BDSM is an alternate lifestyle that has several concepts that has made is quite different from mainstream relationships.
Because of these differences, BDSM is also quite controversial. One of the main controversies facing BDSM is the aspect of polygamy in a BDSM relationship. Polygamy has several ramifications for a person in their personal lives. For one, if a person is married in an alternate relationship, polygamy is illegal in some states of the US and most countries all over the world. In fact, the alternate lifestyle itself may be considered illegal in some countries around the world.
Apart from the legal aspects, polygamy has several mental and physical aspects related to it, which makes it one of the most complicated and crucial concepts in BDSM. Being in a polygamous relationship is never easy, and being in a BDSM relationship with polygamy is almost impossible. Though it might seem that the dominant has it simpler because he or she gets to control two or more submissives, it is not so.
With polygamy, the dominant is responsible for two submissives, and is therefore has to care and maintain for two submissives.
In fact, the relationship psychology between three or more people in a relationship can be so intense and complicated that the entire relationship can be blown out of the water, if the dominant is not careful and mature enough. Jealousy comes naturally to certain individuals, and while overt jealousy is detrimental to the relationship, some amount of jealousy is always needed to keep the relationship growing and ebbing. We should remember that one of the most important aspects of BDSM is a submissive being responsive and pleasing to the dominant.
It goes without saying that a person can be responsive or pleasing to another only if there is a relationship of respect and compassion between them. This respect and compassion can be greatly sabotaged if the person sees that there is someone else who has the same feelings toward the dominant and that these feelings are been replied to by the dominant too.
Polygamy is not a compulsory aspect in the realm of BDSM. There are several BDSM relationships that comprise of only the dominant and the submissive, in fact, the number of polygamous relationships are quite less as compared to the number of monogamous relationships in this realm.
Before you intend to get into any relationship, be it in an alternate lifestyle or the mainstream lifestyle, make sure that you know what you are getting into. It is a very good idea to ask the dominant whether they believe in polygamous or monogamous lifestyles. Also, while you are at it, you can even clarify whether the dominant would ever think of being in a polygamous relationship. If the dominant replies in the affirmative, you should think well and decide whether you would be all right and adjust well in a polygamous relationship.
Article: William Morris
Related On site links:
Polyamory – The basics of Poly
Polygamy – BDSM Relationships: Is Polygamy Compulsory?
poly_relationships – An Introduction to Polyamorous Relationships
Poly resources – Want to find out more about polyamory? Links also aimed at therapists and health-care professionals who want to learn more about polyamory
Poly bookshelf -what’s on your poly reading list?