Depersonalization and sensory deprivation implies an entire range of BDSM Femdom activities often referred to humiliation. Usually depersonalization means that the Domme orders submissive to perform a role which is considerably different from the submissives role in usual life.
As a rule depersonalization is fulfilled as turning a person into an object for example into a foot stool or an ash-tray. A person can as well be turned into an animal, let us say into a dog or a pony. Many beginners cannot make their mind why Dommes and sub’s use this activity. The information given below will help you to realize what can be attractive about depersonalization. Depersonalization is one aspect of the lifestyle that seems to have no middle ground: I’ve found Dommes who like it and I’ve found Dommes who hate it. My goal isn’t to persuade you one way or the other. It is only to inform and maybe seed you with, your own ideas.
But what can I as a Domme get out of de personalization?
Depersonalization gives the Domme a mean to escalate her role of the Mistress up to the pinnacle of her power and control over her slave. It makes a Domme an absolute owner of her slave by requiring much more submission than usually given Whatever role you have chosen for your submissive (no matter whether you turn him into a pet or an object) gives you an enormous pleasure of feeling your total control over your submissive. Your submissive is deprived of any feelings, of any emotions. He is not a person, he is not even a slave, and he is an object or an animal. He is nothing and he completely belongs to you. You can do with him whatever you want. Isn’t it exciting?
But I’m a submissive, will I get anything ‘good’ out of this experience, I know it will please my Domme, but there more to it?
For a submissive depersonalization means possibility to forget about his social role. A means to slipping out of the role you’ve always had in society. To understand that better we have to think about how your personality looks from the society’s point of view. You might be a young businessman, a boss, a father of two children. But being deprived of your personality you become free of your duties and responsibilities. As a submissive you are stripped of all the trappings that our modern day culture has provided as tools for protection and made to feel extremely vulnerable and helpless. Becoming a “toy” or an animal that has no input or demands is liberating. There’s no concern for “self” and all that remains in focus, is obedience.
Depersonalization makes you another creature, deprived of all your traits. It deprives you of power, of control – at least for some time. Are there Benefits for the Dominant also?
Few of us Dominants would be able (or even desire) to base our relationship entirely on depersonalization alone, since it forces us to divorce our feelings of affection and tenderness toward our submissive. But for the short time period we do, it re enforces the foundation of this lifestyle–the exchange of power.
I suspect that most dominants experience a wide range of “domme-ness”; that is, if you imagine a wide range from least to most dominant, we spend most of our time in the middle (whatever that middle is for you). At times you will be at the far end of the “most dominant” range, though, and need to have an outlet for that. For some, depersonalization can be a beneficial expression of this extreme. It can be particularly difficult for the sub to give up their status as a loving, caring person and become something less than human, no more than property or a piece of furniture. The proper equipment for the scene can be immensely beneficial in helping them become this…it sets up the right frame of mind.
Seeing your submissive wearing this equipment can also be intensely gratifying, visually speaking it symbolizes their ultimate surrender, service to you, and willingness to please you in whatever form you’ve chosen.
This sounds good, I’m a Domme…Do I need to watch out for anything?
If you choose to include depersonalization in your relationship, you should be aware that you may have to resolve emotional issues that crop up.
- Guilt: I love my submissive dearly…how can I treat him so indifferently? Society has taught you what relationships are supposed to be, and this certainly isn’t it.
- Remorse: Following a session, you may find yourself feeling strangely sorry for having done exactly what you both desired.
Clearly, prior negotiation is essential when it comes to depersonalization. You need to know your submissive well, just how far you can safely go; exactly how much is too much and how much is not enough. Forms of humiliation can be extremely volatile territory because you are probing deeply into the psyche.
To help you both benefit from the experience and resolve emotional conflict, take some time before the scene and afterwards to reinforce your true feelings for your submissive. Reassure them that no matter how you may behave during the scene, it doesn’t reflect your true emotions. Treating them indifferently for a couple hours a month so that you can both deepen your relationship doesn’t mean that you will suddenly begin to do so the other 99.9% of the time.
Will I have trouble as a submissive?
The greatest obstacle that most submissives have to overcome is the loss of their identity. You are no longer the cherished, protected and sometimes-pampered submissive of your Dominant. You are an animal or a thing and this causes quite an internal struggle for some submissives. It’s not easy to give up your sense of identity but when you are able to overcome that obstacle you gain a freedom from self that you’ve never experienced before.
Another mental block is fear. You are vulnerable and made to be very aware of the fact. Loss of control means risk, and unless you have complete trust in your Domme this is going to be one very scary ordeal.
Humiliation is another hurdle for some submissives. The act of becoming a pony or a sex toy is seen as degrading to society and your own social awareness is going to be dragged to the surface for you to deal with. You are no longer sheltered by concern for your comfort or modesty–shyness has no place in a pony’s life. You’ll feel as though your soul has been bared to the world.
This stripping away of the protective shell of your embarrassment and reluctance is a difficult process but the benefits are tremendous. You’ll soon see the things that hinder your submission and surrender to your Domme. The things that prevent you from giving yourself totally will be forced into view and give you the opportunity to vanquish them and find a deeper, richer relationship with the person to whom you’ve hand over the reins.
How can we introduce depersonalization?
Depersonalization might acquire various forms. The only thing can limit you is your fantasy. For some partners a word order is enough, others need use of some BDSM toys and accessories.
The most common equipment used in depersonalization is usually found in the realm of the pony boy. Its design is tailored to bring out deep-hidden emotional responses in the submissive. The first response it evokes in most submissives is humiliation. Starting with the halter and gag, the intent is to remove control from the submissive and give it to the dominant.
Do I need toys to do depersonalization?
Let us see how BDSM toys and accessories are used for depersonalization. To understand BDSM toy’s role in depersonalization games let use the two most used method of depersonalization.
Pony play implies that the Domme is a master of a pony – her submissive.
By incorporating toys in this game you emphasize roles you perform and make it easier to begin playing your roles. By wearing a riding suit the Domme does not only change her clothes – she forgets about your usual role and begin playing role of owner of your pony.
This does not only make the scene more real. This lets the submissive know he must be completely obedient to his Mistress.
The Mistress chooses what costume her Submissive should wear. He puts on his submissive the costume hence making it easier to the partner to turn from simple submissive into an object which has neither voice nor his own personality.
In this case the submissive might wear harness and a butt plug with pony tail on its end. You can choose whatever BDSM toy or accessory you want. You can whip up your pony with a crop you might have your pony blind if you wish by making it wear a mask actually you can do whatever you want, everything depends on your fantasy. Of course, you might do without any BDSM toys; however these will considerably adorn your play and will make it much more real.
We don’t have toys?
In this game the submissive is no more than an object you put under your feet. Your submissive is a simple foot stool. When playing an object the submissives head and limbs can be completely restrained. Helplessness frees mind of perception of outside events including sensory stimulus. Here again BDSM toys and accessories are going to be of good help, but can be improvised. A simple case as a hood, stockings can be used for ties and binds. Look around your home, you’ll find many things you can convert. You could also have a look in our craft section for many interesting ideas.
Handcuffs, spreader bars, hoods, masks, mittens – all these BDSM toys are going to make the submissive completely helpless. He has nothing but to enjoy his sensations. He is deprived of control, he is not responsible for what is happening and he can give his Mistress pleasure as well as to enjoy pleasure he is receiving.
These are only possible examples. Do not limit yourself, make up your own games and scenes and enjoy them! Depersonalization is one of the more advanced practices that we see in our lifestyle. It’s not for everyone. I’ve no doubt this topic has brought strong feelings at both ends of the spectrum. Keep in mind that limits, by their very nature, are things that tend to expand as our relationship with our partner grows. I recall a time not too very long ago when the idea of depersonalization wasn’t of any interest me.
Perhaps you are ready to add this to your relationship. Others of you are not ready for it yet, and still others never will be. I hope I’ve been able to at least shed some light on why some find the practice beneficial and what its attraction is.
Text Miss Bitch and MissBonnie © Collarncuff.com