Tag: subspace

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A Femdom Beginner’s Guide to Subspace: Understanding, Experiencing, and Managing It Safely

silhouette of man holding flashlight

Table of Contents

Introduction to Subspace

Subspace is a profound psychological and physiological state often experienced by submissives in the context of femdom and BDSM activities. It signifies a unique mental space where the submissive may feel deeply relaxed, euphoric, and detached from their surroundings. This altered state of consciousness plays a significant role in the power exchange dynamic, enhancing the overall experience for both the dominant and the submissive.

In the realm of femdom, subspace is not merely a fleeting sensation but a powerful element that can deepen trust, intensify sensations, and elevate the bond between participants. It is characterized by a range of experiences, from a blissful sense of surrender to a trance-like state where physical sensations are heightened and emotional barriers are lowered. Understanding subspace is crucial for both dominants and submissives, as it can profoundly affect the dynamics of their interactions.

The occurrence of subspace is influenced by various factors, including the intensity of the activities, the submissive’s mental state, and the level of trust and connection between the participants. The physiological aspects of subspace involve the release of endorphins and other neurotransmitters, which can create feelings of euphoria and pain relief. Psychologically, it can lead to a sense of disassociation and a heightened focus on the present moment.

This guide aims to provide a comprehensive understanding of subspace, exploring its intricacies and implications. We will delve into the reasons behind its occurrence, the safety precautions necessary to ensure a positive experience, and the sensations and emotions associated with it. Additionally, we will discuss the potential benefits of experiencing subspace, methods to achieve it, and the importance of managing sub drop and aftercare. By the end of this guide, both dominants and submissives will be better equipped to navigate this profound aspect of their dynamic safely and effectively.

The Science Behind Subspace: Why It Happens

Subspace is a phenomenon that occurs when a submissive enters an altered state of consciousness during an intense BDSM scene. This state is primarily driven by complex physiological and psychological mechanisms. Central to this experience is the release of various neurochemicals, including endorphins, adrenaline, and dopamine. These chemicals significantly impact the brain and body, leading to feelings of euphoria, pain relief, and a sense of detachment from reality.

Endorphins, often referred to as the body’s natural painkillers, are released in response to pain or stress. During a BDSM scene, the physical sensations experienced by the submissive can trigger the release of these endorphins, creating a natural high. This euphoric state is similar to the runner’s high experienced by athletes during prolonged exercise. Adrenaline, another key player, is released during moments of intense excitement or fear, heightening the individual’s sensory perception and energy levels.

Dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward, also plays a crucial role. The power dynamics in a BDSM relationship, coupled with the submissive’s emotional connection to the dominant, can stimulate dopamine release. This process reinforces the submissive’s feelings of pleasure and satisfaction, further deepening their immersion into subspace.

Trust and the power dynamic are essential components in inducing subspace. The submissive must feel safe and secure, knowing that the dominant has their best interests at heart. This trust allows them to let go of control and fully experience the sensations and emotions that arise during the scene. The emotional connection between the dominant and submissive also contributes to the intensity of the experience, as the submissive feels a profound sense of belonging and acceptance.

In summary, subspace is a multifaceted experience driven by a combination of neurochemical reactions, physical sensations, and emotional connections. Understanding the science behind subspace can help both dominants and submissives navigate this altered state of consciousness safely and effectively.

Safety Precautions for Exploring Subspace

Exploring subspace requires meticulous attention to safety measures to ensure a positive and secure experience for both dominants and submissives. A paramount aspect of this process is clear communication. Prior to any session, it is essential for both parties to discuss their expectations, desires, and concerns. Establishing mutual consent and understanding helps create a foundation of trust, which is crucial for a safe and rewarding exploration of subspace.

Consent must be ongoing and enthusiastic. Both the dominant and the submissive should feel comfortable expressing their boundaries and limitations. These boundaries should be respected at all times, and any changes should be communicated promptly to avoid misunderstandings. The use of safe words and signals is a critical component of this communication framework. Safe words act as an immediate signal to stop the activity if the submissive feels uncomfortable or overwhelmed. Common safe words are “red” for stop, “yellow” for slow down, and “green” for continue, but any agreed-upon terms can be used.

Regular check-ins during the session are indispensable. The dominant should consistently monitor the submissive’s physical and emotional state, ensuring that the experience remains enjoyable and safe. This involves paying attention to non-verbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and breathing patterns, as these can often indicate the submissive’s comfort level.

The dominant holds a significant responsibility in safeguarding the well-being of the submissive. This includes being vigilant and responsive to the submissive’s needs, both during and after the session. Post-session care, often referred to as “aftercare,” is an integral part of the process, providing an opportunity for both parties to reconnect, discuss the experience, and address any physical or emotional aftereffects.

By adhering to these safety precautions, dominants and submissives can explore subspace with confidence, ensuring a secure and enriching experience. Clear communication, consent, established boundaries, and regular check-ins are the cornerstones of a safe journey into subspace, fostering trust and mutual respect between partners.

The Sensations and Emotions of Subspace

Subspace is a distinctive state of consciousness that submissives might experience during BDSM activities. It is often described as a deeply immersive experience, characterized by a range of physical and emotional sensations. Submissives might feel a profound sense of euphoria, akin to a natural high, which can induce feelings of floating or weightlessness. This euphoria is frequently accompanied by an intense sense of relaxation, almost as if one is being enveloped in a comforting cocoon.

Emotional release is another common aspect of subspace. This can manifest as an overwhelming surge of emotions that the submissive may find both liberating and cathartic. Some individuals report feeling an almost trance-like state where their mind becomes exceptionally focused yet detached from everyday concerns. It’s important to note that the sensations and emotions experienced in subspace can vary significantly from person to person. While some might feel a serene calmness, others could experience a more intense, almost exhilarating wave of feelings.

Anecdotes from individuals who have experienced subspace provide valuable insights into its diverse nature. One submissive shared, “It felt like I was floating on a cloud, completely disconnected from reality but in the best way possible.” Another described their experience as, “A deep, meditative state where all my worries and stresses melted away, leaving me in a state of pure bliss.” These personal accounts highlight that while subspace can be universally profound, it is also uniquely tailored to each individual’s psyche and physical response.

Understanding these sensations and emotions is crucial for both submissives and dominants. Recognizing the signs of subspace can help in managing it safely and ensuring a positive experience for all involved. The journey into subspace is a deeply personal one, and being aware of its potential effects can lead to more fulfilling and mindful BDSM practices.

Potential Benefits of Experiencing Subspace

Subspace, a unique psychological state often experienced during BDSM activities, offers several potential benefits for those involved. One key advantage is the deepened trust and intimacy it can foster between partners. When a submissive enters subspace, they are in a highly vulnerable state, which necessitates a strong foundation of trust in their dominant partner. This mutual reliance can significantly enhance the emotional bond, leading to a more profound connection and a heightened sense of intimacy.

Additionally, subspace can serve as a powerful tool for emotional healing. The intense focus and altered state of consciousness can provide a temporary escape from everyday stresses and anxieties, allowing individuals to process and release pent-up emotions. For some, this experience can be cathartic, offering a sense of emotional release and rejuvenation.

Another notable benefit of subspace is its potential to alleviate stress. The physiological and psychological effects of subspace can induce a deep state of relaxation, similar to what one might experience during meditation or deep relaxation techniques. This can help reduce stress levels, promote mental clarity, and improve overall well-being.

Moreover, the act of fully submitting and letting go within the safe confines of a BDSM scene can bring a profound sense of fulfillment. This state of surrender can be incredibly liberating, offering a break from the pressures and responsibilities of everyday life. For many, this sense of freedom and release is a core component of the appeal in BDSM activities.

Lastly, experiencing subspace can enhance the overall BDSM experience for both dominants and submissives. For the dominant, guiding a submissive into subspace can be a deeply rewarding experience, as it demonstrates their ability to control and care for their partner effectively. For the submissive, entering subspace can be an exhilarating and transformative experience, enriching their understanding and enjoyment of BDSM practices.

How to Induce Subspace: Techniques and Tips

Inducing subspace requires a combination of physical, mental, and emotional elements, all working harmoniously to create the right conditions. One effective technique is sensory deprivation. By limiting senses through the use of blindfolds, earplugs, or restraints, the submissive partner can become more attuned to their remaining senses, deepening their experience. This often results in an intensified focus on the sensations being delivered, facilitating a quicker drop into subspace.

Impact play is another common method. The rhythmic application of physical stimuli like spanking, flogging, or paddling can help the submissive to reach a trance-like state. The key here is consistency and communication. Establishing a pattern and gradually increasing intensity allows the submissive to build trust and relax into the experience. Controlled breathing techniques can also support this process. Encouraging the submissive to focus on deep, rhythmic breathing can help manage pain and anxiety, promoting a sense of calm and receptiveness to entering subspace.

The mental and emotional connection between partners plays a critical role in safely inducing subspace. Open dialogue about boundaries, safe words, and mutual expectations beforehand can build the trust needed for a deep dive into this altered state. Establishing a safe and comfortable environment is paramount. Ensure that the space is free from distractions, and consider the use of soft lighting, calming music, or other elements that contribute to a relaxing atmosphere.

Anticipation and build-up are also crucial components. Gradually escalating the intensity of play, rather than jumping straight into more severe actions, helps the submissive acclimate and mentally prepare. This gradual approach not only enhances safety but also heightens the overall experience, making the journey into subspace more profound and rewarding.

By combining these techniques and tips, partners can create a safe, controlled, and deeply immersive experience that enhances their bond and opens the door to the unique and powerful state of subspace.

Understanding and Managing Sub Drop

Sub drop is a phenomenon that often follows an intense subspace experience in the realm of femdom and BDSM activities. It is a state where the submissive partner may experience a range of emotional and physical symptoms after the high of subspace has dissipated. This occurrence happens due to the sudden drop in endorphins and adrenaline that were elevated during the intense experience. Understanding and managing sub drop is crucial for the well-being of the submissive partner and the overall health of the dynamic.

The symptoms of sub drop can vary from person to person but commonly include emotional lows, physical exhaustion, and a sense of vulnerability. Emotionally, a submissive may feel sadness, anxiety, or depression. Physically, they might experience fatigue, muscle soreness, or a general feeling of malaise. These symptoms are a natural response to the body’s return to its baseline state after the euphoric high of subspace.

Managing sub drop requires a proactive approach that focuses on self-care and open communication between partners. One of the fundamental strategies is ensuring adequate hydration and nutrition. The body’s biochemical processes need replenishment, so drinking plenty of water and consuming balanced meals can help mitigate some of the physical symptoms. Rest is equally important; allowing the body ample time to recover can significantly alleviate the feelings of exhaustion and soreness.

In addition to physical care, emotional support plays a critical role in managing sub drop. Communication between partners should be emphasized, as discussing feelings and experiences can provide a sense of validation and support. Partners should check in regularly with each other, offering reassurance and understanding. This connection can help the submissive feel less isolated and more secure during this vulnerable period.

Ultimately, understanding and managing sub drop involves a combination of physical self-care practices and emotional support. By staying attuned to the needs of the submissive partner and maintaining open lines of communication, both partners can navigate this phase safely and effectively, ensuring a healthier and more fulfilling dynamic.

The Importance of Aftercare

Aftercare is a critical aspect of any BDSM dynamic, especially following an intense subspace experience. It involves a series of practices aimed at ensuring the emotional and physical well-being of both the dominant and submissive partners. The process begins immediately after the scene and can extend for several hours, or even days, depending on the needs of the individuals involved.

For the submissive partner, entering subspace can be a profoundly transformative experience that leaves them feeling vulnerable and disoriented. It is the responsibility of the dominant to provide a safe space where the submissive can decompress and reorient themselves. This may involve physical touch, such as cuddling or holding, which can help ground the submissive and provide a sense of security. Verbal reassurance is equally important; affirming words can help the submissive feel valued and understood, mitigating any feelings of guilt or confusion that may arise.

Additionally, tending to any physical needs is a crucial part of aftercare. This could include hydrating, offering a snack, or addressing any potential injuries or discomforts that may have occurred during the scene. A first-aid kit should always be on hand, and both partners should be knowledgeable about its contents and usage.

For the dominant, aftercare is also essential. Dominants can experience a form of drop similar to the subspace drop, characterized by emotional exhaustion or a sense of disconnection. Mutual aftercare practices, where both partners nurture and support each other, contribute to a balanced and healthy dynamic. This mutual care fosters a deeper connection and ensures that both parties can process their experiences in a supportive environment.

In essence, aftercare is not merely a concluding ritual but a fundamental component of any BDSM relationship. It safeguards the psychological and physical health of both partners, reinforcing trust and communication. By prioritizing aftercare, dominants and submissives can maintain a healthy, consensual, and fulfilling dynamic.

Resource Article MissBonnie 2024

other resources:

subspace – What is it?

subspace drop – how to handle it

Aftercare in BDSM: Tailoring Care for Different Partners

Navigating Submissive Drop in Femdom BDSM Play: Understanding, Preparing, and Recovering

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Navigating Submissive Drop in Femdom BDSM Play: Understanding, Preparing, and Recovering

sub space

Table of Contents

Understanding Subspace and Subdrop

In the realm of Femdom BDSM play, understanding the emotional and psychological states known as subspace and subdrop is essential for both Dominants and submissives. These states are integral to the experiences and dynamics within BDSM scenes, often shaping the overall interaction and its aftermath.

Subspace, often described as a trance-like state, is a mental and emotional condition that many submissives enter during intense BDSM activities. Triggered by the combination of physical sensations, psychological surrender, and trust in the Dominant, subspace can lead to profound euphoria and deep relaxation. Submissives may experience a sense of floating, disconnection from their immediate surroundings, or a heightened state of consciousness. This phenomenon is comparable to a meditative state or a runner’s high, where the mind and body reach a harmonious balance of stress and pleasure. Understanding subspace is crucial for Dominants, as it requires careful monitoring of the submissive’s well-being throughout the scene.

Following the high of subspace, many submissives may experience subdrop, a state that manifests after the scene concludes. Subdrop can be likened to a physical and emotional crash, characterized by symptoms such as fatigue, anxiety, sadness, and physical discomfort. This drop is often due to the sudden decrease in endorphins and adrenaline that were elevated during the scene. The intensity of subdrop can vary, lasting from a few hours to several days, and it may be influenced by the nature of the scene and the individual’s unique response.

Recognizing and addressing subdrop is as important as understanding subspace. Proper aftercare, including physical comfort, emotional support, and reassurance, plays a pivotal role in helping submissives recover from subdrop. By being aware of these phenomena, participants in Femdom BDSM play can foster a safer and more fulfilling experience, ensuring that both the Dominant and submissive are prepared for the emotional and physical transitions that accompany their dynamic.

Physical and Emotional Symptoms of Subdrop

Subdrop is a phenomenon that can significantly impact both the physical and emotional well-being of a submissive following an intense BDSM session. Recognizing its symptoms is crucial for taking timely and appropriate measures. Physical symptoms of subdrop often resemble those of a mild illness. Submissives may experience fatigue, muscle aches, and flu-like symptoms. This physical depletion is generally a result of the body’s response to the adrenaline and endorphins released during the BDSM play, followed by a sudden drop in these hormones, leading to a state of exhaustion.

In addition to the physical manifestations, subdrop can also profoundly affect emotional health. Submissives may find themselves grappling with feelings of sadness, anxiety, and even depression. These emotions stem from the psychological and hormonal shifts that occur post-session. The intensity of the scene and the subsequent drop in endorphins can leave the submissive feeling vulnerable and emotionally drained. Some individuals might also struggle with feelings of worthlessness or guilt, questioning their actions or their worth within the dynamic.

Understanding these symptoms is essential for both the submissive and the dominant in a BDSM relationship. By being aware of the physical and emotional signs of subdrop, they can better prepare for and manage its effects. This knowledge allows for the implementation of effective aftercare strategies to mitigate the impact of subdrop, ensuring both partners feel supported and cared for during the recovery process.

Preparing for Subdrop

Engaging in Femdom BDSM play requires careful consideration and preparation, particularly when it comes to the possibility of experiencing subdrop. By taking proactive steps to prepare, both the submissive and the Domme can ensure a smoother recovery process and mitigate the severity of subdrop. One of the first steps in preparation is setting up a comfortable recovery space. This designated area should be private, quiet, and filled with comforting items such as soft blankets, pillows, and perhaps even a favorite stuffed animal. The goal is to create a safe haven where the submissive can relax and recuperate both physically and emotionally.

In addition to setting up a recovery space, having essential items on hand is crucial. These may include snacks, water, electrolyte drinks, and any necessary medications. Keeping these items within easy reach ensures that immediate needs can be met without added stress. Warm beverages like herbal tea can also be soothing, helping the submissive to rehydrate and calm their nerves. Additionally, having soothing music or a playlist prepared can create a tranquil environment conducive to recovery.

Effective communication with the Domme about aftercare needs is another vital component of preparing for subdrop. Open and honest dialogue before the scene can help both parties understand what aftercare will be most beneficial. This may involve discussing physical comfort measures, such as massages or warm baths, as well as emotional support, such as reassurance and gentle conversation. Understanding these needs in advance allows the Domme to provide the appropriate care and attention, fostering a sense of security and trust.

Preparation for subdrop is an essential aspect of Femdom BDSM play that should not be overlooked. By creating a comfortable recovery space, having essential items at hand, and communicating clearly about aftercare needs, the experience of subdrop can be managed more effectively, leading to a healthier and more positive BDSM experience.

Preventing Subdrop

Preventing subdrop entirely may not always be feasible, but several strategies can significantly reduce its likelihood or severity. One critical element is the pacing of scenes. Ensuring that scenes are appropriately paced helps manage the submissive’s emotional and physical energy levels. Gradually intensifying the scene can prevent overwhelming the submissive, which is often a precursor to subdrop.

Proper hydration and nutrition are also essential in mitigating subdrop. Engaging in BDSM play can be physically demanding, and the body requires adequate fluids and nutrients to maintain balance. Encouraging the submissive to drink water and consume light, nutritious snacks before and after a scene can help maintain their energy levels and overall well-being.

Employing grounding techniques during play can also be beneficial. These techniques, which may include deep breathing exercises, mindfulness practices, or tactile interactions, help the submissive remain present and connected. Grounding techniques can serve as an anchor, preventing the submissive from becoming too detached or overwhelmed by the intensity of the scene.

Post-scene check-ins between the submissive and the Domme are paramount in the prevention of subdrop. These check-ins allow for immediate feedback and emotional support. The Domme can assess the submissive’s physical and emotional state, provide reassurance, and address any concerns that may arise. This interaction fosters a sense of safety and trust, which is crucial in reducing the risk of subdrop.

While these strategies cannot entirely eliminate the possibility of subdrop, they can create a more controlled and supportive environment. By prioritizing pacing, hydration, nutrition, grounding techniques, and post-scene communication, both the Domme and the submissive can work together to minimize the impact of subdrop on their dynamic and enhance the overall experience of their BDSM play.

Recovering from Subdrop

Experiencing subdrop can be challenging, but there are effective methods to aid in recovery. Rest is a crucial component; after an intense BDSM scene, the body and mind need time to recuperate. Ensuring adequate sleep will help restore energy levels and promote emotional stability. Hydration is equally important, as it assists in maintaining physical health and can alleviate some of the physical symptoms associated with subdrop. Drinking plenty of water or electrolyte-rich beverages can be particularly beneficial.

Incorporating self-care routines is another essential step in recovery. Activities such as taking a warm bath, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and engaging in hobbies that provide comfort can significantly contribute to emotional well-being. Light physical activities, such as gentle stretching or yoga, can also help in grounding oneself and alleviating any residual physical tension.

Self-compassion plays a pivotal role during this recovery phase. Recognizing that experiencing subdrop is a natural response to the physiological and emotional demands of intense BDSM scenes is vital. It is important to be kind to oneself and to allow time for the body and mind to heal. Surrounding oneself with supportive individuals who understand the dynamics of BDSM can provide emotional reassurance and comfort.

Moreover, communicating with one’s partner or dominant about the experience can be beneficial. Sharing feelings and thoughts can foster a deeper connection and understanding, which can be comforting during the recovery process. It is essential to remember that subdrop is a temporary state, and with proper care and attention, it is possible to recover fully and continue to enjoy fulfilling BDSM experiences.

Effective Aftercare in the Days Following Playtime

Aftercare is a crucial component of BDSM play, extending beyond the immediate aftermath of a scene. In the days following playtime, effective aftercare practices can significantly mitigate the effects of subdrop—a phenomenon where submissives experience emotional or physical lows after intense scenes. Planning for this period with intentional activities and support systems can aid in a smoother recovery.

One essential aspect of aftercare during this time is planning for downtime. Submissives should allocate periods for rest and relaxation to allow their bodies and minds to recuperate. This might involve taking a day off work or scheduling lighter tasks to avoid overwhelming oneself. Engaging in self-care routines, such as taking warm baths, practicing mindfulness, or indulging in favorite hobbies, can also provide solace and help in re-centering oneself.

Additionally, engaging in activities that bring joy and fulfillment can be highly beneficial. This could include anything from enjoying a favorite movie or book to participating in creative endeavors like painting or writing. These activities not only offer distraction but also contribute to a positive mindset, counteracting the feelings of emptiness or sadness that may accompany subdrop.

Staying connected with the Domme or sympathetic friends is paramount. Communicating openly about one’s feelings and experiences can foster a sense of support and understanding. Regular check-ins, whether through messaging or phone calls, can reassure the submissive that they are not alone in their journey. This sense of connection can be a powerful antidote to the isolation that sometimes accompanies subdrop.

Finally, maintaining a level of physical activity is crucial. Light exercise, such as walking or yoga, can elevate mood and energy levels. Physical activity stimulates the release of endorphins, which are natural mood lifters, helping to combat the emotional lows typically associated with subdrop.

By integrating these aftercare practices, submissives can better navigate the days following an intense BDSM scene, ensuring a balanced and positive recovery process.

Creating a Personal Submissive Drop Aftercare Kit

Submissive drop, or subdrop, is a common occurrence within the dynamics of Femdom BDSM play. It is crucial to prepare for this emotional and physical state by assembling a personalized aftercare kit, specifically tailored to aid in the recovery process. Such a kit can be a lifesaver, offering immediate comfort and care when it is most needed.

First and foremost, consider including comfort foods in your aftercare kit. These could be anything that brings you a sense of warmth and familiarity, such as your favorite snacks, chocolates, or a soothing cup of herbal tea. The simple act of eating something comforting can help elevate your mood and provide a much-needed sense of stability.

Entertainment items like favorite books or movies can also be integral to your recovery. These distractions can help shift your focus away from the physical and emotional aftereffects of a session, offering a form of mental escapism. A beloved book or a feel-good movie can be a powerful tool for emotional grounding.

Cozy blankets are another essential component. The sensation of being enveloped in a soft, warm blanket can provide a sense of security and comfort, akin to a comforting hug. This physical warmth can be particularly soothing during the vulnerable period of subdrop.

Self-care items such as bath products can add an extra layer of comfort to your aftercare routine. Scented bath bombs, bath salts, or essential oils can turn a regular bath into a therapeutic experience, helping to relax both the mind and body. A warm bath can also help alleviate any physical discomfort you may be experiencing.

By taking the time to assemble a personalized aftercare kit, you are proactively addressing the potential challenges of subdrop. This foresight allows you to have a ready-made solution at hand, ensuring that you can quickly and effectively manage the emotional and physical repercussions. Creating a well-rounded kit tailored to your individual needs can make a significant difference in your overall well-being and recovery.

Supporting a Submissive During Subdrop: A Guide for Dommes

Subdrop, an emotional and physical low that a submissive may experience after an intense BDSM session, requires thoughtful and deliberate support from Dommes. The role of a Domme extends beyond the scene; it involves providing a safe and nurturing environment for the submissive to recover. Effective support during subdrop begins with maintaining open communication. It’s crucial for Dommes to encourage their submissives to express their feelings and needs honestly. Regular check-ins and active listening can significantly help in understanding what the submissive is going through.

Offering reassurance is another key aspect. Submissives might feel vulnerable or uncertain about their experiences and emotions during subdrop. Providing consistent reassurance can help them feel secure and valued. Simple affirmations like “You are safe,” “You did wonderfully,” and “I am here for you” can work wonders in calming their anxieties. Physical support is equally important; gentle touch, cuddling, or even just being physically present can provide immense comfort.

Emotional support should not be overlooked. Dommes should strive to be patient and understanding, recognizing that each submissive’s recovery process is unique. Encouraging activities that promote well-being, such as taking a warm bath, engaging in light conversation, or watching a favorite movie together, can facilitate emotional recovery. Additionally, ensuring the submissive is hydrated and nourished can aid in physical recuperation.

While supporting a submissive during subdrop, Dommes must also prioritize their own well-being. Self-care is essential to maintain the energy and emotional stability needed to support their partner effectively. Simple practices such as taking time for oneself, engaging in relaxing activities, or seeking support from other Dommes can be beneficial. Balancing self-care with the care of a submissive ensures that both parties can recover and continue their BDSM journey healthily and sustainably.

Resource Article MissBonnie 2024

related reading

sub space drop in Femdom play scenes

Ok… the sad thing is that most people do not have a good understanding of what sub drop is… not even Dominants who have been in the lifestyle for quite some time. The article I posted before this comes close in explaining why sub drop occurs, but in reality it still lacks quite a lot of the deep explanation necessary for every Dominant to know in order to take care of their submissive after a play session, as it mostly discusses what causes sub space, not necessarily the mechanics of why someone drops.

Subspace in Femdom and BDSM

This word we use to describe the psychological (mental) and physical state the submissive can – but does not (always) have to – reach as a result of BDSM interaction. On the Internet especially you will see a lot of stories and articles about “subspace”. Most of these unfortunately got it dead wrong. This leads to a lot of confusion. For example “subspace” and orgasm are often mixed up.

Science is still a long way away from fully understanding “subspace”. That’s no big surprise, since very little – actually hardly any – coherent scientific research has been done in this area. However, we do know more than enough to be able to do away with many of the misconceptions and misunderstandings.

After Care

Aftercare is the last act of the SM Femdom scene. It is the culmination, the final act, the finishing touches, the phase where the participants (usually the tops) formally give the fantasy scene a context in everyday reality.

Posted on

sub space drop in Femdom play scenes

Ok… the sad thing is that most people do not have a good understanding of what sub drop is… not even Dominants who have been in the lifestyle for quite some time. The article I posted before this comes close in explaining why sub drop occurs, but in reality it still lacks quite a lot of the deep explanation necessary for every Dominant to know in order to take care of their submissive after a play session, as it mostly discusses what causes sub space, not necessarily the mechanics of why someone drops.

The reason sub drop occurs, is a direct result of sub space… as you are taking your submissive deeper and deeper into sub space, the brain is producing more and more endorphins, and adrenaline… so much so that it goes into overdrive, and produces far more than the body’s normal and natural amount, hence the euphoric high the submissive experiences.

After your play session is over, the brain takes a while to realize there are no more external stimuli present and then begins shutting down production of those chemicals in order to attempt to bring the chemical levels back down to a level state. What it does however is it completely shuts down production… so much so that the levels often drop below normal after the fact, usually by the next day. When this happens, there is usually a period of depression associated with lower than normal chemical levels in the brain, then as the brain realizes the levels are low, it begins production again, but over produces once more to compensate, not nearly as much as when in a scene, but still, which leads to a period of happiness and giddiness once more. This is kind of a roller coaster, produce too much chemicals, then shut down, level drops bellow normal, overproduce again, and its a roller coaster effect as this goes on until the brain finally gets to a normal state again. This period of depression and euphoria, then depression again and so on is sub drop, it usually leaves the submissive feeling very confused and emotionally unsure, and vulnerable, a period in which she/he relies heavily on her/his Master, or Domme, and for most new submissives a very scary period.

That for the long and short of it is the mental reason for sub drop… it has nothing to do with true depression, it has nothing to do with the submissive disliking or being mad with the Dominant, it has to do with chemicals, plain and simple… and it is every Dominant’s responsibility to realize that, and plan for it, and to help the submissive work through that period and support her/him. Often I have heard that exercise helps to level out the sub drop effects much quicker, so if you are a submissive, and want to shorten the effects, go for a nice run, or a bike ride or something the day after.

Hope that helps some out.

Article MasterMonos All permissions granted.

Related Articles:

subspace – What is it?

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Subspace in Femdom and BDSM

Table of Contents

This word we use to describe the psychological (mental) and physical state the submissive can – but does not (always) have to – reach as a result of BDSM interaction. On the Internet especially you will see a lot of stories and articles about “subspace”. Most of these unfortunately got it dead wrong. This leads to a lot of confusion. For example “subspace” and orgasm are often mixed up.

Science is still a long way away from fully understanding “subspace”. That’s no big surprise, since very little – actually hardly any – coherent scientific research has been done in this area. However, we do know more than enough to be able to do away with many of the misconceptions and misunderstandings.

silhouette of man holding flashlight searching in the dark

Man or woman?

There is a big difference between the physiological (especially bio-chemical) reactions in the male and female body. As a result, male “subspace” is incomparable to female “subspace”. Most importantly, female “subspace” usually lasts a lot longer. The explanation for this is in the fact that the male ejaculation (which is not necessarily always the same as an orgasm) puts an end to quite a lot of biochemical processes and – as a result – to subspace. On top of this, female sexuality in general is very different from male sexuality. And there is of course a major difference in the way, men and women deal with emotions.

Orgasm or “subspace”

Quite a few submissive women confuse orgasm, or even strong (sexual) arousal, with “subspace” – simply because they have no personal experience with orgasms. Global scientific research tells us that – unfortunately – probably as much as one out of every three adult women has never experienced an orgasm. There is no reason to assume these figures any different within the BDSM community. In other words, probably one out of each three submissive women does not know what an orgasm is, hence cannot distinguish the differences between orgasm and subspace and is likely to mistake one for the other.

Besides, there are different forms of orgasm (different orgasms, as some prefer to say).

One thing we do know: having an orgasm while in “subspace” is biologically next to impossible!

This is because the hormonal chain of events – leading to subspace – is quite different from the one – leading to an orgasm. In the early stages of the route to both “subspace” and orgasm these chains of events are quite similar. But at some point along the way the body has to make a choice: either go for orgasm, or go for subspace. One excludes the other. In other words, whenever a submissive tells you he or she “was cumminglike there is no tomorrow” that is exactly what has been happening. But, no more than that. There is nothing wrong with an orgasm. On the contrary in fact. But it just isn’t “subspace”.

The tall stories

The “Stages of Subspace” – as described on many Internet sites – do not exist!

What has happened is that somebody, somewhere took the description of the stages of the female orgasm, changed and twisted the wording a bit and thought it looked good. Fact of the matter is, subspace does not work like that at all.

Actually, while “subspace’ is a state of being that develops gradually during its early stages, it is not a neatly ordered, gradual, “phased” development at all. The best comparison is to look at it as water, building up behind a dam. At some point the dam will break under the water pressure and the next thing you know “all hell breaks loose”. That is exactly, what happens during the development of subspace.

Besides, the “road to subspace” is a different one all the time and probably every time. Impulses and responses can change per day or even per hour. This is because your body is receptive to all sorts of impulses that have an influence on hormone production. This can be stress, anxiety, uncertainty, fever or the effects of alcohol, tobacco, nutrition, medication or drugs for example or, in the female body, the influences the monthly cycle, possible pregnancy and menopause.

So what exactly is “subspace”?

“Subspace” is a form of trance. Trance in its essence is a state of being, different from your “normal” state of being. During trance your mind excludes most of its input and concentrates on just one or only very few impulses, completely disregarding all others. There are many ways in which a trance can be induced. Prolonged dancing for example, or hunger, prolonged physical activity. Hypothermia, recreational drugs, high fever, lack of nutrition, dehydration AND BDSM-activity all can induce trance. Just like repeated physical activity (such as jumping from one leg on another for a long time – a modern technique used by psychologists).

Trance is the result of hormonal activity. Hormones are substances in your body, responsible for communication between the brain and the cortex and the rest of the body (“blink your eye” is the result of a mini hormone cocktail. So is “pull muscle” or ….. “fall in love”). Everything your body does (or does not) is the result of these usually complex hormone cocktails. Hormones are being read by “receptors” and the availability and functionality of these 0 receptors is genetically determined. That is why a hormonal reaction is not identical in different people.

For “subspace” a group of hormones, called “peptides” is important. Peptides are amino acids. Many look like morphine and have attributes, that can be compared to morphine. And yes – although natural – they ARE (to some extent) addictive! For subspace ENDORPHINS – a group of such peptides – are an important ingredient.

Where does it start?

Both “subspace” and sexual arroussal start with ADRENALINE.

Actually, adrenaline is an incorrect name, since it assumes it is one hormone. Actually, it is a combination of two hormones: adrenaline (in biochemical terms epineprin) and noradrenaline (norepinephrin). These twins are being produced simultanuously, but they serve different purposes. Adrenaline – among many other things – makes certain that extra nutrients (sugars especially) are transported to the muscles, while noradrenaline (again among many other things) is responsible for inducing vascular contraction, so the vains help the heart to pump blood through the body faster.

You could say the adrenaline twins are your body’s first response team. As soon as anything happens that is different from what was – at that moment in time – the normal situation, the body starts to produce adrenaline. This happens in a split second and it brings the body to a “higher state of alert”. Ready to fight, run, jump out of the way of a passing truck or …to enter into an argument for example. Your senses are wide open, information transport through the body increases and speeds up, muscles contract, the heartrate heightens and muscles are being filled with whatever “fast food” is available. And these are only a few of the processes, induced by the adrenaline twins. Besides adrenaline is one of your natural painkillers.

When your body decides it is time to produce adrenaline it does so, based on the principle: shoot first – ask questions later. In other words, adrenaline production is well under way before the brain has had a chance to analyse the situation. The reason for this is that the situation may call for a reflex action. And that is what you want. You don’t want your brain to go like; “Wow, that’s a truck coming at me, what shall we do about that?” No, hopefully you probably got yourself out of the way before you even realized the thing was a truck. That is a reflex and the result of adrenaline.

The “kick”

Back to “subspace”.

Adrenaline production started well before you consciously figured out you were getting aroused. As soon as the brain notices the higher adrenaline concentrations have nothing to do with anything that requires an immediate reaction it has two options. It can either step down from the “red alert” phase and tell your body to go into “business as usual” mode. Or – if the impulse that triggered the increased adrenaline production persists without presenting any danger or other alarming situation – it may decide to continue production. Why? Because the brain like adrenaline.

The adrenaline twins can give your a “kick” (or a “high” as some like to call it). It’s the same “kick” you get from passing an exam, a bungee jump or a dive in the pool on a steamy hot day for example. In short, the “YES!” feeling. Your body can produce increased adrenaline levels for about half an hour. Oh, by the way, women can enjoy adrenaline somewhat longer than men, usually.

FOR MANY PEOPLE INTO BDSM ……. THIS IS IT!

Nothing wrong with that. An adrenaline high as such can be great fun, but …… it’s got nothing to do with “subspace”. It is an adrenaline kick. Fun, exciting, addictive is some way. In other words, from anything like a 15 to 30 minutes “quickly” you don’t enter “subspace”, but you probably will get an adrenaline high. Oh, what most dominants describe as their “domspace” is very likely to be an adrenaline high as well.

This provides us with one clear, recognizable and physical insight in the different ways, people experience BDSM and it explains part of the different forms of BDSM. Those who are after the adrenaline high do just that and that’s fine. But it is physically and mentally very different from what we are going to talk about below. And the two cannot (and should not) be compared. It’s like baseball and football. Both sports revolve around a ball and are played by teams in a stadium. But that is where the comparison ends. Which doesn’t mean that baseball players are better or lesser sports people than football players. They’re just different and their abilities – if at all – should be compared to others in their own league.

Endorphins

The road to “subspace” is like a ladder. You go from one step to the next.

Adrenaline is the first step. The next one brings us to a different – much larger – group of hormones: ENDORPHINS. One important note: there are other endorphin highs (such as the “runners’ high”). They are, although similar, very different from what we call “subspace”.

Endorphins are peptides too. They are a morphine-like group of substances (so far science has identified 39 different ones), that are relatively new to scientists. They were identified in the mid 1970s and are called endorphins since 1975. In very unscientific words they are known as “mood hormones”, since they are responsible for our moods, whichever one. Regardless if you cry, laugh, get angry, happy, or sad or just bored ….all that is triggered by endorphins. They are produced in countless different “cocktails” and, just like adrenaline, work as a natural painkiller as well. They are also responsible for car- and airsickness and vomiting in general.

To understand the “road to subspace” the following is important. Your body HAS to produce adrenaline before it starts to produce endorphins and the endorphins – that contribute to “subspace” a- re only first produced after some 20 to 30 minutes. In fact they are the “next shift”. Within the endorphins group there are some hormones we call “enkephalins”. These do to cortex what endorphins do to the brain to create “subspace” and both need to be present.

All hormones have a chemically incomplete “forerunner”, but for reasons of clarity and simplicity we will skip these.

To fully explain “subspace” science still lacks a lot of data. Too many to pinpoint and explain the process precisely. But we do know quite a bit. One important thing to understand “subspace” is the recent discovery of different ways, in which the brain releases endorphins. Besides the normal “through the proper channels” way (via glands and the nervous system) there also appear to be small, apparently uncontrolled fountain like releases on the outside of the brain. These have been photographed and filmed. These “endorphin fountains” occur on specific occasions. Most parents will have seen their young kid simply staring at a ball or some object without moving or responding, but just looking at it – apparently fascinated by its color or shape. That is when endorphin fountains occur. Why they do, science does not know yet. But we do know these fountains are connected to the kind of emotional and physical responses, we call “subspace” in terms of BDSM. These endorphin fountains also seem to induce the “deer in the headlight” behavior. That is not fear, but fascination. A probably more familiar similar reaction are the LSD-trips from the hippie days.

Are we going to take a left turn, or a right?

Here we reach a crucial junction. Once the endorphins production gets well underway, there is a choice to make: are we “going into subspace” or will it be an orgasm today? Remember, one excludes the other. No one knows exactly how or why this choice is being made but – remember, hormone receptors are genetically determined – at least some of that has to be in the genetic code somewhere.

So, why is there such a crucial choice? Well, in order to follow the hormonal route to an orgasm the body now will have to start to produce a group of hormones called GnRH. These will eventually trigger the production of yet another hormone (genadotropine), which induces the production and release of steroids (the “sex” hormones). As soon as the GnRH production starts the endorphins production slows down and finally stops. In other words: no “fountains” – no “subspace”.

Up to this point your body has produced quite a lot of these “mood hormones” and that is responsible for the feelings of bonding, attachment, affection, security and love. This makes sense, since these emotions – in females especially – are a necessity for the orgasm. This is what some people describe as “floating”. No, that is not one of “stages of subspace”. Actually that is pretty general, normal human behavior and quite necessary.

So, here is again a crucial difference in BDSM-experience – physically and mentally recognisable: if there now will be an orgasm, that is what you go for. And, orgasms are NICE! And very good to have. But …… THEY ARE NOT “SUBSPACE”. The bonding and affection emotions however, can be a first step towards it.

Hallucination, trance and different levels of awareness

Now is where we can see the fundamental differences between “subspace” and other BDSM-experiences (driven by other motives). If and when the body decides not to go for the orgasm, but instead to go for “subspace” we are getting to the “deer in the headlights”. And also the point where the dam breaks.

If endorphins production continues – remember, we still do not know exactly why – trance and light forms of hallucination occur. THAT is “subspace”!

Someone “in subspace” is easy to recognize from the outside. They are no longer able to drive a car, or even a bike. They seem silent, absentminded, slow responding, uninterested. In other words “not really here”. That again is not the same as the warm, glowy, dreamy feeling after an orgasm. Somebody “in subspace” is “not on this planet”, so to speak.

“Subspace” is dangerous in some ways. People “in subspace” have very different levels of perception and awareness. They will see a traffic light as interesting colors that changes all the time. They do NOT see it as a warning signal. To them, a house is a fascinating stack of bricks with intriguing patterns – NOT something people actually live in. If you would slit the throat of someone “in subspace” they’d probably tell you they’d consider that an interesting and fascinating experience. They do NOT recognize the life threatening situation. Someone “in subspace” is INTOXICATED! Intoxicated as in: under influence of drugs.

If you have ever been given morphine for medical reason you will know that morphine creates a colorful, happy, peaceful world without fear or pain or discomfort. Endorphins in high concentrations create EXACTLY THAT EFFECT.

SOMEONE IN “SUBSPACE” CAN BE A DANGER TO HIM OR HERSELF!

“Subspace” can last for anything from several hours to several days. For the duration of “subspace” reflexes slow down severely (this is the result of the slightly intoxicating effects of enkephalins on the cortex) and much of normal, everyday logic no longer works. Someone in subspace cannot make responsible, consensual decisions.

EVERYTHING THAT TRUE FOR PEOPLE UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF ALCOHOL, RECREATIONAL DRUGS OR MEDICATION IS TRUE FOR PEOPLE “IN SUBSPACE”.

As said, subspace is easy to spot from the outside. Pupils widen, responses slow down, appear illogical or simply do not occur. Food and sustenance is no longer important, people hear you, but do not understand you, they cannot find the right words and some submissives even stop breathing temporarily. Someone “in subspace” – as far as physical behavior and signals are concerned – is very similar to someone, under the influence of recreational drugs. The trance itself is important to them, feeds them and leads them. Nothing else matters and that – for example – includes sexual arousal. Colors, sounds, scents are individual, seemingly incoherent experiences. if you have never been here, you haven’t been “in subpace” (yet). And that’s fine. it is just that “subspace” is very different from everything else.

Conclusions:

There are no “stages of subspace”. There are however very different ways in which people experience and response to BDSM-activity. Much of that is biochemically determined.

Orgasm and “subspace” are two different, biochemically largely incompatible experiences.

Different biochemical reactions create different experiences (not levels of experience!). One is not better than the other. They are just different. It is important to understand these differences, because the wants and needs are different.

“Subspace” is a form of trance and should be dealt with accordingly. “Subspace” is not without risk.

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