PROTECTING YOUR FAMILY while PRACTICING FEMDOM
If you are an SM lifestyler, or practice femdom, having children means you have given hostages to the state. How do you protect your sexual privacy and still be good parents?
Often, the result of a strong union between partners is – a child.
How this affects your relationship depends a lot on how you practice BDSM. The questions are many, and the answers are not easy to find. Having a child means more than a drain on your paycheck. The real investment is time and the demands placed on the partners. Having a baby means never having to say you’re sleeping. We have all heard about the two o’clock feedings. But there is something even more important than the loss of sleep and money. That is the loss of privacy. It means a drain on the time you spend together. This is the hardest part of having children, but it is not impossible for relationships to overcome. The way to do that is to do again something many of us have already done, and that is to look inside yourself and your relationship. Ask yourself some basic questions. What is your time commitment to BDSM? Are you a lifestyler, or do you indulge in your fantasies once a month or so? As a Dominant, do you expect your sub to be kneeling when you get home? Can you handle it when that stops as the baby becomes a toddler? Do you have a safe place to lock your toys?
Perhaps the first consideration should be this: Don’t show your kid anything that you wouldn’t want to explain to your child’s kindergarten teacher. What you do with your partner is your business, but the State will make it its business if it thinks your lifestyle affects the kids adversely. Keep the toys well locked away, safe from kids and intruders alike. Remember, home videos made public were just an embarrassment before. Now they might be evidence in a State’s custody case against you.
How does your lifestyle affect the child? Would it be good for the child to live in a BDSM household? We can’t have little Johnny knowing what we do, can we? Well, no. And yes. While I agree that there are a lot of things you can’t do around your children, it doesn’t mean that the Dominant has to give up control, either.
Most unions, whether they be a business or a marriage, usually benefit from strong leadership. It is all right for Johnny to understand that Dad (or Mom) is in charge. A structured environment is good for children. If you are giving them that, you should feel proud, not embarrassed. It is how you go about it that is important.
I was talking to a friend of mine who is a therapist. She made a good point. A benevolent dictatorship would be good for the child. A more Stalinesque relationship might be more harmful to the child. It is important that you present a strong and loving relationship to your children.
Also, remember that as children grow, their needs change. The time they want, and the type of attention they want changes. As they do, you have to examine how that will affect your relationship.
All of this seems a little apocalyptic, but it really isn’t as black as all that. There are some concrete things you can do to ensure your continued and strong relationship.
First, redefine your limits. Decide what you feel comfortable with around your baby. How far can you go, and not breach that wall between parent and lifestyle, or play?
Second, develop code words that the two of you understand. Calling a sub “’slave”’ around the child might not be a good idea, but if it is understood that when the word “baby” is said with a special tone, the Dominant is calling the other “slave,” you can do that instead. Speak a secret language of love between the two of you. “Sugar” might mean “’Sir,” and ““darling”’ might mean “This is an order!” You can expand on this.
Plan times that you can get away and play. Parents in general forget to plan for time away, but it is much more important in a BDSM relationship. Even if you are a parent, and you feel your are owned by the “little Monster”, remember the importance of the relationship that gave your little Monster their life.
Get a couple of babysitters that you can count on. Decide how often you will get away. Once a month? Twice a month? Every third weekend? You decide based on finances and the time the child needs. Let your babysitter know when you would like them, and how often. Plan for sound and play. Try to keep your playroom and the kids bedroom as far apart as possible. If possible, make that a different room than your bedroom. If you have the money, soundproof your bedroom/playroom. Make sure you have secure locks from the inside and outside. Children are great for barging in unannounced. and you have a right to privacy, too.
Having a child is a challenge in any relationship, and even more so to a BDSM relationship. It does change your life, but if you understand that, and are willing to accommodate it, you can overcome the problems and still have a strong and supportive BDSM partnership.
Resource Article : David Comoss CollarNcuffs.com © additions MissBonnie (parent)
Navigating D/s Dynamics and Parenthood: Balancing Femdom and Family Life
Navigating D/s Dynamics and Parenthood: Balancing Femdom and Family Life
Understanding the Intersection of D/s and Parenthood
The interplay between Dominance and submission (D/s) dynamics and parenthood presents a unique canvas for exploration and understanding. For individuals practicing femdom, integrating the responsibilities of parenting with their lifestyle choices can pose significant challenges. The complexities inherent in nurturing a family while maintaining a D/s relationship necessitate a thoughtful approach that respects both dynamics. In this context, parents must navigate their roles as caregivers while also fulfilling their needs as Dominants or submissives, creating a delicate balance.
One of the primary concerns for those engaged in D/s relationships is the effective communication of parenting styles with their partners. Open discussions about expectations, boundaries, and the divergence in parenting philosophies are crucial. Such dialogues help in establishing a common understanding that respects the principles of both parenthood and the D/s lifestyle. Creating a framework that allows for maternal or paternal roles within the context of D/s can foster clarity, ensuring that all parties—including children—are aware of the underlying dynamics at play.
Additionally, establishing boundaries is paramount. The presence of children alters the D/s relationship, often requiring adjustments to the traditional roles that partners assume. These adjustments are essential not only for the integrity of the relationship but also for promoting a positive environment for the children. As parents, fostering a nurturing atmosphere while simultaneously catering to the needs of a D/s dynamic can create opportunities for growth and understanding. The conscious effort to compartmentalize duties and desires allows the individuals involved to maintain their identities as both parents and practitioners of femdom.
In recognizing the intersection of D/s and parenthood, individuals can begin to articulate strategies that help sustain both their parenting responsibilities and their D/s dynamics, ultimately enhancing their familial and relational satisfaction.
Protecting Your Family: Navigating Legal and Social Challenges
Engaging in a Dominant/submissive (D/s) lifestyle while managing family responsibilities can introduce various legal and social challenges that require careful consideration. One significant aspect to address is privacy rights. Individuals practicing D/s may face scrutiny regarding their lifestyle choices, especially from outside influences such as schools, neighbors, or extended family members. It is essential to establish boundaries that protect both the privacy of adult activities and the well-being of children involved to mitigate potential adversities.
Custody considerations can also emerge as a critical factor for parents actively participating in D/s dynamics. In the unfortunate event of a custody dispute, a parent’s lifestyle choices may be scrutinized, potentially impacting court perceptions. Understanding the legal landscape in one’s jurisdiction, including how alternative lifestyles are viewed by family courts, is crucial for safeguarding parental rights. It might be beneficial to consult with legal experts in family law who are familiar with issues surrounding alternative parenting models to equip oneself with necessary knowledge and strategies.
Moreover, it is vital to prepare for societal perceptions related to D/s practices. Dealing with questions or backlash from peers or even family members requires not only understanding but also tact. Approach such situations with transparency and education, explaining the consensual nature of D/s dynamics and emphasizing the psychological and emotional safety found in these relationships. Communication within the family unit, discussing boundaries, and offering age-appropriate explanations to children about the relationship dynamics can also foster understanding and acceptance.
Ultimately, navigating the complexities of D/s practices within a familial context involves a balanced approach, prioritizing the emotional safety and legal protection of all family members. By employing strategies to safeguard privacy and effectively managing external perceptions, families can create a supportive environment that honors both their lifestyle choices and their responsibilities.
Balancing Sexual Privacy with Parenting Responsibilities
In navigating the complexities of D/s dynamics and parenthood, it becomes essential to establish a plan for managing sexual privacy while fulfilling parenting responsibilities. The dual role of a parent and a partner in a Dominant/submissive relationship can lead to challenges that require careful consideration and open communication. To maintain a healthy balance, it is important to set clear boundaries within the home, which respect both the unique dynamics of a D/s relationship and the nurturing environment necessary for raising children.
One effective strategy is to create designated times and spaces for adult activities. Establishing certain hours as private time for the couple allows for intimacy without the interference of parental duties. This can also help foster a deeper connection, which is vital for both partners. Communicating openly about these time allocations can prevent misunderstandings and ensure that both partners feel valued and respected in their needs.
When it comes to discussing sexual identity with older children, sensitivity is key. Providing age-appropriate explanations about relationships and respecting various forms of intimacy can promote understanding and acceptance within the family. This may involve explaining the concept of consensual adult relationships and emphasizing the importance of privacy. It is crucial to frame these conversations in a manner that centers on respect for personal choices, thus fostering a supportive environment.
Lastly, integrating practical tips for managing time and space is fundamental. Parents can benefit from establishing schedules that dedicate specific times for personal pursuits alongside family activities. This dual focus not only emphasizes the importance of personal expression but also reinforces the commitment to the family’s overall harmony. Balancing these requirements is challenging, but with intentional planning and open dialogue, it is possible to nurture both familial and personal relationships effectively.
Creating a Supportive Community: Resources and Relationships
For individuals navigating the intricate dynamics of D/s relationships while also fulfilling the responsibilities of parenthood, establishing a supportive community can prove invaluable. Engaging with like-minded individuals not only fosters a sense of belonging but also provides essential emotional and practical support. Online forums dedicated to femdom and D/s dynamics are excellent starting points for connecting with others who share similar experiences. These platforms often feature discussions on various parenting challenges, allowing participants to exchange advice, tips, and strategies for balancing their lifestyle with family life.
In addition to digital platforms, local meetups and community events can offer face-to-face interactions that promote a sense of solidarity among parents navigating femdom relationships. Such gatherings may allow individuals to share their journeys, learn from one another, and foster friendships that can endure over time. It is essential to seek out these events in order to build strong networks of support, particularly when faced with societal misconceptions about non-traditional relationship structures.
Advocacy groups focused on the femdom and wider BDSM communities can serve as excellent resources as well. These organizations often offer workshops, seminars, and educational resources aimed at helping individuals understand and navigate the complexities of their relationships while parenting. Attending these sessions can arm participants with knowledge, tools, and strategies tailored to address the specific challenges they may encounter.
Ultimately, the value of nurturing relationships within a supportive community cannot be overstated. It allows individuals practicing femdom to share their triumphs and struggles, reinforcing the understanding that they are not alone in their experiences. By prioritizing connections with others who comprehend the delicate balance of D/s dynamics and family life, one can cultivate a more enriching and fulfilling existence both as a partner and a parent.
