Unsafe sexual practices include, but are not limited to:

1.) The passing of any bodily fluid or material from one individual to another.

This first and most basic practice includes virtually all sexual activity, therefore, in order to engage in a normal sex life, one must use circumspect caution about what activities are acceptable and with whom.

If you have a lover and have known this person for a protracted period and both of you have reasonable assurances that neither of you have strayed to assignations with outsiders, and if you both take HIV tests regularly (twice a year), then the likelihood that that either of you will infect the other is virtually nil. But, even in this very cautious hypothetical example you still could contract type C hepatitis if your sexplay includes ingestion of feces or vomitus. (For some people it does.) Or, in a less extreme variant, a long dormant herpetic infection might appear and transfer without notice.

The question naturally arises: “What are safe sexual practices?” This is a tricky question to answer. The problem comes from the mounds of legal liability that return to haunt anyone who has the chutzpah to step forward and declare some practice to be safe. There are many lists of do’s and dont’s that are so specific that they can never address the plethora of human sexual experiences. In practice, safety becomes a matter of common sense.

While oral sex, including the swallowing of semen, has lately been considered by many self-appointed authorities to not be a vehicle for HIV, if you spend your days kneeling naked in the men’s room of a porno store taking on all comers, you would be engaging in an unsafe practice. There are people who behave this way and they risk infection from all manner of STD’s as well as other diseases which are transmitted via urine, skin and blood. This leads us to the second unsafe sexual practice:

  • 2.) Engaging in sexual contact with multiple partners and with unknown partners

The numbers will eventually get you. It’s a lottery and you stand a better chance of winning (losing really) if you have 365 entries a year instead of 3 or 4. You need to pick your partners carefully, and what you find out over cocktails in two hours will simply not be enough information. Offering yourself as a Bukkake target in a bath house may sound thrilling as a fantasy, but it brings real dangers along for the reality ride. Of course, you might do stuff like this for years with no adverse results. Some people buy lottery tickets every week and never win either, but odds playing is a form of gambling, and at least in Lotto, you are only out a buck. Next to masturbation, frottage (rubbing someones genitals through the clothing) is the least dangerous activity, although you could get a rash. Lying naked together and manipulating each others genitals is usually OK, but penises get drippy and vaginas get wet and it all rubs off onto you. This may not be a problem unless you have a teeny tiny cut on your skin, or a rash, which then becomes an access point to your circulatory system. Licking and sucking are a major part of sex, and for the most part, healthy saliva and a generous dose of stomach acid will act as a bar to most viruses. If you recently flossed, however, you might have made a gum bleed a little and then, there’s that superhighway again, right into your body. Everything discussed to this point simply requires your judicious screening of the candidate for your sexual fun. It would not be smart to tempt fate by giving head to a guy you just met on the day you had a wisdom tooth extracted. However, most people get to play at least to the oral stage without having to face death, if they are careful.

After this, things get a bit dicey. Deposits into the vagina and into the anal cavity are like injections into your body. These areas are rich in blood vessels and are uniquely equipped to engage in chemical transfers into the bloodstream. The penis is also a blood filled organ that easily suffers friction injuries. Ergo:

  • 3.) Penetrating the vagina and anus without a condom

This is a premier way to transfer any STD. Condoms are cheap, easy to use and do not impede sexual frenzy. In fact, virtually nothing impedes sexual frenzy. Latex and poly condoms protect against HIV, genital herpes, and pregnancy. Natural lambskin condoms (like Fourex Brand) are good only against conception. Their membranes will pass disease. If you are unsure, read the package! Many people engage in the practice of barebacking. It is unsafe, unless you know the history of your partner. Always use a rubber and be (relatively) certain.

Taking anything into your body, by mouth or other orifice, compromises the integrity of your person. We take it so for granted by breathing, drinking, eating all the time, that we are not focused on the idea that we may be poisoned. Poisoning isn’t only the realm of an old witch with a green potion. It can come in the form of a hot load from a hard cock, and be very desirable to you until the full effects are known. Therefore, we come to this last unsafe practice:

  • 4.) Openly engaging in sex without first clutching to your intellect.

This article on “Unsafe sexual practices” incorporates some text from Wikipedia. Article by MissBonnie CollarNcuffs.com ©

Related Articles:

Safe sex practices – Safe sex practice
Condoms – dedicated to the prevention of AIDS/HIV.

Safe Sex

safe sex banana with condom on it

Terminology

Recently, and mostly within the United States, the use of the term safer sex rather than safe sex has gained greater use by health workers, with the realization the grounds that risk of transmission of sexually-transmitted infections in various sexual activities is a continuum rather than a simple dichotomy between risky and safe. However, in most other countries, including the United Kingdom and Australia, the term safe sex is still mainly used by sex educators. Because these terms are virtually synonymous with each other, they will be used interchangeably throughout this article.

Focus on AIDS

Much attention has focused on controlling HIV, which causes AIDS, through the use of condoms, but each STI presents a different predicament. However, sex educators recommend that some form of barrier protection as a harm reduction measure should be used for all sexual activities which might potentially result in the exchange of body fluids.

Safe sex precautions

(also see unsafe sex practices)

Abstinence

Sexual abstinence, while it virtually eliminates the risk of STIs or pregnancy, is technically not a method of pursuing “safer sex”. Solitary masturbation (including so-called “phone sex” and “cybersex”) is also completely safe.

Controlling social factors

  • Outside of total abstinence and masturbation, proponents of safer sex recommend that some of the following methods can minimize the risks of STI transmission and pregnancy during sexual activity.
  • Monogamy. However, be aware that many monogamous people have been infected with sexually-transmitted diseases by non-monogamous partners, partners who use injection drugs, or previously infected partners.
  • Knowing your partner(s), especially their STI status.
  • Treating existing STIs and infections of the genitals or mouth (which may increase the chance of transmission).

Communicating with your partner. Being assertive in saying what you want and don’t want. This includes discussing beforehand what is acceptable and what is not to avoid “heat of passion” decisions

  • For those who are not monogamous, reducing your number of sexual partners, particularly anonymous sexual partners, will also reduce your potential exposure to STIs.
  • Not using recreational drugs, including alcohol, in a way that increases the likelihood you will be negligent of other safer sex guidelines.
  • Preventing fluid exchange:Avoiding any contact with blood, vaginal fluid, and semen of the partner:Use condoms. Condoms cover the penis during sexual activity. They are most frequently made of latex, but can also be made out of polyurethane for those who have a latex allergy, or they can be made out of animal intestine. Polyurethane is thought to be a safe material for use in condoms, since it is nonporous and viruses cannot pass through it. However, there is less research on its effectiveness than there is on latex. Any condoms made out of animal skin or intestine, such as Trojan NaturaLamb, are not thought to be safe because they are porous and viruses such as HIV can pass through them.

Female condom.

This condom is inserted into the vagina prior to intercourse. It is also sometimes used for anal sex. Dental dam. A sheet of latex (originally used for dentistry) for protection when engaging in oral sex. It is typically used as a barrier between the mouth and the vagina during cunnilingus or between the mouth and the anus during anilingus. A piece of plastic wrap (such as Saran™ wrap) may also be used as a dental dam; Saran™ wrap has been tested by the FDA and CDC and found effective in preventing the transmission of virus-sized particles, although “microwave-safe” wrap may be ineffective. Latex condoms may also be cut to form an improvised dental dam. Medical gloves. Gloves made out of latex, vinyl, nitrile, or polyurethane may be used as dental dams during oral sex, or to protect the hands during mutual masturbation. Hands may have invisible cuts on them that may admit pathogens that are found in semen or vaginal fluid. Although the risk of infection in this manner is thought to be low, some people use gloves as an extra precaution. Gloves also make mutual masturbation more comfortable by preventing sharp fingernails from accidentally scratching the genitalia. Another way to avoid contact with blood and semen is outercourse (non-penetrative sex), or forms of penetration that do not involve a penis, such as the use of dildos (when cleaned or covered with condoms).

Ineffective methods

Note that most methods of contraception (birth control) other than the barrier methods mentioned above are not effective at preventing the spread of STIs.

The spermicide Nonoxynol-9 has been claimed to reduce the likelihood of STI transmission. However a recent study by the World Health Organisation~ http://www.who.int/en/ has shown that Nonoxynol-9 is an irritant and can produce tiny tears in mucous membranes, which may increase the risk of transmission by offering pathogens more easy points of entry into the system. As a result condoms with a Nonoxynol-9 lubricant are not to be promoted. However it is better to use a condom with Nonoxynol-9 than no condom at all.

Coitus interruptus (or “pulling out”), in which the penis is removed from the vagina, anus, or mouth before ejaculation, is not safe sex and can result in STI transmission or pregnancy. This is because of the formation of pre-ejaculate, a fluid (which may contain sperm) that oozes from the urethra before actual ejaculation. In addition, open sores on either partner can permit transmission Also see unsafe sex practices, Facts were current at time of publishing.

This article on “safe sexual practices” incorporates some text from Wikipedia. article by MissBonnie © Collarncuffs.com

Related Articles:

Unsafe sex practices – Unsafe Femdom practices
Condoms – dedicated to the prevention of AIDS/HIV.

Myths

MYTH: BDSM is abuse.

FACT:  BDSM is not abuse. The participants in BDSM are loving, caring, communicative, consensual adult partners that know the risks of what they do and the pleasures they can receive from doing them.  The actions used in consensual BDSM are negotiated, involve the communication of limits and boundaries that are not to be crossed and instill the use of a safeword that stops all action as soon as it is spoken. Everything is fully agreed upon by all parties involved.
Abuse is a pattern of controlling and manipulating the actions, thoughts and life of another person without their consent. The tactics of control (physical abuse, psychological and emotional abuse, economic abuse, and/or sexual abuse) used by batterers are not used in the context of a consensual, negotiated BDSM relationship and cannot be stopped with a safeword.
BDSM is Safe, Sane and CONSENSUAL…..Abuse is NEVER consensual.

MYTH: BDSM is all about pain

FACT: The assumption that it is all about pain is because that is the most prominent and the most conflicted with mainstream thought. Pain isn’t enjoyable to all people and you don’t have to enjoy pain to be into BDSM. Maybe you only like bondage, or maybe it’s the power exchange that you are really drawn to. Either way it doesn’t have to involve pain at all. For those that it does involve pain, they also enjoy other aspects of the BDSM lifestyle.
People are wired differently. Studies have shown that sexual arousal stimulates endorphin production (naturally occurring hormone that masks pain and produces feelings of euphoria). That production can also be stimulated by BDSM. This gives rise to the concept of pleasure/pain. Some submissives get enjoyment in the thought that they are accepting pain for their Dominant. Others simply enjoy the heavy sensations. They can often go quite a long time and can achieve an endorphin high that is remarkably similar to orgasm.  Almost all of BDSM play is not about the pain, but the excitement that comes from the sensation of the pain and mentally pushing past those barriers to reach that state of total bliss.
BDSM is about enjoyment, stimulation, pleasure, and most of all, trust.  It is about eliciting emotions through activities that may appear harmful but are actually carefully orchestrated.  BDSM is never done with the intent to harm or endanger and never done in anger or times of stress.
While some players seek pain in a manner that is pleasurable to them, many other players seek sensations and stimulation through a variety of other forms of BDSM. The range of actions in BDSM is quite broad and most participants do not enjoy all of the activities or roles. In fact, many BDSM practitioners prefer cross-dressing, bondage, mild spankings and control, known as Dominance and submission. For many it is being able to give up control and be under the will of another that gives them the most pleasure.

MYTH:People in BDSM are into pain and like to hurt each other.

FACT: BDSM activities are regulated between partners by means of intense negotiation, the setting of limits and activities partners will not engage in and the use of safewords.
Part of the allure of BDSM is the appearance of danger. Partners may be bound, harsh looking implements are utilized and emotions may run high.  However, BDSM practices are performed in such a way that the element of danger, while still present in appearance, is practically eliminated.  Partners – even casual partners – have respect and care for each other, and work together to avoid physical and emotional trauma.
While the use of a BDSM ‘toy’ or ‘implement’ may look painful, pain is perceived differently from person to person. A light flogging may be too intense for one person, while a heavy flogging may be perfect for someone else.  Some people who practice BDSM are truly into pain, but the majority of practitioners utilize increasing doses of strong physical sensation through BDSM activities to accomplish a higher goal – the production of those endorphins within the body!  The intensity of the sensations are carefully controlled by communication between partners in order to assure the submissive partner’s comfort and to prevent the experience of unwanted pain.

MYTH: People who engage in BDSM were all abused as children.

FACT:  While this seems to be an assumption made mostly by psychologists or counselors, there is no documented proof that BDSM activities, or the desire to engage in them, come from childhood abuse or trauma.  Like all communities, there is usually a small percentage of individuals for whom this may be true, but for the majority, it is not, and sweeping generalizations tend to further stigmatize our diverse needs.
While some people who practice BDSM may be survivors of childhood abuse there are many more that have never experienced abuse in childhood or in adulthood. There is no cause and effect relationship between childhood abuse and becoming a BDSM practitioner.

MYTH: Only gay men practice anal sex.

FACT: A person’s interest in anal play has nothing to do with attraction to the same sex. It has nothing to do with sexual orientation or gender identity, and every thing to with enjoyment of the sensations created. People in the BDSM lifestyle can be Gay, Straight, Lesbian, Bisexual or Transgender, just as Vanilla people can be any of those as well. Both men and women engage in anal play in the BDSM Femdom lifestyle. Just as sexual orientation is who you are, the desire to engage in anal play is also who you are and what you need to be. Partnerships range from Male Dom/male sub to Male Dom/female sub to Female Domme/male sub to Female Domme/female sub.

MYTH: The Dominant partner is a control freak.

FACT: People who take on a Dominant role in BDSM / Femdom like to engage in CONSENSUAL control of a partner for the partner’s pleasure.  Dominants negotiate with their partners and then engage in the type of ‘control’ their partner desires.Don’t confuse Dominant with domineering. A domineering person is somebody overbearing who likes to control others all the time, whether the other person likes it or not.In BDSM, the submissive willingly gives up the control to the Dominant, who takes that control, combines it with his own energy and redirects it back to the sub. Each gives up something to the other so that, together, they can achieve the pleasures they are both looking for.  

MYTH: I am a Mistress, so everyone must respect me.

FACT: Says who? Anybody can give themselves a title. It’s what we do and how we handle ourselves that defines us. This is not about giving yourself a title, it’s about the attitude behind the title. Which would mean more?… someone calling you Master / Mistress because you ordered them to; or calling you Master / Mistress because they respect you for your love, honor, compassion and integrity? 
Ultimately submissives have the final say. They can submit or not, they can give respect or refuse you.  No one deserves a rank or title just because they hold the Dominant role or because they say so. Respect is earned, not assumed. A Mistress who has to demand respect, has not earned it and is therefore not truly deserving of it.

MYTH:The submissive partner is weak.

FACT: Not by a long shot! The majority of submissives involved in BDSM /Femdom are strong, self-sufficient individuals, who have intense and high-powered occupations. They feel the need to practice the submissive role because it is a means of escape for them from having to make decisions. It is very common to find lawyers, doctors, CEO’s and politicians who practice the submissive role. They know what they want and participate of their own free will. There are a lot more submissives on the scene than Dominants.
This is probably one of the biggest myths about the BDSM/Femdom lifestyle. The vanilla society perceives submission to be a weakness because they do not understand the dynamics of submission. The opposite is what is true.  It takes a very strong person to trust completely in another person to the point of turning control of their body, mind, heart and life over to them. In fact, being a submissive and being able to trust someone like this, makes them even stronger and more confident. It is indeed one of the strongest things a person can do.
Men who are submissives, are especially some of the strongest and most confident in the lifestyle. They are able to come to a Dominant and fully submit when the world around them tells them they should be in control. They are able to take down the walls that they put up for the outside world and become who they truly wish and need to be.

MYTH: All submissives are expected to act a certain way.

FACT: Why? If everyone was the same, this would be a very boring world indeed.  The best way to act for all participants, whether Dominant or submissive, is to be yourself. Submissives don’t all come prepackaged from a BDSM/ Femdom training camp!
Submissives in a relationship would be expected to act how their Master has trained them to act. This varies from couple to couple. To each their own, there is no right or wrong. Unattached submissives should be polite and courteous, as this will go a long way towards finding a Dominant and getting that play date.
At private clubs, submissives are expected to act a certain way, as are Dominants, but everyone should know that going in. Some clubs can be pretty formal, but most tend to be more laid back. As long as the club rules and safe-sane-consensual are followed at all times, everyone is allowed to do their thing. Some couples are very formal, while others prefer to be more relaxed. Neither is necessarily right, just different. Private club rules have to be followed, but they would never try to squash a person’s individuality.

MYTH: BDSM is all about sex.

FACT: BDSM can be intensely sensual, but it doesn’t have to be intensely sexual. To say that sex never occurs in BDSM is a lie. It’s just that it doesn’t have to. BDSM play is sexual for some but this is not true for everyone. There are some who practice BDSM who do not experience any sexual arousal. Many people have wonderful, high as a kite experiences without any sexual contact at all. They find that endorphin high through the broad variety of BDSM activities.
Being in the scene also doesn’t mean you are automatically going to get laid. Using a position in the scene to coerce sex, non consensually, is NOT what BDSM is all about.

MYTH: People who engage in BDSM Femdom are all promiscuous.

FACT: Just like in all communities, there are some members of the BDSM Femdom community who are a bit freer with their bodies and will engage in any type of activity with just about anyone, but the majority of people within the BDSM community, especially those who are married or in long term relationships, are monogamous in one way or another.
Some partners are completely monogamous – they do not play or have sex with any other people in any way whatsoever. Other partners will engage in physical play, like flogging, spanking, or teasing with others, but will not engage in any type of sexual activities with them.  And others will engage in physical play and some sexual activities, but not anal or vaginal penetrative sexual activities.

MYTH: BDSMers are all people who live on the fringes of society.

FACT:  It is believed that because BDSM isn’t widely accepted that the only people who participate are lower class, criminal types, secretive people and others that aren’t accepted in mainstream openly. This is simply not true. The need to be involved in BDSM is in your blood, it is the way a person is wired. There are very prominent people into BDSM, from all walks of life, all over the world.
No one is excluded. BDSM practitioners are lawyers, doctors, politicians, teachers and businessmen.  We are students, housewives, waiters, members of the PTA and that nice teller at the bank.  We go to church, spend holidays with our families and laugh at silly comedies. We have probably treated you at your local hospital, waited on you at the grocery store and walked past you on the street. We are just like everyone else.

This myth is prevalent because so many people have to keep their sexuality a secret because of the negative repercussions of society. Discrimination is still strong when it comes to BDSM, mostly because people don’t understand it and don’t want to understand it. It is not abuse, it is not violence. So many states still rule BDSM and Femdom behavior as assault and that pushes people even further into secrecy.
It’s who we are, not where we came from or what we do that should matter in our lives. But sadly, ignorance towards BDSM/Femdom runs rampant in this world.

Resource Article : MissBonnie

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