Chat Rooms

Abridged Rules for Collar N cuffs Femdom chat rooms

for full terms of service please see all the full documents located under Terms of Services provided and not provided :Terms of Service and Acceptable Use Policy by activating your profile you have agreed to all all provisions, legalities, conditions set forth and are are, 21 or older

1. Please be Courteous to ALL those around you. Always be Respectful, Manners count everywhere in life..!!! Moderators freely offer their personal time for the betterment of your Femdom chatting experience please respect them and their decisions. Only one profile per person, multiple profiles will result in bans. We prefer you do not use Proxy or masked IPs these will often end up in bans. If you have a concern contact the site owners via the contact form or alternately contact the Community Admin team and they will direct you to the Site Admin

2. No Flaming (arguing or gossiping about others).. Nobody appreciates this.

3. Remember everyone has their own lives, lifestyles, and fetishes; please be respectful to everyone's opinions. This chat is a SSC chat room topics outside of SSC and our guidelines may result in bans (can be without warning) Being Drunk or Drugged during play negates consent. being drunk or drugged also negates consent to be here discussing BDSM. Beside that, drugs are not legal in all in all countries. This includes 440 please try to avoid such topics so ALL can enjoy chatting. We get it, its legal in YOUR country but other countries where it is not, they have to leave our chat because of it.  do what you want in private, its not here in the a PUBLIC chat. 

4. NO Trolling (purposely being a nuisance ) No one likes it and it is really not acceptable in the Femdom lifestyle. Trolls will be removed and risk being banned. If your going to show your cock! Do so in private and make sure you have consent from all parties. WHY? If you receive a random nude of someone, it can be creepy and upsetting. That’s because it makes the interaction between the sender and you sexual without your consent, which is sexual harassment. This now illegal in some countries and a criminal offense. ASK FIRST, CONSENT MATTERS.

5. NO Lurking (not joining in on chat) It takes no effort to say hello, goodbye, or smile. You don't need to post mountains of text but please try to join in.

6. NO cyber (online sex) NO cyber (online sex) in the Lounge, please use the Dungeon or take it privately. Note if you are in the Dungeon, you are giving consent to anyone that enters the room. Males impersonating females Dominants will not be tolerated and will result in immediate bans. If female sexual orientation is in doubt, requests will be made for verification from Moderators. Those denying requests from moderators will be removed and banned on discovery.(contact a moderator if you have doubts ) The dungeon is NOT moderated and neither are your PMS.

7. Solicitation to pay sites or financial Domination are not welcome. If caught you will be banned without warning or explanation.

8. Maledom will not be tolerated. Male switches will not be tolerated. mixed BDSM will not be tolerated. Those conducting Maledom cyber will be banned without warning or explanation.

9. The use of multiple profiles will not be tolerated, those found with multiple profiles will be banned without warning or explanation. If you have created an extra profile in error please contact the Admin Team

10. Males found out to be impersonating female dominants will be banned. Those living full time as Transgender are most welcome (please read our community guidelines for further clarification or ask to speak to MissBonnie personally). Our chat is open to Dominant women and male submissives only, female submissives are most welcome if they serve, or wish to serve in a Femdom relationship or need a secure place to chat. MaleDom and Male switches are not tolerated
(**Moderators have the right to allow who they like, regardless of sexual orientation)

11. Please show respect and ask permission before sending any PM (Private message) some Dommes do not respond well to unsolicited PM's in the Chatroom. This isn't a rule, it is request. A request that following, makes you look better in the eyes of the Dominants. 

12. Most of all HAVE FUN!!

Topics that are off limits

CollarNcuffs.com operates a SSC chat room we expect our chatters to remain within its guidelines at all times.

SSC (Safe, Sane and Consensual) is a frequently heard phrase in BDSM communities, and its roots are deeply entwined with a concern for ethics and, more to the point, fair play.

Safe means that even when we play hard, we avoid causing true harm .

Sane means folks don't play when they're angry, intoxicated, drugged or otherwise not fully able to determine boundaries, and evaluate risk.

Consensual means that players in a scene have provided each other with knowledgeable and informed consent, and that every participant has the right to stop the scene at any time through use of a safe word or other per-designated means.

Anyone under the age of 18, SPAM of any kind, Advertising of any kind, Incest, Bestiality (sex with animals), Insults, or flames Libel, Snuff topics, or those involving death of yourself, or another, Topics intended to inflame, or defame. NON acceptable SSC practices. Animal crush. Males pretending to be females. Maledom, MixedBDSM, male switches. Financial Domination and profiteering from chat will be banned or removed at the moderators discretion.

Furthermore, there are no second chances. If the rules are violated, the Chatter will be removed from the chat room and forum at the discretion of the owners or moderators. If you are unhappy with anyone or any thing in Collar N cuffs chat please contact the owners via contact link.. DO NOT take this up further with moderators. They cannot remove your ban.

Additional clerical:

**The AdminTeam and Moderators also reverse the right to ask YOU to change names if your name is offensive ,disrespectful to other chatters, or causes confusion.**

The use of honorifics (capitalizing e.g. U/us W/we) is NOT necessary in this room if you wish to use them please feel free to do so but it is not a rule.

Please do not play grammar police in the chatroom!

remember no one likes a grammar cop! Not all of us are gifted with perfect spelling, punctuation or grammar. For some English is a second language. Remember it's the meaning behind the words that count.

CollarNcuffs has very simple rules to chat, that is what makes our chat different and what makes it work. Please to do not confuse new people, by insisting that cap protocol be obeyed. Those found trying to enforce this will find themselves in the cold, as the Admin Team has had enough.

We are told all the time how much our chat is different and how much fun it is. Insisting on a convention that is not in the rules makes us no better than yahoo or the likes of Collarme/Collarspace. Please people, use your brains. Does it really matter on how a member chooses to write their name? lower case or upper case, our members have right to use what they wish. A capital does not make a woman dominant, the woman behind the user name does. A submissive using lower case doesn't not make him submissive [in nature]. Again the person behind the keyboard matters, not the writing style!

For those saying, but this protocol makes it easier to tell role and sexuality at a glance, please note we have profiles for this. Also note dominant or submissive, no one is greater than the other, respect should given to each. Being dominant doesn't give extra rights to ladyship all submissives, being submissive doesn't have to imply you are submissive to all. Those not filling out profiles when requested, will be suspended

Often those chat rooms operating with this convention/protocol are swamped with trolls. Often, only those capitalized names are spoken too by submissives, often trolls will enter and PM every person with a capital...do we really want that in our friendly open laid back chat?

This is a site that prides itself on breaking the media Internet driven fodder, of submissives having no value, or little worth. Your community stands for breaking the Myths and making Femdom and obtainable to all. We like to treat all fairly and as real people, with feelings and emotions....by enforcing the use of honorifics and Internet driven conventions/protocols, you're feeding the myths and making a mockery out every thing we stand for.

please, please knock it off!

for more information regarding privacy and how we use your personal information please see our Privacy policy (located on the bottom of every site page)

Are  Public Chats Recorded? Yes, but that record is deleted every 12 hours and rewritten to maintain server space. We are required by law to keep 12 hour records for events such as bullying. 

Our Chatroom will also keep a chat scroll of previous chats for a few hours for continuity of conversation flow. This also aides those just entering chat to quickly catch up with conversation happening. 

Are These Public Chat Recorded Read By Admin Staff?  In the event of a reported issue, then yes we could access these but  ONLY in 12 hours they are retained.

Do we want to access these records? NO not really and so we haven't had to but will do so if it really important and deemed necessary or we legally need to. Just please be aware that the retained records may not line up with your required requested time frame. If you wish your own proof of what was said or done, please take a screen shot. 

Are our personal messages read by Admins? No, why the Admin Team wish too! We have a life of our own. All messaging systems on CollarNcuffs cannot be accessed by the Admin Team. This is why they are called "personal" 

MissBonnies Mother hen warnings.

Here are just some ideas and suggestions .. you can take or leave them.. that's up to you... these are NOT rules.. just some helpful hints ok!

ENTERING A ONLINE ROOM (Subs)

When you enter on line chat rooms, don't kneel, lower your eyes, or greet ONLY the Dommes in the rooms. (Yes, guy subs, I'm talking to YOU) The only people you impress are those who have been on line dominants for less than an hour or the Dommes who got their idea of D/s from internet fantasy fodder.

Real life Dommes are much more impressed to find out that you have a brain, can hold a polite conversation, and have a few manners. The other half of this is "Don't kiss my butt unless I TELL you to kiss it." Not everyone wants their hind parts sucked on. Think about it. There are probably 10 guy subs for every female Domme. Butt kissing is easy, making yourself interesting is a challenge. Don't offer to submit to the first Domme who talks to you.
Even if you are the kind of person who meets someone and wakes up married the next day, try to demonstrate a little more discretion in choosing someone who will expect actual obedience from you. Even a cyber relationship needs some mutual ground for understanding.

If you expect it to shift into real time, for gawd sake, try to find someone who has more to offer you than just D/s. D/s is fun, D/s is good, but D/s is also not all there is in life. Remember, this is not an interactive sex program you are playing with. There are real people on the other side of that screen. Think about whether you would like this person if you had to actually be WITH them. Also, don't submit, even in cyber unless you actually mean it. Just sending email and having a hot chat does not make you a sub. Submission is just that. Submission to the will of another.

A lot of cyber relationships are just as important as real life to the people involved and they take them just as seriously. If this is just a cyber game to you, be sure your partner feels the same way.

You might want to read a Dommes profile before addressing her in the room most of them specify what they'd like to be called.. if they don’t I suggest defaulting to Ms (Screen name) or Ma'am. Many of us don't like being called Mistress by people not our collared subs

Be patient.... its a major turn off when a guy comes in saying I want to serve! ... who'd want a sub who'd want just anyone.. take the time to get to know the Dommes... chat in the room ..greet people... ask questions....

Please, please, please IGNORE.. the idiots who say really rude things in the room. they are JUST looking for attention .. why give them what they want??? Put these people on Ignore and talk about something else. Remember to report them to the
Admin Team we cannot fix your problem if we are not made aware.

How to handle a Mistress giving you orders who isn't your Mistress.. .and you don't wish to follow them... My recommendation.. is to say something to the effect of With all due respect, Mistress So and So, I am submissive only to the one I've gotten to know and decided to submit to.. (or something like that...something gentle) you don't EVER have to submit to anyone... except YOUR Mistress but you should always treat a Domme with respect. People who are rudely giving you commands online are probably not real life Dommes, anyway. Real Dommes expect you to NOT follow orders from anyone you have not agreed to submit to.

Its really unfortunate.. but there are a lot more submissive males then Dommes online but there aren't that a lot of quality submissive males ,if you are a quality sub then be sure and stand out! Don't do the cyber kneeling, serving coffee, rubbing feet and other silly crap In the main room (leave it for the dungeon), we don't go for that. Take the time to demonstrate how intelligent and witty you are.

Being new: Hey we were ALL new once! Being new is nothing to be ashamed of. Its unfortunate that many, forget they were new once and look down upon newbie's.. I'm sorry for that.. and please remember when you are experienced that you were new once. The regulars in CollarNcuffs will take the time to answer sincere questions. DON'T ask questions like, "What do you do with your sub?" or "What would you do to me if I were your sub." We don't do fantasy fodder. If you want to wank, that's great but don't try tricking the ladies. They have known about this method for a long time 

Don’t hesitate to ask questions! Its great to get the room going! And its a learning experience.

Some subs here really stand out in CollarNcuffs. IF you notice a sub who has the respect of the Dommes, sure envy him.. but also watch him and learn from him!

If you were to walk into a crowded bar where everyone was busy talking...and went and sat in a corner and meekly said “hi “…. nobody would notice you the same applies here don't just say Hello all.... greet people individually Hello Mickey.... Hi Miss Bonnie
( hint...please don't call me Mistress Bonnie. I want to be called Bonnie or MissBonnie just as my usernames says 

Being worthy: I know everyone has their kinks but I am a little confused by the subs who come in saying they are not worthy. if your not worthy why would a Domme want you?? Perhaps you should do whatever it takes to make yourself worthy! 

Some people seem to think that being a sub male means being a "Wimp" but I can tell you from first hand experience (my oz is no wimp) that most submissive men are very MUCH Men. They just know what they like, which is to please their Mistress in EVERY Way possible (within their limits)

Honesty is VERY important online. If you are married ADMIT it. A lot of other married folks online are looking for something non-committal Just be open and honest. Its the best thing to do

ENTERING A ONLINE ROOM (Dommes)

Entering an on line chat room and announcing "On your knees!" is a dead giveaway that you are an amateur. You might impress the dazzled and the desperate, but real dominants and submissives will laugh at you.

Establishing a presence as an intelligent, dominant person will go far to bring you to the attention of the intelligent, PICKY subs as a Domme worth having.

Real power shows itself in politeness and in good manners. Don't lead subs on to submit to you if you are just sub collecting for the heck of it, or if you have no intention of actually taking care of this person's well being

Domming someone is a lot more than dressing in black and beating the crap out of your sub. You are responsible to NOT HURT this person in any non- consensual or actually damaging way.

Even cyber only relationships require a lot of thought, caring, and know how.

Cyber Dommes, Remember, these are real people on the other side of the screen; not toys, computer simulations or graphics. Taking power includes taking responsibility. This means being there when something goes wrong. Something will eventually go wrong. If you are treating this like a game, be VERY sure your playmate KNOWS it's a game. A lot of people take cyber VERY seriously.