Category: How to ‘s & Techniques, & Guides for Femdom Styled Play

How to techniques,  guides & advice for Femdom & sexual practices

Posted on

Mummification

Femodm mummification

Basic mummification for Femdom use is fun,  easy and inexpensive, and can be a lot of fun as Femdom activity. It places the submissive/slave in a situation of powerlessness and sensory deprivation which allows him to float off, forget his problems, and offer his complete trust to the Domme. The Dominant gets enjoyment and satisfaction from his sense of total control, from the pleasure she is giving the bottom, and from activity she may initiate after the mummification is complete.

Here we will outline two simple ways to do a body mummification. The head can easily be wrapped in a variety of ways as well, but this will add considerably to the time because several precautions must be taken including making big holes (small holes might tend to close up) for the nostrils and mouth. These techniques will be left for a future page.

Table of Contents

Where to start

The most common method of mummifying is with Saranwrap (Glapwrap/plastic wrap). You’ll need about 75 feet of this (avoid thinner brands that keep tearing as you work) and a few yards of duct tape (silver is OK, but red and black are flashier, or pink for the cute little sissy boy). A head mask (pillow case also does nicely), two small balls of cotton, and an ace (elastic) bandage are optional. A second Top (or more, if they are in abundance) is very handy for keeping the bottom from falling. This is the sub’s greatest fear, and he must be reassured verbally as well as physically that this will not happen. If you are the only Top present, you have two choices: (1) wrap the sub down to his thighs, then lie him on a couch/bed (properly positioned nearby) to finish the legs OR (2) use a rope (attached to the ceiling) under each armpit to keep him vertically supported near a wall or column. Wrap him, affix him securely to the wall or column, then carefully slide the ropes out. That pressure under the arms cannot be sustained for long periods.

PRECAUTIONS

Most “rules” have exceptions if the Domme is knowledgeable and experienced. In this basic article, we will not discuss advanced elements such as using gags, catheters, or breathing tubes during a mummification. The following precautions can be violated only if you are very experienced with measures necessary to ensure the safety of the submissive.

  • 1. Have “safety scissors” or “Bandage scissors” on hand in case you must quickly cut the submissive out; please note that this is not a quick operation.
  • 2. Leave both nasal and mouth passages open to assure no breathing problems. Since he can’t move, check often to be sure he does not begin to choke.
  • 3. Be sure the bottom has urinated if the scene will be long.
  • 4. Put some type of padding (such as cotton) between the sub’s knees and ankles if they touch when his legs are together (e.g. if he is not wearing boots). Otherwise the tight bindings will eventually cause unwanted discomfort.
  • 5. For longer scenes, offer water to the him periodically to prevent his dehydration due excessive sweating. Have towels/blankets ready when you unwrap him.
  • 6. If he begins to panic, especially when in a head mask, comfort and reassure him as you quickly uncover his eyes and remove the mask. Having him count slowly from 10 to 1 out loud may restore calmer breathing.

WRAPPING for Femdom Mummifications

In this ‘basic’ we will put a head mask on the bottom, and let him wear his boots. While he holds his arms away from his body, lay the Saran wrap from his back diagonally over the near shoulder, across the far nipple, under the armpit and completely around the back to the front again, across the other nipple, and diagonally over the other shoulder. BUT as you start to cover each nipple, put a cotton ball there [optional], held in place by the wrap! (More about the cotton ball later.) Now, wrap each leg and arm separately, working downward; this is done so that skin never touches skin when finished. The wrap should be tight enough so as not to slip, with lots of overlapping. Note that it is easier to turn the roll if the Saran going on is between the body and the roll itself.

Next put his arms at his sides and his legs together (remember the padding if needed). Starting near the shoulders, wrap round and round, gradually descending. Having the bottom inhale and hold his breath while you wrap his chest allows for breathing room while he is bound. Leave the genitals exposed by twisting the wrap as you pass just above and just below them. Continue the wrap down to the boots (those into more elaborate scenes can even wrap each toe!).

To secure the wrap further, encircle his body with several (separate) strips of duct tape. Generally I use strips above and below the nipples, above and below the genitals (across the fingertips), above the knees, and above the boots or ankles. Using another colour, you might make beautiful diagonal “X”s across the chest and lower. Be sure no tape touches skin directly. Do not rush your mummification. Wrapping is a major event, not just a preliminary to a scene. It can easily take 30 minutes, and longer if you like, especially if accompanied by verbal commentary. Now to expose the nipples. Those cotton balls make it easy to break through the wrap. Press a paper clip into the cotton, rip off a circle of wrap, then pull the cotton out! You can attach favourite toys to nipples and genitals, or wrap the latter in an ace bandage.

Instead of duct tape, you might do an upper body “overwrap” (with front twists) using coloured wrap. You could also add rope decorations or make a rope harness. Use your ingenuity. You can attach him (securely!) to a column, play with him, or lie him down (perhaps with headphones) so he can float off while you go and cook a meatloaf. But keep checking on him for safety. An hour or two takes all his troubles away!

Another rather impressive way to wrap your mummy is in cloth. Horse supply stores often carry “Standing Bandages,” which look much like ace bandages. A package of 4 rolls, each 12 feet long, costs less than $20 (you’ll need 2 packages). Get the 4 inch width if possible. Black is especially stunning. You’ll have to remove some velcro fastenings, unfortunately but they are easily removed. If you have a black Spandex hood for the bottom, it will look extremely good here. Wrapping the shoulders is the hardest part. Put the centre part of a strip across his nipples, go under the armpits, cross in back and come up over the shoulders; now go under the nearest armpit, and over the nearest shoulder (closer to the neck), cross the chest and tuck the ends of the strip into the front (or back) wrapping.

Next wrap the legs downward (start high). Wrap the arms, but not too tight. Finally, wrap arms with body, and down the legs, as was done with the Saran wrap (tuck the end of each strip into previous wrapping, and eliminate the twists that were done with the Saran wrap near the genitals). Don’t use any duct tape, naturally, but red or white rope decoration makes a great topper.

Be sure to maintain support when you unwrap him (or cut him out of the Saran wrap with safety scissors), unless he is lying down. Unwrap slowly; too often the ending of a scene is not given the attention it deserves and requires. Remove his mask, but have him keep his eyes closed. Have toweling to dry him, as he might be sweating profusely. Hold him, hug him, gently talk him back to earth. If he wants you to rewrap him, tell him you’d have to iron the Saranwrap  He’ll just have to come back another time

TEN BASIC MUMMIFICATION PRINCIPLES

  • 1) Always determine if the bottom has experienced mummification before; claustrophobic tendencies; longest period in bondage and/or hood; and if the submissive has ever experienced panic during a scene. If the sub is a novice, consider covering the face last.
  • 2) Always determine if the submissive has any medical conditions, particularly allergies, asthma, congestion, diabetes, high blood pressure, etc. as well as any alcohol, drug or medication usage within 24 hours of the mummification. If the sub wears contacts, they should be removed.
  • 3) Be sure to have the following items nearby for the scene: safety scissors for emergency removal of the wrappings; electric fan and ice to keep the body cool; and towels to remove sweat.
  • 4) Monitor the sub’s body temperature and pulse. Take a baseline pulse before you begin. Use ice and a fan to cool the body if necessary.
  • 5) NEVER leave the mummy unattended.
  • 6) Use a towel or foam splints to place between the legs, arms and torso, or wherever two body parts come into contact.
  • 7) Do not wrap any body part so tightly that it begins to tingle, feels cold or “goes to sleep”. Check the fingers for signs of blueness.
  • 8) When wrapping the chest, be sure the mummy expands the chest cavity, so the wrappings do not constrict breathing. When wrapping the neck, apply the pieces vertically (up and down) to avoid strangulation.
  • 9) Provide cool water (with a straw) often to prevent dehydration.
  • 10) Provide appropriate aftercare for the submissive. If overheated, apply ice.
  • 11) ok I lied it’s 11..Have fun !!! Play with you ideas find what feels right for YOU !!!!

Resource Article : MissBitch and MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Posted on

Wax Melting Temperature

Wax play: Pure paraffin wax melts at around 54 to 57 degrees Celsius. Adding stearine makes the wax harder and melt at a higher temperature. Adding mineral oil (baby oil) makes the wax softer and melt at a lower temperature.

Soft candles in glass jars (called votive candles) usually have mineral oil in their blend and burn cooler at around 49 degrees Celsius, Pillar candles are mostly paraffin and burn warmer at around 60 degrees Celsius. A good source for votive candles is internet church supplies companies.

naked man covered in melted wax

Taper candles have lots of stearine and burn hotter still at around 71 degrees Celsius. Beeswax candles burn about 5 Celsius degrees hotter than equivalent paraffin candles. Although there are many web sites that repeat the same advice that color additives make candles burn hotter, actual experiments performed by two different researchers show that this is usually not the case. Increasing, the distance the wax falls by 1 meter will drop the temperature about 5 degrees at the risk of splatter.
If ordinary candles are too hot, a special wax blended with a high concentration of mineral oil (baby oil) can be heated to lower temperatures in a crock pot or double boiler. Votive candles mixed with baby oil melt a much lower temperature and can be poured directly onto the skin without risk of causing burns.

Wax may pool and concentrate heat. Temperatures listed above only apply when wax is in equilibrium. Wax heated in any sort of pot must be stirred vigorously or there can be dangerous temperature variations. Some people may be allergic to perfumes and dyes. Whatever is above a burning candle can get very hot, even at distances that may be surprising. Candles may break and set fire to objects underneath or nearby. Do not leave candles burning unattended, particularly when you go to sleep. Wax is difficult to wash out of clothes and bed linens. People with certain diseases, skin conditions, or taking certain medications may require additional precautions.

Resource Article : MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Related Articles:

Wax play – Femdom Wax play without burning down the house.

Posted on

Wax Play

body with colored wax dripped over

Table of Contents

Why Wax play?

Many people have played with a bit of candle wax at one time or another in their lives. Maybe by putting a finger in the pool of wax at the top of a candle. Maybe by catching a drip of wax on their skin by accident. Maybe even by dripping a bit of wax on themselves on purpose. Well, it’s the intentional wax play we’re going to talk about here. So if you’re interested in playing with wax on a partner, or even if you just want to play with some on yourself, we have a few bits of advice we’d like to pass along to get you started on the right path. If it turns you on–or might turn you on–to drip molten wax from a burning candle onto the pink and delicate bits of your partner

here are a couple of things to remember if you are going combine wax play into your Femdom lifestyle

  • 1 test it out first on yourself. Drip wax from the candle onto the back of your hand to work out the right height needed for the best effect for more sensitive areas the back of the wrist or inner thigh or forearm.
  • 2 Always test a new candle on yourself different candles produce different heats, Beeswax for instance has a higher melting point which means a greater heat is produced so would be best avoided unless you really know and understand its potential. It has the potential to cause serious burns Additives do make a difference in the temperature of the candle’s wax, but the ones to watch out for are hardeners such as those used in drip less candles. Often the most expensive candles are the ones that burn with the highest degree of heat, for a beginner you will want to start with cheap, paraffin based ones (simple white paraffin candles) Be careful when dripping wax on regions where you already left wax – these spots cool down slower and you can seriously hurt you partner.

Basic Safety Tips

Make sure you keep your candles and/or crock pot on a level, stable surface. Keep ice, cold towels and a bowl of water nearby. Make sure you have a fire extinguisher handy. Be very careful about lingerie, as some items will melt or burn, sticking to the skin and causing serious burns. Anything with nylon, vinyl, pvc, patent leather, etc. can be a problem. Of course having your partner naked usually solves this problem. Keep your basic first aid kit handy and read up on simple burns just in case you need to handle one (competently).

Preparation Tips

Oiling the skin before waxing someone makes removal easier later. Massage oils seem to stay cooler than baby oil which gets hot under wax. Remember that if your partner is hairy you’ll really want to use oil unless a painful hair removal scene is part of the plan another idea is waxing or hair removal is not an option is to cover you sub first in Gladwrap (cling wrap/saran wrap). Test your candles to see how long they take to develop a pool of wax so you’ll know how far in advance you may need to light them.

Crock Pots / Fondue Pots

These are great for melting large quantities of wax all at once. The ones with temperature control knobs and dials are ideal (but check that their controls are accurate). Usually the lowest setting is all you’ll need. Grocery stores and hardware stores in your area may carry bulk wax, if not then a craft store should have it. Once you have a nice pot of melted wax you can work on getting the colors you want by adding some melted Crayola crayons to the mix (these are non-toxic). Be aware that some darker colors may stain the skin for a few days. Also remember that pouring or brushing a lot of wax on someone all at once is more intense than dripping it on slowly. The sensations from this will also take longer to subside as it takes longer for the wax to cool.

play hints

Ice cubes can be used to confuse a blindfolded partner, giving them cold when they expect heat. Although actually they may find it hard to distinguish between the two, particularly the longer the scene goes on. Ice can also help lift the wax off the skin later. Other removal tool ideas include using ice scrappers, fingernails. You can also whip, paddle, spank or flog the wax off, but remember that the skin under the wax may be very sensitive. Peeling the wax off, can be as much fun as dropping it. As it pulls away from the skin, the sensation is very intense, and running a feather or even a tongue over this sensitized skin is a very sexy way to prolong the waxing session.. While some people use brushes to apply wax from their crock pot, one thing I like to do is to apply the wax with my own hands. If you can stand the heat, then coating your hands with melted wax and touching, stroking, gripping your partner’s flesh with them creates some interesting sensations…for both of you. Another thing you may want to do is combine a _short_ Saran warp mummification session with the waxing. Doing this at the end of a long waxing will cause your partner’s body temperature to rise and it will make them sweat profusely. If you began by oiling their skin before the waxing then this will make the wax just about fall off them when you unwrap them. A flea comb can be used to remove wax from hair soak the area in in oil first. An old credit card for scrapping may also be of use…it has flex and will not damage you subs now tender skin.

Clean Up Tips

Drop cloths are a good thing. Disposable ones make things easy, but if you have an old plastic coated shower curtain liner these work pretty well too. Remember that if you get wax on clothing or cloth drop cloths you’ll need to remove as much as you can before trying to clean them. Wax will clog your shower drains and your washing machine (household appliances can’t consent so try not to abuse them). An iron and some wax paper, or a brown paper bag or newspaper can be used to remove wax from carpets (though stains from colored wax may remain).Melting temps of wax

Resource Article : MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Related Articles:

Wax melting temps – Burn the wax not the sub how to get it right first time every time

Posted on

Shaving

Table of Contents

Guide to Genital Shaving

One of the most discussed subjects, when it comes to BDSM/Femdom, is genital shaving. Go read any popular discussion list or newsgroup – every so often the subject will pop up again. There are many different ideas and opinions on shaving. In this section we’ll try to outline what can and cannot be done, and how to do it safely and manageability.

pubic hair with a tattoo of a man mowing the lawn

The very basics first

There are various techniques to temporarily or permanently remove pubic hair. We’ll describe all of them in this section, but let’s start at the very beginning. (Note: there’s very little difference between the male and female genital area when it comes to shaving, with one major exception: shaving the male genital area is a lot more work and -especially when doing it yourself – the risk of self-inflicted cuts is higher.) For starters,

let’s dispel a few urban legends:

  • When you shave your hair, it will grow back faster – Nope, the growth process will neither speed up, nor will it slow down, it’ll just grow as it did before. And by the way, especially in the genital area, hair breaks and is pulled out all the time as a result of friction. The follicles (where the hair grows) can’t see or feel if you shave.
  • A hair -no matter what commercials may try to tell you – is dead material. It doesn’t feel, it doesn’t register anything and it doesn’t keep records of previous treatment. The fact of the matter is that as you grow older the body hair in some areas may grow a little faster – and longer – but that’s only the result of redundant genetic encoding. When you shave your hair will become thicker – Also not true. Again, this may be the result of the aging process (between 20 and 50).
  • Shaving creates ingrown hairs – If this was true, the vast majority of men would spend half their lives treating ingrown hair, since they shave every day. Ingrown hair is the result of poor shaving (not close enough), poor maintenance (not frequent enough) or regrowing it on purpose but with insufficient care. Yes, you do need to care for pubic hair in the event you want to grow it back.

There are various reasons for the fact that genital shaving is probably one of the most widespread habits in the BDSM community . In fact, in some countries and areas, shaving a submissive is almost general custom. First of all this: bear in mind that there are no general rules. You and only you are the master of your own sexuality and as always: if you don’t want it, don’t do it. And if you want to do it “differently”? Do it differently. The main attraction in shaving is the sense of vulnerability. The human skin – especially in the genital area – suddenly becomes very soft and the feeling is totally different. Plus: the view is totally different 

Another main attraction is the fact that to many submissives a shaven genital area is a secret sign of submission. Both partners know about it, the sub feels it every day, maintaining it is an act of submission and a powerful reminder, and you can do it without anybody else knowing about it. Quite a few people do it for hygienic reasons. Especially if you have genital piercings shaving the area is a very good idea.Finally, to many people there is the aspect of subtle humiliation. In ancient Egypt and Greece prostitutes were obliged to shave, both for hygienic reasons and as a clear signal of their profession.

A few things to consider before shaving the genitals

Every body is different and hence all body hair is different. Some have a lot, others have less, colors are different and growing characteristics are different. What this means is that in your individual case things may not always be as the general aspects described here. For example, some people will grow their body hair back very fast, while, for others, it will take a long time. For this reason, efforts to remove pubic hair in a more permanent way may not be easy and sometimes even entirely impossible.

One thing is obvious though: unless you opt for permanent removal, shaving is something that you will need to do regularly – sometimes even daily – if you’re planning to keep the surface smooth. As every 14 or 15 year old boy knows: once you start to shave there is no turning back, unless you’re planning to grow a beard.

The other thing is that you’ll need to invest in special shaving equipment and care products. What’s suitable for other areas, such as face, legs or armpits, won’t always be suitable for the genital area. And that goes for both men and women.Genital shaving.

Guide to Genital submissive Shaving

As we said, the basics for male and female shaving are largely identical, we’ll do the female part first.

Razor shaving

This option is very likely to set you up with a daily task. Of course there are many reasons why such a task can be a lot of fun – but there are a few other things to consider. What may be appealing now may not be after three, four or five weeks. Especially people with online relationships quickly get bored with a daily time consuming shaving task.

The first time

There is of course the option to either self-shave or the Domme doing the first shave. No matter what your choice will be, the technical stuff is identical:

  • Step one: Don’t even try to remove pubic hair with just a razor. You need to clip it first, using a pair of sharp scissors. Make sure you remove as much hair as possible with the scissors. If you don’t you won’t be shaving but only pulling out the longer hairs during the actual shaving, which is painful and quickly blunts your razor. That again will make the shaving process more painful and less effective.
  • Step Two: After the hair has been cropped as much as possible you need to prepare for shaving. In order to both achieve a very close shave – i.e. a smooth surface and prevent pimples and irritated skin later, you’ll do well to prepare yourself before you shave. The best idea – if you have a tub – is to take a long hot bath now and make sure the area (and the hair) is soft and smooth. Your next best option is a hot shower with a lot of attention for the soon-to-be shaved area. The more water you use, the better. After bathing or showering, dry yourself, including the area and wait a few minutes in order to allow the skin to recuperate a bit.
  • Step Three: the actual shaving. GENEROUSLY apply shaving cream. Forget about all of the male shaving creams. If you cannot find specialized creams for female shaving (there are lots of them available for almost all skin types) resort to the mildest (non-perfumed) male variety. Don’t even try just using soap (as is customary in many medical environments. It is a totally unsuitable method for genital shaving).

As you can see, you need to prepare – and probably do some dedicated shopping prior to the first shave.

That goes for the razor you’re planning to use as well. Warning: appealing or not, the old fashioned switch-blade razor is totally unsuitable for genital shaving and in fact dangerous. The same goes for disposable razors. What you need is safety razor, designed for female use. The Wilkinson Sword female razor is your best choice by miles. Not only is the design tailored to the curves on the female body (and the grip tailored to use in a “wet” environment since female shaving always requires a lot more water than the male – facial – shaving process), also the lades itself are protected by thin steel wires, which will make it next to impossible to cut yourself.

Pull the skin straight with your free hand and shave without applying pressure. Move the razor slowly over the skin, preferably in the counter-direction of the hair. Just one pass probably will not do the trick. You may want to shave the same area two or three times before it is totally smooth. Keep applying shaving cream, as much as you can and have some alum readily available, just in case you draw a little blood. Step Four: When the shaving is done again wash generously with a lot of warm water. Make sure you wash all the hair and soap away. Step Five: No you’re not there yet – you need aftercare. Soft baby oil will do wonders if you want to keep your skin smooth and soft and prevent pimples from coming up. If you have tender skin, aloevera cream (preferably with Vitamin E added to it) or a dedicated aftercare product (for women – male aftershave usually bites terribly and will only make things worse). Once shaved, make it habit to protect your now shaven mons and labia (outside) with creams or baby oil.

NOTE: If you’re planning to have sex and need to use a condom to protect yourself, you will now need to protect the condom. The oil used in the genital area will make the rubber deteriorate and hence unreliable, so you need to wash prior to having sex. Maintenance

Once shaven you’ll do yourself a big favor by making it a habit to shave daily. That way maintenance will be easy and a relatively simple job. It’s entirely possible that your skin will need to adjust to the regular shaving and the area may be irritated for awhile. Once accustomed, the skin will adapt to the “abuse” and the irritation will go away. Use creams or oil daily and always be generous with water and shaving cream.

Oh, before we forget: your Lady Shave or a male electric razor are NOT suitable for use in the pubic area. Not good for you and not good for your shaver either.

Besides razor shaving there are of course other options. So here we go.

Hair removal creams

Not all hair removal products are suitable for use in the genital area. Most of them are simply too aggressive. A mild form, like Veet Mild, may do the trick but not all women can handle that and will show allergic reactions in the genital area. If you have no problem with hair removal creams in other areas, you may want to give it a try. The main advantage is that it requires less intensive maintenance.

Always test hair removal products on a harmless spot, to check for possible allergic reactions. The inside of the elbow is a good spot to test. If your skin turns red or if the spot stays itchy longer than it should (most hair removal products will cause an itchy feeling for ten to twenty minutes when used in a tender area), don’t use it in the genital area.

After using a hair removal cream in the genital area, wash generously, using lots and lots of warm water and apply aftercare products or baby oil. Again, you’ll need to care for the now soft skin daily.

Other hair removal products, such as waxing, are not suitable unless you’re a real pain freak.

Some women have had good experiences with a new product called Epil Stop, but again, the results are determined individually. Epil Stop is a semi-permanent hair removal cream. The effect will last longer than other hair removal products and eventually the hair is supposed to stop growing entirely, but that will not always be true for everybody.

Electrolysis

Electrolysis is a permanent form of hair removal through – very mild – electric shocks,. The method itself is totally safe but has various disadvantages.First of all, there are different methods: one – done in salons only – is to use a needle shaped device that is put into the follicle and will kill the hair root there. The other is a pincer that grabs an individual hair and sends a very mild shock through it. The effectiveness of the method is individually determined but there is a huge price difference. A professional salon treatment (done in a series of treatments) is expensive and may have to be repeated several times. Buying a personal device yourself is a lot cheaper and if you’re looking for (semi)permanent removal you may want to opt simply for financial reasons.

It’s hard to give a good cost estimate when it comes to salon electrolysis, simply because different salons have different prices. However, don’t be surprised if the entire treatment costs well over a thousand dollars. The advantage of course is that you can do it in sessions, hence you do not have to come up with the entire amount up front. Good advice if you’re planning electrolysis is first of all check out a few different salons, and second, start with the bikini line first and work downward. This way you won’t be stuck with a rather awkward half-bald mons. Both methods are not completely painless (in fact the professional methods are frequently painful) and some women may need several repeat treatments before the hair growth is stopped. Also, it may lead to red irritation spots that will last for a long time.

Electrolysis requires pre- and aftercare.

If you’re planning to opt for a salon treatment, ask about creams that help reduce the pain and that will make the hair softer, hence easier to remove. Good aftercare after each treatment will help the healing process of the skin. Ask the salon about aftercare. It’s important.

Pulling

If you have a patient dominant, pulling the hair out one by one certainly is an option, but be aware that it will take several sessions and that it’s not exactly painless.

Fun designs

shaving designs

Especially if this is your first time, you may want to think about trying a design shave ,i.e. not a full genital shave but instead just something creative, such as leaving a single top to bottom streak or a small triangle.

It really isn’t that difficult to do and can be a lot of fun.

Male genitals – shaving differences

As we said, what applies to women largely applies to men as well. That goes for methods too, although very few men will opt for electrolysis, mainly due to the sensitivity of the scrotum (the penis doesn’t really care). It’s not impossible, just a bit more painful and the process takes a lot longer, hence will be more expensive too.

Razor shaving male genitals

Shaving the male genital area is a LOT more work and difficult, especially if you’ve never done it before. It might take you up to an hour to do it the first time. You need a special razor (the male version of the Wilkinson Sword again is your best bet) and either a female or very mild shaving cream. Don’t be unnecessarily macho and make sure you invest in aftercare. And no, don’t try using your electric razor. It won’t work and it WILL hurt.

  • The easiest way to shave your scrotum is to start at the bottom.
  • Pull up everything with one hand and start shaving from in between your legs upward. Be very careful around the center of the scrotum, since your skin is exceptionally tender there.
  • Next do both sides and finally concentrate on the top of your scrotum, preferably before working on and above your penis. By doing it this way you’ll have the most difficult parts done first. (Note: men, same as women, will be wise to make the shaving process a daily task, which will keep maintenance a lot simpler.) Worth considering: most men (as opposed to women) will have a lot less trouble using a mild hair removal product such as Veet Mild.

Two more hints for everyone:

DON’T try coloring your pubic hair. Most of the time it won’t work very well anyway and it can also be unhealthy. If you want a ‘color-for-the-night,’ try using hair mascara or glitter instead.You can make your pubic hair softer by using conditioner in the same way you would use a conditioner for your head hair. This is worth doing for at least a week or two before your first shave.

Resource Article : MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Related Articles:

Posted on

CBT in Femdom play

Ball Torture (BT) refers to a range of techniques to cause sensation, discomfort and pain in the male testicles and scrotum. Common examples are squeezing with hands, slapping and beating with hands and other objects, crushing using various vice-like devices and applying pressure with bindings, straps and weights are favorite techniques. Often found in conjunction with cock torture (CT), thus CBT.

Table of Contents

What’s the Thrill of CBT?

As most men know, the balls are highly sensitive, particularly to pressure. Most men find handling, stroking and squeezing gently is a pleasurable sensation in itself, and the boundary between strong sensation and outright pain seems particularly malleable here. For many people there is also the thrill that the balls are regarded as probably the most delicate and vulnerable part of the male anatomy and using them in SM games requires great trust and carries a particularly intense charge.

Anatomy For CBT in Femdom Play

Penis anatomy

The scrotum is a loose, flexible bag of skin that contains the testicles (the ‘balls’), two bean-shaped organs of fibrous material covering soft gland tissue in which sperm is produced. Plentiful pressure-sensitive nerves in the testicles account for their extreme sensitivity to blows or squeezing. A ridge on the outside of each testicle, known as the epidymis, extends up to form a lump on top and contains tubules that transfer sperm. Attached to the top, next to the epidymis, is the spermatic cord, an elastic tissue that connects the testicles to the rest of the body and contains the vas deferens, the duct between the epidymis and the penis. Since sperm production requires a lower temperature than the normal body temperature, the testicles usually hang outside the body, but the spermatic cord can draw them up into the body when cold. The scrotum also contains some fluid.

What to Use For CBT

Hands are the obvious weapons: precisely controllable and always available. Slap (gently), punch (more gently), or flick with finger backs, and carefully squeeze with the fingers. Get the balls in the bottom of the scrotum, then twist the scrotum around above them to prevent them slipping out of your fingers. Probably the second most popular items are ball bondage toys. Cords, ropes, laces and bandages can all be wrapped in various ways around the balls to stretch the scrotal skin, force balls apart or together and put pressure on individual balls. A classic basic tie is a loop around the base of both cock and balls, a loop around the neck of the scrotum and then a loop between the balls to force them apart. Leather and fetish shops usually have a range of (usually leather, sometimes rubber or neoprene) toys with various arrangements of straps purpose made for ball bondage, for example: Cock and ball straps and dividers anchor the balls in place round the root of the scrotum and cock and pass around the scrotum vertically to separate the balls.

Ball stretchers are straps of various sizes that go around the top of the scrotum horizontally, forcing the balls down into the stretched sac. Alternatives are bandages, ropes or leather thongs which can be gradually wrapped round to increase the pressure. Just a modest strap around the top of the scrotum will have the additional effect of trapping the balls and preventing them slipping out of range. Parachutes are parachute-shaped devices with a hole in the middle for the scrotum to pass through, with the parachute itself resting on top of the balls. Ball weights are then hung from chains below the parachute. Weights can also be hung from arrangements of chain or rope. Be very careful with weights: some men can work up to hanging quite large weights from their balls, but there is some danger to the practise. Weights of 500g-1.5kg (1-3 lbs) should be enough to give sensation and be safe.

As well as weights, light objects that move can be hung from balls. A London top has experimented with dangling a spherical jumping toy from Toys R Us in a string bag attached to ball bindings or parachute.

Crushing the balls can be achieved with various clamps or bondage equipment like cling film (saran wrap) or elastic bandages (Ace bandages). DeBlase says he has read “of an American Indian torture that involved soaking a piece of rawhide and then sewing it up to tightly encase a victim’s scrotum. As it dries, it shrinks, increasing pressure” (1993:17). He also speculates about experimenting with an inflatable blood pressure cuff, and suggests putting gravel inside the elastic bandages to add abrasion to the repertoire of ball techniques. Toys for beating need to be fairly light and delicate. An ordinary pencil is quite adequate, especially for rapid light strokes on a well-secured ball. Some people use a small, soft cat o’nine tails called a ball whip. One source of hard objects suitable to the task is music shops: try bell-beaters designed for playing hand-held cowbells, or mallets topped with dense rubber balls of the sort used to play glockenspiels and chime bars! Other specialist techniques could be applied to the balls. See elastrators, electricity, play piercing, shaving.

Health and Safety

The key thing to remember is that levels of tolerance vary enormously. When you’re playing with anyone new, always start out lightly with any kind of stimulation to the balls and increase the intensity gradually. With an established partner or in “self-abuse,” you can safely begin at a higher level and move faster, but you should still be very sensitive to his (or your own) reactions as you go along. Probably the single most important danger signal in this area is intense and often rapidly increasing pain, so the bottom must be able to let the top know unmistakably when he’s had enough. In the vast majority of cases, a bottom whose consciousness is not dulled by alcohol or drugs will have no difficulty in distinguishing between a level of pain that is erotically stimulating and pain that signals real damage. Probably the most common form of genitorture involves pressure exerted by “ball crushers,” the hands, or weights. While even a heavy, experienced masochist is almost certain to beg for relief well before damage is done through steady pressure alone, if you have any doubt whether you’re injuring him, stop.

Ball stretchers aren’t hazardous within reasonable limits, but don’t get impatient and overdo. Begin with a narrow stretcher band and work up to wider ones gradually, carefully monitoring the bottom’s (or your own) acceptance of the increasing pressure. Do not leave the any genital bindings on too long and certainly not overnight – a good rule of thumb is to remove them every 20 or 30 minutes and allow the circulation to return to normal for a while. See the Cock Torture briefing for more on the dangers of circulation blockage in cock and ball play. Much more potentially hazardous is any bondage in which the balls are tied to something else, such as another part of the body or a hook on wall or floor, and might be yanked by a sudden movement: for instance, if you tie a rope or attach a chain between his ankles and his scrotum so that if he tries to move his legs he pulls on his balls. Don’t combine this kind of bondage with any other strong stimulation that might cause him to yank on his balls involuntarily, in reaction to pain elsewhere, unless he’s otherwise so tightly restrained he cannot move enough to put pressure on them. And never tie someone by the balls to a wall, post, etc. in a standing position without additional support: he could lose his balance or feint and put his whole bodyweight on them.

The most common injuries to the balls during genitorture are abrasions (usually from rough-surfaced bindings, such as rawhide or scratchy rope), bruises (usually from slapping or whipping the balls), and tiny cuts (which might happen in any rough play when the scrotum is pulled tight over the balls, or during a shaving), minor injuries best treated with sensible first aid such as cleaning with antiseptic. Bruises generally heal by themselves, though an ice pack can limit swelling. Medical intervention is not usually necessary unless the bruising doesn’t fade normally or you suspect an infection.

More serious is a hematoma, which occurs when an injury ruptures larger, deeper blood vessels and a pool or pocket of blood forms between layers of tissue, such as between the scrotum and the balls. The pocket of blood will generally clot in a short time and form a hard mass. Externally, it will appear as a firm, bulging, or swollen area. A small hematoma will usually be reabsorbed without lasting damage. One that is large or keeps growing (because fresh blood keeps accumulating) can “squeeze” adjacent structures, including nerves and blood vessels, reducing circulation to the area and impairing sensation and other functions. If the pressure of a large hematoma is not relieved, permanent damage can result. Prompt medical attention is indicated.

In men who are predisposed to them, minor injuries to the balls can precipitate subsequent swellings, called hydroceles or spermatoceles, in which fluids other than blood build up in the space around the testicles. They can be corrected at one’s convenience unless they become infected, in which case prompt treatment is required. Another problem to watch out for is an epididymal cyst; this is not typically caused by trauma but if you notice any unexplained swelling or mass in your partner’s scrotum, or your own, do not engage in such play until you know it is harmless or have it corrected. Also, avoid ball bondage entirely with anyone who has a scrotal hernia. Probably the most serious damage that might occur to the balls during erotic genitorture – which is not to say that it’s likely – is rupture of a testicle. This is when the outer covering of the ball splits and allows the contents to spill out into the scrotal sac. Besides causing extreme pain, often accompanied by nausea, a ruptured testicle will make the scrotum swell rapidly, and internal bleeding will nearly always create a large hematoma.

The ballsac will appear black and blue and be massively enlarged. If this happens, go to an emergency room immediately! The most likely causes are suddenly yanking on the balls or hitting them with a heavy, blunt instrument. Symptoms similar to rupture occur in cases of testicular torsion, which is when the spermatic cords and vessels that suspend the testicle within the scrotum become twisted or kinked, interrupting the normal flow of blood, etc. There will be intense pain, and the scrotum will swell rapidly and be extremely tender to the touch. Surgery must be done within six hours of the onset of pain or the testicle will be lost.

Health and Safety advice consists of edited extracts from the “Bond-Aid” column in Bound & Gagged magazine, Issues 30 and 31 by David Stein with Richard Sommers MD; © copyright 1992 David Stein. Used by permission of the author. Imgs: MissBonnie & MissBitch

Related Articles:

CBT Ideas – Cock and ball torture ideas, suggestions and hints.

Genitorture – 20 CBT techniques, hints and tips

Still looking for more we have Video tutorial resources in the Community for the Ladies!

Posted on

Anal Play

A Beginner’s Guide to the basics

Whether you’re trying to convince someone to have anal sex or trying to figure out how to do it in a gentle, pain free manner, there’s no better preparation that exploring anal play with yourself.

Just remember MissBonnie and MissBitchs Anal mantra when it comes to anal play:

“Communication, lubrication, and relaxation.”

Femdom Anal play

Table of Contents

General overview and safety

For various reasons anal play or sex – yes, there is a difference -appeals to many people who are into the many forms of erotic power exchange, and Femdom/ BDSM. Although personal motivations may vary, the need for the submissive to actively cooperate as well as the fact that many people have a mental barrier here are the most common factors for this subject’s popularity. Anal play is certainly not without risks, so you should be very aware of what you are doing. When you understand and know how to minimize them, the risks are minimal.

The first thing to be aware of every time you enter into it is that anal contact is HIV-risk number 1. If you are playing with a partner you do not know, just met, or are having a one night stand with – and possibly most important – if you have a bisexual partner – take all precautions necessary. Maybe you have heard this before but the time required for HIV to be discovered varies from person to person and can be as long as seven years. In other words, having known each other for three months is no guarantee for protection…so protect yourself.

There are five different forms of anal play and the differences as well as the effects can to a large extent be compared to vaginal play:

  • penis/anus contact
  • finger- and/or fist play
  • using toys
  • rimming
  • enemas

Don’t worry, we’ll get to the differences. First. Let’s try to clarify some other – more general – aspects.

Shame

Anal play is nothing to be ashamed of, although many, many people are. We started it in our earliest childhood. In fact it is generally acknowledged as the first sexually related exploration every baby does and even some fetuses do it prior to birth. Let’s face it, the odor of plain shit – but called “musk” – is used in almost every perfume and even more so in male cosmetics because it is generally known as sexually appealing. For you animal lovers out there: the scent is derived from the musk plant, not the deer. Any biologist will explain that in all mammals, the genitals and the anus were deliberately placed close together, simply because the smell of the one points the way to the other. So, if you like it, or feel attracted to it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.

Plus, the anus is an erogenous zone by itself, whether you like it or not. Stimulating it will cause sexual arousal and feeling somebody “touching your vagina from the outside” (which is one of the effects) is an amazing sensation for a woman.

Kinsey – the sexologist best know for his extensive research of the sexual behavior of both men and women – said it as follows: “The contractions of the buttocks reflect, more than any one factor, the development of the tensions involved in erotic arousal.” The buttock muscles are among the strongest in the human body and they come into play during almost any form of sexual intercourse and even masturbation – especially for women. Some women even masturbate just by contracting and relaxing muscles and these include the “back door”. In the event you thought anal sexual attraction is just for a few, Kinsey – in his extensive research – found that fifty (!) percent of both men and women had had some experience with anal stimulation or anal intercourse. More recent research in the USA shows that some ten percent of the heterosexual couples regularly have anal intercourse.

The anal and vaginal region and the penis share the same nerve roots and this is the physiological explanation for the sexual attraction of the anus. And – coming back to erotic power exchange – anal play and intercourse to many has strong connotations with terms of dominance and submission.

Forms of play

Penis/anal penetration – For the man the main advantage of penetrating the anus with his penis is that the anus is not only very narrow, but also the circular muscle round it is much stronger. As a result he will feel much more sensation, compared to penetrating the relatively soft and receptive vagina. The vaginal contractions he feels only during the female orgasm is what he feels constantly while penetrating the anus. To the majority of those being analy penetrated the attraction is in two things: one being the “giving” of this to their partner and of course the stimulation itself.

Finger play and fisting – Stimulating the anus with fingers, although desirable all by itself, causes very relaxing feelings when done carefully, and is mainly foreplay to something else: either anal intercourse or anal fisting. If anal play is new to someone, they may have trouble relaxing the anal sphincter muscle. To break through this mostly mental block, they may require gentle massage and training to open up. (For information on fisting use the link provided later).

Toys

Toys are mainly used as devices to train the anus for further play. To avoid all sorts of unwanted mishaps, please only use specially designed toys (like butt plugs) for this purpose and not, for example vibrators. Apart from this, vibrators and dildos are usually too stiff for the anus. Toys for anal play should be very flexible, made from latex or silicone (which is a different type of silicone than used for plastic breast surgery). Rimming – Rimming is stimulating the anus with your tongue. The technique can be compared to oral stimulation of the vagina. Enemas – An enema is technique where (usually) fluid is brought into the bowels to force them to expell their content. This may be used for various purposes – cleaning before fisting, as a punishment, humiliation, training and sexual arousal, all of course depending on your own preferences.

General precautions

The use of latex gloves when using your hands is a must, to protect yourself, to protect your partners, their insides and for hygienic reasons. Never move your hands, fingers, penis or toys from the anus to the vagina without thoroughly washing them first!

Cover your penis and toys with condoms at all times, to protect yourself, your partners and your toys.

When penetrating a partner you do not know well, use a double or even a triple condom and do buy condoms designed for anal play (GaySafe for example).

Item number two in any form of anal play is lubricant. Lots of it. Don’t be shy about using lube! Be as generous as you can and add repeatedly, especially during finger play and fisting. Always use water based lubricant only. Oil based lubricants, as well as butter (don’t laugh, this is still frequently used) will ruin latex and render your protection useless.

Rimming without dental dams is outright unsafe unless you have been married or lived together for a long time and have had sex only with each other.

Before finger play or fisting – even when wearing gloves – file your nails to avoid damaging tissue. Run the pad of your thumb around each nail, if can feel your nails at all the odds are you’ll cut your partner…or your glove. File them again.

Wash thoroughly before and after. Some people prefer the use of enemas before anal play to clean out the area. The best way to do this is the old-fashioned way. Use an enema bag and fill it with about a mug full of lukewarm water or milk, or buy a Fleets enema kit at the store (USA -brand names in Europe may vary). Never ever buy an enema kit from a sex boutique. No matter what they tell you – use the correct and safe equipment or none at all!

Health risks

  • 1. Additionally, the following things are best NOT done:
  • 2. Anal play during illness of any kind. using objects or toys that were not specifically designed for anal use.
  • 3. applying force of any kind (the anus will swallow your finger, even fist, or toys, all by itself).
  • 4. Anal sex should be avoided if one has hemorrhoids, infections or small wounds around the anal area for various reasons. One is the HIV risk, another is that your movements around the area may spread bacteria from the inside to the outside and last but not least, it usually hurts too much.
  • 5. Except for the HIV-risk, ejaculating inside is not a problem at all.

The inside story

The intestines are anything but straight. The rectum (the part just before the anal opening) ends in a sharp, ninety degree upward curve. (For some of you this is why you cannot get all of your penis in). If you attempt to push past this turn, you will only cause tremendous pain, for both yourself and for your partner.

When penetrating with your fingers or fist remember this turn is the second hurdle you have to take, which requires just as much attention, ease and patience as the anus itself. The upward turn has a second ring of muscle around it (which is what holds the feces inside) and this one needs to be relaxed as well. Also, remember that whereas the vagina is literally a dead end, the intestines are not and this is the main reason to use only toys designed for this kind of play. They are designed in such a way that they cannot accidentally slip inside and disappear. Should this happen anyway, please do not hesitate to visit your doctor or the nearest emergency room. It may come out by itself, but there is no certainty here. Yes, if it happens it is embarrassing, but do remember that doctors and nurses have seen it all before and are only there to help you (which is what they will do) not to judge you.

The inside of the intestines has very delicate lining that is damaged easily, a good reason to wear gloves at all times. Fingernails can do a lot of damage but so can rough or unexpected movements

Getting in and out

Femdom anal play take time. Getting in takes time, especially the first times. Take all the time in the world, the strap on will be around…it’s been around for hundreds of years, a few more days or weeks will not harm you…rushing may!!!. If you fail the first time, that is not a problem. In fact it is normal. Simply try again later or another time. Go slow and be careful. The anus, when massaged carefully, gently and long enough, will open up itself and is usually capable of doing very unexpected things. The trick is to relax, so be sure to put your partner into a comfortable position. Do it step by step. Get one finger in first, then slowly and gently add the next one and maybe after a while another one. If you want to penetrate with your “penis”, now is the time to do so.

Getting out is done in the same careful way. Go slow, even if the anus tries to push you out. There is a very good chance your partner will need to visit the bathroom immediately after a session. If they don’t, ask them gently and even accompany or encourage them to do so. Even if they don’t “have to,” being open about it will at least take the tension away and help them relax.

After care and support

Most people, especially when inexperienced in this area, will need lots and lots of support, love, care, tenderness, before, during and after a session. Some may require aftercare Remember that most people need to break through a huge mental barrier and that barrier will not be gone after the first time. It takes quite a while to get over the feeling of shame. Communication is paramount here.

Another very practical thing to remember – but it makes a great form of after care as well – is that anal play to many people will stimulate the digestive process. In other words, your partner may very well be hungry afterwards. Think ahead and make sure you have a bite to eat readily available (which is good advice after most scenes, as the stress and fatigue of a session will make you and your partners hungry). Sweets, i.e. sugar, will help regain some energy quickly and be sure to offer something to drink as well. Both the emotions and stress have a draining and dehydrating effect.

If you let your partners drink an isotonic drink first (like Gatorade) they will quickly regain their energy. This will also help prevent another thing. If you are planning to have an alcoholic drink later, remember that after a scene a body will absorb any liquid like a sponge and if it is has alcohol will get them very drunk. The isotonic drink will prevent this from happening.

Resource Article : MissBonnie © Collarncuffs.com Imgs: MissBonnie & MissBitch

Related Articles:

P spot Milking – Locating and Milking the male P spot (includes Video

Figging – The art of Ginger root play

first anal toy – I want to buy my first toy, but what ?

Strap on Harness – How to use and find the perfect Harness/strapon.

lube – what lube for what occasion?

Anal beads – Ok, I have anal beads, what now, how do I use Anal beads?

How to give an Enema

Posted on

How to kiss a woman’s breast


This might seem a strange topic to post in a Femdom site but, it amazes me the amount of men that get this wrong…and even more the amount of men who wish to get there partner to be more verbal during intimacy. Being more verbal during sexual intercourse takes work on both sides. We here at CollarNcuffs are often asked “How do I get my wife interested in Femdom, she doesn’t even appear to like vanilla sex” Our answer is simple work on the intimacy you have first.

licking a womans breast

If the basics aren’t pleasing her and she hasn’t told you, chances are she wont take to Femdom, like a duck does too water, or Domina to a single tail. This process wont make her the Femdom of your dreams but at the very least it will create some more intimacy in your sex life.

Intimacy builds and escalates, escalation creates want, need and desire. You can’t make a Femdom, but you can improve what sex life you already have…Then who knows! Get the idea 😉

Women in general, let alone those new to Femdom are some times reluctant to inform there partner just how they like their breasts to be touched. Some women have the belief men should just know what they like. As we mentioned above being more verbal during sexual intercourse takes work on both sides.

Table of Contents

Most Guys Don’t Get It.

When most men approach their partner’s breasts they go directly for the nipples. The male reasoning is logical. Since the nipple is the most excitable part of a woman’s breast, why waste time on the less important areas, why not get to the point! Not a good idea.

Women are a lot more complex. Women love to WONDER about what’s coming next.
Tension and anticipation are some of the biggest turn-ons for her.
She loves to be waiting on the edge of her seat.
While making love, women prefer you to BUILD towards the center of interest rather than go to it directly.

The Way She Likes It



When kissing a breast it is best to start from the base, the farthest point from the nipple.
Kiss, nibble, and lick the breast along the base, around the breast.
Move reeeeeally slow…like a snail.
Come full circle\\. Then shift your mouth a little higher, about a half inch above the base.
Repeat kiss-nibble-lick (k-n-l) around her breast along this new circle.
Come full circle.

Now move up a further half inch.
Repeat k-n-l.
The circles get shorter, your mouth gets closer to the nipple.
It is the anticipation of your mouth on the nipple that truly arouses her; and the more you delay it, the more heightened her arousal. At this stage some women beg (literally) their lover to take nipple in mouth, or she’ll shove nipple into his mouth herself. Such is the power of anticipation. But control yourself; she’ll thank you for it later.

Keep moving round and round the breast, higher and higher, closer and closer to the nipple.
Just before you reach the nipple, you arrive at the dark patch around it, the areola.
Stop doing kiss-nibble-lick here because there’s a chance your lips or cheek may brush against the nipple, and that might lessen the anticipation.

Using just the tip of your tongue, lick the circular patch of the areola, round and round, doing your best to avoid the nipple.

Finally, the nipple.
Lick the nipple, then lightly blow on it. This causes contrasting sensations of heat/moisture and then cooling. Most women love it. Do this all over her nipple.
Then lower your mouth on her nipple to cover it completely with the moist warmth of your mouth.

  • Try this : while her nipple is in your mouth, flick it around internally with your tongue.Next take the nipple in your mouth and alternately lick, suck and “flutter-tongue” it. While at the same time kneading the breast with increasing firmness.

Time To Suck Harder


The Grind

With nipple in mouth, roll your lips inwards and press on the nipple. Your mouth looks like the picture above with lips rolled inwards. Now unroll your lips while squeezing firmly on the nipple. Then immediately, roll your lips back in. Unroll again. Roll and unroll your lips… repeatedly, causing a grinding kind of pressure on the nipple.

The Gasket


Pucker up your lips around the nipple to form a sealing gasket around it. Puckered lips look like the picture above. Then suck in and out without breaking the seal; so the nipple feels alternating currents of vacuum and pressure. Keep checking with your partner if she is comfortable with the intensity. Avoid teeth! Finish by licking her breast all over, like a puppy licks his owners face. Slow, wet, unhurried, generous licks from one point to the other with the broad of your tongue, until her entire breast is wet and gleaming all over.

  • Try this : Spread some honey all over her breast (before you begin) so when you lick, your focus will be to lick off all the honey; that’s the kind of licking she’ll love! Now do the same for the other breast.

More Tips

Using hands

  • While your mouth works on her breast, gently squeeze its base with one hand, while fondling the other breast with your other hand. Squeeze a woman’s breast as if you’re trying to locate a small pearl-sized object lodged inside, and then nudging it upwards and out through the nipple. Start from the base, squeeze all over, slowly moving your hand upwards, until you’re squeezing just the tip of the nipple. Repeat.

Increase her nipple’s sensitivity

  • You can make her nipple feel extra sensitive by stretching it. Place a finger on either side of the nipple just outside the areola. Press lightly and slide your fingers apart to make the nipple taut. This exposes more of the nipple’s nerve endings. Now start licking or sucking.

Talking sexy

  • Let her know you like her breasts. Even women with model-like bodies secretly feel insecure about their looks and are self conscious about their naked bodies. Say, “You have such beautiful breasts…I could kiss them for hours”. Or “Mmmm, your nipples taste so good.” Women love to hear about the details. Of course if you are using these techniques in a D/s relationship your Mistress may prefer you to remain silent, so please also keep this in mind. If in doubt ASK. This is the area most men fail women sexually. They forget to ASK. women are pre programed to except and not ask for what they require, want, or need. A woman will more openly convey her needs, if asked.

For small breasts

  • With small breasts, you can take the entire breast inside your mouth and suck on it like it’s a juicy mango; with the entire breast inside (or as much of it as you can take in), suck it slowly from base to tip, taking care to avoid biting too hard.

The caress

  • Rub some massage oil on your palm and rest it on the breast with the fingertips around its base. Lift your hand towards the nipple while your fingertips caress the sides of the breast, until they are holding on to the nipple at the top. Squeeze and pull on the nipple gently or hard depending on what she likes or how aroused she is. Repeat.

One by one, or both together?

  • Perhaps she prefers your fingers caressing one breast while your lips suck the other nipple. Or maybe she finds that distracting and prefers you lavish all your attention on ONLY one breast at a time. Or perhaps she would like your hand caressing her thigh or some other part of her body. Ask her if your allowed to speak, or just what she requires from you. Femdom requires communication on both sides.

What ‘most’ women dislike :

  • Twisting : Guys, nipple twisting is NOT hot. Twisting her nipples as if tuning a radio station is what a lot of sexually uneducated guys do. Doing what you like isn’t always a prerequisite to getting what you want.

Biting her breasts or nipples too hard, whether deliberately or in the heat of passion, is a SURE way to turn off most women
MissBitch

Unless specifically asked to so by Mistress, don’t do the above things. Also remember : The sensitivity of her breasts can vary from week to week due to hormonal changes in her body, so always be sensitive to her reactions. Using teeth: Some women love their nipples being nibbled very, very gently. Remember it’s a fine line between stimulation and pain.

Ice and fire:

  • Sucking her nipple after sucking an ice-cube can send delightful sensations through her breast. Or if her nipples are already cold, then sipping something warm just before sucking them can be a welcome surprise.

Browse the neighborhood:

  • Don’t limit your attention to the breasts and nipples. Also kiss and lick the spaces between, under and around her breasts. Because these areas don’t usually get much loving, you’ll find them grateful and extra-sensitive to the tongue.

Get her feedback:

  • Every woman is different, every Mistress is different just because your last Domme or lover enjoyed something doesn’t mean every woman or Domme will like it the same. Ask her what she liked about your technique and also what she did NOT. What would she like you to do MORE of, and what would LESS? What would she like you to STOP doing entirely? Is there something she would like you to ADD to the technique? This is a great method to get things going in Femdom directions if your partner is new to the experience of asking, what does SHE wants done to her body.

Suggestion for female readers:

  • (guys, read this to her)Tell your man you’re going to touch and kiss his “breasts” the same way you like to have yours touched and kissed…then do it. When you like it gentle tell him, “This is what I mean when I say gentle”. When you like it rough, grab his breasts and show him what you mean by rough. If you like your nipples sucked or nibbled, show him just how you like it, on his nipples. Guys pay attention to the way she does it. Women respond best to men who listen

Remember…

  • A common complaint of women is that men don’t know how to treat a breast. Here they have in their hands a most effective tool to turn a woman on, but what do men do… they squeeze it too hard, grab it, bite it, do everything except make it feel good. A woman’s breasts are delicate and sensual, treat them like that.


Resource Article : MissBonnie & MissBitch © CollarNcuffs.com

Related sexual performance and enhancement Articles:

The beginners Guide to oral sex

Posted on

First Aid Kit for Femdom Use

Love is giving someone the ability to destroy you and trusting them not to

Taken from Admin signature line in the community

Most who partake in Femdom (especially the emerging or optimists ) don’t think twice about ‘after play’ or do I have all the ‘medical needs’ I require should an emergency arise.

You more than likely can tell me how much lube is left in the bottle/tube but do you know if your cupboards medical supplies are fully stocked?
Safety: is this responsibility of each person in the Femdom scene. Communication, physical and/or verbal, is a must during a scene to assure that the scene is not being taken to a dangerous level. It is your responsibility to know your play-partner as well as to disclose any medical problems and physical/emotional limitations you have that could lead to complications during a scene.

A first-aid kit should be kept in your toy bag if you travel to play parties Preferably two: a larger one for home and a smaller one for travel. Though all play spaces should be equipped with a Safety kit do not assume that one will be available, take your own!

Safety is an awareness of your surroundings and a healthy fear of unstable situations. By it’s very nature, an emergency is an unstable situation.If everything were truly under control, nothing bad would’ve happened in the first place. Remember to play safe!: MissBonnie

sexy female paramedic


Below is a list of suggested materials for both a First-Aid kit and an Emergency Kit for a play space. Links are also provided at the bottom of this article to assist in learning First Aid procedures and techniques.

Latex Allergies


Safer Sex practices are not foolproof but they are necessary to understand and use. The links included at the bottom of the page have a wonderful database of information to assist you in learning the tips and techniques to safer sexual contact and play.

However, what I have not been able to find in any of the materials that I have researched is an idea of what to do if you or your partner are allergic to Latex. Non-latex gloves, dams, and condoms have not been proven effective in protecting a person from AIDS or other blood pathogens. I have addressed this issue with many Physicians and the AIDS Awareness groups and was again told that Latex is the only barrier recommended to assist in stopping the spread of such disease.

In order to both be protected and not suffer adverse reactions to Latex I recommended a double or triple layer of protective barrier, be it condom or gloves. If the ‘giver’ ‘fucker’ Top’, pick one, is allergic to Latex, a non-latex product can be used under the latex barrier to keep the latex off the skin. If the ‘reciever’ ‘fuckee’ ‘bottom’, again your choice, is allergic to latex place the non-latex product over the latex barrier to protect his/her skin. If both of you are allergic, sandwich the latex in between non-latex products so that neither party comes in contact with the latex.

Double wrapping is always recommended even if there is no allergy to latex. Things do break under the stress of passion and the safer you are the more fun it can be made to be!

First Aid Kit

What’s in your Femdom First Aide Kit:

  • First and foremost a First Aid Book
  • Uses:Clearly explains how to handle basic problems.
  • Condoms Spermicidal and non lubed/spermicidal
  • Uses: Covering dildoes, birth control, safer intercourse, oral sex(non lube/spermicidal)
  • Alcohol Pads
  • Uses: Temporary play piercings, cuttings, accidental cuts/abrasions, toy cleaning(on a lesser scale)
  • Latex/Nitrile/Other Gloves and/or finger cots
  • Uses: Fisting, anal finger play, blood play, switching between anal and vaginal play.
  • Dental Dam
  • Uses: Vaginal and anal oral sex
  • Safety(paramedic) scissors
  • Uses: Mummification, cutting of rope/leather/material restraints, cutting of clothing worn on the body
  • Band aids and general first aid bandages
  • Uses: Cuts, abrasions
  • Alcohol
  • Uses: same as alcohol pads; however, on a larger scale
  • Peroxide
  • Uses: Cleaning of toys, wounds
  • Arnica Gel(some people are allergic to Arnica)
  • Uses: to stop swelling and inflammation
  • Alternatives: ice gel pack covered in cloth
  • Vitamin E and K cream
  • The pure, edible kind with no scents or mineral oil added.
  • Uses: Is great for wound healing and for the general drying out of the skin that can happen during a scene.
  • Heparinoid (LASONIL is the brand I use)
  • Uses: Diminishes chances of bruising
  • Water
  • Uses: Fire play(wax, fire), re hydration. (hand washing, if theres no tap handy)
  • Panic Button
  • Uses: top passes out, emergency situation, or if you play partner has established medical conditions.
  • Mobile (Cell) phone
  • Uses: portable for scenes not close to a house phone/land line, for use when playing with a new partner
  • Safe call friends phone number.
  • Uses: When playing with a new partner can be used in case of emergency, or to check in your safe.
  • Safe words
  • Uses: in scene to stop play (remember to ask for a safeword.
  • tip: If your playing with constant partner it could written on the box lid
  • Small flashlight or chem (glow) sticks
  • Uses: in the event of power loss…the little LED lights on a head band are awesome, bright light and both hands free.
  • Tip 1 Additional uses poorly lit publicly play stations. where detail is required.
  • Tip 2: if you’re like most of us never remember to change the batteries add spare batteries or stick to Chem sticks.
  • Medication
  • Uses: medication for health purposes. For example: heart medication, insulin, etc..
  • Candy/sugar/orange juice/juice
  • Uses: low blood sugar, re-energizing
  • Tip: Sports drinks are also good for re hydrating in a hurry if mummification play turns sour.
  • Lubrication – water soluble lube
  • Uses: fisting, intercourse, anal and vaginal play
  • Sharp’s container
  • Uses: temporary play piercing(needles, bloodied pads), bio waste
  • Tweezers
  • Uses: Splinters from caning, loosening knots
  • Cotton swabs
  • Uses: first aid
  • Tip: padding for mummification
  • Panic snaps
  • Uses: quick release
  • Emergency contact numbers/addresses
  • Uses: for emergencies.. Locate directions of nearest hospital
  • Headache medication
  • Uses: headaches and mild pain relief after play
  • Tip 1: if used when play piercing it will thin blood and create more blood flow when needles are removed.
  • tip 2 medications used prior to play can lead to blood thinning cause increased bruising.
  • Paper Towels
  • Uses: clean up of blood, excretions
  • A compact blanket
  • Uses: to cover bottom/submissive after play; aids in diminishing shock; helps enhance emotional feelings of warmth and safety.
  • Bolt cutters
  • Uses: metal play(handcuffs, chain)
  • Extra keys
  • Uses: Extra keys for the same lock and kept separately;
  • Hint: universal keys that fit ALL locks (keyed the same)are well worth the initial investment
  • First aid knowledge and CPR Certificate
  • Users: Any emergency in or outside of play.

Additional Items

Additional things you might like to consider including in your kit it away from home:

  • hot water bottle
  • thermos of boiling water (for either hot drink or to fill hot water bottle.)
  • herbal tea and hot chocolate packets.
  • Change of clothes / dressing gown / soft robe /warm socks

If you’re playing in a public space it’s always nice to keep a robe in your kit. It helps a lot for after… when you’re done with your blanket but may not want to get dressed yet. If you play pretty heavy and there is usually blood involved. Robes are great alternative to damaging “good clothes” Even without the blood it’s nice to be able to wander around comfortably while you’re “coming down”.

Cardiac Arrest

Make a difference, learn first aid today.


Did you know that over 6,000 people die of out of hospital Cardiac Arrest every year. That’s 18 people every day. If you were the first person on the scene of one of the cardiac arrests would you know what to do?

The Red Cross is the world’s largest provider of first aid training. You can rely on them to offer you courses which are of the highest standard and delivered by high quality, experienced instructors.

Trained first aiders can also help in many other situations.

If your play partner is unintentional injured or has a Cardiac Arrest, would you know what to do?

http://www.redcross.org.au/ourservices_acrossaustralia_firstaid_courses.htm First Aide courses Australia

http://www.redcrossfirstaidtraining.co.uk/ First Aide Courses Britain

http://www.redcross.org/ First aide courses USA

http://www.redcross.ca/article.asp?id=000620 First aide Courses Canada

ttp:www.parasolemt.com.au/manual.php?subpage=introfirstaid basic first aide

http://www.cdc.gov/nchhstp/ National Center for HIV, STD, and TB Prevention

Resource Article : MissBonnie © Collarncuffs.com

Related Articles:
safe sex practices – safe sex practices
Unsafe sex practices – Unsafe Femdom practices
Cleaning sex toys– cleaning of sex and bondage toys
jelly rubber vibrators contain phthalates and should always be used with condoms-Health dangers associated with ‘jelly’ toys.

Emergency training

Posted on

Ground Rules For Oral Sex

oral sex

If you give oral sex, make sure you don’t have sores, wounds, gum disease, ulcers, cuts, herpes or infections in your mouth. It’s important to make sure your mouth and gums are in good condition before you give oral sex.

Ways to make oral sex safer include:
Use condoms (external or internal) – check their expiry date and use only water-based lubricants to avoid tears and breakage.
Wear dental dams – a small thin sheet of latex that acts as a barrier between the mouth and vagina or anus.
Avoid getting semen or vaginal fluid in your eyes.

ok lecture on safety over, now for the good stuff!

The golden rule of manners as it pertains to dining downtown is this: consider it the equivalent of a free meal at a Gordon Ramsay restaurant. It’s a sheer delight simply to be there! So act like it.

Don’t contradict directions with comments such as, “But my ex used to love it when I did that,” or “But I have been practicing that move all week!” or the unforgivably tactless, “Well! If this isn’t the worst I’ve ever tasted!”

Don’t expect your partner to know exactly how you like it. Offer hints, always phrased in positives. Recommended nudges include “Right there oh my God yes” and “Please, My Lady may I have some more?”

Never push someone down by the shoulders, use their ears as a steering wheel, or accelerate the pace by pushing on their head as if it were a toilet plunger. These are NOT “hints.”

Understand that a chef must eat, too. While Femdom may over ride sometimes. Pleasure should be balanced in actions. No one can keep on giving of themselves without some kind of return. Please keep this in mind for a happy long lasting relationship. Oral pleasure is a reciprocal activity: you cannot expect to receive head any more often than you proffer it. You may request oral pleasure without reciprocity on the following occasions: it’s your birthday (no half-birthdays); you’ve been laid off; your favorite team lost (major championship games only, no mid-season games); your pet just died (in the case of goldfish passing on, it’s the giver’s call); you styled your short.

Posted on

TOYS FOR ORAL ENHANCEMENT


Vibrators, Dildos, and Other Miscellany for Misbehaving

  • Rule One: Don’t knock sex toys until you’ve seen what they can do.
  • Rule Two: Always, always, always wash your sex toys.

VIBRATORS

assorted vibrators


let us start with the introductory vibrator, the kind you can any sex shops; it’s about four inches long and requires an AA battery Many women like to travel with these because they are discreet—and powerful. Sometimes they come with a penis-replica plastic sleeve, which makes it more of a dildo (which is a penis replica made of plastic or sometimes glass, while a vibrator contains batteries and, well, vibrates). Do not be afraid of this item. This is going to be a good friend of yours.

If your not sure on what vibe you need, why not check out our the beginner’s guide to vibrators

Never make a woman choose between her vibrating dildo and you. You may not like the choose she makes
MissBitch

This device can be used to rocket oral sex into the next stratosphere. Gently insert it into the vaginal canal while you are licking and sucking the clitoris. As you establish a rhythm, feel free to begin rhythmically penetrating your woman with the vibrator. If you have the vibrator turned on, don’t pump up the volume just yet. Instead, use long and deep, penetrating strokes interspersed with short, rapid strokes, depending on your mutual mood.

Some women like having the vibrator inserted as far as it will go, motionless but turned on, during oral sex so that they are receiving dual stimulation but are not over stimulated. These climaxes can be overwhelming anyway and are deeply rewarding—she may tightly grab you at the moment of climax and urge you to press the vibrator even more deeply into her. Do not be afraid of the climax-clutch. It is simply an expression of your woman’s lasting excitement. When her climax is finished, she will probably push your face away and at this time you should gently, slowly remove the vibrator as well.

A related method involves inserting a very small vibrator in the anus. For the anally erotic gal, this is a real treat. A small vibrator can be slipped in during cunnilingus to excite and gratify. However, if you do not know the woman very well, or don’t know her feelings about anal penetration, make sure she okays the move first. You should never insert something into the anus as a “surprise” move. In order to insert anything into the anus, you need the conscious (but not overly, as in self-conscious) participation of your partner. You don’t have to stop licking and caressing her—just cover it in a water-based lubricant like K-Y jelly and make sure she knows that its coming by gently circling the anus and tapping against it before you slip the vibrator in. When you use the vibrator in the anus and your tongue and mouth on the clitoris, your woman will probably loose her cookies early on. But this is a fun alternative to the standard fare, and comes highly recommended. If you and your partner are ready for another variation, try using a second vibrator. One vibrator is gently inserted into the anus in the manner described above, while the other (usually larger) vibrator is inserted into the vagina. A pulsing sensation will occur all over the woman’s body when both vibrators are turned on and suddenly come into sync with each other. When the two vibrators, whose motors are not rotating at exactly the same speed, periodically drop into perfect phase with each other, the presence of you sucking and licking her clitoris becomes intensely pleasurable. This isn’t for everyday sex, but it is a wonderful way to spice things up and give her the kind of mind-blowing pleasure we all crave every once in awhile.

DILDOS

The only thing as remarkable as the long history of the dildo (quite possibly the oldest sex toy on earth) is the variety of shapes, sizes, textures, and colors this handy sex asset has assumed. Some of them are tapered enough to make them great for anal play, while others are curved for G-spot stimulation. But they can all add to your oral sex repertoire by keeping one sensitive area engaged while you’re busy with another. For G-spot stimulation, make sure you get something with a well-defined bulbous head, in addition to the traditional curved shape. Available in glass, metal, acrylic, silicone, jelly, cyberskin and a nearly limitless variety of other materials, dildos can range in style from the incredibly detailed and realistic to the fantastically abstract and unearthly—it’s all up to you and your woman. The important thing to remember is that, even if you might see fabric or leather or horsehair dildos available, the only truly safe ones are those that can be washed and disinfected like glass (with no chips), acrylic, metal-plated, and silicone. A particular and lovely trait of the glass dildo is that it can be placed under hot or cold running water for just a few minutes to contribute a new range of sensations to your partner. A great sidekick for a warm, lively little tongue.

Products in silicone, however, rightly deserve their reputation as goddess’s gift to sex toys. Silicone is smooth, non-sticky, and simultaneously resilient and soft. It absorbs body heat rapidly, so just rubbing it between your hands can make it something of a treat to gently insert into the orifice of your choice. Start playing with this stuff and you’ll both be late to work for a week. If you want to save some money, the products being made out of jelly aren’t bad. Some people even prefer jelly to silicone.

Although I can’t say I agree with the jelly one. The jelly starts to become opaque over time and also gets sticky just sitting around and eventually looks like an old lollipop collecting fibres, and with the new health warnings on jelly products, I personally don’t like to take chances
MissBonnie


Like all sex toys, dildos should be washed after every use, but the jelly products in particular pick up bits of dust and hair floating around everyday, so you should give them a nice washing both before and after. The final note on jelly toys is that they will always smell like plastic—like when a “made in China” product is first taken out of its airtight wrapping. This smell never completely leaves the jelly sex toy. Though it lessens somewhat. So, if your nostrils don’t flare with pleasure at the idea, stick to silicone.

ANAL PROBES

types of anal probes

And you thought you had to be abducted by aliens first!
MissBitch

Anal probing feels much more pleasurable than it sounds (though, as with all acquired tastes, it starts to sound as good as it feels) and lots of time and energy have been spent creating products that maximize this pleasure.

A metal or acrylic dildo is fine for vaginal play, but something softer and more forgiving is required for the anus.

When selecting a probe, make sure you get something soft enough, and with a graduated shaft that will allow you to insert to the desired width. Also, make sure you get something with a nicely sized handle. You don’t want to lose your grip—and neither does your partner.

As indicated by its name, the probe is longer than other toys created for anal insertion and is a great way to find out exactly where your woman wants anal stimulation.

Be aware the probes require constant attention as they tend to shift more than plugs
MissBonnie

ANAL PLUGS

Anal plugs are endlessly fun—so endless, in fact, that some people start wearing them all the time. (That doesn’t necessarily mean I’m one of them.)Missbitch

They come with a gorgeous array of decorations, using gemstones and different designs to give the butt a fashionable, naughty, or bejeweled look when inserted.

The most important thing to remember when selecting an anal plug—as with all anal toys—is the size.

A true beginner should start with something under seven ounces, no longer than two inches, and no wider than 11/4 inch at its widest point. If this is your first time, go for something nicely tapered for an easier entry, with a well-flared base so that it won’t slide too far in.MissBitch

If you plan to start wearing one all the time, just make sure yours has a very long, narrow (one inch or less) neck to keep it from falling out.

That might be rather difficult to explain at a morning meeting.MissBonnie

ANAL BEADS

I’ll wear my pearls Thank you
MissBitch

Ever wonder how strands of beads became so popular?

Sadly, it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re such awesome sex toys.

This toy is a great introduction to anal play, and usually consists of beads graduated in size from a few eighths of an inch in diameter on up. We have wonderful article for use with male subs if you interested (Selecting a strand that ranges from three-eighths to one inch will provide a little something for everyone.) Also, make sure that the beads are made of a smooth material.

Metal beads are to be avoided, as is any material harder than your finger.

Insert the beads gently, one bead at a time, into your (forewarned) partner until you reach the bead that almost won’t go in.
At the moment of orgasm (or whenever you feel the time is right), pull the beads out in one long, continuous motion by the ring or handle. Some people go wild over the insertion, but most find that the boon of the beads lies in their sudden extrication (which can heighten orgasms considerably).

A variant of the anal beads is an apparatus with a series of round, consecutively smaller spheres. This can be used similarly to an anal plug, but has some of the advantages of the beads. Also, as the beads commonly use nylon thread, this toy has the added benefit of being completely washable.

The most important ingredients when using sex toys, especially with anal toys, are lube and relaxation. MissBonnie

If you choose toys that are smooth in texture, and don’t fall for the “my eyes were bigger than my . . .” syndrome that hits all of us every once in a while, these toys will add hours—and perhaps a lifetime—of new pleasure to your repertoire.
if your new to anal pleasures you might like to read our anal beginners articles.
How to keep your toys clean
consider using them with a condom, and use only water-based lube on or around them.

Resource Article: tomcat (Edited: in conjunction with MissBonnie and MissBitch) for the beginners guide to oral sex © CollarNuffs.com

New Report

Close