Tag: negotiation

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ABUSE AND EROTIC POWER EXCHANGE

Table of Contents

Voluntary: 

all partners involved in erotic power exchange activity of whatever nature should decide to do so of their own free will and choice and without any force applied. Sometimes the element of “force” may be hidden. Such can be the case if either of the parties faces (or fears to be faced with) economical or social repercussions if he or she does not go along with what the other partner(s) wants. This may be the case for example if colleagues at work enter into EPE-activities or within a marriage. If either of the partners feels forced, for whatever reason, the situation is non-voluntary.

Informed: 

all partners involved in erotic power exchange should base their decision to do so on correct information and should be able to judge the situation and possible consequences. A simple “yes” often is not enough, especially in cases where it is doubtful whether the person saying “yes” does not or can not know what the implications are or can be.

Consensual: 

all partners involved should agree to what is going to happen or happening and should have the possibility to evaluate previous decisions in the event they are faced with emotions, reactions or information they feel is of importance to their situation. Sane: decisions with respect to erotic power exchange activities should be made when all partners involved are of a clear mind. Consent as a result of the use of drugs, alcohol or the rush or the situation is not consent.

Safe: erotic power exchange activities should be safe, both physically and mentally and in the event physical or mental risks are taken – for example in an edge play situation – people should be well informed about the possible risks, implications and repercussions.

Moral or ethical code

Although the majority of the people, involved in erotic power exchange, usually have very high moral and ethical standards there is no standard moral or ethical code when it comes to erotic power exchange. Since EPE is such a personal and intimate activity it is questionable if such a moral code can be produced at all. This means that people who are into erotic power exchange activities very much depend on their own judgment, often without references.

Seeking advice is difficult, since it may be very hard to find a reliable source – in general terms as well as with respect to your own personal situation. However, there are some general rules of thumb to go by when evaluating your personal position or a situation you are about to enter:

Respect: 

Any erotic power exchange relationship should be based on mutual respect. In the event you have doubts about this, it is very likely there is something wrong.

Communication: Communication is paramount when it comes to erotic power exchange. Communication is a two way street. If you feel your arguments, feelings and thoughts are disregarded you have stumbled on another warning signal.

Relationship: 

In general – disregarding incidental kick-seeking – erotic power exchange can only flourish within a sound and solid relationship.

Dominance and ego: 

Dominance is not male chauvinism pr Female supremacy. Although it is sometimes very hard to draw the lines in individual cases, ego trips are out of the question when it comes to erotic power exchange. It is a mistake to think only the submissive can be “persuaded” into something s/he does not want. It happens to dominants as well and submissives can sometimes be very persistent and manipulative.

Recognizing domestic violence

Domestic violence is a pattern of intentional intimidation for the purpose of dominating, coercing, or isolating another without his/her consent. Abuse tends to be cyclical in nature and escalates over time. By asking yourself the following questions and watching for the following signals you may evaluate the situation you are in:

Physical signals

Does your partner ever hit, choke, slap, or otherwise physically hurt you? (Erotic power exchange scenes excluded) Has he or she ever restrained you against your will, locked you in a room or used a weapon of any kind?

Are you afraid of your partner?

Does your partner constantly or frequently criticize your performance, withhold sex as a means of control or ridicule you for the limits you do set?

Do you feel obliged to have sex?

Does your partner use sex to make up after a violent incident?

Isolation

Does your partner isolate you from friends, family or groups?

Does your partner prohibit you to take part in social events or activities?

Property

Has your partner ever destroyed objects?

Has your partner ever threatened pets?

Economical

Does your partner limit access to work or to material resources?

Has he/she ever stolen from you or run up debts?

Emotional/Psychological

Are you or your partner emotionally dependent on one another?

Does your relationship swing back and forth between a lot of emotional distance and being very close?

Is your partner constantly criticizing you, humiliating you, and generally undermining your self esteem?

Do you feel you can not discuss with your partner what is bothering you?

Abuse within an erotic power exchange relationship

Although it does not occur often, abuse within an erotic power exchange relation does occur. Rape and forced sexual acts are not part of consensual S/M. Battering is not “agreed” upon. Domestic violence is not the same as consentual S/M. As a result of their sexual orientation, abused persons who are in an erotic power exchange relationship may suffer additional isolation and may hesitate to turn to available resources for fear of rejection or of giving credence to stereotypes.

These are question that may help you evaluate whether or not your situation is an abusive one:

Are you confused about when a scene begins and ends?

Does your partner ever ignore your safe words or pressure you not to use them?

Has s/he ever violated your limits?

Do you feel “trapped” in a specific role (submissive or dominant)?

Does your partner use scenes to express or cover up anger and frustration?

General reflections

No one has the right to abuse you and you are not responsible for the violence. You are also not alone. If you feel you are in an abusive relationship or situation interact with other survivors. You will find them in local or regional support groups.

There are many reasons why people stay in abusive relationships. Fear of or feelings for the abuser may be one of them. Lack of economic or emotional resources is another. If you stay, help is still available. Find out about shelters, support groups, counselors, anti-violence programs and 24-hour crisis lines in your area. Ask a friend to help you make these calls.

And, if you are planning on leaving: plan a strategy if you have to leave quickly. Line up friends and family in case of an emergency. Battering is a crime. Find out about your legal rights and options.

Abuse in an erotic power exchange relationship can have an even greater impact than if it happens in another relationship. The amount of trust given can have been extremely high, thus the aftermath, the disappointment and the guilt feelings can be enormous. One word of advice to aid workers: someone who has been in an erotic power exchange relationship did not bring it upon him or her self. Especially in an erotic power exchange relationship the breech of trust by the abuser is enormous.

This article is partially based on material, produced by the American National Leather Association, the Dutch S&M Media Information Center and the POWERotics. Feel free to redistribute but please do make references to these sources © collarncuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channels

Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

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Submissive Femdom / BDSM Play Partner Check List

Please Note. Update 2024: we have many more free printable checklists contained within our 100% Free to use Femdom Community

This questionnaire should be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick “head-start” to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. For each item, you need to provide two answers:

  • First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.
  • Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
  • Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.
  • NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).
  • 0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don’t like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a “soft limit”).
  • 1 means you don’t want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn’t object if it was asked of you.
  • 2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.
  • 3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.
  • 4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.
  • 5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

Note any additional information which might be important for your Domme to know.

There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient of the activity.

Partner Check List
ActivitiesExperience, Willingness
yes/no,NO or 0-5
Abrasion
Age play
Anal sex
Anal plugs (small)
Anal plugs (large)
Anal plug (public, under clothes)
Animal roles
Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders)
Asphyxiation
Auctioned for charity
Bathroom use control
Beastiality
Beating (soft)
Beating (hard)
Blindfolds
Being serviced (sexual)
Being bitten
Breast/chest bondage
Breath control
Branding
Boot worship
Bondage (light)
Bondage (heavy)
Bondage (multi-day)
Bondage (public, under clothing)
Breast whipping
Brown showers (scat)
Cages (locked inside of)
Caning
Catheterization
Cells/Closets (locked inside of)
Chastity belts
Chaueffering
Choking
Clothespins
Cock worship
Collars (worn in private)
Collars (worn in public)
Competitions (with other Subs)
Corsets (wearing)
Cuffs (leather)
Cuffs (metal)
Cutting
Dilation
Double penetration
Electricity
Enemas
Enforced chastity
Examinations (physical)
Exercise (forced/required)
Exhibitionism (friends)
Exhibitionism (strangers)
Eye contact restrictions
Face slapping
Fantasy abandonment
Fantasy rape
Fantasy gang-rape
Fisting (anal)
Fisting (vaginal)
Following orders
Foot worship
Forced dressing
Forced homosexuality
Forced masturbation
Forced nudity (private)
Forced nudity (around others)
Forced servitude
Full head hoods
Gags (cloth)
Gags (rubber)
Gags (tape)
Gates of Hell (male)
Genital sex
Given away to another Dom (temp)
Given away to another Dom (perm)
Golden showers
Hairbrush spankings
Hair pulling
Hand jobs (giving)
Hand jobs (receiving)
Harems (serving w/other subs)
Harnessing (leather)
Harnessing (rope)
Having food chosen for you
Having clothing chosen for you
Head (giving fellatio)
Head (receiving fellatio)
High heel worship
Homage with toungue (non-sexual)
Hot oils (on genitals)
Hot waxing
Housework (doing)
Human puppy dog
Humiliation (private)
Humiliation (public)
Hypnotism
Ice cubes
Infantalism
Initiation rites
Injections
Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage
Interrogations
Kidnapping
Kneeling
Leather clothing
Leather restraints
Lectures for misbehavior
Licking (non-sexual)
Manacles & Irons
Manacures (giving)
Massage (giving)
Massage (receiving)
Medical scenes
Modeling for erotic photos
Mouth bits
Mummification
Nipple clamps
Nipple weights
Oral/anal play (rimming)
Over-the-knee spanking
Orgasm denial
Orgasm control
Outdoor scenes
Outdoor sex
Phone sex (serving Dom)
Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends)
Prison scenes
Pony slave
Public exposure
Pussy/cock whipping
Pussy worship
Riding crops
Riding the “horse” (crotch tort.)
Rituals
Religious scenes
Restrictive rules on behavior
Rubber/latex clothing
Rope body harness
Saran wrapping
Scratching – getting
Scratching – giving
Sensory deprivation
Serving
Serving as art
Serving as ashtray
Serving as furniture
Serving as a maid
Serving as toilet
Serving as waitress/waiter
Serving orally (sexual)
Serving other doms (supervised)
Piercing (temporary, play-pierce)
Piercing (permanant)
Serving other doms (unsupervised)
Sexual deprivation (short term)
Sexual deprivation (long term)
Shaving (body hair)
Shaving (head hair)
Sleep deprivation
Sleepsacks
Slutty clothing (private)
Slutty clothing (public)
Spanking
Spandex clothing
Speech restrictions (when, what)
Speculums (Anal)
Speculums (vaginal)
Spreader bars
Standing in corner
Stocks
Straight jackets
Strap-on-dildos (sucking on)
Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by)
Strap-on-dildos (wearing)
Strapping (full body beating)
Suspension (upright)
Suspension (inverted)
Suspension (horizontal)
Supplying new partners for Dom
Swallowing semen
Swallowing urine
Swapping (with one other couple)
Swinging (multiple couples)
Tattooing
Teasing
Tickling
Triple penetration
Uniforms
Including others
Vaginal dildo
Verbal humiliation
Vibrator on genitals
Voyeurism (watching others)
Voyeurism (your Dom w/others)
Video (watching others)
Video (recordings of you)
Water torture
Wearing symbolic jewelery
Whipping
Wooden paddles
Wrestling

Article MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

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Limits

In the Femdom/BDSM world, limits refer to activities that a partner feels strongly about, and to which special attention must be paid.

Before a Femdom scene

  • Before a Femdom scene, it is common to perform a negotiation to outline what will and will not happen during the play session. During this time, all participants outline what they desire and what they will not tolerate. This is the time to discuss limits.

Both Dominants and submissives can express limits

Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. They can be spoken or written in the form of a contract, discussing them fully usually results in an improved experience for all involved.

Popular variants include:

  • Hard Limit – something that must NOT be done. Violating a hard limit is often considered just cause for ending a scene or even a relationship. Examples include “scat is a hard limit for me” or “I have a back injury, so striking on the back is a hard limit”.
  • Soft Limit – something that someone will do only in special circumstances or when highly aroused. Example – “I will only do anal sex with a very experienced partner”.
  • “Must” limit – something that a person will not do the scene without. Examples include “lots of hair pulling is a must-limit for me” or “If you’re going to flog me, I’ll need lots of aftercare”.
  • Time limit – an amount of time after which play ceases.
  • No Limits – the Dominant may do anything she cares to with the submissive. This is usually a sign of an inexperienced player who does not yet know what their limits are. In reality, even the most hardened and experienced players have limits.
  • “No limits” play is more the stuff of porn and thriller movies than in actual, real-life Femdom. This is also sometimes used as a term for TPE or Total Power Exchange.

Negotiation

Negotiation in Femdom community is a form of communication where participants make arrangements on each others’ requirements, responsibilities and limits to find the best possible agreement.
As BDSM is sexual practice that keeps to SSC philosophy, negotiation is necessary to set sexual activity within the boundaries of these principles.

Activity within Femdom relationships requires trust, openness about most practices that may include risks. On the other hand, partners have certain needs which should be clearly defined in order to be properly satisfied. In this regard, negotiation is essential part not only when parties were not familiar with each other but also in case when partners have long-term relationships.

Negotiation may not only concern a particular session but touch upon a more wide range of subjects on a BDSM philosophy in general: considerations on a lifestyle, the perspectives of the relationships, religious beliefs and many other issues that can be in one way or another connected to BDSM activity.

Negotiation within the limits of BDSM practice can be performed either verbally or in written form. One of the most common ways to clarify all the issues concerning participation in BDSM activity is to make use of negotiation form.

Negotiation form form is a list of needs, limits and activities within BDSM practice presented to both participants for a specification of the details of BDSM session.

Types of negotiation

1. Scene negotiation takes place before the actual participation in Femdom session, during the session and after it. It can be done in written form, where all the topics discussed will be listed for agreement or disagreement. This is made to evaluate the possible productivity of the session and compatibility of both partners. Negotiation on a pre-scene phase may include discussing such things as: Arrangement of Roles – who will take the part of the top partner or bottom partner, and participation of any other observers, the way partners address each other. Expectations and needs of both partners- likes and dislikes of submissive and dominant partners and the ability to fulfill each other’s needs: Limits of the scene – boundaries that are set to define what experience is acceptable within psychological (such as humiliation, obedience or verbal violation) and physical limits (such as pain, marks and resistance to various influences)Types of play – practices that would be included in a scene: bondage, role-playing, spanking or sensory deprivation; BDSM Equipment and or furnishings and attire- what materials, adult toys and fetish wear (leather lingerie, Corsets, PVC etc.) will be used; Duration of the scene – at what time the play starts and ends, who will be in charge of the time :Health concerns – talking over existent health problems: allergies, chronic diseases, STD’s, taking any medications and other Safety measures – any safety tools to prevent situations when something goes wrong way

Sexual contact – what type of sexual activity is accepted if any

Safe words – one or set of verbal and non-verbal signs that will be used to stop the play or slow it down.

Negotiation that takes place after session is focused mainly on the following: possible drawbacks or otherwise positive moments, feelings and suggestions on the next sessions often referred too as Aftercare.

2. Relationships negotiation is a form of negotiation that concerns consideration of building up a scene relationship or a more committed 24/7 relationships. Partners who are interested in long-term relationships sign up a kind of contract that is similar to one a couple signs when getting married. Together with the questions that concern BDSM activity, partners discuss long-term arrangements: type of this relationship, agreement on living together, financial and psychological responsibilities. When both parties agree on TPE relationships they usually agree on signing up a contract in support of their commitment to BDSM lifestyle and each other. Such contracts do not have a legal base but they allow partners to determine all the aspects of their lifestyle more clearly.

Negotiation is aimed to give a certain order to BDSM scene especially when things are quite new to both partners. Here is one of the examples of the issues that can be included in a negotiation form on a forthcoming BDSM scene. Of course, negotiation form is an individual thing and you may well variegate sections and suggest to make it more detailed.

Sample Negotiation form

General information about your partner

  • Name (nickname)
  • Age
  • Marital status
  • Address
  • Participants
  • number of participants
  • observer (if any)

Roles

  • Domme
  • Sub

The way of addressing the other

  • Mistress
  • slave
  • pet
  • others

Psychological needs

  • humiliation
  • pain
  • verbal abuse
  • control
  • embarrassment
  • mind play

Outfit

  • sensual wear
  • fetish attire
  • costumes
  • undressed
  • erotic jewelry

other preferences

  • Sex toys
  • Vibrators, dildos, anal toys

BDSM toys:

  • Bondage(cuffs, rope, spreader bars, suspension devices, harness etc)
  • Sensory deprivation (gags, blindfolders, hoods, masks)
  • Discipline devices (paddles, floggers, nipple clamps, cock rings, chastity devices)

Sexual preferences

  • anal sex (including rimming, anilingus)
  • Fisting

masturbation

  • oral sex
  • no sexual intercourse
  • kissing

Health concerns

  • allergies
  • STD’s
  • contraception
  • general health problems
  • medications taken
  • medical aids

safety measures

  • Time, date and place where the scene will be held
  • Limits
  • Physical limits
  • Psychological limits

Marks

  • Acceptable
  • unacceptable

Safe words

  • Safe words for slowing down
  • Safe words to stop the game

* Non-verbal signs

Experience

  • For top
  • For bottom

Materials leather metal tape rope etc

Type of play: Bondage:

  • Bondage positions(standing, lying, suspended, kneeling, etc)
  • Parts of the body restrained (ankles, hands, knees, elbows)
  • Level of immovability
  • Discipline (spanking, flogging, hot wax play, pain play, cock and ball torture etc)
  • Sensory deprivation (gagging, blindfolding, ear plugging, mummification)
  • Knife play
  • Blood play
  • Fire play
  • Hot wax play
  • Role-playing etc.

Resource Article : MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channel.
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

Posted on

SSC V’s RACK

SSC-and-RACK-in-BDSM

RACK

Risk-Aware Consensual Kink (RACK, also Risk-Accepted Consensual Kink) is an acronym used by some of the BDSM/Femdom community to describe themselves and their philosophies. It specifies that any activity between fully-informed consenting adults is acceptable.

Philosophy

RACK’s tenets are best described by a deconstruction of the acronym.

Risk: We have thought about this and assessed any risk
Aware: We are aware of what we are doing and the risks it carries
Consensual: We have sought this out and have agreed to take part
Kink: Alternative sex.

The RACK philosophy encompasses several elements that are consensually agreed upon among the larger BDSM/Femdom community, (generally referred to as “Safe, sane and consensual” or SSC), but expands upon those elements to include elements of edgeplay and play that is engaged in without safewords.

RACK focuses primarily upon awareness and informed consent, rather than accepted safe practices. For example, RACK participants are aware that legal consent often does not create a defence to criminal liability for any injuries caused during edgeplay, and that under English law, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm. An SSC person would shy away from such activities as too unsafe. A RACK person on the other hand would analyze the risk, and decide for themselves whether they would accept that risk.

History

RACK was coined in reaction to dissatisfaction within the BDSM community regarding the internal and external political issues surrounding the SSC ethos Gary Switch in an essay that has circulated among USENET lists, first proposed the term over the mailing list out of a desire to form a more accurate portrayal of the type of play that many engage in

Safe, sane and consensual

Safe, sane and consensual (SSC) is one of several phrases used by a large section of the Femdom/BDSM and sexual bondage communities to describe themselves and their philosophies who regard SSC to be a watchword for safety. The principles are that BDSM activities should be:

Safe: attempts should be made to identify and prevent risks to health
Sane: activities should be undertaken in a sane and sensible cast of mind
Consensual: all activities should involve the full informed consent of all parties involved, but note that legal consent may not create a defense to criminal liability for any injuries caused and that, for these purposes, non-physical injuries are included in the definition of grievous bodily harm in English law.

Other people in the BDSM community do not consider SSC to be an accurate term for these relationships/activities. The term Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK) is sometimes used as a substitute description.

For those who dissent, issues generally arise from the subjective nature of each term in SSC when using the term as a yardstick to evaluate activities. It can be argued that the terms in RACK are equally subjective. “How safe is safe enough” is a legitimate question, and “how aware is aware enough” is an equally legitimate question.

Resource Article : MissBonnie © Collarncuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channel.
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

Posted on

BDSM RIGHTS

This site promotes the concept of “BDSM Rights”

We hold the belief that people who’s sexuality or relationship preferences include Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, or Sadism and Masochism (“BDSM”) deserve the same human rights as everyone else, and should not be discriminated against for pursuing BDSM with consenting adults.

This page links to off site ongoing campaigns, BDSM-specific organizations, other human rights groups, and documents.

Campaigns related to specific abuses of the human rights of BDSM people.


Backlash
http://www.backlash-uk.org.uk

“The Home Office has begun a process to make it illegal to possess extreme adult images. … Backlash is the campaigning organisation bringing together individuals and activist groups to oppose this legislation.”

BDSM-HumanRights
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/BDSM-HumanRights

“On Wednesday 26th July 2000 in the UK began the start of a violation of human rights by an employer. So far it has resulted in the dismissal of someone because of so called ‘inappropriate activities’, that is involvement in BDSM. This list was set up as a place where people can be kept up to date with the progress of that case, find out how they can help with the ‘fight’ and as a general resource for others, in both the UK and other parts of the world, that find themselves in similar positions.”

Revise F65
http://www.revisef65.org/

“A European network built to work towards the removal of Fetishism and SM as psychiatric diagnoses from the ICD, the International Classification of Diseases published by the World Health Organization (WHO). The initiative was started by the Norwegian National Association for Lesbian and Gay Liberation (LLH) and is supported by the European region of the International Lesbian and Gay Association (ILGA) and the European Confereration of Motorcycle Clubs (ECMC.)”

BDSM Organisations

Organizations with an ongoing role in promoting the rights or civil liberties of BDSM people. National Leather Association

Resource Article : MissBonnie copyright (c) CollarNcuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channel.
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

Posted on

Sample 3

TEMPORARY CONTRACT OF CONSENSUAL OWNERSHIP

UPDATE 2024: please note there plenty more downloadable contacts contained within our Free Community under Free PDFs, Downloads and printables

The purpose of this instrument is to:

State the full mutual consent of the undersigned in regards to this relationship.

Explain the responsibilities and duties of both [Master/Mistress] and slave.

Define safewords and their use.

Explain the use of punishment.

Foster a greater sense of communication between the respective parties.

This contract is in no way legally binding, and is meant only as an aid to better understanding of the needs, duties and responsibilities of [Master/Mistress] and slave.

I …………….. , hereinafter referred to as slave, do of my own free will, and being of sound mind and body, do hereby offer myself in consensual slavery to…………….. , hereinafter referred to as [Master/Mistress], for the period beginning at midnight on and ending at midnight on…………….. .
This agreement may be terminated at any time before the above named date by either party only in the event of breach of contract. On the above named date this agreement will be reviewed, renegotiated and rewritten, or terminated.

Provisions of Contract

1.) Slave agrees to obey to the best of [his/her] ability, and to devote [him/her]self entirely to the pleasure and desires of [Master/Mistress]. Slave also renounces all rights to [his/her] own pleasure, comfort, or gratification except insofar as permitted by [Master/Mistress]. [Master/Mistress] agrees to learn what excites slave through exploration and communication and try to incorporate this into the relationship.

2.) [Master/Mistress] accepts full responsibility of slave. This includes but is not limited to: slave’s survival, health, physical well being, and mental well being. Slave accepts full responsibility for informing [Master/Mistress] of any real or perceived dangers or safety concerns, but also agrees that [Master/Mistress]’s decision will be final regarding these issues. [Master/Mistress] agrees that slave will not be punished for respectfully stating these concerns. [Master/Mistress] further agrees to listen to slave’s concerns with a clear and open mind. [Master/Mistress] shall endeavor not to inflict physical harm upon slave which might require the attention of someone outside the relationship.

3.) Slave agrees at all times to make [his/her] body readily available to [Master/Mistress] for [his/her] use. Slave will have hair washed and brushed in the style [Master/Mistress] prefers at all times. Slave agrees to wear any and all clothing, makeup, jewelry, etc. that [Master/Mistress] chooses.

4.) Slave agrees to accept the responsibility of using a safeword or safe gesture when necessary. Slave acknowledges that safeword is “…………….. ” and safe gesture is……………… [Master/Mistress] accepts the responsibility of stopping activities in progress to assess situations where slave safewords and will, to the best of [his/her] ability, make judgment on whether to modify the activity or stop activity entirely. Slave agrees to hold no ill will due to [Master/Mistress]’s decision. [Master/Mistress] agrees not to punish slave for the use of a safeword or safe gesture.

5.) Slave agrees to answer any and all questions asked by [Master/Mistress] freely, promptly, and to the best of [his/her] knowledge. Slave further agrees to volunteer any information that [Master/Mistress] should know regarding slave’s physical or emotional state. [Master/Mistress] agrees to never use this information to harm slave in any way.

6.) [Master/Mistress] agrees to furnish all toys such as vibrators, etc. and punishment implements such as crops and whips. Slave agrees to clean and maintain all toys and implements, have them available for [Master/Mistress]’s use at all times, and inform [Master/Mistress] of any needed repairs or replacements.

7.) Slave states that [his/her] limits are, but are not limited to: . [Master/Mistress] agrees to never violate these limits without prior negotiation of, and consent by, slave.

8.) Slave agrees to address [Master/Mistress] as [Sir/Ma’am] or [Master/Mistress] unless otherwise directed. Slave agrees to speak respectfully to [Master/Mistress] at all times, including times not spent in a scene. [Master/Mistress] may address slave in any way [he/she] so chooses.

9.) [Master/Mistress] agrees to furnish slave with a symbolic token of ownership. Slave agrees to wear this symbol at all times, except when [Master/Mistress] states to do so would be inappropriate or would non-consensually involve others.

10.) Slave agrees and understands that any infractions of this agreement, or any act slave commits which displeases [Master/Mistress], will result in punishment. Slave will gracefully accept punishment and try to learn from it. Slave agrees to assemble the punishment materials as ordered by [Master/Mistress] and assume any position needed to accept the punishment. Slave understands that failure to comply with [Master/Mistress]’s orders will result in a more severe punishment. [Master/Mistress] will inform slave that [he/she] is being punished when punishment occurs, and will explain the reason for punishment either before, during, or following punishment. [Master/Mistress] agrees to discipline only out of a desire to better the slave and [his/her] servitude, and further agrees to never punish out of, or during, feelings of anger.

Accepted, understood and agreed to

this…………….. day of…………….. , ……………..:

By: …………….. , [Master/Mistress]

…………….. , slave

Resource Article: MissBonnie © Collarncuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channel.
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

Posted on

CONTRACT 2

UPDATE 2024: please note there plenty more downloadable contacts contained within our Free Community under Free PDFs, Downloads and printables

1. I agree and accept willingly that, once I enter into the this Contract, I agree to please my Master to the best of my ability, and I understand and accept that I now exist solely for the pleasure of my Master, to be trained, disciplined and punished if and when my Master deems it necessary.

2. My Master has agreed to not inflict any physical harm upon my body that would require the attention of anyone outside of our relationship, and has thoughtfully agreed that no discipline, training or punishment shall take place if he has consumed any alcohol or any drug which would thus impair his ability to keep me from any physical or mental or emotional harm.

3. My Master and I understand and agree that I hold veto power over any command given by my Master, at which time I may rightfully refuse to obey that command, but only under these specific circumstances which my Master and I have agreed upon:

  • a. Where a command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution.
  • b. Where said command may cause extreme damage to my life, such as losing my job, causing family stress, etc.
  • c. Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm.
  • d. Where said command may cause psychological trauma.
  • e. Where said command is issued in a public place that was not agreed upon beforehand, and reveals to anyone else our relationship.
  • f. Where said command is issued during a time that my Master has consumed any drug or alcohol, thus impairing his ability to keep me from harm.

4. I agree to accept any punishment, discipline or training regimen my master decides to inflict upon me, whether earned or not, whether physical or mental or emotional, without hesitation.

5. My Master and I have agreed beforehand that punishment, discipline, and/or training, shall not involve any of the following, defined hereby as “Abuse”:

  • a. Drawing or release of blood.
  • b. Burning or mutilation of my body in any way.
  • c. Drastic loss of circulation.
  • d. Internal bleeding or complications.
  • e. Loss of consciousness, hearing, sight, smell, touch or taste.
  • f. Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, sunlight and/or warmth, for extended periods of time.
  • g. Forcing the consumption of any illegal drug in any form at any time.

6. My Master and I have also agreed that because my body now belongs to my Master, he shall immediately undertake the responsibility of protecting my body not only from temporary harm as stated directly above, but also permanent bodily harm.

7. My Master and I have agreed beforehand that punishment, discipline and/or training shall not involve any of the following, hereby defined as “Permanent Bodily Harm”:

  • a. Death
  • b. Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones.
  • c. Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, or tattoos, unless accepted by the slave.
  • d. Any loss of hair, unless accepted by the slave.
  • e. Any piercing of the flesh which leaves a permanent hole, unless accepted by the slave.
  • f. Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.

8. My Master and I have also agreed that because my mind now belongs to my Master, he shall immediately undertake the responsibility of protecting my mind from permanent harm.

9. My Master and I have agreed beforehand that punishment, discipline, and/or training, shall not involve any of the following, hereby defined as “Permanent Mental Harm”:

  • a. Formal brainwashing or hypnosis sessions, unless expressly agreed upon by the slave, and then only by a third party trained professional.
  • b. Electric shock to temples or any other mind altering application of force or energy.
  • c. Any mind altering drugs of any kind.
  • d. Sleep, food, sunlight or other forms of deprivation or neglect specifically designed to break down my mental capacity in any way.

10. I am aware that as a slave, I will be required to maintain a positive outlook and have correct thinking as such, and my Master may assist me with that in any way he sees fit.

11. My Master and I have agreed that at any time I may utilize a “Safe Word”, and that whatever punishment, discipline, or training that is happening at that time shall immediately and without hesitation cease, and that time shall be called a “Safe Period”, wherein the following rules shall apply:

  • a. During any Safe Period, my Master and I shall resolve any issues before continuing any punishment, discipline or training.
  • b. I cannot use a Safe Word for no reason, and must supply a specific reason each time.
  • c. No punishments, discipline or training will take place during a Safe Period and I shall be free to express my concerns, and speak freely without fear of harm or punishment.
  • d. I understand and willingly accept, however, that the I will continue to address my Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.
  • e. There is no limit to the amount of times during any given period the Safe Word may be utilized, and thusly, Safe Periods.

12. My Master and I have agreed that I may ask for a “Free Period” to express my concerns, to speak freely and without fear of harm or punishment. The following rules shall apply at all times:

  • a. These shall occur only once per day, and only if requested by Master or I.
  • b. They shall never last more than one hour, unless my Master wishes it to continue past that time.
  • c. They are not cumulative.
  • d. My Master has complete control over when these Free Periods shall take place, but has agreed that they shall take place on the same day that I request it.
  • e. There will be no punishment, discipline or training applied during Free Periods.

13. I understand and willingly accept, however, that I will continue to address my Master with respect and love at all times and that deviations from this rule are subject to punishment at a later time.

14. For clarification purposes only, the Safe Period is a time that I request to cease all actions immediately, and the Free Period is a time that I request that my Master schedules when he sees fit at some point at his discretion during that same day.

15. I accept and agree to not take any other Master or lover, or to be sexual or submissive to any other person, without the express and explicit direction and command of my Master, and I understand to do so would result in extreme punishment and possible termination of this contract.

16. My Master has agreed that he shall take no other slave, without considering my emotional response to such actions first, and acting accordingly.

17. My Master has agreed that he will not upset my emotional balance or ignore me over another slave at any time.

18. My Master and I have agreed that he shall never under any circumstances, give me to another master, for any reason whatsoever, unless the guidelines of this contract are wholeheartedly followed by that master at all times and without exception, and it will be my Master’s sole responsibility to determine if this is the case, and I agree and will accept my Master’s decision in all respects to this and trust his decisions unwaveringly, as my Master has agreed that a breach in contract of any other master would also be considered a breach in contract of my Master as well.

19. My Master and I have agreed that all physical evidence of my slavery to my Master shall be kept in strictest secrecy, except where my Master and I have agreed otherwise.

20. My Master and I have agreed that any alterations to this contract will be printed and signed and attached as addendum to this original contract before said addendum is enforced, and that it will not be necessary to include any edicts or commands or rules, etc, put forth by my Master into this contract.

21. I agree to give all of my worldly possessions to my Master, to give my physical body to my Master completely and without exception, and to pleasure my Master as he requests and as often as he requests.

22. I understand and accept willingly that my Master may punish me, command me, train me, and love me how my Master sees fit, at any time, any place, under any circumstance.

23. My Master and I have agreed that Private Rules of Conduct shall be created and posted in the house which we reside, in a private place not for display to the public or unannounced visitors, and that it will be my responsibility to always know any changes to any rules of conduct set forth and follow them explicitly and without exception, that my Master may change these rules of conduct at any time, without notice, and does not need to post them in order for me to follow them, and that these rules are to govern my actions within the confines of my Master’s house.

24. My Master and I have agreed that publicly, we shall both conduct ourselves in such a manner as to not call attention to our Master and slave relationship, that I will defer to my Master at all times in public, and shall call him by his proper name when appropriate, and that my Master has agreed that only persons we have both agreed upon shall know about our relationship and/or contract.

25. Parties or gatherings specifically created for other Masters and slaves shall not be considered public places, our participation in such parties will be voluntary to both parties beforehand, during these gatherings I shall abide by all rules, edicts, and commands of my Master, just as if we were in private, with no exceptions.

26. If, during a party or gathering specifically created for other Masters and slaves, my Master wishes me to participate in any way, with another slave or Master, he has graciously agreed to discuss this with me beforehand and make such requests in these situations with my acceptance beforehand.

27. I agree and willingly accept my duties as slave.

28. I shall speak of my Master in terms of love, respect, and adoration at all times, I will address him at all times as “Sir” or “Master”, or however else he sees fit, and I shall abide by all items set forth in this contract, as well as any future edicts, commands or orders to the best of my ability, and understand there may be adverse consequences should I not carry out my Master’s requests or follow his rules to his satisfaction.

29. My Master has granted me the freedom to to engage in any and all activities not actively forbidden by this contract, or by later edict of my Master, and all rights and privileges not otherwise noted in this contract belong to my Master, and He may exercise them as He chooses.

30. My Master and I have agreed that no part of this contract is intended to interfere with my career, my Master wishes me to work hard and honestly, in general, and to conduct myself in a manner calculated to bring honor and respect to both of us.

31. My Master has graciously agreed, during periods of work, that I am permitted to schedule appointments, to dress in a manner appropriate to work, and to leave the house when necessary for work, and during periods of work, or if at home, I may answer the telephone, if necessary, and discuss business without the express permission of my Master.

32. My Master and I have agreed that for these reasons only do I have the right to terminate this contract immediately, and with no recourse to myself:

  • a. Abuse, as outlined above in section 5a-g, either intentional or accidental, or as a direct result from consuming alcohol or drugs.
  • b. Permanent bodily harm, either intentional or accidental, or as a direct result from consuming alcohol or drugs, as outlined above in section 7a-f.
  • c. Permanent mental harm, either intentional or accidental, or as a direct result from consuming alcohol or drugs, as outlined above in section 9a-d.
  • d. Breach of this contract by another Master, by charge of my Master, or as a direct result from consuming alcohol or drugs, as outlined above in section 18.
  • e. Exposed evidence of my slavery as outlined above in section 19.
  • f. Any addendums further agreed upon by my Master and I that are attached to this contract and signed by both parties will be considered as part of this contract as well.

33. Should any situations occur as outlined in section 32a-f, and I should still continue to want to uphold this contract in full, my Master and I shall put in writing what occurred as well as my decision to continue this contract, and that will be attached to this contract and signed by both of us, unless my Master wishes the contract ended at that time, because of said situation.

34. My Master and I have agreed that my Master may choose to end this contract at any time, and for any reason, without explanation.

35. This contract has no preset time limit and shall not end, except due to a specific reason noted in Section

36. I have read and fully understand this contract, and am entering into this contract under my own free will.

37. I have not been coerced in any way to enter into this contract.

38. By signing below, I agree to accept and obey all preceding rules without question, as well as any rules my Master may choose to issue at a later date, and I gratefully and willingly consign my body, mind, soul and worldly possesions to my Master, for His pleasure and use any way he sees fit.

I humbly request his acceptance of this contract in full.
Slave:
Date:
I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property, including her body, mind, soul, and worldly possessions, and to care for her to the best of my ability. I shall provide for her security and well-being and command her, train her, and punish her as a slave, soberly, and as I see fit. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall ever come to her as long as she is mine, and this contract is in effect. I accept My slave’s desire to serve Me more fully, and take responsibility for her well-being, training, and discipline, to more perfectly serve My will.
Master:
Date:

I hereby witness this contract, that both parties have entered into such contract willingly and lovingly, and free of coercion or fear.
Witness:
Date:

Example of an Extremely Simple Contract

Where partners are very trusting of each other, or very experienced in BDSM a simplified contract may work better.

CONTRACT:

This contract between , the slave, and , the Master is as follows:

1. Nothing that will permanently harm the slave shall ever exist, either physically, mentally or emotionally, from anything Master does within the lifestyle.

2. Neither partner will share other partners without consent.

3. slave will do everything Master says, without limits EXCEPT FOR scat, watersports, necrophilia, pedophilia, and anything illegal, so long as these first two rules are followed.

slave:

Master:

Celebration

Once a slave contract has gone through it’s various drafts and is finally agreed upon, some celebrate the event with a “collaring ceremony”, in which the local D/s community is invited to witness the commitment made in the document. Some ceremonies become quite elaborate, and can be as involved as a wedding or any similar ritual.

Resource Article : MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com 2006

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channel.
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

Posted on

Sample Contract 1

UPDATE: please note there plenty more downloadable contacts contained within our Free Community under Free PDFs, Downloads and printables

This contract is provided as a secure and binding agreement which defines in specific terms the relationship and interaction between two individuals, hereafter termed the slave and the master (both terms are intended to be independent of sex). This agreement is legal and binding between said couple. This agreement must be entered voluntarily, but cannot be broken except under the conditions stated herein, after which certain precautions shall be taken to protect those involved. (See section 7.0.0)

1.0.0 Slave’s Role

The slave agrees to submit completely to the master in all ways. There are no boundaries of place, time, or situation in which the slave may willfully refuse to obey the directive of the master without risking punishment, except in situations where the slave’s veto (see section 1.0.1) applies. The slave also agrees that, once entered into the Slavery Contract, their body belongs to their master ,, to be used as seen fit, within the guidelines defined herein. All of the slave’s possessions likewise belong to the master , including all assets, finances, and material goods, to do with as they see fit. The slave agrees to please the master to the best of their ability, in that they now exist solely for the pleasure of said master .

1.0.1 Slave’s Veto

The slave, where appropriate, holds veto power over any command given by the master , at which time they may rightfully refuse to obey that command. This power may only be invoked under the following circumstances, or where agreed by both master and slave: a.Where said command conflicts with any existing laws and may lead to fines, arrest, or prosecution of the slave . b.Where said command may cause extreme damage to slave’s life, such as losing their job, causing family stress,etc. c.Where said command may cause permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0) to the slave . d.Where said command may cause psychological trauma to the slave, such as a rape scene for a slave that has been raped in the past.

2.0.0 Mistress Role

The Mistress accepts the responsibility of the slave’s body and worldly possessions, to do with as they see fit, under the provisions determined in this contract. The master agrees to care for the slave , to arrange for the safety and well-being o f the slave , as long as they own the slave . The Mistress also accepts the commitment to treat the slave properly, to train the slave, punish the slave, love the slave, and use the slave as they see fit.

3.0.0 Punishment

The slave agrees to accept any punishment the master decides to inflict, whether earned or not.

3.0.1 Rules of Punishment

Punishment of the slave is subject to certain rules designed to protect the slave from intentional abuse or permanent bodily harm (see 4.0.0). Punishment must not incur permanent bodily harm, or the following forms of abuse: a.Blood may not be drawn at any time. Punishment must stop immediately if blood is drawn b.Burning the body c.Drastic loss of circulation d.Causing internal bleeding e.Loss of consciousness f.Withholding of any necessary materials, such as food, water, or sunlight for extended periods of time

4.0.0 Permanent Bodily Harm

Since the body of the slave now belongs to the master , it is the master’s responsibility to protect that body from permanent bodily harm. Should the slave ever come to permanent bodily harm during the course of punishment or in any other slavery related activity, whether by intention or accident, it will be grounds for immediate termination of this contract, should the slave so desire. Permanent bodily harm shall be determined as: a.Death b.Any damage that involves loss of mobility or function, including broken bones. c.Any permanent marks on the skin, including scars, burns, or tattoos, unless accepted by the slave . d.Any loss of hair, unless accepted by the slave . e.Any piercing of the flesh which leaves a permanent hole, unless accepted by the slave . f.Any diseases that could result in any of the above results, including sexually transmitted diseases.

5.0.0 Others

The slave may not seek any other master or lover or relate to others in any sexual or submissive way without the master’s permission. To do so will be considered a breach of contract, and will result in extreme punishment. The master may accept other slaves or lovers, but must consider the slave’s emotional response to such actions and act accordingly. Under no circumstance should the master allow such actions to unbalance the slave emotionally, or allow such actions to result in ignoring the slave . The master may give the slave to other masters, provided the rules of this contract are upheld. In such a situation, the master will inform the new master of the provisions stated herein, and any breach by the new master will be considered a breach by the master as well, subject to all rules stated in this contract.

6.0.0 Secrecy

All physical evidence of the slavery will be kept in total secrecy, except where both master and slave agree. Any violation of this clause shall be cause to terminate this contract, should the injured party wish it. The materials and physical evidence shall be kept under lock and key in a place acceptable to both parties.

7.0.0 Alteration of Contract

This contract may not be altered, except when both master and slave agree. If the contract is altered, the new contract shall be printed and signed, and then the old contract must be destroyed.

8.0.0 Termination of Contract

This contract may be terminated at any time by the master , but never by the slave, except under special conditions explained within this contract. Upon termination, all physical evidence of the slavery, including this contract, will be destroyed, and all materials and belongings shall belong to the master , to be shared or kept as they see fit. The slave , owning nothing and having agreed to give up all worldly possessions and body to the master , shall once again own their body, but nothing else, unless the master decides to give back their possessions.

9.0.0 Slave’s Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to give everything I own to my master, and further accept their claim of ownership over my physical body. I understand tha I will be commanded and trained and punished as a slave, and I promise to be true and to fulfill the pleasures and desires of my master to the best of my abilities. I understand that I cannot withdraw from this contract except as stated in this contract.

Signature:

9.0.1 Mistress Signature

I have read and fully understand this contract in its entirety. I agree to accept this slave as my property, body and possessions, and to care for them to the best of my ability. I shall provide for their security and well-being and command them, train them, and punish them as a slave. I understand the responsibility implicit in this arrangement, and agree that no harm shall come to the slave as long as they are mine. I further understand that I can withdraw from this contract at any time. Signature:

Resource Article: MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com

Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Partner check list – A list a great place to start to get to know your partner or open up communication channel.
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.

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