Myth Busted: Only a Minority of People Are Into BDSM
Introduction
If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re “normal” for being curious about BDSM, you’re not alone. There’s a pervasive myth that kink is rare — that only a small, fringe group of people enjoy bondage, dominance, submission, or other alternative sexual practices. The truth? BDSM is far more mainstream than most people realize. In fact, it may be that not being kinky is less common than you think.
Let’s dig into the numbers, explore why this myth persists, and understand why your interest in kink is actually more normal than you might assume.
Myth 1: BDSM is rare
Reality: While no global census of kinksters exists, available research paints a surprising picture. According to a 2014 Smithsonian article referencing a study by Durex, 36% of Americans reported using masks, blindfolds, or bondage tools during sex. That’s over a third of the population — and that’s just a slice of what BDSM encompasses.
The survey didn’t even include people who engage in spanking, nipple play, light domination, roleplay, or toy use. So the actual number of people incorporating kink into their sex lives is almost certainly higher.
Why the myth persists: Part of the misconception comes from secrecy. Many people explore kink privately, and social stigma or embarrassment keeps it out of public view. Because you don’t see it, it feels rare — but in reality, it’s common.
👉 Tip: Don’t assume your desires are “weird” or rare. Chances are, plenty of others share similar interests — you just might not have met them yet.
Myth 2: Only extreme kink counts as BDSM
Reality: Popular media often dramatizes BDSM, showing only chains, whips, and high-intensity scenes. In reality, BDSM exists on a spectrum. Light bondage, roleplay, spanking, dominance/submission dynamics, sensation play, and even playful teasing are all part of BDSM.
Engaging in BDSM doesn’t require extreme acts — and many people enjoy a mix of “vanilla” intimacy and kink without feeling the need to dive into the most hardcore practices.
Why the myth persists: Movies, TV shows, and pornography tend to highlight the most visually dramatic or extreme forms of kink, giving the false impression that anything less isn’t “real” BDSM.
👉 Tip: Start where you feel comfortable. Even small explorations, like handcuffs or blindfolds, count as part of the broader BDSM spectrum.
Myth 3: Most people stick to vanilla sex
Reality: Many people experiment with kink at some point in their lives. The line between “vanilla” and “kinky” is often blurred — something as simple as playful spanking, roleplay, or light restraint is considered part of the BDSM spectrum.
Research shows that sexual curiosity is common, and adults often explore a variety of sexual expressions over time. BDSM is simply one way to explore intimacy, sensation, and trust.
Why the myth persists: Vanilla sex is often portrayed as “normal” and the default, while kink is seen as fringe. This cultural framing can make kink seem rare or abnormal, even though many adults engage in it privately.
👉 Tip: Embrace curiosity. Exploring kink doesn’t make you abnormal — it makes you human.
Myth 4: Kink is only for certain types of people
Reality: BDSM isn’t limited to a particular gender, sexual orientation, or personality type. Introverts, extroverts, men, women, couples, singles, LGBTQ+ individuals — all kinds of people enjoy kink.
One of the biggest misconceptions is that there’s a “type” of person who enjoys BDSM. In reality, desire for power exchange, sensation, or roleplay cuts across demographics.
Why the myth persists: Stereotypes in media and mainstream culture often depict kinksters as extreme, edgy, or hypersexualized, which misrepresents the diversity of the community.
👉 Tip: Don’t self-select out of kink because you feel you don’t “fit the mold.” Kink is about personal desire and consent, not conforming to a stereotype.
Myth 5: Kink is taboo or socially unacceptable
Reality: Social stigma still exists, but BDSM is increasingly mainstream. Many adults experiment privately with kink, and the rise of online communities, forums, and educational resources (like CollarNcuffs.com) has made it easier to explore safely and openly.
Far from being abnormal, BDSM is simply one of many ways people express sexual curiosity and intimacy. Statistically speaking, the idea that only a tiny minority of people are kinky doesn’t hold up.
👉 Tip: Normalize your desires. The more you understand that kink is common, the less shame and hesitation you’ll feel exploring it.
Conclusion
Interest in BDSM is far more common than the “fringe hobby” myth suggests. According to research and surveys, kink is mainstream, with a wide spectrum of practices embraced by millions. Your curiosity, whether it’s light bondage, spanking, roleplay, or psychological power exchange, is normal, healthy, and shared by many.
BDSM is not rare — non-kink might be the exception. Embracing your desires, exploring safely, and communicating openly with partners is the best way to enjoy the diversity of sexual expression available to adults today.
✨ Call to Action
Curious about exploring BDSM safely and confidently? Visit CollarNcuffs.com for guides, community support, and resources to help you embrace your kinks without shame — no matter where you fall on the spectrum. Join the fun! Whether you’re a curious newbie or a seasoned pro, our courses cater to all levels. You’ll find yourself enriched with knowledge that not only fuels your fantasies but also promotes safety and consent in every encounter. Plus, where else can you enjoy such sexy wisdom without spending a dime?
