CyberSkin® is unquestionably the most realistic material on the market. Quickly warming to body temperature and mimicking the elasticity and softness of human flesh, CyberSkin® has the amazing look and feel of real skin. This material in its many shapes and forms is a stunning replication of the human composition.
Flexible, spring-like bonds promoting a unique skin-like texture, memory recovery, resiliency and flexibility.
In the physical make-up of CyberSkin®, the atoms bond with high resiliency. This means that the atomic memory of CyberSkin® allows the product to be malleable, like real flesh, as well as instantly recover to its original shape. Because it is created to retain its shape, the CyberSkin® product can last a lifetime with reasonable care and maintenance, always delivering high performance and realistic feel. Also, with the added revolutionary molding process of Dual Density®, CyberSkin® products can simulate the softness of skin and the rigidity of erectile tissue and/or bone. In manufacturing, the molding machines use computerized injection that enables varying densities of CyberSkin® to be strategically placed throughout the product. This means that in a product shaped like a vagina, you can actually feel the softness of vaginal lips and the hardness of pubic bone. And in a penis, you can feel the softness of skin with the rigidity of erectile tissue, creating the most realistic sex accessory.
CyberSkin® Care Instructions
Wash after each use with liquid anti-bacterial soap and water
Pat dry with soft, cotton towel and allow to air dry completely
To properly maintain your CyberSkin® product, generously apply Renew to restore the original soft, non-sticky texture
Keep CyberSkin® toys separate from other toys when not in use
Store CyberSkin® in a plastic bag with a small amount of Renew in a cool, dry place
WARNING:
DO NOT use mineral oil or oil based products as a lubricant as it may cause deterioration of CyberSkin®. Water-based lubricants or climax® brand Silicone lubricants are ideal. If any other lubricant is used, clean toy immediately after use to prevent deterioration. Add Renew to extend the life of the toy.
Article: Contactcyberskin.com for further information
Our bondage and Femdom sex toys bring us so much enjoyment. The better we look after for them, the longer they’ll give us pleasure. The following are some techniques to keep your toys in tip top condition
CLEANING BONDAGE SEX TOYS, USED FOR MONOGAMOUS
All sex toys should be cleaned periodically even if they don’t come into contact with bodily fluids. Even something as simple as blindfolds should be cleaned. Makeup and eye goop can get on it and that can be transferred to another person or infect the same person’s eye if there’s too much build up.
METAL
Metal devices (clamps, handcuffs and some vibrators) are washed with hot water and antibacterial soap (in order to prevent rusting) and dried with a clean towel.
BATTERY OPERATED TOYS
Sex toys which run on batteries should never be dipped in water, because water is very likely to damage the device. The fact is that the breakage is not always noticeable and at the same time it really can cause very severe consequences, up to electric shock. To remove dirt from microscopic chinks and holes on the device’s surface use a soft brush, for example a toothbrush or a soft brush for nails cleaning.
RUB, SILICONE, AND PLASTIC
Sex toys made of rub (soft skin), silicone and plastic must be washed in the same way, but these materials require more delicacy. Dry them in the open air, rather than with a towel. Silicone is the easiest to clean. Silicone is resistant to heat. You can clean them in different ways : one way is to boil your toys for 2 to 3 minutes in plain water. -If you have a dishwasher, you can wash SILICONE toys in there also. Warm water and a soft soap will also do the trick (do not use corrosive soaps, use gentle soaps.) To make cleaning of sex toys which are supposed to be inserted inside the body (dildos, vibrators, plugs) easier put the condom on these devices every time you use them. Never talc devices made of soft synthetic materials. (talc powder has been linked to cervical cancer).
VINYL, TRUESKIN CYBERASKIN AND JELLY
these toys are less resistant than silicone toys, we recommend: Warm Water and a soft soap (Do NOT boil ! or use HOT water)
LEATHER
Just as there are all kinds of leather, there are all kinds of ‘cleaning’ so what is good for one may not be needed for another item. With leather to be especially careful with is suede. Don’t get it wet! It will ‘mat’ down easily. There are brass brushes made to bring the nape up, but it is never quite the same again.
On smooth leather I use Saddle soap for general cleaning. First I wipe the leather down with a damp cloth. Removing all loose surface dirt. Then I use a shaving brush to work up a lather (I prefer the solid saddle soap over the liquid). I swirl this into the leather, then while it is still damp, I wipe it off. Repeat, only this time let it dry all the way. Later brush it off with a shoe brush. This is good cleaning and conditioning for most smooth leathers. For added conditioning, I like Fiebings, “Care-4”. I think it is better and cheaper than Lexol. Smells better too! I use a spray bottle to put it on. Working it in, by bare hand rubbing. Then, after a few minutes, wipe off any excess. Later buff it with a brush or hand rub with soft cloth
WOOD
Sex toys made of wood are more difficult to clean and to take care for. Paddles and other similar devices are often provided with a water-repelling coating to prevent the wood from bacteria penetration. Such surfaces are easily cleaned with a soft fabric, hot water and antibacterial soap. Then these sex toys must be properly dried. Alternatively they can be washed with a disinfectant. But wood is a porous material, therefore the disinfectant will inevitably soak into the device. As the result the remainders of the disinfectant will activate when the surface gets wet ( such as sweat, vaginal/seminal fluids). This can cause skin irritation. Therefore you had better throw the toys away as soon as they get dirty and buy new ones. These sex toys are not expensive and can be easily purchased.
All devices should be dried in the sun for a better disinfection. Before putting the toys away for storage make sure they are completely dry. Remove the batteries and keep them separately. All sex toys must be kept in a cold dry place. To protect the toys against dust, put each device into a special case. Metal sex toys should be kept in small bags made of a soft fabric, for example velvet. Keep clamps separately in order to prevent damaging of other sex toys. Make sure a device is not damaged every time you are going to use it. Never use a toy if you are not sure it is safe to use. Proper cleaning and care will make your toys serve you long.
If you’re sharing your sex toys with a few people and it comes into contact with bodily fluids, make sure it is cleaned and disinfected before it comes into contact with a new person. If you plan to play with more then more one person, you should have separate toys for each person. That’s the safest, label each toy to keep track of who’s who. Remember, this is all part of being a responsible sexually active adult.
If you plan to insert any part of the sex toy (handle of whip or paddle, etc.) into your partner’s orifice, cover it with a condom. It is also recommended by some health sites such as aids foundation say a 10% dilution of bleach will suffice to kill the Aides bacteria.bleach is one of the ideal sterilizing agents for the control of pathogenic organisms (i.e., germs, viruses like AIDS and bacteria that make us sick). It’s commonly available, not very expensive, and most laboratory studies have indicated that a soak in a 10% solution of bleach (9 parts water to 1 part bleach) for 10 or 15 minutes will reliably kill the AIDS virus.
However, at least one study has suggested that some disease organisms may survive a rinse in 10% bleach solution, particularly if the soaking isn’t long enough. In addition, most of the laboratory studies have been applied primarily to less porous and degradable substances than leather – most specifically to shared drug syringes.
Scientists are definitely aware that sex and shared needles are common vectors of transmissions (ways people get sick) for the AIDS virus. They are much less commonly aware of the special issues around leather and what we do with it in the BDSM community, and it is important to look at their study results carefully if we want to better understand our risks.
Leather has some issues and problems all its own, and it is not (as far as I know) a specific subject of any of the studies done on the survivability of the AIDS virus. It doesn’t stand up very well to extended or repeated soaks in bleach water, which creates some special questions and potential problems for us since we do use leather toys which have the potential to break skin and which may be used on more than one person. Most leather toys can be cleaned with soap and warm water, although leather toys need additional cleansing and reconditioning so the leather doesn’t get ruined. Using a mixture of 70% rubbing alcohol and hydrogen peroxide will disinfect and kill bacteria on leather, that soap and water may not get to. Soak the parts that came into contact with bodily fluids and let stand and few minutes. Rinse and dry thoroughly. Then use a leather conditioner to revitalize your toy. Alternatively Leather toys, especially expensive ones such as floggers, are much more difficult to adequately clean if they are exposed to potentially infectious body fluids. Bleach will damage leather fairly quickly, though your leather toys will last longer if professional leather care solutions are used in addition to the bleach solution. Purchase leather care and conditioning products at saddle and tack shops or retail leather clothing outlets, and make sure you have the right one for the type of leather that was used to make your toy.
Depending on its weight and manufacture, some leather will actually survive one autoclaving, but some won’t, and it’s an expensive proposition to find out which is which. I doubt any leather could survive repeated autoclaving. (Hint: rawhide *definitely* does not make it, and dyes fade.)
More leather-friendly (but much more expensive) alternatives to bleach or boiling, a hospital sterilizing wash, or another full spectrum viricide/antiseptic, sometimes in combination with an extended period of being left dry and unused as an additional precaution.
Some experiments have been done on the viricidal and antiseptic properties of various types of radiation ranging from simple sunlight to more complicated forms, but the jury still seems to be out on the results. Certainly some exposure to sunlight won’t hurt, and may even help, if some scientists’ theories turn out to be right. Microwaving on low power has also been suggested, but I am not certain of the efficacy of this technique and I am certain that it can cause scorching and warping.
Humidity is definitely an important factor in the length of time that a pathogen can survive outside a human host, and a dry environment is much less pathogen friendly than a humid one. There are some bacterial spores known to be able to survive an extended dry period, but most authorities agree that the virus that causes AIDS does not survive well outside the human body for any significant length of time.
Toys made of metal, plastic derivatives or fibreglass are not easily damaged by a higher percentage solution of bleach or a longer soak time, so they are easy to clean – a 15 minute soak in bleach water and a rinse is adequate for us to be sure that there are no infectious pathogens left viable (alive) on the toy. Toys made of wood, some kinds of rubber, cloth or synthetic fibre, such as the nylon cracker on a single tail, stand up reasonably well to up to a 20% or even 25% solution of bleach and water, but may degrade over time. It is a good idea to wash these toys with soap and water to remove traces of the bleach solution after soaking. Some toys may be autoclaved if real sterility is desired. A few sources recommend washing “things” in a detergent solution before as well as after the soak in bleach (or disinfectant of your choice). This becomes more important as the level of body fluids on your toy increase as higher concentrations of organic matter can prevent penetration of the disinfectant and can sometimes inactivate some disinfectants.
Contagious body fluids include blood, plasma, semen, vaginal fluids and saliva. Urine and faeces can also carry pathogens. Simple skin contact, even if the skin is sweaty, is not considered sufficient as a vector of direct (or indirect) transmission of any known pathogen. So it is generally safe to use a leather flogger on more than one person’s back or ass in succession, assuming that no one has broken skin. Washing in between with saddle soap (or a suitable suede care product if you own a soft flogger) is not a bad idea for general hygiene, but hardly a dire necessity if the instrument has touched only unbroken skin.
This is not always a safe assumption. Pimples or “zits” are effectively broken skin, and they are not an uncommon occurrence. Likewise minute scratches, scrapes or pinpricks; horsehair whips are particularly good at creating these tiny breaks in the epidermis, and stiff, scratchy-edged leather can do the same kind of almost unseen damage. But how likely is it in reality that an infection could be transmitted this way?
Ignoring for now the vectors of airborne transmission and animal bites, the way the diseases we tend to worry about get transmitted is by direct or indirect contact with infectious body fluids. Direct contact means that you touch the fluid directly. Indirect contact is what we are trying to prevent by cleaning our toys. If something that has touched infected fluid touches you, that is indirect contact.
Four conditions need to be present for transmission of the disease to occur:
1. The disease pathogen must be present. i.e., the person whose body fluids you have contacted must have the disease (or more accurately, must harbor the pathogenic organism, whether or not disease symptoms have developed). If neither person in a couple has any disease, you can exchange any body fluid you want except for urine and faeces in complete safety. Waste products have some special problems and associated risks even if you ingest your own, though urine tends to be a problem only in quantity or over an extended period. Warning: it is not always easy to know if you are completely free from infectious disease, even if you have been recently tested, as some diseases can have a long incubation period.
2. The infected fluid must contact mucus membrane (wet places) or broken skin in order to enter your body. “Infectious pathogens will not cross intact skin; however, they will enter through cuts and mucus membrane quite easily.” (Brady Emergency Care, Grant, Murray and Bergeron, sixth edition) Note that broken skin does not always have to be obvious – a pimple, a hangnail, a minute scratch or a paper cut is broken skin. You have mucus membrane in your eyes, nose, mouth, rectum and urethra or vagina.
3. The recipient must be vulnerable to the disease, i.e., not immune. Since there is not currently an effective vaccine for AIDS (though there is one for most strains of hepatitis), you can assume you are not immune and you are vulnerable to disease.
4. There must be a sufficient quantity of the pathogen present in viable (alive) form to cause a disease. Under field conditions (i.e., in your bedroom or dungeon, outside a laboratory), we don’t know what constitutes a sufficient quantity. We can guess that aeration of minute specks of vaporized fluid, such as is caused in the operating room by surgeons using high speed cutting or drilling instruments, or by a single tail cracking after it has drawn blood, is probably not a sufficient quantity. We can guess (but cannot be sure) that fluid that has been outside the body for a significant length of time is less likely to contain viable disease organisms. We can make that guess a lot closer to a sure thing by applying proven viricidal and antiseptic solutions for a length of time known to kill 100% of pathogenic organisms. However, one drop of blood can definitely carry a high enough concentration of pathogens to transmit successfully if the other conditions are fulfilled.
A result is that the contact must persist for an adequate length of time for the pathogen to be transmitted. Under field conditions (i.e., in your bedroom or dungeon, outside a laboratory), we don’t know what is an adequate length of time. We are pretty sure that washing off the infected fluid as soon as possible does reduce the chance of transmission.
Because materials like leather, cloth and hair are porous, they provide a more pathogen-friendly environment for organisms to survive in. Complete sterilization is more difficult, and by hospital standards of real sterility basically impossible. Well made cloth will actually stand up to heavy duty cleaning better than most types of leather, which are easily damaged by anything that significantly changes their chemistry.
What does that mean in your dungeon, since you are (presumably) not using your flogger to perform any major surgeries? Basically, you can’t seriously break skin on one person with a leather toy and then clean it sufficiently to break skin on a second person without some *awfully* heroic efforts in between that will probably destroy the flogger if done correctly, i.e., in a way that causes the sterilizing agent to completely penetrate the leather and remain there for a length of time sufficient to kill any organisms.
How much of a risk are you taking by re-using a flogger that has broken skin? Again, the factors that control disease transmission are presence of pathogen (somebody actually has to have the disease), amount of pathogen (was it barely a smear, or really wet with blood, and did you reduce the amount of fluid or the viability of the pathogens in the fluid by wiping, washing, drying or applying a sterilizing solution?), vulnerability to the pathogen (if you’ve been successfully vaccinated against hepatitis, you can’t get those strains) and point of entry (infected fluid must contact mucus membrane or broken skin) and length of exposure time (how fast did you wash it off).
Those are the factors that influence your risk level. You can choose the level of precaution you want to take. Since AIDS is a fatal disease, most people prefer to err on the side of caution.
You are free to choose your own level of risk, and the smartest way to do this is to keep well informed and up to date on what the factors are that actually control your risk of getting a disease or giving it to your partner.
DISCLAIMER:Please consult your doctor or a trusted medical authority for recent, up to date information if you are concerned about most accurately assessing your level of risk. I have done my best to accurately research this information, but I am a lay person, and not a practicing medical doctor.
Choosing the right vibrator will always be primarily about personal preferences. But there are some questions you can ask yourself before you choose a vibrator that will help reduce the risk of choosing one that you’ll use once and then will forever collect dust in your sock drawer:
1 How do you want to use your vibrator: external clitoral stimulation, penetration, or both?
2 What should your vibrator be made out of, and what safety concerns are there about materials?
3 How strong a vibrator should you buy: mild to super strong, single speed or variable?
4 How much do you want to spend on a vibrator: $5 or $500, the selection is out there for every budget?
5 What do you want your vibrator to look like?
As you go through the images and descriptions below you’ll see lots of examples of vibrators, and get tips on things to think about when buying a vibrator.
External Stimulation Only,
While the majority of vibrators are phallic shaped most people use vibrators for external stimulation. If you’re looking for a vibrator for external stimulation only, you should consider buying a hard plastic vibrator.
Hard plastic vibrators:
tend to be stronger than soft rubber vibrators
are easier to clean
don’t bend when you press them against your body allowing you to better adjust the pressure of the vibrator
External hard plastic vibrators:
can be small bullet or egg style vibrators, or longer wand style vibrators.
They may be battery powered vibrators or electric (plug-in) vibrators.
The main differences between vibrators for external stimulation are:
the strength and quality of the motor
the type of vibration (there is buzzing, thumping, rotating, pulsating, and more)
the texture of the vibrator (ridges, bumps, smooth)
shape, size and color
If this is your first vibrator it is probably best to choose one with variable speed.
G Stimulation
While most people use vibrators for external stimulation others love the feeling of a vibrator for penetration. More people choose soft rubber vibrators for penetration, as they find hard plastic vibrators too jarring. But there are no rules to buying the right vibrator, and as long a vibrator is safe for penetration (no sharp edges) then you can use a hard or soft vibrator for penetration. More and more vibrators for penetration are designed for g-spot stimulation. These vibrators will have a curve near the tip, which makes it easier to stimulate the g-spot as soft rubber toys can bend when inserted into the vagina.
Aside from g-spot vibrators, vibrators designed for penetration differ mainly in:
their size
the material they are made of: jelly rubber , silicone , cyberskin, or vinyl
the strength and quality of the motor
the type of vibration (buzzing, thumping, rotating, pulsating, and more)
whether it is single speed of multi-speed, and what type of switch is used to adjust the speed
Most of these differences can be decided based on personal preference, but if this is your first vibrator be sure not to pick something too big, and to choose one that has variable speed. If you are concerned about the safety of sex toy materials, you can either stick with silicone or hard plastic , or if buying a less expensive rubber vibrator, be sure to use condoms each time you use the vibrator.
Penetration And External Stimulation
external and internal vibrators
If this is your first vibrator, or if you are looking for something versatile, you may want to choose a vibrator that can be used for both penetration and external stimulation. There are two styles of vibrator that can be used for both. The first are straight/cylindrical vibrators that have motors near the tip of the vibrator can be good for both penetration and external stimulation. Vibrators made primarily for penetration will often have motors in the base, and these are more awkward and not that functional to use it for external stimulation. If the motor is near the tip you can easily use it for external stimulation and know exactly where the vibration is strongest in the body of the vibrator. The second type of vibrator that can be used for both penetration and external stimulation are dual action vibrators which are made for simultaneous penetration and clitoral stimulation. The most popular of these vibrators is the Japanese Pearl Rabbit , but there are hundreds of variations on this style. Because dual action vibrators only do one thing (but do it very well) they may not be the best first time vibrator. But if you’re looking for something different, or like the idea of both penetration and clitoral stimulation, they’re worth checking out. Make sure you know whether your dual action vibrator has a Japanese motor or not. Many sex shops overcharge for poor quality vibrators to take advantage of the fact that most people think dual action means better quality. This is not always the case.
Soft Surface
Soft rubber vibrators, which most people choose for penetration can be made of a variety of materials: silicone , jelly rubber , cyberskin, vinyl, and all manner of silicone/jelly mixes.
One of the benefits of any soft rubber vibrator is that it will be quieter than hard plastic, and if you drop it, it’s less likely to crack :MissBonnie
Silicone is the best quality material for a soft rubber vibrator; it is the cleanest and safest material, it transmits vibrations best (so the motor will feel stronger), it is easiest to clean, and it retains temperature better than other rubbers. The only drawback to silicone is the cost. Also you cannot use silicone based lubricants with a silicone vibrator.
Currently most jelly rubber vibrators contain phthalates and should always be used with condoms. These along with latex vibrators, which are usually filled with foam, absorb vibrations a bit more, so they tend to be milder than silicone or hard plastic. The main benefit of these vibrators is their inexpensive price.
There are some vibrators that have a hard plastic shell which is then covered in a softer material like silicone or jelly rubber. These vibrators often have the benefit of strength with the softer feel which some people prefer.
Hard Surface
Hard plastic vibrators are ideal for external stimulation, and as long as they are seamless and have no rough edges or corners, they can also be used for penetration.
Some of the benefits of hard plastic vibrators include:
stronger feeling vibration
easier to keep clean
less likely to cause an allergic reaction
they don’t bend when you are applying pressure with your vibrator
There are a few vibrators that are made out of various metals, including gold , titanium , and aluminum.
These vibrators have several additional benefits.
They have a weight to them which can be very pleasurable when used for penetration.
the material makes the vibration resonate in a different fashion, which is noticeable when using it.
Metal toys also cool down and warm up, adding another element to the sensation.
These natural materials are also very safe and clean, and easy to keep clean.
If this is your first vibrator, and you’re looking for something to use externally for clitoral stimulation, hard plastic might be the way to go.
Metal vibrators, while highly prized, do tend to be more expensive and may not be a great idea for first timers.
How Strong Should Your Vibrator Be?
Vibrators come in a wide range of strengths, from mild to supersonic. If you are buying your first vibrator what is most important is to get a vibrator that has variable speeds.
Here are some things to consider in terms of vibrator strength.
In almost all cases electric vibrators (whether they plug in or are rechargeable) are more powerful than battery vibrators. Particularly if you are looking for a vibrator that you can also use as a full body massager, electric vibrators, like the famous Hitachi Magic Wand, are the way to go. Most electric vibrators have two speeds, and the only concern can be that at the lowest speed an electric vibrator may be too strong.
Battery powered vibrators offer a wider range of strengths of vibration. With battery powered vibrators another consideration is the size of the vibrator. Smaller vibrators can feel stronger because the point of vibration is more focused and not being dispersed across a long area.
Hard plastic vibrators usually feel stronger than soft rubber vibrators; even if they have the same size motor and take the same number of batteries.
The best vibrator will be one that goes as low as you need it to for starters, but is stronger than you’re comfortable with as well. Many people find once they get comfortable with vibrator that they enjoy somewhat stronger vibrations. Of course there are others who only like mild vibration. As with everything this is a personal preference.
Inexpensive
Vibrators are not quite as sophisticated a market as cars or photographic equipment, so judging the quality range and price range is a bit more of a gamble. However as a general rule one can identify three levels of quality and price for vibrators.
The least expensive vibrators range in price from $10 to $40. These generally have inexpensive Chinese motors, are made of hard plastic or jelly rubber , and are built to not last.
Mid-range vibrators can cost between $50-$70 and are either made of a better quality material or have better quality motors, but usually not both.
High end vibrators combine the best of all worlds; quality motors, material, and design. These can range in price from $80-$200. Keep in mind that less expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t feel as good, it usually means the vibrator won’t last long, and the material may be inferior quality. But don’t let a store or website pressure you into paying more for a vibrator than you want.
If you don’t know what you’re looking for, it’s always safer to start inexpensive.
Remember to use condoms on any inexpensive soft rubber vibrators, some times the ingredients are questionable, or the country of origin doesn’t have strict manufacturing standard :MissBitch
Once you know whether you like vibration or not, you can invest in the future.
Cheap doesn’t necessarily mean useless.
High End
Vibrators are not quite as sophisticated a market as cars or photographic equipment, so judging the quality range and price range is a bit more of a gamble. However as a general rule one can identify three levels of quality and price for vibrators.
The least expensive vibrators range in price from $10 to $40. These generally have inexpensive Chinese motors, are made of hard plastic or jelly rubber , and are built to not last.
Mid-range vibrators can cost between $50-$70 and are either made of a better quality material or have better quality motors, but usually not both.
High end vibrators combine the best of all worlds; quality motors, material, and design. These can range in price from $80-$200. Keep in mind that less expensive doesn’t necessarily mean it won’t feel as good, it usually means the vibrator won’t last long, and the material may be inferior quality. But don’t let a store or website pressure you into paying more for a vibrator than you want. If you don’t know what you’re looking for, it’s always safer to start inexpensive and then once you know whether you like vibration or not, you can invest in the future
Visual
A final, but not unimportant consideration is what you want your vibrator to look like.
Other than shape and texture, do you want something that looks like a penis? Something that looks like a bunny rabbit, or a goddess? And what about the color? Many people think it’s strange to care about vibrator color, but other pick sex toys to match their sheets or their mood.
There’s no right or wrong.
Vibrators come in every look imaginable, so even if you’d like something that is vaguely phallic shaped, but not all veiny and “representational” you’ll find something.
If you’re going to use the vibrator with a partner you might want to consider what they’ll be most comfortable with, and most excited by. Some people are intimidated by toys that look like recognizable body parts, whereas others are turned on by them.
There are also all sorts of vibrators that don’t look like vibrators at all, and these can be a benefit for people with kids, or roommates, and little privacy.
Many, many thank yous to Cle-Andria for her help with images, allowing us to destroy her shop shelves in the name of kink, and her wealth of information.
On our studyBDSM training entertainment program “A taste of Cyber” it’s surprising the amount of subbies who have no idea I they could use a vibrator on themselves for play. They either thought vibrators only worked on women, or they weren’t for “guys like them.” Once most of these men gave vibrators a chance, they quickly became converts. Vibrators aren’t made for a certain kind of person, vibes are for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure.
Men in particular are offered a narrow set of sexual options, and vibrators can help expand those options and discover pleasure and orgasms you didn’t even know were in you. If you’re curious, here are some tips for men on how to use a vibrator
Time Required:
For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More of alone quiet time in a warm room.
Here’s How: Explode the myth.
Most male submissives think vibrators are sex toys for women, or Dominants only. Since you may have never thought vibrators could be for you, you may need to give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea of trying a vibrator. The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kinds of people, they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. you have those Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.
Get to know your vibrator. Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof be careful not to get any water near the battery case.
Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws return your vibrator before you use it.
Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. If you are owned make sure you request permission first, the last thing we want is you in trouble with your Domme. Are you alone? You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).
»»Dull a loud BUZZZZZZ : Some battery-powered vibrators come with a foam, rubber, or cardboard insert that fits in the battery compartment to keep the batteries in place and prevent them from rattling. If the insert was cardboard, you may have accidentally discarded it while unpacking the vibrator or changing the batteries. If necessary, you may be able to improvise a new one by cutting a piece of thin scrap cardboard to fit inside the compartment..
Play with the lights on.
Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover or your Dominant partner. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.
Getting hot to trot.
It’s a generalization, but we are going to say it any way, men probably don’t touch all parts of their body as often as women do. You may be 100% familiar with your genitals, but how well do you know your calves or thighs? When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. How does it feel to use a different amount of pressure on your nipples. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator. Vibes are for more than just genitals, the whole body can benefit.
Turn on and tuning in.
Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the penis, scrotum, ass and nipples, don’t just jump to the main even. What’s your hurry! take your time, the more time spend building to orgasm the bigger the ‘O’ . Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples. Imagine its your lover of your dreams, where would she use it? where would you like to be touched?
Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. You men are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body, but the only area capable of giving you an orgasm.
»»In fact there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure. :MissBitch.
Using a vibrator is a great way to find them. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight. Play with the speed of the vibrator. Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particular around the genitals. But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.
Play with pressure.
Experiment with applying different pressure with the vibrator. It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally. Some men find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them an orgasm without ever moving the vibrator. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down – find what works for you.
External vs. internal vibration.
Hard plastic and electric vibrators are the best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally. You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use. You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water based lubricant for any penetration play. Remember phthalates and are best used with a condom for personal safety.
Shame
Anal play is nothing to be ashamed of, although many, many people are. We started it in our earliest childhood. In fact it is generally acknowledged as the first sexually related exploration every baby does and even some fetuses do it prior to birth. Let’s face it, the odor of plain shit – but called “musk” – is used in almost every perfume and even more so in male cosmetics because it is generally known as sexually appealing. For you animal lovers out there: the scent is derived from the musk plant, not the deer. Any biologist will explain that in all mammals, the genitals and the anus were deliberately placed close together, simply because the smell of the one points the way to the other. So, if you like it, or feel attracted to it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Plus, the anus is an erogenous zone by itself, whether you like it or not. Stimulating it will cause sexual arousal Kinsey – the sexologist best know for his extensive research of the sexual behavior of both men and women – said it as follows:
»>“The contractions of the buttocks reflect, more than any one factor, the development of the tensions involved in erotic arousal.”: Kinsley
The buttock muscles are among the strongest in the human body and they come into play during almost any form of sexual intercourse and even masturbation – especially for women. Some women even masturbate just by contracting and relaxing muscles and these include the “back door”. In the event you thought anal sexual attraction is just for a few, Kinsey – in his extensive research – found that fifty (!) percent of both men and women had had some experience with anal stimulation or anal intercourse. More recent research in the USA shows that some ten percent of the heterosexual couples regularly have anal intercourse. The anal and vaginal region and the penis share the same nerve roots and this is the physiological explanation for the sexual attraction of the anus. And – coming back to erotic power exchange – anal play and intercourse to many has strong connotations with terms of dominance and submission.
External anal stimulation.
The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds extremely well to vibe stimulation. As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out. See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your back side, and your inner thighs. Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go. Once they get over the newness of the feeling many submissive men find this highly pleasurable.
Anal penetration with a vibrator.
Anal play requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant.
Start slow and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body. Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready. Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.
What if I get a vibrator stuck in my anus?
People get vibrators stuck in their butts. It happens. To avoid it, never insert anything in your rear that doesn’t have a flange or wide flared base, or something at the end to keep it from going all the way up inside you.
If you do get a vibrator stuck in your rear, turn it off (if you can reach the controls). If the vibrator has an external battery pack, remove the batteries. Take deep breaths and try to relax your sphincter and abdominal muscles. Apply as much lube as possible to your rectum without pushing the vibrator further in. Bear down as you would during a bowel movement. If you can, stretch your rectum by inserting two or three fingers and spreading them. If the vibrator has wires attached from a battery or control pack, be careful when pulling on them, as they may detach. If you’re lucky, you may be able to get the tail end of the vibrator to clear your sphincter and ease it out of your rear. If this doesn’t work, don’t persist for too long, especially if you’re in pain. Swallow your pride and get yourself to an emergency room. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but it’s not the first time it’s happened, and it’s not the strangest thing anybody’s put up their butt by a long stretch. The ER doctors will probably use a speculum to dilate your butt, and then extract the vibrator manually. In extreme cases, abdominal surgery may be required.
So, we say again, only use vibrators anally if they are designed to be used anally. Please. Your neighborhood ER techs will thank you.
Using your vibrator with a partner.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe and use it on yourself. You and your partner can use it on each other. vibe even have uses when doing cunnilingus on her. There are vibrators that fit over the penis for use during partner penetration play. You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.
Concerns: for use with partner Some couples have concerns about adding a vibrator to their sex lives. You may be afraid she will start to like it “more than me” and she may be concerned it will be impersonal and cold. These fears are normal, but unfounded. Talk about any such worries, and keep open communication about them as you explore. A couple may be afraid that the vibrator will become the focus of most of their sex, and mean less intercourse. In reality a vibrator often means more sex. Most women find orgasm takes a certain amount of time and energy, even when they feel sexual desire. If a woman doesn’t feel she has the time and energy necessary to have an orgasm, she may shy away from sex, or choose to have sex “just for him.” Because a vibrator can make orgasm faster and easier (but not necessarily better) a woman may choose to have sex, or to have sex for both of them, when she would have said no before having a vibrator. The vibrator can be a back up – the woman is able to have sex because she knows her husband can use the vibrator if need be. Sometimes once she gets going she has no need or interest in the vibrator – but knowing it was there made it easier for her.
If vibrators were addictive, they could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways. Finally, some folks are afraid that the woman will become “addicted” to the vibrator, and unable to orgasm without it. Despite years of warnings about this, it has not come to pass. Some couples have used a vibrator to give the wife her first ever orgasm, and then have used what they learned from that to give her orgasms in other ways. If it were addictive, it could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways. We have talked to couples who have used a vibrator for a decade or more, and several of the woman feel they are now more orgasmic without the vibrator than before they started to use it.
Using a vibrator on her:
If you are laying side by side with her (which will be emotionally preferable for some women, at least at first) place it between her labia, over or near the clitoris, with your hand cupped over the vibrator. Start with the speed low so as not to over stimulate her. You can gradually turn the speed up as she approaches orgasm – but be aware that turning it up too fast or too high may be a problem for her. Some women will want full speed well before orgasm, others may never want more than half speed. You can push your hand, and the vibrator, slightly into her and hold, or push and release repeatedly. You can also move your hand very slightly up and down (parallel to her labia), or left and right, or in a small circle. See what she reacts to. Be aware of her body movements, especially any thrusting or other movement of the pelvis. If she has a rhythm going, figure out how to work with it. The movements will likely intensify and speed up as she approaches orgasm, so stay very aware of her body. You have to figure out what to do as and after she climaxes. Cut back stimulation too soon and you will rob her of the full potential of her orgasm. A small percentage of women get hypersensitive the way most men do – if she is one of these you will need to back off before or as she finishes. Back off by turning the speed down, then off, rather than breaking contact with her body. Be sure to lie still and hold her after she climaxes.
If she can have and wants multiple orgasms, you will need to learn how to make the transition from one to the next. Most likely she will want a reduction of stimulation as she finished each orgasm. If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn – let her guide you by telling you what she needs.
If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn. You can also sit or lie between her legs to pleasure her. This gives you two hands to work with, better access … and a nice view. Some lubricant is good here, either hers or from a tube. Apply the lube to her clitoris and the surrounding area. Hold the vibrator between thumb and forefinger, or with thumb and two fingers like a fat pencil, so you can use the tip on her. Your other hand can be used to better expose her vulva, or later to add some penetration. The clitoris is very sensitive, so don’t start there – start with the outer edge of the outer labia and work in slowly. Again, you want to start with a low speed and increase as she becomes more aroused.
Each woman varies – some will be able to take or will want direct stimulation of the clitoris, others will not. MissBitch
The aroused vulva is like a full motion water bed, any vibrations applied to any part will be felt through out. Experiment with her outer labia, her inner labia, and the clitoris. Try up and down strokes and circles of varying size. Try moving down with a firm stroke and up with a light stroke, then try the reverse. If she is too sensitive to take direct stimulation of the clitoris you can do this to one side. Try an upside down “U” – up one side, over the top, and down the other side – then reverse. When she is well aroused, try adding some penetration. Most women have stronger orgasms if the PC muscles have something to “grab,” and for some women the difference is significant. Start with one finger, try two or three is she seems to enjoy it. You can try thrusting, but don’t get carried away, your fingers are a lot harder, and have less give, than your penis, and you can easily leave her sore. You can also put in one or two fingers palm up (or insert palm down and then turn your hand over) so that your finger tips are on her G-spot. A “come hither” motion will then stimulate the G-spot. If you do this before she is well aroused it will just cause her to feel a need to urinate – if you get her good and aroused and then start gradually you should be able to avoid this. Some women will go wild for this, some will not even feel it, and most will get a slight boost in enjoyment and orgasm out of it. Again, watch for her rhythm and work with it. Be aware of how she responds during climax, and reduce stimulation as needed. When she is done lay beside her and hug … or make love to her.
Tips:
Prostate massagers
Some vibrators are better suited for prostate than others. Some prefer the use of massager’s for Prostrate Milking. Vibrators that aren’t too big, and have a gentle curve tend to work well. Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use MissBonnie and MissBitch’s mantra lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.
Be patient.
Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation. Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. We talked about slowing down, there is no rush. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance. all good things take time. Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You may be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Take your batteries out.
A good tip is Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in the vibe may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments.
»>take it from an experienced user, vibes have the annoying habit of switching one when you least expect it. MissBonnie
Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case destroying your vibrator.
Anal vibrator safety.
Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.
How long will the batteries last in my vibrator?
Depending on the vibrator device and what kind of batteries you’re using, you could get anywhere from 50 hours of use to just 10 hours. Smaller devices with smaller motors drain less current. Larger vibrators or ones with multiple moving parts will drain batteries more quickly. If you have a high-drain vibrator that you use frequently, it might be worthwhile to invest in some rechargeable batteries.
»>They don’t hold a charge as long as disposable batteries, but you also won’t have to spend five bucks every time they’re used up. MissBonnie
You can extend the life of your vibrator’s batteries by removing them from the toy when it is not in use and storing them separately.
How long can a vibrator be used before throwing it away?
A vibrator’s durability depends on its quality, type, and what it’s made of. A vibrator’s lifespan can be anywhere from a few months to several years. In general, don’t keep an inexpensive plastic or rubber vibrator for more than 3 years. More expensive electrical vibrators can be used until they quit working. If a vibrator is in good running condition and the material is durable, there’s no reason to discard it until it stops working. However, inexpensive vibrators have a limited lifespan due to the quality of the case and the components. In cheap vibrators, the wiring frays, the motors jam; in some cases the outside is actually the most durable part of the device. More than likely, your vibrator will give up the ghost before it becomes a hazard to anyone. Nevertheless, at a certain point, you may want to retire your mechanical buddy either for safety or aesthetic reasons. Inexpensive vibrators, if they last that long, should not be used for more than a few years. Longer than that, and the casing material is going to be getting gummy and worn out if it’s made of rubber, jelly, or Cyberskin. Plastic vibrators can get brittle, and, especially if they have been knocked around a bit, they’re subject to cracking.
Higher-end electrical vibrators, like the Hitachi Magic Wand, can last several years depending on how much you use them. The only reason to discard an electrical vibrator is if the motor develops problems, i.e., if it starts overheating, sounding funny, or smelling odd. If you use rubber or silicone attachments with your electrical vibrator, you may want to replace them after a few years if you use them frequently or if they show signs of age.
How should I store my vibrators?
Keep it in a secure, dry location where it will not be moved around a lot. Under the bed in a shoe box is usually a safe bet. Take the batteries out when you store it. You want to keep your toys clean and safe, so don’t just chuck your vibrator under the bed with the dust bunnies, where the dog might find it and mistake it for a chewy toy. Keep them in a closed container. A shoe box is fine. Wrap them in a clean t-shirt or pillow case. Put the box in a spot where it won’t be moved around a lot, under the bed, in a nightstand drawer or closet. It’s always a good idea to take the batteries out of your vibrator when storing it for two reasons: it prolongs the life of the batteries, and it eliminates the risk that the vibrator may get accidentally switched on.
My vibrator isn’t giving me an orgasm any more. What’s wrong?
There could be a couple of reasons for this. The vibrator or the batteries in it may be wearing out, so it is less effective. Alternately, you may be getting “desensitized” to the sensation of that particular vibrator. Some people find they need to switch to a different vibrator at a certain point. Also, other psychological or physiological factors may be affecting your sexual responsiveness.
If you’re not responding to your vibrator anymore, first make sure that the vibrator is working correctly. Are the vibrations still as strong? If not, the motor may be wearing out, or the batteries may be wearing out. Test it out with some fresh batteries and see if that doesn’t put the buzz back in it. It may be time for a replacement. If there’s nothing wrong with the vibrator, your sexual responsiveness may have changed. Some people report “vibrator burnout,” feeling like they become “immune” to their vibrators. Your body may simply become used to the sensations that your vibrator supplies, and they are no longer as stimulating, or you may just be bored with your vibrator. Try shopping for a new model, and find something that really excites you or provides a totally different form of stimulation. If you’ve been using a Hitachi Magic Wand, try getting a vibrating dildo or vice versa.
Try experimenting.
Some vibrator users also report a temporary decrease in sensitivity in their genitals after prolonged vibrator use. You may need to take a vacation from your vibrator and go back to manual stimulation for a while. After taking a break and coming back to it, your vibrator may seem fresh again.
Finally, there may be physical or psychological factors that are affecting your sexual response. Some medications, especially antidepressants, have sexual side effects that make it difficult to reach orgasm. Stress, depression, fatigue, and overworking can also make it hard to get turned on or to climax. If this is a persistent problem, talk to your doctor.
Many, many thank yous to Cle-Andria for her help with images, allowing us to destroy her shop shelves in the name of kink, and her wealth of information.
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