Vibrators, Dildos, and Other Miscellany for Misbehaving

  • Rule One: Don’t knock sex toys until you’ve seen what they can do.
  • Rule Two: Always, always, always wash your sex toys.


let us start with the introductory vibrator, the kind you can any sex shops; it’s about four inches long and requires an AA battery Many women like to travel with these because they are discreet—and powerful. Sometimes they come with a penis-replica plastic sleeve, which makes it more of a dildo (which is a penis replica made of plastic or sometimes glass, while a vibrator contains batteries and, well, vibrates). Do not be afraid of this item. This is going to be a good friend of yours.

If your not sure on what vibe you need, why not check out our the beginner’s guide to vibrators

never make your woman choose between her vibrating dildo and you. You may not like the choice she makes  MissBitch

This device can be used to rocket oral sex into the next stratosphere. Gently insert it into the vaginal canal while you are licking and sucking the clitoris. As you establish a rhythm, feel free to begin rhythmically penetrating your woman with the vibrator. If you have the vibrator turned on, don’t pump up the volume just yet. Instead, use long and deep, penetrating strokes interspersed with short, rapid strokes, depending on your mutual mood.

Some women like having the vibrator inserted as far as it will go, motionless but turned on, during oral sex so that they are receiving dual stimulation but are not over stimulated. These climaxes can be overwhelming anyway and are deeply rewarding—she may tightly grab you at the moment of climax and urge you to press the vibrator even more deeply into her. Do not be afraid of the climax-clutch. It is simply an expression of your woman’s lasting excitement. When her climax is finished, she will probably push your face away and at this time you should gently, slowly remove the vibrator as well.

A related method involves inserting a very small vibrator in the anus. For the anally erotic gal, this is a real treat. A small vibrator can be slipped in during cunnilingus to excite and gratify. However, if you do not know the woman very well, or don’t know her feelings about anal penetration, make sure she okays the move first. You should never insert something into the anus as a “surprise” move. In order to insert anything into the anus, you need the conscious (but not overly, as in self-conscious) participation of your partner. You don’t have to stop licking and caressing her—just cover it in a water-based lubricant like K-Y jelly and make sure she knows that its coming by gently circling the anus and tapping against it before you slip the vibrator in. When you use the vibrator in the anus and your tongue and mouth on the clitoris, your woman will probably loose her cookies early on. But this is a fun alternative to the standard fare, and comes highly recommended. If you and your partner are ready for another variation, try using a second vibrator. One vibrator is gently inserted into the anus in the manner described above, while the other (usually larger) vibrator is inserted into the vagina. A pulsing sensation will occur all over the woman’s body when both vibrators are turned on and suddenly come into sync with each other. When the two vibrators, whose motors are not rotating at exactly the same speed, periodically drop into perfect phase with each other, the presence of you sucking and licking her clitoris becomes intensely pleasurable. This isn’t for everyday sex, but it is a wonderful way to spice things up and give her the kind of mind-blowing pleasure we all crave every once in awhile.


The only thing as remarkable as the long history of the dildo (quite possibly the oldest sex toy on earth) is the variety of shapes, sizes, textures, and colors this handy sex asset has assumed. Some of them are tapered enough to make them great for anal play, while others are curved for G-spot stimulation. But they can all add to your oral sex repertoire by keeping one sensitive area engaged while you’re busy with another. For G-spot stimulation, make sure you get something with a well-defined bulbous head, in addition to the traditional curved shape. Available in glass, metal, acrylic, silicone, jelly, cyberskin and a nearly limitless variety of other materials, dildos can range in style from the incredibly detailed and realistic to the fantastically abstract and unearthly—it’s all up to you and your woman. The important thing to remember is that, even if you might see fabric or leather or horsehair dildos available, the only truly safe ones are those that can be washed and disinfected like glass (with no chips), acrylic, metal-plated, and silicone. A particular and lovely trait of the glass dildo is that it can be placed under hot or cold running water for just a few minutes to contribute a new range of sensations to your partner. A great sidekick for a warm, lively little tongue.

Products in silicone, however, rightly deserve their reputation as goddess’s gift to sex toys. Silicone is smooth, non-sticky, and simultaneously resilient and soft. It absorbs body heat rapidly, so just rubbing it between your hands can make it something of a treat to gently insert into the orifice of your choice. Start playing with this stuff and you’ll both be late to work for a week. If you want to save some money, the products being made out of jelly aren’t bad. Some people even prefer jelly to silicone.

though I can’t say I agree with the jelly one. The jelly starts to become opaque over time and also gets sticky just sitting around eventually looking like an old lollipop collecting fibers, and with the new health warnings on jelly products, I personally don’t like to take chances :MissBonnie

Like all sex toys, dildos should be washed after every use, but the jelly products in particular pick up bits of dust and hair floating around everyday, so you should give them a nice washing both before and after. The final note on jelly toys is that they will always smell like plastic—like when a “made in China” product is first taken out of its airtight wrapping. This smell never completely leaves the jelly sex toy. Though it lessens somewhat. So, if your nostrils don’t flare with pleasure at the idea, stick to silicone.


And you thought you had to be abducted by aliens first.:MissBitch

Anal probing feels much more pleasurable than it sounds (though, as with all acquired tastes, it starts to sound as good as it feels) and lots of time and energy have been spent creating products that maximize this pleasure.

A metal or acrylic dildo is fine for vaginal play, but something softer and more forgiving is required for the anus.

When selecting a probe, make sure you get something soft enough, and with a graduated shaft that will allow you to insert to the desired width. Also, make sure you get something with a nicely sized handle. You don’t want to lose your grip—and neither does your partner.

As indicated by its name, the probe is longer than other toys created for anal insertion and is a great way to find out exactly where your woman wants anal stimulation.

Be aware that probes require constant attention as they tend to shift more than plugs.MissBonnie


Anal plugs are endlessly fun—so endless, in fact, that some people start wearing them all the time. (That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m one of them.)Missbitch

They come with a gorgeous array of decorations, using gemstones and different designs to give the butt a fashionable, naughty, or bejeweled look when inserted.

The most important thing to remember when selecting an anal plug—as with all anal toys—is the size.

A true beginner should start with something under seven ounces, no longer than two inches, and no wider than 11/4 inch at its widest point. If this is your first time, go for something nicely tapered for an easier entry, with a well-flared base so that it won’t slide too far in.MissBitch

If you plan to start wearing one all the time, just make sure yours has a very long, narrow (one inch or less) neck to keep it from falling out.

That might be rather difficult to explain at a morning meeting.MissBonnie


I’ll wear my pearls.” MissBitch

Ever wonder how strands of beads became so popular?

Sadly, it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re such awesome sex toys.

This toy is a great introduction to anal play, and usually consists of beads graduated in size from a few eighths of an inch in diameter on up. We have wonderful article for use with male subs if you interested (Selecting a strand that ranges from three-eighths to one inch will provide a little something for everyone.) Also, make sure that the beads are made of a smooth material.

Metal beads are to be avoided, as is any material harder than your finger.

Insert the beads gently, one bead at a time, into your (forewarned) partner until you reach the bead that almost won’t go in.
At the moment of orgasm (or whenever you feel the time is right), pull the beads out in one long, continuous motion by the ring or handle. Some people go wild over the insertion, but most find that the boon of the beads lies in their sudden extrication (which can heighten orgasms considerably).

A variant of the anal beads is an apparatus with a series of round, consecutively smaller spheres. This can be used similarly to an anal plug, but has some of the advantages of the beads. Also, as the beads commonly use nylon thread, this toy has the added benefit of being completely washable.

The most important ingredients when using sex toys, especially with anal toys, are lube and relaxation. MissBonnie

If you choose toys that are smooth in texture, and don’t fall for the “my eyes were bigger than my . . .” syndrome that hits all of us every once in a while, these toys will add hours—and perhaps a lifetime—of new pleasure to your repertoire.
if your new to anal pleasures you might like to read our anal beginners articles.
How to keep your toys clean
consider using them with a condom, and use only water-based lube on or around them.

Article: tomcat (Edited: in conjunction with MissBonnie and MissBitch) for the beginners guide to oral sex ©

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