Pet play is a distinctive form of role-playing within the BDSM community where participants embody the characteristics of animals. In a femdom context, this often involves one partner assuming the role of an animal, referred to as the ‘pet,’ while the other partner takes on the role of the caretaker or owner, commonly known as the ‘Domme.’ This type of role-play can manifest in various forms, including puppy play, kitten play, and pony play, each with its own unique set of behaviors and dynamics.
Puppy play typically involves the ‘pet’ adopting canine behaviors, such as barking, playing fetch, and following commands, while the Domme provides guidance, training, and care. Kitten play, on the other hand, sees the ‘pet’ embodying feline traits like purring, nuzzling, and playful antics, often seeking the Domme’s affection and attention. Pony play is characterized by the ‘pet’ taking on equine mannerisms, such as trotting, wearing tack, and even participating in training exercises or simulated competitions under the Domme’s supervision.
The appeal of pet play within a femdom dynamic is multifaceted. For many, it serves as a form of escapism, allowing individuals to temporarily shed their human identities and immerse themselves in the simplicity and freedom of animalistic behavior. This can be particularly liberating and provide a respite from the complexities of daily life.
Moreover, pet play offers a unique avenue for exploring power dynamics. The roles inherently involve a clear hierarchy, with the Domme exercising control and the pet submitting, which can be deeply fulfilling for those who derive satisfaction from such exchanges. This power play can also lead to a profound sense of trust and intimacy between partners, as the ‘pet’ relies on the Domme for care and guidance, and the Domme, in turn, nurtures and protects the pet.
In essence, pet play within femdom is not merely about mimicry of animal behavior; it is a sophisticated interplay of power, trust, and emotional connection, providing a rich and rewarding experience for those who engage in it.
How Does Pet Play Work?
Pet play, a unique and multifaceted aspect of Femdom, involves one partner embodying the role of a pet, such as a dog or cat, while the Domme assumes the role of the pet owner or trainer. The mechanics of pet play encompass various elements, including the use of specialized gear and the adoption of specific behaviors by the ‘pet.’ Essential items like collars, leashes, tails, and pet-specific attire help enhance the authenticity of the experience, allowing participants to fully immerse themselves in their roles.
The ‘pet’ in pet play is expected to perform behaviors that align with their chosen animal persona. This might include barking, crawling, playing fetch, or even performing tricks. The Domme, on the other hand, takes on the responsibility of guiding and controlling the ‘pet,’ using commands and rewards to encourage desired behaviors. This dynamic can include the use of non-verbal cues, body language, and vocal instructions to maintain the role-play’s continuity.
Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of pet play. The Domme must ensure that all activities are consensual and that both parties feel comfortable and safe. Clear communication before the session is essential to establish limits and discuss any potential triggers or concerns. During the session, ongoing communication, either verbal or through established cues, helps to ensure that both partners remain within their comfort zones. Following the session, a debriefing conversation allows for reflection and feedback, helping both parties to improve future experiences.
Safety is paramount in pet play. The Domme must remain vigilant and attentive to the ‘pet’s’ physical and emotional well-being. This includes monitoring for any signs of distress, fatigue, or discomfort. Regular check-ins can help to mitigate any issues that may arise, ensuring that the play remains a positive and enjoyable experience for both parties.
In summary, the success of pet play within Femdom relies heavily on mutual respect, clear communication, and adherence to established boundaries. By prioritizing consent and safety, participants can engage in a fulfilling and consensual experience that strengthens their dynamic and enhances their connection.
How to Create a Pet Play Scene
Creating a successful pet play scene necessitates thorough preparation and a deep understanding of both partners’ desires and boundaries. The journey begins with an open dialogue where negotiation and consent are paramount. Both the Dominant (Domme) and the submissive (pet) should clearly express their interests, limits, and any hard or soft boundaries. This conversation ensures that both participants are on the same page and fosters a trustful environment, which is crucial for a fulfilling experience.
Selecting the right gear is the next step in setting up a pet play scene. The choice of equipment can significantly enhance the immersion and enjoyment of the scene. Common items include collars, leashes, tails, ears, and even cages, each catering to different aspects of the role-play. Beginners may start with basic accessories, gradually incorporating more elaborate items as they become more comfortable. Advanced practitioners might explore custom-made gear to tailor the experience to their specific preferences.
Setting the mood and environment is equally important. The ambiance should reflect the desired dynamic and fantasy. This could involve transforming a room with props and decorations reminiscent of a pet’s habitat, such as adding soft blankets, pet bowls, or even using sound effects like purring or barking. Lighting and music can also be adjusted to create a specific atmosphere, whether it’s playful, nurturing, or strict.
Planning activities is another crucial element. Activities should be enjoyable for both the pet and the Domme, fostering a sense of engagement and fulfillment. This could include obedience training, pet tricks, grooming sessions, or simply spending time together in a manner that reinforces the pet’s role. It’s important to strike a balance between structure and spontaneity to keep the scene dynamic and enjoyable.
Aftercare is an essential component to ensure both participants feel valued and secure post-scene. This might involve cuddling, verbal reassurance, or attending to any physical needs, such as water or a snack. Aftercare helps in transitioning back to everyday roles, reinforcing the bond and trust between partners. For advanced practitioners, aftercare might also include a debriefing session to discuss what worked well and what could be improved for future scenes.
The Emotional Aspects of Pet Play
Pet play within Femdom dynamics often elicits a wide array of emotions and psychological responses from both participants. For the submissive, or “pet,” emotions such as devotion, loyalty, and a profound sense of belonging are commonly experienced. The act of assuming an animal’s role can simplify complex human emotions, allowing the pet to express affection and submission in a more primal, unguarded way. This can create a safe space for the pet to explore their submissive nature, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and their desires.
For the Domme, pet play can foster feelings of control, protection, and nurturing. The dynamic often enhances the Domme’s sense of authority and responsibility, as they guide and care for their pet. This nurturing aspect can strengthen the emotional bond between the Domme and the pet, building a foundation of trust and mutual respect that transcends the boundaries of the scene.
One of the significant benefits of pet play is its potential to deepen emotional connections. The immersive nature of the experience can lead to heightened levels of intimacy and trust, allowing both parties to connect on a more profound level. Additionally, pet play can serve as a form of therapeutic relief, offering an escape from the stresses of daily life. Participants often find that engaging in pet play helps them manage anxiety and stress, providing a sanctuary where they can fully express themselves without fear of judgment.
Another critical aspect of pet play is the exploration of identity and self-expression. By embodying an animal persona, individuals can explore facets of their personality that may not find expression in their everyday lives. This exploration can be both liberating and enlightening, contributing to personal growth and self-awareness.
Aftercare and emotional check-ins are crucial components of pet play. Following a session, both the Domme and the pet should engage in aftercare to process the experience and address any emotional or physical needs. Emotional check-ins help maintain a healthy relationship dynamic, ensuring that both parties feel supported and understood. This practice reinforces the trust and emotional connection that is vital for a fulfilling and sustainable Femdom relationship.
I can only answer these question for myself and comment on how I deal with punishment issues. How you choose to deal with infractions is up to yourself, and your own individual flare and style. Dominas all have different needs and different requirements from submissives…what I require from my submissives may be different to your needs.
Punishment is an inevitable element of relationships between a Mistress and a sub. To speak shortly, punishment is designed for behaviour correction. But all involved in BDSM/Femdom know that punishment is a gift and the Domme’s benefaction as it helps to get free from feeling of guilt and it is a sign of the Top’s care for her sub. This article is not meant as ‘how too guide’ but more for a creative spark to plan your own course of punishment actions. The main issue with punishments that I can’t stress highly enough is consistency! If you threaten to punish him/her follow it through! Your submissive is seeking your guidance and control. Not punishing an act you find unacceptable is sending out a message you have no control.
Perhaps there is no need to mention that necessity of punishment must be realized by the slave and no penalty can take place without the sub’s agreement. Femdom relationships always imply love goodwill, and safe sane and consensual actions. So punishment must be necessarily discussed in advance. To effectively punish. Punishment requires some suggestions which can be followed any time a Domme finds it necessary to give her sub a lesson.
Three Main Punishment suggestions
1. Punishment in any detail must be different from other types of Femdom action. Otherwise the submissive is going to get used to it and take punishment as something habitual – what lesson is he going to be given than? For instance you can have special BDSM toys used only for punishment and nothing else. Use them only when punishing your sub. In this case these BDSM toys are going to be associated only with actions intended to punish him/her.
2. It is the Domme who defines severity of punishment as well as its other details. The Domme chooses the time her Sub is going to be punished, What BDSM toys she is going to use, tortures the sub must undergo etc. All these things must not be discussed; otherwise this is going to be anything but punishment and in fact might be something the submissive seeks out and desires!
3. One offence – one punishment. This is the main principle which if not followed makes punishment useless. The sub must always be aware what s/he is being punished for.
Now let us speak about punishment itself. Actually punishment for my submissives consists of five suggested steps. They may or may not fit your chosen form of Femdom practices.
Step one. Explanation
This step implies explanation of what was done wrong and what your slave should have done instead. Make sure the submissive realizes his/her guilt otherwise everything that comes next is going to be of no use. Submissives left struggling with reasons for punishment often feel confused and disorientated with other activities. Left questioning they often question every action they undertake on your behalf. A submissive is not a mind reader ‘communication’ is a must if you ever wish to alter his/her behaviour.
Step two. Sub who begs for punishment.
Punishment might always involve this step and it might never imply it – everything depends on the Top. The bottom does not have the right to choose whether s/he should beg to punish him/her or not – this is not a matter for him/her to decide. A submissive asking to be punished is topping from the bottom and learning that s/he can alter the outcome of plans. Make a mental note that s/he is asking for punishment and try to evaluate why s/he is asking. Does s/he need more attention? Is s/he trying to manipulate you into action? Why is this occurring? This more often the question that needs addressing. Is there an underlying problem?
Step three. Getting ready for punishment and realization of guilt.
The fourth action is perhaps the longest one and it takes place without the Domme’s interference. I have found this step has helped my submissive/s greatly in rectifying his/her errors so they never reoccur. This might imply being on knees in very uncomfortable position in darkness. As well it might imply use of some BDSM toys, such as restraints. This step is very effective as being alone the bottom feels lonely and denied. Alone (or time out) allows for reflection time on the ‘error‘ the time out allows the submissive time from distractions to evaluate what has occurred. Time out also allows for the submissive to get in the right head space and let go off the vanilla world.
Step four. Punishment.
The fourth step is punishment itself. Here no recommendations can be given. Everything that takes place during this stage of punishment depends on the Domme and HER own personal tastes, likes and desires. This can be not only inflicting pain on the bottom as many might think. Verbal communication is as well very important.
The Mistress can order her sub to repeat a part of guilt explanation in order to find out that the slave understood and realized his/her guilt. Realization of guilt can be expressed in some other way, for instance by saying “Thank you, Mistress!” or “forgive me Mistress! “After each blow or by continuous licking the Mistress’ feet during the punishment.
Verbal communication between the top and the bottom implies that the Domme should let her sub know whether the latter can cry or not. As well she should make it clear what is going to happen if the bottom cries in spite of this prohibition.
The top can let the bottom know how long punishment is going to last, what toys she is going to use, using this method the Domme must be consistent in her set plan of action and never falter. My advise to the newer less confident Domme or Domina in a new relationship would to NOT do this if she can at all help it, setting punishments length or duration often means the submissive may have to take more than s/he needs or less than s/he needs at the time of punishment. By not informing the submissive of the full extent of the punishments details it allows you room to adjust without appearing to of ‘softened’ on the punishment or appearing to lost control of the situation. So again everything depends on the Domme’s will to remain consistent to her original punishment goal.
Step Five Forgiveness.
Punishment has ended. The top might order the bottom to thank her for punishment. She can let her slave know what punishment he is going to undergo for committing the same crime again. And of course the top must let this slave know whether the latter is forgiven or not. In the end I should say that the first punishment must be very severe. Than punishments might become rarer and less cruel. Full-fledged D/s relationships imply that after some time punishment must become a very rare event or there should be no punishments at all as the most terrible thing for a bottom is being deprived of his Mistress’ love.
What ever methods you choose make sure you are comfortable in there delivery. You are trying to give your submissive ’rules’ to suit your desires, using a method you dislike will only add to you not enjoying the process and delaying its deliverance.
Enjoy the process, it shouldn’t be a chore and shouldn’t be out of anger. Punishment should be administered because you know your submissive and yourself will ‘both’ benefit from it effects and outcome.
If you are angry step away and re gather your thoughts and personal control. Acting in anger can cause misjudgement in your actions. Actions need to be clear, concise, too the point, relaying your intended purpose for correction. Often punishments dealt in anger can lead to injury or relationship problems.
Once you have administered your chosen punishment after care may be required.
On our studyBDSM training entertainment program “A taste of Cyber” it’s surprising the amount of subbies who have no idea I they could use a vibrator on themselves for play. They either thought vibrators only worked on women, or they weren’t for “guys like them.” Once most of these men gave vibrators a chance, they quickly became converts. Vibrators aren’t made for a certain kind of person, vibes are for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure.
Men in particular are offered a narrow set of sexual options, and vibrators can help expand those options and discover pleasure and orgasms you didn’t even know were in you. If you’re curious, here are some tips for men on how to use a vibrator
Time Required:
For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More of alone quiet time in a warm room.
Here’s How: Explode the myth.
Most male submissives think vibrators are sex toys for women, or Dominants only. Since you may have never thought vibrators could be for you, you may need to give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea of trying a vibrator. The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kinds of people, they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. you have those Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.
Get to know your vibrator. Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof be careful not to get any water near the battery case.
Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws return your vibrator before you use it.
Start on your own.
Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. If you are owned make sure you request permission first, the last thing we want is you in trouble with your Domme. Are you alone? You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).
Dull a loud BUZZZZZZ : Some battery-powered vibrators come with a foam, rubber, or cardboard insert that fits in the battery compartment to keep the batteries in place and prevent them from rattling. If the insert was cardboard, you may have accidentally discarded it while unpacking the vibrator or changing the batteries. If necessary, you may be able to improvise a new one by cutting a piece of thin scrap cardboard to fit inside the compartment..
Play with the lights on.
Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover or your Dominant partner. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.
Getting hot to trot.
It’s a generalization, but we are going to say it any way, men probably don’t touch all parts of their body as often as women do. You may be 100% familiar with your genitals, but how well do you know your calves or thighs? When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. How does it feel to use a different amount of pressure on your nipples. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator. Vibes are for more than just genitals, the whole body can benefit.
Turn on and tuning in.
Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the penis, scrotum, ass and nipples, don’t just jump to the main even. What’s your hurry! take your time, the more time spend building to orgasm the bigger the ‘O’ . Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples. Imagine its your lover of your dreams, where would she use it? where would you like to be touched?
Don’t rush: Explore every inch.
The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. You men are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body, but the only area capable of giving you an orgasm.
In fact there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure. :MissBitch.
Using a vibrator is a great way to find them. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight. Play with the speed of the vibrator. Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particular around the genitals. But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.
Play with pressure.
Experiment with applying different pressure with the vibrator. It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally. Some men find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them an orgasm without ever moving the vibrator. Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down – find what works for you.
External vs. internal vibration.
Hard plastic and electric vibrators are the best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally. You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use. You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water based lubricant for any penetration play. Remember phthalates and are best used with a condom for personal safety.
Shame
Anal play is nothing to be ashamed of, although many, many people are. We started it in our earliest childhood. In fact it is generally acknowledged as the first sexually related exploration every baby does and even some fetuses do it prior to birth. Let’s face it, the odor of plain shit – but called “musk” – is used in almost every perfume and even more so in male cosmetics because it is generally known as sexually appealing. For you animal lovers out there: the scent is derived from the musk plant, not the deer. Any biologist will explain that in all mammals, the genitals and the anus were deliberately placed close together, simply because the smell of the one points the way to the other. So, if you like it, or feel attracted to it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Plus, the anus is an erogenous zone by itself, whether you like it or not. Stimulating it will cause sexual arousal Kinsey – the sexologist best know for his extensive research of the sexual behavior of both men and women – said it as follows:
“The contractions of the buttocks reflect, more than any one factor, the development of the tensions involved in erotic arousal.”: Kinsley
The buttock muscles are among the strongest in the human body and they come into play during almost any form of sexual intercourse and even masturbation – especially for women. Some women even masturbate just by contracting and relaxing muscles and these include the “back door”. In the event you thought anal sexual attraction is just for a few, Kinsey – in his extensive research – found that fifty (!) percent of both men and women had had some experience with anal stimulation or anal intercourse. More recent research in the USA shows that some ten percent of the heterosexual couples regularly have anal intercourse. The anal and vaginal region and the penis share the same nerve roots and this is the physiological explanation for the sexual attraction of the anus. And – coming back to erotic power exchange – anal play and intercourse to many has strong connotations with terms of dominance and submission.
External anal stimulation.
The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds extremely well to vibe stimulation. As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out. See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your back side, and your inner thighs. Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go. Once they get over the newness of the feeling many submissive men find this highly pleasurable.
Anal penetration with a vibrator.
Anal play requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant.
Start slow and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body. Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready. Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.
What if I get a vibrator stuck in my anus?
People get vibrators stuck in their butts. It happens. To avoid it, never insert anything in your rear that doesn’t have a flange or wide flared base, or something at the end to keep it from going all the way up inside you.
If you do get a vibrator stuck in your rear, turn it off (if you can reach the controls). If the vibrator has an external battery pack, remove the batteries. Take deep breaths and try to relax your sphincter and abdominal muscles. Apply as much lube as possible to your rectum without pushing the vibrator further in. Bear down as you would during a bowel movement. If you can, stretch your rectum by inserting two or three fingers and spreading them. If the vibrator has wires attached from a battery or control pack, be careful when pulling on them, as they may detach. If you’re lucky, you may be able to get the tail end of the vibrator to clear your sphincter and ease it out of your rear. If this doesn’t work, don’t persist for too long, especially if you’re in pain. Swallow your pride and get yourself to an emergency room. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but it’s not the first time it’s happened, and it’s not the strangest thing anybody’s put up their butt by a long stretch. The ER doctors will probably use a speculum to dilate your butt, and then extract the vibrator manually. In extreme cases, abdominal surgery may be required.
So, we say again, only use vibrators anally if they are designed to be used anally. Please. Your neighborhood ER techs will thank you.
Using your vibrator with a partner.
You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe and use it on yourself. You and your partner can use it on each other. vibe even have uses when doing cunnilingus on her. There are vibrators that fit over the penis for use during partner penetration play. You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.
Concerns: for use with partner Some couples have concerns about adding a vibrator to their sex lives. You may be afraid she will start to like it “more than me” and she may be concerned it will be impersonal and cold. These fears are normal, but unfounded. Talk about any such worries, and keep open communication about them as you explore.
A couple may be afraid that the vibrator will become the focus of most of their sex, and mean less intercourse. In reality a vibrator often means more sex. Most women find orgasm takes a certain amount of time and energy, even when they feel sexual desire. If a woman doesn’t feel she has the time and energy necessary to have an orgasm, she may shy away from sex, or choose to have sex “just for him.” Because a vibrator can make orgasm faster and easier (but not necessarily better) a woman may choose to have sex, or to have sex for both of them, when she would have said no before having a vibrator. The vibrator can be a back up – the woman is able to have sex because she knows her husband can use the vibrator if need be. Sometimes once she gets going she has no need or interest in the vibrator – but knowing it was there made it easier for her.
If vibrators were addictive, they could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways.
Finally, some folks are afraid that the woman will become “addicted” to the vibrator, and unable to orgasm without it. Despite years of warnings about this, it has not come to pass. Some couples have used a vibrator to give the wife her first ever orgasm, and then have used what they learned from that to give her orgasms in other ways. If it were addictive, it could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways. We have talked to couples who have used a vibrator for a decade or more, and several of the woman feel they are now more orgasmic without the vibrator than before they started to use it.
Using a vibrator on her:
If you are laying side by side with her (which will be emotionally preferable for some women, at least at first) place it between her labia, over or near the clitoris, with your hand cupped over the vibrator. Start with the speed low so as not to over stimulate her. You can gradually turn the speed up as she approaches orgasm – but be aware that turning it up too fast or too high may be a problem for her. Some women will want full speed well before orgasm, others may never want more than half speed. You can push your hand, and the vibrator, slightly into her and hold, or push and release repeatedly. You can also move your hand very slightly up and down (parallel to her labia), or left and right, or in a small circle.
See what she reacts to. Be aware of her body movements, especially any thrusting or other movement of the pelvis. If she has a rhythm going, figure out how to work with it. The movements will likely intensify and speed up as she approaches orgasm, so stay very aware of her body.
You have to figure out what to do as and after she climaxes. Cut back stimulation too soon and you will rob her of the full potential of her orgasm. A small percentage of women get hypersensitive the way most men do – if she is one of these you will need to back off before or as she finishes. Back off by turning the speed down, then off, rather than breaking contact with her body. Be sure to lie still and hold her after she climaxes.
If she can have and wants multiple orgasms, you will need to learn how to make the transition from one to the next. Most likely she will want a reduction of stimulation as she finished each orgasm. If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn – let her guide you by telling you what she needs.
If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn. You can also sit or lie between her legs to pleasure her. This gives you two hands to work with, better access … and a nice view. Some lubricant is good here, either hers or from a tube. Apply the lube to her clitoris and the surrounding area. Hold the vibrator between thumb and forefinger, or with thumb and two fingers like a fat pencil, so you can use the tip on her. Your other hand can be used to better expose her vulva, or later to add some penetration. The clitoris is very sensitive, so don’t start there – start with the outer edge of the outer labia and work in slowly. Again, you want to start with a low speed and increase as she becomes more aroused.
Each woman varies – some will be able to take or will want direct stimulation of the clitoris, others will not. MissBitch
The aroused vulva is like a full motion water bed, any vibrations applied to any part will be felt through out. Experiment with her outer labia, her inner labia, and the clitoris. Try up and down strokes and circles of varying size. Try moving down with a firm stroke and up with a light stroke, then try the reverse. If she is too sensitive to take direct stimulation of the clitoris you can do this to one side. Try an upside down “U” – up one side, over the top, and down the other side – then reverse. When she is well aroused, try adding some penetration. Most women have stronger orgasms if the PC muscles have something to “grab,” and for some women the difference is significant. Start with one finger, try two or three is she seems to enjoy it. You can try thrusting, but don’t get carried away, your fingers are a lot harder, and have less give, than your penis, and you can easily leave her sore. You can also put in one or two fingers palm up (or insert palm down and then turn your hand over) so that your finger tips are on her G-spot. A “come hither” motion will then stimulate the G-spot. If you do this before she is well aroused it will just cause her to feel a need to urinate – if you get her good and aroused and then start gradually you should be able to avoid this. Some women will go wild for this, some will not even feel it, and most will get a slight boost in enjoyment and orgasm out of it. Again, watch for her rhythm and work with it. Be aware of how she responds during climax, and reduce stimulation as needed. When she is done lay beside her and hug … or make love to her.
Tips:
Prostate massagers
Some vibrators are better suited for prostate than others. Some prefer the use of massager’s for Prostrate Milking. Vibrators that aren’t too big, and have a gentle curve tend to work well. Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use MissBonnie and MissBitch’s mantra lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.
Be patient.
Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation. Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. We talked about slowing down, there is no rush. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance. all good things take time. Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You may be pleasantly surprised by the results.
Take your batteries out.
A good tip is Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in the vibe may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments.
take it from an experienced user, vibes have the annoying habit of switching one when you least expect it. MissBonnie
Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case destroying your vibrator.
Anal vibrator safety.
Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.
How long will the batteries last in my vibrator?
Depending on the vibrator device and what kind of batteries you’re using, you could get anywhere from 50 hours of use to just 10 hours. Smaller devices with smaller motors drain less current. Larger vibrators or ones with multiple moving parts will drain batteries more quickly. If you have a high-drain vibrator that you use frequently, it might be worthwhile to invest in some rechargeable batteries.
They don’t hold a charge as long as disposable batteries, but you also won’t have to spend five bucks every time they’re used up. MissBonnie
You can extend the life of your vibrator’s batteries by removing them from the toy when it is not in use and storing them separately.
How long can a vibrator be used before throwing it away?
A vibrator’s durability depends on its quality, type, and what it’s made of. A vibrator’s lifespan can be anywhere from a few months to several years. In general, don’t keep an inexpensive plastic or rubber vibrator for more than 3 years. More expensive electrical vibrators can be used until they quit working. If a vibrator is in good running condition and the material is durable, there’s no reason to discard it until it stops working. However, inexpensive vibrators have a limited lifespan due to the quality of the case and the components. In cheap vibrators, the wiring frays, the motors jam; in some cases the outside is actually the most durable part of the device. More than likely, your vibrator will give up the ghost before it becomes a hazard to anyone. Nevertheless, at a certain point, you may want to retire your mechanical buddy either for safety or aesthetic reasons. Inexpensive vibrators, if they last that long, should not be used for more than a few years. Longer than that, and the casing material is going to be getting gummy and worn out if it’s made of rubber, jelly, or Cyberskin. Plastic vibrators can get brittle, and, especially if they have been knocked around a bit, they’re subject to cracking.
Higher-end electrical vibrators, like the Hitachi Magic Wand, can last several years depending on how much you use them. The only reason to discard an electrical vibrator is if the motor develops problems, i.e., if it starts overheating, sounding funny, or smelling odd. If you use rubber or silicone attachments with your electrical vibrator, you may want to replace them after a few years if you use them frequently or if they show signs of age.
How should I store my vibrators?
Keep it in a secure, dry location where it will not be moved around a lot. Under the bed in a shoe box is usually a safe bet. Take the batteries out when you store it. You want to keep your toys clean and safe, so don’t just chuck your vibrator under the bed with the dust bunnies, where the dog might find it and mistake it for a chewy toy. Keep them in a closed container. A shoe box is fine. Wrap them in a clean t-shirt or pillow case. Put the box in a spot where it won’t be moved around a lot, under the bed, in a nightstand drawer or closet. It’s always a good idea to take the batteries out of your vibrator when storing it for two reasons: it prolongs the life of the batteries, and it eliminates the risk that the vibrator may get accidentally switched on.
My vibrator isn’t giving me an orgasm any more. What’s wrong?
There could be a couple of reasons for this. The vibrator or the batteries in it may be wearing out, so it is less effective. Alternately, you may be getting “desensitized” to the sensation of that particular vibrator. Some people find they need to switch to a different vibrator at a certain point. Also, other psychological or physiological factors may be affecting your sexual responsiveness.
If you’re not responding to your vibrator anymore, first make sure that the vibrator is working correctly. Are the vibrations still as strong? If not, the motor may be wearing out, or the batteries may be wearing out. Test it out with some fresh batteries and see if that doesn’t put the buzz back in it. It may be time for a replacement. If there’s nothing wrong with the vibrator, your sexual responsiveness may have changed. Some people report “vibrator burnout,” feeling like they become “immune” to their vibrators. Your body may simply become used to the sensations that your vibrator supplies, and they are no longer as stimulating, or you may just be bored with your vibrator. Try shopping for a new model, and find something that really excites you or provides a totally different form of stimulation. If you’ve been using a Hitachi Magic Wand, try getting a vibrating dildo or vice versa.
Try experimenting.
Some vibrator users also report a temporary decrease in sensitivity in their genitals after prolonged vibrator use. You may need to take a vacation from your vibrator and go back to manual stimulation for a while. After taking a break and coming back to it, your vibrator may seem fresh again.
Finally, there may be physical or psychological factors that are affecting your sexual response. Some medications, especially antidepressants, have sexual side effects that make it difficult to reach orgasm. Stress, depression, fatigue, and overworking can also make it hard to get turned on or to climax. If this is a persistent problem, talk to your doctor.
Many, many thank yous to Cle-Andria for her help with images, allowing us to destroy her shop shelves in the name of kink, and her wealth of information.
Related Articles: P spot Milking – Locating and Milking the male P spot (includes Video) Figging – The art of Ginger root play first anal toy – I want to buy my first toy, but what ? Strap on Harness – How to use and find the perfect Harness/strapon. lube – what lube for what occasion? Anal beads – Ok, I have anal beads, what now, how do I use Anal beads? Toys with cunnilingus the introduction of sex toys in cunnilingus
Reposted from ReginaMirus blog cira 2008 Per special request, for Mistress Cruella. I promised I’d do this, now I’m delivering! I don’t profess to be the guru of p-spot stimulation, but I’d like to think that I’ve been pretty successful with it, so here’s what it is that I do.
Key elements of a successful prostate massage:
1.He absolutely MUST BE relaxed. If he’s wired, anxious about anything (like performance), or he’s just fearful it’s gonna hurt, then it’s just not going to work.
2.If he’s completely brand new to anal, it’s usually a good idea to let him work on getting the anus open with a smallish butt plug and plenty of lube, on his own time. That way, he can feel the trajectory, know what it feels like when it slides in, etc. And working on his own, at his own pace, he’ll have the confidence when the time comes that he can endure that little bit of pain it takes to open him up (if there is any, at all). Better yet, have him practice wearing it, and have it in when you’re ready to start.
3.I’d also highly recommend before any anal play to administer an enema, or have him do one himself and evacuate prior to the session. There’s nothing worse then sticking a finger or two in there and coming back with a “door prize” . For this, I like to use a “dry” enema, by inserting about 4 tbsp of lube in the anus, wait about 20 min or until the urge hits him, then let him evacuate. All clean, no fuss, no muss, and no nasty surprises .
The best position for him for p-spot massage I think is on all fours, ass up, shoulders down. I may also give him a pillow or two to tuck in under his tummy, so he feels a little more comfortable.
I like to talk to him throughout the entire process, but especially while I’m first poking and prodding around down there. I usually tell him what I’m going to do, and then start introducing my finger in the area. Lube at this point is an absolute MUST, and the more lube, the better. I read somewhere that with all anal play, just when you get to the point that you think you’re using too much lube, that’s the point where you ALMOST have enough .
Gently slide past the outer ring, and feel for the inner ring, which is the sensitive part that usually makes them uncomfortable. If he gets to that point, let him know you’re backing out, slowly back out, then try again, or just stop moving until he gathers his bearings and feels ok again (and he will). Once you are past the inner ring, you’re going to feel downwards for a small little organ about the diameter of a walnut. If you have him on all fours, it’s going to be directly past the inner ring and straight down. It’s sits directly on the other side of the anal cavity, but you can definitely feel the edges of this delightful little organ through the anal wall.
And this is the funny part. Once you start applying pressure, he’s going to feel the overwhelming urge to pee. And it happens every time, like clockwork. That’s because you’re applying direct pressure on the prostate, which presses into the bladder. I let them make the attempt to pee, but it’s usually pretty fruitless .
At this point, it’s best to take your time and literally feel out your man and that amazing little internal button of his. Some guys like a circular motion all around the perimeter, some like pressure more on one side than the other, some like firm pressure right in the middle. It usually takes a little more time (I’ve found it usually takes about 10 min or so), but eventually he’s going to get AMAZINGLY turn on, and that wonderful clear fluid will start to drip, then eventually start running like a faucet. The key here is his reaction. Find that magical little spot that drives him wild and work the living fuck out of it. Keep checking his cock, comment on his “flow” from time to time (and how much of a mess he’s making of himself!). The important key here is take your time. You can manipulate him to cum at this point without touching his penis, or you can jerk him off with the other hand to give him a fairly overwhelming orgasm with ejaculation. Or play a delightful little game of tease and denial by edging and tormenting him for as long as you desire. Either way, I can assure you that a good time will definitely be had by all .
MissBonnie Comment: Quote: I don’t profess to be the guru of p-spot stimulation I don’t know, this reads pretty ‘spot’ on to me Thanks again for sharing.
for the dry enema for any one wanting to try it …I use a medical syringe (no needle of course ) less messy I can draw it straight from the bottle of lube. I use about two tablespoons which is 10 cc’s on the syringe measure so Regina’s way would be 20 cc’s (so you may need to load the syringe twice as most go to 10cc). ‘The ‘movement’ will be produced in a compact body, rather than in the more copious liquid form produced by a wet enema; and since no water is used, none will be retained higher up in the colon, to be expelled at a later, and possibly inconvenient, time I’m with Regina “door prize” not good.
Ok, I have anal beads, what now, how do I use Anal beads? Anal beads are a sex toy consisting of multiple balls attached in series. Individual balls are continuously inserted through the anus into the rectum and then removed with varying speeds depending on the desired effect. The main use of anal beads are for sexual stimulation.
When it comes to buying your first anal plug, it’s important to consider the size that is right for you. The size of the plug can greatly impact your comfort and overall experience. Here are some factors to keep in mind
A strap-on harness is a versatile sex toy that allows individuals to engage in strap-on play. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced user Here we provide some steps to help you use a strap-on harness. How to find the perfect fit for you. What materials you should consider and what system or attachment. Remember, practice makes perfect when it comes to using a strap-on harness. Take your time, explore different positions, and enjoy the experience with your partner. when you engaging in strap-on play, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about their desires, boundaries, and consent. Mutual communication and consent are essential for a pleasurable experience.
lube what lube for what occasion? there is ALWAYS time for lube!
Anal play For various reasons anal play or sex – yes, there is a difference -appeals to many people who are into the many forms of erotic power exchange, and Femdom/ BDSM. Although personal motivations may vary, the need for the submissive to actively cooperate as well as the fact that many people have a mental barrier here are the most common factors for this subject’s popularity. Anal play is certainly not without risks, so you should be very aware of what you are doing. When you understand and know how to minimize them, the risks are minimal.
P spot Milking – Locating and Milking the male P spot (includes Video
This is sometimes practiced in association with BDSM, and can be thought of as a more extreme version of orgasm control, which ends in climax. The subject may either be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal) or denied one. An alternative form of erotic sexual denial is the total denial of all genital stimulation. To ensure a total denial of stimulation a couple may use a chastity device that physically prevents touch and/or full erection.
Short-term denial practices Tease and denial
Tease and denial describes a situation where a person’s genitals are stimulated until he/she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or “edge” of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end. If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm,” as opposed to being a “denied orgasm,” (sometimes known as “blue balls”). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction (“blocked orgasm”). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.
Tie and tease
To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situation involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.
Non-orgasmic ejaculation
As an alternative technique, it is said to be possible for a man to be trained to ejaculate, but to do so without achieving orgasm. This technique requires practice and discipline on the man’s part. One key to the technique is to remove all stimulation of the penis at the exact moment when an orgasm would otherwise be achieved; the result is a full expulsion of semen but without the concomitant relief. According to websites on the subject, this technique enables a man to be kept in a state of denial indefinitely, yet maintains prostate health more thoroughly than the alternative technique of prostate milking.
Total denial
The practice of total sexual denial is where a person is prevented from enjoying any sexually stimulation by way of touch to the genitals. This may involve the person being made to wear a device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. The person may or may not be brought to arousal through other means, depending on the situation.
Long term denial
Frequency of masturbation is determined by many factors, e.g., one’s resistance to sexual tension, hormone levels influencing sexual arousal, sexual habits, peer influences, health and one’s attitude to masturbation formed by culture. Medical causes have also been associated with masturbation.
Different studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans. Alfred Kinsey’s studies have shown that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan. Similar results have been found in British national probability survey. It was found that 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives. 73% of men and 37% of women reported masturbating in the four weeks before their interview, while 53% of men and 18% of women reported masturbating in previous seven days
It is widely believed that abstaining from orgasm via masturbation or sexual activities will induce a sleeping orgasm. However the frequency of one’s nocturnal emissions has not been conclusively linked to frequency of masturbation. Widely-known sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found “There may be some correlation between the frequencies of masturbation and the frequencies of nocturnal dreams. In general the males who have the highest frequencies of nocturnal emissions may have somewhat lower rates of masturbation. Some of these males credit the frequent emissions to the fact that they do not masturbate; but it is just as likely that the reverse relationship is true, namely, that they do not masturbate because they have frequent emissions.”For women the correlation is also short of conclusive; “According to Kinsey’s findings, women who suddenly lost the opportunity for several coital orgasms per week had only a few more orgasms in their sleep per year.”
Subjects can be kept in denial indefinitely (periods around 2 to 4 weeks each time are often quoted as being safe subject to proper skincare and regular checking). Many, however, suggest that this is very subjective, and often informally suggest a shorter period such as 3 days or a week between release instead — especially when starting.
Beyond that, the long term consequences for denial are unclear, although there are negative effects implied by a recent Australian study which found that frequent masturbation may help prevent prostate cancer in men.
Most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously reabsorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed fully and regularly, if not through orgasm then via internal prostatic massage (known as “prostatic milking”) to reduce the risk of prostate cancer and inflammation, muscular atrophy, (orgasm involves the prostate muscles) or tissue damage to the prostate. It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods the skin of the penis becomes less elastic which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future.
Normally, during sexual arousal, ejaculatory fluid accumulates in the male accessory sex glands – the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands (or Cowper’s gland) – backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.
Without orgasm, prostate milking may be used to help flush out the buildup of toxins which accumulate within the prostate gland. This can be done by allowing ejaculation without orgasm. As most men need penile stimulation to reach the latter, this milking can be done without risk of orgasm.
Ruined orgasm
A ruined orgasm is a technique usually used by a woman (the stimulator) who is dominating a man (the stimulated) during the sexual practice of orgasm denial. The object of orgasm denial is to deny the male an orgasm over a long period of time or to allow him to orgasm but make it unsatisfactory, awkward or even painful to experience therefore asserting the dominant position of the female in the sexual relationship.
This technique allows the physical release of sexual climax while denying or minimizing the satisfaction and pleasure associated with orgasm. With men, the man is stimulated to the moment that ejaculation is inevitable. Stimulation is then stopped by breaking all physical contact with the genitals the moment orgasm begins (i.e. past the “edge”). Alternatively, the stimulator may bring up decidedly non-erotic or nonsexual topics during the orgasm, inflicting non-erotic pain, or stimulating the submissive with an unpleasant smell.
Another technique is to interfere with the ejaculation by some sort of constriction. Ruined orgasms expanded to include such methods as Thumbing, Palming, Dictating, Thwacking and several more unpleasant ways for an ejaculation to be disrupted or “ruined”. Many of these methods are merely disruptive physical actions that come after psychological or emotional trickery has taken place on the part of the dominant female. Deception can play a key role in the effectiveness of a ruined orgasm. When performed on a man, this practice allows the release of seminal fluid and physical sexual release, but keeps the man in a state of arousal because the orgasm is never psychologically “actualized”. Because stimulation is not continued through the orgasm, that man is left still in a state of want, which allows continued stimulation after a very brief period, unlike after the actualized or completed orgasm which may require a considerably longer refractory period.
Erotic denial as a form of control
Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.
Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant males and females to exercise control and training over a highly intimate and psychologically significant part of their partners’ lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation, and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. This technique gives the dominant partner enjoyable feelings of control and power.
Orgasm denial as a means of control is widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The dominant will often deny the sissy (the submissive male) sexual release in order to maintain a heightened state or sexual arousal, or as a means to further emasculate and humiliate the submissive.
CBT: Cock and ball torture (CBT) or some times called genitorture
Table of Contents
Ideas Hints and Tips
Cock and ball torture (CBT) or some times called genitorture is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball busting, genital flogging, genital bondage, urethral play, electrical play, tickle torture, or even kicking. It may equally consist of the use of cock harnesses, testicle cuffs, parachutes, prolonged stimulation (teasing), metal cages, cock rings, English cages, not necessarily leading to orgasm. Erotic electrostimulation may be used in CBT. The use of ball bags, ball stretchers, various kinds of chastity devices and the humbler can also be regarded as forms of CBT.
A ball lock may be used for prolonged entrapment, providing an interesting predicament associated with not knowing when padlock will be unfastened, releasing the testicles.
The recipient of said activity receives emotional pleasure via pleasing another. There is also a high level of excitement associated with another focusing so much careful attention on that particularly intimate part of one’s anatomy. There may also be social associations regarding controlling said part of the body.
The one enacting the activity benefits by enjoying providing such pleasure to the recipient and having that control. Masochists derive pleasure strictly from the level of pain that torture of their genitals provides them. Sadists also derive pleasure not from the recipient’s enjoyment of the practice but rather from the pain they cause the recipient to experience.
Genitorture 20 way to torture a penis
I’m always asked by new emerging Dominas on ways to play with CBT or ideas that I’d willing to share I adore CBT and so does MissBitch. I thought putting our evil dominant heads together we might be able to come up with a few basics. All of these should be able to be done with no damage to the penis or testicles.
These are some of the techniques that we use
A Penis Puppet
One of my personal favorite forms of cock and ball bondage is what we call a “Penis Puppet”. To do this, you will need about a 3 ft length of cotton rope or string.
1. Wrap the rope around both his cock and his balls, tying it once in a simple overhand knot beneath his balls, keeping an equal length of rope on both sides.
2. Bring the rope back up around his balls, typing it on top of the testicles.
3. Wrap the rope up around the base of his cock, tying it on the upper side, then around his cock again, tying it on the underside.
4. You essentially repeat step # 3, wrapping it and tying it, back and forth around his cock, moving a bit higher each time until the last knot is just under the head of his cock.
You should have some rope left over and can use it to tug his cock back and forth and make it “dance”. Or, you can take the end of the lacing an tie it to the chain between nipple clamps or whatever else might be handy to attach it to.
One further idea on this one would be to tie a length of rope around the slave’s waist and then pull the rope from the puppet up between his legs, between his buttocks, and then tying it off to the rope at his waist.
Clothes pins, clothes pins, clothes pins:
You would be amazed at how many of these little buggers you can get on a penis and a set of testis. One thing to note is that the less skin you capture within the clothespins, the more painful it is going to be. Larger amounts of skin in the clamps will be, in turn, less painful. Also, clothespins hurt much worse coming off than they do going on, and the longer you leave them on, the more severe the pain will be when you take them off. The first few times you ‘pin’ a particular slave, you may want to limit the time he wears them to 10 minutes to start, then adjust your time from there. If you man happens to be uncut, you can also amuse yourself by pulling the foreskin up over the head of his cock and then clothes pinning it together. 🙂
Make a ball separator with rope:
1. Take a length of soft cotton rope and, grasping one of his balls, wrap the rope several times around it the skin, forcing the actual testicle downward.
2. Repeat step #1 on the remaining testicle.
3. Wrap the rope around both testicles, at the very top of the sac and tie it off.
4. Apply spearmint or peppermint oil to the penis or scrotum. Cinnamon oil can also be used, but be aware that it tends to be pretty hot. Ben gay and Icy Hot are another alternative, but they can also be rather severe, so try diluting them with a bit of lotion before you apply it to the skin.
Rattan rascals:
Take three narrow, flexible rods. Short, rattan canes work particularly well. Center one of the rods just under the scrotum, the second above them, and the third on top of and at the very base of the penis. Secure the ends of all three rods together with rubber bands.
Wax:
Hot wax can also be a fun way to play. Be sure when you buy your candles that they are made of plain, cheap, paraffin wax. Avoid beeswax at all costs! (Beeswax heats to temperatures in excess of 300 degrees and can cause some pretty severe burns!) You can control the heat of the wax by the distance you hold the candle away from the flesh. Scents and colors can also add to the heat of the melted wax, so be sure to test the temperature on yourself before applying scented or colored wax to your slave. If you are feeling really brave, you can also buy bulk paraffin wax (available at most grocery stores). Melt the wax in a crock pot, or by placing chunks of it in a glass jar and then placing it in a painful of water on the stove and heat it slowly. MAKE SURE THE WAX HAS COOLED BEFORE APPLYING IT. Test it on your own skin. One idea to do with melted bulk wax is to ‘paint’ the wax on his cock, using a soft, clean paintbrush.
Ice Escapades:
Ice can be just as effective as hot wax. Rub it all over his cock and balls. Place an ice pack on it for several minutes.
Still need more ideas
Try a combination of #6 and #7. First applying heat, then cold, and then heat again, and so on.
A Penis Press :
What you will need:
A drill
Two pieces of clear lexan glass (bullet proof glass, similar to plexi glass, but much less likely to splinter.) about 1/4“ thick and cut to 12” x 8“.
Two pairs of thumb cuffs.
Four bolts.
ok now lets put it together:
a. Drill a hole, midway down the “short side” of each side of one of the pieces of Lexan. Attach a thumb cuff through each of these two holes.
b. Align the Lexan sheets and drill a hole into all four corners, as you see in the picture diagram. Insert bolts through these holes
. Part 2. Putting it to use:
Attach his thumbs to the thumb cuffs, so that he is supporting the Lexan. Place his (preferably flaccid) penis between the two sheets of glass and tighten down the bolts.Not only does it make an interesting sight (the Lexan glass is clear, and you would be amazed at how much you can flatten a man’s penis!!!) but it also makes a handy tray on which to place your drink, an ashtray, or whatever toys you are going to use to torture his balls.
Making do:
When I (MissBitch) first moved to Melbourne , I didn’t have room in my apartment for any big toys such as a St. Andrews cross so, here is what I did to provide a similar effect with an added bonus for cbt that a standard cross does not have: In a large walk in closet, I had four eyebolts attached to one of the walls.. two up high and two down low, to attach wrists and ankles to. In addition, there was a 5th eyebolt, centered, on the floor, between the two lower eyebolts.
The idea is to bind the submissive, spread eagle, on the wall, then, for instance, use the ball separating method shown above (#3) and slip an additional rope around the bondage and then tie it to the eyebolt on the floor. A parachute also worked nicely for this, just run a length of rope through the O ring on the parachute and then down through the eyebolt in the floor. The effect is similar to adding weights or “ball stretching”.
Stocking bind:
Bind your slave’s balls with rope or maybe a stocking… either wrap it several times, or pull on the rope so that his testicles are forced down to the bottom of the sac and are taut, then take a wooden spoon and begin lightly tap-tap-tapping on them. You don’t have to tap very hard, either. Soon the tapping will move beyond being just a slight annoyance to gradually become rather painful.
Rub a dub scrub:
Scrub it with a toothbrush, or other brushed brush. Test on the inner side of your wrist first after all you do want him to some skin left and some bristles can be nasty.
Titanic:
Insert a cube of ice into the end of a condom, then put the condom on his cock.
Fancy fingers:
Scrape the surface of his cock with your fingernails. The erect penis is far more sensitive than a flacid one, so this, like many forms of cbt, are best done when the cock is erect. The head of the cock is a particularly sensitive area for this sort of play. Squeeze his balls firmly and twist the sac in your hand.
Slap and Tickle:
Slap the sides of his “naughty little cock” back and forth with your hand. NOTE: You should avoid slapping or whipping the underside of his cock to avoid any potential damage to the urethra.
Winter wonder:
For some winter fun, you can make a funnel out of some stiff cardboard around his cock and balls. Wrap a rubber band around the base, or tape it together, then fill the funnel with snow!
Water weights:
Fill a couple of 20 oz soda bottles with water. Wrap his balls tightly with rope (or just use a parachute), then tie the bottles to the rope. You can also half fill a couple of balloons, tie them together and use these for weights as well.
Bite his cock. 🙂
Hard or soft, also try after hot or cold drinks for added sensations.
Shoe shine:
With his cock erect, take a silk scarf or stocking and wrap it around his cock and “shine” it, kind of like shining a shoe, pulling the scarf quickly back and forth. This produces, from what I understand, a very intense sensation!
The art of ginger root play was written a few years ago by Master Michael aka Propane7@aol.com and appeared on many a BDSM site. Although it primarily aimed at Female submission the information transfers over to male submissives very well. I think it is worth repeating here for whose that have not seen it.
When I first wrote an article on figging some years ago, I received, not surprisingly, a heap of e-mail from lifestylers who had never heard of this. They were most appreciative to have received the information though, and many were anxious to try the technique. I thought that with a new crop (no pun intended) of Doms and subbies entering our community, I would rewrite the article. If you’re already familiar with figging, you may skip to the next informative article on the list. If figging sounds like an old Scottish sport, you’d better stick around and read on.
Figging, anal play (or torture) using ginger root, seems to be an art that is increasingly ignored. Maybe it’s because there isn’t enough information passed on about it or perhaps with the advent of fancy salves, chemicals and potions that can mimic ginger, lifestylers don’t want to take the time needed to prepare for this activity. Either reason precludes a pleasurable and memorable experience. While there is still controversy as to the origins and reasons to figging, it is fairly well agreed upon that it dates back to the Victorian era. Mentions of figging can be found in some Victorian literature. Back in those days, the Victorians were a fairly bawdy, perverted, kinky bunch behind closed doors (ya gotta love them). Caning, a very popular form of punishment, especially for the female miscreant, was elevated to an art form itself.
There is evidence that figging actually had its beginnings when ginger was used in a caning victim’s anus to prevent her from clenching her buttocks during punishment. While I’ll expand on this later, clenching one’s butt while it hosts ginger causes an intense burning sensation. Now why the Victorians didn’t want to see the victim clench her rear is beyond me. I mean, that is one of the best parts and furthermore oh, yeah, figging. Sorry about that. Somehow, the practice was picked up as a technique unto itself in the lifestyle. I have practiced figging for many years and have turned many subs onto it. While it is a fairly easy technique to master, some care is necessary and proper preparation is required.
So, let’s delve into the world of ginger (or Gilligan and Mary Ann). Ginger, in its natural state, is sold as a “hand”. For you non-gourmets, it’s called a hand because it somewhat resembles one. The protuberances from the hand are called, yes Martha, fingers. Unfortunately, many supermarkets now precut the hand into fingers and package them as a convenience. What’s the matter with them! Don’t they realize they are making it difficult for us Doms to torture our subbies butts??!! I mean really sorry again. Stay away from the precut stuff unless you’ve had enough experience to safely play with small fingers. Celeste, no wise cracks here!! Find a place that sells a hand. If the supermarket doesn’t have any, visit any oriental grocery store.Buy the largest hand you can find and scurry it home. Keep the entire hand in a cool dry place until you are ready to use it. The sooner you use it, however, the better the effect unless you age it properly which I’ll get to later. When play time rolls around, I usually like to have my sub bound, face down on the bed over a pillow. No blindfold here. I make it a point of allowing her to watch and hear me prepare the ginger. The anticipation is spectacular especially if she’s never experienced it before. The gyrations generated from the anticipation alone are well worth the experience. Now you are ready to cut a finger of ginger from the hand. Unless the fingers are very long, do not cut the finger off at the joint of the hand. Remove the finger by cutting down into the palm of the hand so that you get a long, uniform width finger. I like to use a finger no smaller than 4 inches. Longer is better. Take a paring knife or vegetable peeler and remove the brown skin. Make sure all the skin is off as well as insuring that all the bumps and knots are cut off and smoothed as well. Try not to remove too much meat underneath, as you want to retain as full a finger as possible. Take your time and don’t rush this step. As you work, rinse it under cold water periodically to help wash away pieces of skin. Ginger is fibrous and sometimes takes a little time to prepare properly.
If you’re into oriental cooking, you’ll love the delicate ginger aroma that is released as you do this step. The smell is a great stimulus for the sub as well. It heralds things to cum (yes, pun intended lol). After you have the skinned root all smooth and nice, you now have to perform the tricky bit. With the paring knife, about two-thirds of the way down the root, carefully carve a concavity around the finger. This will act as a retention device. Similar to a butt plug where the sphincter locks around the tapered portion of the plug, the concavity will do the same thing. Make the ring no more than a half inch wide. Remember; do not taper the finger all the way down to the end. You want full circumference of the finger two-thirds of the way down, a half-inch retention ring and then full circumference continuing down to the end of the finger. Do not carve out too much however, as this will weaken the finger and increase the possibility of breaking it while in the sub. You don’t need a very deep ring for retention.
After you have carefully completed this step, rinse the finger off and dip it in cold water. Make sure the tip of the finger is sufficiently rounded. You can always touch this area up with a knife or peeler. Now it’s ready to insert. Unlike your own finger, you do not use lube with a ginger finger. Lubricant acts as a sealant and prevents the ginger moisture from doing its thing. Instead, use the cold water to keep the finger wet. Slowly insert the finger into the sub’s anus. DON’T RUSH HERE. TAKE YOUR TIME. Wet ginger is slick enough to slide in with care. When the anus finally opens and accepts the ginger, slide it in up the ring and let the sub close around it. The beauty of ginger is that it takes a little while for the effect to take place. Once it begins, it builds steadily. While you are waiting for the fun to begin, go wash off your hands. You don’t want to touch your eyes or your sub’s eyes by accident with ginger on your hands. Now sit down in a comfy chair and enjoy the show. Most submissives will become rather vocal as the ginger works its magic.
Depending on the fortitude of the sub, the potency of the ginger and how much of a mindfuck you prologue with, the reactions will vary. A few subs have reported that the ginger doesn’t do any more than, let’s say, Ben Gay, however, they are far and few between. Most subs report that the effects were far greater than they imagined. Different strokes for different folks. To increase the effect, pinch your sub’s buttocks together and hold them for a minute or two. This causes a big boost in burning sensation and if done every so often, keeps your sub awake. The effects of the ginger will last approximately twenty minutes or so, after which, the effects diminish rapidly. The nice thing about ginger is no matter how intense the effect on the sub, you won’t hurt her/him and it is short-lived. Once the sensation ceases, remove the ginger and go about your other session business. Ginger also has a property that puts it far ahead of any ginger wannabe substance. The juice of the root has the ability to cause incredible horniness. I have had subs begin to sob, begging to have something inserted into their pussies and to have orgasm. The reaction is tenfold if the ginger juice comes in contact with the clit. Cut a small slice of ginger, making sure it has one flat side. Place this side directly onto the clit and hold it there. Depending on anatomy, some women will be able to retain the slice on their clit without assistance. Apply ginger to the clit while the ginger butt plug is in place and watch the fun. I have experienced some of the most stunning results with subbies using this technique. I don’t have a perfect scientific explanation as to why ginger causes such an aphrodisiac effect but suffice to say it works.
Being an equal opportunity lifestyler, I don’t want to forget the male sub and his Domme. Ginger is dynamite for CBT. Cut a julienne slice of peeled ginger. It should be approximately 1/8-1/4 inch wide by at least 1 inch long. Make sure it is smooth and that the edges are rounded. Use the paring knife “gingerly” for this task. Make sure your sub is tied down face up. Dip the ginger in water and slowly insert it into the urethra of the cock. Make sure you leave enough sticking out to be able to remove it easily. The effect of ginger in a cock is almost immediate and the sub will react quite vigorously. The burning is incredibly intense. If it become too much for your sub, remove the ginger and give him a minute’s rest. When the ginger is removed, the burning sensation drops dramatically. You can place it back down the cock to resume the fun. Eventually, the sensation will wear off but not until the sub is spent.
Now for a little technique that will “turbocharge” your ginger. Using your ginger soon after you buy it will assure potency. Storing ginger, unprotected, for long periods of time will rob it of its “zip”. However, if you have any ginger fingers left after playtime, place it in a sealed, plastic bag and place it in the veggie bin in the refrigerator. Now, like the aging of fine wine, forget about it for a while. After a few days, check the ginger. If things are going well, the inside of the bag should have moisture on it. If a little mold has formed on the ginger, it’s time for play. If not, put it back in the bin for another day or two and check it daily until mold forms. The mold is harmless and does not penetrate the tough, fibrous skin of the root. Peel and prepare the ginger as before and play as usual. But look out! The juice of the ginger has increased dramatically in potency. If you think you had a good time when the ginger was new, wait till you play now! Any unused ginger should be discarded at this point.
Two words of caution. First, if your sub is allergic to ginger (I haven’t run into one yet), don’t play with it. You can ignite an allergic skin reaction. Not good. Second, if by some chance the ginger breaks off in your sub’s butt and you can’t retrieve it, don’t bother with emergency rooms. They will only cause you a hassle. Instead, just throw your sub into the wok with some chicken and enjoy.
Ok, I have anal beads, what now, how do I use Anal beads? Anal beads are a sex toy consisting of multiple balls attached in series. Individual balls are continuously inserted through the anus into the rectum and then removed with varying speeds depending on the desired effect. The main use of anal beads are for sexual stimulation.
When it comes to buying your first anal plug, it’s important to consider the size that is right for you. The size of the plug can greatly impact your comfort and overall experience. Here are some factors to keep in mind
A strap-on harness is a versatile sex toy that allows individuals to engage in strap-on play. Whether you’re a beginner or an experienced user Here we provide some steps to help you use a strap-on harness. How to find the perfect fit for you. What materials you should consider and what system or attachment. Remember, practice makes perfect when it comes to using a strap-on harness. Take your time, explore different positions, and enjoy the experience with your partner. when you engaging in strap-on play, have an open and honest conversation with your partner about their desires, boundaries, and consent. Mutual communication and consent are essential for a pleasurable experience.
lube what lube for what occasion? there is ALWAYS time for lube!
Anal play For various reasons anal play or sex – yes, there is a difference -appeals to many people who are into the many forms of erotic power exchange, and Femdom/ BDSM. Although personal motivations may vary, the need for the submissive to actively cooperate as well as the fact that many people have a mental barrier here are the most common factors for this subject’s popularity. Anal play is certainly not without risks, so you should be very aware of what you are doing. When you understand and know how to minimize them, the risks are minimal.
P spot Milking – Locating and Milking the male P spot (includes Video
Key elements of a successful prostate massage I don’t profess to be the guru of p-spot stimulation, but I’d like to think that I’ve been pretty successful with it, so here’s what it is that I do.
Many people tend to forget the basics about fire safety when they do fireplay, probably because of the illusion of control we Doms have while we scene…I don’t know about the rest of you out there, but when I am scening, I’m so into control, that I believe nothing can go wrong, ’cause I’m godlike…and nothing is farther from the truth, unfortunately. I’ve known about at least 2 fires that started ’cause of a fireplay scene gone wrong, and about one sub who got 3rd degree burns ’cause of a dumb mistake. (and no, none of those was with me involved 🙂
So…for starters, we need to remember that we have to have the basic firefighting equipment ready…a fire extinguisher or, at the very least, a good couple of buckets of water; sand is also very good at firefighting.
We should also remember not to have any flammable objects near the area were we are playing with fire…be smart enough and don’t try to do fireplay with the subbie tied to the bed, k? Unless you want barbecued subbie, that is 🙂 Mosquito netting is also a hazard in this kind of scene…it burns fast, sticks to other objects (including skin) and it’s very hard to put out the fire on it once it’s started.
Also, make sure that if you are gonna tie your subbie down, you have a pair of surgical scissors (the kind with blunt tips but sharp as knifes) handy, to cut her loose in case you need to…subs are worth more than rope, no matter how expensive the rope is 🙂 I don’t recommend locks being mixed with fireplay, it takes a long time to get the damn things off when you are in a hurry; so, if you like bondage mixed with your fireplay, please only use ropes and keep the scissors handy!
Now, one more thing people tend to forget when doing fireplay….hair doesn’t only smell bad when it burns…it burns FAST as hell…so…be careful with the hair…pull it up and out of the way, cover it with a wet bathcap or something like that, and make sure that whatever you use to start up your fire doesn’t get too near her neck.
Another important thing some of us forget is about the kind of chemicals we use to make the fire. I found once a sub who’s skin was sensitive to something in the alcohol I normally use for fireplay, and she had an ugly rash for a week :/ So, be careful with the stuff you use for your fireplay, make sure you know what allergies your sub has before applying any chemical to her skin that has the potential of triggering an allergy.
The important part of fireplay safety is to always remember that fire IS a very dangerous foe, and if it gets out of your control, it’s better to call the fire station and have to explain what happened than dieing in a charcoal house…this is specially important in places where houses are mostly made out of wood, like in the US…houses burn down fast
Caution: May I please add that the bottom shouldn’t be wearing any body lotions either as they are somewhat flammable and/or cause the skin to get a lot hotter than other non-lotioned areas. Also,deep arch’s in the lower back, above the sacrum, pool liquids (which any other time is quite nice) but in the case of fire play could become a safety issue if allowed to become a reservoir of the liquid used to ignite regards MissBonnie.
This article is only to be used for suggestions and your own resource, use at your own risk.
Fire play is an advanced and inherently dangerous activity that should under no circumstances be attempted without significant precaution and expertise. Readers should be aware that the information provided in this guide is for educational purposes only and does not qualify as a substitute for professional training or experience. Fire play should always be conducted by individuals possessing substantial knowledge and experience to mitigate the associated risks.
Engaging in fire play carries serious safety concerns, including the potential for severe burns, accidental fires, and other injuries. Even minor negligence can result in catastrophic consequences. Therefore, it is imperative to highlight that fire play should not be attempted merely on the basis of reading guides or viewing media; practical instruction and supervision from an experienced practitioner are necessary to ensure a safer environment.
Before delving into any fire play activities, ensure that the surrounding area is safe and free from flammable materials. Always have fire extinguishing tools readily accessible, such as a fire extinguisher, fire blanket, or water source. Both participants must have a thorough understanding of fire safety protocols and a clear plan for emergency situations.
It is also essential to establish clear communication and consent protocols between all parties involved. The psychological and physical boundaries of each participant must be respected, and everyone must be comfortable with the agreed-upon activities. Continuous monitoring and the ability to immediately cease the activity upon signal are crucial components of maintaining safety during fire play.
Lastly, by choosing to engage in fire play, the reader acknowledges their full responsibility for any outcomes or incidents that may arise. Proper preparation, education, and respect for the risks involved are non-negotiable aspects of safer fire play practices. Engage with utmost care and responsibility.
What is Fire Play?
Fire play is a form of sensation play widely practiced within the BDSM community, where controlled fire is used to produce a range of tactile experiences. Essentially, it entails briefly igniting the skin with a carefully managed flame, creating a momentary rush and a captivating sting. This activity can evoke a variety of emotions, from an exhilarating thrill to a soothing warmth, thrilling both novices and experienced practitioners alike.
The process of fire play starts with a critical and deliberate preparation. A partner, often the dominant or top, swabs the submissive’s skin with a 70% solution of isopropyl alcohol. The concentration must not exceed this percentage, as higher concentrations can introduce significant risks. Once adequately swabbed, the alcohol-coated area is swiftly set alight and just as quickly extinguished. The fluid nature of fire, combined with the brief exposure, ensures the skin is only subjected to the desired level of sensation without causing undue harm.
Participants in fire play often find the controlled, flickering flame and its immediate impact both exhilarating and deeply sensual. The sensation produced by the brief ignition and the controlled application of heat leads to a unique experience, typified by a delicate balance between pleasure and pain. For many, this balance is one of the key attractions of fire play, heightening their sensory awareness and deepening their emotional connection with their partner.
There are several basic terms and concepts critical to understanding fire play. The “Top” is the person administering the fire, while the “bottom” or “submissive” is the one experiencing the sensation. “Extinguishing” involves promptly dousing the flame, typically using a damp cloth or hand, to ensure safety and prevent burns. Familiarity with these foundational terms is essential for a safe and enjoyable fire play experience.
Safety First: Choosing the Play Area and Tools
When engaging in fire play, safety must be the top priority. The first step is to choose an appropriate play area that minimizes risk. Avoid locations that are inherently flammable, such as bedrooms where bedding and curtains can easily catch fire. Instead, opt for a space with non-flammable surfaces, like tiled or concrete floors, and ensure the area is well-ventilated to prevent smoke accumulation.
Next, it is crucial to assemble the right tools and equipment well in advance. Essential items include:
Steel bowl: This is used to hold any flammable liquid, like isopropyl alcohol, which is preferred for its quick evaporation rate, reducing the risk of prolonged burning.
Isopropyl alcohol: Choose a solution with around 70% concentration, as higher concentrations can be too volatile and lower ones might not ignite properly.
Surgical scissors and gauze squares: Surgical scissors are indispensable for quickly removing any clothing that might catch fire, while gauze squares are handy for immediate first aid response to minor burns.
Butane lighter or candles: Use a butane lighter for precise control over the flame. Candles can also be used but require careful handling to prevent wax burns.
Fire extinguisher: A fire extinguisher should be easily accessible. Familiarize yourself with its operation before beginning any fire play session.
First aid kit: Ensure it is stocked with burn gel, bandages, and other supplies necessary for treating burns.
Before starting, take a moment to scan the area and remove any potential flammable items, including loose fabrics, paper products, and electronic devices. Always establish a “safety zone” within the play area that both participants are aware of, ensuring no unexpected movements lead to accidental encounters with the flame. This preparation and mindfulness are key components in maintaining a safe and enjoyable fire play experience.
Preparation and Communication
The realm of fire play, while exhilarating, necessitates meticulous preparation and unambiguous communication. An imperative foundation for any fire play session is the establishment of a pre-agreed safeword. This safeword serves as an unequivocal signal for the submissive to halt the activity instantly if they feel overwhelmed or uncomfortable. Additionally, incorporating a safe signal—preferably a non-verbal gesture—ensures the submissive can communicate without relying solely on verbal cues, which may be challenging during certain activities.
When preparing for a fire play scene, the avoidance of handcuffs or slow-release bondage items is paramount. The use of such restraints can pose significant risks, as the ability to quickly release the submissive in case of an emergency is crucial. Opt for alternatives that guarantee a swift and secure release, ensuring the safety of all participants.
Prior to initiating the scene, the dominant partner must diligently ensure that all tools and materials are assembled and easily accessible. Fire play equipment, such as fire wands, torches, or fuels, should be thoroughly checked for safety and functionality beforehand. Attention to detail in this preparation phase cannot be overstated, as even minor oversights can lead to severe consequences.
Equally important is the removal of all flammable items from the immediate vicinity of the play area. This includes materials like curtains, paper, and even certain types of clothing. By creating a controlled and hazard-free environment, the risk of accidental fires is significantly minimized.
Effective communication throughout the fire play session is non-negotiable. Regular check-ins between the dominant and submissive maintain a constant awareness of the latter’s comfort and safety levels. This ongoing dialogue ensures that adjustments can be made promptly, mitigating any potential discomfort or danger.
In summary, thorough preparation and lucid communication form the bedrock of safe and enjoyable fire play. Establishing clear safewords and signals, avoiding restrictive bondage, ensuring the readiness of tools, and removing flammable materials collectively create an environment where trust and safety are paramount.
Selecting Appropriate Areas for Fire Play
When embarking on the journey of fire play, selecting the appropriate areas of the body is crucial to ensure safety and maximize the enjoyment of the experience. It is highly recommended that beginners limit fire play to hairless regions such as the back and upper shoulders. These areas are not only more accessible but also reduce the risk of accidental burns, making it easier to control the flame and the sensation it provides.
It is imperative to avoid areas with significant body hair. Hair is highly flammable and can lead to unintended injuries if not properly managed. Before starting any fire play session, inspect the chosen area to ensure it is free of hair, dirt, and any flammable substances such as lotions or oils. For participants with long hair, it is essential that it is securely tied up and, ideally, covered with a damp, flame-resistant cloth or cap to prevent any accidental ignitions.
Another consideration is ensuring the play space itself is clear of any flammable materials. This includes removing any nearby clothing, drapes, or decorations that might catch fire. Having a damp towel and a fire extinguisher within reach is also an important safety measure. A well-prepared environment helps create a safe and enjoyable experience for all participants.
Lastly, communication remains key throughout the process. Continuous check-ins with the submissive partner ensure comfort and consent are maintained at all times. If any discomfort or unexpected reactions occur, being prepared to extinguish the flame quickly and safely is paramount.
By paying meticulous attention to these safety guidelines, practitioners can enhance their fire play sessions, creating an experience that is both thrilling and secure for everyone involved.
Step-by-Step Fire Play Process
Fire play is a delicate practice that requires precision, awareness, and adherence to safety protocols. Below is a comprehensive guide outlining the essential steps to ensure a controlled and enjoyable experience.
First, ensure that the play area is free of flammable materials, and have safety equipment such as a fire extinguisher, a bucket of water, and a wet cloth readily available. Establish a clear line of communication with your partner and agree on non-verbal safety signals before starting.
Begin by swabbing the desired skin area with 70% isopropyl alcohol. Alcohol should be applied in a thin, even layer to prevent excess liquid from dripping, which can create uncontrollable flames. Using 70% isopropyl alcohol is essential as it ignites at a lower temperature compared to higher concentrations or other types of alcohol, thus reducing the risk of burns.
Utilize a long-necked lighter or a specialized fire wand to ignite the alcohol carefully. These tools allow for controlled application of flame, keeping your hand at a safe distance. If it’s your first time experiencing fire play, opt for small areas to gauge your sensitivity and tolerance.
As soon as the alcohol is ignited, monitor the flame closely. The alcohol will burn off relatively quickly, usually within a few seconds. Immediately extinguish the flame by applying a wet cloth to the area. This not only cools the skin but also soothes any residual heat, adding to the comfort of the submissive.
To heighten the sensations further, you can incorporate ice. After extinguishing the flame, gently glide an ice cube over the heated area. The contrasting temperatures create an intense, stimulating experience that many find exhilarating.
Throughout the entire process, continuous communication and observation are paramount. Ensure that any sensations experienced by the submissive are within their comfort zone. Stop immediately if any unexpected pain or discomfort occurs.
Proper technique and safety considerations ensure that fire play remains an exciting and controlled experience. By following these steps meticulously, practitioners can enjoy the thrilling dynamics of fire play responsibly.
Handling Emergencies
When engaging in fire play, the paramount priority is always safety. Despite meticulous preparation, emergencies can still occur, and it is crucial to be prepared for any eventuality. Proper handling of emergencies not only ensures the well-being of all participants but also maintains trust and confidence within the practice.
A fire extinguisher should be an indispensable part of any fire play session. Opt for a multi-purpose fire extinguisher that can handle different types of fires, such as those involving ordinary combustibles, flammable liquids, and electrical fires. Familiarize yourself with its operation beforehand, including the PASS technique: Pull the pin, Aim the nozzle, Squeeze the handle, and Sweep from side to side. Position the fire extinguisher in a readily accessible location, ensuring all participants know where it is and how to use it.
In addition to a fire extinguisher, a well-stocked first aid kit is essential. This kit should contain items specific to treating burns, such as sterile gauze, burn ointment, and pain relief spray. Immediate treatment of minor burns involves cooling the affected area with cool running water for at least ten minutes, which helps to reduce pain and prevent further damage to the skin. Follow this with applying a sterile dressing to protect the burn. If blisters form or if the burn covers a significant area, seeking professional medical advice is advised.
Efficient and safe extinguishing of fires also depends on maintaining a calm demeanor. Panicking can exacerbate the situation. Clear communication between all parties is vital. Establish a signal that indicates an emergency, and ensure everyone knows this signal. If a fire does break out, quickly assess the situation: if it’s manageable, proceed with the fire extinguisher; if not, evacuate the area and contact emergency services.
Ultimately, thorough preparation and the presence of essential safety tools are fundamental components of responsible fire play. By prioritizing safety and being ready to address any emergencies, participants can explore this intense form of play with confidence and care.
Relaxation and Trust
When delving into the realm of fire play, relaxation and trust emerge as vital components for a gratifying experience. This powerful form of play, where the element of fire is intimately involved, demands more than just physical preparation; it calls for a deep psychological readiness, rooted in trust and clear communication.
Firstly, it is imperative to participate in fire play solely with an individual who is highly experienced and skilled in this domain. The expertise of the dominator ensures not only the technical proficiency required for safe execution but also a comprehensive understanding of managing the play’s intensity and potential risks. Gauge their experience level through honest discussions and do not hesitate to ask for demonstrations or testimonials.
Mutual trust between the submissive and the dominator cannot be overemphasized. This trust encompasses a willingness to communicate openly about boundaries, expectations, and safe words, facilitating a secure environment wherein both parties feel confident and willing. A thorough conversation before the session about comfort levels and any prior concerns goes a long way in fortifying this trust. Furthermore, consistent check-ins during the experience can greatly enhance the feeling of safety and relaxation.
Another crucial aspect is the state of relaxation that the submissive must achieve for a fully immersive experience. The submissive should engage in relaxation techniques such as deep breathing exercises or mindfulness practices to calm the mind and body before the session begins. Partnered relaxation rituals, such as a calming pre-session discussion or meditation, can also help in settling any nerves, thus preparing the submissive for the intensity of the play.
Overall, the intertwining elements of relaxation and trust create the bedrock for a safe, enjoyable, and transformative journey into fire play. Each session is unique, requiring a foundation built on profound mutual respect, clear communication, and unwavering trust.
Let’s start with the most basic question; why would anyone WANT to have electricity applied to their body?
The answers to that question fall into two areas; psychological and physical. Electric play is often practiced in BDSM and Femdom activities.
Table of Contents
The psychological reaction
The psychological reaction to the thought of being part of an electrical circuit is usually quite strong. We are taught as toddlers not to play with electricity, that it is dangerous, and that it can hurt or even kill us. Most of us have at one time or another received an accidental electric shock, and since it usually involves a strong dose of “house current”, it tends to be unpleasant enough to re-enforce these warnings! Of course, the mention of the term “electric shock torture” brings to mind a variety of fascinating images ranging from Gestapo or KGB interrogation chambers to field interrogations using the ringer generator on a field telephone connected to someone’s “private parts”, or possibly the Sheriff or Troopers with their cattle prods. The number and variety of scenes that can be built around various electrical devices is almost limitless. I’ll discuss some of my own favorites later.
The Physical reaction
Physically, electricity can produce a complex variety of sensations, and every Sub who has thought about the subject has their own idea of what it “should” feel like. If your subject enjoys the psychological trip, setting up a scene with all of the trappings of a torture session and applying mild stimulation while letting the subject’s mind do the rest can result in a very intense experience. Of course, if you and your subject are into more intense pain, electricity can provide more pain than most subs can tolerate, without leaving marks, scars, or (if done carefully) damage. Aside from the pain and fear aspects, direct mild electrical stimulation of the genitals can, under some circumstances, produce intensely sensual sensations, even to the point of orgasm.
Before we get into specific electropleasure techniques, we should start with a couple of basic safety rules; NEVER set up contacts such that a current path can be completed through the heart or brain! The safest way to be certain of this is to avoid any contact above the lowest set of ribs. It IS possible to work safely on the back, shoulders, neck and arms and I make some references to it later, but unless you are certain of your equipment, your knowledge and skill, and your subject’s health, keep the contacts below the lowest set of ribs. Don’t tie your subject too tightly, allow some room for muscle contractions. It is possible to do some significant damage if you apply a strong shock to a tightly-tied limb. Also, make certain that your subject is bound or positioned such that a sudden movement won’t cause a fall, impact against a solid or sharp object, or other unintended injury.
Make certain that your electrodes make good contact. Poor contact will often cause burns. Electrical burns tend to be deep and slow to heal. They also tend to have more damage beneath the surface than is immediately obvious.
I strongly suggest that when you try a new setup, you test it on yourself to the extent possible. This will give you some insight as to what the sensations are and what constitutes a tolerable level of current.
This leads to a WARNING: NEVER EXPERIMENT WITH ELECTRICITY ON YOURSELF UNLESS YOU HAVE SOMEONE PRESENT WHO KNOWS HOW (AND WHEN) TO SHUT OFF THE CURRENT!
Know your equipment!
Always have a safewordAND a signal which can be used if your sub can’t speak. Make sure that you are always alert to it. Nonverbal safewording
Finally, LEARN CPR!!!!!!! It could make the difference between a bad fright and a fatality (with resulting homicide charge). Remember, however, that CPR is successful in only about 1 cardiac arrest in 3! If this scares you, GOOD! Playing with electricity (like mountain climbing, flying, scuba diving, and numerous other hobbies) is not inherently dangerous, but it is terribly unforgiving of carelessness!
TYPES OF ELECTRICITY
People who play with electricity have been arguing the safety risks of DC vs. AC for a long time, and I won’t get caught up in the arguement here. I am of the “AC is safer” school, and generally avoid DC for play. AC, particularly frequencies in the range 1,000 cycles per second to 10,000 cycles per second (1 KHz to 10 KHz), is less dangerous and, in my opinion, provides more interesting sensations. As for current, it doesn’t take much. Five to fifteen milliamperes (.015 amp, or about 1/1000th of the current that a normal wall-outlet will provide before blowing fuses!) is generally as much as most people want to feel.
Before we get into equipment for applying electric current, let’s look at the safest electrical appliance in the S&M world. Instead of continuous current, This device makes use of STATIC ELECTRICITY. We have all walked across the wool rug and touched a light switch or appliance, and felt the spark jump out to meet our hand. The voltages involved here are extremely high (frequently on the order of millions of volts!). However, length of time that it lasts is so short and current so low that the total amount of electricity flowing is minuscule. Think of it as popping a small balloon. You have a little bit of air under a lot of pressure. When it is suddenly released, the pressure causes a loud bang, but does little else. The result of this is a strong, biting shock that causes no damage and isn’t dangerous, but really gets your attention. Since making your sub shuffle around on a wool rug all day is somewhat boring, we have a device called a VIOLET WAND.
THE VIOLET WAND
This gadget uses a high-frequency circuit similar to a Tesla coil to build up a static charge in a gas-filled glass tube. If you hold the tube near your sub’s body, Each time the charge builds up enough to jump the gap, a spark jumps from the tube to your sub’s skin. Unlike shuffling across the rug, though, the Wand can spark many times a second. You can adjust the intensity and rate of sparks depending on your purpose. The nature of the body’s response to this type of charge is such that you can use the wand anywhere on the body except for the eyes. One of the best scenes I’ve seen with the wand involved a male sub who had never experienced it before. After the top made it clear that he was dissatisfied with the sub ‘s performance, that it was time for an exceptionally severe punishment, he was tied to a cross spread-eagled in a standing position. naked except for a leather cock and ball harness. He was gagged but not blindfolded. The only light in the room was a small blue nightlight. The Top brought out the Wand and selected a small straight tube. When it was switched on, the nightlight was eclipsed by the purple glow from the tube and a sputtering, crackling sound came from the power unit. With the tube a few inches from a metal wall plate the slave got to watch the bright, blue sparks jump from the tube to the plate for a few moments while the top made some adjustments to the power unit (which comes with simply an on-off switch and a power control, so a couple of knobs and dials were added to make it more sinister). The slave was left alone to contemplate the glowing tube for a few minutes.
When the top returned, the slave was sweating and seemed rather pale in the purple glow. After stroking his erect cock a few times (he was terrified, but loving every second), the top suddenly gripped his cock firmly in one hand and started bringing the wand slowly closer to the bead of cum on the very tip of his cock. When the tip of the wand was about 1/2“ from the tip of his cock, a stream of sparks began to jump the gap. His screams were audible around the gag as he began to writhe and strain against his bonds. The wand was pulled away before he could realize that it didn’t hurt nearly as much as he thought it did. He spent the next few minutes receiving brief zaps to random places, especially on the tip of his cock, the spot right at the base of the glans, his nipples, navel, and ear lobes. Each zap brought a renewed writhing, although the screams had dropped off to whimpers, and his cock was hard and his breathing heavy.
Finally tired of this game, the top began alternating tongue and wand on the end of his cock. Of course, the wetness from the top’s mouth made the zaps sting more, and the rapid changes between the caressing tongue and the sting of the wand left him not knowing what to expect next. Next, the top gripped the end of the wand tightly in one hand. You might expect this to be uncomfortable, but actually the charge at that point builds up without “motion” in both the wand and the holder’s body. This means that the top could reach out and draw sparks between a fingertip and the slave’s writhing body! Of course, the Top felt the sparks too, but the Top knew what to expect, and a finger is a lot less sensitive than the points on the slave’s body where the sparks were striking! This phase of his “torture” ended by being ungagged and kissed, drawing sparks between probing tongues. The top finished the evening by switching the small tube on the wand for a flat disk about 1” in diameter, which he used to apply a shower of sparks to the sensitive (and recently shaved) area between the back of the slave’s balls and his anus, while sucking him to climax.
CAUTION: Note that at no point did the top insert the tube into any body orifice. Remember that the tube is GLASS! Inserting it into the anus (or vagina, in the case of a female submissive) would be hazardous, and since there is very little sensation when there is no air gap between the tube and the body, it really isn’t worth it. It IS possible to obtain a piece of metal tubing slightly larger than the glass tube and place it over the end of the glass tube. This metal tip can then be inserted as seems appropriate (keeping in mind sharp edges, and all of the other rules that apply when you stick things into places where they weren’t designed to go).
Although this particular exercise involved a male subject, I have also seen the same general techniques on females with similar success. In that case, excellent targets include the clitoris and surrounding area, as well as along the moist inner edges of her cunt lips. One particularly interesting variation involves a piece of plastic pipe, about 3/4“ outside diameter and 3” long, with all edges chamfered and smoothed. Insert the end of the pipe slightly into her cunt, then, using the wand with the metal extension described above, insert it into the tube. Experiment with varying amounts of penetration for both the tubing and the wand. The same technique would work for anal penetration, and would provide a very intense reaction on a male subject if concentrated on his prostate.
By now you’re probably curious as to where to get one of these toys, and why they sell them in the first place. Actually, they were originally sold as “cure-alls” and were the center of many charitans’ “medical” practice. Currently, they are sold mainly as a curiosity. The unit that I have is called the “Master High Frequency Unit”. They are sold through beauty supply houses as a skin stimulator or some such, so that’s one possible source. They are also available from a company called The Stockroom www.stockroom.com
The units that I have came with three different tubes. If you should get one, the best bet is to simply play with it to see what tubes produce the most interesting effect on what body parts, although the above should give you a few ideas. The model that The Stockroom carries is available with an attachment consisting of a metal beaded chain, which can be used as a very interesting electric whip. I haven’t tried it, but it sounds quite neat, and I’d like to hear from someone who has used it.
If you are interested in applying current as opposed to static jolts, the selection of a power supply requires some care. Although I built my first unit back when I was in high school, I strongly advise against the do-it-yourself route unless you are particularly skilled in electronics (in retrospect, I consider myself lucky that none of my early designs ever landed anyone in a hospital or worse!). I’ve seen frequent references to “TENS” (Trancutaneous Electro-Neural Stimulation) units, which is the medical term for a device frequently used by chiropractors and other medical professionals. These are powerful units, and are quite capable of causing serious injury or death. They are also generally sold only to medical practitioners, and are very expensive. They are, however, quite well made and are very safe if properly used. You will sometimes find them for sale in the “Health Equipment” classifieds for under $200.
If you don’t happen to have a chiropractor who will order a TENS unit for you and instruct you in its safe use, I’d suggest buying one of the Electro-Muscle Stimulation (EMS) exercisers that you see advertised in any of the bodybuilding magazines These are less costly (and usually less powerful and elaborate) versions of the TENS units, and are intended to provide the effects of exercise by forcing muscle contractions electrically. I’ll leave the question of whether they help build impressive biceps to others, but as electro-pleasure and electro-torture devices, they are excellent. They provide from 2 to a dozen separate circuits, each with adjustable current. Depending on the unit, you may also be able to vary frequency, waveform, and surge characteristics for each circuit. The units are powered by batteries, which eliminates any worry about a ground loop or component failure placing the full resources of your local power company in contact with a sensitive portion of your partner’s anatomy. Also, the individual circuits are isolated from each other, so you don’t have to worry about current flowing between electrodes of two different circuits and setting up a path that you hadn’t planned on.
The Stockroom also sells a couple of different types of power supplies for the purpose. I’ve also seen a small 2-circuit EMS unit advertised recently on Home Shopping Club and one in the “Damark” bargain catalogue.
Exactly what path you want the current to take through your subject’s body and how you connect the current is dependent on what effect you are looking to obtain. The smaller the electrode, the more strongly the current will be felt as a tingling or stinging at the electrode site. Therefore, with a small electrode, the sensation at the contact point is likely to reach your subject’s tolerance limit before much is felt in the area between the contacts. A large electrode will produce little sensation at the contact point, and more in the area between contacts. Bearing in mind that we NEVER select a current path through the chest or head, let’s take a look at some paths and the types of electrodes suitable for connecting them.
The number of different types of electrodes that you can make or buy is limited only by the kinkyness of your imagination. Remember though that a poor electrode-to-skin contact can cause painful, slow-healing burns. Most people do not consider this enjoyable, so make sure that your electrodes make good contact, and adjust them if your subject complains of burning.
LEG TO LEG
This is a good “first try”. Because of the size and strength of the muscles, legs respond well to electroshock. Initially, the best way to connect to the legs is through ankle cuffs. Make up a “sandwich” consisting of a layer of plastic (i.e. a Baggie), a layer of metal window screen (copper, brass, or aluminum) to which you’ve attached a length of wire (a piece of Aluminum foil will work in a pinch, and a layer of gauze (such as first aid pads). Wet the gauze with a solution of 1 tbsp of salt in 1 qt of warm water. Wrap one around each ankle, and secure them tightly in place using your regular leather ankle restraints or an Ace bandage.
This makes an excellent contact and will provide minimal sensation at the contact point, so your subject can concentrate on the sensation in thigh and calf muscles. Unfortunately, this method doesn’t provide much sensation in the genital area (more sensation in women than men, though).
Of course, this technique would also work on wrist cuffs. You shouldn’t even consider applying current from wrist to wrist since this is a direct path through the heart and lungs. You CAN, however, wrap one cuff around the wrist and the other near the shoulder of the SAME ARM. If your power supply has multiple circuits, you can do this to both arms, provided the circuits are well isolated from each other. If you have a 3-circuit power supply, you can effectively “bind” your subject without ropes by setting up a circuit leg-to-leg and one on each arm, then increasing the current to the point where your subject can no longer move her/his limbs. This takes surprisingly little current, and an otherwise unbound subject struggling and straining to move his/her limbs against invisible bonds can be most erotic both to watch and experience.
It is also interesting to apply current between sections of the body which cannot be wrapped, such as the buttocks, lower back, and stomach. For this purpose, you can either use the conductive rubber electrodes sold for use with TENS or EMS units (they’re made of rubber with a high carbon content, making them conductive) or flat plastic-screen-gauze pads such as described above. These can, of course, be made in whatever shape and size you wish. I’ve also recently tried the anti-static plastic that computer boards come in with good results.
Application of current to the buttocks via large pad electrodes is an interesting sensation, with the tingling often extending into the genitals, and in any case being quite erotic.
If the scene that you are playing includes pain, it is probably best to concentrate the current with small electrodes. Applying enough current across a large area to be more than mildly painful entails a high risk of pulled muscles, torn ligaments, and the like. A short current path between two small electrodes can, on the other hand, produce a concentrated sensation variable from a mild tingling to intense pain at the turn of a knob. You can also concentrate the sensation even further by using one large electrode (on the buttocks or lower back, for example) and a small electrode at the point where you want concentrated pain. Small electrodes can be made by soldering a wire to a coin. For better contact, glue a piece of gauze or towel to the contact side of the coin and wet it with salt water.
Another interesting contact material is the copper tape sold as edging for stained glass. I haven’t had much opportunity to play with it, but it’s available in widths from 3/16“ to 3/8” and is quite conductive.
An interesting variation is connecting one side of a circuit to a large electrode on the lower back and taking a Q-Tip swab, wrapping a couple of turns of copper wire connected to the other side of the circuit around the shaft where it joins the cotton tip. You then can wet the swab with salt water and draw points and lines of tingling or pain on the legs, stomach, back, and genitals. Depending on the current level (this is a good one to try on yourself first) it can feel like a tiny vibrator or like you’re flaying the skin with a sharp knife (but leaving no damage, marks or sensation of cuts behind). This can be especially intense for a subject who is blindfolded and doesn’t know what’s happening – the sensation is quite outside most people’s frame of reference and they have no idea what you’re doing to them.
This is probably a good time to mention clip leads. If you want very concentrated sensation and your subject is into a lot of pain, alligator clips may be just the thing. Attached to the cunt lips (or cock or balls), a very small amount of current will produce exquisite agony. I recommend the smooth jaw clips since they are more comfortable, and allow the subject to concentrate on the sensation of the current. You can also take a clothespin and insert a thumbtack with a wire connected to it into each side of the clip. This produces a very concentrated sensation, and you can even use this on a nipple provided that the two tacks represent two leads of the same circuit, since the current will be flowing only through the nipple itself.
If your subject enjoys anal stimulation, you can take a butt plug of whatever size your subject enjoys (remember, smaller is better since we want to emphasize the current sensations) and wrap it with bare copper wire. You can get different sensations by wrapping different parts of the plug. On a male subject, if you wrap just the top 1/2“ or so, you can usually produce an ejaculation on demand by stimulating the muscles around the prostate gland. This is especially interesting because the resulting ejaculation is quite unsatisfying. It is possible to milk him dry this way while still leaving him horny and begging for an orgasm that just won’t happen. My favorite tools for this purpose resembles a latex finger about 6” long and slightly bent. I have wire-wrapped only the very end, which allow me to probe around to get the reaction I desire. I’ve recently seen a butt plug with electrical contacts already built in advertised in the Stockroom catalogue, but I haven’t had a chance to try one.
CAUTION: Anytime you use a wire as a contact, make the bare part at least twice as long as you need and fold it back on itself so that the cut end is not in contact with the body, and ESPECIALLY is not inserted into a body cavity! The cut end can do serious damage in places where the repair work is also likely to be unpleasant.
Applying current to the genitals is one of the most intense aspects of electrotorture, both psychologically and physically. Depending on the effect that you are trying to achieve, there are a variety of possible connection methods. Let’s consider the female first; As I mentioned above, a Q-tip wet with salt water and connected to one side of a circuit is excellent. You can tease the wet insides of her cunt lips and continue up to the sensitive area around the base of her clit, or even up to the tip of the clit itself. It really doesn’t matter where you connect the other side of the circuit, but it should be a fairly large contact to concentrate the sensation at the Q-Tip.
Many companies sell chrome or stainless steel dildos, which are excellent as a cunt contact. I even have a chrome (metal, not chromed plastic) vibrator, which provides an intense combination of sensations. If you can’t get a metal dildo or vibrator, the same wire-wrapping techniques used on the butt-plug works well. You may also want to try just wire-wrapping the end so that you can probe for the spot that gives the reaction that you want. A circuit connected from a dildo to a butt-plug produces intense sensation in the most sexually-responsive areas. If your power supply is capable of producing a surging current, it can feel almost like being fucked from both ends at once with the electrodes not even moving!
Also, if your subject enjoys more intense pain, a clamp (the chrome ones sold as nipple clamps work well) on each cunt lip can be excruciating (as, of course, can one on her clit with the other side of the circuit on a dildo). Since I mention nipple clamps, I again caution against connecting one side of a circuit to a nipple! One contact on each side of the SAME nipple forming a circuit is safe as long as those contacts are isolated from any other circuits.
A number of people that I know INSERT electrodes into the urethra (Male or Female). This should be done with the greatest of care (if at all). The wire to be inserted should be doubled back and soldered (preferably with lead-free solder) then the solder should be polished smooth. Remember that the slightest scratch inside the urethra is likely to result in an infection and may well require painful (and embarrassing) surgery. If you must try this, I’d recommend trying to obtain uretheral “sounds” (a probe designed for insertion into the urethra).
The male anatomy offers a diverse selection of options for connection to electrical circuits. For the balls, there are several possibilities; Do NOT wrap a wire around your subject’s balls! The dangers of this should be obvious.
You can use the same salt-water and gauze technique as above with whatever type of ball harness best shows off your subject’s equipment. Again, Ace bandage works well to hold the contacts and provides the additional advantage of a pleasant sensation of pressure.
If you can get them, the small adhesive pads used by Paramedics as contacts for electrocardiograms are perfect for the balls. You can set up an interesting sensation by connecting a circuit to one on the bottom of each ball. Shaving the balls first makes this easier, and can be an interesting scene on its own. If you can’t get the EKG electrodes, a penny covered with salt water wetted gauze works real well also.
For electro-masturbation, I prefer a ball contact placed in the space between the balls. Attaching copper tape the center strap of a leather ball-divider works quite well.
Good choices for a second contact for any circuit involving the cock and balls include a butt-plug, ankle cuffs, thigh cuffs, or flat electrodes on the buttocks or lower back. You can also use a metal cock ring of the type that fits behind the balls, but I find that they tend to burn, at least on me, unless the entire area is freshly shaved I’ve also had some good luck with the Parachute type ball-stretcher. Lined with wet gauze and weighted, it makes excellent contact and will handle an excruciating amount of current without burning.
For the cock, a metal (copper is best) cock ring with a wire soldered to it sized to be snug just behind the glans when the cock is erect works well. I heard just recently of someone who is uncut and places the ring such that he can pull the foreskin over it – he says the sensation is terrific. I’ve also seen an interesting unit based on the “7 gates of hell”, which consists of 7 cock rings of decreasing size held together by leather straps. They fit over the cock and become quite snug when the cock is erect. In his case, each side of the circuit is connected to alternating rings. Although none of these make the greatest contact, the amount of current that most men can tolerate through the outer portion of their cocks is well below the point where burning is a problem. . A copper cock ring at the BASE of the cock paired with a butt-plug also makes an excellent combination. If you make up several coin electrodes and glue each one to a strip of Velcro, you can wrap them in place just about anyplace on the cock. A hot-melt glue gun is an excellent tool when making electrodes, since you can also insulate connections with the glue. The LOW TEMP glue gun is also an interesting torture tool by itself. I haven’t tried gluing electrodes in place, but it could be interesting. I find personally that a dime electrode on the top of my cock just at the base of the glans, with the other side of the circuit a large contact on buttocks, thigh, or balls will produce an ejaculation without any other contact fairly quickly.
If you prefer less concentrated sensations, a bare wire laid along the cock lengthwise (see caution above about wire electrodes) and Ace-bandaged in place is excellent. You can use any of the options mentions above for the other side of the circuit, or you can lay one wire along the top and one along the bottom to make a circuit. Most men can take quite a bit of current in this orientation, so some salt water may help to insure a good connection. I should note that in most cases, current applied to any part of the cock will produce an immediate erection, sometimes painfully hard. There is also usually a level of current where ejaculation becomes impossible. I will leave the question of how to best take advantage of this situation to the mind of the reader. I should note that I’ve never had the opportunity to try or observe intercourse when the male is being held “electrically erect”, but the possibilities are interesting to say the least (again, reports of your experiences would be interesting and will be included in subsequent versions of this article).
A reader of a previous version of this document says that he has an Oster massager which has a metal heated surface, and using it as one side of a circuit provides an interesting combination of vibration, heat, and electricity when applied to any number of locations.
Of course, one of the most interesting aspects of electrotorture involves structuring the scene for maximum psychological impact. Consider the difference between slowly increasing the current to the point where the subject reaches their limit (NOTE – ALWAYS HAVE A SAFE-WORD WHEN PLAYING WITH ELECTRICITY!) and suddenly applying current (at the same level that you have previously tested with a slow buildup). In the latter case, the subject experiences a sensation of anticipation much like that of waiting for a whip to strike. Of course, there are any number of ways that you can arrange to have shocks applied at random intervals so that you can be doing something else entirely when the shock comes (for example, oral sex becomes so much more interesting when you know that at any time you may get a painful shock to your genitals). Since the Top doesn’t know exactly when the current is coming, (s)he can’t telegraph it, so the subject is totally unprepared.
Alternatively, you can place the shocks more or less under your subject’s “control”. For example, how long can your subject hold a push-up position before sinking down to the floor and pressing down on a switch? Or a missing-pulse circuit can be used so that your subject remains shock-free only as long as he/she can continue to do push-ups or pull-ups or work the stair exerciser or whatever at a rate of once every x seconds. This is a great way to get your subject in shape while you play!
Carrying this concept a bit further is a particularly nasty idea for your favorite male submissive: Place a reasonably large contact for one side of a circuit at most any point on the body (I personally prefer a butt plug). For the other contact, take an insulated wire, Strip about the last 1/4“ and put a ball of solder on the end to cover the sharp tip. Cover this with a layer of DRY gauze, and insert it into the very tip of a (non-lubricated) condom. Put the condom on your subject. No current will flow because the gauze insulates the electrode from his cock. Explain to the subject that you will let him come whenever he ASKS to. However, the sensation of orgasm will occur along with a significant current flow through his cock as his highly-conductive cum completes the circuit. Then tease him until his need to come overcomes his fear of the pain. It makes an interesting psychological trip (my favorite kind!) and watching your favorite hunk writhe while trying to decide whether to beg to come or beg not to is the type of sport in which I can indulge for hours at a time. Unfortunately, I haven’t yet come up with a comparable technique for a female subject!
NEEDLES
I’ve seen a couple of interesting scenes using electricity applied via needles inserted into the skin. If you try this, keep in mind all of the normal precautions in dealing with piercing, and also keep in mind that once you pierce the skin, the electrical resistance drops dramatically. It takes a very tiny amount of voltage to produce a large (for our purposes) current flow.
TUCKER TELEPHONE
This term was coined by inmates of a Georgia jail, where Warden Tucker used the ringer magneto of a field telephone to help teach those boys some respect. This comes under the heading of REAL PAIN if you use an unmodified magneto. The magnetos are available from many surplus stores, and consist of a crank geared to an armature which rotates within a group of permanent magnets. If you remove some of the magnets, you can tone down the shock level while keeping the psychological aspects. “Classic” use of this device involves connection between the balls and either the anus or ankles. Even with a couple of magnets removed, a few experiences with this toy will cause your sub to become very cooperative when you reach for the crank.
CATTLE PRODS
There are a variety of cattle prods available from both farming and S&M suppliers. These are self-contained battery powered rods with a pair of contacts on one end. Again, we’re talking about REAL PAIN here. As the name implies, these are intended to get a cow’s attention. You can tone most units down a bit by replacing one or more batteries with a piece of aluminum. Since the contacts are close together, you generally can’t get a really hazardous path unless you apply it to the chest or head, but the shock can be strong enough to tear muscles.
STUN GUNS – WARNING
Just about every magazine includes ads for so-called “stun guns” – very high voltage devices designed to incapacitate an attacker. I have not played with one of these for S&M purposes, but I’ve read a number of reports concerning serious injuries suffered by people on whom they were used by police or others. Many states have banned them, even for police use. The sparks and sound of one of these devices could be used in an interesting psych scene, but I would personally not actually apply it to my partner.
This article is only to be used for suggestions and your own resource, use at your own risk.
What is edge play edge play, and How does it fit into Femdom
BDSM unlike virtually any other lifestyle offers the potential to extend the experiences of the individual into new realms and areas that they have never had the opportunity to explore before. In the beginning everything is a challenge. From the action of merely speaking an honorific title such as Mistress/Master to learning the basic responses, positions and commands that you desire for them to utilize when with you. These basic foundations are crucial to building the type of relationship that grows, evolves and flourishes. But, at some point your submissive gets it! They conquer that phase of the learning process and your exchange together in ‘scene’ may be reaching a plateau.
You have spent considerable time in conversation with your submissive about ‘their perceived limits!’ I say it this way on purpose. In any relationship limits are guessed at. In a new sub they are to some extent completely unknown. A person cannot know what they like or dislike if they have never had any occasion to experience them. There are some absolutes – these (in general may be children and animals – scat is also Very often a firm taboo!) Beyond these absolute limits there is a huge playing field.
EDGE PLAY is the action of offering new challenges to the Edges of play you and your submissive are already familiar with.
Every physical challenge is equally mentally challenging as it is asking your submissive to reach beyond where they think they can . . . for you . . . for them! It may be as simple as progressing from one set of clamps to another . . . from spanking to the introduction of the crop. It may be as complex as sensory deprivation and trust play.
When is it time?
First it is crucial that you have a strong established trust! Second, you must have a pretty good working knowledge as to your sub’s mindset, their attitude, moods, desires. Explore things conversationally at first. Express thoughts about say (a photo you have seen and shared), a scene you saw in a movie or read about . . . see what makes your sub nervously excited. This is called ‘planting a seed’. It forewarns your sub of where you are thinking. It allows them to talk to you in advance and prepare mentally and fantasize! This is important when your relationship is fairly young. It is fragile. Trust is so very important that you cannot thrust something on them ‘in scene’ that they might consider a violation of their limits. Out of scene later such a transgression may destroy your relationship and all of your hopes and dreams . . .
To me, the peak of EDGE PLAY is within the mind itself.
It is to take the submissive further, to trust deeper, fly higher than they have ever believed possible. For each submissive the tools used to assist them are different, it is a truth that every one is different and unique. Discovering their personal triggers and using them is perhaps the greatest challenge and joy a dominant can experience!