Vibrators, Dildos, and Other Miscellany for Misbehaving
Rule One: Don’t knock sex toys until you’ve seen what they can do.
Rule Two: Always, always, always wash your sex toys.
VIBRATORS
let us start with the introductory vibrator, the kind you can any sex shops; it’s about four inches long and requires an AA battery Many women like to travel with these because they are discreet—and powerful. Sometimes they come with a penis-replica plastic sleeve, which makes it more of a dildo (which is a penis replica made of plastic or sometimes glass, while a vibrator contains batteries and, well, vibrates). Do not be afraid of this item. This is going to be a good friend of yours.
If your not sure on what vibe you need, why not check out our the beginner’s guide to vibrators
Never make a woman choose between her vibrating dildo and you. You may not like the choose she makes MissBitch
This device can be used to rocket oral sex into the next stratosphere. Gently insert it into the vaginal canal while you are licking and sucking the clitoris. As you establish a rhythm, feel free to begin rhythmically penetrating your woman with the vibrator. If you have the vibrator turned on, don’t pump up the volume just yet. Instead, use long and deep, penetrating strokes interspersed with short, rapid strokes, depending on your mutual mood.
Some women like having the vibrator inserted as far as it will go, motionless but turned on, during oral sex so that they are receiving dual stimulation but are not over stimulated. These climaxes can be overwhelming anyway and are deeply rewarding—she may tightly grab you at the moment of climax and urge you to press the vibrator even more deeply into her. Do not be afraid of the climax-clutch. It is simply an expression of your woman’s lasting excitement. When her climax is finished, she will probably push your face away and at this time you should gently, slowly remove the vibrator as well.
A related method involves inserting a very small vibrator in the anus. For the anally erotic gal, this is a real treat. A small vibrator can be slipped in during cunnilingus to excite and gratify. However, if you do not know the woman very well, or don’t know her feelings about anal penetration, make sure she okays the move first. You should never insert something into the anus as a “surprise” move. In order to insert anything into the anus, you need the conscious (but not overly, as in self-conscious) participation of your partner. You don’t have to stop licking and caressing her—just cover it in a water-based lubricant like K-Y jelly and make sure she knows that its coming by gently circling the anus and tapping against it before you slip the vibrator in. When you use the vibrator in the anus and your tongue and mouth on the clitoris, your woman will probably loose her cookies early on. But this is a fun alternative to the standard fare, and comes highly recommended. If you and your partner are ready for another variation, try using a second vibrator. One vibrator is gently inserted into the anus in the manner described above, while the other (usually larger) vibrator is inserted into the vagina. A pulsing sensation will occur all over the woman’s body when both vibrators are turned on and suddenly come into sync with each other. When the two vibrators, whose motors are not rotating at exactly the same speed, periodically drop into perfect phase with each other, the presence of you sucking and licking her clitoris becomes intensely pleasurable. This isn’t for everyday sex, but it is a wonderful way to spice things up and give her the kind of mind-blowing pleasure we all crave every once in awhile.
DILDOS
The only thing as remarkable as the long history of the dildo (quite possibly the oldest sex toy on earth) is the variety of shapes, sizes, textures, and colors this handy sex asset has assumed. Some of them are tapered enough to make them great for anal play, while others are curved for G-spot stimulation. But they can all add to your oral sex repertoire by keeping one sensitive area engaged while you’re busy with another. For G-spot stimulation, make sure you get something with a well-defined bulbous head, in addition to the traditional curved shape. Available in glass, metal, acrylic, silicone, jelly, cyberskin and a nearly limitless variety of other materials, dildos can range in style from the incredibly detailed and realistic to the fantastically abstract and unearthly—it’s all up to you and your woman. The important thing to remember is that, even if you might see fabric or leather or horsehair dildos available, the only truly safe ones are those that can be washed and disinfected like glass (with no chips), acrylic, metal-plated, and silicone. A particular and lovely trait of the glass dildo is that it can be placed under hot or cold running water for just a few minutes to contribute a new range of sensations to your partner. A great sidekick for a warm, lively little tongue.
Products in silicone, however, rightly deserve their reputation as goddess’s gift to sex toys. Silicone is smooth, non-sticky, and simultaneously resilient and soft. It absorbs body heat rapidly, so just rubbing it between your hands can make it something of a treat to gently insert into the orifice of your choice. Start playing with this stuff and you’ll both be late to work for a week. If you want to save some money, the products being made out of jelly aren’t bad. Some people even prefer jelly to silicone.
Although I can’t say I agree with the jelly one. The jelly starts to become opaque over time and also gets sticky just sitting around and eventually looks like an old lollipop collecting fibres, and with the new health warnings on jelly products, I personally don’t like to take chances MissBonnie
Like all sex toys, dildos should be washed after every use, but the jelly products in particular pick up bits of dust and hair floating around everyday, so you should give them a nice washing both before and after. The final note on jelly toys is that they will always smell like plastic—like when a “made in China” product is first taken out of its airtight wrapping. This smell never completely leaves the jelly sex toy. Though it lessens somewhat. So, if your nostrils don’t flare with pleasure at the idea, stick to silicone.
ANAL PROBES
And you thought you had to be abducted by aliens first! MissBitch
Anal probing feels much more pleasurable than it sounds (though, as with all acquired tastes, it starts to sound as good as it feels) and lots of time and energy have been spent creating products that maximize this pleasure.
A metal or acrylic dildo is fine for vaginal play, but something softer and more forgiving is required for the anus.
When selecting a probe, make sure you get something soft enough, and with a graduated shaft that will allow you to insert to the desired width. Also, make sure you get something with a nicely sized handle. You don’t want to lose your grip—and neither does your partner.
As indicated by its name, the probe is longer than other toys created for anal insertion and is a great way to find out exactly where your woman wants anal stimulation.
Be aware the probes require constant attention as they tend to shift more than plugs MissBonnie
ANAL PLUGS
Anal plugs are endlessly fun—so endless, in fact, that some people start wearing them all the time. (That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m one of them.)Missbitch
They come with a gorgeous array of decorations, using gemstones and different designs to give the butt a fashionable, naughty, or bejeweled look when inserted.
The most important thing to remember when selecting an anal plug—as with all anal toys—is the size.
A true beginner should start with something under seven ounces, no longer than two inches, and no wider than 11/4 inch at its widest point. If this is your first time, go for something nicely tapered for an easier entry, with a well-flared base so that it won’t slide too far in.MissBitch
If you plan to start wearing one all the time, just make sure yours has a very long, narrow (one inch or less) neck to keep it from falling out.
That might be rather difficult to explain at a morning meeting.MissBonnie
ANAL BEADS
I’ll wear my pearls Thank you MissBitch
Ever wonder how strands of beads became so popular?
Sadly, it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re such awesome sex toys.
This toy is a great introduction to anal play, and usually consists of beads graduated in size from a few eighths of an inch in diameter on up. We have wonderful article for use with male subs if you interested (Selecting a strand that ranges from three-eighths to one inch will provide a little something for everyone.) Also, make sure that the beads are made of a smooth material.
Metal beads are to be avoided, as is any material harder than your finger.
Insert the beads gently, one bead at a time, into your (forewarned) partner until you reach the bead that almost won’t go in. At the moment of orgasm (or whenever you feel the time is right), pull the beads out in one long, continuous motion by the ring or handle. Some people go wild over the insertion, but most find that the boon of the beads lies in their sudden extrication (which can heighten orgasms considerably).
A variant of the anal beads is an apparatus with a series of round, consecutively smaller spheres. This can be used similarly to an anal plug, but has some of the advantages of the beads. Also, as the beads commonly use nylon thread, this toy has the added benefit of being completely washable.
The most important ingredients when using sex toys, especially with anal toys, are lube and relaxation. MissBonnie
If you choose toys that are smooth in texture, and don’t fall for the “my eyes were bigger than my . . .” syndrome that hits all of us every once in a while, these toys will add hours—and perhaps a lifetime—of new pleasure to your repertoire. if your new to anal pleasures you might like to read our anal beginners articles. How to keep your toys clean consider using them with a condom, and use only water-based lube on or around them.
it would be a cause for celebration if we were born with the l and intuitive set of sexual skills that we all pretend we have. Without stating it outright, our culture—via our parents, the media, and our peers—implies that sex and sexual skills should come naturally, with all but the most advanced techniques being somehow instinctive.
You’d never expect someone to hit a perfect tennis serve without lessons and practice or to play a beautiful sonata on an instrument they’ve only touched a couple of times, yet somehow, most of us come to maturity with the expectation that sexual skills will magically develop in the presence of our naked lover, that this lover will likewise experience a spontaneous onset of spectacular proficiency, and that it will all unfurl as smoothly as a movie montage.
Where do real-life Don Juans get their savoir faire?
There’s only one way: practice, practice, practice. Some people try to pick up tips from their friends, but while you may have a friend or two with information to spare, you’re probably dealing with what literary critics calls an “unreliable narrator.”
I personally stopped trusting the sexual knowledge of my peers when they asked me if my cherry had been popped, but could not specify what this “cherry” was, nor exactly where it was located. LOL MissBonnie
**Real sex is awkward.** The fact is, if you expect great sex to come naturally, you’re in big trouble, and your partner is in even bigger trouble. Giving great oral sex is dependent upon being truly comfortable with the act, “in good times and in bad.” Real sex with live people is tricky—it smells, it squeaks, it gets stuck on some things and rams too quickly into others. People get injured physically (especially in the shower) and emotionally (especially in affairs), and on the whole, doing it probably causes about as many problems as pleasures. This doesn’t mean that you should stop, in fact most of us should be having more sex and oral sex rather than less. But it does indicate that we have a lot of false expectations surrounding sex, and these expectations take a lot of the fun out of sex without our even knowing it.
ACCEPTING THESE REALITIES WILL MAKE YOU A BETTER LOVER
Sexual Skill Doesn’t Come Naturally Sure, the impulse to have sex is “natural,” and the heat of passion is sure to lend a little on-the-spot inspiration, but sexual skill must be learned and practiced like anything else.
If girls are made of sugar and spice, why do they taste like tuna fish?
Genitals have a naturally pungent odor and taste. Some people love it, others don’t. But you’re in denial if you’re surprised by it. If this is a concern for you, just take a bath or shower with your partner, instead of trying to skirt oral sex, or pretending to be comfortable going down when you’re not. If you forge ahead anyway, your partner will sense your repressed discomfort, and the effort to conceal your true feelings will take the zest out of your performance. Barring a bath, be aware that a vagina will taste and smell very differently after it is stimulated enough to create the body’s natural lubricants, which have an additively delicious flavor. A little foreplay and hand action can change the menu entirely.
A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Orgasm
What’s the matter? Labia got yer tongue?
Whether it’s that funny slurping noise, a penis that veers to the right like it’s catching a curve ball, or a pubic hair in your eye, unexpected things are bound to happen during sex and oral. Who can say what they will be? One woman I know started laughing while her guy was coming in her mouth, and it ended up dribbling out of her nose. Things like this are a natural part of an active sex life, so you might as well expect them and make sure to bring your sense of humor with you to the bedroom. Taking sex too seriously is a sure passion-killer.
Genitals Look Funny
Believe it or not, the overall quality of oral sex is still being compromised by people’s shame and fear of genitalia. The people giving oral sex are afraid to stare too much, because they don’t want to make their partner feel uncomfortable, while their partner can barely even relax and enjoy themselves because they’re so freaked out by someone sniffing around down there. Shocking as it is, this is occurring in the twenty-first century, and it’s compromising the quality of oral sex. To overcome any vestiges of genital-fear, take a moment with your partner to really look at her genitals as suggested in eating pussy 101.
Tell her why you want to do it, and make sure that she feels comfortable with it first. Then look—really look—at all the different parts, and acknowledge that these are what you have to work with. This exercise is worth it: an anatomically complete understanding of your partner’s genitals will assure your subconscious that there is nothing “bad” or “dirty” or “scary” lurking in there anywhere.
“”That was great. Really, it was . . .”
Most likely, no one’s told you the truth about your sexual and cunnilingus skills. The fact is, women fake orgasms pretty regularly, and it’s a rare lover who openly communicates what they do or don’t like, because they’re trying to be nice. But withholding feedback is extremely counterproductive with regards to sex and Femdom practices. The way people communicate about sex isn’t even worthy of the term “miscommunication,” because not only does withholding feedback send the wrong information (that you like something you don’t or dislike something you do like), it actively obstructs future communication about sex, and blocks the Femdom path to fulfillment. We’re lucky consultants can’t be called into the bedroom, because most people would be fired. The result? Very few men and women have been given enough feedback to develop a repertoire that works. And it’s a damned shame. Since they haven’t built up the strength and precision of their lips and tongue through a history of feedback and EXERCISES TO INCREASE HER ORAL PLEASURE refinement,
they develop a repertoire based on second-rate skills that every sexual partner is subjected to. As a loving pet-owner thinks their cat or dog is absolutely unique, everyone—and I mean everyone—thinks they have great sexual skills. Meanwhile, most people report more than a few instances of less-than-satisfying sex every year.
You do the math.
You don’t have to pass out a Comments and Suggestions card afterward, but you do need to elicit your partner’s feedback. A whispered “Do you like that?” during oral sex will produce more honest feedback than a “Was that good for you?” after she’s already decided that she just wants to be friends.
It’s Not Just About the Orgasm
You don’t have to make your partner come to have great oral sex. Great oral lovers are not orgasm-making machines, and if you treat oral sex this way you’re not going to enjoy it—and neither will your partner. Aside from straining yourself, your orgasm fixation will actually distract you from any subtle signs or signals given by your lover. You don’t have to frantically chase orgasms through the thickets of your lover’s genitals. The orgasm will come to you. Straining and stressing about how long it’s taking your partner to come wards off a real orgasm like a snake scares a mare, so it’s better to just let go of this expectation and enjoy yourself. Experiment and play~ “the light touch,” as it’s sometimes called—will inevitably create more pleasure for your partner than strain or stress. People who perform poorly at oral sex are usually hung up on one or all of these basic issues.
Resource Article: tomcat (Edited: in conjunction with MissBonnie and MissBitch )for the beginners guide to oral sex (c) CollarNuffs.com
Though we’ll go into more advanced positions later, one of the most comfortable may be for your woman to lie across the bed, her legs hanging to the floor. Kneel on the floor (maybe with a towel or pillow under your knees to maximize comfort) and bring her hips to where you have good access to the full vagina. In this way, you can provide her with a wide range of sensation, and your flexibility of movement will keep you comfortable and creative without the tension on your back and neck muscles that would result from attempting the same feats flat on the bed. Once you’ve developed your oral skills so that you are not easily thrown off by the positioning of your body, it is time to experiment with other position
Flapping Legs
This position is essentially the basic comfortable position recommended in the first part of this section, only the person giving oral sex is further up on the bed. This creates a little more strain in the back and neck muscles, but it’s worth the trouble because the angling of the woman’s legs will create better access to the clitoris and deeper penetration possibilities. The woman’s legs are bent, with her feet resting on her lover’s shoulders. Her pelvis is curved much more upward than in the first position, and one leg may even be resting down her partner’s back. To create more access as needed, you can edge your shoulders upward and press her thighs back further. This is a great position for incorporating a little vibrator or anal play . As she approaches climax, she will alternately press down on your shoulders with the pads of her feet and flap them in the air. This position provides great access for upward strokes, and you can angle your arms a little under her body for support.
Captured Tortoise
For superior access (but less flapping), try Captured Tortoise. In this, the woman holds her legs to her chest, providing you with total access. This is a great position if your woman is into penetration—combining a vibrator or dildo with your oral stimulation is a godsend here. Be careful, because as she gets excited her body may twist and, because she is holding her legs to her chest, she may flip over. Stabilize her by helping her hold one leg with your arm (but not too hard).
The Pleasure Plank
Some people like the sensation of having their legs together during oral sex. This position can be a great teaser when you are initially working your way down. Holding her just above the hips with your hands and straddling her closed, extended legs, come at her clitoris from the top of her vagina. Some women have a hypersensitive clit, and this position gives them painless pleasure by buffering the vibrations from your tongue. Of course, if you’ve done the exercises in our previous articles, you should be able to give feathery strokes of infinite lightness, but otherwise this position can be a fun way to pick up some of the slack or to tease her as a prelude to something more.
The 6
Another slack picker-upper is the 6. This is essentially a 69 position with you on top, but your body is off to the side and she is just relaxing. Coming at her from above, this position is a relief for your head and neck muscles, and is great for a woman who loves a downward stroke. However, if you use the position we initially recommended, where you are on the floor and she is on the bed, and you have relaxed your neck, throat, and head muscles, you will never experience a need for this position except perhaps as a way to change things up.
The Yoga payoff
Lying on her back, let your partner use her feet and legs to hoist herself up your kneeling body. Her weight should be resting on her shoulders, not her neck. From this angle, you can get a great view during oral sex—and this is a particularly nice position if your woman has a fabulous pair of breasts. Have fun watching her experience all of the erotic sensations she’s feeling as you go to town on her clitoris. Don’t bother with oral penetration or G-spot stimulation from this position. The combination of clit-nuzzling and the breast caresses you can give are the main attraction. Make sure to give your lady plenty of support in this one.
Positions for watching porno
If your lady is turned on by visual stimuli, allow her the pleasure of multiple flicks. Some heterosexual women like all-female porn, while others like hetero and even all-male porn. Never judge a partner based on the kind of porn they like. It doesn’t necessarily mean anything about their actual sexual preferences. However, you should never watch anything that makes you uncomfortable. Remember that videos are supposed to be fun and are meant to stimulate the imagination. So hold the gavel for now.
Sofa Porno
The most comfortable porno position is probably the Sofa. Have her sit on one arm of the sofa facing the screen, spreading her knees wide and edging herself forward to the edge of the cushion. Her arms on the back of the cushion will be an important source of stability in this position. You can sit on the sofa in a doggie-style position, resting on your knees and elbows. Arching your back will add to her visuals. She may grab your head or hair with one hand and press you more deeply into her. This is a natural response to this position, and if it makes you uncomfortable, feel free to simply nudge her hand away. If she strokes your head and hair however, the presence of her hand here can be quite delightful.
Armchair Porno
This position is for the hard-core porn—loving woman or Dominant. You’ll want to bring a pillow along for your knees. Have her sit in a chair with her buttocks supported by enough pillows to angle her hips upward, and make sure she is close enough to the edge of the chair for you to get access to the key players. Sitting on the floor or on your knees (this depends on the height of the chair), you can use your tongue to stimulate her clit and your hands for simultaneous penetration. Because there is little physical contact between your bodies, you may want to heighten the tease of this position by kissing her all over her legs and thighs while the porno is beginning, and circling the prey a little until she’s positively drooling for you.
Think out side of the box
There are too many positions to include them all especially if you throw in anal play, but these basic ingredients should give you enough elements to begin mixing it up on your own.
Remember that the only bad oral sex is boring oral sex, and as long as you stay out of the shower the likelihood of bodily injury is fairly low 😉
Recently I was talking with a fellow Domme who was telling me of her newest pleasure . A submissive who whom has oral skills that have blown her away, so much so she has nicked him super mouth.
So what transformed this mere mortal into an oral superman? Have you guessed yet? Of all things, Super mouth was trained as a speech therapist. As a few many know my middle child has speech problems and has been involved in speech therapy (with me) for a number of years. Of course! all the mouth exercises will help you gain a new mastery over your lips and tongue, why didn’t it ever dawn on me before of the possible uses when combined with a Femdom training and a twist. I returned to my speech pathologist with new interest in other uses for the topic at hand. So now I see you can’t judge a field of study by its un-erotic exterior *grin*.
based on the premise that oral sex can—and should be outrageously fantastic every time. The poor quality of much oral sex being performed today can be baffling at first, but it becomes more understandable when one considers the factors involved. There are a plethora of psychological and social reasons that the tongue tickle hasn’t been cultivated as a talent, but more often than not, a fatally simple want of skill and knowledge is to blame. This guide addresses both situations, but is mostly devoted to the latter,
When you engage in oral sex, you’re taking the most delicate, vulnerable part of your lover’s body—their genitals—and placing them between the most potentially vicious, animalistic part of yours—your teeth. The teeth are situated in the mouth to gnash, process food, and ward off harm. It’s a wonderfully human quirk that we use this part of our body to give pleasure. Ironically, this distinctively human trait has been characterized by previous generations as dirty and uncivilized, so it’s little wonder so many women new to Femdom have trouble saying just what they like in oral sex. I’ve found through research with the New Dominants I teach; Them doing things to your body is easy, allowing themselves to ask for what they want, is the hardest of all the Femdom practices. Sometimes a submissive might need a little coaching in this department. But there is no need to fret, you can teach yourself the skills of oral mastery..or should that be Mistressry? Either way it’s not going to be a mystery 😉
I don’t need to argue here about the importance of great sex to the health of a romantic relationship. We’ve all seen TV shows and movies that portray sex and passion as uber-racy, with bodies writhing in satin sheets under perfectly dimmed lighting, as if little elves had benevolently prepped the room for a one-two-three orgasm. But if sex and romance are overvalued, oral sex is all too frequently undervalued in the media and culture at large. Still occasionally stigmatized as “dirtier” than straight-up sex, the power of oral sex for sustaining and deepening a romantic relationship often gets overlooked. Sharing pleasure, as in intercourse, and giving pleasure have very different effects on a relationship, simply because they have very different effects on your partner. Being able to give pleasure to your partner, unselfishly and lovingly, can be very important and plays a different role in your interpersonal dynamic. Oral sex is special in that it makes the other person feel cared for, tended to, and looked after. If actions speak louder than words, oral sex is like speaking through a megaphone when you tell your partner that you like and enjoy them.
Yet somehow, despite all this being so, most people don’t perform oral sex as well as they could. In fact, most people sort of suck at oral sex (and not in a good way). But it doesn’t have to stay this way—we can choose to raise the status quo.
Oral sex must be performed properly to be effective and enjoyable. According to my new found friend and speech path, (and now oral coach *grins*), unless your mouth is strong and controlled, there’s a limit to how much pleasure you’ll be capable of giving your lover. For instance, there’s a special way of elevating the clitoris through the suction of the lips, and then holding this position and stimulating it with a circular motion of the tongue that reliably drives women to ecstasy (we will get to this later). But a normal person frankly doesn’t have enough jaw control—not to mention lip strength and fine manipulation—to pull it off. Most people can’t even tie a cherry stem in their mouth, wow what’s the world coming too .
Tongue and mouth control
What has my new friend Simon super mouth got to say about this matter: Drawing on the experiences with patients and being a male tongue slave, I can tell you that an average person trying to perform the move you just mentioned would have a very high likelihood of slackening their jaw control while they tried to keep up the muscular action of the tongue, leading the jaw to close in what could be a very painful little mishap. The most pleasurable moves require a level of expertise that most of us simply don’t have. When it comes to oral sex, we need more than a list of good ideas, no matter how tantalizing those might be.
So I asked Simon..“what now, what can a sub do? or a Mistress teach, to make oral better, or take it new levels?”
You may think that your tongue is a soft, pink love muscle that simply rests in your mouth until you need it to chew, speak , yell your safeword, or get sexy. But it’s the most powerful muscle in your body in terms of exerting force, and as any speech therapist can tell you, that little sucker is exerting force all day long. The tongue exerts a minimum of six (and a maximum of eight) pounds of pressure in your mouth each time you swallow. The average individual swallows one thousand times in a twenty-four-hour cycle. You don’t need to be a math geek to figure out that that’s a lot of pressure—at least six thousand pounds a day—to be exerting anywhere in your body. And it’s more than enough to alter the structure of your mouth and the placement of your teeth significantly *shock*.
“Oh ok! well is there a particular place you should have you tongue simon super mouth? I know the answer to this one, but can you explain it? 😉
Yes MissB, there is a right way and a wrong way to place your tongue in your mouth. If we could feel just a little more of the six thousand pounds of pressure our tongues exert every day, most people would figure out how to place their tongues correctly as a matter of urgency There’s a part of the mouth that’s designed to withstand the pressure of the tongue—the hard palate on the roof—but most people never use it. Instead, they rest their tongues between their teeth, in the bottom of their jaw, or even worse, against the backs of the top teeth. Over time, placing the tongue in each of these spots weakens the tongue and surrounding muscles. As you read this paragraph, where is your tongue in your mouth? If it’s anywhere other than resting on the roof of your mouth behind (but not touching) the top row of teeth, your oral sex ability is being compromised. Try this experiment: read the rest of this article with the tip of your tongue always pressing against the hard palate on the roof of your mouth, without touching your teeth with the tip of your tongue always pressing against the hard palate on the roof of your mouth, without touching your teeth.
A poorly placed tongue impairs any and all uses of the tongue and mouth. Most people don’t know that this is an issue—while performing oral sex, they might just think that it’s natural to feel strained, get lockjaw, or have a gag reflex. While kissing, they might think that it’s equally normal to feel like they can’t get their lips in the right spot. But all of these (and snoring!) are symptoms of a misplaced tongue.
Aside from these effects, the placement of these incremental bursts of pressure changes the shape of your jaw and the placement of your teeth; determines how free your tongue is to move in, out, and around your mouth; and influences how much energy it has. You probably didn’t know that every time you swallow, you’re either helping or hurting your greatest oral sex asset. You probably didn’t even want to know that. But if you do want to give mind-blowing, satisfying, remembered-with-a-grin oral sex each and every time (and if you want to have fun doing it), you’re gonna have to accept a few Tongue Realities.
Tongue Reality 1: Your tongue does not like it when you smoke.
I know, I know, it’s sexy (sort of) and it can be a way to bond with Ms. Unapproachable Mistress Smoker, but the fact is that smoking isn’t good for your tongue. A smoker’s tongue tends to be lazy and lifeless, bulbous and placid. Simon adds that your tongue needs to be an energetic, frontward, stand-up soldier, not a limp pile of mess hall meat. Not to mention, smoking is flat-out bad for you, so it’s not like you would be getting rid of a productive pastime. (MissBonnie: shut up simon super mouth your boring me enough to light up 😛 )
Tongue Reality 2: Your tongue needs exercise, too.
You may think that your tongue gets a fine workout by eating and talking and kissing, but usually quite the opposite is happening. Since most people don’t even know the right position for their tongue, these activities actually weaken it by reinforcing bad habits. If you want a tongue that can lead wild excursions into intensely sensual experiences of oral, you have to give it specific, controlled exercises.
Later, you’ll find some of the exercises to jump-start basic training for your tongue: MissB
Tongue Reality 3:
You don’t know your tongue. Maybe you’re lucky enough to have already gone to speech therapy (MissB: though like me, you might not have recognized this as luck at the time LOL). Or maybe you were even luckier and inherently assumed correct tongue positioning. But it’s highly unlikely: out of more than ten thousand patients I’ve seen, not a single one walked into my office with their tongue correctly placed. Most of them didn’t even know that there was a correct position for the tongue.
But take heart—tongues are easy to get to know. They have simple needs that are easily satisfied. And you and your partner are going to get a lot out of this new acquaintance. Speaking of which, there’s a list of side benefits to these exercises that could lure the biggest couch potatoes on the planet to open their mouths and exercise their love tool: MissB
You’ll Feel Better
Much of your body’s tension goes into the face, neck, and shoulders and stays there. We grind our teeth. We can’t get our sinuses unclogged. We get short of breath sooner than we should, not from exertion but from not breathing properly. All these symptoms can be exercised away.
You’ll Look Better With your jaw muscles balanced, your tongue in the right place, and your swallowing patterns corrected, your face in repose will be at its most symmetrical and unstressed, so your features can appear to their best advantage, that alone is advantage. When you smile, talk, sing, or make love to your Mistress, you won’t be contorted, look tense, or appear worried, because your face will stop storing muscular tension—you’ll be radiating subbie charm instead of strain.
You’ll Sound Better
Your voice will have a wonderful resonance, both richer and rounder than you’ve probably ever heard it. It will be sexier, more commanding in the work place too. When you open your mouth to speak, your voice will have more tonal assurance, making people more likely to want to listen and respond to you if your in a job of authority.
Furthermore, if you snore , performing these exercises and keeping your tongue correctly positioned will eliminate the possibility of a single little snore—or even a midnight chortle—ever escaping your lips, and waking your Mistress beauty sleep. When the tongue is positioned correctly, your mouth is physiologically incapable of snoring. MissB
Common Problems
Now that you are familiar with these basic notions on tongue placement, it’s time to start preparing you to deliver lifelong ecstasy to your Mistress. But first i want to talk about my personal experiences over the years before simon super mouth teaches us: MissBonnie
I find many oral sex lovers are inadvertently lopsided—either they have lots of enthusiasm and lack the required skills, or they have some know-how but no panache. The following problems are ones I’ve experienced first hand, you may want to address them to make sure that you’re a well-rounded lover and attentive submissive.
1. Lockjaw.
his jaw is gripped by tension, set in one position, so his tongue is allowed no free play. (This can be a particular problem for lispers adds simon.) I feel like hitting him with a base ball bat LOL
2. The Tooth Monster.
Lack of jaw control that there teeth get in the way, snagging on things that they shouldn’t and making what should be a tender, erotic moment seem like an operation without anesthetic. Gawd this hurts! see above use of baseball bat!
3. The Drowning Pool.
They produce too much saliva, which gets in the way of their breathing properly and keeping up a steady, even, controlled stroke. Means my orgasms can get spoiled 🙁 boys we aren’t joking when we say “we want a man who can breath through his ears” 😆
4. The Tongue Depressive.
His tongue is sluggish, lazy. He can’t flick it lightly to catch those sensitive spots at the right time and with the right pressure. simply frustrating!
5. Flabby Tongue.
our tongue is bulbous, large and flaccid, with no flexibility and no tonal quality. For all the good it does your me, he might as well have rolled itself up into a ball and curled away to hibernate for the winter .
6. The Big Gag.
You don’t know exactly why, but they’re gagging. And I thought only Brussel sprouts or being force feed there own cum could do this to them! But don’t worry, it can be easily fixed without years of psychotherapy according to simon super mouth.
simon are there any exercises you can use to preparing your mouth and tongue for giving great oral pleasure to your mistress? and what about kissing? gosh simon! you sure like making us wait, but I’ll forgive you. I want better oral MissBitch
Yes there are loads of strengthening exercise but before beginning the exercises, let’s take a moment to define the problems MissBonnie mentioned.
What simon super mouth got to say on the above problems with oral MissBonnie experienced: Everyone has a different relationship to oral sex, and while many of these problems may have psychological and cultural components, developing your skills and sense of confidence toward oral sex will help give you an overall sense of well-being. Often performing exercises needed to strengthen the following areas and eliminate these problems for good.
The techniques you’ll be working on later will help you to attain the needed skills and will create a firm foundation from which you can build more advanced skills. They won’t automatically make you a great oral lover, but they will give you all the tools you need.
Jaw Control.
So you can open your mouth as wide as necessary, without straining.
Proper Breathing.
Learning how to breathe in and out through your nose, so you don’t run out of breath while your mouth is busy. You’ll eliminate one more distraction, and make it that much easier to concentrate on the magic that’s passing between you and your Domme. Easing the Tension. Oral sex involves more than just your mouth. Learning how to relax your neck and shoulders, your knees, your fingers, your whole body, will contribute greatly to your being able to focus all your enthusiasm on the matter at hand.
Swallowing.
Using your whole throat to swallow releases the constrictions in everything that’s above it—tongue, sinuses, nasal passages.
Mouth Basics
simon excercises pleeeeeease don’t make get my whip!:MissBonnie
ok MissB, sorry I get carried away its a topic very close to every facet of my professional and personal life LOL first I’m going to talk about kissing since MissBitch mentioned it and since great oral involves a great deal of it. After all we do need to start with the basics of the mouth (winks). The next time you’re in the bathroom, take a look at your tongue. Most of us think of our tongues as one unit, but the tongue has four distinct sections that you will need to familiarize yourself with in order to move your tongue techniques into second gear. These are:
the tip (the position of the tongue nearest the teeth), the blade (the point just below the alveolar ridge)
the middle (the section that touches the roof of your mouth when you arch your tongue by placing the tip behind your lower teeth and pressing upward)
and the back (the part that falls away from the roof of your mouth in an arched position).
Your tongue is the largest and most powerful muscle in the body and is distinguished from other muscles by its ability to flatten and point itself so dexterously. Because of its capacity to flatten and lengthen, or sharpen and point its tip, as well as its ability to alternate between heavy and light exertions of pressure, the tongue is custom-crafted to administer oral sex.
There is nothing else in the sex shop that can do all this. To boot, the tongue has a smooth underside, as well as a rough top texture “for Mistress’ pleasure.” *grins* MissB
The Spot
The first step in developing your tongue’s strength and precision (MissB adds: directly connected to its ability to give pleasure) is to identify the Spot. This is a particular place on the roof of your mouth where you will need to place your tongue for the majority of the tongue- and lip-strengthening exercises in this article. To find it, insert your (clean) finger into your mouth so that you’re touching the place where the backs of your top teeth meet the gums. Trace your finger from here to the spot where the roof suddenly drops to another level. This slope is known as the alveolar ridge.
Remove your finger and start playing with your tongue. See how sharply you can point the tip. It needs to be more like a pencil than a hot dog. The sharper you can make the tip, the more delicately and precisely you are going to be able to stimulate your Dominant. (If you can’t make a well-defined point now, don’t worry; there are exercises later in the article that will help you develop one.) When you have made your best possible point and identified the tip of your tongue, place the tip only on the drop-off (or alveolar ridge). Don’t let your tongue touch your front row of teeth, and make sure that it doesn’t fall beyond the ridge.
Keeping your tongue in this position will stop it from changing the position of the lips, something the tongue is notorious (in my field anyway) for doing. Think of your tongue as a hammy actor—it’s always trying to get past, distract, or upstage your lips and jaw from their function. But worse than that, it can also take energy away from the lips. So put that tongue in its place.
Aside from enabling you to participate in the exercises, placing your tongue here can stimulate the blood supply to the brain, increasing concentration and mental clarity. To do this, keep the tip of the tongue pressing up into the Spot, and let the middle of your tongue come up onto the roof of your mouth without changing the tip’s pressure. Only the middle should be pressing into the curved top of the mouth. The back of your tongue should still be hanging down into the back of the mouth. Holding this position will help you become more composed and clear-minded. It requires a little practice to keep your tongue here (MissB adds: about as much as teaching a dog to stay, but this position gives back ten times what you put into it.)
Coming to grips with your lazy lips
Though they take over completely during kissing, lips are a primary point of contact with your partner during all of oral sex and so must be as exquisitely soft and pleasing to the touch as possible. These kissing exercises must be as devoted to developing a velvet touch as they are to extending and strengthening lip movement. While developing mastery over the movement of the lips is extremely important to help them create a wide variety of sensations on cue, you never want to tone your lips so much that they become too firm or muscular.
To keep your lips soft and inviting, make sure that you never perform lip exercises with tense lips. Pucker and tap your lips gently with your index finger. How soft do your lips feel? This is how they should feel when you perform the lip exercises. Avoid tensing your lips when you go through the motions of each exercise. For the first week of practice, you should do all of the exercises standing in front of a mirror, so that you can be sure that the correct parts of the lips and mouth—and nothing else—are moving. In the beginning, you should do each exercise separately, with a five to ten minute break in between. After the first week, the exercises can flow into each other. Each exercise should be performed every day for seven days to start, then switch to every other day for an additional week to train the muscles to remember their new skills.
Kissing Exercises
Pucker Up
With your tongue on the Spot push your lips all the way forward until they open and roll their insides out, sticking as much of the inside of your lips out as possible. Then, keeping them fully extended, open and close your lips, bringing just the fleshy parts together to form a small circle. Touch them together five times. Practicing Pucker Up may make you look a little silly, and a lot like a fish, but trust this exercise—it will put you far ahead of the game by helping you find the correct positioning of the tongue and jaw. This exercise acquaints you with the soft insides of your lips—when you perform it, notice what potential the lips have to create soft, delightful sensations. Lip implants are popular because they promise exactly this sensation. But in order to deliver it, make sure to note the difference in texture between the soft, glossy inside and the drier outside of the lips. Many people make the mistake of firming up the lips, and kissing with only their rough outside edges, thereby missing out on the moist inner lips’ inherent kissability. (You can feel how un stimulating this is if you simply close your lips and slightly roll them in between your teeth so that only the outer lip is exposed.) This part of the lip has no friction or engagement, both of which are absolute necessities for an erotically stimulating kiss. However, others make the mistake of rolling the lips out too far. This results in the “I felt like he was eating my face” sensation. When you kiss, the other person should be able to feel both the rough and glossy parts of your lips and never just one or the other. Similarly, during oral sex, the entire lip should be used for greatest effect. However, on a particularly sensitive clit, use just the glossy insides to avoid over-stimulation.
Another issue that significantly impacts kissing and oral sex is the strength of the lips. Most of us never think of the lips as muscles, but lip strength is an extremely important factor for any kind of lingual caress. Pucker Up identifies and prepares you to use your entire lips, but if the muscles are weak the effect won’t contribute much to your kiss. In order to give a really memorable, arousing smooch, your lips need to be strong and under your control. One exercise for this is called E like “Eat,” O like “Swoon.” (MissB: You can use your imagination for what kind of “eating” this refers to.) E like “Eat,” O like “Swoon”
With your tongue on the Spot and your teeth together, look at yourself in the mirror and pull your lips as wide apart as they can possibly go. Place your pointer and middle finger with the pads against the teeth, and start saying “eeeeeeeeee.” Not “ehhhhhh,” like “elephant,” but a strong, sharp “e” like “eat.” Keep looking in the mirror to make sure that your lips are the only things moving (that is, don’t move your jaw, neck, or tongue) and that they are stretched widely enough so that they aren’t touching your fingers. Hold your lips in this position for the count of ten.
When you’re ready, remove your fingers and pull your lips into a tight little circle with the insides of the lips pressing forward—as if you were trying to touch someone else with the smooth insides of the lips—and say “OOOOO” like “swoon.” This will strengthen your lips, as well as the surrounding muscles. Do ten repetitions of these kissing exercises every day for a week.
Advanced Lip Exercises for Kissing
The Saltwater Pump—Front
Pumping exercises increase your lip dexterity. Put one teaspoon of salt in half a glass of warm (not hot) water. Pump a mouthful of this back and forth behind your upper lip.
Allow the shape of your lip to be changed by the pressure of the water moving in and out. Perform this for a full minute, pushing the salt water as far as it will go without opening your lips.
The presence of the salt will make you aware of the exact places your lip expands with this exercise.
Take note of how much your lip can actually stretch, because you’ll be using the insides of your lips extensively in kissing and manipulating the finer points of your lover’s anatomy.
You should be using a half a glass of water to complete this exercise through a series of three to seven mouthfuls (depending on the size of your mouth).
Do this three times a day for a week.
The Lip Massage
Whereas the Saltwater Pump softens the deeper tissues of your lips, performing the same motions with air softens the surface of the lips, especially the delicate edges where your lips touch.
It will also help you gain control over this crucial area for oral sex.
This is the part of the lip that will hold the clitoris in place; it is also the part of the lip that is most responsible for stimulating the surrounding area during clitoral stimulation.
Using your breath instead of water, push air behind your upper lip as firmly as you can. Again, do not tense or engage the lip muscles, but allow them to be moved and stretched by the power of your breath.
Do this ten or twelve times during the day.
The Saltwater Pump—Side
Using the same ratio of salt to warm water as in Saltwater Pump—Front, push the water outward against the cheeks.
Allow your cheek muscles to relax completely, then slowly push the water completely into them and maintain the position for a few seconds.
Let the water blow back into the mouth gently, with still further relaxation of the cheek muscles. Alternate forcing the water in and out of the cheeks in this manner.
Do this five times a day, filling and emptying twice each time.
Monkey Face
Slowly force salt water behind the upper lip, gradually building up pressure until the lip is completely rounded out.
Make sure that the lip muscles are completely relaxed.
Do this five times in a row, then perform the same process on the lower lip.
Try this again using air to reach the subtler musculature. The reason for doing both is that while using water makes the lips more flexible, air makes them tangibly softer. Taking some air into your mouth, force it gently into your upper lip, as if you are blowing up a balloon.
Hold to the count of ten, five times in a row on the upper lip, then the bottom lip, and then both
The Jug of Plenty
This exercise will give you some of the softest, most memorable lips on the planet.
To perform it, you need an empty plastic half-gallon jug (or container of equal size and weight) and about four or five feet of string. Good cotton string is highly preferable to dental floss or thread.
Place the jug on the floor, and tie the cotton string through the handle so that you can lift the jug off the floor with the string.
Put one end of the string in your mouth, and bend over so that you are looking directly down at the jug.
Lift the jug off the floor by puckering your lips and using them to pull the string into your mouth.
And you may want to close the blinds! this one is harder to explain than whip marks 😉
Some people start to suck as if they were eating a long piece of spaghetti. Instead, actively use the inner part of the lips to pull in the string, hold it to the roof of your mouth with your tongue, and then use your lips to pull in another segment.
Lifting the jug six or eight inches off the floor will do.
Your face should remain parallel to the floor.
Lift and lower the jug ten times (each time should only take a few seconds).
Be very careful when taking the string into your mouth. Do not perform this exercise haphazardly or while rushing.
Button Up!
The purpose of this exercise is to get the muscles of your lips to strengthen by working against themselves.
The idea here is to tone the lip muscles by forcing them to adapt to increased stress.
For this exercise, you will need a button between the size of a dime and a quarter, and a piece of string as long as your arm.
Thread the string through the button, and tie the ends of the string together.
Pull the button with one hand and the string with the other until the doubled string is stretched taut.
Place the button in your mouth, and position it equally between your top and bottom lip (but not touching your teeth).
Holding the button with your dominant hand (left for left-handed, etc.), hold the string so that it is perfectly straight and even.
Begin to pull your dominant hand slowly away from your motionless head with steadily increasing force
The button will attempt to escape your mouth by forcing your lips open—don’t let it.
Pull harder until you find the point where you lose the button.
Try to remember how far away your dominant hand is when it pops free, so that you can set your goal for the next time just beyond that point.
Do this five times a day for seven days, then three times a day for another seven.
These exercises all help make the lips supple and soft, while maximizing their tone and energy so that they never tire of giving your partner pleasure.
The energy you put into your lips here will show up in tenfold when it’s time to give some luscious licks and kisses
Tongue-Tied
Let’s refine your control and fine manipulation of the tongue. For french kissing, an excellent exercise is to look in the mirror and bring your tongue fully to a point.
Stick out your tongue and bring it to a point without touching your teeth or lips.
Hold it in this position and make a mental note of its size and shape.
Now relax and widen the tongue as much as possible, still without touching your teeth or lips.
The first time you perform this exercise in the mirror, you may be surprised by just how versatile your tongue really is—it can stretch from a point less than half an inch long to four times that size without touching the teeth or lips.
The concept of your tongue as a free agent, moving independently of your teeth and lips is particularly important for oral love, even crucial.
While kissing, allow the tongue to move independently, but avoid making it sharp or pointed (at least until kissing has become extremely passionate and aggressive).
Remember that a soft, wide tongue is much more inviting than a darting poker, and that each minute change of your tongue shape will be felt intimately by your partner.
exercises that apply directly to oral sex
So simon what about exercises that apply directly to oral sex?
BASIC EXERCISES
Nose Touch :
Stick out your tongue and curve it up. Try to touch your nose. If you can touch your nose already, try to touch only the tip of your nose using the tip of your tongue.
Repeat twice.
Chin Touch :
Stick out your tongue.
Curve it down and try to touch your chin.
See if you can touch your chin without the tip alone.
Repeat twice.
Up and Down :
Open your mouth, keeping your tongue inside and behind your teeth.
Move it slowly up and down, touching the tip to the roof, then to the base.
Do not run the tongue along the roof or over the teeth.
Pretend there is a toothpick between the roof of your mouth and the bottom of your jaw, and move your tongue along this perfectly vertical line.
See how fast you can go while keeping the tip as the point of contact.
Side to Side :
Open your mouth a little.
Let your tongue peek out.
Move it back and forth to each corner of your mouth on a curved path (following, but not touching, your bottom lip)
Do this four times.
Peanut Butter :
Open your mouth a little.
Pretend you have peanut butter all over your lips.
Lick all the peanut butter off your top lip, then lick it off the bottom one.
Tongue Push :
Keep your lips closed.
Place your tongue against one cheek and push it out, while using three fingers to gently push against the tongue from the other side of the cheek.
Repeat on the other side.
Open Wide :
Open and close your mouth.
Letting your tongue rest on the bottom of your mouth, stretch out your cheeks but don’t strain your jaw.
Smiley Face :
Keeping your lips closed, give the biggest smile you can muster.
Think of the oral sex master you will shortly become.
Sad Mouth :
Keeping your lips closed, turn your mouth down as far as you can.
(MissB: Think of the fact that according to the McKinsey Report 60 percent of women report that their spouses give “moderately” satisfactory oral sex. )
Show Your Teeth :
Keeping your teeth closed, open your lips and give a big smile.
Say “extremely satisfactory” without touching your lips to your teeth.
Kisses :
Pucker your lips and make one long kissing sound, keeping your lips closed, by sucking air in through your tightly contracted lips for ten seconds.
Raspberries :
Stick out your tongue and close your lips around it.
Then blow air out, letting your tongue and lips vibrate.
This may tickle.
Pops:
press your lips together and pop them apart, making a loud noise.
Do not suck in—the popping sound is created by simply rolling your closed lips in very slightly, then allowing them to separate.
Fish Face :
Push your lips out to make a fish face (without sucking in your cheeks for dramatic effect).
Open and close your lips a few times
Lipstick Lad:
Press your lips together and rub them back and forth, as if you are spreading lipstick around on them.
Oooooh . . . Aaaaah :
Focusing all of your attention on your lips, very elaborately shape your lips into the small circle that accompanies an “oooooh” sound, and hold it for about ten seconds.
Then, smoothly transition into opening your mouth as far as it will go and saying “aaaaah” for ten seconds. Do each five times.
If you have successfully completed these warm-ups, congratulations! They are admittedly hard for sophisticated adults to perform.
INTERMEDIATE EXERCISES
Now that your tongue, lips, and cheeks are soft, supple, and ready to move, you’re equipped to practice more advanced exercises. These exercises apply directly to oral sex and simulate particular moves.
Tongue Cluck :
Put your tongue tip behind your top teeth and get the sides of your tongue up, too. Suck in and cluck, making a horse-galloping noise.
See if you can get the middle to come down first, and the tip of the tongue last.
Focusing on getting the middle of your tongue to come down before the tip will teach your tongue how to stimulate your lover using the soft underside of the tongue instead of the rougher taste bud side.
Few people know how to do this, and as the smooth side of the tongue feels delightful on the sensitive parts of the body, this exercise is well worth the effort of mastering.
Tsk-tsk :
Use this exercise to train your tongue to use the area between the roof of your mouth and the taste bud side of your tongue to create more surrounding sensations on your lover.
With your lips open, place your tongue tip on the bump behind your top teeth and suck in gently.
If you hear a sound like a disapproving old woman, you’re doing it right.
Whole Tongue Suck :
This exercise helps you teach your mouth how to focus on a specific area and to use sucking to heighten sensation.
Suck your entire tongue up onto the roof of your mouth.
Press and release, making a sucking sound.
Repeat five times.
Tongue Stretch :
This exercise will give your tongue more dexterity, so that you can be sure to find your lover’s hot spots.
Place your tongue on the roof of your mouth while you raise and lower your jaw.
You should feel your tongue stretch.
Repeat ten times.
Tongue Push :
With your lips open, push your tongue onto the bump behind your top row of teeth for ten seconds.
Relax.
Repeat three times.
This will teach you how to apply pressure with your tongue in a designated place, and it will strengthen your control over when and where your tongue applies force.
Baby Talk :
Place your finger between your top and bottom rows of front teeth and practice saying these syllables: “tuh, tuh, tuh, tuh”; “duh, duh, duh, duh”; “nuh, nuh, nuh, nuh.”
Notice how your tongue moves down with the center first, and then the tip?
This will help you further develop your ability to stimulate your lover using the soft underside of the tongue. Your finger should have no teeth marks on it, and should not be wet by the end of the exercise.
Crush That Candy :
Using a small piece of circular candy (like a Skittle or M&M), use your tongue to press the candy into the bump behind your front row of teeth, without pressing your tongue into your teeth as well.
Press the candy with your tongue steadily, until it breaks or dissolves.
Do not repeat.
For the health conscious, a Cheerio works exceptionally well.
This exercise tones and strengthens the tongue, and if practiced regularly, will eliminate fatigue.
KKK (Not That One) :
Keeping your tongue tip down behind your lower teeth, open your mouth and make a “k-k-k” sound by lifting the back of your tongue.
When your lover is ready for more intense stimulation, use this tongue motion to stimulate them with the rough, taste bud side of your tongue.
More Imaginary Peanut Butter :
Pretend you have peanut butter all over your bottom lip.
Stretch your top lip over your bottom lip and pretend to wipe all the peanut butter off, addressing the sides as well as the front.
For supersensitive areas on your lover, the lip is a great substitute for the tongue.
The soft inside of the upper lip can extend in the manner exercised to caress and awaken sensitive spots that can be stimulated more aggressively with the tongue later.
Hold It and Blow :
Practice blowing a cotton ball across a table through a straw held firmly between your lips.
Focus on applying specific amounts of pressure with the air you exert from your mouth.
This will both fine-tune the muscles of your mouth and teach your tongue to flatten at just the tip—an excellent position from which to initiate upward strokes over the clitoris (or other supersensitive areas) with definite feeling but not an overwhelming degree of it.
Different Strokes :
Pretend that you have whipped cream all over the roof of your mouth.
Using the tip of your tongue, sweep it from front to back along the roof of your mouth.
Do this for ten strokes, then change direction, now going from front to back and noting the difference in sensation
The basic exercises should be performed for two weeks, and the intermediate ones for an additional week. (This is because the intermediate exercises build on and hone the raw skills developed by the basic ones.)
alas poor simon super mouth died at his type writer, like we almost did waiting for the exercises. *rolls eyes* Of course we am joking simon is alive and well, although gaged to save on the length of this article. 😉 we thought in the interest of space, subsequent articles are best broken into sections: MissBonnie and MissBitch
One of the questions I’m regularly asked by virgins interested in Femdom, is I don’t know how to eat pussy. I keep saying don’t worry she will make it clear what she likes, and dislikes, but then it dawned on me, some time in the heat of passion with my subs, while they are going down on me…I forget to say what I like due to being ‘lost in the moment’ it made me realize this silly sounding question is not as silly as it first sounded, and perhaps a short page on this juicy topic is needed. After all a there is nothing wrong with a submissive confident in Cunnilingus, hell even some experienced submissives could use a hand.
I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I’m not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little 101 lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she’s found a treasure she’s not going to let go of too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won’t even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he’s got it made, and will have a very happy Mistress.
Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you’ve got the world’s most gorgeous Domme confident in bed with you, she’s going to worry, to some extent, about how you like her body. Tell her it’s beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs. Now stop and look at what you see.
Beautiful, isn’t it?
There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy. I know. I’ve seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz, or bald as a badger. Appreciate your woman’s unique qualities and tell her what makes her special (even a Domme loves compliments). Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her; the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you’re petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it. Now look at it again. Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn’t mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her ‘foreskin’.
Whenever you touch a woman’s pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn’t have any juices of its own and it’s extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it’s dry and that can hurt.
But you don’t want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled. Approach her pussy slowly.
Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. Take your time, your not at a roadside dinner, doing a quick stop for a meal. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, and make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, and then float away. Make her anticipate it. Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you’ve done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she’s straining to get more of you closer to her, and then put your lips right on top of her slit. Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you’re about to eat must be done gently. Tongue-fuck her. This feels define. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit.
Check it out.
See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of its covering. If so, lick it. If you can’t see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up tot he top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience its presence. But even if you can’t feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it.
Lick hard now and press into her skin. Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she’s getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady’s face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder.
Go with her.
If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don’t fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don’t let go. That’s what she’ll be saying too: ‘Don’t stop. Don’t ever stop!’ There’s a reason for that, most men stop too soon.
Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who’s a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him. But back to your pussy eating session…
There’s another thing you can do to intensify your woman’s pleasure.
You can finger-fuck her while she’s enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, during or after. She’ll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you’re fucking her.
Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking. Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can’t get deep enough. Make sure they’re wet so you don’t irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing. She’ll let you know what to do.
If you’re sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you’re giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she’s getting high on this. If there’s any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one who’s nipples get hard when she’s excited or only when she’s having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you’ll be a more sensitive lover. When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven’s sakes, don’t let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her pussy. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.
If you play your cards right, you’ll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she’s had an orgasm.
Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential?
One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She’d be yours as long as you wanted her and more so YOU would be hers.
The last advice I have for you is this:
After you’ve made her come, by giving her the best head she’s ever had, don’t leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she’s come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex. Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it’s what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover’s signals, and most of all, and enjoy yourself.
I don’t need to argue here about the importance of great sex to the health of a romantic relationship. We’ve all seen TV shows and movies that portray sex and passion as uber-racy, with bodies writhing in satin sheets under perfectly dimmed lighting, as if little elves had benevolently prepped the room for a one-two-three orgasm.
But if sex and romance are overvalued, oral sex is all too frequently undervalued in the media and culture at large. Still occasionally stigmatized as “dirtier” than straight-up sex, the power of oral sex for sustaining and deepening a romantic relationship often gets overlooked. Sharing pleasure, as in intercourse, and giving pleasure have very different effects on a relationship, simply because they have very different effects on your partner. Being able to give pleasure to your partner, unselfishly and lovingly, can be very important and plays a different role in your interpersonal dynamic. Oral sex is special in that it makes the other person feel cared for, tended to, and looked after. If actions speak louder than words, oral sex is like speaking through a megaphone when you tell your partner that you like and enjoy them.
One of the questions I’m regularly asked by virgins interested in Femdom, is I don’t know how to eat pussy. I keep saying don’t worry she will make it clear what she likes, and dislikes. But then it dawned on me, some time in the heat of passion with my subs, while they are going down on me…I forget to say what I like due to being ‘lost in the moment’ it made me realize this silly sounding question is not as silly as it first sounded, and perhaps a short page on this juicy topic is needed. After all a there is nothing wrong with a man, let alone a submissive man being confident in Cunnilingus, hell even some experienced submissives could use a hand.
Recently I was talking with a fellow Domme who was telling me of her newest pleasure . A submissive who whom has oral skills that have blown her away, so much so she has nicked him super mouth
So what transformed this mere mortal into an oral superman? Have you guessed yet? Of all things, Super mouth was trained as a speech therapist. As a few many know my middle child has speech problems and has been involved in speech therapy (with me) for a number of years. Of course! all the mouth exercises will help you gain a new mastery over your lips and tongue, why didn’t it ever dawn on me before of the possible uses when combined with a Femdom training and a twist. I returned to my speech pathologist friend with new interest in other uses for the topic at hand.
you will always have to customize oral sex for your Mistress each person has a distinct set of preferences, and there’s no getting around that. But regardless of who your partner is, there are some base guidelines that lay the foundation for great oral sex.
Bad form is often the difference between success and failure. Porn films would have us believe that any position is the right position: up against the wall, on top of a table, hanging off the bed, hanging off the rafters—the wilder the better. But it should come as no surprise that with bad tittles, the porn industry, in general, shies away from the lofty aesthetics of cinema vérité.
First and foremost, expert cunnilingus needs to be delivered from a position that enables the giver to comfortably apply persistent, rhythmic pressure over time while the receiver relaxes into the nuances of arousal.
Not surprisingly, one of the main reasons why men say they don’t perform cunnilingus more often is the physical strain—in short, the pain of being in the wrong position. So if your attitude toward cunnilingus is “no pain, no gain,” the sentiment is appreciated, but entirely unnecessary.
it would be a cause for celebration if we were born with the l and intuitive set of sexual skills that we all pretend we have. Without stating it outright, our culture—via our parents, the media, and our peers—implies that sex and sexual skills should come naturally, with all but the most advanced techniques being somehow instinctive. You’d never expect someone to hit a perfect tennis serve without lessons and practice or to play a beautiful sonata on an instrument they’ve only touched a couple of times, yet somehow, most of us come to maturity with the expectation that sexual skills will magically develop in the presence of our naked lover, that this lover will likewise experience a spontaneous onset of spectacular proficiency, and that it will all unfurl as smoothly as a movie montage.
devices can be used to rocket oral sex into the next stratosphere. Vibrators, Dildos, and Other Miscellany for Misbehaving. Don’t knock sex toys until you’ve seen what they can do. Our article contains hints and tips you may, or may not enjoy.
Florentine flogging is a two-handed style of flagellation used in BDSM which involves the rhythmic use of a pair of matching floggers, one in each hand of the person administering the flogging.
The term Florentine originally designates the art of wielding two weapons at once, one in each hand. For instance, it can refer to fighting with one sword in each hand, or a sword and a dagger. It is a style developed by the Italians in the city of Florence, hence the name
This video demonstrates the two beat weave/four point florentine movements with a pair of 5′ paracord snignal(signal) whips by Lauren and MidWest Whips.
Caning is the SM technique of consensually striking someone (most commonly on the buttocks) with a cane for mutual erotic pleasure. Canes are often used in Femdom play. Care should be taken to observe all appropriate safety precautions. Canes have a deserved reputation as The Victorian Terror Weapon. To most submissives, they mean severe punishment; to sensation-seeking S/M bottoms, overload. If we have care and patience, however, canes can be used in a loving and sensuous way. The very stiffness of a good cane, that makes a hard stroke so intense, allows the lightest taps to be given with perfect control. And a light cane stroke is easy to aim, unlike a flexible whip that sags and flops at low power. In the kind of sensuous play I’m describing here, light strokes are far more prevalent and important than heavy ones.
CARE
To keep canes healthy, once a year one should sand the tip, stand the cane in a vase of water overnight, and then revarnish the tip.
·One should be able to bring the cane down in a straight line.
·The cane should have three or more coats of varnish.
·Small diameter = sharp pain. Large diameter = thud.
CANING HINTS
·The bottom experiences two sensations with every stroke (nerves being compressed and then expanding). Thus, the strokes shouldn’t go too fast.
·Be sure the room isn’t too cold.
·Bottom should relax muscles in butt to avoid later lactic acid buildup causing a deep ache.
·It is difficult if not impossible to kill any Hepatitis pathogens on canes.
·Extra Zinc helps bruises heal.
·Avoid striking the tail bone and the back of the knee.
·Front of thighs can be caned.
·The fold between the buttocks and thighs is termed the “sulcus,” and can be quite painful when struck.
·A circular “fluffing” motion can be effective for rapid “warm-up” strokes.
·Backhanded strokes often land harder.
·Hitting and holding delays the second stage of pain.
The cane is one of the most important-and most intrinsically severe-of all instruments of punishment for punishments.
Canes are made from a variety of materials, with rattan being the most popular, due to its unique combination of light weight and extreme flexibility. They can also be made from malacca and bamboo-both unsuitable materials in my opinion, since malacca is too “knobbly” and bamboo is liable to splinter-and also from whalebone, a very severe form indeed of this instrument. And of course, ad hoc punishment ferrules can be shaped very easily from switches cut from any hedgerow-hazel, willow and young ash-plants all being suitable, though only the last-named will last for more than one punishment.
The standard cane is universally manufactured from rattan, and is typically supplied with one end already curled into the traditional handle. Lengths vary from about two feet (these are intended to be used across the knee on but I do not think this “punishment” can ever be effective) to about four feet. Canes longer than this will be difficult to control and aim properly and should be rejected (unless the caning is of the judicial type).
The weight of a cane is the important thing and here appearances may be deceptive. Rattan is a very light material and inexperienced governesses not appreciating this are liable to choose their canes on the slender side, reasoning that this will make the strokes more merciful. In fact the reverse is true: a slim, wand-like cane is crueler and more liable to cut. Thicker canes better combine the qualities of penetration and “spread”, and are less liable to break the skin. (I speak in this context of canings inflicted “on the bare”-if a boy retains his trousers you may use what cane you like.)
CANE USE
It is, as I have said, a severe instrument, and though versatile-it can be used to punish the hands and the clothed or unclothed bottom-the cane should be used with respect for its considerable powers of penetration. Wrongly used, it can be a vicious implement.
Applying the cane across the bare bottom is one way of observing the progress and effect of the punishment, and of checking one’s aim. Some males have tougher hides than others, but even a light caning of a few strokes will leave, in addition to the usual blush across the nether regions, intermittent evidence of the rod in the form of visible weals. If the strokes are administered at a slow pace-say, one every ten seconds-the caner has time to observe these marks begin to develop, and like a rifleman can correct her aim accordingly. All strokes should be delivered into as narrow a band as possible, and that area should correspond with the plumpest and best-padded part of the posterior.
Administering any sort of caning is a matter of some precision, the attainment of which is generally a matter of practice. In order to be effective at all, it must be administered with a minimum of real force.
CANING TECHNIQUES
I have spoken much already about this excellent implement so here I shall confine myself to observations concerning its use. The cane is a highly penetrating instrument of great potential severity, and care must be taken when administering it-so much is obvious. It is also lighter than it looks. But the important point is its extreme flexibility. During the quarter-second or so of flight, the instrument achieves a near semi circularity in shape. Although it may appears straight and even stiff (till it is moved), in practice it is more whip like. The arm and wrist motion is therefore a complex one. At the beginning of the stroke, the hand leads the tip of the cane; it continues to lead throughout the descent; only at the last moment, after the shortest of follow-throughs, does the wrist halt and reverse direction slightly so that the business end of the cane “catches up” at exactly the right angle to the posterior. The achievement of a good caning action is therefore a matter of some diligence and constant practice
Another precaution is to take one’s stance slightly to the left of the target-perhaps as much as a half-pace. This ensures that the tip of the cane, which travels faster than the rest of the instrument during the latter part of the flight, strikes the far buttock at precisely the same instant, and with the same force, as the rest of the cane makes contact with the near buttock. The result should be a perfect stripe across the broadest part of the bottom. This mark will immediately appear in white as you finish the stroke; then it will fade; to reappear (if it has been a severe stroke) within less than a minute as a thin welt.
I have spoken earlier about limits on the use of the cane. Feeble strokes merely tap the skin. Savage blows can cut it. Both are to be deplored. The result of a sound caning should be a welted bottom, certainly-if the behind is not vividly marked the punishment has been too mild and will be too rapidly forgotten-but not a scarified one. That is simple brutality.
The cane should hum or whistle in the stroke and fall across the target with a sharp snap, like a toy pistol. There should be a pause between strokes-say, a minimum of ten seconds.
Beware of canes that are too long. While a long cane whips-in satisfactorily, it is harder to control, and the stray six inches at the end may cause the further buttock to be punished more severely than the nearer. Standing well to the left of the target is one cure, but on the whole it is best to use a slightly shorter weapon, and to strike slightly harder.
When a culprit is bending over in the conventional position, do not make the mistake of shaping your stroke with too great a downwards component. The chances are you may hit the base of the spine, or the cane will fall at an awkward, grazing angle, or you may punish the upper half of the buttocks and leave the lower, more sensitive portion, unscathed. Take a horizontal or even slightly upwards aim, draw the cane back slowly within the same are, then whip the forearm and wrist smartly through from one side to the other, keeping your eyes on the exact spot you are aiming for. Do not look up from this spot until you have completed the stroke. If the buttocks have been bared beforehand, observe the mark and compare it to your point of aim; adjust the next stroke accordingly.
A traditional way of limiting the amount of force that may be applied is to tuck a large book-say, the Bible-under your punishing arm and retain it there throughout the caning. A little experimentation will shew that it is impossible to use the shoulder and upper arm muscles without letting the book fall. You are constrained to wrist and forearm, which is exactly as it should be. An even greater error is to be over-harsh. The difference between the lightest cut that may reasonably be given, and the severest, is not large; and if greater severity is required it is safer to increase the number of strokes, or to apply some additional measure, such as baring the bottom.
A single cane can deliver an entire symphony of sensation. A snappy blow that is pulled back a bit just before impact will emphasize surface sting. The same sort of blow carried past the moment of impact, with follow-through, will have much more thud and penetration.
The greatest intensity is delivered by the outer third or so of the cane’s length. This is the portion that leaves marks, in a hard blow. In a light blow, this part of the cane will have a relatively stingy feel. Closer to the top’s hand, the cane moves much more slowly, and the sensation will be more thuddy or even massage-like. This allows a good way of maintaining rhythm and atmosphere while giving some relief to a bottom who is showing signs of overload.
The very tip of a cane can be used on many targets that a full-length blow might harm, or be unable to even reach. Tip shots can work the inside of the sweet spot, the bottoms of the feet, the muscles between the spine and the shoulder blades. A traditional cane stroke in any of these areas would cross bony areas, causing bone bruises and pain that is not at all erotic; a hard one might chip bones or crush nerves, and cause truly harmful damage. DON’T try for these with any force until you are utterly sure of your aim! Lighter tip shots are much safer, and feel much like percussion massage.
SETUP
I prefer to have the bottom lying flat. When a person goes as deeply into bottom space as I hope to send them, the mere act of keeping their balance will be a distraction. Having them lie on a table is easiest on the top’s back in these long scenes; massage tables are ideal, and cafeteria-type tables are sturdy and about the right height. Arrange padding if the table doesn’t already have it; I usually bring a single-bed sheet and a roll of foam to parties and demos.
Second choice is ground level; on a mattress or futon, or the foam pad. Here the bottom will be laying prone and the top will sit or kneel beside them. On table or floor, it’s nice to have three or four feet clear on either side of the bottom, so that you can switch sides. Since the tip of the cane always hits the hardest, switching sides will help to keep the caning symmetrical. Also, it allows the top’s other hand to rove over a different part of the bottom’s body. From one side, you can stroke, massage, caress, and collect feedback from feet, legs, and buttocks, and play with their crotch if it’s that kind of scene. From the other, you caress their face, massage their back, grab hair or the back of their neck, play trust games with your finger between their teeth as you cane them…
A caning can be an awkward thing to deliver when the bottom is standing, especially if the top is taller. There is a strong tendency for strokes to land too high, on the bony upper half of the butt, when the bottom is standing up. Also, the sweet spot is hard to reach from this position. Going to one knee may help. Occasionally a play space may have a stage or platform of some kind, with bondage facilities near the edge of it. If you have the gear and knowhow to do it safely, suspension may also offer a way to get the bottom a foot or two higher.
I try to avoid the traditional bent positions for caning, where the recipient crouches or bends over a chair. For one thing, this stretched skin is much more sensitive. Victorian punishers wanted overload; for a sensuous caning we want to avoid it. For another, the tailbone comes up into harm’s way when one bends over, and a hard canestroke is quite capable of chipping it and inflicting a painful lifetime disability. Damaged tailbones don’t heal! There is a lot of perfectly good buttock area that is hard to work safely from these positions; when the bottom’s body is straight, much more of the tailbone is protected.
When in doubt, run your finger down the spine, all the way into the crack of their ass; you can feel how far the tailbone goes. Check this each time; the length varies surprisingly among different people.
WARMUP TECHNIQUE
The best precondition for a trip to Endorphin Heaven is for the bottom to be deeply relaxed, trusting, not anticipating the next stroke but rather accepting. Going too hard or too fast will drop them out of their bottom space (that warm, accepting state of trust) at just the time when you should be building it up. Their hindbrain will take charge, and its ancient survival reflexes will start screaming “We’re taking damage! Get us the hell out of here!” A good bottom wants the scene to go well, and will be working to control panic and nervousness. For this particular style of scene, the top must build the intensity so smoothly that the bottom is supported rather than challenged in their efforts to stay centered and accepting.
Of course, some people warm up much faster than others. “Smooth” is one thing; boring is quite another. In initial negotiations, I mention this, and if we are using the “traffic light” safewords I point out that “green” is also a color, and that they can always call for a speedup if they want one.
As we begin, I like to promise that I will escalate the intensity very gradually – something like “no stroke will be more than a third harder than I’ve already given you”. This helps them relax. You need to keep this promise, too; surprises will tense them up for a long while afterwards. Resist the temptation to tease them or fake them out, for the same reason.
I often begin with an ordinary massage. I explore the muscles of the back, buttocks, and legs, checking for tense spots and taking whatever time is needed to relax them and establish an expectation of pleasure from my touch. Massage is itself an endorphin releaser, and very non-threatening. When a bottom is new to this technique, their delighted surprise can relax them, build a lot of trust early on, and give them confidence that there are rewards to be had in exploring with you.
After achieving relaxation of any tense spots, do a little fingertip percussion on the muscled areas of the bottom’s body. (Fingertip percussion is what a pianist does to strike several close keys all at once.) The fingers of one or both hands are crooked, and struck down in to the target area. Work the upper back, to either side of the spine, this way for a while. Do the same to the lower part of the buttocks, and down the backs of the legs. This sort of sensation is a perfect bridge between massage and flagellation; it’s especially good for introducing beginners.
Now begin with the cane, tapping very lightly over the areas that had the percussion warmup. Don’t tap any bony areas; this is a good time to develop the habit of avoiding them. Use the cane tip to reach areas that have bone close alongside. The blows should have less force than your fingertips did; the cane is hard and stingy, and the idea is to introduce the cane without breaking the relaxed and trusting glow of your warmup. Along with ordinary light taps, mix in a few that are feather-light; with practice you can deliver a flutter as light as the landing of a flock of butterflies. This is a wonderful contrast to harder strokes; as endorphins build up such a light flutter will often bring on a fit of giggles.
As you work, do single taps, double taps, quick flutters of various intensities. Your goal here is twofold. You are trying to teach the bottom that they cannot predict your strokes, but that it doesn’t matter because they won’t be harmed. It is a non-verbal trust-building exercise.. Done with care, you can give the bottom that wonderful open acceptance of whatever happens, the key to the very best bottom space.
Another key to good bottom space is breathing. Deep, careful breathing controls panic, and this is vital as intensity builds. Panic is really the unpleasant portion of pain; take panic away and what’s left is just strong sensations. All kinds of wonderful things can be done with strong sensations…
If your bottom has ever done yoga, meditation, natural childbirth training, or anything like that, remind them that deep, slow breathing is important here, too. If they have never had such training, coach them as you go. If their breathing becomes short and choppy, ease up and remind them to relax and breathe deeply (unless they’re coming, of course; that’s to be encouraged, not interrupted with good advice!)
If your other hand keeps up a steady contact with caresses and massage, not only will it relax and comfort the bottom but you will be able to detect twitches, tension, or relaxation. Especially with bottoms who aren’t very verbal or vocal, this is the best feedback you can have.
If they are vocalizing, watch out for a sharp edge to their tone. It warns of gradually building tension – if you continue to hear it, something isn’t working, the bottom space is eroding. The muscles under your other hand should be more and more relaxed as the caning proceeds; if not, it’s also a sign that your buildup is not succeeding. This sign is apparent even in a silent bottom.
As you gradually build the intensity, one useful trick is to follow a harder blow with a quick light rain of flutter strokes, right into the same area. These will distract the bottom from any overload (within reason) and take them back to the bottom space that has just been successfully processing light stuff. However, the harder blow will have done its work of moving the whole scene to a slightly higher level.
FURTHER CANING TECHNIQUE
If your warm up has opened the way for more powerful strokes, care must be taken. Canes may seem stiff, but a hard stroke can bend them ninety degrees and more, and a wraparound with a cane can be downright dangerous. Wraps are most common when a top goes to full power, after a well-aimed series of warmup or measuring strokes. The problem is in the top’s body dynamics: the momentum of the arm goes up exponentially with increased speed, so the whole body is pulled forward as a heavier stroke is delivered. The full-power stroke automatically reaches several inches further than the lighter stroke that was supposed to “gauge the distance”. It’s physics; you can’t keep it from happening, any more than you can walk on the ceiling. What you can do is allow for it, and train yourself to compensate. You can ease your feet back a bit, or pull your elbow or shoulder back as part of the swing. Or you can do as Mistress Nan Burrows recommends, and take your aiming stroke so that the cane tip lands in the middle of the far cheek, no further. This aiming point will land a full-power stroke that safely spans the full width of the buttocks and no furtherf you do wish to play with harder strokes, practice! Learn to pay close attention to where your cane is landing; this is how you learn to correct your aim. Mistress Nan advises a lot of practice on a cushion. There is a certain kind of upholstery that shows the stroke, but each blow shakes the surface and erases the trace of the preceding blow. Perfect feedback! The upholstery looks to be a kind of heavy-duty velvet; check thrift stores.
When you are ready to try powerful strokes on a human partner, try putting a cushion or blanket roll on the far side of them. This will catch a wraparound harmlessly. Be sure to confine hard strokes to the buttocks below the tailbone and the upper half of the thighs.
CANING AND OTHER PLEASURES
Sexual connections: perhaps a quarter of women, and a very few men, can actually get orgasms from the cane. I think this is incredibly hot, and it makes me very jealous! There will be others who may not actually climax, but get extremely turned on, which can offer a pleasant answer to the question of “what do we do next?”
The shock waves made by a cane are directional – they tend to continue through the target in the general direction the cane was moving when it hit. In fact, if you slide a hand under your partner’s thigh or belly, you can feel the shock of a medium cane stroke go right through them. The “sweet spot” in the lower butt, to either side of the crack, is sweet for this reason; blows here can send waves up into a whole complex of muscles, nerves, and engorged tissue that is directly involved with sexual excitement. Many bottoms will enjoy a steady rhythm of light or medium blows on the sweet spot – especially if they are angled to send their shock waves up and forward. At least one lady I know has called the effect a “rattan vibrator”.
One good sign of this sexual connection is a face-down bottom whose hips begin to rise and fall in a steady rhythm. You might try matching that rhythm, with light or medium strokes. Or use your other hand to massage the nerve points around the pelvic dimples and to either side of the last few inches of the spine.
POWER AND ROLEPLAY
Often when I do this, the scene is “pure S/M”, sensation for sensation’s sake. No roleplay, and no more power exchange than a massage. The concern for smoothness, the bottom’s comfort and welfare, and cooperation is difficult to reconcile with many of the traditional roles and scenarios, where the top and bottom play as adversaries. However, there are a few roles possible wherein the person who hits you is not an enemy!
Mentor/Ritualist: The top is a trainer, preparing and coaching the bottom for some ritual ordeal. Or passing on the secrets of mind control, wherein pain becomes ecstasy. Or trying to send the bottom on an astral observation of whatever, or a spirit journey, etc. Comrade: Who is preparing an agent, or coaching a fellow prisoner, to resist/survive an interrogation. (Of course, the interrogation can follow later, with the top moving into a new role, or new tops coming in for that part.) Science Fiction: The aliens whose ship crashed think they can recharge the damaged drive crystals, but only by tapping the energy mobilized in what turns out to be this scene. Some of these may sound hokey, but roleplay always sounds hokey to anyone who is not motivated toward that particular scenario. Find a script that works for you, and suspension of disbelief will come much more easily. Also, endorphins can lead many bottoms into a profound submissive space. If you enjoy serious D/S or role play, you may find this endorphin-oriented warmup offers a startlingly good beginning to a more psychological sort of scene.
Pick the right bullwhip for your Femdom play. Don’t buy an 18-plait, 14-foot kangaroo whip if you want something to play with in an apartment. Don’t expect people to happily jump in front of your 10-foot bullwhip so you can learn how to play with someone.
You do not need an expensive bullwhip; you do need a well-made one. Many beautifully braided bullwhips are mere costume pieces better left hanging on the wall, just because they do not function the way bullwhips are supposed to. The braiding should be tight enough to communicate the energy of the throw undissipated all the way from the handle to the cracker . While kangaroo is twice as strong and lighter than leather, it is twice as expensive. Which way you go is your choice. The price of a bullwhip is no indication of its quality.
Like all leather, keep your bullwhips dry. Condition it with tallow, a lanolin-beeswax based mixture.
Pick the right bullwhip for your purpose. A shorter bullwhip will force you into a stricter form, because it is faster than a longer bullwhip. Because it’s shorter, it’s also lighter, so you can practice longer with it before you tire yourself out. Working a long bullwhip is like doing bench presses with one arm. It’s easier to go from a shorter bullwhip to a longer one as your ability increases. A four-foot bullwhip can be used in a variety of situations, while a bullwhip up to 14 feet long will be accurate enough to play contact games with someone . Beyond that length, don’t try anything more elaborate than simple wraps around extended limbs.
PRACTICING
Once you’ve got your bullwhip, practice, practice, practice. Make sure the floor is clear of objects that might fly off like bullets if you strike them. Outside, rocks or pebbles can be launched like missiles if your bullwhip hits them. Since a bullwhip is a three-dimensional experience, make sure you have clearance in front, behind and above you.
Expect to smack yourself. Wear glasses, a hat, long sleeves. If you put your eye out, you won’t grow a new one, so protect what you have. Keep the bullwhip moving away from you; never crack it with a downward snap so the bullwhip flies toward your face. develop a repertoire of strokes: there are basically three: the overhead shot straight forward, the circus crack (an S-shape) and the helicopter spin over your head with a sudden reverse. Everything else is a variation on these strokes.
Concentrate on your form. It doesn’t take strength or power or speed to crack a whip: if your form is correct, the whip will crack. It wants to crack – it was made that way. Let it do its job.
Remember that using a bullwhip is a whole-body activity, not just a wrist-snap. Use a passive wrist, not an active wrist. Use your whole arm. Later, you can add a little wrist action to give an extra grace-note, but the foundation of the stroke will originate with your whole arm. Get that elbow away from your side, unless you like the idea of carpal tunnel surgery in your future.
Learn to weave your own crackers; it’s less expensive than buying them.
Play games to sharpen your skills: cut newspapers, crack between boxes on chairs without touching the boxes, wrap brooksticks and chair legs.
PLAYING
Never crack directly onto the skin at the point where the sound detonates, unless you want to risk cutting. When a Top wraps an arm, the bullwhip cracks above and behind the skin: once the bullwhip has cracked, the energy is expended and the momentum of the throw makes the bullwhip wrap like a snake around the arm. Good Tops can make the crack and wrap occur almost simultaneously. It’s scary, but it’s non-injurious.
You can play so the cracker hits the skin, if you use this same principle and make the crack occur before you hit flesh. The cracker brushes the skin on its way back – if you make the crack occur fairly close the the strike, the bottom believes it was simultaneous. Yes, you can use a whip to lay in a stroke for real, understanding that it will raise a welt or a blood blister. Use a thicker string for the cracker – a sharper one like silk is more likely to actually cut.
Even with bullwhip play, follow the precepts for other whip play: always warm the bottom up first, and stay away from kidneys and thin tissue areas, like joints. DON’T PLAY AROUND THE FACE. Understand that a bullwhip has a range of expressions available, not just a single speed and force. Make it a dance.
A shorter whip will be more precise for edge play like this. Keep the area clean; even if skin is not broken, you are still driving dirt into the skin. Keep the whip off the floor. Clean your whips between sessions.
The same safety rules for yourself apply to your bottom. Keep the whip moving away from his face. NO NECK WRAPS (leave this for the movies). Stay away from the eyes. Play as though this is the time you will screw up royally – that way you’ll play with the thought in the back of your mind that you will try to minimize the damage that will happen.
There it is. This is not the final word, or perhaps the best one, on the topic of single-tail whips. But what is here is true. At least you’ve now been told.