Erotic biting is a practice that compels a range of physical and psychological responses, making it a captivating element of intimate encounters. People may be drawn to this form of sensual play for numerous reasons, many of which are rooted in the dynamics of pleasure and power. Biting can serve as a catalyst for heightened arousal, intensifying the physical sensations experienced during intimacy. This stimulation is often linked to the release of endorphins and other hormones, which contribute to a sense of euphoria and overall enjoyment.
In the context of a femdom relationship, biting can symbolize dominance and submission, deepening the emotional connection and intimacy between partners. When one partner administers a bite, it can trigger feelings of vulnerability in the submissive partner, while simultaneously delivering a rush of excitement. This interplay of power dynamics enhances the experience, making it more thrilling and profound for both individuals involved.
Some people love biting because it feels pleasurable. For some people it feels so good that being bitten can trigger an orgasm without any other stimulation. For others it’s just a pleasant tingle, or a unique kind of pain with a distinctly pleasurable undertone.
Additionally, the physiological response to biting is similar to other forms of playful pain, which can lead to a sense of exhilaration. The body often responds with increased heart rate and adrenaline release, creating a sensation that some may find pleasurable. The incorporation of biting into a sensual encounter can create a unique blend of affection and raw emotion, appealing to those who enjoy exploring such contrasts in their intimate lives.
Biting is often a staple activity of primal play. “Primal” is a general term for a kink identity and type of play that involves a lot of animalistic behaviours: biting, scratching, howling at the moon, and generally retreating to a more primal state of being. Would you like to read more about Primal play
Furthermore, erotic biting aligns with various kinks and fetishes, allowing individuals to explore their desires in a safe and consensual environment. The allure of erotic biting may stem from its ability to evoke feelings associated with primal instincts, where the act becomes a delicious taboo. In conclusion, the enjoyment of erotic biting is multifaceted, integrating psychological, emotional, and physical components that make it a popular practice in intimate relationships.
Negotiation Matters
You should always check with someone before biting them. This can be during a formal negotiation process if you’re doing a full-on BDSM scene, or a flirty hypothetical if you’re on a date. “Do you like being bitten?” isn’t a totally outrageous question once you’ve gotten to know someone a bit.
Most people enjoy being bitten to some degree, but it comes with caveats. Some people mark very easily, i’m one of those!. Some people cannot afford to have marks because of their job or swim classes or massage appointments etc etc the reasons can be a mile long but it always pays to ask FIRST. Some people only enjoy being bitten in certain places, and find other bite sites painful and unpleasant. Some people only like a certain kind of bite.
There’s no way you can really know these things without asking – and you can’t remove bite marks once you’ve made them – so always negotiate before you sink your teeth into your lover.
How To Do Erotic Biting Safely and Enjoyably
Engaging in erotic biting can enhance the sensual experience between partners, particularly in a femdom dynamic. However, safety and communication are paramount to ensure that both participants derive pleasure from this form of play.
To begin, it is crucial to select the right areas of the body for biting. Sensitive regions, such as the neck, earlobes, or inner thighs, can heighten arousal without causing undue pain. On the other hand, bony areas, like the elbows or knees, should generally be avoided to prevent discomfort.
The best place to site a bite is somewhere fleshy. If you’re new to biting or being bitten, here are some relatively safe areas to start experimenting:
Arse cheeks
Stomach
Biceps
Thighs
Breasts (if you have them)
The thing which all of these spots have in common is that they’re not too close to anything super-sensitive or vital. Things would have to go really wrong for any serious damage to occur when you’re biting someone’s arse cheek, for example.
You may wish to bite or be bitten in other places… and, indeed, some of the more interesting sensations arise from bites to sensitive areas. Some slightly-risky but still commonly-bitten body parts are:
Wrists and backs of hands
Back and sides of the neck
Genitals and nipples
Lips, tongues, earlobes
You should be cautious whenever biting someone, and extra-cautious when biting anyone in these sensitive areas. Biting too hard can cause some really unsexy damage.
When exploring various biting techniques, consider starting with gentle nibbles. These light bites can serve as a precursor to firmer bites, allowing partners to gauge each other’s reactions. It is essential to maintain an open dialogue about what feels pleasurable and what does not; this communication can lead to a more rewarding experience. Establishing clear boundaries is necessary, as each individual may have different levels of sensitivity and preference regarding pressure. Some may enjoy light, teasing bites, while others may seek a firmer approach.
To facilitate an enjoyable environment, partners should agree on safe words or signals that indicate when to stop or adjust intensity. This practice helps to build trust and ensures that the experience remains consensual and enjoyable for both parties. Furthermore, regularly checking in with each other during the activity is a beneficial way to understand if the biting is still within comfort zones.
Ultimately, being mindful of each partner’s limits and preferences is essential. This awareness not only enhances safety but also fosters a deeper connection, ultimately leading to a satisfying and pleasurable experience in erotic biting.
Marks
Erotic bites while they can be fun, teeth leave marks – often very distinct marks that can be hard to hide. A human bite is pretty recognisable, and pretty difficult to explain unless you have a wayward toddler with a large mouth and don’t mind blaming them (Not advised lol). If you like being bitten, it’s worth taking a moment to think about whether you’re going to have to bare any skin in the near future, and how it will look to have bite marks there when you do.
In order to avoid embarrassing situations, you should let your lover know when you can only be bitten in areas that will be covered by your clothing, or when you cannot have any marks at all.
Exploring Different Types of Erotic Bites
In the realm of sensual play, biting can manifest in various forms, each offering its own unique experience. Understanding the different types of bites is essential for enhancing intimacy and communication between partners, especially within a femdom dynamic. The following sections outline several styles of bites that can be effectively integrated into erotic play.
Beginning with light nibbles, this gentle approach serves as an excellent introduction to the concept of biting. These soft grazes often stimulate the skin’s sensitivity and can evoke playful feelings. Light nibbles can be strategically employed during gentle foreplay or as a teasing gesture, creating an atmosphere of suspense and excitement. The key to using light bites is to pay attention to your partner’s reactions, as their enjoyment will guide the intensity of subsequent interactions.
As the sensual experience progresses, playful chomping can introduce a more exhilarating element to the dynamic. This technique involves a firmer grip, creating a feeling of excitement and perhaps a hint of surprise. The playful nature of this bite allows for a balance of dominance and submission, fostering trust and consent between partners. It is advisable to communicate openly about boundaries when employing this technique to ensure mutual enjoyment.
Deeper bites represent another layer of intensity and can heighten the sensations experienced during erotic activities. These bites require careful consideration and a strong foundation of trust, as they can evoke stronger physical and emotional responses. When incorporating deeper bites, it is important for partners to discuss their comfort levels and establish safe words to maintain a sense of security. Observing feedback from your partner is crucial, as it will help gauge their enjoyment and willingness to explore this more intense form of biting.
Ultimately, integrating various biting styles throughout your sessions can ensure that each experience remains fresh and enjoyable. Listening to your partner’s feedback not only enhances the interaction but also encourages deeper connections and understanding. By skillfully adapting each technique, you can cultivate a sensuous environment filled with discovery and pleasure.
Understanding the Importance of Aftercare
Aftercare plays a crucial role in any erotic experience, particularly in activities like sensual biting. It serves as a bridge between the heightened emotional and physical states experienced during play and the return to everyday life. After engaging in erotic biting, partners may find themselves in a vulnerable state, making it essential to create an environment of safety and support. Emotional fluctuations and physical sensations experienced during such intimate encounters warrant attention to ensure both parties feel cared for and valued.
Emotional Support Post-Play
One of the key components of aftercare is emotional support. Following a session that includes biting, it is essential to check in with your partner, discussing feelings and sensations that arose during the experience. This dialogue aids in reinforcing the bond between partners and ensures that both individuals feel understood and respected. The act of sharing allows for addressing any discomfort or concerns that might have surfaced, fostering a strong sense of trust and communication going forward.
Physical Care After Sensual Erotic Biting
In addition to emotional care, physical aftercare is equally important. After a biting session, gentle gestures such as soothing touches or cuddling can help to ground both partners. Applying a cool compress or using soothing lotions may alleviate any physical discomfort experienced due to biting, while also providing a nurturing environment. Engaging in mutual care not only helps heal any potential marks but also reaffirms the commitment to each other’s well-being.
When it comes to biting your partner do have an adequate First Aide kit in case of emergencies?
However careful you are, people sometimes get carried away. I’m a biter I understand how easy it is. It’s not uncommon to end up with a bite mark that’s a little more severe than you’d like, or which is situated somewhere a little too visible.
In the short term (during the hours following the bite) cold is your friend. You can apply an ice pack or press a cold spoon against your bite. Between treating slip the spoon into the freezer!. However, don’t use something extremely cold, or leave something cold in contact with your skin for so long that you end up with a cold burn on top of the bite!
In the longer term (during the weeks following the bite), try arnica for minimising bruises, bio-oil for reducing scars, and tattoo concealer for hiding the bite if it’s in an inconvenient place. Assuming you haven’t broken the skin, you don’t need to cover it with a plaster or apply medicated ointment of any kind.
Dealing with broken skin
Most people – biters and bitees both – don’t want bites to break the skin. Mainly this is just because it’s too painful. Breaking the skin can transform a pleasant, spine-tingling bite into something that’s actually distressing.
Also breaking through the skin also makes biting rather more risky. The average human mouth is full of dirt and germs and all manner of grossness. A skin-breaking bite risks injecting all that germy badness directly into the receiver’s bloodstream.
That said, if you do accidentally break the skin (or if you and your partner both like bites that break the skin) don’t worry too much about it. You should, of course, be extremely mindful of any damage you’re causing, and understand that these bites will take much longer to heal or scar– if, indeed, they ever do fully heal.
Wash any bites that break the skin very thoroughly with soap and water. Cover them with a dressing until they stop bleeding, and then treat as you would any other wound. Be vigilant for signs of infection.
If a bite won’t stop bleeding, is so big it requires wound closure, or is particularly deep or severe you should go see a doctor. And also, perhaps, consider going a little easier next time – however fun it may be, your play shouldn’t end up causing you severe or permanent damage.
Engaging in Aftercare Activities
Aftercare activities can vary widely, and it is important to explore what feels right for both partners. Beyond soothing touches or cuddling, partners may wish to engage in discussions about the encounter, sharing positive aspects and areas for growth. This mutual reflection enhances the experience and contributes to a deeper understanding of desires and limits. Ultimately, taking the time for aftercare ensures that both partners feel appreciated, leading to a more fulfilling and intimate connection in future encounters.
I was walking in some of those narrow streets on the left bank of Seine. It was late the evening, and I had finished the work that brought me to Paris and was just soaking in the atmosphere of the city. I heard a voice speak close in my ear:
I saw a thin woman of medium height with dark brown, almost black hair that fell just beyond her shoulders.
“Oh–English, then?”
Her voice carried the very faintest trace of an accent–so faint that it was hard to place. German or Dutch, maybe.
“Oh–yes. Where do you want to go?”
“The Ritz–I seem to always get lost on this side of the river.”
I started to describe the bridges to look for.
“Would you mind terribly –I mean if you aren’t busy–could you just show me?”
As she was talking I had a minute to catch up with the situation. I realized that I had initially mistaken her age. Although she could not have been much more than thirty, I had taken her for older. I realized that she was wearing clothes of the very best style of thirty years ago. They were apparently new and clearly expensive, but the mismatch in age gave the queer impression of an older woman.
As we walked, she asked what brought me to Paris.
“Work–I’m an IT troubleshooter. My company sends me around to various cities when something breaks that the locals can’t handle.”
She smiled.
“And do you like traveling so much?”
“Oh yes–I’m learning about all kinds of different places…”
As we chatted, we found ourselves at the Ritz. I had walked by it a few times, but had never been inside–its prices weren’t exactly within my per diem.
“I insist that you accept a drink in thanks.”
Her voice was subtly different–more authoritative.
The doorman seemed to recognize her, and when we sat down at a small table in the corner, she lifted a finger slightly.
To my surprise, the waiter arrived almost immediately with two glasses filled with a rich amber liquid.
“They know my order, here, you know–it’s one of the reasons I come back. Cheers!”
I followed her motion, raising the glass to my nose. A rich smell, laced with hints of peat and seaweed, filled my nostrils.
“I mostly stick to the Islay single malts–have you tried them before?”
I pretended a knowledge of Scotch well beyond my actually experience of a mistaken order of a double Glenlivet in college.
She continued to quiz me on my life, my job, my travels. Several times I tried to redirect the conversation to why she was in Paris or what (if anything) she did. But she always responded with a silvery laugh and another question of her own.
I let her guide me in the time appropriate for consuming a scotch, neat. After our glasses had been empty for a bit, I began to make noises about needing to get up early for work. Not that I was anxious to leave such a mysterious companion, but after all, I was just the navigator.
“Well, I can’t have you being fired and lose the chance to meet up with you again sometime, can I?”
So saying, she took a small notepad from her handbag, together with what was soon revealed to be a fountain pen. She wrote a number on on the paper, tore it out of the pad and gave it to me.
“Keep in touch, my dear.”
Part 2: Missed connections
That paper ate a hole in my mind, I must confess. After two days I couldn’t resist and sent a text inviting her to a bistro I had found.
“Thanks darling–but I’m not in Paris any more. But tell me next time you are over here in Europe.”
And so started a series of text messages. Two or three times, I tried to connect with her on various trips, but since I didn’t know where she lived or what she did, the chances of anything coming out of this seemed remote.
At the same time, she was getting to know me at least fairly well. Dating history (not much since Clara left me two days after I proposed, and she accepted), work, school, everything.
One day, she asked about art:
“Ever bought something at Sotheby’s?”
On an IT consultant’s salary?
“Since you will be in London, can you collect something for me? You can give to me when we meet up.”
How could I say no?
I was sure they were going to call security on me when I walked to the auction house’s front office. But they were exceedingly polite.
“Ms. Naomi has been waiting for this for a long time–thank you for taking it to her.”
And I walked out with a small, heavy, package wrapped in brown paper.
“Did you get it?”
“Yes…”
“Did you look at it yet?”
“Oh–I didn’t think I was meant to.”
“Of course you may–you might find it…educational.”
It was a small painting of a woman in modern riding dress, holding a riding crop over her head with both hands. Her hips were jutting out to one side, with the crop held to the other. She looked like a woman you would not want to cross.
“Why this painting?” I asked her.
“Oh–it just spoke to me.”
“So you like horses?”
“Not particularly.”
Part 3: A Second Meeting
I started to send her my travel plans further in advance when I could. Finally, she answered that she would be in London the same evening that I would.
We met around 9 for a late dinner at a small restaurant of her choosing. It was an odd place. No sign advertised its presence, and the furnishings, while of the highest quality, were dated and used. But no one would question the food or the service–I had a perfectly cooked steak, accompanied by a red wine that I had never heard of, but would have been happy to drink for the rest of my life.
I was cutting a piece of steak when Naomi asked:
“Have you asked for that promotion yet?”
The question surprised me, and my knife slipped, drawing a drop of blood on my left hand.
“Oh dear–let me help…”
For the first time since I had met her, I heard a note of excitement in her voice. As she used the napkin to clean the cut, I saw her finger collect a drop of blood. When she brought that hand across her lips for a moment, the drop vanished…
“You really should talk to Carl–you’re doing two people’s work and getting paid for three-quarters of one person.”
Said with a knowing smile and wink: Even if she couldn’t have been more than four years older, she somehow always made me feel young, inexperienced, naive.
I gave the painting into her keeping.
“Who knows–maybe I’ll find something similar for you to hang in your bedroom.”
After dinner, she insisted on walking me to my hotel.
“We need to upgrade your travel options, but there’s time for that.”
We were walking down a narrow alley I had not ever noticed before when a voice called out:
“Ms. Naomi–can we get your box ready?”
I started: the voice came from a woman in leather trousers, a corset top and six inch heels. Her arms were bare except for a pair of spiked leather bracelets.
“Oh–not tonight, Clarice. But enjoy!”
The woman looked me over with rather obvious distain, but said nothing to me.
“Ok–sorry to miss you.”
With Naomi, on the other hand, her tone was almost obsequious.
“Just an acquaintance,” Naomi said, in answer to my questioning look.
“Still–you might enjoy it. Are you still in town tomorrow?”
When I told her I was, she send me a code by text.
“It will only work tomorrow night–I’d better remind you of the address too.”
Part 4: Observing
Heeding Naomi’s advice not to be late, I was at the same door in the alley promptly at 10PM the next night. Clarice was there, and no more welcoming than the night before.
“Samantha, show this one to his booth.”
Another woman, dressed almost identically, walked forward.
“Well, don’t just stand there–chop chop.”
She led me to one of a number of booths than opened from the back. Inside was just room for a chair and a table across the front. They faced an empty stage. The booths were constructed in such a way that while I could see the stage and another woman watching the booths, I could not see if any of the other booths were occupied.
“Your hands must remain on the table at all times. If you remove them, you will be escorted out.”
She closed the door with a click.
A voice announced:
“Lot 72: Martin. Offered without reserve.”
Onto the stage walked a naked man. He was probably in his forties, not in the best shape, looking at the ground. He turned so that all of his body could be seen from the booths.
“Thank you.”
He walked off stage.
The voice continued:
“Please welcome Lady Christine.”
Another tall lady in leather pants and a corset walked on stage. She led another man on a leash behind her.
This man was younger and in fantastic condition, thin but with sinuous muscles. The leash attached to a leather collar, but he was also otherwise naked. His body was hairless except for his pubic hair, which had been trimmed into a heart. It was somehow a perfect emasculation: taking the idealized masculine form and mocking it with a single gesture.
“Six!”
Hearing her voice, the man instantly placed his hands behind his head, fingers interlocked. He spread his legs so that everyone could see his cock and balls hanging openly.
Crack!
Without warning, the woman brought a crop she had been hiding at her side up and caught the man in the testicles. It was impossible to tell if the blow was actually that hard, but if it wasn’t, the man groaned and tensed his abdomen in a very convincing manner.
“Four!”
The man dropped to his knees, hands clasped behind him. When she walked over to him, he bent over to kiss the top of her boots without ever releasing his hands. He then straightened up, holding his body core rock steady.
“Nine!”
This time he rose smoothly, then bent over completely, grasping his ankles with his hands.
Crack! Crack! Crack!
This time, the blows were applied to his backside–first one cheek, than the other. As they continued, I found myself holding my breath, wondering what the man would do.
“Four–hold!”
Without a sign that he had felt the assault, he was back on his knees, this time holding the kiss to her boots for what seemed like three or four minutes. You could see his bottom grow redder and redder as he knelt.
“Ten!”
He stood to attention, hands at his sides.
“Good boy. Follow.”
She led the man off stage. There was no sound or applause.
I was beginning to get excited for the next display, but Samantha opened the door.
“Your invitation is at an end. You will leave now.”
Without a further word, she led me to another door, which opened onto the same bleak alley. When she closed it behind me, I heard the lock click home.
Part 5: Going deeper.
When I arrived back at my hotel, there was a note for me, attached to a single deep crimson rose.
“I hope you enjoyed my little treat. But I don’t want to hear that you’ve been trying to get back in there. Watching is too easy.”
I thanked Naomi, promising exactly what she asked.
Her next text came two days later and was a cryptic request:
“Now I need a gift from you.”
I had to answer with a question:
“What could I offer you?”
“Oh my dear, so many things. But today, I just want your fantasies. Write me a story–a story about what you’re afraid to tell anyone.”
It took three weeks, but I wrote her my college fantasy — of the senior girl who invited me to her room and then locked my arms to her chair legs and made me eat her out for hours while she studied. Not an original story, but still.
“Just about what I expected. But still–a nice first effort.”
I was a bit hurt that my three weeks merited a one line answer, but she wasn’t done.
Two days later she sent a link.
My story was on a website–with full photographical illustrations. They followed the narrative perfectly and the two models were both beautiful and clearly not just pretending to carry out the events in my story.
“Be sure to look at the comments.”
There were dozens. Probably the least offensive read:
“A slut like you should be plugged and caged before being given such a privilege. You’d best hope I don’t get to do to you what I would do with you in this position…”
The only thing I could think to write in answer was:
“Dare I ask how you arranged this?”
“Oh my dear–you know me. Lots of friends in dark places…”
A few weeks later, I received a card.
“A room has been reserved for you at Hotel an der GrünerBerg. You will need to bring only any required medications for your visit–all other necessities will be provided for you.”
I was in fact traveling to Germany the week of the invitation, and knew I could easily rent a car for the drive over to the mountains.
“Did you get my card?”
“I did–but I don’t think I understand.”
“I’ll just ask you to keep an open mind. I guarantee no one will every learn a thing about your visit.”
Her answer was not exactly reassuring, but somehow three weeks later I found myself guiding a rental car up a rather terrifying mountain road full of switchbacks, blind corners and stunning drop-offs.
Hotel an der GrünerBerg turned out to be a picture-perfect mountain lodge, with the slightly odd characteristic of having been built into the mountain in such a way that most of it would be in the shadow of surrounding peaks throughout the day. A sign in four languages announced that there were no vacancies.
The lobby was full of antlers, beer steins and other almost trite Germanic knickknacks. But there was not rustic about the severe young man at the checkin desk.
“I’m sorry–the hotel is full.”
“Ah…I have a reservation.”
He actually blinked as I handed him the card. But I didn’t like the smile he made after glancing at it.
“But of course. You’ll find your reception room down the hall –third door to the right. Have you any medications? No? Very well. You may leave your bags, and we will bring them to you later.”
The hallway in question was rather dark. The third room to the right turned out to be something close to a dressing room. There was a door in the wall at waist height, a full length mirror, and a bench with a folded pair of clothes, a pill and a note. The door had no lock.
The note read:
Welcome. Please read this carefully. If you do not agree to these terms, you may of course leave at once.
1) During your stay you agree to undertake all of the instructions that your Trainer gives you. If you find yourself unable to do so, you will be most welcome to leave without any hurt feelings.
2) Please remove all of your clothing and place it on the shelf in the door to your left. It will be returned to you tomorrow upon your departure.
3) The pill should be taken at once. We have carefully checked, and it will not cause you any permanent effects.
4) When you have put on the clothes provided, you may ring the bell for your Trainer.
Why did I follow these instructions to the letter? Curiosity? Some latent obedience fetish? Who knows. But five minutes later I was looking at myself in the mirror. I was dressed in a loose cotton one piece jumpsuit of grey and white strips. It was about the most unattractive garment imaginable. I heard the bell ring as I pressed it, my heart pounding wildly.
Click, click, click.
The door opened, and I found myself blinking twice. The woman in front of me was Samantha from the theatre in London. She was dressed in essentially business attire: white blouse, skirt, heels.
“Oh. You.”
I didn’t know how to respond.
“It doesn’t matter. We have a lot to do. First off, you probably want to know about that pill. It’s not what you are thinking. It just what you might call an ‘anti-viagra.’ Men like you will get overly excited around real women like me, and that’s just, well, icky. Hence the pill.”
She reached down and brought up a leather collar attached to a leash.
“You’ll need to put this on–I wouldn’t want you to think that’d I’d have the slightest interest in ‘owning’ something like you. But you’ll need to learn to follow the leash.”
For two hours she taught me to follow her, never letting the leash go taut, but never letting myself approach her too closely, even if she stopped or turned suddenly.
“You have no real natural talents, but at least you do listen and try. Time for position training.”
She led me to a room with a large poster. It showed the numbered positions I had seen modeled at the theatre. There was an empty boot in a raised position on the floor.
“If you are very lucky, you might be allowed to kiss my boot before you leave, but I wouldn’t count on it.”
We spent the rest of the day practicing the positions. I was not naturally terribly flexible and was definitely feeling every muscle by about 9pm.
“Bedtime.”
Picking up my leash, she led me down a narrow staircase to a tunnel that seemed to have been cut into the rock of the mountainside. From a pocket she removed a large ornate key.
“You are not permitted to leave your room during the night except in emergencies. This level will release the door lock in that case. You will receive your meal in a few moments: you will have 15 minutes to eat before lights-out.”
The “room” was cut into the rock as well. It contained an alcove with sink and toilet as well as a sleeping niche also cut into the rock. The air was chilly and damp, but the bed was covered with a soft, thick duvet. The door was just made of bars and anyone looking in could see the entire room, including the bathroom alcove, at a glance.
Samantha locked the door and left without another word.
A few moments later another woman slipped a tray of food under the door.
“Eating must be done in position four.”
And so I ate kneeling on the stone floor, its rough bumps digging into my sore knees. The meal itself was simple but surprising good: fresh bread, grilled vegetables, fruit juice and, oddly, a chocolate chip cookie.
I had barely finished my meal and evening oblations when, with a sharp “click” the lights went out and it became instantly pitch black.
Whether I was the only person in this subterranean dungeon or whether the walls were just too thick to hear my companions, the absolute silence was as eerie as the darkness. For lack of an option, I wrapped myself in the duvet and, despite the unnerving surroundings, fell asleep at after a few moments.
“Click”
The lights came on far before I was ready for them.
The day was a repeat of the night before: walking, positions with the added pleasure of ending with a hard workout on a treadmill, where my one piece clothes got soaked in perspiration.
A bell rang somewhere.
“Finally. You may go. You clothes are in room 27–you may also use the shower before you leave. You can expect my report in two or three weeks.”
Part 6: Choices
“Did you have a nice visit?”
The problem with text messages is that its never easy to discern whether they are meant ironically.
“It was certainly a new experience.”
“Don’t worry–you don’t have to give me the details. Samantha has promised me a copy of your report card. I hope your marks aren’t too bad.”
I wasn’t sure I wanted to continue this conversation.
As promised, the marked arrived three weeks later.
Deportment: C
Physical fitness: B-
Tractability: B+
Flexibility: D-
Training for service: C-
Summary: “The subject is willing and generally obedient. He does not have the physical form to be a public-facing example of our processes, but could probably find a minor role where little initiative is needed. Overall recommendation: Further training suggested.”
Included in the report was a guide to the positions and an exercise program.
“Have you been practicing?”
My attempts to distract Naomi from her interest in the class in the mountains had been entirely unsuccessful: instead she had needled and egged a full history out of me. And now she was continually asking about my practice and exercise routine.
That actually would have been fine except for one thing. I was practicing. One, sometimes two hours a day. Something had flipped in my head, and I just wanted to know those positions–to show someone (Samantha?) that I could do it. And, it was beginning to look like I could–and moreover, I had started watching myself take them in the mirror. Naked. Because the training routine was working too. I wasn’t yet a chiseled god like at the theatre, but I was closer to that than the poor sale lot before him. What was I doing?
I had a chance to find out soon enough. A card arrived.
“You are invited to continue your training. After our full week program, you will have the skills and discipline to be a credit to any place you appear.”
Please notice the following rules for this program:
1) Males will be expected to wear chastity cages at all times. A sizing guide is included so that we may have an appropriately-sized cage ready for you on arrival.
2) Clothing is not allowed for trainees
3) To improve your technique and foster a mind-set of obedience, physical punishments will be given by your trainer.
4) You may encounter other trainees and trainers. No privacy can be expected during the training sessions.
We await your positive answer by return mail.”
Three weeks later, I was again watching my clothes disappear into the door in the wall at Hotel an der GrünerBerg. This time there was nothing to replace them.
Without warning, Samantha walked in. Rather than the office wear of last time, she had the full fetish outfit: a leather bodysuit, thigh-high boots and fishnets. In her hand was a riding crop.
“Well, that’s a disappointing start.” Her voice was cold.
I realized to my horror that my cock had already responded to her outfit in its own way.
“Smack”
I nearly doubled over as she directed a sharp slap to my balls. I would come to learn that it wasn’t that hard a strike, but it certainly solved the problem.
“Position 6”
With my hands laced behind my head and legs spread, I could only watch as she fit the cage to my now limp cock, locked it on and hung the key around her neck. She said nothing, letting me stand there feeling the strange new weight attached to my body.
We spent that day in further training, learning how to move, stand and even exercise while wearing the cage. Shortly before meal time she said:
“You’re lucky–time for a relaxing spa break.”
I looked at her, confused.
Without a further word, she led me by the leash to what was indeed the hotel spa and up to a woman in her forties.
“Full treatment please.”
Without a word, the woman pointed me to a bench.
An hour later, I had no hair from my eyebrows down, except for that little heart-shaped patch above my locked cock. I was sore, humiliated and tired. And the day wasn’t done.
I was finally led to my cell four hours later. In the tunnel, we passed another pair: a beautiful woman and a pudgy, pale naked man. Both of us were caged and neither of us met the other’s eyes.
The week continued. I was sore, but growing more confident in my movements, in my body being on display, in the control of my cock by the cage. And then all of that confidence evaporated.
Samantha was leading me by the leash through a corridor in the hotel. I heard a door open, but kept my gaze downwards as Samantha had taught me.
“Oh–you look just good enough to eat!”
Involuntarily, I looked up. It was Naomi, dressed as usual in perfect designer clothes from twenty years ago. She was looking over my naked form with frank interest, and I could feel every inch of my exposed skin go bright red. She laughed a silvery laugh.
“Thank you, Samantha–would the two of you like to come in so you can report?”
“Of…of course miss.”
I was very surprised to hear anxiousness and deference in Samantha’s voice–totally unlike the harsh, commanding tone she used with me.
The office was softly carpeted and lit by diffuse light coming through the mountain-shadowed windows.
“Four!”
I knelt down in the soft carpet. Samantha stood almost at attention, her neck oddly cocked to one side. There was a bit of redness on the exposed skin that I hadn’t noticed.
“Report?”
“This subject is not slave material madam. His fitness has improved and his obedience is reasonable, but I certainly would not be proud to have him leashed to me in public.”
“Oh my dear–no one is offering him to you…”
Naomi gave Samantha a pitying smile. Samantha went red.
“Well–keep up the good work and enjoy your stay.”
Naomi smiled warmly at me, then rose and walked out, running her hands through my hair in a possessive way on her way out.
“Ten–march!”
I rose to attention and then followed Samantha out. She was in a very bad mood, and soon I was too. She cuffed me to a cross and proceeded to smack my bare bottom with a paddle for what seemed like an eternity. (Although I noticed afterward that she had managed to do so in a way that left no marks. I suspect that she didn’t want to leave any evidence of this extracurricular discipline for Naomi to see.)
At the end of the week I left, not having seen Naomi again. Samantha had regained her temper and almost smiled at me as she handed me the key to the cage.
“I make it a point to never unlock a man myself: I think it sets a bad precedent.” And she left after giving an unmistakable wink.
Part 7: Forever.
I didn’t hear from Naomi for several weeks after my hotel visit. I was on the cusp of contacting her half a dozen times, but something always stopped me.
“Dinner tomorrow night?”
Paris again, three weeks later. Her message arrived first thing in the morning.
“Sure–do you want to choose or should I?”
“I will–there’ll be a car waiting for you at 6.”
When I returned to my hotel at four to dress, there was a garment bag waiting for me at the desk. Opening it in my room, I found a grey wool suit, perfectly cut for me. The only odd feature of it was that there were no pockets. Going down, I had to slip my room key card in the breast pocket along with a credit card.
The ride in the car was short and delivered me to a restaurant that I wouldn’t have even noticed if the driver hadn’t directed me to it. I was early, but Naomi was already at a table waiting.
“I think I like you better dressed the way I saw you last time.” She smiled mischievously.
I blushed.
We chatted of this and that over dinner. She didn’t bring up our last meeting again, and I certainly wasn’t going to.
When dinner ended, she reached under her chair and brought out a small box.
“A little something for you–if you will have it.”
For the first time since I had known her, I heard the faintest note of tension in her voice.
I opened in the box. Inside was another chastity cage. It had a huge diamond on the lock, and Naomi’s name engraved in gold. My name was linked to it in silver with a little line of engraved chains.
“Will you accept this–and accept being my boy by wearing it?”
And I said yes. I said it without thinking, without meeting her eyes, without letting go of the box.
When I looked up, I saw her smile a warm, genuine smile.
“Great!! Come on!”
She led me to a small room next to the kitchen–I don’t know how she knew about it. And right there, she locked the cage on me, kissing my forehead as she did it.
“Shall we go?”
“I’m sorry?”
“It’s our first real night together–let’s spend it somewhere special.”
“Oh–I’d love too–but I need to get my things from my hotel.”
“Umm–well, I actually already had them packed up for you–our car is outside.”
I decided to just let her take control. Moments later, I was in the back of a Range Rover with darkened windows speeding out of Paris. She left a possessive hand on my leg for the whole of the drive.
After an hour or so, we arrived at a beautiful house out in the country. To my surprise, the driver lift the bags into the hall and then drove off.
We ignored them and walked into the darkened sitting room. And thirty seconds later, I was kneeling next to her, wearing nothing but the cage.
“Are you ok?”
I nodded.
“Are you ready for the last secret?”
I looked at her–completely confused.
“Haven’t you figured it out? I thought that’s why you agreed to come…”
My expression must have shown her she was wrong.
“Haven’t you wondered–about all these places you’ve visited? About me? About why Samantha is afraid of me? About those cells in the darkness? About who pays for all of this?”
“Well–I mean, yes, I wondered. But I just gave up after a while.”
She smiled at me–a full, tooth-baring smile. And then, at last, I saw clearly, the two long, sharp, canine teeth projecting down, their tips glistening in the dim light.
In a flash, I remembered Samantha’s neck, and the two almost invisible puncture marks my subconscious had noticed even as my conscious mind rejected the idea.
I tensed–wondering if I should run away, even naked and caged.
“Wait–please let me explain first.”
She was breathing hard now.
“It doesn’t hurt–it actually feels rather nice. And it won’t kill you–far from it.”
I waited, kneeling still.
“Ok. We vampires have lived among you all for centuries, of course. How old do you think I am? No–I will 176 next year. With all of that time, we have accumulated: well, everything. Money, property–and people. People like Samantha, who are attracted to our money–our power. Honestly–I thought you were another like her. And I was willing to accept that, just to have you.”
“so–so Samantha isn’t a vampire?”
“No–or at least not a full one, yet. She wants to be. But to fully become someone like me, she needs to become truly dominant, not just aggressive and sadistic.”
“But–you bite her?”
“Of course–she lets me feed on her, knowing it is a step towards becoming a full vampire.”
“And..and what happens to you if you don’t, don’t feed on someone?”
“I age. Vampires age more slowly that humans, but we do age. But for every day I feed, I gain one more day of youth.”
“And that’s want you want from me–some one to feed off of?”
“That–and much more. But you still don’t understand fully. Samantha looks 28–but she is 65.”
I blinked.
“It works both ways–every day I drink from you, you gain that same day of youth.”
I stared at her, steadying myself with a deep, shuddering breath. Looking her in the eye, I slowly and deliberately barred the left side of my neck to her open mouth.
There was a brief, sharp pain, and then there was a strange, almost floral smell. I felt my body almost going limp–but my cock pressed hard against its cage.
After a moment it was over.
“Will you? Will you go down the years together with me? Together like this–you kneeling forever at my side?”
I looked down–I saw my naked body, my locked cock. And I looked up at her and slowly nodded.
We all make relationship agreements, even if we don’t realize it. Creating one Femdom relationship agreement is no different. These agreements often take the form of unspoken understandings or explicit commitments we express verbally. While it might seem a little silly to consider, these agreements play a significant role in shaping our Femdom interactions and expectations in both casual and serious relationships.
The Role of Verbal Agreements
In many exclusive relationships or when couples decide to move in together, agreements about behaviors, responsibilities, and boundaries usually arise. These can range from household chores to emotional support practices. Regardless of their formality, these agreements are crucial for establishing harmony and clarity. After all, the vows couples take during marriage are, in essence, solemn agreements aimed at nurturing a lifelong partnership.
Protecting Yourself with Prenuptial Agreements
Recently, we’ve seen an increasing number of individuals, especially men, opting for prenuptial agreements as a way to protect their interests. While some may view this as pessimistic, it’s merely another form of a relationship agreement, providing a safety net for both partners. However, it’s essential to understand that agreements, whether verbal or formal, are only as strong as the commitment of those involved. The effectiveness of an agreement hinges on the ability of both parties to uphold their end of the deal and enforce any necessary repercussions for non-compliance.
Ultimately, acknowledging the existence of these relationship agreements can lead to healthier, more transparent partnerships. It’s about understanding, respecting, and enforcing the agreements we make with each other, ensuring mutual support and growth.
Emotions and the Complexity of Love
Formalizing a relationship might feel like taking the fun out of love. After all, when we develop chemistry with someone, the last thing we want is to get bogged down in rules and regulations. Matters of the heart are inherently emotional, making them hard to govern. Instead, people often rely on the hope that their partner will naturally act in consideration of their shared happiness. This belief can ultimately lead to disappointment, illustrating the challenges that arise when unspoken expectations collide with reality.
Beliefs and Expectations in Relationships
Many individuals in relationships express sentiments like, “If he loves me, he will naturally do what I want.” This comment reflects a common belief that love should seamlessly guide actions. However, when instincts fail to align with expectations, disillusionment often follows. While faith-based relationships may come with predefined rules, the emotional, organic nature of love often overshadows the desire for agreements in secular partnerships.
In conclusion, the hesitance to establish formal relationship agreements often stems from a mix of emotional complexity, individual beliefs, and innate expectations. By understanding these factors, we can begin to foster better communication and ultimately create partnerships that address the needs of both individuals, without the pressure of formal constraints.
Understanding the Importance of Balance
When it comes to relationships, establishing a solid agreement is essential. A well-structured agreement ensures that both partners feel heard and valued. Making an agreement that works for both is crucial because it helps to avoid misunderstandings and promote growth. When entering into discussions about your relationship, it’s imperative to put everything on the table—what each party wants and how they envision their future together.
Initiating the Conversation
The journey of forming a tangible agreement begins with open communication. Start by discussing your individual desires and life directions. Assuming you have already gone over strategies clearly, you can transition to creating a framework for your agreement. This means outlining broader themes or values that resonate with both of you and then detailing actionable steps toward those ideals.
Assigning Responsibilities and Ensuring Accountability
Once you have decided on the main elements of your agreement, take the time to clarify who is responsible for what. This clarity helps to make progress tangible and measurable. It’s also important to establish a method for tracking progress, discussing changes, and addressing any failures. All relationship agreements need to include a way to handle non-performance, as it is vital for maintaining trust and fostering growth within the partnership. By ensuring that both parties equally contribute to and uphold the agreement, you pave the way for a balanced and harmonious relationship.
The Preamble to your Femdom Relationship Agreements
Title: Relationship Agreement. This agreement is about how we want to proceed as a couple. We ______________ and ________________ (your names) enter into this agreement on ________________________ (date) together. We want this agreement to be the guiding principles for our relationship and reflect our design for the ideal relationship we are working for. This agreement is for a period of __________ (1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 5 years).
State your ideals
If you have not yet done so take the time to create a list of what make a relationship ideal for each of you and together decide what you would like to include in your agreement. These should be broad ideas. Be sure not to get overly specific.
We state that our ideal relationship includes ____________________________ and does not include _________________________.
Affirm your faith, hope and/or guiding principles including your relationship strategy.
Faith, hope and guiding principles acts as the moral compass you are using to direct your lives. It might be something directly aimed at your relationship or broader. [Examples: We believe we are better as a couple than we are apart. We believe we are on the earth to make it a better place to live. We believe our mission in life is to promote opportunities for women to lead. We believe we are setting a new social norm.]
We affirm our ______________ (faith or guiding principles) in that we believe _____________________________________
Make an agreement in your arrangement to review this agreement from time to time
This will bring you both closer together. All agreements need a way to be reexamined / adjusted and a way to reaffirm that you still believe in them. There is no better way than having a way to affirm, review and make changes.
We agree to meet as a couple each ______________ (month, quarter, year) to read and make adjustments to this agreement. We further agree that at points of stress _____ (she, he any) may call for a meeting to read and make adjustments. Further, after making changes we agree to verbally affirm our agreement.
Declare that you whole hearted believe in what you are undertaking in your Femdom Relationship Agreement
We declare and affirm our belief that a female led relationship is right for us. As such we have agreed that the role of the woman in our relationship is ______________ (leader, head, superior*) and the role of the man is __________________ (supportive, follower, servant, inferior**)
*Don’t be afraid of the word “superior” Tt does not affirm that women are superior just that there is a hierarchy of decision-making. **Inferior does not describe a person or gender here but a hierarchal relationship.
Grant and limit responsibility and the authority as you want it
You will need to choose how to divide who does what and when and other areas of life she or he will control or share; and how you intend to protect the non-leader by limiting the decision making power of the leader. Votes and vetoes can be listed her as well.
We agree that she will lead/control/manage __________________________________________ (list the activity and action) and he will lead/control/manage _______________________________ They both will share management of ____________________________ (list all). She is limited by/to ______________________________________ (or just insert the words “no limits imposed” if there are none). He is limited by/to ______________________________________. They are limited by/to ___________________________________ or otherwise agree to make decisions equally by vote.. If you have vetoes list them here.
Decide how you are both going to handle conflict and change
We agree that, should conflict arise, we will first attempt to work it out by conversing together. If needed, we will create a formal document where the conflict is registered and the remediation is written. Should that fail, we are committed to enter into mediation with a mutually agreeable third party ). Both of us commit to learning from our conflict by making changes to this agreement and our communication in an attempt for less conflict in the future.
Decide what how you are going to handle non performance
Remediation (fix) is a solution to the problem most often characterized by a penalty. You will need to spend some time thinking about roles here. Think about corrective action, punishment, and how to terminate this agreement.
In the event of non performance, we agree to remediation. Remediation include the reading of this agreement where the non performance has occurred, the agreement by both parties that non performance has occurred, and the submission of either or both parties to the consequence of non performance. Further this document may be reviewed and amended upon non performance after the consequence/remediation administered, if called for by the non offending party to call out the non-performance in more detail. Failure to accept complete remediation will make this agreement null and void.
Non performance remediation for the man is ________________________________________ and may also include ______________________________________ (add an attachment if needed). The remedy will be administered no less than ___________________ (1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week set a time frame) after non-performance has been called and documented. Further, if the non-performance offense is of sufficient weight for the woman to lose confidence in her leadership, she may call for ________________________________________________
Non-performance remediation for the woman is ________________________________________ and may also include ______________________________________. The remedy will be administered no less than ___________________ (1 minute, 1 hour, 1 day, 1 week) after non performance has been called and documented. Further, if the non performance offense gives sufficient to cause for the man to lose confidence in her leadership she/he may call for ________________________________________________
Decide what and how, you are going maintain and grow your relationship
We agree we want to keep our relationship vital by ________________________________________________________________________________ together
Decide what kind of formal rules, rituals and traditions you want to include and exclude
If you are going to have ceremony and/or formal rules, list them here so if they are broken you can recognize non-performance, show documentation, and seek remediation. Think this over as a starting point to solving your ideal relationship deltas. Some examples ceremonies: Exchanging/giving vows based on this agreement; A ceremony formally celebrating his acknowledgement of her leadership; A surrender ceremony celebrating his release of control; A commencement ceremony to begin FLR. Some rules examples: He will remain humble and teachable; He will cease looking at any kind of porn; He will obey her at all times. Some examples of traditions: As a sign of respect for her leadership, he will defer to her in public situations. As a sign of their FLR, he will always refer to their relationship as Mrs. and Mr. As a sign of his respect for her leadership, he will openly acknowledge her leadership. As a sign of obedience, he will kneel before her on command. Remember, he has a fantasy and you may, too. This is where you can play up to that if you are willing.
We agree to celebrate these ceremonies as cherished _______________________________________________________ (see attachment for ceremony details). We agree to the following formal rules ____________________________________________________________ (see attachment for ceremony details). We agree to the following traditions _______________________________________ (see attachment for details)
Keeping a fresh and renewed relationship
This can include measurable time together/apart, pursuit of hobbies and interests, including/not including friendships and family, workshop, seminars, vacations, showing appreciation, anniversaries, dating and focus time as examples.
We agree we want to keep our relationship vital by ________________________________________________________________________________ together
Don’t forget to keep things SSC
We agree to the following in the event that he cannot perform:
A safe word.
2 A safe gesture. One each for pause and stop.
His safe word for pause is _______________________, His safe gesture for pause is ______________________. His safe word for stop is ___________________. His safe gesture for stop is ________________________. She maintains the right to proceed if the pause safety is reported when she feels she needs to push boundaries. Any time the stop safety is reported, she will stop, investigate injury, and seek immediate medical attention at his request. If stop is used, and no injury reported this agreement is null and void.
Recognition Symbols for Perverts A little trick to share your Femdom interests
There have frequently been calls on ASB for a covert recognition symbol for perverts. The leather pride flag is an overt one, but it can require some delicate explaining if one is not “out” about kinky interests. Here’s one that is pretty covert, but noticeable. Originally posted to ASB 7 Jan 1997; somewhat revised here. On ASB, Iain wrote:
Some of my friends in America carry keyrings with a bundle of leather thongs tied through them, making a recognisable mini- flogger that is quite deniable, as it is also a very practical keyring.
To make one of these:
You will need:
four 18“ (46 cm) pieces of leather lacing, about 1/8” (3mm) square.
one other piece of lacing about 12-14“ long.
Regular boot leather laces are okay; mine came from Tandy leather.
a key ring.
Mine is a 1-1/2” (3.7 cm) dia. split key ring. You could construct this on a smaller ring, to attach to another key ring, but I wouldn’t used a ring smaller than about 3/4“ (2 cm) diameter.
Construction:
Line up the four 18” laces parallel to each other, and insert one end of the bunch through the ring. Put the ring at the laces’ centerpoint, and bend the laces over so that they hang down in equal lengths from the ring. These will be the 8 tails of the mini-flogger.
{For ex-Boy Scouts, the next step is equivalent to the knot used in whipping the end of a rope, where the bunch of tails are the “rope”}
Fold the 5th lace back on itself, 2-1/2“ from one end. I’ll call the longer end (12” or so) end “A” in the following description, and the shorter end (2-1/2“) end “B”. Lay the bent end of the 5th lace in the groove between the 4 sets of tails, parallel to the tail laces at the ring, with the bent end about 2” away from the ring, pointing toward the ends of the 8 tails, and ends A and B pointed toward the ring. End B lies over the ring but is not passed through it. End A is slipped through the ring, then, from the other side of the ring, pulled down parallel to the 8 tails. Now pass it between the 2 sets of 4 tails ring at the ring, so that it is parallel to the ring and emerges from the 8 tails at right angles to them.
Start wrapping end A around the tails (and its own bent end) tightly. (This will end up being the “handle” of the mini- flogger). Be sure to lay it down untwisted, to make a good-looking surface to the wrapping. After 6 or 7 wrappings, slip end A through the original bent end of this lace, that should be sticking out from under the wrapping. With a pair of pliers, pull end B (up by the ring), so that end A is pulled back underneath the wrappings, about halfway. Cut both end A and B short, where they emerge from the wrappings. That’s it.
If you carry your keys in a pants pocket, the tails hang out of the pocket so that you can pull on them to get the keys. Eden says that if you carry a purse, you won’t lose these keys… or if they head to the bottom of your purse, you can find ’em in the dark by feel.
Because of the potential value of this to we perves, I place this one writing, concerning keyrings as recognition symbols, in the public domain. Please distribute as you wish, but do not remove my name and eddress from it. Thanks, -^- .
spectrum@magenta.com Copyright 1998-2003 by the author know as -^-^spectrum-^^-. No reproduction for commercial or profit-making use is allowed. If you want to use this for educational ends, please ask me for permission, so that I know where it has wandered to. This notice must be included in any reproduction. NO PUBLICATION OF THE CONTENTS OF ANY WEBPAGE ON THIS SITE IS ALLOWED ON AN YAHOOGROUPS MAILING LIST, OR ANY OTHER POSTING SOURCE THAT “ACQUIRES” COPYRIGHT BY THE FACT OF POSTING. THIS EXPLICITLY INCLUDES SBC-YAHOO AND YAHOOGROUPS. EVEN LINKING TO THE PAGES FROM THE LATTER WILL BE REGARDED AS A COPYRIGHT VIOLATION. Removal of the last two paragraphs of copyright notice, or this paragraph, is prima facie evidence of deliberate copyright violation by both the poster and the ISP/posting host.
Break-ups are always hard, but when your Femdom relationship comes to an end, and turns bad it can be even harder going. The Mistress and slave dynamic comes with such a level of trust that when one side violates that, either by deception, cheating or by deciding they no longer want the relationship, it can leave the other person reeling. Often times the reaction to that initial pain will only make things worse.
Right after the break-up there may be a desire to continue the D/s relationship. It is possible to have a good Mistress/slave relationship without having a romantic association but once the romantic element has been introduced into things it is hard to divide. It isn’t like oil and water that will eventually settle apart. It’s more like a cake, where you can’t just pull out the individual ingredients. The constant reminder of what ‘used to be’ makes it impossible to heal. Even worse, the positive feelings you used to have for each other will be replaced by anger, bitterness and resentment. I have seen a few of these relationships succeed after both parties have been on their own long enough to erase any romantic feelings towards the other person. If you have any hope of rekindling the romance through the BDSM relationship it will only end in heartache. And that is a pain that has no pleasure.
If you were the Domme in the relationship you may feel unusually powerless as you question if you did something wrong that led to this. These feelings are typical at the end of any relationship but since a Mistress is expected to know and understand her slave’s needs as well as her own there is that extra level of doubt. Slaves on the receiving end of a break up might wonder if they somehow did something wrong to cause this to happen. Having given complete control of their body and soul over to this person makes the rejection even sharper. There is no quick fix or magic potion for these emotions. Only time and patience will help you accept what happened. Keep in mind that sometimes you can do everything right and things still don’t work out. In most relationships there is no bad guy to take the blame.
One of the biggest mistakes people make is jumping right into a new BDSM relationship after one ends. While this may temporarily take your mind off of the feelings associated with the previous relationship they will end up coming back feeling even worse then before. It isn’t fair to begin a Dominant/slave relationship if you are not fully focused on the other party. If you are coming in with baggage you will not be able to really meet the needs of the other person, you will just be using them to try and stop your own pain.
Finally, no matter how angry you get at the other person you can not violate the privacy of your relationship. BDSM is still not fully accepted in society and by “outing” your ex as a part of the lifestyle you will lose all credibility for any future relationships. Not to mention that they probably have information about you that you would rather not have out there. If you are unable to talk calmly to your ex then bring in a neutral third party to help mediate the division of your BDSM property, including any pictures, toys, and gear. In general it is best to just destroy the videos and pictures to prevent them from leaking out in the future. How you divide the other things is up to you two, but in my experience it can be best to get rid of all of it can start fresh. You don’t want a bad memory to come back at an inopportune time in the future.
When a relationship ends it is always hard but the specific issues involved in Femdom relationships mean that you may not have anyone to talk to about it. If you are not a part of a larger BDSM community this may be a good time to join one. They are not only good for meeting new people but for discussing your feelings with others who have been there.
If you give oral sex, make sure you don’t have sores, wounds, gum disease, ulcers, cuts, herpes or infections in your mouth. It’s important to make sure your mouth and gums are in good condition before you give oral sex.
Ways to make oral sex safer include: Use condoms (external or internal) – check their expiry date and use only water-based lubricants to avoid tears and breakage. Wear dental dams – a small thin sheet of latex that acts as a barrier between the mouth and vagina or anus. Avoid getting semen or vaginal fluid in your eyes.
ok lecture on safety over, now for the good stuff!
The golden rule of manners as it pertains to dining downtown is this: consider it the equivalent of a free meal at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. It’s a sheer delight simply to be there! So act like it.
Don’t contradict directions with comments such as, “But my ex used to love it when I did that,” or “But I have been practicing that move all week!” or the unforgivably tactless, “Well! If this isn’t the worst I’ve ever tasted!”
Don’t expect your partner to know exactly how you like it. Offer hints, always phrased in positives. Recommended nudges include “Right there oh my God yes” and “Please, My Lady may I have some more?”
Never push someone down by the shoulders, use their ears as a steering wheel, or accelerate the pace by pushing on their head as if it were a toilet plunger. These are NOT “hints.”
Understand that a chef must eat, too. While Femdom may over ride sometimes. Pleasure should be balanced in actions. No one can keep on giving of themselves without some kind of return. Please keep this in mind for a happy long lasting relationship. Oral pleasure is a reciprocal activity: you cannot expect to receive head any more often than you proffer it. You may request oral pleasure without reciprocity on the following occasions: it’s your birthday (no half-birthdays); you’ve been laid off; your favorite team lost (major championship games only, no mid-season games); your pet just died (in the case of goldfish passing on, it’s the giver’s call); you styled your short.
Vibrators, Dildos, and Other Miscellany for Misbehaving
Rule One: Don’t knock sex toys until you’ve seen what they can do.
Rule Two: Always, always, always wash your sex toys.
VIBRATORS
let us start with the introductory vibrator, the kind you can any sex shops; it’s about four inches long and requires an AA battery Many women like to travel with these because they are discreet—and powerful. Sometimes they come with a penis-replica plastic sleeve, which makes it more of a dildo (which is a penis replica made of plastic or sometimes glass, while a vibrator contains batteries and, well, vibrates). Do not be afraid of this item. This is going to be a good friend of yours.
If your not sure on what vibe you need, why not check out our the beginner’s guide to vibrators
Never make a woman choose between her vibrating dildo and you. You may not like the choose she makes MissBitch
This device can be used to rocket oral sex into the next stratosphere. Gently insert it into the vaginal canal while you are licking and sucking the clitoris. As you establish a rhythm, feel free to begin rhythmically penetrating your woman with the vibrator. If you have the vibrator turned on, don’t pump up the volume just yet. Instead, use long and deep, penetrating strokes interspersed with short, rapid strokes, depending on your mutual mood.
Some women like having the vibrator inserted as far as it will go, motionless but turned on, during oral sex so that they are receiving dual stimulation but are not over stimulated. These climaxes can be overwhelming anyway and are deeply rewarding—she may tightly grab you at the moment of climax and urge you to press the vibrator even more deeply into her. Do not be afraid of the climax-clutch. It is simply an expression of your woman’s lasting excitement. When her climax is finished, she will probably push your face away and at this time you should gently, slowly remove the vibrator as well.
A related method involves inserting a very small vibrator in the anus. For the anally erotic gal, this is a real treat. A small vibrator can be slipped in during cunnilingus to excite and gratify. However, if you do not know the woman very well, or don’t know her feelings about anal penetration, make sure she okays the move first. You should never insert something into the anus as a “surprise” move. In order to insert anything into the anus, you need the conscious (but not overly, as in self-conscious) participation of your partner. You don’t have to stop licking and caressing her—just cover it in a water-based lubricant like K-Y jelly and make sure she knows that its coming by gently circling the anus and tapping against it before you slip the vibrator in. When you use the vibrator in the anus and your tongue and mouth on the clitoris, your woman will probably loose her cookies early on. But this is a fun alternative to the standard fare, and comes highly recommended. If you and your partner are ready for another variation, try using a second vibrator. One vibrator is gently inserted into the anus in the manner described above, while the other (usually larger) vibrator is inserted into the vagina. A pulsing sensation will occur all over the woman’s body when both vibrators are turned on and suddenly come into sync with each other. When the two vibrators, whose motors are not rotating at exactly the same speed, periodically drop into perfect phase with each other, the presence of you sucking and licking her clitoris becomes intensely pleasurable. This isn’t for everyday sex, but it is a wonderful way to spice things up and give her the kind of mind-blowing pleasure we all crave every once in awhile.
DILDOS
The only thing as remarkable as the long history of the dildo (quite possibly the oldest sex toy on earth) is the variety of shapes, sizes, textures, and colors this handy sex asset has assumed. Some of them are tapered enough to make them great for anal play, while others are curved for G-spot stimulation. But they can all add to your oral sex repertoire by keeping one sensitive area engaged while you’re busy with another. For G-spot stimulation, make sure you get something with a well-defined bulbous head, in addition to the traditional curved shape. Available in glass, metal, acrylic, silicone, jelly, cyberskin and a nearly limitless variety of other materials, dildos can range in style from the incredibly detailed and realistic to the fantastically abstract and unearthly—it’s all up to you and your woman. The important thing to remember is that, even if you might see fabric or leather or horsehair dildos available, the only truly safe ones are those that can be washed and disinfected like glass (with no chips), acrylic, metal-plated, and silicone. A particular and lovely trait of the glass dildo is that it can be placed under hot or cold running water for just a few minutes to contribute a new range of sensations to your partner. A great sidekick for a warm, lively little tongue.
Products in silicone, however, rightly deserve their reputation as goddess’s gift to sex toys. Silicone is smooth, non-sticky, and simultaneously resilient and soft. It absorbs body heat rapidly, so just rubbing it between your hands can make it something of a treat to gently insert into the orifice of your choice. Start playing with this stuff and you’ll both be late to work for a week. If you want to save some money, the products being made out of jelly aren’t bad. Some people even prefer jelly to silicone.
Although I can’t say I agree with the jelly one. The jelly starts to become opaque over time and also gets sticky just sitting around and eventually looks like an old lollipop collecting fibres, and with the new health warnings on jelly products, I personally don’t like to take chances MissBonnie
Like all sex toys, dildos should be washed after every use, but the jelly products in particular pick up bits of dust and hair floating around everyday, so you should give them a nice washing both before and after. The final note on jelly toys is that they will always smell like plastic—like when a “made in China” product is first taken out of its airtight wrapping. This smell never completely leaves the jelly sex toy. Though it lessens somewhat. So, if your nostrils don’t flare with pleasure at the idea, stick to silicone.
ANAL PROBES
And you thought you had to be abducted by aliens first! MissBitch
Anal probing feels much more pleasurable than it sounds (though, as with all acquired tastes, it starts to sound as good as it feels) and lots of time and energy have been spent creating products that maximize this pleasure.
A metal or acrylic dildo is fine for vaginal play, but something softer and more forgiving is required for the anus.
When selecting a probe, make sure you get something soft enough, and with a graduated shaft that will allow you to insert to the desired width. Also, make sure you get something with a nicely sized handle. You don’t want to lose your grip—and neither does your partner.
As indicated by its name, the probe is longer than other toys created for anal insertion and is a great way to find out exactly where your woman wants anal stimulation.
Be aware the probes require constant attention as they tend to shift more than plugs MissBonnie
ANAL PLUGS
Anal plugs are endlessly fun—so endless, in fact, that some people start wearing them all the time. (That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m one of them.)Missbitch
They come with a gorgeous array of decorations, using gemstones and different designs to give the butt a fashionable, naughty, or bejeweled look when inserted.
The most important thing to remember when selecting an anal plug—as with all anal toys—is the size.
A true beginner should start with something under seven ounces, no longer than two inches, and no wider than 11/4 inch at its widest point. If this is your first time, go for something nicely tapered for an easier entry, with a well-flared base so that it won’t slide too far in.MissBitch
If you plan to start wearing one all the time, just make sure yours has a very long, narrow (one inch or less) neck to keep it from falling out.
That might be rather difficult to explain at a morning meeting.MissBonnie
ANAL BEADS
I’ll wear my pearls Thank you MissBitch
Ever wonder how strands of beads became so popular?
Sadly, it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re such awesome sex toys.
This toy is a great introduction to anal play, and usually consists of beads graduated in size from a few eighths of an inch in diameter on up. We have wonderful article for use with male subs if you interested (Selecting a strand that ranges from three-eighths to one inch will provide a little something for everyone.) Also, make sure that the beads are made of a smooth material.
Metal beads are to be avoided, as is any material harder than your finger.
Insert the beads gently, one bead at a time, into your (forewarned) partner until you reach the bead that almost won’t go in. At the moment of orgasm (or whenever you feel the time is right), pull the beads out in one long, continuous motion by the ring or handle. Some people go wild over the insertion, but most find that the boon of the beads lies in their sudden extrication (which can heighten orgasms considerably).
A variant of the anal beads is an apparatus with a series of round, consecutively smaller spheres. This can be used similarly to an anal plug, but has some of the advantages of the beads. Also, as the beads commonly use nylon thread, this toy has the added benefit of being completely washable.
The most important ingredients when using sex toys, especially with anal toys, are lube and relaxation. MissBonnie
If you choose toys that are smooth in texture, and don’t fall for the “my eyes were bigger than my . . .” syndrome that hits all of us every once in a while, these toys will add hours—and perhaps a lifetime—of new pleasure to your repertoire. if your new to anal pleasures you might like to read our anal beginners articles. How to keep your toys clean consider using them with a condom, and use only water-based lube on or around them.
it would be a cause for celebration if we were born with the l and intuitive set of sexual skills that we all pretend we have. Without stating it outright, our culture—via our parents, the media, and our peers—implies that sex and sexual skills should come naturally, with all but the most advanced techniques being somehow instinctive.
You’d never expect someone to hit a perfect tennis serve without lessons and practice or to play a beautiful sonata on an instrument they’ve only touched a couple of times, yet somehow, most of us come to maturity with the expectation that sexual skills will magically develop in the presence of our naked lover, that this lover will likewise experience a spontaneous onset of spectacular proficiency, and that it will all unfurl as smoothly as a movie montage.
Where do real-life Don Juans get their savoir faire?
There’s only one way: practice, practice, practice. Some people try to pick up tips from their friends, but while you may have a friend or two with information to spare, you’re probably dealing with what literary critics calls an “unreliable narrator.”
I personally stopped trusting the sexual knowledge of my peers when they asked me if my cherry had been popped, but could not specify what this “cherry” was, nor exactly where it was located. LOL MissBonnie
**Real sex is awkward.** The fact is, if you expect great sex to come naturally, you’re in big trouble, and your partner is in even bigger trouble. Giving great oral sex is dependent upon being truly comfortable with the act, “in good times and in bad.” Real sex with live people is tricky—it smells, it squeaks, it gets stuck on some things and rams too quickly into others. People get injured physically (especially in the shower) and emotionally (especially in affairs), and on the whole, doing it probably causes about as many problems as pleasures. This doesn’t mean that you should stop, in fact most of us should be having more sex and oral sex rather than less. But it does indicate that we have a lot of false expectations surrounding sex, and these expectations take a lot of the fun out of sex without our even knowing it.
ACCEPTING THESE REALITIES WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER LOVER
Sexual Skill Doesn’t Come Naturally Sure, the impulse to have sex is “natural,” and the heat of passion is sure to lend a little on-the-spot inspiration, but sexual skill must be learned and practiced like anything else.
If girls are made of sugar and spice, why do they taste like tuna fish?
Genitals have a naturally pungent odor and taste. Some people love it, others don’t. But you’re in denial if you’re surprised by it. If this is a concern for you, just take a bath or shower with your partner, instead of trying to skirt oral sex, or pretending to be comfortable going down when you’re not. If you forge ahead anyway, your partner will sense your repressed discomfort, and the effort to conceal your true feelings will take the zest out of your performance. Barring a bath, be aware that a vagina will taste and smell very differently after it is stimulated enough to create the body’s natural lubricants, which have an additively delicious flavor. A little foreplay and hand action can change the menu entirely.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orgasm
What’s the matter? Labia got yer tongue?
Whether it’s that funny slurping noise, a penis that veers to the right like it’s catching a curve ball, or a pubic hair in your eye, unexpected things are bound to happen during sex and oral. Who can say what they will be? One woman I know started laughing while her guy was coming in her mouth, and it ended up dribbling out of her nose. Things like this are a natural part of an active sex life, so you might as well expect them and make sure to bring your sense of humor with you to the bedroom. Taking sex too seriously is a sure passion-killer.
Genitals Look Funny
Believe it or not, the overall quality of oral sex is still being compromised by people’s shame and fear of genitalia. The people giving oral sex are afraid to stare too much, because they don’t want to make their partner feel uncomfortable, while their partner can barely even relax and enjoy themselves because they’re so freaked out by someone sniffing around down there. Shocking as it is, this is occurring in the twenty-first century, and it’s compromising the quality of oral sex. To overcome any vestiges of genital-fear, take a moment with your partner to really look at her genitals as suggested in eating pussy 101.
Tell her why you want to do it, and make sure that she feels comfortable with it first. Then look—really look—at all the different parts, and acknowledge that these are what you have to work with. This exercise is worth it: an anatomically complete understanding of your partner’s genitals will assure your subconscious that there is nothing “bad” or “dirty” or “scary” lurking in there anywhere.
“”That was great. Really, it was . . .”
Most likely, no one’s told you the truth about your sexual and cunnilingus skills. The fact is, women fake orgasms pretty regularly, and it’s a rare lover who openly communicates what they do or don’t like, because they’re trying to be nice. But withholding feedback is extremely counterproductive with regards to sex and Femdom practices. The way people communicate about sex isn’t even worthy of the term “miscommunication,” because not only does withholding feedback send the wrong information (that you like something you don’t or dislike something you do like), it actively obstructs future communication about sex, and blocks the Femdom path to fulfillment. We’re lucky consultants can’t be called into the bedroom, because most people would be fired. The result? Very few men and women have been given enough feedback to develop a repertoire that works. And it’s a damned shame. Since they haven’t built up the strength and precision of their lips and tongue through a history of feedback and EXERCISES TO INCREASE HER ORAL PLEASURE refinement,
they develop a repertoire based on second-rate skills that every sexual partner is subjected to. As a loving pet-owner thinks their cat or dog is absolutely unique, everyone—and I mean everyone—thinks they have great sexual skills. Meanwhile, most people report more than a few instances of less-than-satisfying sex every year.
You do the math.
You don’t have to pass out a Comments and Suggestions card afterward, but you do need to elicit your partner’s feedback. A whispered “Do you like that?” during oral sex will produce more honest feedback than a “Was that good for you?” after she’s already decided that she just wants to be friends.
It’s Not Just About the Orgasm
You don’t have to make your partner come to have great oral sex. Great oral lovers are not orgasm-making machines, and if you treat oral sex this way you’re not going to enjoy it—and neither will your partner. Aside from straining yourself, your orgasm fixation will actually distract you from any subtle signs or signals given by your lover. You don’t have to frantically chase orgasms through the thickets of your lover’s genitals. The orgasm will come to you. Straining and stressing about how long it’s taking your partner to come wards off a real orgasm like a snake scares a mare, so it’s better to just let go of this expectation and enjoy yourself. Experiment and play~ “the light touch,” as it’s sometimes called—will inevitably create more pleasure for your partner than strain or stress. People who perform poorly at oral sex are usually hung up on one or all of these basic issues.
Resource Article: tomcat (Edited: in conjunction with MissBonnie and MissBitch )for the beginners guide to oral sex (c) CollarNuffs.com
Though we’ll go into more advanced positions for oral sex later, one of the most comfortable may be for your woman to lie across the bed, her legs hanging to the floor. Kneel on the floor (maybe with a towel or pillow under your knees to maximize comfort) and bring her hips to where you have good access to the full vagina. In this way, you can provide her with a wide range of sensation, and your flexibility of movement will keep you comfortable and creative without the tension on your back and neck muscles that would result from attempting the same feats flat on the bed. Once you’ve developed your oral skills so that you are not easily thrown off by the positioning of your body, it is time to experiment with other position
Flapping Legs
This position is essentially the basic comfortable position recommended in the first part of this section, only the person giving oral sex is further up on the bed. This creates a little more strain in the back and neck muscles, but it’s worth the trouble because the angling of the woman’s legs will create better access to the clitoris and deeper penetration possibilities. The woman’s legs are bent, with her feet resting on her lover’s shoulders. Her pelvis is curved much more upward than in the first position, and one leg may even be resting down her partner’s back. To create more access as needed, you can edge your shoulders upward and press her thighs back further. This is a great position for incorporating a little vibrator or anal play . As she approaches climax, she will alternately press down on your shoulders with the pads of her feet and flap them in the air. This position provides great access for upward strokes, and you can angle your arms a little under her body for support.
Captured Tortoise
For superior access (but less flapping), try Captured Tortoise. In this, the woman holds her legs to her chest, providing you with total access. This is a great position if your woman is into penetration—combining a vibrator or dildo with your oral stimulation is a godsend here. Be careful, because as she gets excited her body may twist and, because she is holding her legs to her chest, she may flip over. Stabilize her by helping her hold one leg with your arm (but not too hard).
The Pleasure Plank
Some people like the sensation of having their legs together during oral sex. This position can be a great teaser when you are initially working your way down. Holding her just above the hips with your hands and straddling her closed, extended legs, come at her clitoris from the top of her vagina. Some women have a hypersensitive clit, and this position gives them painless pleasure by buffering the vibrations from your tongue. Of course, if you’ve done the exercises in our previous articles, you should be able to give feathery strokes of infinite lightness, but otherwise this position can be a fun way to pick up some of the slack or to tease her as a prelude to something more.
The 6
Another slack picker-upper is the 6. This is essentially a 69 position with you on top, but your body is off to the side and she is just relaxing. Coming at her from above, this position is a relief for your head and neck muscles, and is great for a woman who loves a downward stroke. However, if you use the position we initially recommended, where you are on the floor and she is on the bed, and you have relaxed your neck, throat, and head muscles, you will never experience a need for this position except perhaps as a way to change things up.
The Yoga payoff
Lying on her back, let your partner use her feet and legs to hoist herself up your kneeling body. Her weight should be resting on her shoulders, not her neck. From this angle, you can get a great view during oral sex—and this is a particularly nice position if your woman has a fabulous pair of breasts. Have fun watching her experience all of the erotic sensations she’s feeling as you go to town on her clitoris. Don’t bother with oral penetration or G-spot stimulation from this position. The combination of clit-nuzzling and the breast caresses you can give are the main attraction. Make sure to give your lady plenty of support in this one.
Positions for watching porno
If your lady is turned on by visual stimuli, allow her the pleasure of multiple flicks. Some heterosexual women like all-female porn, while others like hetero and even all-male porn. Never judge a partner based on the kind of porn they like. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything about their actual sexual preferences. However, you should never watch anything that makes you uncomfortable. Remember that videos are supposed to be fun and are meant to stimulate the imagination. So hold the gavel for now.
Sofa Porno
The most comfortable porno position is probably the Sofa. Have her sit on one arm of the sofa facing the screen, spreading her knees wide and edging herself forward to the edge of the cushion. Her arms on the back of the cushion will be an important source of stability in this position. You can sit on the sofa in a doggie-style position, resting on your knees and elbows. Arching your back will add to her visuals. She may grab your head or hair with one hand and press you more deeply into her. This is a natural response to this position, and if it makes you uncomfortable, feel free to simply nudge her hand away. If she strokes your head and hair however, the presence of her hand here can be quite delightful.
Armchair Porno
This position is for the hard-core porn—loving woman or Dominant. You’ll want to bring a pillow along for your knees. Have her sit in a chair with her buttocks supported by enough pillows to angle her hips upward, and make sure she is close enough to the edge of the chair for you to get access to the key players. Sitting on the floor or on your knees (this depends on the height of the chair), you can use your tongue to stimulate her clit and your hands for simultaneous penetration. Because there is little physical contact between your bodies, you may want to heighten the tease of this position by kissing her all over her legs and thighs while the porno is beginning, and circling the prey a little until she’s positively drooling for you.
Think out side of the box
There are too many positions to include them all especially if you throw in anal play, but these basic ingredients should give you enough elements to begin mixing it up on your own.
Remember that the only bad oral sex is boring oral sex, and as long as you stay out of the shower the likelihood of bodily injury is fairly low 😉
Recently I was talking with a fellow Domme who was telling me of her newest pleasure . A submissive who whom has oral skills that have blown her away, so much so she has nicked him super mouth in the oral pleasure department.
So what transformed this mere mortal into an oral pleasure superman? Have you guessed yet? Of all things, Super mouth was trained as a speech therapist. As a few many know my middle child has speech problems and has been involved in speech therapy (with me) for a number of years. Of course! all the mouth exercises will help you gain a new mastery over your lips and tongue, why didn’t it ever dawn on me before of the possible uses when combined with a Femdom training and a twist. I returned to my speech pathologist with new interest in other uses for the topic at hand. So now I see you can’t judge a field of study by its un-erotic exterior *grin*.
based on the premise that oral sex can—and should be outrageously fantastic every time. The poor quality of much oral sex being performed today can be baffling at first, but it becomes more understandable when one considers the factors involved. There are a plethora of psychological and social reasons that the tongue tickle hasn’t been cultivated as a talent, but more often than not, a fatally simple want of skill and knowledge is to blame. This guide addresses both situations, but is mostly devoted to the latter,
When you engage in oral sex, you’re taking the most delicate, vulnerable part of your lover’s body—their genitals—and placing them between the most potentially vicious, animalistic part of yours—your teeth. The teeth are situated in the mouth to gnash, process food, and ward off harm. It’s a wonderfully human quirk that we use this part of our body to give pleasure. Ironically, this distinctively human trait has been characterized by previous generations as dirty and uncivilized, so it’s little wonder so many women new to Femdom have trouble saying just what they like in oral sex. I’ve found through research with the New Dominants I teach; Them doing things to your body is easy, allowing themselves to ask for what they want, is the hardest of all the Femdom practices. Sometimes a submissive might need a little coaching in this department. But there is no need to fret, you can teach yourself the skills of oral mastery..or should that be Mistressry? Either way it’s not going to be a mystery 😉
I don’t need to argue here about the importance of great sex to the health of a romantic relationship. We’ve all seen TV shows and movies that portray sex and passion as uber-racy, with bodies writhing in satin sheets under perfectly dimmed lighting, as if little elves had benevolently prepped the room for a one-two-three orgasm. But if sex and romance are overvalued, oral sex is all too frequently undervalued in the media and culture at large. Still occasionally stigmatized as “dirtier” than straight-up sex, the power of oral sex for sustaining and deepening a romantic relationship often gets overlooked. Sharing pleasure, as in intercourse, and giving pleasure have very different effects on a relationship, simply because they have very different effects on your partner. Being able to give pleasure to your partner, unselfishly and lovingly, can be very important and plays a different role in your interpersonal dynamic. Oral sex is special in that it makes the other person feel cared for, tended to, and looked after. If actions speak louder than words, oral sex is like speaking through a megaphone when you tell your partner that you like and enjoy them.
Yet somehow, despite all this being so, most people don’t perform oral sex as well as they could. In fact, most people sort of suck at oral sex (and not in a good way). But it doesn’t have to stay this way—we can choose to raise the status quo.
Oral sex must be performed properly to be effective and enjoyable. According to my new found friend and speech path, (and now oral coach *grins*), unless your mouth is strong and controlled, there’s a limit to how much pleasure you’ll be capable of giving your lover. For instance, there’s a special way of elevating the clitoris through the suction of the lips, and then holding this position and stimulating it with a circular motion of the tongue that reliably drives women to ecstasy (we will get to this later). But a normal person frankly doesn’t have enough jaw control—not to mention lip strength and fine manipulation—to pull it off. Most people can’t even tie a cherry stem in their mouth, wow what’s the world coming too .
Tongue and mouth control
What has my new friend Simon super mouth got to say about this matter: Drawing on the experiences with patients and being a male tongue slave, I can tell you that an average person trying to perform the move you just mentioned would have a very high likelihood of slackening their jaw control while they tried to keep up the muscular action of the tongue, leading the jaw to close in what could be a very painful little mishap. The most pleasurable moves require a level of expertise that most of us simply don’t have. When it comes to oral sex, we need more than a list of good ideas, no matter how tantalizing those might be.
So I asked Simon..“what now, what can a sub do? or a Mistress teach, to make oral better, or take it new levels?”
You may think that your tongue is a soft, pink love muscle that simply rests in your mouth until you need it to chew, speak , yell your safeword, or get sexy. But it’s the most powerful muscle in your body in terms of exerting force, and as any speech therapist can tell you, that little sucker is exerting force all day long. The tongue exerts a minimum of six (and a maximum of eight) pounds of pressure in your mouth each time you swallow. The average individual swallows one thousand times in a twenty-four-hour cycle. You don’t need to be a math geek to figure out that that’s a lot of pressure—at least six thousand pounds a day—to be exerting anywhere in your body. And it’s more than enough to alter the structure of your mouth and the placement of your teeth significantly *shock*.
“Oh ok! well is there a particular place you should have you tongue simon super mouth? I know the answer to this one, but can you explain it? 😉
Yes MissB, there is a right way and a wrong way to place your tongue in your mouth. If we could feel just a little more of the six thousand pounds of pressure our tongues exert every day, most people would figure out how to place their tongues correctly as a matter of urgency There’s a part of the mouth that’s designed to withstand the pressure of the tongue—the hard palate on the roof—but most people never use it. Instead, they rest their tongues between their teeth, in the bottom of their jaw, or even worse, against the backs of the top teeth. Over time, placing the tongue in each of these spots weakens the tongue and surrounding muscles. As you read this paragraph, where is your tongue in your mouth? If it’s anywhere other than resting on the roof of your mouth behind (but not touching) the top row of teeth, your oral sex ability is being compromised. Try this experiment: read the rest of this article with the tip of your tongue always pressing against the hard palate on the roof of your mouth, without touching your teeth with the tip of your tongue always pressing against the hard palate on the roof of your mouth, without touching your teeth.
A poorly placed tongue impairs any and all uses of the tongue and mouth. Most people don’t know that this is an issue—while performing oral sex, they might just think that it’s natural to feel strained, get lockjaw, or have a gag reflex. While kissing, they might think that it’s equally normal to feel like they can’t get their lips in the right spot. But all of these (and snoring!) are symptoms of a misplaced tongue.
Aside from these effects, the placement of these incremental bursts of pressure changes the shape of your jaw and the placement of your teeth; determines how free your tongue is to move in, out, and around your mouth; and influences how much energy it has. You probably didn’t know that every time you swallow, you’re either helping or hurting your greatest oral sex asset. You probably didn’t even want to know that. But if you do want to give mind-blowing, satisfying, remembered-with-a-grin oral sex each and every time (and if you want to have fun doing it), you’re gonna have to accept a few Tongue Realities.
Tongue Reality 1: Your tongue does not like it when you smoke.
I know, I know, it’s sexy (sort of) and it can be a way to bond with Ms. Unapproachable Mistress Smoker, but the fact is that smoking isn’t good for your tongue. A smoker’s tongue tends to be lazy and lifeless, bulbous and placid. Simon adds that your tongue needs to be an energetic, frontward, stand-up soldier, not a limp pile of mess hall meat. Not to mention, smoking is flat-out bad for you, so it’s not like you would be getting rid of a productive pastime. (MissBonnie: shut up simon super mouth your boring me enough to light up 😛 )
Tongue Reality 2: Your tongue needs exercise, too.
You may think that your tongue gets a fine workout by eating and talking and kissing, but usually quite the opposite is happening. Since most people don’t even know the right position for their tongue, these activities actually weaken it by reinforcing bad habits. If you want a tongue that can lead wild excursions into intensely sensual experiences of oral, you have to give it specific, controlled exercises.
Later, you’ll find some of the exercises to jump-start basic training for your tongue: MissB
Tongue Reality 3:
You don’t know your tongue. Maybe you’re lucky enough to have already gone to speech therapy (MissB: though like me, you might not have recognized this as luck at the time LOL). Or maybe you were even luckier and inherently assumed correct tongue positioning. But it’s highly unlikely: out of more than ten thousand patients I’ve seen, not a single one walked into my office with their tongue correctly placed. Most of them didn’t even know that there was a correct position for the tongue.
But take heart—tongues are easy to get to know. They have simple needs that are easily satisfied. And you and your partner are going to get a lot out of this new acquaintance. Speaking of which, there’s a list of side benefits to these exercises that could lure the biggest couch potatoes on the planet to open their mouths and exercise their love tool: MissB
You’ll Feel Better
Much of your body’s tension goes into the face, neck, and shoulders and stays there. We grind our teeth. We can’t get our sinuses unclogged. We get short of breath sooner than we should, not from exertion but from not breathing properly. All these symptoms can be exercised away.
You’ll Look Better With your jaw muscles balanced, your tongue in the right place, and your swallowing patterns corrected, your face in repose will be at its most symmetrical and unstressed, so your features can appear to their best advantage, that alone is advantage. When you smile, talk, sing, or make love to your Mistress, you won’t be contorted, look tense, or appear worried, because your face will stop storing muscular tension—you’ll be radiating subbie charm instead of strain.
You’ll Sound Better
Your voice will have a wonderful resonance, both richer and rounder than you’ve probably ever heard it. It will be sexier, more commanding in the work place too. When you open your mouth to speak, your voice will have more tonal assurance, making people more likely to want to listen and respond to you if your in a job of authority.
Furthermore, if you snore , performing these exercises and keeping your tongue correctly positioned will eliminate the possibility of a single little snore—or even a midnight chortle—ever escaping your lips, and waking your Mistress beauty sleep. When the tongue is positioned correctly, your mouth is physiologically incapable of snoring. MissB
Common Problems
Now that you are familiar with these basic notions on tongue placement, it’s time to start preparing you to deliver lifelong ecstasy to your Mistress. But first i want to talk about my personal experiences over the years before simon super mouth teaches us: MissBonnie
I find many oral sex lovers are inadvertently lopsided—either they have lots of enthusiasm and lack the required skills, or they have some know-how but no panache. The following problems are ones I’ve experienced first hand, you may want to address them to make sure that you’re a well-rounded lover and attentive submissive.
1. Lockjaw.
his jaw is gripped by tension, set in one position, so his tongue is allowed no free play. (This can be a particular problem for lispers adds simon.) I feel like hitting him with a base ball bat LOL
2. The Tooth Monster.
Lack of jaw control that there teeth get in the way, snagging on things that they shouldn’t and making what should be a tender, erotic moment seem like an operation without anesthetic. Gawd this hurts! see above use of baseball bat!
3. The Drowning Pool.
They produce too much saliva, which gets in the way of their breathing properly and keeping up a steady, even, controlled stroke. Means my orgasms can get spoiled 🙁 boys we aren’t joking when we say “we want a man who can breath through his ears” 😆
4. The Tongue Depressive.
His tongue is sluggish, lazy. He can’t flick it lightly to catch those sensitive spots at the right time and with the right pressure. simply frustrating!
5. Flabby Tongue.
our tongue is bulbous, large and flaccid, with no flexibility and no tonal quality. For all the good it does your me, he might as well have rolled itself up into a ball and curled away to hibernate for the winter .
6. The Big Gag.
You don’t know exactly why, but they’re gagging. And I thought only Brussel sprouts or being force feed there own cum could do this to them! But don’t worry, it can be easily fixed without years of psychotherapy according to simon super mouth.
simon are there any exercises you can use to preparing your mouth and tongue for giving great oral pleasure to your mistress? and what about kissing? gosh simon! you sure like making us wait, but I’ll forgive you. I want better oral MissBitch
Yes there are loads of strengthening exercise but before beginning the exercises, let’s take a moment to define the problems MissBonnie mentioned.
What simon super mouth got to say on the above problems with oral MissBonnie experienced: Everyone has a different relationship to oral sex, and while many of these problems may have psychological and cultural components, developing your skills and sense of confidence toward oral sex will help give you an overall sense of well-being. Often performing exercises needed to strengthen the following areas and eliminate these problems for good.
The techniques you’ll be working on later will help you to attain the needed skills and will create a firm foundation from which you can build more advanced skills. They won’t automatically make you a great oral lover, but they will give you all the tools you need.
Jaw Control.
So you can open your mouth as wide as necessary, without straining.
Proper Breathing.
Learning how to breathe in and out through your nose, so you don’t run out of breath while your mouth is busy. You’ll eliminate one more distraction, and make it that much easier to concentrate on the magic that’s passing between you and your Domme. Easing the Tension. Oral sex involves more than just your mouth. Learning how to relax your neck and shoulders, your knees, your fingers, your whole body, will contribute greatly to your being able to focus all your enthusiasm on the matter at hand.
Swallowing.
Using your whole throat to swallow releases the constrictions in everything that’s above it—tongue, sinuses, nasal passages.
Mouth Basics
simon excercises pleeeeeease don’t make get my whip!:MissBonnie
ok MissB, sorry I get carried away its a topic very close to every facet of my professional and personal life LOL first I’m going to talk about kissing since MissBitch mentioned it and since great oral involves a great deal of it. After all we do need to start with the basics of the mouth (winks). The next time you’re in the bathroom, take a look at your tongue. Most of us think of our tongues as one unit, but the tongue has four distinct sections that you will need to familiarize yourself with in order to move your tongue techniques into second gear. These are:
the tip (the position of the tongue nearest the teeth), the blade (the point just below the alveolar ridge)
the middle (the section that touches the roof of your mouth when you arch your tongue by placing the tip behind your lower teeth and pressing upward)
and the back (the part that falls away from the roof of your mouth in an arched position).
Your tongue is the largest and most powerful muscle in the body and is distinguished from other muscles by its ability to flatten and point itself so dexterously. Because of its capacity to flatten and lengthen, or sharpen and point its tip, as well as its ability to alternate between heavy and light exertions of pressure, the tongue is custom-crafted to administer oral sex.
There is nothing else in the sex shop that can do all this. To boot, the tongue has a smooth underside, as well as a rough top texture “for Mistress’ pleasure.” *grins* MissB
The Spot
The first step in developing your tongue’s strength and precision (MissB adds: directly connected to its ability to give pleasure) is to identify the Spot. This is a particular place on the roof of your mouth where you will need to place your tongue for the majority of the tongue- and lip-strengthening exercises in this article. To find it, insert your (clean) finger into your mouth so that you’re touching the place where the backs of your top teeth meet the gums. Trace your finger from here to the spot where the roof suddenly drops to another level. This slope is known as the alveolar ridge.
Remove your finger and start playing with your tongue. See how sharply you can point the tip. It needs to be more like a pencil than a hot dog. The sharper you can make the tip, the more delicately and precisely you are going to be able to stimulate your Dominant. (If you can’t make a well-defined point now, don’t worry; there are exercises later in the article that will help you develop one.) When you have made your best possible point and identified the tip of your tongue, place the tip only on the drop-off (or alveolar ridge). Don’t let your tongue touch your front row of teeth, and make sure that it doesn’t fall beyond the ridge.
Keeping your tongue in this position will stop it from changing the position of the lips, something the tongue is notorious (in my field anyway) for doing. Think of your tongue as a hammy actor—it’s always trying to get past, distract, or upstage your lips and jaw from their function. But worse than that, it can also take energy away from the lips. So put that tongue in its place.
Aside from enabling you to participate in the exercises, placing your tongue here can stimulate the blood supply to the brain, increasing concentration and mental clarity. To do this, keep the tip of the tongue pressing up into the Spot, and let the middle of your tongue come up onto the roof of your mouth without changing the tip’s pressure. Only the middle should be pressing into the curved top of the mouth. The back of your tongue should still be hanging down into the back of the mouth. Holding this position will help you become more composed and clear-minded. It requires a little practice to keep your tongue here (MissB adds: about as much as teaching a dog to stay, but this position gives back ten times what you put into it.)
Coming to grips with your lazy lips
Though they take over completely during kissing, lips are a primary point of contact with your partner during all of oral sex and so must be as exquisitely soft and pleasing to the touch as possible. These kissing exercises must be as devoted to developing a velvet touch as they are to extending and strengthening lip movement. While developing mastery over the movement of the lips is extremely important to help them create a wide variety of sensations on cue, you never want to tone your lips so much that they become too firm or muscular.
To keep your lips soft and inviting, make sure that you never perform lip exercises with tense lips. Pucker and tap your lips gently with your index finger. How soft do your lips feel? This is how they should feel when you perform the lip exercises. Avoid tensing your lips when you go through the motions of each exercise. For the first week of practice, you should do all of the exercises standing in front of a mirror, so that you can be sure that the correct parts of the lips and mouth—and nothing else—are moving. In the beginning, you should do each exercise separately, with a five to ten minute break in between. After the first week, the exercises can flow into each other. Each exercise should be performed every day for seven days to start, then switch to every other day for an additional week to train the muscles to remember their new skills.
Kissing Exercises
Pucker Up
With your tongue on the Spot push your lips all the way forward until they open and roll their insides out, sticking as much of the inside of your lips out as possible. Then, keeping them fully extended, open and close your lips, bringing just the fleshy parts together to form a small circle. Touch them together five times. Practicing Pucker Up may make you look a little silly, and a lot like a fish, but trust this exercise—it will put you far ahead of the game by helping you find the correct positioning of the tongue and jaw. This exercise acquaints you with the soft insides of your lips—when you perform it, notice what potential the lips have to create soft, delightful sensations. Lip implants are popular because they promise exactly this sensation. But in order to deliver it, make sure to note the difference in texture between the soft, glossy inside and the drier outside of the lips. Many people make the mistake of firming up the lips, and kissing with only their rough outside edges, thereby missing out on the moist inner lips’ inherent kissability. (You can feel how un stimulating this is if you simply close your lips and slightly roll them in between your teeth so that only the outer lip is exposed.) This part of the lip has no friction or engagement, both of which are absolute necessities for an erotically stimulating kiss. However, others make the mistake of rolling the lips out too far. This results in the “I felt like he was eating my face” sensation. When you kiss, the other person should be able to feel both the rough and glossy parts of your lips and never just one or the other. Similarly, during oral sex, the entire lip should be used for greatest effect. However, on a particularly sensitive clit, use just the glossy insides to avoid over-stimulation.
Another issue that significantly impacts kissing and oral sex is the strength of the lips. Most of us never think of the lips as muscles, but lip strength is an extremely important factor for any kind of lingual caress. Pucker Up identifies and prepares you to use your entire lips, but if the muscles are weak the effect won’t contribute much to your kiss. In order to give a really memorable, arousing smooch, your lips need to be strong and under your control. One exercise for this is called E like “Eat,” O like “Swoon.” (MissB: You can use your imagination for what kind of “eating” this refers to.) E like “Eat,” O like “Swoon”
With your tongue on the Spot and your teeth together, look at yourself in the mirror and pull your lips as wide apart as they can possibly go. Place your pointer and middle finger with the pads against the teeth, and start saying “eeeeeeeeee.” Not “ehhhhhh,” like “elephant,” but a strong, sharp “e” like “eat.” Keep looking in the mirror to make sure that your lips are the only things moving (that is, don’t move your jaw, neck, or tongue) and that they are stretched widely enough so that they aren’t touching your fingers. Hold your lips in this position for the count of ten.
When you’re ready, remove your fingers and pull your lips into a tight little circle with the insides of the lips pressing forward—as if you were trying to touch someone else with the smooth insides of the lips—and say “OOOOO” like “swoon.” This will strengthen your lips, as well as the surrounding muscles. Do ten repetitions of these kissing exercises every day for a week.
Advanced Lip Exercises for Kissing
The Saltwater Pump—Front
Pumping exercises increase your lip dexterity. Put one teaspoon of salt in half a glass of warm (not hot) water. Pump a mouthful of this back and forth behind your upper lip.
Allow the shape of your lip to be changed by the pressure of the water moving in and out. Perform this for a full minute, pushing the salt water as far as it will go without opening your lips.
The presence of the salt will make you aware of the exact places your lip expands with this exercise.
Take note of how much your lip can actually stretch, because you’ll be using the insides of your lips extensively in kissing and manipulating the finer points of your lover’s anatomy.
You should be using a half a glass of water to complete this exercise through a series of three to seven mouthfuls (depending on the size of your mouth).
Do this three times a day for a week.
The Lip Massage
Whereas the Saltwater Pump softens the deeper tissues of your lips, performing the same motions with air softens the surface of the lips, especially the delicate edges where your lips touch.
It will also help you gain control over this crucial area for oral sex.
This is the part of the lip that will hold the clitoris in place; it is also the part of the lip that is most responsible for stimulating the surrounding area during clitoral stimulation.
Using your breath instead of water, push air behind your upper lip as firmly as you can. Again, do not tense or engage the lip muscles, but allow them to be moved and stretched by the power of your breath.
Do this ten or twelve times during the day.
The Saltwater Pump—Side
Using the same ratio of salt to warm water as in Saltwater Pump—Front, push the water outward against the cheeks.
Allow your cheek muscles to relax completely, then slowly push the water completely into them and maintain the position for a few seconds.
Let the water blow back into the mouth gently, with still further relaxation of the cheek muscles. Alternate forcing the water in and out of the cheeks in this manner.
Do this five times a day, filling and emptying twice each time.
Monkey Face
Slowly force salt water behind the upper lip, gradually building up pressure until the lip is completely rounded out.
Make sure that the lip muscles are completely relaxed.
Do this five times in a row, then perform the same process on the lower lip.
Try this again using air to reach the subtler musculature. The reason for doing both is that while using water makes the lips more flexible, air makes them tangibly softer. Taking some air into your mouth, force it gently into your upper lip, as if you are blowing up a balloon.
Hold to the count of ten, five times in a row on the upper lip, then the bottom lip, and then both
The Jug of Plenty
This exercise will give you some of the softest, most memorable lips on the planet.
To perform it, you need an empty plastic half-gallon jug (or container of equal size and weight) and about four or five feet of string. Good cotton string is highly preferable to dental floss or thread.
Place the jug on the floor, and tie the cotton string through the handle so that you can lift the jug off the floor with the string.
Put one end of the string in your mouth, and bend over so that you are looking directly down at the jug.
Lift the jug off the floor by puckering your lips and using them to pull the string into your mouth.
And you may want to close the blinds! this one is harder to explain than whip marks 😉
Some people start to suck as if they were eating a long piece of spaghetti. Instead, actively use the inner part of the lips to pull in the string, hold it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue, and then use your lips to pull in another segment.
Lifting the jug six or eight inches off the floor will do.
Your face should remain parallel to the floor.
Lift and lower the jug ten times (each time should only take a few seconds).
Be very careful when taking the string into your mouth. Do not perform this exercise haphazardly or while rushing.
Button Up!
The purpose of this exercise is to get the muscles of your lips to strengthen by working against themselves.
The idea here is to tone the lip muscles by forcing them to adapt to increased stress.
For this exercise, you will need a button between the size of a dime and a quarter, and a piece of string as long as your arm.
Thread the string through the button, and tie the ends of the string together.
Pull the button with one hand and the string with the other until the doubled string is stretched taut.
Place the button in your mouth, and position it equally between your top and bottom lip (but not touching your teeth).
Holding the button with your dominant hand (left for left-handed, etc.), hold the string so that it is perfectly straight and even.
Begin to pull your dominant hand slowly away from your motionless head with steadily increasing force
The button will attempt to escape your mouth by forcing your lips open—don’t let it.
Pull harder until you find the point where you lose the button.
Try to remember how far away your dominant hand is when it pops free, so that you can set your goal for the next time just beyond that point.
Do this five times a day for seven days, then three times a day for another seven.
These exercises all help make the lips supple and soft, while maximizing their tone and energy so that they never tire of giving your partner pleasure.
The energy you put into your lips here will show up in tenfold when it’s time to give some luscious licks and kisses
Tongue-Tied
Let’s refine your control and fine manipulation of the tongue. For french kissing, an excellent exercise is to look in the mirror and bring your tongue fully to a point.
Stick out your tongue and bring it to a point without touching your teeth or lips.
Hold it in this position and make a mental note of its size and shape.
Now relax and widen the tongue as much as possible, still without touching your teeth or lips.
The first time you perform this exercise in the mirror, you may be surprised by just how versatile your tongue really is—it can stretch from a point less than half an inch long to four times that size without touching the teeth or lips.
The concept of your tongue as a free agent, moving independently of your teeth and lips is particularly important for oral love, even crucial.
While kissing, allow the tongue to move independently, but avoid making it sharp or pointed (at least until kissing has become extremely passionate and aggressive).
Remember that a soft, wide tongue is much more inviting than a darting poker, and that each minute change of your tongue shape will be felt intimately by your partner.
exercises that apply directly to oral sex
So simon what about exercises that apply directly to oral sex?
BASIC EXERCISES
Nose Touch :
Stick out your tongue and curve it up. Try to touch your nose. If you can touch your nose already, try to touch only the tip of your nose using the tip of your tongue.
Repeat twice.
Chin Touch :
Stick out your tongue.
Curve it down and try to touch your chin.
See if you can touch your chin without the tip alone.
Repeat twice.
Up and Down :
Open your mouth, keeping your tongue inside and behind your teeth.
Move it slowly up and down, touching the tip to the roof, then to the base.
Do not run the tongue along the roof or over the teeth.
Pretend there is a toothpick between the roof of your mouth and the bottom of your jaw, and move your tongue along this perfectly vertical line.
See how fast you can go while keeping the tip as the point of contact.
Side to Side :
Open your mouth a little.
Let your tongue peek out.
Move it back and forth to each corner of your mouth on a curved path (following, but not touching, your bottom lip)
Do this four times.
Peanut Butter :
Open your mouth a little.
Pretend you have peanut butter all over your lips.
Lick all the peanut butter off your top lip, then lick it off the bottom one.
Tongue Push :
Keep your lips closed.
Place your tongue against one cheek and push it out, while using three fingers to gently push against the tongue from the other side of the cheek.
Repeat on the other side.
Open Wide :
Open and close your mouth.
Letting your tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth, stretch out your cheeks but don’t strain your jaw.
Smiley Face :
Keeping your lips closed, give the biggest smile you can muster.
Think of the oral sex master you will shortly become.
Sad Mouth :
Keeping your lips closed, turn your mouth down as far as you can.
(MissB: Think of the fact that according to the McKinsey Report 60 percent of women report that their spouses give “moderately” satisfactory oral sex. )
Show Your Teeth :
Keeping your teeth closed, open your lips and give a big smile.
Say “extremely satisfactory” without touching your lips to your teeth.
Kisses :
Pucker your lips and make one long kissing sound, keeping your lips closed, by sucking air in through your tightly contracted lips for ten seconds.
Raspberries :
Stick out your tongue and close your lips around it.
Then blow air out, letting your tongue and lips vibrate.
This may tickle.
Pops:
press your lips together and pop them apart, making a loud noise.
Do not suck in—the popping sound is created by simply rolling your closed lips in very slightly, then allowing them to separate.
Fish Face :
Push your lips out to make a fish face (without sucking in your cheeks for dramatic effect).
Open and close your lips a few times
Lipstick Lad:
Press your lips together and rub them back and forth, as if you are spreading lipstick around on them.
Oooooh . . . Aaaaah :
Focusing all of your attention on your lips, very elaborately shape your lips into the small circle that accompanies an “oooooh” sound, and hold it for about ten seconds.
Then, smoothly transition into opening your mouth as far as it will go and saying “aaaaah” for ten seconds. Do each five times.
If you have successfully completed these warm-ups, congratulations! They are admittedly hard for sophisticated adults to perform.
INTERMEDIATE EXERCISES
Now that your tongue, lips, and cheeks are soft, supple, and ready to move, you’re equipped to practice more advanced exercises. These exercises apply directly to oral sex and simulate particular moves.
Tongue Cluck :
Put your tongue tip behind your top teeth and get the sides of your tongue up, too. Suck in and cluck, making a horse-galloping noise.
See if you can get the middle to come down first, and the tip of the tongue last.
Focusing on getting the middle of your tongue to come down before the tip will teach your tongue how to stimulate your lover using the soft underside of the tongue instead of the rougher taste bud side.
Few people know how to do this, and as the smooth side of the tongue feels delightful on the sensitive parts of the body, this exercise is well worth the effort of mastering.
Tsk-tsk :
Use this exercise to train your tongue to use the area between the roof of your mouth and the taste bud side of your tongue to create more surrounding sensations on your lover.
With your lips open, place your tongue tip on the bump behind your top teeth and suck in gently.
If you hear a sound like a disapproving old woman, you’re doing it right.
Whole Tongue Suck :
This exercise helps you teach your mouth how to focus on a specific area and to use sucking to heighten sensation.
Suck your entire tongue up onto the roof of your mouth.
Press and release, making a sucking sound.
Repeat five times.
Tongue Stretch :
This exercise will give your tongue more dexterity, so that you can be sure to find your lover’s hot spots.
Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth while you raise and lower your jaw.
You should feel your tongue stretch.
Repeat ten times.
Tongue Push :
With your lips open, push your tongue onto the bump behind your top row of teeth for ten seconds.
Relax.
Repeat three times.
This will teach you how to apply pressure with your tongue in a designated place, and it will strengthen your control over when and where your tongue applies force.
Baby Talk :
Place your finger between your top and bottom rows of front teeth and practice saying these syllables: “tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh”; “duh, duh, duh, duh”; “nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.”
Notice how your tongue moves down with the center first, and then the tip?
This will help you further develop your ability to stimulate your lover using the soft underside of the tongue. Your finger should have no teeth marks on it, and should not be wet by the end of the exercise.
Crush That Candy :
Using a small piece of circular candy (like a Skittle or M&M), use your tongue to press the candy into the bump behind your front row of teeth, without pressing your tongue into your teeth as well.
Press the candy with your tongue steadily, until it breaks or dissolves.
Do not repeat.
For the health conscious, a Cheerio works exceptionally well.
This exercise tones and strengthens the tongue, and if practiced regularly, will eliminate fatigue.
KKK (Not That One) :
Keeping your tongue tip down behind your lower teeth, open your mouth and make a “k-k-k” sound by lifting the back of your tongue.
When your lover is ready for more intense stimulation, use this tongue motion to stimulate them with the rough, taste bud side of your tongue.
More Imaginary Peanut Butter :
Pretend you have peanut butter all over your bottom lip.
Stretch your top lip over your bottom lip and pretend to wipe all the peanut butter off, addressing the sides as well as the front.
For supersensitive areas on your lover, the lip is a great substitute for the tongue.
The soft inside of the upper lip can extend in the manner exercised to caress and awaken sensitive spots that can be stimulated more aggressively with the tongue later.
Hold It and Blow :
Practice blowing a cotton ball across a table through a straw held firmly between your lips.
Focus on applying specific amounts of pressure with the air you exert from your mouth.
This will both fine-tune the muscles of your mouth and teach your tongue to flatten at just the tip—an excellent position from which to initiate upward strokes over the clitoris (or other supersensitive areas) with definite feeling but not an overwhelming degree of it.
Different Strokes :
Pretend that you have whipped cream all over the roof of your mouth.
Using the tip of your tongue, sweep it from front to back along the roof of your mouth.
Do this for ten strokes, then change direction, now going from front to back and noting the difference in sensation
The basic exercises should be performed for two weeks, and the intermediate ones for an additional week. (This is because the intermediate exercises build on and hone the raw skills developed by the basic ones.)
alas poor simon super mouth died at his type writer, like we almost did waiting for the exercises. *rolls eyes* Of course we am joking simon is alive and well, although gaged to save on the length of this article. 😉 we thought in the interest of space, subsequent articles are best broken into sections: MissBonnie and MissBitch
