kink relationship based on D/s? And if it is, can you just do it for yourself? In this video we'll be discussing the world of self-training and methods of self-improvement for solo and single submissives. Because as it turns out, all of those Domly Dom Masters telling you that they are the only ones who can make you a real submissive might not be correct.
SECRET SIGNS of Submission? Spontaneous Scenes? | Instagram BDSM Q&A
In today's video we are going to answer YOUR questions! Over on Instagram I asked you to send in your thoughts, queries and problems. I answered some over on Instagram itself so check my highlights for more answers. This video is for the more in-depth questions: from showing your submissive side as a heterosexual man, to how you know if you're asexual and so much more!
BDSM 101: Mummification (advanced bondage)
In today's video we'll be talking about an often overlooked area in kink & bondage: mummification! what is mummification? why are people into it? how can you try it for yourself? how can it be used to enhance the scenes you are already doing & what are the safety concerns you should know about? all of that and more on this BDSM 101 episode!
The TRUTH About Safewords, Aftercare & BDSM
In today's video, we'll be discussing a recent series of viral tweets about the BDSM community. Why do safewords exist? Is BDSM connected to toxic sex culture? Is aftercare basically the honeymoon phase? Is doing scenes a way of trauma bonding? There's been a LOT of discussion around these topics. And while I don't think many of the original folks sharing their thoughts are really open to changing their minds, there is a conversation worth having here for those curious. I have done my best to censor the names of all involved, so PLEASE do not pester anyone involved in this on Twitter or on other social media.
Day Collars are Mainstream Now? egirls, BDSM and Conspiracy Theories
In this video, we discuss some recent events on social media and how it seems like day collars are coming into the public spotlight. Is this a bad thing? What does it mean? Why is it happening? What do Liz Truss and the UK government have to do with all of this? I also talk about my own experience with wearing a collar in public and typical reactions, as well as speculation towards strangers about the meaning of "collars" you see them wearing. hint: don't make assumptions!
Cozy & Romantic BDSM Scene Ideas (All Levels!)
In this video we'll be going over some warm & cozy seasonal scene ideas. Not just for Christmas but for the whole winter season. Whether you're brand new to BDSM or a longtime player this video will have suggestions for you, as we'll be covering everything from sensation to impact play.
Kink vs. BDSM: What's the Difference?
In this video we'll be discussing a surprisingly controversial topic: are kink and BDSM different? Can you call what you are doing BDSM if you aren't part of the community? Has the line between these two things changed over time? Can individual acts be kinky or BDSM in and of themselves? We'll discuss all of that and more in today's video.
Is BDSM All About Power Exchange? | The Allure of Dominance & Submission
Hello everyone! Today's video is a follow-up to last week's conversation about the difference (or not) between kink and BDSM. There were so many wonderful replies and comments on that conversation and I noticed some trends in many of them. Namely: that BDSM is about power exchange, and kink is not. Is that true? Where does this idea come from? Let's talk about it.
0:11 / 24:05 • introduction BDSM 101: Temperature Play (A How-To Guide)
n this video we'll be discussing the misunderstood world of temperature play. Is it really all just for newbies? Or is there room for edge too? Let's discuss! Ice branding tutorial can be found on SubmissiveFeminist (.) com [sorry, no direct links! YouTube strikes and removes them for anything BDSM related]
Topping from the bottom
In this video, I want to discuss the reality of egalitarian BDSM. Is it possible? Is it just being vanilla with extra steps? How does this connect to the age-old concept of "topping from the bottom"? let's talk about it.
BDSM 101: Free Use, Blanket Consent & CNC
n this video, we'll be discussing the concepts of blanket consent, free use, and CNC (consensual non-consent). Please be aware that these are more advanced topics and might be triggering or upsetting for some. Let's remember to respect others' kink preferences and autonomy! If you aren't familiar with the basic concepts of negotiations, safe sane and consensual, and other kink ethical models I recommend watching the listed videos above first and then coming back to this one.
5 Tips for Being a Better Dominant (beginner-friendly!) [BDSM]
In today's video we are going to be discussing how to be a better top or Dominant in BDSM! If you are new to the scene, new to topping, and want to avoid some common mistakes, this is a great place to start. There is not much information out there for brand-new tops and I want to bridge that educational gap.
BDSM 101: Emotional Sadism
Today's video is about uncovering the world of emotional sadism. What is it? How is it different from physical sadism? What motivates an emotional sadist? How can you cope with guilt and shame around your desires? If you're new to sadism, how can you get started with beginner scenes? We'll discuss all of that and more in today's video.
Humiliation, Degradation and Objectification (BDSM)
In this video we'll go over the wide, wonderful world of humiliation, degradation and objectification! How are they the same or different? Where do they overlap? If they are different, what separates them? If you're into emotional sadomasochism, this will be a great conversation. And if you aren't... well, you might discover a few of your kinks might be more emotional than you originally assumed.
Submissive Sadists & Dominant Masochists? A How-To Guide
In today's video we're going to be talking about an oftentimes neglected subject: Dominant masochists and submissive sadists! Are they actually a thing? How do you know if you are one? How can you act out both preferences at once, or navigate this in a relationship? Scene ideas, all of this and more in this video:
The Ultimate Guide to Aftercare
In this video, we'll be discussing the concept of aftercare: what it is, why people do it, common aftercare myths, and how to select the right aftercare routine for yourself. Aftercare is typically found in the BDSM community but is increasingly referenced and understood even in vanilla culture. Unfortunately, a lot of mystery and misconception surrounds aftercare and many folks insist they don't need or don't like aftercare without understanding all the details.
The ONE Lesson Every Kinky Person MUST Learn
PREPARE FOR A RAMBLE! This video is about a somewhat vague topic, centered around creativity, stereotypes, feeling boxed in, labels, and the values of emotions and feelings over route performance, copying what others do, and the idea of the "right" way to do a kink. For as much as we kinksters pride ourselves on being diverse, interesting, and creative, we so oftentimes fall into ruts and forget what makes really good! So, let's talk about it.
Are Dominants Being Manipulated? Unhealthy Submission & The "RIGHT" Motivations For D/s
In this video, we talk about a recent popular post discussing so-called wrong or unhealthy motivations for being a submissive. If you have the wrong motivations for kink, can you really call yourself a submissive in the first place? What makes people think certain motivations are wrong to start with? Is there any truth to the points given? Let's talk about it and so much more in this video.
Pain During Sex is NOT Normal (my story)
Pain During Sex is NOT Normal (my story)
My Aftercare Routine & Essentials | A How-To Guide [
In this video, we discuss the contents of my own personal aftercare kit! What have I found really works for me over the years, what I've decided I don't need anymore, and tips and tricks for how to make your own universal, portable aftercare kit. No matter what kind of play you like, from mild to wild, you'll find some new things that work in here for you!
BDSM 101: Abrasion Play
In this video, we'll be talking about the under-appreciated world of abrasion play. Scratching, poking, prickling and scraping are all wonderful ways to play with masochism and experience extreme sensation but so few people know how to use them! We'll be going over common techniques for abrasion play, why people enjoy it, how you can use it in scenes you already do, and so much more.
The Dangers of Collar Blindness (And How to Avoid It)
In this video we'll talk about the recent phenomena of "collar blindness": when submissives seek out D/s relationships and power exchange for the sake of getting a collar, or stay in bad relationships to stay collared. Where does this come from, how can you avoid it, and what can we do as a community? Let's talk about it. (idea originally from Pup Amp and Race Bannon)
High Protocol BDSM: A Guide to Parties, Training, Relationships and More!
In this video, we'll be demystifying the mysterious world of high protocol. What is this all about? Why are people into it? What is it like going to protocol parties, complete with fine dining and perfectly-set tables? What about other types of protocol events? And how can you get started making high protocol part of your relationship? All of that and more in today's video!
The BEST Dating Tips For Kinky People & Finding BDSM Relationships
In this video, we will be going over my REAL advice for meeting kinky people and having success with BDSM relationships! No nonsense alpha male drivel here, just realistic things you need to know if you want to get the most out of your experience on dating apps, Fetlife, or meeting people in real life.
Types of Masochists in BDSM: What Are You? (Masochism Archetypes)
Today we are doing a follow-up to the popular "Types of Sadist" video I made last year. This one is all about different types of masochists, how to figure out which type (or types!) you are, how that can change the kind of play you do, and how to find partners that suit your style.
BDSM as a SINGLE Person: The Benefits of Exploring Kink While Solo
Kink is oftentimes discussed as a strictly relationship-based activity. Be that the relationship between a pro domme and a client or the dynamics shown in romance novels or 50 Shades. It can really seem like in order to explore kink, you MUST have a partner! But you don't actually. And in fact, exploring BDSM on your own at first can have a number of advantages. You may decide you want to get used to the community before finding a partner, or choose to spend your entire time in the scene as a consciously single pringle. Whatever path you choose is wonderful, and you deserve to have some information about how to make that experience better... because how CAN you be single in the scene? What does that look like? What activities or parties can you go to? We'll be talking about all of that and more here today.
How to Be a Human Pet | Human Petplay [BDSM]
In this video we'll be talking about the experience of human pets. Did you know you can do petplay without having to act like a dog, cat, or pony? It's true! Human pets are an under represented approach to petplay and one that is both enjoyable and unique. We'll discuss what makes this approach so appealing and how you can try it for yourself in today's video.
Should You "Break" Your Submissive? [BDSM]
In this video, we'll be discussing a common saying within some BDSM circles: that you need to "break" a submissive partner, or that breaking is a desirable process that produces a better, more loyal submissive partner. Is this true? What really is "breaking" anyway? where does this idea come from? and why is it so popular? we'll be talking about all of this and more today!
What People get WRONG About Polyamory | "Polyamory Never Lasts"?
In this video, we'll be talking more about polyamory. One of the common refrains about non-monogamy that you'll hear is that "polyamory doesn't last"; that it's a temporary thing that you grow out of with maturity. But is that true? How long do polyam relationships last? What about monogamous ones? How many relationships DO polyam people tend to have? We'll be discussing all of that and more in today's video. Science and research included!
An App For Power Exchange? | Testing "Obedience" (2023)
An App For Power Exchange? | Testing "Obedience" (2023)
THIS is the Problem With CNC (Consensual Non-Consent)
THIS is the Problem With CNC (Consensual Non-Consent)
Kinks I've Changed My Mind About (50 shades was ok actually??)
veryone knows that when you enter into the kink community you have to keep your opinions about everything the same forever! Wait... no you don't. In this video I'll be talking about why and how my opinions have changed on certain things, from specific kinks I engage in to pop culture topics.
Addressing Topping From The Bottom: Warning Signs & Dangers
Topping from the bottom: it's a popular phrase in the kink community. Right up there with other infamous refrains like "submissives have all the power"! But is it actually a thing? Why do we care so much about it? And how do we deal with it if we're experiencing it? We'll be talking about all of that and more here today.
QUIET Scenes: Privacy and Staying Discreet During BDSM Play
While it would be nice to always have access to our own private dungeon spaces, or at least have a great public play space nearby we can use whenever we want, that’s not the case for most people! Many of us have roommates, apartments with paper-thin walls, nosy neighbors, or landlords instead. So how can you have a great BDSM scene while not waking up everyone in the neighborhood, or at least not arousing suspicion? Let's talk about it.
NLevels of Sexuality in Kink: Is BDSM All About Sex?ew video
f you've been in the community for a while, you've likely heard the debates around kink being sexual or non-sexual. For the most part, we've decided that how sexual kink can be is an individual experience. But what does it mean, exactly, for kink to be sexual? In this video, I want to discuss the various levels at which people relate to kink and their sexuality. No way of relating is superior to any other, it's about understanding the nuances to facilitate conversation.
"SUBMISSIVES ARE LESS THAN!": Responding to Hate Comments (and learning)
I've had a long career here on youtube dot com. In that time, people have shared some pretty strong opinions with me! Some rational, and some decidedly less so. Let's laugh along and learn together as we react to some of my favorite recent comments, courtesy of the haters. 🙂
Age Gaps: Are They Always Problematic? | Red & GREEN Flags to Look For
Age gap relationships: love them or hate them, everyone has an opinion about them! Are age gaps always as problematic as people on the internet believe? Is there really a way to make them healthy, or tell whether or not they'll end up in a bad place from the start? And why are they so common in BDSM anyway? We'll talk about all of this and more in today's video, from the perspective of someone who has been in, and is currently in, multiple age gap relationships as the younger partner.
Enjoyment is NOT Consent: A Complicated Conversation About Pleasure
In this video, we're going to have a complicated conversation about consent, enjoyment, and pleasure, and how these things often get unfairly conflated. Can you consent if you don't like something? Does enjoying something mean you gave consent? The answer is more involved than you might expect. Features a post from Reddit that has been anonymized.
Beyond Subspace: Petspace, Ropespace, Littlespace & More [BDSM]
In this video, we'll be talking about 3 unique forms of subspace that not many people know about: ropespace, petspace, and littlespace. How are these forms of subspace different from the main one discussed in the broader BDSM community? How can they be achieved? And what unique challenges and benefits do they provide? Let's discuss.
Kink ISN'T Therapy: Drawing the Line Between Support & Enmeshment [BDSM]
Have you heard of the phrase "kink isn't therapy but it can be therapeutic"? It's been commonly said in BDSM spaces for years now, but how true is it? And what about the folks who do cross the line between merely being supportive into full-on therapy? How can you tell if you've done that in your relationship? And is this always a bad thing? Let's talk about it.
Dominant Training in BDSM: The BEST Tips & Techniques
In this video we'll be talking about the myths and reality of training as a Dominant in BDSM. Do you really need to spend a year as a submissive? What about finding a mentor? What skills are actually worth learning? Let's talk about it.
Overcoming Guilt and Shame About Your Kinks, Sexuality and Beyond
In this video we'll be exploring how to deal with guilt and shame. It's very common for folks to struggle with accepting their desires, sometimes to the point that they forgo exploring kink at all. So let's talk about ways to work through unjustified guilt and shame, what role gender can play in this experience, and so much more.
The Key To Discipline: Exploring the Hidden "D" in BDSM
In this video, we'll be discussing everything you've wanted to know about discipline! Discipline is the hidden "D" in BDSM and rarely gets the attention it deserves. So what exactly is discipline? How is it different from, and how can it complement, everything from power exchange to bratting? Let's talk about it.
Covert Kink: How to Do BDSM Without a Trace (no bruises!)
ome folks love bruises and marks from scenes, and just can't get enough! But for others, marks are undesirable. What do you do then? Is pain play off the table? Well, it might not be! Watch this video to find out more.
This Community Has a Cheater Problem (& it's not the polyamory)
Polyamory continues to be a controversial topic online. Recently, accusations against a well-known DM and content creator, Gabe Hicks, came out. His lies about his relationships not only damaged the people he lied to but the trust of the community and the reputation of polyamory on the whole. Let's talk about it.
'Polyamorous' People PLEASE Stop Doing This.
In this video we'll be talking about one of the big things that actually bothers me about so-called fellow "polyamorous" people. Unfortunately, it seems to have become a term that folks re quite confused about, and many are now excusing their behavior under the guise that it's "just polyamory". Thus it's perfectly normal and beyond critique. I can't entirely agree. Let's talk about it.
Fixing Your Dead Bedroom (or Dungeon): Advice for Vanilla & Kinky Relationships
Dry spells and dead bedrooms don't have to end your relationship! Whether you're dealing with typical vanilla issues, or if it's your dungeon that has been collecting cobwebs lately, this video has solutions for you. Every relationship has its ups and downs, so learn how to weather them before it becomes a major issue. This video focuses on kink relationships, whether they are bedroom-focused or not, but the advice applies to relationships of all styles.
The Problem with "Risk-Aware" Consensual Kink
In this video, we discuss the history and principles of two guiding philosophies of kink: SSC and RACK. Over the last several decades these have grown into popular adages that are more or less a required part of any intro-level kink discussion. But are they really that helpful? RACK is often touted as a superior and more informed version of SSC, but doesn't it also have its own flaws? Let's discuss what those flaws are, as well as why they happen.
Help my Co worker wont stop talking about kink
This video is a reaction to an article titled, "Help! My DEI Trainer Won’t Stop Talking About Kink!"; I changed the title slightly to avoid attracting attention from the wrong side of the internet 🙂 But join me anyway as we talk about the issue, discuss the better ways to approach kink around the workplace, and facepalm over it all.
Monter kinks
Was your first celebrity crush on one of the characters in Twilight? Did you read Blood & Chocolate until the pages fell apart? Does the idea of your partner growling and pinning you to a wall make you feel some type of way? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have a monster kink! What is that exactly? Watch to find out more...
Growing your D/s
This video will explore the concept of differentiation within the 4 steps of relationship development and how that applies to kink relationships. We'll also talk about power exchange and the pressure to conform to power exchange norms and how to escape from that loop in order to create a power exchange relationship that works for YOU.
Explaining Locktober & Chastity with Sexologist Carli de Ville
Explaining Locktober & Chastity with Sexologist Carli de Ville
DIY Bondage Ideas YOU Can Use!
Let's talk DIY BONDAGE! While shibari is beautiful, it's often confusing and time consuming to learn. This leads many people to skip bondage altogether which is a shame. So let's talk about 10 ways you can explore bondage without needing rope, and understand why bondage can be so enjoyable.
How to be a human pet
n this video we'll be talking about the experience of human pets. Did you know you can do petplay without having to act like a dog, cat, or pony? It's true! Human pets are an under represented approach to petplay and one that is both enjoyable and unique. We'll discuss what makes this approach so appealing and how you can try it for yourself in today's video.
Care and keeping of your Dominant
In this video, we'll be discussing the care and keeping of your Dominant! Yes, service is great, but there is so much more you can do to help your Dominant feel seen and heard in your relationship. Because rewards aren't just for submissives!
The Edgiest kinks
The Top 5 Edgiest Kinks: The TRUTH about blood, branding, and more
The Edgiest Kinks: Explaining Fire, Choking, Slapping & MORE pt. 2 [BDSM]
'Sexual choking is now so common that many young people don’t think it even requires consent. That’s a problem' by Chanel Contos from The Guardian
Fear Play
In this video, we'll be discussing a popular area of emotional sadomasochism: fearplay! Some folks love it, and other people hate it. But why do people enjoy playing with fear? Why would you want to feel scared during a scene or with your partner? And how can you work to cultivate a feeling of fear and suspense during your scenes? All of that and more in today's video!
Vanilla Dominant
Today we are deep-diving into the world of "vanilla" dominants. Are they a real thing? Well, maybe. Let's see if we can discover the origin of vanilla dominants, what they are, and how this term suddenly gained popularity.
Improve Your Power Exchange with These 4 Steps!
This video will explore the concept of differentiation within the 4 steps of relationship development and how that applies to kink relationships. We'll also talk about power exchange and the pressure to conform to power exchange norms and how to escape from that loop in order to create a power exchange relationship that works for YOU.
Religious Roleplay
Religious Roleplay
Ownership Marks & Collar Alternatives
Everyone loves collars, right? From online roleplayers to fanfiction to the real-life community, people love talking about collars. Wearing them, choosing them, being 'good enough' to receive one. But collars aren't all they're cracked up to be. Are they really that secretive? Are they really that personal or unique? Not always. Sometimes we want more than what we can get from a simple collar, or we'd like something different for a variety of reasons. This video discusses some of those alternatives and the next steps to take if one of them sounds right to yo
Pet play: Have you heard of Omegaverse? Wondering what the heck ABO is or what it stands for? In this video, we'll be exploring the unique kink perspective on Alpha/Beta/Omega roleplay and pack dynamics!Â
The 10 TOP Newbie Sub Mistakes in BDSM (and how to avoid them)
In this video, we'll be going over the top mistakes new submissives make when entering the BDSM community. If you're new, or you have a partner who is, take heed of this list so you can avoid making the same errors so many of us have!
5 Tips for Being a Better Dominant (beginner-friendly!)
In today's video we are going to be discussing how to be a better top or Dominant in BDSM! If you are new to the scene, new to topping, and want to avoid some common mistakes, this is a great place to start. There is not much information out there for brand-new tops and I want to bridge that educational gap.
How to be a better submissive
Maybe you are just getting started in your BDSM journey. Maybe you have 20 years of D/s experience and want to take things to the next level. Or maybe, you're just looking for tips on how to be better in your service with your play partners. No matter the reason, there are all things us s-types can do to improve out place in the dynamic(s) we have, and to better ourselves.
Protocols
The Secrets of Rituals and Protocol in BDSM (better contracts!)
So! After many requests on one of my previous videos, here is finally a video on watersports! This is not meant to be a complete tutorial but is a helpful introductory guide to the subject in case you are curious. This is a form of edgeplay for many people so be sure to talk about it with your partner completely before participating. Also note that many dungeons do not allow this form of play. That being said this is a very hot kink / fetish for people who like humiliation, degrading others, and messy play. More information can be found at these links:
uckily, petplay (no matter what kind of pet you are) offers a ton of variety in the types of scenes and the types of toys you can use from play. This ranges from treats and toys all the way to paw mitts, "cones of shame" and more!
So, what is Edgeplay? what defines it, what do people mean they say it, and how the heck do you know what edgeplay means to you? I'll go over all of this and more in this video!
After much delay, behold: the ultimate guide to Subspace. What is it? How do you get there? What types of play are associated with subspace? What does it feel like? What happens after you leave subspace? If it's a question you have ever had about subspace, we'll be covering it here.
It's time for another 101 video! Of course, I'm the only person who could turn this type of discussion into a 25 minute lecture. But as it turns out, there is a LOT to talk about in the world of gags -- dozens of types, safety and medical considerations, how to use them in scenes, which types are safe for newbies, even how long you can wear them for. If you love gags, or are just curious about trying one, stick around and we'll dive right in.
And we are back again today with another 101 video! We'll be diving deep into the world of blindfolds and hoods. If you have ever seen a bdsm themed movie (hint: 50 shades, 9 1/2 weeks) you've probably seen a blindfold. They are everywhere at sex shops and bachelorette parties too. But for what can often seem to be a very safe, easy way to start playing with kink in the bedroom there is more to them than meets the eye! Pun intended. If you have ever wanted to know about how to use one, what they feel like, where to buy them, what the best styles are and more this is the video for you. And for those who are looking for a bit of a deeper journey we'll also be discussing the world of hoods in this video as well. Perfect for exploring with roleplay, different headspaces and letting go of your inhibitions.
Oh, handcuffs. The wonderful, ubiquitous sign of kink that you are -- so taboo, yet somehow "safe" enough for book covers, bachelorette parties and women's magazines. In today's video I want to dig into the reality of handcuffs -- what they are, how to use them, safety tips, comfort, different types, and how to tell cheap cuffs from quality ones. Handcuffs are certainly much more than meets the eye!
All About Ponyplay: An Interview with Pony Tromper
While we've spent a lot of time on this channel covering the world of puppyplay, and pet play in general, I've not been able to cover the mysterious world of pony play before. Big thanks to Pony Tromper who kindly gave his time to talk to me about what ponyplay is, how it got started, the community over time, gear, play ideas, and more! So if you've been curious about ponyplay before this is a great conversation to listen to before you get started.
Yes, we're back on this wagon again everyone! Red flags! In previous videos I have spent a lot of time discussing how to evaluate play partners and people on the internet... but it seems a lot of the danger in the community also runs not just with the people at events but the people making the events themselves. So here is an expanded list of things I think you should look out for and keep in mind during your kink journey. Stay safe!
BDSM Toys From HOME DEPOT? | DIY & Affordable Kink Gear
For YEARS ya'll have been requesting a video on affordable, cheap, easy, beginner-friendly, DIY kink toys. And finally here is your answer! What can you get on a trip to Home Depot aka Kink Depot? What are some good toys to start with -- and how can you use them in scenes? Whether you are into roleplay, petplay, impact, spanking, bondage or sensory deprivation there are toys in this list for you. Looking for thuddy impact? What about sting? Curious to try out something weird and wonderful? We got you.
Even if you've only been barely exposed to the kink community, chances are you know about floggers, paddles, and the like. And those can be lovely to play with but they are expensive! Do you need those to do BDSM? Absolutely not. So let's talk about some fantastic, unique DIY options you can use for kink instead. Whether you're brand-new to kink and just starting with a budget, or you're an experienced kinkster looking to wow (or confuse) your play partners, there's something for you on this list!
EASY Kink DIY Toys! | Beginner Friendly BDSM at Home
When life gives you lemons, you take those lemons, some ice and a kitchen spoon and have yourself a little bdsm scene. 😉 Today we are going to be talking about simple DIY BDSM gear you can find around the house! In lockdown and want to get started with kink? Trying to cope with not having a dungeon? This video is for you. Whether you are into roleplay, petplay, impact, spanking, bondage or sensory deprivation chances are you'll find something that works!
BIG DISCLAIMER AGAIN: THIS VIDEO DOES NOT SUPPORT ANY SUPPOSED MEDICAL BENEFITS ASSOCIATED WITH CUPPING. This video is discussing cupping as a fun, relaxing experience between consenting adults and is not intended as a guide or anything in support of its use as alternative / holistic medicine. But with that in mind... what the heckin' heck is cupping? What about fire cupping, or even blood cupping? Why do people like this? What does this have to do with the Olympic men's swimming team? How can you do this in a kink setting? If you've ever been curious how to get consistent marks, how you can start doing cupping for yourself, or better understand a rather unusual form of play you are in the right place.
We all know by now that there are red flags to look for in BDSM. How to figure out if someone is who they say there are, how to avoid potentially abusive people. But what about the community itself? How do you know if an event or party is safe, or the right one for you? Let's discuss.
Ah, the touch of a feather. A cool cube of ice running down your back. Sensation play is at once a classic, and also an often forgotten, area of BDSM play. It's often dismissed as being soft stuff for newbies, but is that really the case? Can sensation play be suitable for more advanced players as well? And if it interests you, how can you get started? Let's discuss.
Being tied down, earplugs in, blindfold on, lost in a world someone is creating in your head. Sensory deprivation is an often misunderstood area of BDSM, often reserved for the butt of shock value jokes in comedy series, with men in gimp masks and sleepsacks. But what is sensory deprivation really about? Is it safe for newbies to kink, or is better for more advanced players? What ways can you use this in BDSM? Let's discuss.
What's up with crying fetishes? How can you make someone cry during a scene? Why are people into stuff like this? Well, if you've been curious about dacryphilia this is the video for you!
So, you've found someone you want to play with. You've planned the best scene ever. Play went awesome! But now what? How can you end a scene with grace? How do you know when to wrap things up? What if there's roleplay? And aftercare? We'll go over a ton of options in today's video.
Annnnd we're back with another BDSM 101 video! Today we're talking about the wide world of bodypainting. What is it, how to do it safely, starter ideas for scenes, as well as how to mix it into play you already enjoy for more advanced kinksters
Annnnd we're back with another BDSM 101 video! Today we're talking about the wide world of body writing. What is it, how to do it safely, starter ideas for scenes, as well as how to mix it into play you already enjoy for more advanced kinksters. Hope you enjoy, and remember part 2 where we discuss body painting will be out soon.
hello everyone! today we are going to talk about limits: soft limits, hard limits, why you might want to change your limits, or why someone might want to change your limits for you... the good, the bad, the ugly, and how to navigate it all the right away. And the pitfalls to avoid. So let's talk about it!
somehow this has nothing to do with figs... confusing I know. But be confused no longer! In this video we'll be going over everything figging: where it comes from, how to use it in scenes, troubleshooting problems and safety issues, common motivations for figging, how it feels and how to try it for yourself!
Oh boy, this is going to be a personal one. Let's talk about ghosting. What is it, how to deal with it, move past it and grow from it. If you are currently going through ghosting, just know that you are not alone. And while it is painful, you WILL be okay. I believe in you.
In this video we'll be discussing a long-asked question: where exactly on the body can you do BDSM? Most people ask this question in relation to impact play and spanking, and while we will be focusing on that in this video we'll be going beyond that to show you how you can incorporate (just about) the whole body into kink. Ever wondered what to do with the biceps? Can you do anything with the genitals? Which is the best spot on the butt for a good spanking? Let's find out!
Oh boy, it's time for another one of my world-famous super serious conversations! Today we are going to be discussing the toxic side of long-term D/s relationships. While we know that power exchange can be a beautiful thing that lifts people up, how do we deal with some of the potential downsides? Can they be avoided, are there solutions? Or are submissives doomed to a life of low self-esteem and dependence on their partners? Let's discuss.
Alright everyone, after FOUR years we are finally revisiting an incredibly popular topic: how to introduce a partner to kink, the right way. Please note this video is designed for those who want to add kink to an existing vanilla relationship, not for those looking for a kinky partner in the wild. Also, be aware these are just ideas on how to proceed with the conversation! I cannot predict how your partner will react and you know your own relationship and partner best. Take what is helpful from this video and leave the rest. Not everything I say here will work for everyone and these techniques are not a guarantee that your partner will be into kink! Best of luck to all of you starting down this path for the first tim
Should Dominants be Trained... as Submissives? [BDSM]
Today we have a fun little combination of history lesson, myth busting and opinion video. Do Dominants have to train as submissives, or even slaves, first before they can take on that title? Where does this idea come from -- and is it useful or not? Is there a potential for abuse or problems here? Is this something we should continue to do, or is it better left in the past? Let's discuss.
Do Submissives Have a Right to Privacy? | Transparency, Abuse and Kink Relationships
FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY. All of my videos are intended to provide safety information for adults that choose to engage in these activities as well as combat stereotypes and misinformation. In addition these videos may contain educational commentary on queer issues, pop culture, and news items. No portion of my content is meant to be used for gratification, nor is it intentionally salacious. All content used falls within fair use guidelines for education and commentary purposes.
EVE Online eveonline.com Play free Sponsored 1 of 2 1:31 eveonline.com Skip 0:18 / 1:54 It's OKAY to Say NO to Kink!
Hey everyone! we're back again with another video, this time coming from the perspective of... is it really okay to not be into kinky sex? With the recent popularity of "kinkier" sex in mainstream pornography, the lines between vanilla, bdsm, and "something inbetween" is getting blurred. And unfortunately it seems the standards we have for play and communication aren't being brought along, just the activities. So let's talk about being true to yourself, social pressure, the stigma of being "vanilla" and what happens when the non-kink world tries to apply it's consent framework to our activities.
Keep in mind that during this video, I am referring to a broader spectrum of behavior besides just outright pretending to be submissive. Rather, there is a range of people that do not understand how to approach submission from a genuine, healthy framework and treat their Doms like fantasy objects there to fulfill their needs and not much else. It's complicated, so let's talk about it!
Dealing with Failure in Relationships and the BDSM CommunityNew video
let's have a conversation today about dealing with failure. How you can navigate managing your own expectations versus your Dominant's, your internal expectations versus that of the community, and how we can make everything more inclusive for new people, and separating minor failures from big mistakes. It's a complicated one so let's get into it!
Sponsored · Chrome is built to perform google.com Download Skip Bloodplay: Stigma, Fear and Play on the Edge
major content warning for this one, all things related to blood, piercings, and so on including self play. Please proceed with caution, but I encourage you to watch this one! If you've been feeling squicked by play with blood, don't understand why people would like it, or think it's all just strict, extreme medical play I think you should try to stay with it. This is NOT an instructional video, but IS intended for those dealing with stigma and overcoming stereotypes and fear. PLEASE do not attempt play like what is mentioned within without robust in-person instruction!
Your Guide To BDSM Events & Parties: Dungeons, Munches and More!
hello everyone! in today's video we're going to be talking all about events and parties -- what types of parties there are, how to find them, how to tell a good venue from a bad venue and connect with people you mesh with. Whether you're an experienced player coming back, or a new person trying things out for the first time this video is for you! Don't know what a munch is? Never heard of a taster event? Don't worry because we'll cover all of that as well.
"Doormat" Submissives, Self Esteem And Power Exchange
Today we're going to talk about a favorite subject on this channel: self esteem, submission and what it means to be a "doormat" submissive, courtesy of a not-very-good-book I recently read. Can you be submissive if you don't have self-esteem? What does that look like? Where are the lines between the two? Do all s-types struggle with their self image? Let's discuss!
Dom Disillusionment Syndrome: Or, Is It Your Expectations?
Last week I came across an interesting post from the one and only Race Bannon on a little know subject called "Dom Disillusionment Syndrome"; what happens when fantasy and reality collide in your relationship? What do you do when your partner isn't who you thought, or dreamed they would be? Whats the difference between a fake Dom, and a Dom that's really just a human being that makes mistakes? Let's discuss.
Are you ready for some ladysplaining about masculinity and submission? Because that's what this video is! Let's talk about stereotypes, masculine ideals, and conforming to social pressure. As well as the motivations behind submission for men, and the ways they do or don't conform to stereotypes, and the ways so-called traditional masculinity CAN go hand-in-hand with submission if you want it to. Please let me know your thoughts down in the comment section below.
The Secrets of Pain Tolerance & Developing Masochism [BDSM]
Hello everyone! today we are going into one of my favorite nerdy science subjects: pain tolerance! I'll try to keep the science-talk to a minimum, but today I'd like to do some myth-busting around pain. Is it just "getting numb", and you need to "deaden your nerves" to take more pain? what the heck is leatherbutt? How does pain tolerance work, and change? how can you change YOUR pain tolerance? And why the heck is all of this such a big deal in the first place? Let's discuss!
This video is all about substance usage in the BDSM community. Some people feel like they need a little liquid courage to do kinky things. Other people can't imagine why anyone would want to do this sober. But is there any truth to that? What are BDSM parties like? Is drinking or other substances commonplace? We'll also talk about this impacts consent, safety, how things feel, and how to evaluate the risks of doing kinky stuff while in a mind-altered state. Stay safe everyone!
Hello everyone! Today we are going to be diving into a contentious subject: soft dominance aka gentle dominance. Is it a real thing? is it used in the real life community? How is it different from other types of domination, like caregiving, service topping or gentle femdom? Where did the term come from? And could it even potentially be harmful or promote false stereotypes? We'll be discussing all of that and more in this video! I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences down in the comment section below -- just remember to keep it civil.
This topic is going to be a heavy one, guys. Today we are going to be looking into the choking epidemic that isn't just happening in the kink community: it's happening everywhere. Over the years I have had many people tell me stories of how they had a partner or lover suddenly start being rough with them during intimate activity without advanced consent. And it seemed to be an increasing problem. So I looked into the data and... there's some troubling things in there. (please note this video is not about shaming those that enjoy these things consensually)
When BDSM Goes Wrong: The Conversation NO ONE Wants to Have.
I don't really know how to explain the conversation we're going to have in this video, but I will say we will be talking about consent, edgeplay, and CNC. So keep that in mind before deciding to watch. I want to discuss the complications around long term consent, and the differences that arise between consent for individual scenes versus relationships, aftercare, and the risk of harm, and how things can go from good to bad even with informed consent. Anyway, I hope you enjoy watching this and let me know what you think down below!
Hello everyone, we are back here to now finish our ongoing series on how to spot a fake in the kink scene! this time we are going to talk about how to spot a fake pro-domme; either someone that isn't actually in the lifestyle and doing it for a cash grab, or is hiding the fact they don't actually have experience. As well as how to avoid bots, scammers and catfish. Stay safe out there!
Following up on a video we did a few weeks ago, let's talk about doing BDSM in public once again. Can it ever be ethical? If so, what does that look like? How can you engage in your headspace, kink relationship, or play, while staying undetected? In this video we'll be discussing some ways you can do kinky stuff without violating boundaries, but still having fun!
In today's video we are going over yet another new internet term in the kink world: pleasure dom. This is something I have personally seen explode like crazy on dating apps, as well as TikTok and other social media. So, what it is? Where did it come from? what does it mean? Is it even dominance? Is it a legitimate kind of BDSM? we'll discuss all of this and more in today's video!
Service Submission Archetypes: Finding Your Style [BDSM]
Today we are revisiting one of my favorite concepts in BDSM: service! Many people look at the stereotypes of frilly maids or strict discipline and assume that service isn't something they would ever want to do. Through this video, I hope to show you a variety of ways you can approach service as a concept: from the traditional to the modern. Like all areas of kink this is something that can go so, so beyond what it is stereotyped to be. So if you've been wondering if this is something you want to try or not, but aren't sure how to get started, or you think it might not be for you... watch this video to get some more ideas first.
BDSM 101: Position Training / Slave Positions & Techniques
Alright we are back today with an oldie but a goodie! This is my long, long planned redo of my video on position training aka slave positions. I was never happy with how that one came out so here's my new (and hopefully YouTube friendly) version. So, what is position training? Where does it come from? Why do people do it, and how can you try it for yourself? We'll discuss all of that and more today as well as important modifications and how you can incorporate it into a long-term D/s structure. PS) YouTube doesn't let me put in links to other channels these days, but I highly recommend Morgan Thorne's videos on the subject as well if you are looking for direct examples of how to perform the poses.
Power Exchange vs. Authority Transfer: Different D/s Relationships?
Let's talk about yet another controversial topic! Power exchange or Authority Transfer? Are they the same thing or totally different? How does this connect to D/s or M/s (dominant and submissive, Master and slave) type relationships? Where do they overlap, and where do these terms come from? Why might someone prefer one over the other? And does the distinction even matter? Let's discuss!
Today we are going to be discussing the controversial world of financial Domination. Is it all just pay pigs and hopeless submissive men having their money stolen? Or can it go beyond the stereotypes and be a healthy part of any power exchange relationship? Might there even be forms of power exchange that are pretty common, that people don't even consider to be findom, that very much are? Let's talk about it
Dominants: Are They Born That Way, or Made? Can You "Become" a Dom? [BDSM]
Today we are going to cover a controversial topic: can Doms be made, or are people just born that way? Can you learn how to be a Dominant, if it's not something you are naturally drawn to? Let's talk about the myths and misconceptions of being a real Dom, a true Dom, and what makes someone capable of being the leader in a D/s or authority transfer relationship.
0:06 / 33:08 • Intro BDSM 101: Total Power Exchange & 24/7 Relationships
In today's video we'll be exploring the oft-misunderstood world of Total Power Exchange (TPE) and 24/7 dominant / submissive dynamics. What is this, really? where did it come from? who invented these terms, and when? Is this for everyone, and is it just a select, elite group of BDSMers? Is all power exchange 24/7?? how can you get started doing this yourself?? so many questions, so little time! so let's get into answering them...
Sissification, Cross-Dressing & Pegging: An Interview With Sexologist Carli de Ville
Today we'll be having a conversation with Sexologist, podcaster and youtuber Carli de Ville about some of your most highly requested topics. What is the difference between sissification and cross-dressing? Is it all about sex and fetishes, or can it be for relaxation? How can you introduce this topic to your partner, and what are some good ways to dip your toes in as you start exploring? And what about anal training and pegging?? We'll be talking about all of that and more in this discussion.
If you're an s-type in the BDSM community chances are you've heard that a Dominant, Mentor or Protector needs to "train" you in order to be a good or correct submissive. But is this really true? Do subs need to be trained before finding their first 'real' kink relationship based on D/s? And if it is, can you just do it for yourself? In this video we'll be discussing the world of self-training and methods of self-improvement for solo and single submissives. Because as it turns out, all of those Domly Dom Masters telling you that they are the only ones who can make you a real submissive might not be correct.
SECRET SIGNS of Submission? Spontaneous Scenes? | Instagram BDSM Q&A
In today's video we are going to answer YOUR questions! Over on Instagram I asked you to send in your thoughts, queries and problems. I answered some over on Instagram itself so check my highlights for more answers. This video is for the more in-depth questions: from showing your submissive side as a heterosexual man, to how you know if you're asexual and so much more!
In today's video we'll be talking about an often overlooked area in kink & bondage: mummification! what is mummification? why are people into it? how can you try it for yourself? how can it be used to enhance the scenes you are already doing & what are the safety concerns you should know about? all of that and more on this BDSM 101 episode!
In today's video, we'll be discussing a recent series of viral tweets about the BDSM community. Why do safewords exist? Is BDSM connected to toxic sex culture? Is aftercare basically the honeymoon phase? Is doing scenes a way of trauma bonding? There's been a LOT of discussion around these topics. And while I don't think many of the original folks sharing their thoughts are really open to changing their minds, there is a conversation worth having here for those curious. I have done my best to censor the names of all involved, so PLEASE do not pester anyone involved in this on Twitter or on other social media.
Day Collars are Mainstream Now? egirls, BDSM and Conspiracy Theories
In this video, we discuss some recent events on social media and how it seems like day collars are coming into the public spotlight. Is this a bad thing? What does it mean? Why is it happening? What do Liz Truss and the UK government have to do with all of this? I also talk about my own experience with wearing a collar in public and typical reactions, as well as speculation towards strangers about the meaning of "collars" you see them wearing. hint: don't make assumptions!
In this video we'll be going over some warm & cozy seasonal scene ideas. Not just for Christmas but for the whole winter season. Whether you're brand new to BDSM or a longtime player this video will have suggestions for you, as we'll be covering everything from sensation to impact play.
In this video we'll be discussing a surprisingly controversial topic: are kink and BDSM different? Can you call what you are doing BDSM if you aren't part of the community? Has the line between these two things changed over time? Can individual acts be kinky or BDSM in and of themselves? We'll discuss all of that and more in today's video.
Is BDSM All About Power Exchange? | The Allure of Dominance & Submission
Hello everyone! Today's video is a follow-up to last week's conversation about the difference (or not) between kink and BDSM. There were so many wonderful replies and comments on that conversation and I noticed some trends in many of them. Namely: that BDSM is about power exchange, and kink is not. Is that true? Where does this idea come from? Let's talk about it.
0:11 / 24:05 • introduction BDSM 101: Temperature Play (A How-To Guide)
n this video we'll be discussing the misunderstood world of temperature play. Is it really all just for newbies? Or is there room for edge too? Let's discuss! Ice branding tutorial can be found on SubmissiveFeminist (.) com [sorry, no direct links! YouTube strikes and removes them for anything BDSM related]
In this video, I want to discuss the reality of egalitarian BDSM. Is it possible? Is it just being vanilla with extra steps? How does this connect to the age-old concept of "topping from the bottom"? let's talk about it.
n this video, we'll be discussing the concepts of blanket consent, free use, and CNC (consensual non-consent). Please be aware that these are more advanced topics and might be triggering or upsetting for some. Let's remember to respect others' kink preferences and autonomy! If you aren't familiar with the basic concepts of negotiations, safe sane and consensual, and other kink ethical models I recommend watching the listed videos above first and then coming back to this one.
5 Tips for Being a Better Dominant (beginner-friendly!) [BDSM]
In today's video we are going to be discussing how to be a better top or Dominant in BDSM! If you are new to the scene, new to topping, and want to avoid some common mistakes, this is a great place to start. There is not much information out there for brand-new tops and I want to bridge that educational gap.
Today's video is about uncovering the world of emotional sadism. What is it? How is it different from physical sadism? What motivates an emotional sadist? How can you cope with guilt and shame around your desires? If you're new to sadism, how can you get started with beginner scenes? We'll discuss all of that and more in today's video.
Humiliation, Degradation and Objectification (BDSM)
In this video we'll go over the wide, wonderful world of humiliation, degradation and objectification! How are they the same or different? Where do they overlap? If they are different, what separates them? If you're into emotional sadomasochism, this will be a great conversation. And if you aren't... well, you might discover a few of your kinks might be more emotional than you originally assumed.
Submissive Sadists & Dominant Masochists? A How-To Guide
In today's video we're going to be talking about an oftentimes neglected subject: Dominant masochists and submissive sadists! Are they actually a thing? How do you know if you are one? How can you act out both preferences at once, or navigate this in a relationship? Scene ideas, all of this and more in this video:
In this video, we'll be discussing the concept of aftercare: what it is, why people do it, common aftercare myths, and how to select the right aftercare routine for yourself. Aftercare is typically found in the BDSM community but is increasingly referenced and understood even in vanilla culture. Unfortunately, a lot of mystery and misconception surrounds aftercare and many folks insist they don't need or don't like aftercare without understanding all the details.
PREPARE FOR A RAMBLE! This video is about a somewhat vague topic, centered around creativity, stereotypes, feeling boxed in, labels, and the values of emotions and feelings over route performance, copying what others do, and the idea of the "right" way to do a kink. For as much as we kinksters pride ourselves on being diverse, interesting, and creative, we so oftentimes fall into ruts and forget what makes really good! So, let's talk about it.
Are Dominants Being Manipulated? Unhealthy Submission & The "RIGHT" Motivations For D/s
In this video, we talk about a recent popular post discussing so-called wrong or unhealthy motivations for being a submissive. If you have the wrong motivations for kink, can you really call yourself a submissive in the first place? What makes people think certain motivations are wrong to start with? Is there any truth to the points given? Let's talk about it and so much more in this video.
My Aftercare Routine & Essentials | A How-To Guide [
In this video, we discuss the contents of my own personal aftercare kit! What have I found really works for me over the years, what I've decided I don't need anymore, and tips and tricks for how to make your own universal, portable aftercare kit. No matter what kind of play you like, from mild to wild, you'll find some new things that work in here for you!
In this video, we'll be talking about the under-appreciated world of abrasion play. Scratching, poking, prickling and scraping are all wonderful ways to play with masochism and experience extreme sensation but so few people know how to use them! We'll be going over common techniques for abrasion play, why people enjoy it, how you can use it in scenes you already do, and so much more.
The Dangers of Collar Blindness (And How to Avoid It)
In this video we'll talk about the recent phenomena of "collar blindness": when submissives seek out D/s relationships and power exchange for the sake of getting a collar, or stay in bad relationships to stay collared. Where does this come from, how can you avoid it, and what can we do as a community? Let's talk about it. (idea originally from Pup Amp and Race Bannon)
High Protocol BDSM: A Guide to Parties, Training, Relationships and More!
In this video, we'll be demystifying the mysterious world of high protocol. What is this all about? Why are people into it? What is it like going to protocol parties, complete with fine dining and perfectly-set tables? What about other types of protocol events? And how can you get started making high protocol part of your relationship? All of that and more in today's video!
The BEST Dating Tips For Kinky People & Finding BDSM Relationships
In this video, we will be going over my REAL advice for meeting kinky people and having success with BDSM relationships! No nonsense alpha male drivel here, just realistic things you need to know if you want to get the most out of your experience on dating apps, Fetlife, or meeting people in real life.
Types of Masochists in BDSM: What Are You? (Masochism Archetypes)
Today we are doing a follow-up to the popular "Types of Sadist" video I made last year. This one is all about different types of masochists, how to figure out which type (or types!) you are, how that can change the kind of play you do, and how to find partners that suit your style.
BDSM as a SINGLE Person: The Benefits of Exploring Kink While Solo
Kink is oftentimes discussed as a strictly relationship-based activity. Be that the relationship between a pro domme and a client or the dynamics shown in romance novels or 50 Shades. It can really seem like in order to explore kink, you MUST have a partner! But you don't actually. And in fact, exploring BDSM on your own at first can have a number of advantages. You may decide you want to get used to the community before finding a partner, or choose to spend your entire time in the scene as a consciously single pringle. Whatever path you choose is wonderful, and you deserve to have some information about how to make that experience better... because how CAN you be single in the scene? What does that look like? What activities or parties can you go to? We'll be talking about all of that and more here today.
In this video we'll be talking about the experience of human pets. Did you know you can do petplay without having to act like a dog, cat, or pony? It's true! Human pets are an under represented approach to petplay and one that is both enjoyable and unique. We'll discuss what makes this approach so appealing and how you can try it for yourself in today's video.
In this video, we'll be discussing a common saying within some BDSM circles: that you need to "break" a submissive partner, or that breaking is a desirable process that produces a better, more loyal submissive partner. Is this true? What really is "breaking" anyway? where does this idea come from? and why is it so popular? we'll be talking about all of this and more today!
What People get WRONG About Polyamory | "Polyamory Never Lasts"?
In this video, we'll be talking more about polyamory. One of the common refrains about non-monogamy that you'll hear is that "polyamory doesn't last"; that it's a temporary thing that you grow out of with maturity. But is that true? How long do polyam relationships last? What about monogamous ones? How many relationships DO polyam people tend to have? We'll be discussing all of that and more in today's video. Science and research included!
Kinks I've Changed My Mind About (50 shades was ok actually??)
veryone knows that when you enter into the kink community you have to keep your opinions about everything the same forever! Wait... no you don't. In this video I'll be talking about why and how my opinions have changed on certain things, from specific kinks I engage in to pop culture topics.
Addressing Topping From The Bottom: Warning Signs & Dangers
Topping from the bottom: it's a popular phrase in the kink community. Right up there with other infamous refrains like "submissives have all the power"! But is it actually a thing? Why do we care so much about it? And how do we deal with it if we're experiencing it? We'll be talking about all of that and more here today.
QUIET Scenes: Privacy and Staying Discreet During BDSM Play
While it would be nice to always have access to our own private dungeon spaces, or at least have a great public play space nearby we can use whenever we want, that’s not the case for most people! Many of us have roommates, apartments with paper-thin walls, nosy neighbors, or landlords instead. So how can you have a great BDSM scene while not waking up everyone in the neighborhood, or at least not arousing suspicion? Let's talk about it.
NLevels of Sexuality in Kink: Is BDSM All About Sex?ew video
f you've been in the community for a while, you've likely heard the debates around kink being sexual or non-sexual. For the most part, we've decided that how sexual kink can be is an individual experience. But what does it mean, exactly, for kink to be sexual? In this video, I want to discuss the various levels at which people relate to kink and their sexuality. No way of relating is superior to any other, it's about understanding the nuances to facilitate conversation.
"SUBMISSIVES ARE LESS THAN!": Responding to Hate Comments (and learning)
I've had a long career here on youtube dot com. In that time, people have shared some pretty strong opinions with me! Some rational, and some decidedly less so. Let's laugh along and learn together as we react to some of my favorite recent comments, courtesy of the haters. 🙂
Age Gaps: Are They Always Problematic? | Red & GREEN Flags to Look For
Age gap relationships: love them or hate them, everyone has an opinion about them! Are age gaps always as problematic as people on the internet believe? Is there really a way to make them healthy, or tell whether or not they'll end up in a bad place from the start? And why are they so common in BDSM anyway? We'll talk about all of this and more in today's video, from the perspective of someone who has been in, and is currently in, multiple age gap relationships as the younger partner.
Enjoyment is NOT Consent: A Complicated Conversation About Pleasure
In this video, we're going to have a complicated conversation about consent, enjoyment, and pleasure, and how these things often get unfairly conflated. Can you consent if you don't like something? Does enjoying something mean you gave consent? The answer is more involved than you might expect. Features a post from Reddit that has been anonymized.
Beyond Subspace: Petspace, Ropespace, Littlespace & More [BDSM]
In this video, we'll be talking about 3 unique forms of subspace that not many people know about: ropespace, petspace, and littlespace. How are these forms of subspace different from the main one discussed in the broader BDSM community? How can they be achieved? And what unique challenges and benefits do they provide? Let's discuss.
Kink ISN'T Therapy: Drawing the Line Between Support & Enmeshment [BDSM]
Have you heard of the phrase "kink isn't therapy but it can be therapeutic"? It's been commonly said in BDSM spaces for years now, but how true is it? And what about the folks who do cross the line between merely being supportive into full-on therapy? How can you tell if you've done that in your relationship? And is this always a bad thing? Let's talk about it.
Dominant Training in BDSM: The BEST Tips & Techniques
In this video we'll be talking about the myths and reality of training as a Dominant in BDSM. Do you really need to spend a year as a submissive? What about finding a mentor? What skills are actually worth learning? Let's talk about it.
Overcoming Guilt and Shame About Your Kinks, Sexuality and Beyond
In this video we'll be exploring how to deal with guilt and shame. It's very common for folks to struggle with accepting their desires, sometimes to the point that they forgo exploring kink at all. So let's talk about ways to work through unjustified guilt and shame, what role gender can play in this experience, and so much more.
The Key To Discipline: Exploring the Hidden "D" in BDSM
In this video, we'll be discussing everything you've wanted to know about discipline! Discipline is the hidden "D" in BDSM and rarely gets the attention it deserves. So what exactly is discipline? How is it different from, and how can it complement, everything from power exchange to bratting? Let's talk about it.
Covert Kink: How to Do BDSM Without a Trace (no bruises!)
ome folks love bruises and marks from scenes, and just can't get enough! But for others, marks are undesirable. What do you do then? Is pain play off the table? Well, it might not be! Watch this video to find out more.
This Community Has a Cheater Problem (& it's not the polyamory)
Polyamory continues to be a controversial topic online. Recently, accusations against a well-known DM and content creator, Gabe Hicks, came out. His lies about his relationships not only damaged the people he lied to but the trust of the community and the reputation of polyamory on the whole. Let's talk about it.
In this video we'll be talking about one of the big things that actually bothers me about so-called fellow "polyamorous" people. Unfortunately, it seems to have become a term that folks re quite confused about, and many are now excusing their behavior under the guise that it's "just polyamory". Thus it's perfectly normal and beyond critique. I can't entirely agree. Let's talk about it.
Fixing Your Dead Bedroom (or Dungeon): Advice for Vanilla & Kinky Relationships
Dry spells and dead bedrooms don't have to end your relationship! Whether you're dealing with typical vanilla issues, or if it's your dungeon that has been collecting cobwebs lately, this video has solutions for you. Every relationship has its ups and downs, so learn how to weather them before it becomes a major issue. This video focuses on kink relationships, whether they are bedroom-focused or not, but the advice applies to relationships of all styles.
In this video, we discuss the history and principles of two guiding philosophies of kink: SSC and RACK. Over the last several decades these have grown into popular adages that are more or less a required part of any intro-level kink discussion. But are they really that helpful? RACK is often touted as a superior and more informed version of SSC, but doesn't it also have its own flaws? Let's discuss what those flaws are, as well as why they happen.
This video is a reaction to an article titled, "Help! My DEI Trainer Won’t Stop Talking About Kink!"; I changed the title slightly to avoid attracting attention from the wrong side of the internet 🙂 But join me anyway as we talk about the issue, discuss the better ways to approach kink around the workplace, and facepalm over it all.
Was your first celebrity crush on one of the characters in Twilight? Did you read Blood & Chocolate until the pages fell apart? Does the idea of your partner growling and pinning you to a wall make you feel some type of way? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you may have a monster kink! What is that exactly? Watch to find out more...
This video will explore the concept of differentiation within the 4 steps of relationship development and how that applies to kink relationships. We'll also talk about power exchange and the pressure to conform to power exchange norms and how to escape from that loop in order to create a power exchange relationship that works for YOU.
Let's talk DIY BONDAGE! While shibari is beautiful, it's often confusing and time consuming to learn. This leads many people to skip bondage altogether which is a shame. So let's talk about 10 ways you can explore bondage without needing rope, and understand why bondage can be so enjoyable.
n this video we'll be talking about the experience of human pets. Did you know you can do petplay without having to act like a dog, cat, or pony? It's true! Human pets are an under represented approach to petplay and one that is both enjoyable and unique. We'll discuss what makes this approach so appealing and how you can try it for yourself in today's video.
In this video, we'll be discussing the care and keeping of your Dominant! Yes, service is great, but there is so much more you can do to help your Dominant feel seen and heard in your relationship. Because rewards aren't just for submissives!
In this video, we'll be discussing a popular area of emotional sadomasochism: fearplay! Some folks love it, and other people hate it. But why do people enjoy playing with fear? Why would you want to feel scared during a scene or with your partner? And how can you work to cultivate a feeling of fear and suspense during your scenes? All of that and more in today's video!
Today we are deep-diving into the world of "vanilla" dominants. Are they a real thing? Well, maybe. Let's see if we can discover the origin of vanilla dominants, what they are, and how this term suddenly gained popularity.
This video will explore the concept of differentiation within the 4 steps of relationship development and how that applies to kink relationships. We'll also talk about power exchange and the pressure to conform to power exchange norms and how to escape from that loop in order to create a power exchange relationship that works for YOU.
Everyone loves collars, right? From online roleplayers to fanfiction to the real-life community, people love talking about collars. Wearing them, choosing them, being 'good enough' to receive one. But collars aren't all they're cracked up to be. Are they really that secretive? Are they really that personal or unique? Not always. Sometimes we want more than what we can get from a simple collar, or we'd like something different for a variety of reasons. This video discusses some of those alternatives and the next steps to take if one of them sounds right to yo
Pet play: Have you heard of Omegaverse? Wondering what the heck ABO is or what it stands for? In this video, we'll be exploring the unique kink perspective on Alpha/Beta/Omega roleplay and pack dynamics!Â
The 10 TOP Newbie Sub Mistakes in BDSM (and how to avoid them)
In this video, we'll be going over the top mistakes new submissives make when entering the BDSM community. If you're new, or you have a partner who is, take heed of this list so you can avoid making the same errors so many of us have!
5 Tips for Being a Better Dominant (beginner-friendly!)
In today's video we are going to be discussing how to be a better top or Dominant in BDSM! If you are new to the scene, new to topping, and want to avoid some common mistakes, this is a great place to start. There is not much information out there for brand-new tops and I want to bridge that educational gap.
Maybe you are just getting started in your BDSM journey. Maybe you have 20 years of D/s experience and want to take things to the next level. Or maybe, you're just looking for tips on how to be better in your service with your play partners. No matter the reason, there are all things us s-types can do to improve out place in the dynamic(s) we have, and to better ourselves.
