Few if any vibrators come with instruction manuals, let alone ones for Femdom use. On the one hand, you might think that no manual is necessary – after all shouldn’t you know how to use a vibrator? But if you’ve never used one, how exactly are you supposed to know how? Most people do manage to stumble their way to pleasure with a vibrator, but if you’re looking for a few helpful hints here is a beginner’s guide for women on how to use a vibrator. Looking for vibrator tips for guys?
Time Required:
For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More of alone quiet time in a warm room. Take the lady aboves suggestion and make sure your alone
Consider when and how you’re using the vibrator. Are you relaxed and in the right frame of mind for a sensual experience? Remember, for women in particular, arousal has way more to do with where you are mentally than what’s happening to your body. Make a special time to use your vibrator, when you know you won’t be disturbed, and give yourself the luxury of exploring and letting go. Get yourself in the mood: read some tasteful erotica, watch a dirty video, or just fantasize…whatever you prefer, there are lots of options out there. It’s often said that the biggest sex organ is between your ears. You can’t just flip the switch and expect the vibrator to do all the work.
Here’s How:
Get to know your vibrator.
Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof be careful not to get any water near the battery case.
Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws return your vibrator before you use it. MissBitch
Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator)
. How to dull a loud BUZZZZZZ :Some battery-powered vibrators come with a foam, rubber, or cardboard insert that fits in the battery compartment to keep the batteries in place and prevent them from rattling. If the insert was cardboard, you may have accidentally discarded it while unpacking the vibrator or changing the batteries. If necessary, you may be able to improvise a new one by cutting a piece of thin scrap cardboard to fit inside the compartment. MissBonnie.
Play with the lights on.
Not every woman will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a your submissive. After all if you don’t know your own body, how can you expect to train to your submissive to pleasure you in the way you like, or instruct him. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.
Getting hot to trot.
Get comfortable with the feel of the vibrator on your body. Run the vibe along your body without even turning it on. Notice how it feels. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. If the vibrator is a hard material this will probably feel nice. If the vibrator is a soft rubber and doesn’t feel smooth against your skin, try the above with your clothes on. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a gentle way of introducing your body to the vibrator.
Turn on and tuning in..
Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Again, you can start with some clothes on if you like. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the vulva and clitoris, don’t just jump to the main event. Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, or in circles around your breasts and nipples.
»>Latter you could maybe think about adding this method to a Sensual massage provided to you by your submissive. MissBonnie
Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired unlike a submissive, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. Most women use vibrators for clitoral stimulation and many women report that one side – or even one portion – of their clitoris responds to vibration more than another. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight (in fact some vibrators come with flashlights). Don’t rush, leaving a vibrator in place can allow it to establish sensation connections that previously weren’t there.
Play with the speed of the vibrator.
Most vibrators have multiple speed settings (or at least two settings). Always start on a low setting and work your way up.
If a vibrator feels too strong at first you can put a towel between you and the vibrator, or just press it lightly against your body. MissBitch.
You may find that on some areas a lower speed is all you need, and on others stronger is better. Some vibrators have “pulsation” settings, but you can also play with turning the strength up and down in rapid succession.
Play with pressure.
Experiment with applying different pressure. You may enjoy a lot of deep pressure with clitoral stimulation or you may want to hold a vibrator just slightly above the body. You can press your vibrator deep into your skin and massage the muscles while also feeling the stimulation of the motor. With most battery-powered vibrators, the more pressure you apply the lower the vibration feels. Also the stronger you hold your vibrator, the more vibration gets absorbed by your hand. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down, and find what works for you.
On point or flat out.
Most vibrators will have a point or an edge. Try touching yourself with the finest point of the vibrator. Next put the widest or flattest part of your vibrator against your body. When you focus on one point, the vibrations can feel more intense than when the vibration is being dispersed around a wider area. You may find that the feel of the vibrator on your labia, or above your clitoris feels awesome. Because the clitoris extends inside the body, deep vibration in this area can feel great, and different than direct clitoral stimulation.
Relax your breath, allowing yourself to sigh a few times. Did you know that your breath is the key to allowing yourself to relax and have good orgasms? Pulse the vibrator back and forwards on your genitals, at the same time moving your pelvis. If you bend your knees you will find a gentle rocking motion will take place. If you want to have more fun try doing your Kegels at the same time. Experiment with different positions. You do not just have to lie only on your back, you can use a vibrator in all the varied positions you have sex in. MissBonnie
Using a vibrator for penetration.
Most women use vibrators for external stimulation, but as long as your vibrator is safe for penetration there’s no reason not to try it.
»>A vibrator that is safe for penetration will be smooth, have no rough edges, and won’t absorb bodily fluids. MissBonnie
In almost all cases. it’s recommended to put a condom over a vibrator if you’re using it for penetration. You should also use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on your vulva and just inside your vagina.
Exploring penetration with a vibrator.
Start slow with penetration and get yourself aroused by using the vibrator externally first. While far more nerve endings are outside the vagina than inside, lots of women enjoy penetration with a vibrator. Some women will use a vibrator to find and stimulate the g spot. It has also been hypothesized that nerve endings in the cervix respond to stimulation and pressure. Pressing the vibrator against the top of your vagina (such as pressing it towards your belly) may provide g spot stimulation or even indirect clitoral stimulation.
Using your vibrator with a partner.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe, using it on yourself to add stimulation during sex play with a partner. You can use the vibrator on your partner (or vice versa). You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. Vibes even have uses when doing cunnilingus However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.
Concerns for use with partners
Some couples have concerns about adding a vibrator to their sex lives. You may be afraid she will start to like it “more than me” and she may be concerned it will be impersonal and cold. These fears are normal, but unfounded. Talk about any such worries, and keep open communication about them as you explore.
A couple may be afraid that the vibrator will become the focus of most of their sex, and mean less intercourse. In reality a vibrator often means more sex. Most women find orgasm takes a certain amount of time and energy, even when they feel sexual desire. If a woman doesn’t feel she has the time and energy necessary to have an orgasm, she may shy away from sex, or choose to have sex “just for him.” Because a vibrator can make orgasm faster and easier (but not necessarily better) a woman may choose to have sex, or to have sex for both of them, when she would have said no before having a vibrator. The vibrator can be a back up – the woman is able to have sex because she knows her husband can use the vibrator if need be. Sometimes once she gets going she has no need or interest in the vibrator – but knowing it was there made it easier for her.
If vibrators were addictive, they could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways.
Finally, some folks are afraid that the woman will become “addicted” to the vibrator, and unable to orgasm without it. Despite years of warnings about this, it has not come to pass. Some couples have used a vibrator to give the wife her first ever orgasm, and then have used what they learned from that to give her orgasms in other ways. If it were addictive, it could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways. We have talked to couples who have used a vibrator for a decade or more, and several of the woman feel they are now more orgasmic without the vibrator than before they started to use it.
Using a vibrator on him:
While a vibrator is stimulating when used on a man, it’s much less so than for a woman. He will probably want a faster speed from the start. A light touch is unlikely to be the best – firmly pressing the vibrator to the penis will be more stimulating. Use a lubricant and focus on the glans, especially the underside. Try moving the vibrator in small circles or in small back and forth strokes. You may or may not be able to cause him to climax with the vibrator alone – if not, try using it as a part of manual or oral play or as foreplay to intercourse.A woman can use a vibrator to stimulate a man’s penis and balls, and if it’s an insertable vibrator, his prostate (more info below). The easiest way for a woman to use a vibrator on a man is simply to stroke his cock and balls with it. She can run the vibrator along the length of his shaft and around his cock head. The base of the glands and the underside of the penis head are particularly sensitive spots. Another way to stimulate a male partner is to stroke his balls with the vibrator or to hold it directly under the scrotum. Pressing the vibrator against the perineum (the spot of skin between the balls and the bum) can also be very pleasurable. If you press into this spot, the vibrations will also transmit to the prostate.
If the vibrator is an insertable dildo or probe as we mentioned above, it can be inserted in the man’s anus to stimulate his prostate directly. To hit the prostate, insert the vibrator two to three inches into the anus and aim the tip toward the penis. Make small in and out stroking motions with the vibrator rubbing against the prostate. Prostate stimulation combined with vibration can produce very intense male orgasms and sometimes increased ejaculation. Whenever inserting anything anally, use a lot of lube, go slow, and don’t force it. Also, only use toys for anal insertion that have a flange or flared base, or something at the end to keep them from going too far in. If you insert a vibrator without a base too far into your partner’s rear and lose your grip on it, you may not be able to get it out.
What if I get a vibrator stuck in his anus (or mine!)?
People get vibrators stuck in their butts. It happens. To avoid it, never insert anything in his rear that doesn’t have a flange or wide flared base, or something at the end to keep it from going all the way up inside him as we advised earlier.
If you do get a vibrator stuck in his rear, turn it off. If the vibrator has an external battery pack, remove the batteries. Get him to take deep breaths and try to relax his sphincter and abdominal muscles. Apply as much lube as possible to his rectum without pushing the vibrator further in. Get him to bear down as you would during a bowel movement. If you can, stretch the rectum by inserting two or three fingers and spreading them. If the vibrator has wires attached from a battery or control pack, be careful when pulling on them, as they may detach. If you’re lucky, you may be able to get the tail end of the vibrator to clear his sphincter and ease it out of his rear.
If this doesn’t work, don’t persist for too long, especially if his in pain. Swallow your pride and get him to an emergency room. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but it’s not the first time it’s happened, and it’s not the strangest thing any-body’s put up their butt by a long stretch. The ER doctors will probably use a speculum to dilate his butt, and then extract the vibrator manually. In extreme cases, abdominal surgery may be required.
So, we say again, only use vibrators anally if they are designed to be used anally. Please. Your neighborhood ER techs will thank you.
The other way to use the vibrator for his enjoyment is to have him watch you use it on yourself. Most men find this extremely arousing, and it can also be very instructive for them. I personally like to instruct my submissive to look but touch ..sometime you might need to bind them to stop this .MissBonnie
If a woman uses her own vibrator on a man, she should take certain hygiene and safe sex precautions. Using a vibrator on a partner and then using it on yourself without cleaning it first is the equivalent of having unprotected sex. If you get a man’s pre-ejaculate or semen on your vibrator and insert it in your vagina, you run the risk of pregnancy or getting an STD. If you use a vibrator on a partner’s rear, you need to clean it thoroughly before using it on your vagina or inserting it vaginally to avoid the risk of a yeast or bacterial infection.
Using a vibrator during intercourse:
You can slip an egg or bullet between your bodies in just about any face to face position. You want it between her outer labia, over the clitoris.
You can slip an egg or bullet between your bodies during intercourse.
In this location the women will feel the vibrator directly, and the man will feel it indirectly. The way you move a couple moves will change how strongly the vibrator stimulates you. Adjust the speed to something comfortable YOU. You can buy a stretchy ring made for sex this way – the ring goes around the base of the penis, and holds the vibrator in place against the man’s body just above the penis.
In a few positions the husband can use the vibrator on his wife’s clitoris during intercourse. Most rear entry positions allow this, as well as “spoons” (both on their sides, husband behind wife) and some sitting positions. The husband can use the vibrator as he thrusts, or he can lay still and use it. These techniques may be of use to couples where the woman finds it difficult to orgasm during intercourse, or the man suffers from premature ejaculation.
It is also possible for the woman to use the vibrator on herself in some positions. Some men will be uncomfortable with this, and some women won’t want to do it. It’s a matter of what the couple finds acceptable and mutually enjoyable.
We’ve shared some general suggestions about how you might bring a vibrator into play in the bedroom, but please realize that everyone is quite individual in their likes and dislikes. Don’t be afraid to do something that doesn’t work on your way to finding something that does work. Play and experiment until you find something that you both will enjoy. MissBonnie and MissBitch
Tips:
G spot vibrators:
Some vibrators have a curved tip and are sold as g spot vibrators. These toys can make it easier to reach the G spot but they are no guarantee that you’ll enjoy g spot stimulation. Also, any firm vibrator can be used to stimulate the g spot.
Safety tip: vaginal or anal penetration.
If you want to insert a vibrator anally, only use vibrators designed for anal play penetration. The toy should be smooth and seamless, and should have a flared base to prevent it from slipping all the way in.
Anal penetration requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lube.
Remember MissBitch and MissBonnie’s Anal Mantra: Relaxation, lubrication, stimulation
Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a male partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.
Vibrator strength trick.
If you’re using a vibrator on a partner and you want to vary the strength of the vibration you can do this by grabbing the vibrator tighter and getting a larger grasp on it. When you do this your hand absorbs more of the vibration and to the person on the other end it feels like the vibration is getting a bit lower. Loosen your grip and the strength will come back.
Take your batteries out.
A good tip is Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in the vibe may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments.
»>take it from an experienced user, vibes have the annoying habit of switching one when you least expect it, at the most inopportune times~like your Mother over lunch, or the local parish priest dropping in for visit. MissBonnie
Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case destroying your vibrator.
How long will the batteries last in my vibrator?
Depending on the vibrator device and what kind of batteries you’re using, you could get anywhere from 50 hours of use to just 10 hours. Smaller devices with smaller motors drain less current. Larger vibrators or ones with multiple moving parts will drain batteries more quickly. If you have a high-drain vibrator that you use frequently, it might be worthwhile to invest in some rechargeable batteries.
They don’t hold a charge as long as disposable batteries, but you also won’t have to spend five bucks every time they’re used up. MissBonnie
You can extend the life of your vibrator’s batteries by removing them from the toy when it is not in use and storing them separately.
How long can a vibrator be used before throwing it away?
A vibrator’s durability depends on its quality, type, and what it’s made of. A vibrator’s lifespan can be anywhere from a few months to several years. In general, don’t keep an inexpensive plastic or rubber vibrator for more than 3 years. More expensive electrical vibrators can be used until they quit working.
If a vibrator is in good running condition and the material is durable, there’s no reason to discard it until it stops working. However, inexpensive vibrators have a limited lifespan due to the quality of the case and the components. In cheap vibrators, the wiring frays, the motors jam; in some cases the outside is actually the most durable part of the device. More than likely, your vibrator will give up the ghost before it becomes a hazard to anyone.
Nevertheless, at a certain point, you may want to retire your mechanical buddy either for safety or aesthetic reasons. Inexpensive vibrators, if they last that long, should not be used for more than a few years. Longer than that, and the casing material is going to be getting gummy and worn out if it’s made of rubber, silicone, jelly, or Cyberskin. Plastic vibrators can get brittle, and, especially if they have been knocked around a bit, they’re subject to cracking.
Higher-end electrical vibrators, like the Hitachi Magic Wand, can last several years depending on how much you use them. The only reason to discard an electrical vibrator is if the motor develops problems, i.e., if it starts overheating, sounding funny, or smelling odd. If you use rubber or silicone attachments with your electrical vibrator, you may want to replace them after a few years if you use them frequently or if they show signs of age.
How should I store my vibrators?
(notice we used an ‘S’ we know you’ll end up with more than one )
Keep it in a secure, dry location where it will not be moved around a lot. Under the bed in a shoe box is usually a safe bet. Take the batteries out when you store it.
You want to keep your toys clean and safe, so don’t just chuck your vibrator under the bed with the dust bunnies, where the dog might find it and mistake it for a chewy toy. Keep them in a closed container. A shoe box is fine. Wrap them in a clean t-shirt or pillow case. Put the box in a spot where it won’t be moved around a lot, under the bed, in a nightstand drawer or closet.
It’s always a good idea to take the batteries out of your vibrator when storing it for two reasons: it prolongs the life of the batteries, and it eliminates the risk that the vibrator may get accidentally switched on.
My vibrator isn’t giving me an orgasm any more. What’s wrong?
There could be a couple of reasons for this. The vibrator or the batteries in it may be wearing out, so it is less effective. Alternately, you may be getting “desensitized” to the sensation of that particular vibrator. Some people find they need to switch to a different vibrator at a certain point. Also, other psychological or physiological factors may be affecting your sexual responsiveness.
If you’re not responding to your vibrator anymore, first make sure that the vibrator is working correctly. Are the vibrations still as strong? If not, the motor may be wearing out, or the batteries may be wearing out. Test it out with some fresh batteries and see if that doesn’t put the buzz back in it. It may be time for a replacement.
If there’s nothing wrong with the vibrator, your sexual responsiveness may have changed. Some people report “vibrator burnout,” feeling like they become “immune” to their vibrators. Your body may simply become used to the sensations that your vibrator supplies, and they are no longer as stimulating, or you may just be bored with your vibrator. Try shopping for a new model, and find something that really excites you or provides a totally different form of stimulation. If you’ve been using a Hitachi Magic Wand, try getting a vibrating dildo or vice versa. Try experimenting.
Some vibrator users also report a temporary decrease in sensitivity in their genitals after prolonged vibrator use. You may need to take a vacation from your vibrator and go back to manual stimulation for a while. After taking a break and coming back to it, your vibrator may seem fresh again.
Finally, there may be physical or psychological factors that are affecting your sexual response. Some medications, especially antidepressants, have sexual side effects that make it difficult to reach orgasm. Stress, depression, fatigue, and overworking can also make it hard to get turned on or to climax. If this is a persistent problem, talk to your doctor.
Article: MissBonnie and MissBitch for The Beginner’s Guide to Vibrators © CollarNcuffs.com
Many, many thank yous to Cle-Andria for her help with images, allowing us to destroy her shop shelves in the name of kink, and her wealth of information.
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