The Ethical Slut
by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy
Often known as the poly bible, The Ethical Slut is possibly the biggest selling poly book ever. Wittily written and extensively researched by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy, this new edition of a classic which has been around for over a decade is full of wise tips for new players, and is a very useful introduction to polyamory. As you have probably guessed from the title, Easton and Liszt do not shy away from saying what they want. And in the world of polyamory, that skill is invaluable.
The authors cover a large number of topics involved in having multiple sexual relationships, looking at everything from STDs and dealing with the societal pressures against polysexuality to negotiation and relationship skills.
One of the many strengths of this book for many readers is its very direct, step-by-step explanations of (for example) negotiating types of sexual behavior. There’s also some very interesting material about jealousy, insecurity, and some interesting thoughts about where those feelings come from.
Another strength of this book is the direct, friendly tone of the authors. They make this book a great deal of fun to read.
Opening Up
by Tristram Taormino
“Bold advice for explorers of open relationships. Comprehensive, clear, and grounded in practical realities, this book is one of the best to come along in a long time!” – Deborah Anapol, Ph.D., author of Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits
Polyamory: The New Love Without Limits
by Deborah Anapol
“This book is a valuable guide for the establishing and nurturing of healthy intimate relationships that are responsibly nonmonogamous, and a valuable resource for educators and counsellors working in the fields of sexual, mental and emotional health.” – Dr Maria Pallotta-Chiarolli, Australian education, health and diversity researcher. Unlike The Ethical Slut, this book is structured more like a classic self-help book . Although it enthusiastically embraces diversity, some may find it more “straight-friendly”. Another foundation work in the polyamory bookshelf, Anapol’s book has been progressively revised over many years. Anapol is one of the best-known faces of polyamory in the US.
Love you two
by Maria Palotta-Chiarolli
This intense and engaged story of an Adelaide teenager struggling with the discovery that her family isn’t as it seems is a superb read for teenagers, young adult and adults alike. Australian author Maria Palotta-Chiarolli somehow manages to cover an enormous number of issues of lifestyle, sexual and ethnic diversity without becoming bogged down or over-complicating things. A superb writer of academic, educational and auto-biographical works, this is Palotta-Chiarolli’s first foray into fiction, and it is a truly stunning debut.
Sex At Dawn:
by Christopher Ryan and Cacilda Jetha
How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships. This is not, strictly speaking, a book about polyamory. Instead, it’s a wildly entertaining, meticulously researched tretise on the origins of human sexuality and the things that make us relate the way we do. The authors challenge the assumptions of monogamy as a norm for human relationships, in a provocative and fun-to-read way.
Open All the Way: Confessions From My Open Marriage
by Sadie Smythe (Kindle only)
Sadie Smythe is a well-known blogger who writes openly, frankly, and compellingly about her experiences in opening her long-term marriage. In this book, she documents the ups and downs, the lessons, the pitfalls, and the happiness of her own journey from monogamy to non-monogamy. This intertaining book is good reading for anyone seeking to open their own marriage.
Love in Abundance: A Counselor’s Advice on Open Relationships
by Kathy Labriola
Written by a professional relationship counselor, this book focuses on strategies for communication, negotiation, partner selection, and conflict resolution in polyamorous relationships. Written for people in non-monogamous relationships, but also likely to be useful to other counselors and therapists who want to learn more about non-monogamy.
The Art and Etiquette of Polyamory: A Hands-on Guide to Open Sexual Relationships
by Françoise Simpère
Another personal narrative, this book describes the author’s process to coming to her own polyamorous arrangement, and talks about the rules and ideas that keep her relationships healthy and happy. It’s written from a very specific perspective (long-term couples who want lovers on the side), and as such describes only one particular kind of polyamory. It offers practical suggestions and how-tos for couples looking to arrange non-monogamous relationships.
The Polyamory Handbook: A User’s Guide
by by Peter Bensen
This book is intended as a pragmatic approach to polyamory, covering topics like communication, emotional growth, sexual health, raising a poly family with children, and legal issues such as wills. Written mostly from a perspective of an established couple adding partners. Part anecdote, part interviews with poly couples, part advice, this wonderful book is an outstanding answer to the question “So how do you make non-monogamy work, anyway?” Through interviews with folks practicing a wide variety of different forms of non-monogamy, this book covers several styles of polyamory, swinging, and even polyamory for single people. There’s a companion blog as well.
Polyamory: Roadmaps for the Clueless & Hopeful
by Anthony Ravenscroft
Written with humor, wit, and style by a person with twenty years’ experience in polyamorous relationships, this book is a guidebook to the benefits, pitfalls, mistakes, and rewards of a poly life. Covers many of the mistakes the author has made without flinching, and lays out a roadmap for successful polyamorous relationships.
The Sex And Love Handbook:
by Kris A. Heinlein and Rozz M. Heinlein
Polyamory! Bisexuality! Swingers! Spirituality! & Even Monogamy! A Practical Optimistic Relationship Guide. This book, an overview of many relationship styles and sexual practices, explores the emotions, philosophies, risks and rewards of non-traditional sexual and romantic relationships. Written in an optimistic, enthusiastic style, it presents a wide range of relationship models engagingly and honestly.
The Myth of Monogamy: Fidelity and Infedelity in Animals and People
by David P. Barash and Judith Eve Lipton
Written by a husband and wife team of behavioral scientists, this book explores non-monogamy from a behavioral, genetic, and moral standpoint. The book is not hostile to monogamy, but it makes the statement that in humans, relationship model is a matter of both biology and choice, and that monogamy is not more inherently “natural” than non-monogamy.
The New Intimacy: Open-Ended Marriage and Alternative Lifestyles
by Rev.Ronald M. Mazur
This book advertises itself as “for non-traditionalists, those ready for new life and love affirmations.” The Rev. Dr. Ron Mazur has been an ordained minister, a university health educator, a clinical sexologist in private practice, and a pioneer in computer on-line networks.
Lesbian
The Lesbian Polyamory Reader
by Marcia Munson and Judith P. Stelboum (Editors)
A collection of stories, poetry, and essays on non-monogamous lesbian relationships, together with descriptions of solid frameworks for ethical non-monogamy.
Lesbian Polyfidelity: A Pleasure Guide for all Women Whose Hearts are Open to Multiple Sexual Loves
by Celeste West
Recommended by an online visitor; I don’t know much about this book personally, but it’s received excellent reviews.
List of books with polyamory, polyamorous themes, open-relationship themes, or relationship skills that apply to poly relationships. I have not read all of these books, so I don’t vouch for their quality: MissB.
http://www.listal.com/list/polyamory-books
MissBonnie©2012
Related On site links:
Polyamory – The basics of Poly
Polygamy – BDSM Relationships: Is Polygamy Compulsory?
poly_relationships – An Introduction to Polyamorous Relationships
Poly resources – Want to find out more about polyamory? Links also aimed at therapists and health-care professionals who want to learn more about polyamory
Poly bookshelf -what’s on your poly reading list?
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