Insider lingo

How talk to someone in Femdom and know the terminology

help with some basic Femdom terms…(also see Dictionary of terms)

Erotic power exchange or Femdom practices are full of its own special lingo. We’ll try to avoid it as much as we possibly can here but there are some basics you need to know.

The partner in charge is usually called dominant, Dom, Domme, top or master and sometimes the active partner. The other partner is usually either called submissive, sub, bottom or slave and sometimes the passive partner. People who like to play both ways are usually simply referred to as switches. We’ll have a lot more to say about all these roles later, but this will give you a basic foundation for our discussions here.

Top/bottom come from the gay and lesbian world; master/slave – although very often used today – mostly have their roots in early pornography. You can just about ignore the terms sadist and masochist since they are seldom used by those actually in the Lifestyle, although some subs may say they are masochistic as well, meaning that they (predominantly) enjoy pain impulses.

The classic shorthand for erotic power exchange is either S and M (sadomasochism) or BDSM, the latter being short for Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism. Other abbreviations in popular use are D and S or D/s (dominance and submission) and B and D (either bondage and dominance or bondage and discipline). Of course the BDSM acronym has now been expanded to also include D/s (Dominance and submission).

The words sadism and masochism were invented by Austrian psychiatrist R. Krafft-Ebing over a century ago, based on the names of two writers: De Sade and von Sacher-Masoch. Krafft-Ebing was not publishing about erotic power exchange but about mental diseases. And that, ever since, has created the confusion, the stereotyping and the prejudice. Just like de Sade was never a Marquis (French nobleman) but the son of a rich landowner, sadism and masochism as Krafft-Ebing used them, have virtually nothing to do with erotic power exchange. In an effort to avoid terms like S and M some people use the word algolagnia, which is again the wrong word. It comes from a combination of the Greek words algos (pain) and lagnia (lust). The problem here is that this is another misused term from the psychiatric world. Not everybody who is into erotic power exchange is also into pain.

Below are a few more terms in pretty common usage today (we’ll be adding more expansive writings about several of these later):

24/7 – Full time erotic power exchange relationship (24 hours/7 days)

Gorean – Erotic Power Exchange, based on the (SF) Gor novels of John Norman

Gothic – reference towards Medieval, Vampire or mystical style EPE

LDR – Long Distance Relationship (usually a euphemism for an Internet based – online – relationship)

Ligotage – The French (stylish) word for bondage

PE – Power Exchange

RL – Real Life (relationship)

SSC – Safe, Sane and Consensual (the basic tenants of EPE)

Torquemadian – Reference to Medieval style EPE, based on Torquemada, the infamous Spanish Inquisitor

TPE – Total Power Exchange

VICSS – Voluntary, Informed Consensual, Safe and Sane

Article by MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Related Articles:

Dictionary of terms – Talk like the lifestylers all the terms you need to know.

Dating Site Terminology

Terms You Should Know On Adult Dating Websites

Personal ads can get a little confusing when you are first starting out. I know I have often had a small laugh at myself trying to figure them out from time to time. This list is by no means all inclusive, but it should give you a starting point in trying to figure them out. (please note to make for interesting reading some answers are given in a light hearted manner)

A- of Asian ancestry.

AL- Animal Lover (watch this term, the meaning could mean bestiality or they just like animals)

AT- All That

Attached – This person is in some sort of committed relationship and may or may not have their significant other’s consent to go outside the relationship for sex. While a sexual encounter under such circumstances may be exciting, I advise extreme caution if you are considering a hook up with an attached individual – unless you happen to be bullet-proof and don’t own any property for someone to vandalize, in which case, no worries!

B– off Black origin or decent

BBW – Big Beautiful Woman. This is a woman with a large frame and usually is overweight. Not to be confused with a BMW, which is a make of automobile sometimes purchased by men in the hope that it will get them laid.

BD-Bondage/Domination

BHM– Big Handsome Man

Bi – Short for bisexual, or someone who is sexually attracted to people of both genders – which explains why the guy who is letting you bang his wife suddenly has his penis in your butt.

BJ – Short for Blow Job. A common offer you’ll get from gay men in response to your ad seeking women. Just keep your eyes closed and you’ll never know the difference – except for maybe the brush of razor stubble and the deep voice!

Bondage – Alternative sexual practice in which someone is tied or chained up as part of the sex play, not to be confused with bandage – a first aid implement for use when sexual activities get out of control. If your partner happens to have a British accent, it’s a good idea to clarify what she’s asking for. In a pinch, a length of bandage could be used for bondage.

C-Couple-(could also mean: Cute, Christian)

Couple Seeks Male For Her Pleasure – She gets pleasure from watching her husband perform anal sex on you.

D– Divorced

Daytime Fun – Refers to the desire for daytime sexual encounters, usually between the hours of 9:00 A.M. and 5:00 P.M. on weekdays. Also see definition for “Attached”.

D/D Free– Drug and Disease Free

DDF – Disease and Drug Free. This is someone who does not use drugs and who at least THINKS she does not have any sexually transmitted diseases (I recommend that you use a condom anyway)

Discrete / Discretion – Refers to the need to not be caught doing whatever one is doing in order to avoid non-discrete things like shootings and property destruction.

Dom – Short for dominant, or the dominating partner in a domination/submission relationship. Also, an expensive alcoholic beverage sometimes used to try to convince prospective sexual partners that you’re some kind of big shot. Also, the eldest member of the DeLuise family of actors whose naked image when imagined can be used to delay orgasm or eliminate an ill-timed erection.

Domme-Female version of above, and best prefered to not resemible the oldest member of the DeLuise family.

F– Female

FA– Fat Acceptance

FS– Financially Secure (could also mean: Financially Stable)

FTA– Fun Travel Adventure

G-Gay sexual orientation

GSOH– Good Sense of Humor

Herpes – What your sex partner actually said when you’re wondering why they told you they have a hair piece yet her hair seems completely natural.

HWP – Height and Weight Proportionate. To most people, this means they are of “average” proportions and not significantly overweight. In my experience though, for some people, HWP means they are approximately as wide as they are tall.

H-Hispanic origin

I– Indian origin

IPT– Is Partial To

ISO– In Search Of

J– Jewish

K-Kids

LD-Light Drinker

LDR-Long Distance Relationship.

LDS-Latter Day Saints

LS-Legally Separated could also mean: Light Smoker

LD-Long distance

LTLDR-Long term long distance relationship

Married – Refers to a typically sex relationship.

M– Male (could also mean: Married, but this is not common usage and normally only used in swingers-type personals)

MILF – An acronym for Mother I’d Like To Fuck. Often means “single mom looking for a baby-daddy”.

MM– Marriage Minded

NA-Native American

NBM-Never Been Married

ND-Non-Drinker

NK-No Kids (has also been known on some dating sites to also mean NO kink

NM-Not Married (could also mean: Never Married)

NS-Non-Smoker

Oral Sex – Use of the mouth to stimulate the genitals of a sexual partner. Or, in the case of someone who is married, or in an otherwise unfulfilling committed relationship, addressing one’s partner by saying “Fuck you!”.

Professional – May refer to the status of an individual who has an advanced college degree and works in a carreer which requires licensure or special certification. On dating sites in general, it may simply mean that the person is employed – possibly as a convenience store clerk. On adult dating sites, it may mean that the person is employed as a prostitute.

S-Single

Safety Word – A pre-agreed word or phrase used in sado-masochistic sex play to indicate to your partner to stop doing whatever she is doing (in cases where simply saying “Would you mind not butt-raping me with that giant motorized dildo any more? It’s really beginning to hurt!” would be ignored as part of the sex-play). It is a good idea to choose a safety word that both you and your partner can easily remember.

Self-Employed – Unemployed and looking for a man to pay her bills.

Single – Indicates that the person is not married or in a committed relationship, but in the adult dating realm may have the alternate definition meaning “married”.

Shaved – In the adult dating world, usually refers to the removal of hair from the pubic area, but could refer to almost any body part, including the head, so you might want to ask, particularly if you happen to be a person “of color” and you might be talking to a skinhead.

SD– Social Drinker

SI– Similar Interests

SOH– Sense of Humor

Strap-On – An artificial penis or other phallic “tool” typically worn by a female for the purpose of anal or vaginal penetration of a sex partner, not to be confused with Snap-On, a popular line of mechanics’ tools, which in a pinch could be used in a similar manner.

STD – Sexually Transmitted Disease – Be careful not to confuse this with FTD, which is a chain of florists. If you’re not sure which one your partner just said, be sure to ask for clarification.

STOP – A useful word for times when something your sexual partner is doing is painful or freaking you out.

Sub – Short for submissive, or the passive partner in a domination/submission relationship. Also, a type of sandwich, which can be used to satisfy post-sex hunger.

TV/TS/TG – Transvestite / Transsexual / Transgendered. Transvestites are “cross-dressers” – people who dress, behave, and attempt to have the appearance of the opposite gender (and are sometimes remarkably good at doing so). Transsexuals and transgendereds are individuals who were born as one gender and have been (or are in the process of being) surgically and hormonally converted to the physical characteristics of the opposite gender.

OMG – Shorthand for “Oh My God!!!!” – The phrase commonly screamed when one first discovers he’s having sex with a TV/TS/TG because they didn’t read this page.

Viagra – Popular prescription treatment for erectile dysfunction which has the potential side-effect of permanent blindness – but who cares about that as long as you can have sex right?

Water Sports – In the realm of adult dating sites, they ain’t talking about swimming! Water sports refers to activities in which someone is urinated on for the sexual gratification of the pee-er, the pee-ee, or both peeps.

W/-With

W/O-With Out

W-White (can also stand for: Widowed)

WAA-Will Answer All (as in will respond to all contacts/questions about their online personal ad)

Wi-Widowed

WLTM-Would Like To Meet

WTR– Willing to Relocate

X– Extreme (could also mean adult situations OK)

Y-You/Your

YO-Years Old

I hope you have found this guide useful and that you are now well-prepared to survive and prosper in the world of adult dating websites. Good luck!

Resource Article : MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

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