The passing of any bodily fluid or material from one individual to another.
This first and most basic practice includes virtually all sexual activity, therefore, in order to engage in a normal sex life, one must use circumspect caution about what activities are acceptable and with whom.
If you have a lover and have known this person for a protracted period and both of you have reasonable assurances that neither of you have strayed to assignations with outsiders, and if you both take HIV tests regularly (twice a year), then the likelihood that that either of you will infect the other is virtually nil. But, even in this very cautious hypothetical example you still could contract type C hepatitis if your sexplay includes ingestion of feces or vomitus. (For some people it does.) Or, in a less extreme variant, a long dormant herpetic infection might appear and transfer without notice.
The question naturally arises: “What are safe sexual practices?” This is a tricky question to answer. The problem comes from the mounds of legal liability that return to haunt anyone who has the chutzpah to step forward and declare some practice to be safe. There are many lists of do’s and dont’s that are so specific that they can never address the plethora of human sexual experiences. In practice, safety becomes a matter of common sense.
While oral sex, including the swallowing of semen, has lately been considered by many self-appointed authorities to not be a vehicle for HIV, if you spend your days kneeling naked in the men’s room of a porno store taking on all comers, you would be engaging in an unsafe practice. There are people who behave this way and they risk infection from all manner of STD’s as well as other diseases which are transmitted via urine, skin and blood. This leads us to the second unsafe sexual practice:
Engaging in sexual contact with multiple partners and with unknown partners
The numbers will eventually get you. It’s a lottery and you stand a better chance of winning (losing really) if you have 365 entries a year instead of 3 or 4. You need to pick your partners carefully, and what you find out over cocktails in two hours will simply not be enough information. Offering yourself as a Bukkake target in a bath house may sound thrilling as a fantasy, but it brings real dangers along for the reality ride. Of course, you might do stuff like this for years with no adverse results. Some people buy lottery tickets every week and never win either, but odds playing is a form of gambling, and at least in Lotto, you are only out a buck. Next to masturbation, frottage (rubbing someones genitals through the clothing) is the least dangerous activity, although you could get a rash. Lying naked together and manipulating each others genitals is usually OK, but penises get drippy and vaginas get wet and it all rubs off onto you. This may not be a problem unless you have a teeny tiny cut on your skin, or a rash, which then becomes an access point to your circulatory system. Licking and sucking are a major part of sex, and for the most part, healthy saliva and a generous dose of stomach acid will act as a bar to most viruses. If you recently flossed, however, you might have made a gum bleed a little and then, there’s that superhighway again, right into your body. Everything discussed to this point simply requires your judicious screening of the candidate for your sexual fun. It would not be smart to tempt fate by giving head to a guy you just met on the day you had a wisdom tooth extracted. However, most people get to play at least to the oral stage without having to face death, if they are careful.
After this, things get a bit dicey. Deposits into the vagina and into the anal cavity are like injections into your body. These areas are rich in blood vessels and are uniquely equipped to engage in chemical transfers into the bloodstream. The penis is also a blood filled organ that easily suffers friction injuries. Ergo:
Penetrating the vagina and anus without a condom
This is a premier way to transfer any STD. Condoms are cheap, easy to use and do not impede sexual frenzy. In fact, virtually nothing impedes sexual frenzy. Latex and poly condoms protect against HIV, genital herpes, and pregnancy. Natural lambskin condoms (like Fourex Brand) are good only against conception. Their membranes will pass disease. If you are unsure, read the package! Many people engage in the practice of barebacking. It is unsafe, unless you know the history of your partner. Always use a rubber and be (relatively) certain.
Taking anything into your body, by mouth or other orifice, compromises the integrity of your person. We take it so for granted by breathing, drinking, eating all the time, that we are not focused on the idea that we may be poisoned. Poisoning isn’t only the realm of an old witch with a green potion. It can come in the form of a hot load from a hard cock, and be very desirable to you until the full effects are known. Therefore, we come to this last unsafe practice:
Openly engaging in sex without first clutching to your intellect.
Condoms are the only form of protection that can both help to stop the transmission of sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) such as HIV and prevent pregnancy
Getting ready, choosing the right condom
A number of different types of condom are now available. What is generally called a condom is the ‘male’ condom, a sheath or covering which fits over a man’s penis, and which is closed at one end. There is also now a female condom, or vaginal sheath, which is used by a woman and which fits inside her vagina. The rest of this page is about the male condom.
What are condoms made of?
Condoms are usually made of latex or polyurethane. If possible you should use a latex condom, as they are slightly more reliable, and in most countries they are most readily available.
Latex condoms can only be used with water based lubricants, not oil based lubricants such as Vaseline or cold cream as they break down the latex. A small number of people have an allergic reaction to latex and can use polyurethane condoms instead. Polyurethane condoms are made of a type of plastic. They are thinner than latex condoms, and so they increase sensitivity and are more agreeable in feel and appearance to some users. They are more expensive than latex condoms and slightly less flexible so more lubrication may be needed. However both oil and water based lubricants can be used with them. It’s not clear whether latex or polyurethane condoms are stronger – there are studies suggesting that either is less likely to break. With both types however, the likelihood of breakages is very small if used correctly. The lubrication on condoms also varies. Some condoms are not lubricated at all, some are lubricated with a silicone substance, and some condoms have a water-based lubricant. The lubrication on condoms aims to make the condom easier to put on and more comfortable to use. It can also help prevent condom breakage.
Spermicides and Nonoxynol 9
Condoms and lubricants sometimes contain a spermicide called Nonoxynol 9. Adding Nonoxynol 9 to condoms was thought in the past to help to prevent pregnancy and the transmission of HIV and other STDs, but it is now known to be ineffective. Some people have an allergic reaction to Nonoxynol 9 that can result in little sores, which can actually make the transmission of HIV more likely. Because of this, you should only use condoms and lubricants containing Nonoxynol 9 if you are HIV negative and know that your partner is too. However, using a condom (even if it contains Nonoxynol 9) is much safer than having unprotected sex.
What shapes are there and which should I choose? What about flavored condoms?
Condoms come in a variety of shapes. Most have a reservoir tip although some do have a plain tip. Condoms may be regular shaped (with straight sides), form fit (indented below the head of the penis), or they may be flared (wider over the head of the penis). Ribbed condoms are textured with ribs or bumps, which can increase sensation for both partners. Condoms also come in a variety of colours. It’s up to you which shape you choose. All of the differences in shape are designed to suit different personal preferences and enhance pleasure. It is important to communicate with your partner to be sure that you are using condoms that satisfy both of you. Some condoms are flavoured to make oral sex more enjoyable. They are also safe to use for penetrative sex as long as they have been tested and approved.
What about the condom size?
Condoms are made in different lengths and widths, and different manufacturers produce varying sizes. There is no standard length for condoms, though those made from natural rubber will in addition always stretch if necessary to fit the length of the man’s erect penis. The width of a condom can also vary. Some condoms have a slightly smaller width to give a “closer” fit, whereas others will be slightly larger. Condom makers have realised that different lengths and widths are needed and are increasingly broadening their range of sizes. The brand names will be different in each country, so you will need to do your own investigation of different names. There is no particular best brand of condom.
So when do you use a condom?
You need to use a new condom every time you have sexual intercourse. Never use the same condom twice. Put the condom on after the penis is erect and before any contact is made between the penis and any part of the partner’s body. If you go from anal intercourse to vaginal intercourse, you should consider changing the condom.
Where can I get condoms?
There are no age limitations on buying condoms. Buying a condom no matter how old you are shows that you are taking responsibility for your actions. Family planning and sexual health clinics provide condoms free of charge. Condoms are available to buy from supermarkets, convenience stores and petrol/gas stations. Vending machines selling condoms are found in toilets at many locations. You can also order then online from different manufacturers and distributors.
How can I check a condom is safe to use?
Condoms that have been properly tested and approved carry the British Standard Kite Mark or the EEC Standard Mark (CE). In the USA, condoms should be FDA approved, and elsewhere in the world, they should be ISO approved. To find out more about condom testing see Condoms history, effectiveness and testing page on the http://www.avert.org/site. Condoms have an expiration (Exp) or manufacture (MFG) date on the box or individual package that tells you when it is safe to use the condom until. It’s important to check this when you use a condom. You should also make sure the package and the condom appear to be in good condition. Condoms can deteriorate if not stored properly as they are affected by both heat and light. So it’s best not to use a condom that has been stored in your back pocket, your wallet, or the glove compartment of your car. If a condom feels sticky or very dry you shouldn’t use it as the packaging has probably been damaged.
How do you use a condom?
Open the condom package at one corner being careful not to tear the condom with your fingernails, your teeth, or through being too rough. Make sure the package and condom appear to be in good condition, and check that if there is an expiry date that the date has not passed. Place the rolled condom over the tip of the hard penis, and if the condom does not have a reservoir top, pinch the tip of the condom enough to leave a half inch space for semen to collect. If the man is not circumcised, then pull back the foreskin before rolling on the condom. Pinch the air out of the condom tip with one hand and unroll the condom over the penis with the other hand. Roll the condom all the way down to the base of the penis, and smooth out any air bubbles. (Air bubbles can cause a condom to break.) If you want to use some extra lubrication, put it on the outside of the condom. But always use a water-based lubricant (such as KY Jelly or Liquid Silk) with latex condoms, as an oil-based lubricant will cause the latex to break. Click here to see picture of lubricants. The man wearing the condom doesn’t always have to be the one putting it on – it can be quite a nice thing for his partner to do.
What do you do if the condom won’t unroll?
The condom should unroll smoothly and easily from the rim on the outside. If you have to struggle or if it takes more than a few seconds, it probably means that you are trying to put the condom on upside down. To take off the condom, don’t try to roll it back up. Hold it near the rim and slide it off. Then start again with a new condom.
When do you take off the condom?
Pull out before the penis softens, and hold the condom against the base of the penis while you pull out, so that the semen doesn’t spill. Condom should be disposed properly for example wrapping it in a tissue and throwing it away. It’s not good to flush condoms down the toilet – they’re bad for the environment.
What do you do if a condom breaks?
If a condom breaks during sexual intercourse, then pull out quickly and replace the condom. Whilst you are having sex, check the condom from time to time, to make sure it hasn’t split or slipped off. If the condom has broken and you feel that semen has come out of the condom during sex, you should consider getting emergency contraception such as the morning after pill.
What condoms should you use for anal intercourse?
With anal intercourse more strain is placed on the condom. You can use stronger condoms (which are thicker) but standard condoms are just as effective as long as they are used correctly with plenty of lubricant. Condoms with a lubricant containing Nonoxynol 9 should NOT be used for anal sex as Nonoxynol 9 damages the lining of the rectum increasing the risk of HIV and other STD transmission.
Is using a condom effective?
If used properly, a condom is very effective at reducing the risk of being infected with HIV during sexual intercourse. Using a condom also provides protection against other sexually transmitted diseases, and protection against pregnancy. In the laboratory, latex condoms are very effective at blocking transmission of HIV because the pores in latex condoms are too small to allow the virus to pass through. However, outside of the laboratory condoms are less effective because people do not always use condoms properly. To find out more about the effectiveness of condoms, go to our Condom history, effectiveness and testing page.
How do you dispose of a used condom?
All condoms should be disposed of by wrapping in tissue or toilet paper and throwing them in the bin. Condoms should not be flushed down the toilet as they may cause blockages in the sewage system and pollution. Latex condoms are made mainly from latex with added stabilizers, preservatives and vulcanizing (hardening) agents. Latex is a natural substance made form rubber trees, but because of the added ingredients most latex condoms are not biodegradable. Polyurethane condoms are made from plastic and are not biodegradable. Biodegradable latex condoms are available from some manufacturers.
How can I persuade my partner that we should use a condom?
It can be difficult to talk about using condoms. But you shouldn’t let embarrassment become a health risk. The person you are thinking about having sex with may not agree at first when you say that you want to use a condom when you have sex. These are some comments that might be made and some answers that you could try…
Reasons to use condoms
There are many reasons to use condoms when having sex. You could go through these reasons with your partner and see what she/he thinks.
Condoms are the only contraceptive that help prevent both pregnancy and the spread of sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV) when used properly and consistently. Condoms are one of the most reliable methods of birth control when use properly and consistently. Condoms have none of the medical side-effects of some other birth control methods may have. Condoms are available in various shapes, colours, flavours, textures and sizes – to increase the fun of making love with condoms. Condoms are widely available in pharmacies, supermarkets and convenience stores. You don’t need a prescription or have to visit a doctor. Condoms make sex less messy. Condoms are user friendly. With a little practice, they can also add confidence to the enjoyment of sex. Condoms are only needed when you are having sex unlike some other contraceptives which require you to take or have them all of the time. Here are also some tips that can help you to feel more confident and relaxed about using condoms.
Confidence tips
Keep condoms handy at all times. If things start getting steamy – you’ll be ready. It’s not a good idea to find yourself having to rush out at the crucial moment to buy condoms – at the height of the passion you may not want to. When you buy condoms, don’t get embarrassed. If anything, be proud. It shows that you are responsible and confident and when the time comes it will all be worthwhile. It can be more fun to go shopping for condoms with your partner or friend. Nowadays, it is also easy to buy condoms discreetly on the internet. Talk with your partner about using a condom before having sex. It removes anxiety and embarrassment. Knowing where you both stand before the passion stands will make you lot more confident that you both agree and are happy about using a condom. If you are new to condoms, the best way to learn how to use them is to practice putting them on by yourself or your partner. It does not take long to become a master. If you feel that condoms interrupt you passion then try introducing condoms into your lovemaking. It can be really sexy if your partner helps you put it on or you do it together.
contributed by AVERT a non-profit organization dedicated to the prevention of AIDS/HIV.
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Recently, and mostly within the United States, the use of the term safer sex rather than safe sex has gained greater use by health workers, with the realization the grounds that risk of transmission of sexually-transmitted infections in various sexual activities is a continuum rather than a simple dichotomy between risky and safe. However, in most other countries, including the United Kingdom and Australia, the term safe sex is still mainly used by sex educators. Because these terms are virtually synonymous with each other, they will be used interchangeably throughout this article.
Focus on AIDS
Much attention has focused on controlling HIV, which causes AIDS, through the use of condoms, but each STI presents a different predicament. However, sex educators recommend that some form of barrier protection as a harm reduction measure should be used for all sexual activities which might potentially result in the exchange of body fluids.
Sexual abstinence, while it virtually eliminates the risk of STIs or pregnancy, is technically not a method of pursuing “safer sex”. Solitary masturbation (including so-called “phone sex” and “cybersex”) is also completely safe.
Controlling social factors
Outside of total abstinence and masturbation, proponents of safer sex recommend that some of the following methods can minimize the risks of STI transmission and pregnancy during sexual activity.
Monogamy. However, be aware that many monogamous people have been infected with sexually-transmitted diseases by non-monogamous partners, partners who use injection drugs, or previously infected partners.
Knowing your partner(s), especially their STI status.
Treating existing STIs and infections of the genitals or mouth (which may increase the chance of transmission).
Communicating with your partner. Being assertive in saying what you want and don’t want. This includes discussing beforehand what is acceptable and what is not to avoid “heat of passion” decisions
For those who are not monogamous, reducing your number of sexual partners, particularly anonymous sexual partners, will also reduce your potential exposure to STIs.
Not using recreational drugs, including alcohol, in a way that increases the likelihood you will be negligent of other safer sex guidelines.
Preventing fluid exchange:Avoiding any contact with blood, vaginal fluid, and semen of the partner:Use condoms. Condoms cover the penis during sexual activity. They are most frequently made of latex, but can also be made out of polyurethane for those who have a latex allergy, or they can be made out of animal intestine. Polyurethane is thought to be a safe material for use in condoms, since it is nonporous and viruses cannot pass through it. However, there is less research on its effectiveness than there is on latex. Any condoms made out of animal skin or intestine, such as Trojan NaturaLamb, are not thought to be safe because they are porous and viruses such as HIV can pass through them.
Female condom.
This condom is inserted into the vagina prior to intercourse. It is also sometimes used for anal sex. Dental dam. A sheet of latex (originally used for dentistry) for protection when engaging in oral sex. It is typically used as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina during cunnilingus or between the mouth and the anus during anilingus. A piece of plastic wrap (such as Saran™ wrap) may also be used as a dental dam; Saran™ wrap has been tested by the FDA and CDC and found effective in preventing the transmission of virus-sized particles, although “microwave-safe” wrap may be ineffective. Latex condoms may also be cut to form an improvised dental dam. Medical gloves. Gloves made out of latex, vinyl, nitrile, or polyurethane may be used as dental dams during oral sex, or to protect the hands during mutual masturbation. Hands may have invisible cuts on them that may admit pathogens that are found in semen or vaginal fluid. Although the risk of infection in this manner is thought to be low, some people use gloves as an extra precaution. Gloves also make mutual masturbation more comfortable by preventing sharp fingernails from accidentally scratching the genitalia. Another way to avoid contact with blood and semen is outercourse (non-penetrative sex), or forms of penetration that do not involve a penis, such as the use of dildos (when cleaned or covered with condoms).
Ineffective methods
Note that most methods of contraception (birth control) other than the barrier methods mentioned above are not effective at preventing the spread of STIs.
The spermicide Nonoxynol-9 has been claimed to reduce the likelihood of STI transmission. However a recent study by the World Health Organisation~ http://www.who.int/en/ has shown that Nonoxynol-9 is an irritant and can produce tiny tears in mucous membranes, which may increase the risk of transmission by offering pathogens more easy points of entry into the system. As a result condoms with a Nonoxynol-9 lubricant are not to be promoted. However it is better to use a condom with Nonoxynol-9 than no condom at all.
Coitus interruptus (or “pulling out”), in which the penis is removed from the vagina, anus, or mouth before ejaculation, is not safe sex and can result in STI transmission or pregnancy. This is because of the formation of pre-ejaculate, a fluid (which may contain sperm) that oozes from the urethra before actual ejaculation. In addition, open sores on either partner can permit transmission Also see unsafe sex practices, Facts were current at time of publishing.
