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What Are Relationship Agreements?
We all make relationship agreements, even if we don’t realize it. These agreements often take the form of unspoken understandings or explicit commitments we express verbally. While it might seem a little silly to consider, these agreements play a significant role in shaping our Femdom interactions and expectations in both casual and serious relationships.
The Role of Verbal Agreements
In many exclusive relationships or when couples decide to move in together, agreements about behaviors, responsibilities, and boundaries usually arise. These can range from household chores to emotional support practices. Regardless of their formality, these agreements are crucial for establishing harmony and clarity. After all, the vows couples take during marriage are, in essence, solemn agreements aimed at nurturing a lifelong partnership.
Protecting Yourself with Prenuptial Agreements
Recently, we’ve seen an increasing number of individuals, especially men, opting for prenuptial agreements as a way to protect their interests. While some may view this as pessimistic, it’s merely another form of a relationship agreement, providing a safety net for both partners. However, it’s essential to understand that agreements, whether verbal or formal, are only as strong as the commitment of those involved. The effectiveness of an agreement hinges on the ability of both parties to uphold their end of the deal and enforce any necessary repercussions for non-compliance.
Ultimately, acknowledging the existence of these relationship agreements can lead to healthier, more transparent partnerships. It’s about understanding, respecting, and enforcing the agreements we make with each other, ensuring mutual support and growth.
Emotions and the Complexity of Love
Formalizing a relationship might feel like taking the fun out of love. After all, when we develop chemistry with someone, the last thing we want is to get bogged down in rules and regulations. Matters of the heart are inherently emotional, making them hard to govern. Instead, people often rely on the hope that their partner will naturally act in consideration of their shared happiness. This belief can ultimately lead to disappointment, illustrating the challenges that arise when unspoken expectations collide with reality.
Beliefs and Expectations in Relationships
Many individuals in relationships express sentiments like, “If he loves me, he will naturally do what I want.” This comment reflects a common belief that love should seamlessly guide actions. However, when instincts fail to align with expectations, disillusionment often follows. While faith-based relationships may come with predefined rules, the emotional, organic nature of love often overshadows the desire for agreements in secular partnerships.
In conclusion, the hesitance to establish formal relationship agreements often stems from a mix of emotional complexity, individual beliefs, and innate expectations. By understanding these factors, we can begin to foster better communication and ultimately create partnerships that address the needs of both individuals, without the pressure of formal constraints.
Understanding the Importance of Balance
When it comes to relationships, establishing a solid agreement is essential. A well-structured agreement ensures that both partners feel heard and valued. Making an agreement that works for both is crucial because it helps to avoid misunderstandings and promote growth. When entering into discussions about your relationship, it’s imperative to put everything on the table—what each party wants and how they envision their future together.
Initiating the Conversation
The journey of forming a tangible agreement begins with open communication. Start by discussing your individual desires and life directions. Assuming you have already gone over strategies clearly, you can transition to creating a framework for your agreement. This means outlining broader themes or values that resonate with both of you and then detailing actionable steps toward those ideals.
Assigning Responsibilities and Ensuring Accountability
Once you have decided on the main elements of your agreement, take the time to clarify who is responsible for what. This clarity helps to make progress tangible and measurable. It’s also important to establish a method for tracking progress, discussing changes, and addressing any failures. All relationship agreements need to include a way to handle non-performance, as it is vital for maintaining trust and fostering growth within the partnership. By ensuring that both parties equally contribute to and uphold the agreement, you pave the way for a balanced and harmonious relationship.
The Preamble
Title: Relationship Agreement. This agreement is about how we want to proceed as a couple. We ______________ and ________________ (your names) enter into this agreement on ________________________ (date) together. We want this agreement to be the guiding principles for our relationship and reflect our design for the ideal relationship we are working for. This agreement is for a period of __________ (1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 5 years).
State your ideals
If you have not yet done so take the time to create a list of what make a relationship ideal for each of you and together decide what you would like to include in your agreement. These should be broad ideas. Be sure not to get overly specific.
We state that our ideal relationship includes ____________________________ and does not include _________________________.
Affirm your faith, hope and/or guiding principles including your relationship strategy.
Faith, hope and guiding principles acts as the moral compass you are using to direct your lives. It might be something directly aimed at your relationship or broader. [Examples: We believe we are better as a couple than we are apart. We believe we are on the earth to make it a better place to live. We believe our mission in life is to promote opportunities for women to lead. We believe we are setting a new social norm.]
We affirm our ______________ (faith or guiding principles) in that we believe _____________________________________
Make an agreement in your arrangement to review this agreement from time to time
This will bring you both closer together. All agreements need a way to be reexamined / adjusted and a way to reaffirm that you still believe in them. There is no better way than having a way to affirm, review and make changes.
We agree to meet as a couple each ______________ (month, quarter, year) to read and make adjustments to this agreement. We further agree that at points of stress _____ (she, he any) may call for a meeting to read and make adjustments. Further, after making changes we agree to verbally affirm our agreement.
Declare that you whole hearted believe in what you are undertaking
We declare and affirm our belief that a female led relationship is right for us. As such we have agreed that the role of the woman in our relationship is ______________ (leader, head, superior*) and the role of the man is __________________ (supportive, follower, servant, inferior**)
*Don’t be afraid of the word “superior” Tt does not affirm that women are superior just that there is a hierarchy of decision-making. **Inferior does not describe a person or gender here but a hierarchal relationship.
Grant and limit responsibility and the authority as you want it
You will need to choose how to divide who does what and when and other areas of life she or he will control or share; and how you intend to protect the non-leader by limiting the decision making power of the leader. Votes and vetoes can be listed her as well.
We agree that she will lead/control/manage __________________________________________ (list the activity and action) and he will lead/control/manage _______________________________ They both will share management of ____________________________ (list all). She is limited by/to ______________________________________ (or just insert the words “no limits imposed” if there are none). He is limited by/to ______________________________________. They are limited by/to ___________________________________ or otherwise agree to make decisions equally by vote.. If you have vetoes list them here.
Decide how you are both going to handle conflict and change
We agree that, should conflict arise, we will first attempt to work it out by conversing together. If needed, we will create a formal document where the conflict is registered and the remediation is written. Should that fail, we are committed to enter into mediation with a mutually agreeable third party ). Both of us commit to learning from our conflict by making changes to this agreement and our communication in an attempt for less conflict in the future.
Decide what how you are going to handle non performance
Remediation (fix) is a solution to the problem most often characterized by a penalty. You will need to spend some time thinking about roles here. Think about corrective action, punishment, and how to terminate this agreement.
In the event of non performance, we agree to remediation. Remediation include the reading of this agreement where the non performance has occurred, the agreement by both parties that non performance has occurred, and the submission of either or both parties to the consequence of non performance. Further this document may be reviewed and amended upon non performance after the consequence/remediation administered, if called for by the non offending party to call out the non-performance in more detail. Failure to accept complete remediation will make this agreement null and void.
Non performance remediation for the man is ________________________________________ and may also include ______________________________________ (add an attachment if needed). The remedy will be administered no less than ___________________ (1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week set a time frame) after non-performance has been called and documented. Further, if the non-performance offense is of sufficient weight for the woman to lose confidence in her leadership, she may call for ________________________________________________
Non-performance remediation for the woman is ________________________________________ and may also include ______________________________________. The remedy will be administered no less than ___________________ (1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week) after non performance has been called and documented. Further, if the non performance offense gives sufficient to cause for the man to lose confidence in her leadership she/he may call for ________________________________________________
Decide what and how, you are going maintain and grow your relationship
We agree we want to keep our relationship vital by ________________________________________________________________________________ together
Decide what kind of formal rules, rituals and traditions you want to include and exclude
If you are going to have ceremony and/or formal rules, list them here so if they are broken you can recognize non-performance, show documentation, and seek remediation. Think this over as a starting point to solving your ideal relationship deltas. Some examples ceremonies: Exchanging/giving vows based on this agreement; A ceremony formally celebrating his acknowledgement of her leadership; A surrender ceremony celebrating his release of control; A commencement ceremony to begin FLR. Some rules examples: He will remain humble and teachable; He will cease looking at any kind of porn; He will obey her at all times. Some examples of traditions: As a sign of respect for her leadership, he will defer to her in public situations. As a sign of their FLR, he will always refer to their relationship as Mrs. and Mr. As a sign of his respect for her leadership, he will openly acknowledge her leadership. As a sign of obedience, he will kneel before her on command. Remember, he has a fantasy and you may, too. This is where you can play up to that if you are willing.
We agree to celebrate these ceremonies as cherished _______________________________________________________ (see attachment for ceremony details). We agree to the following formal rules ____________________________________________________________ (see attachment for ceremony details). We agree to the following traditions _______________________________________ (see attachment for details)
Keeping a fresh and renewed relationship
This can include measurable time together/apart, pursuit of hobbies and interests, including/not including friendships and family, workshop, seminars, vacations, showing appreciation, anniversaries, dating and focus time as examples.
We agree we want to keep our relationship vital by ________________________________________________________________________________ together
Don’t forget to keep things SSC
We agree to the following in the event that he cannot perform:
- A safe word.
2 A safe gesture. One each for pause and stop.
His safe word for pause is _______________________, His safe gesture for pause is ______________________. His safe word for stop is ___________________. His safe gesture for stop is ________________________. She maintains the right to proceed if the pause safety is reported when she feels she needs to push boundaries. Any time the stop safety is reported, she will stop, investigate injury, and seek immediate medical attention at his request. If stop is used, and no injury reported this agreement is null and void.
Resource Article : Si (mon) 2024
Additional resources :
Contracts, Negotiations and rights