Exploring Castration Play: Verbal and Physical Dynamics

Table of Contents

Introduction to Castration Play

Castration play, a distinctive niche within the broader BDSM spectrum, revolves around the theme of castration, entailing the imagined or symbolic removal or deactivation of the testicles. This form of play can manifest through various verbal and physical dynamics, each adding unique layers of psychological and emotional intensity. Understanding castration play requires a nuanced comprehension of its intricacies, as well as the socio-cultural implications that accompany such activities.

It is imperative to delineate that castration play, in its authentic BDSM context, does not involve actual castration. Instead, it focuses on the symbolic or simulated aspects, often for the purposes of power exchange, control, and erotic humiliation. The distinction between play and reality is crucial, as real castration carries significant physical and psychological risks and should only be conducted within a clinical environment under stringent medical supervision.

Engaging in castration play necessitates a profound level of trust and communication between participants. Consent, a cornerstone of all BDSM practices, is paramount. All parties must have a clear understanding of boundaries, limits, and safe words to ensure the experience remains consensual and enjoyable. The socio-cultural implications of engaging in such play also merit consideration, as perceptions of masculinity, power, and vulnerability are inherently tied to the concept of castration.

By exploring the verbal and physical dynamics of castration play, this blog post aims to shed light on the motivations and experiences of those who partake in this form of BDSM. Through a balanced examination, we seek to provide a comprehensive overview that respects the intricacies of castration play while emphasizing the importance of safety, consent, and mutual respect. Understanding these elements is essential for anyone interested in exploring or learning more about this provocative and complex form of erotic expression.

Verbal Castration Play

Verbal castration play engages participants in an intricate psychological interplay, focusing on discussion and descriptive elements rather than physical acts. This form of play can involve a range of scenarios, each designed to evoke intense emotional and psychological responses. One common scenario includes discussing future castration, where threats or detailed planning are articulated to create a heightened sense of anticipation and vulnerability. This discussion can be a powerful tool in building tension and excitement within the dynamic.

Another scenario involves describing current sensations to a blindfolded partner, framing the experience within the context of castration. By manipulating sensory deprivation and the power of suggestion, the dominant partner can create an immersive experience that feels profoundly real to the submissive partner. This method relies on the skillful use of language and tone to convey the desired effects vividly.

For individuals who have been detesticulated or undergone a vasectomy, reflecting on past experiences can be a meaningful aspect of verbal castration play. Sharing and revisiting these experiences can foster connection and understanding between partners, while also deepening the psychological impact of the play. It provides a space for exploring and processing complex emotions associated with these procedures.

Clear communication and consent are paramount in verbal castration play. Both partners must have a thorough understanding of each other’s boundaries and limits to ensure a safe and consensual experience. This form of play requires a high level of trust and openness, as it delves deeply into personal and potentially sensitive topics.

Additionally, it is essential to respect the gender interpretation of the receiving partner. For some, castration may be perceived as feminizing, while for others, it may carry different connotations. Acknowledging and honoring these interpretations ensures that the play remains affirming and respectful of each partner’s identity and experience.

Physical Castration Play

Physical castration play involves a range of activities designed to simulate the experience of castration without causing permanent physical harm. This dimension of castration play often incorporates techniques from cock and ball torture (CBT), emphasizing the symbolic and psychological impacts of implied genital damage over the infliction of pain. The activities can vary widely, from mild forms of genital bondage to more intense simulations, all structured to enhance the socio-cultural meanings attached to the concept of castration.

In physical castration play, clearly defined roles are essential. The dominant partner, often referred to as the castrator or castratrix, assumes control, guiding the experience according to previously established boundaries and consent. On the other side, the submissive partner, who may identify as a steer, sissy, or other roles within the dynamic, engages in the experience with the understanding that it is a consensual and controlled environment.

The success of physical castration play heavily relies on mutual trust and clear communication. Prior to engaging in any activity, participants must discuss and agree upon the limits and safe words, ensuring that all actions remain within the boundaries of consensual play. This preparation is crucial to avoid any unintended harm and to maintain the psychological and emotional safety of both parties.

Establishing these parameters not only ensures a safe experience but also enhances the psychological impact of the play. When participants feel secure in their boundaries, they can more fully engage in the emotional and symbolic aspects of castration play. This form of play can be deeply fulfilling for those involved, provided that it is approached with respect, understanding, and a commitment to the well-being of all participants.

In conclusion, physical castration play is a complex and nuanced practice that requires careful consideration of boundaries, roles, and consent. By focusing on the symbolic significance rather than purely on physical sensations, participants can explore the intricate dynamics of power and vulnerability inherent in this form of play.

Engaging in castration play requires a profound commitment to consent and safety. Establishing clear and open communication between partners is essential to ensure mutual understanding and agreement on the boundaries of the play. This includes detailed discussions about what each participant is comfortable with, any hard limits, and clear safe words or signals that can be used to pause or stop the play immediately. Explicit consent is paramount, particularly when it comes to physical actions that may occur during the scene. Partners should negotiate and agree on every aspect beforehand, leaving no room for ambiguity.

The psychological impact of verbal play in castration scenarios should not be overlooked. Words can have a powerful effect, and it is crucial for all parties involved to be aware of the potential emotional ramifications. Continuous check-ins and reassurances during the play can help mitigate any unintended psychological distress. Additionally, participants should be mindful of each other’s emotional state and body language, ready to halt the activity if either partner shows signs of discomfort or distress.

It is imperative to address the potential risks and dangers associated with actual castration. Genuine castration should only be considered as a valid body modification under informed consent in a clinical setting. Unauthorized or non-professional attempts to perform castration can lead to severe physical harm, including infection, excessive bleeding, and even death. Therefore, any desires for permanent body modification must be approached with extreme caution and conducted by licensed medical professionals.

Aftercare is a vital component of castration play, which involves tending to the emotional and physical needs of all participants once the scene has concluded. This can include offering comfort, discussing the experience, and ensuring that everyone feels safe and respected. Ongoing communication post-play is crucial to address any lingering emotional or physical effects, reaffirming the mutual trust and understanding between partners.

By prioritizing consent, safety, and open communication, participants can explore castration play in a manner that is respectful, fulfilling, and secure for everyone involved.

Resource Article MissBonnie 2024

Understanding Dollification: The Art and Psychology of Becoming a Human Doll

Dolification

Table of Contents

Introduction to Dollification

Dollification is a unique and often misunderstood practice that involves the transformation of a person into a ‘doll.’ This transformation can be mental, physical, or a combination of both. The roots of dollification can be traced back to various cultural and historical contexts, where dolls have often symbolized ideals of beauty, perfection, and control. Over time, this fascination has evolved into a subculture with its own set of practices and rituals.

At its core, dollification involves the concept of domination, often incorporating elements like humiliation, objectification, degradation, and dehumanization. While these terms may seem negative, in the context of consensual doll play, they take on a different meaning. Participants willingly engage in these practices, finding a sense of freedom and expression in the roles they adopt. The consensual nature of this practice is paramount, ensuring that both the ‘doll’ and the ‘doll-maker’ are fully aware and agreeable to the boundaries and activities involved.

The reasons individuals are drawn to dollification are multifaceted. Some might find solace in the escape from their daily identities, while others may be intrigued by the aesthetic and performative aspects of becoming a human doll. For the doll-maker, the act of transforming another person can be a form of artistic expression, a way to manifest their ideals and control in a tangible form. The relationship between the doll and the doll-maker is often complex, encompassing elements of trust, power dynamics, and mutual respect.

Understanding dollification requires an open mind and a willingness to look beyond conventional norms. It is a practice rich in cultural significance, providing a unique lens through which to explore themes of identity, control, and transformation. As we delve deeper into the art and psychology of becoming a human doll, we will uncover the myriad ways in which this practice manifests and the profound impact it can have on those who engage in it.

Physical Transformations in Dollification

The pursuit of a doll-like appearance often involves a variety of physical transformations, ranging from permanent cosmetic procedures to temporary enhancements. These modifications are central to the practice of dollification, allowing individuals to embody the aesthetic and essence of a human doll. One of the most significant alterations involves cosmetic surgery. Procedures such as breast and buttock implants, rhinoplasty, and jawline contouring are commonly undertaken to mold the body and face into the desired doll-like proportions. These surgeries provide a lasting foundation for the dollification process, enabling individuals to maintain their transformed appearance over time.

Semi-permanent changes are also integral to achieving the doll aesthetic. Techniques such as ‘permanent’ makeup, which includes tattooed eyeliner, eyebrows, and lip color, help maintain a consistent and polished look. Additionally, lip and cheek fillers are frequently used to enhance facial features, creating fuller lips and more pronounced cheekbones that are characteristic of the doll-like visage.

Beyond these more permanent modifications, individuals often employ various outfits, costumes, and latex suits to further accentuate their transformation. These garments are specifically designed to enhance the illusion of a doll-like figure, with tight-fitting and often shiny materials that mimic the appearance of plastic or porcelain. Latex suits, in particular, are popular for their ability to provide a smooth, uniform surface that closely resembles the texture of a doll’s skin.

The application of makeup plays a critical role in dollification. Expertly applied makeup can dramatically alter one’s appearance, creating exaggerated eyes, rosy cheeks, and flawless skin. This is often complemented by the use of liquid latex to coat the body, adding an additional layer of smoothness and sheen that enhances the overall doll-like effect.

In summary, the physical transformations involved in dollification are multifaceted, encompassing a range of permanent, semi-permanent, and temporary changes. Through a combination of cosmetic procedures, makeup, and specialized clothing, individuals can achieve and maintain the distinctive and captivating appearance of a human doll.

Mental and Psychological Aspects of Dollification

The process of dollification extends far beyond the realm of physical transformation; it delves deeply into the mental and psychological dimensions. Individuals who engage in dollification often undergo various mental alterations facilitated by methods such as hypnosis and consensual operant or classical conditioning. Hypnosis serves as a tool to induce a trance-like state, enabling the doll to adopt new behaviors and thought patterns that align with their desired doll persona. Similarly, conditioning techniques are employed to reinforce these behaviors through positive or negative reinforcement, ensuring that the transformation is holistic and ingrained.

The psychological impact of these methods is profound. Hypnosis can alter an individual’s perception of reality, making the dollification experience more immersive. Conditioning, on the other hand, creates a structured environment where specific responses are elicited. This dual approach not only transforms the physical characteristics but also the mental state, facilitating a complete metamorphosis into the doll persona.

Another critical aspect of the mental state in dollification is the concept of ‘playing with the doll.’ This involves the doll adopting a position and maintaining it until directed to move, often minimizing breath sounds to enhance the illusion of being inanimate. This practice requires a high level of mental discipline and control, further deepening the psychological immersion into the doll role. The doll’s ability to remain still and silent can be seen as a testament to the psychological conditioning they have undergone.

Crucially, consent lies at the heart of this intricate psychological dynamic. The relationship between the doll and the doll-maker is built on mutual agreement and understanding. The doll’s autonomy and willingness to participate are paramount, ensuring that the transformation process is ethical and consensual. This dynamic fosters trust and respect, essential components in maintaining the psychological well-being of both parties involved.

Body Types and Identity in Dollification

Contrary to popular belief, dollification is not confined to a single body type. This intricate art form embraces a spectrum of physical appearances, allowing individuals of diverse body shapes and sizes to engage fully in the practice. The dollification community is inclusive, celebrating the unique attributes that each person brings to their doll persona. Whether someone has a petite frame, a curvaceous figure, or a muscular build, each body type can embody the essence of a human doll.

The inclusivity within the dollification community is paramount, as it encourages participants to explore and express their identities authentically. This practice transcends conventional beauty standards, fostering a space where self-perception and identity take precedence. Individuals often find that their unique body shapes contribute to their distinct doll identities, enhancing their sense of self and connection to the art form.

Body positivity and acceptance are integral to dollification. Participants are encouraged to embrace their natural forms and use the art of transformation to amplify their self-expression. This ethos of acceptance helps dismantle societal beauty norms, promoting a more inclusive and diverse representation of what it means to be a ‘doll.’ By valuing all body types, the dollification community empowers individuals to feel beautiful and confident in their own skin.

In essence, dollification is a celebration of individuality and self-expression. It provides a platform for people to explore their identities and embrace their unique physical attributes. Through this practice, the community fosters a supportive environment where diversity is not only accepted but also celebrated. In doing so, dollification redefines beauty, making it accessible and attainable for all, regardless of societal standards.

Resource Article MissBonnie2024

Exploring Sexual Degradation in BDSM: Psychology and Practice

Introduction to Sexual Degradation in BDSM

Sexual degradation in BDSM is a nuanced and complex practice that involves consensual activities where one partner may use language, behavior, or scenarios to degrade the other. This practice is rooted in power dynamics, where one partner, often referred to as the dominant, exerts control over the submissive partner. It is crucial to understand that, within the context of BDSM, all actions are consensual and negotiated beforehand to ensure that the experience is safe and enjoyable for everyone involved.

The terminology associated with sexual degradation can be diverse. Common terms include “degradation,” “humiliation,” and “debasement,” each carrying specific connotations. While degradation often implies a lowering of status or dignity, humiliation focuses on the emotional discomfort or embarrassment experienced by the submissive. Debasement, on the other hand, can involve acts that make the submissive feel lesser in some way. Despite these potentially negative connotations, many participants find these experiences profoundly fulfilling and cathartic.

At the core of engaging in sexual degradation is the principle of informed consent. Both parties must have a clear understanding of what each term and practice entails, and more importantly, they must mutually agree upon the limits and boundaries. This is typically achieved through open and honest communication, often facilitated by a pre-negotiation or a “check-in” process before any session. Safe words are also commonly used to ensure that either party can halt the activity immediately if it becomes too overwhelming or crosses a boundary.

Understanding personal boundaries is essential when exploring sexual degradation. Each individual’s comfort levels and limits are unique, and these should be respected at all times. The dominant must remain attuned to the submissive’s reactions, ensuring that the experience remains consensual and positive. The practice of sexual degradation, when conducted with mutual respect and clear communication, can enhance trust and intimacy between partners, providing a deeper connection within the BDSM dynamic.

Historical and Cultural Context of Sexual Degradation

The practice of sexual degradation within BDSM is deeply rooted in historical and cultural contexts that have evolved significantly over time. Societal perceptions of sexuality and power dynamics have played a crucial role in shaping the understanding and practices of sexual degradation. Historically, sexual power imbalances were often reflected in societal hierarchies, where dominant-submissive relationships were mirrored in the broader context of social and political structures.

In many ancient civilizations, sexual domination was both a symbol and a tool of power. For instance, in ancient Rome, sexual acts that involved domination and submission were not just personal preferences but also expressions of social status and control. The concept of sexual degradation in these contexts was intertwined with the exertion of power and control over others, often reflecting the broader societal hierarchies and norms.

As societies evolved, so did their views on sexuality and power dynamics. The medieval period saw the emergence of courtly love, which introduced more nuanced views of submission and dominance within romantic and sexual relationships. However, it wasn’t until the 20th century that sexual degradation as a component of BDSM began to be more openly discussed and practiced. The sexual revolution of the 1960s and 1970s played a pivotal role in challenging traditional norms and opening up discussions around alternative sexual practices, including BDSM.

Culturally, the perception and integration of sexual degradation in BDSM vary significantly. In Western cultures, the practice has become more mainstream, partly due to the influence of literature, media, and the growing acceptance of diverse sexual expressions. Conversely, in many Eastern cultures, practices of sexual degradation may still be viewed through a lens of taboo, influenced by traditional views on sexuality and modesty.

The intersection of cultural influences and historical contexts continues to shape the contemporary understanding and practices of sexual degradation in BDSM. As societal norms evolve, so too does the acceptance and integration of these practices, reflecting broader changes in attitudes towards sexuality and power dynamics.

Psychological Aspects of Sexual Degradation

Sexual degradation within BDSM is a complex phenomenon rooted in various psychological dynamics. For many individuals, the allure lies in the intricate interplay of power exchange, submission, and dominance. These elements create a framework where participants can explore their deepest desires and boundaries in a controlled, consensual environment. The psychological gratification derived from such practices is often linked to the release of endorphins, which can produce feelings of euphoria and pain relief.

One key aspect of the psychological appeal of sexual degradation is the concept of power exchange. In this dynamic, one partner assumes a dominant role while the other takes on a submissive role. This exchange of power can be deeply fulfilling, providing a sense of liberation for the submissive partner and a feeling of control and responsibility for the dominant partner. The voluntary surrender of control by the submissive can lead to a profound sense of trust and intimacy between partners, enhancing the overall experience.

Submission and dominance are not merely about physical acts; they also involve significant psychological components. Submissive individuals often report a release from stress and anxiety as they relinquish control, allowing them to experience a state of mental clarity and relaxation. Conversely, dominant individuals may find satisfaction in the responsibility and care they must exhibit, creating a nurturing yet authoritative dynamic.

Research studies and psychological theories offer further insights into these behaviors. Sigmund Freud’s theories on sadomasochism, for instance, suggest that these practices may be rooted in early developmental stages and unconscious desires. Modern research supports these ideas, indicating that individuals engaged in BDSM often display higher levels of psychological well-being and lower levels of anxiety compared to the general population.

Moreover, the practice of sexual degradation can trigger the release of endorphins, the body’s natural painkillers, which can enhance pleasure and create a sense of connection between partners. This biochemical response underscores the intricate link between physical sensations and psychological states within BDSM activities.

Personal Motivations and Desires

Engaging in sexual degradation within the context of BDSM is driven by a variety of personal motivations and desires. One significant factor is the emotional release it provides. For some individuals, the act of being degraded or degrading another can serve as a cathartic experience, offering a release from daily stress and societal expectations. This emotional release can be therapeutic, allowing participants to process complex emotions in a controlled environment.

Trust-building is another critical motivation. BDSM practices, particularly those involving sexual degradation, require a profound level of trust between partners. The act of consenting to and participating in such intimate and vulnerable activities can strengthen the bond between participants. This mutual trust is essential for ensuring that all parties feel safe and respected, creating a deeper emotional connection.

Exploring taboos is also a common reason why individuals engage in sexual degradation. Society often imposes strict norms and taboos around sexuality, and breaking these can be an exhilarating experience. For some, the act of transgressing these boundaries can be liberating, allowing them to explore parts of their identity that are usually suppressed.

Additionally, the thrill of pushing boundaries is a powerful motivator. BDSM practices, including sexual degradation, often involve testing personal limits and experiencing intense sensations. This thrill can be highly stimulating, both physically and mentally, as it pushes individuals beyond their comfort zones. The adrenaline rush associated with these activities can be addictive, drawing participants back for more.

Personal anecdotes and case studies further illustrate these motivations. For instance, one individual recounted how engaging in degradation allowed them to confront and overcome deep-seated insecurities, ultimately leading to greater self-acceptance. Another shared that the trust built through these practices significantly enhanced their relationship, fostering a level of intimacy they had never experienced before.

In summary, the personal motivations and desires behind engaging in sexual degradation within BDSM are multifaceted. Emotional release, trust-building, exploration of taboos, and the thrill of pushing boundaries all play crucial roles in why individuals choose to participate in these practices. These factors highlight the complex and deeply personal nature of BDSM, where the psychological and emotional aspects are as significant as the physical experiences.

Within the realm of BDSM, the significance of safety and consent cannot be overstated, especially when engaging in practices involving sexual degradation. Prioritizing these elements ensures that all parties involved have a mutually satisfying and psychologically safe experience. Clear and open communication is the foundation of any BDSM activity, and it is imperative to discuss desires, limits, and boundaries beforehand. This pre-negotiation phase allows participants to express their comfort levels and establish a consensual framework for the activities to follow.

Establishing boundaries is another critical aspect of engaging in sexual degradation. Participants should outline their hard limits—activities that are off the table under any circumstances—and soft limits—activities that may be negotiable under certain conditions. This helps to create a structured environment where everyone knows what to expect and can engage confidently. Safe words are also an essential tool in maintaining safety and consent. A safe word is a predetermined code used to communicate an immediate need to stop or pause the activity. Common safe words are often unrelated to the scene, such as “red” for stop and “yellow” for slow down, ensuring clarity during intense moments.

Aftercare is a crucial component following any BDSM session, but it is particularly vital after activities involving sexual degradation. Aftercare involves attending to the emotional and physical well-being of all participants, offering comfort, reassurance, and support. This phase helps to mitigate potential negative psychological impacts and fosters a sense of trust and connection. It may include cuddling, discussing the session, or simply spending time together in a calm environment.

Understanding the psychological impact of sexual degradation is also important. While many find these activities fulfilling, they can evoke complex emotions. Ongoing communication and mutual respect are essential in navigating these experiences safely. By adhering to these best practices, participants can enjoy the psychological and emotional benefits of BDSM while minimizing risks and fostering a consensual, respectful environment.

Incorporating Sexual Degradation into BDSM Scenes

Incorporating sexual degradation into BDSM scenes necessitates careful planning and open communication to ensure that all participants are comfortable and consenting. Sexual degradation is a nuanced aspect of BDSM, which can range from verbal humiliation to role-playing scenarios, each tailored to the desires and limits of those involved. Understanding the preferences and boundaries of everyone is crucial for a fulfilling and respectful experience.

One method to integrate sexual degradation is through verbal interactions. This can involve the use of derogatory language and name-calling, which should be pre-negotiated to avoid crossing personal boundaries. For instance, phrases like “worthless” or “dirty” might be used, but only if they align with the submissive’s comfort level. It’s essential to establish safe words or signals that can halt the scene immediately if it becomes too intense.

Role-playing scenarios can also be utilized to incorporate sexual degradation. Common scenarios include teacher-student dynamics, master-servant roles, or prisoner-guard situations, where the dominant assumes a position of authority. These scenarios often involve the submissive being given demeaning tasks or being placed in humiliating positions, which can be both mentally and physically engaging. Tailoring these scenes to the specific fantasies and boundaries of all participants ensures a positive experience.

Physical activities can also play a role in sexual degradation. Acts like spanking, forced nudity, or being led on a leash can enhance the feeling of degradation, provided they are consensual and desired by the submissive. Introducing these elements gradually and checking in regularly can help maintain a safe and enjoyable environment.

Ultimately, the key to incorporating sexual degradation into BDSM scenes lies in mutual respect and thorough communication. Discussing desires, limits, and potential triggers before engaging in any activity creates a foundation of trust and understanding. This careful approach allows for a more profound connection and a more satisfying experience for all parties involved.

Ethical Considerations and Misconceptions

When exploring the realm of sexual degradation in BDSM, it is crucial to distinguish between consensual degradation and abuse. Ethical considerations play a pivotal role in ensuring that all activities are conducted safely, consensually, and with respect for all parties involved. Consent is the cornerstone of BDSM practices; without it, any act of degradation can quickly spiral into abuse. Both participants must have a clear understanding and agreement of the boundaries and limits, ensuring that the experience is mutually satisfying and respectful.

One of the most common misconceptions about sexual degradation in BDSM is that it inherently involves harm or disrespect. In reality, these practices are grounded in trust and mutual respect. The individuals involved are often in continuous communication, checking in with each other to ensure that both parties feel comfortable and safe. This ongoing dialogue helps to further solidify the trust and understanding that underpins consensual BDSM activities.

Another prevalent myth is that those who engage in sexual degradation within BDSM are somehow psychologically damaged or seeking to inflict harm. On the contrary, many participants view these activities as a means of exploring their own boundaries and deepening their relationships. Far from being an indicator of psychological issues, consensual degradation can be a form of expression and intimacy that both parties find fulfilling.

It is also important to recognize the diversity within the BDSM community. Sexual degradation is not a one-size-fits-all practice; it varies widely depending on the preferences and consensual agreements of the individuals involved. What may be considered degrading to one person might be seen as an empowering experience by another. This highlights the importance of personalized negotiation and consent in any BDSM activity.

In summary, understanding the ethical considerations and debunking the misconceptions surrounding sexual degradation in BDSM is essential. By emphasizing consent, mutual respect, and clear communication, participants can ensure that their experiences are safe, consensual, and mutually enjoyable. This balanced perspective helps to demystify the practice and highlights the importance of ethical engagement in BDSM activities.

Resources for Further Learning and Support

For those interested in delving deeper into the complexities of sexual degradation within BDSM, numerous resources are available to enhance understanding and provide support. Below are some recommended avenues for further learning:

Books:

The New Bottoming Book by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy: This book offers insights into the submissive role, including aspects related to sexual degradation, and is a valuable resource for both beginners and experienced practitioners.

Playing Well with Others by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams: Focusing on the social dynamics of BDSM, this book covers various aspects of consensual power exchange, including degradation and humiliation.

Websites:

-Our site Collarncuffs,com is an online platform offering educational videos and articles on various BDSM topics, including sexual degradation. Why not join the many here that share your interests.

FetLife: A social networking site for the BDSM community, where users can join groups, participate in discussions, and find local events related to their interests. FL is the number one used site for local events.

Workshops and Professional Organizations:

National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (NCSF): Offers workshops, resources, and support for individuals involved in consensual BDSM practices.

– Local BDSM groups and events: Many cities have local BDSM organizations that host workshops and events. These can be excellent opportunities to learn from experienced practitioners and connect with the community.

If professional help is needed, seeking out a therapist or counselor who is knowledgeable and affirming of BDSM practices can be essential. Organizations such as the Kink Aware Professionals (KAP) directory can help locate professionals who are familiar with and supportive of BDSM lifestyles.

By utilizing these resources, individuals can gain a deeper understanding of sexual degradation within BDSM, ensuring that their practices are safe, consensual, and fulfilling.

Resource Article MissBonnie 2024

BDSM Branding: What You Need to Know

BDSM strike branding

Table of Contents

Introduction to Femdom BDSM Branding

BDSM branding is a niche but significant practice within the broader BDSM community. At its core, branding involves marking the skin with a symbol or design, often using heat, to create a permanent or semi-permanent mark. While the concept of branding has historical roots in various cultures as a means of denoting ownership, status, or affiliation, its adoption in BDSM practices carries unique implications and meanings.

Historically, branding has been utilized for a multitude of purposes, from marking livestock to signify ownership to religious or tribal symbols denoting one’s status or role within a community. In the context of BDSM, branding is a form of body modification that can symbolize deep commitment, ownership, or belonging between consenting partners. It is a practice that, like many other aspects of BDSM, is built upon mutual consent, trust, and a thorough understanding of the emotional and psychological ramifications involved.

The psychological appeal of BDSM branding can be profound. For some individuals, the act of being branded by a partner can evoke a deep sense of connection and belonging. It is often considered a rite of passage or a testament to the strength of the bond between the individuals involved. The permanence of a brand can also symbolize an enduring commitment, serving as a physical manifestation of the emotional and psychological ties that bind the partners together.

Emotionally, the process of receiving a brand can be intense. It requires a high level of trust and vulnerability, as well as a clear understanding of the risks and responsibilities associated with such a practice. For many, the experience is empowering, providing a sense of identity and solidarity within the BDSM community. It is an act that goes beyond the physical, tapping into deep-seated desires and emotions that are often integral to the dynamics of BDSM relationships.

Dangers and Risks of BDSM Branding

BDSM branding, while a profound expression of commitment and trust within the dynamics of consensual power exchange, carries substantial risks that must be acknowledged and understood. Physically, branding involves inflicting burns on the skin to create permanent marks, which inherently carries the risk of severe burns that can lead to significant pain, infection, and long-term scarring. The process of creating these marks requires precise control and sterilization to prevent complications such as bacterial infections, which can result in more serious health issues if not properly managed.

Branding, simply put but not simple in action, is burning the skin’s surface to make a mark. This mark can be either temporary or permanent. The temporary kind is often referred to as a “surface burn.” A skillfully done surface burn will usually begin to fade within a few months; after a year, the most that will remain is a residual redness – depending upon the skin type. Extreme masochists love this type of play, which has no shortage of pain.

Permanent branding is quite a bit more complicated than one would expect. Most experienced branders work in 316L stainless steel sheet metal and shape it into different parts of the brand. They build their designs using sequential “strikes” of thin metal pieces to make the complete brand. Heated by a propane torch, the temperature is critical. Too hot, you can injure muscle tissue or ruin the brand with too much scarification. Too little heat, the brand will look weak. And all the strikes must be applied with equal pressure and identical heat or an uneven brand will result. To properly brand a person takes a lot of skill; we are, after all, not cattle. And remember, the results are not as predictable as tattoos;  you must expect some unexpected results.  

Additionally, improper aftercare can exacerbate these risks, leading to further complications. Scarring, while often intended, can vary widely in appearance and may not heal as expected, leaving the individual with unintended physical alterations. The permanence of branding means that any missteps during the procedure or in post-care can have lasting physical consequences.

Beyond the physical risks, the psychological and emotional implications of BDSM branding are equally significant. The act of branding is irreversible, and the permanence of the mark can lead to future regret or emotional distress. In some cases, individuals may experience trauma, particularly if the branding process does not go as planned or if the individual later changes their perception of the mark’s significance. The emotional weight of a permanent brand can also strain the dynamics of the relationship if one party’s feelings about the brand evolve differently over time.

Given these considerable risks, it is imperative for all parties involved to fully understand and agree to the procedure. Informed consent is crucial, ensuring that everyone involved is aware of the potential physical and emotional consequences. This agreement must be made with a clear understanding of the risks, and both parties should be prepared to handle any complications that may arise. Proper education, preparation, and aftercare are essential components in mitigating these dangers and ensuring that the experience remains safe and consensual.

Safety Precautions for BDSM Branding

Ensuring safety in BDSM branding is paramount to minimizing risks and promoting well-being. Proper preparation is essential, beginning with the selection of a sterile environment. This precaution helps to significantly reduce the likelihood of infections. The area chosen for the procedure should be thoroughly cleaned and disinfected, with all surfaces sanitized. Using clean, sanitized equipment is equally important. All tools should be sterilized before use to maintain a hygienic setting.

The role of a knowledgeable and experienced practitioner cannot be overstated. Engaging someone with expertise in BDSM branding ensures that the procedure is conducted safely and effectively. An experienced practitioner is well-versed in the nuances of branding, including the appropriate application of heat and the management of potential risks. Their expertise extends to recognizing signs of complications early and taking necessary actions to mitigate them.

Aftercare is a critical component of the branding process. Proper aftercare procedures help facilitate healing and reduce the risk of complications. Immediately following the branding, the area should be cooled to alleviate initial discomfort. Applying an antiseptic ointment can prevent infections and promote healing. It is advisable to keep the branded area clean and dry, changing dressings regularly to avoid contamination. Monitoring the site for any signs of infection, such as increased redness, swelling, or discharge, is crucial. Should any of these symptoms arise, seeking medical attention promptly is recommended.

In conclusion, the safety of BDSM branding hinges on meticulous preparation, the use of sterile equipment, skilled execution by an experienced practitioner, and diligent aftercare. By adhering to these guidelines, practitioners and participants can significantly reduce the risks associated with this practice, ensuring a safer and more satisfying experience.

How to Perform BDSM Branding

BDSM branding is a practice that requires meticulous preparation and an understanding of the various techniques involved. Two primary methods are commonly employed: hot iron branding and freeze branding. Each method comes with its own set of advantages and challenges, making it crucial to carefully choose the one that best suits your needs and comfort levels.

Hot Iron Branding: This traditional method involves heating a metal implement to a high temperature and pressing it onto the skin to create a permanent mark. The intense heat causes a burn that heals into a scar. The primary advantage of hot iron branding is the immediate visual result. However, it carries a higher risk of infection and requires more extensive aftercare. The pain level is also significantly higher, making it essential to ensure the individual undergoing the process is fully prepared and consents to the experience.

Freeze Branding: Unlike hot iron branding, freeze branding uses a supercooled metal implement, often chilled in liquid nitrogen, to damage the pigment-producing cells in the skin. This method tends to be less painful and has a lower risk of infection. The resulting mark is usually white or colorless, and its visibility can vary depending on skin tone. While freeze branding is generally considered safer, it requires a longer healing period and may not produce as pronounced a mark as hot iron branding.

When selecting a design for BDSM branding, it is important to choose a symbol or pattern that holds personal significance. The design should be simple and clear, as intricate details can become distorted during the healing process. Before proceeding, thoroughly clean and disinfect the area to be branded. Both the person performing the branding and the recipient should be aware of the steps involved and agree on a safe word or signal to ensure continuous communication.

Executing the branding process requires precision and patience. For hot iron branding, heat the implement until it is red-hot and press it firmly but briefly onto the skin. In freeze branding, ensure the implement is adequately chilled and apply it to the skin with consistent pressure. After branding, immediate aftercare is crucial. Clean the area with antiseptic and apply a sterile dressing. Monitoring the healing process and keeping the wound clean will help prevent infection and ensure the best possible outcome.

Throughout the procedure, maintaining open communication and obtaining explicit consent are paramount. BDSM branding is a permanent and highly personal form of body modification, and all parties involved should fully understand the risks and responsibilities associated with it.

Resource Article : MissBonnie 2024

Understanding Pet Play within Femdom: How It Works, Creating a Scene, and Emotional Aspects

Table of Contents

What is Pet Play within Femdom?

Pet play is a distinctive form of role-playing within the BDSM community where participants embody the characteristics of animals. In a femdom context, this often involves one partner assuming the role of an animal, referred to as the ‘pet,’ while the other partner takes on the role of the caretaker or owner, commonly known as the ‘Domme.’ This type of role-play can manifest in various forms, including puppy play, kitten play, and pony play, each with its own unique set of behaviors and dynamics.

Puppy play typically involves the ‘pet’ adopting canine behaviors, such as barking, playing fetch, and following commands, while the Domme provides guidance, training, and care. Kitten play, on the other hand, sees the ‘pet’ embodying feline traits like purring, nuzzling, and playful antics, often seeking the Domme’s affection and attention. Pony play is characterized by the ‘pet’ taking on equine mannerisms, such as trotting, wearing tack, and even participating in training exercises or simulated competitions under the Domme’s supervision.

The appeal of pet play within a femdom dynamic is multifaceted. For many, it serves as a form of escapism, allowing individuals to temporarily shed their human identities and immerse themselves in the simplicity and freedom of animalistic behavior. This can be particularly liberating and provide a respite from the complexities of daily life.

Moreover, pet play offers a unique avenue for exploring power dynamics. The roles inherently involve a clear hierarchy, with the Domme exercising control and the pet submitting, which can be deeply fulfilling for those who derive satisfaction from such exchanges. This power play can also lead to a profound sense of trust and intimacy between partners, as the ‘pet’ relies on the Domme for care and guidance, and the Domme, in turn, nurtures and protects the pet.

In essence, pet play within femdom is not merely about mimicry of animal behavior; it is a sophisticated interplay of power, trust, and emotional connection, providing a rich and rewarding experience for those who engage in it.

How Does Pet Play Work?

Pet play, a unique and multifaceted aspect of Femdom, involves one partner embodying the role of a pet, such as a dog or cat, while the Domme assumes the role of the pet owner or trainer. The mechanics of pet play encompass various elements, including the use of specialized gear and the adoption of specific behaviors by the ‘pet.’ Essential items like collars, leashes, tails, and pet-specific attire help enhance the authenticity of the experience, allowing participants to fully immerse themselves in their roles.

The ‘pet’ in pet play is expected to perform behaviors that align with their chosen animal persona. This might include barking, crawling, playing fetch, or even performing tricks. The Domme, on the other hand, takes on the responsibility of guiding and controlling the ‘pet,’ using commands and rewards to encourage desired behaviors. This dynamic can include the use of non-verbal cues, body language, and vocal instructions to maintain the role-play’s continuity.

Setting boundaries is a crucial aspect of pet play. The Domme must ensure that all activities are consensual and that both parties feel comfortable and safe. Clear communication before the session is essential to establish limits and discuss any potential triggers or concerns. During the session, ongoing communication, either verbal or through established cues, helps to ensure that both partners remain within their comfort zones. Following the session, a debriefing conversation allows for reflection and feedback, helping both parties to improve future experiences.

Safety is paramount in pet play. The Domme must remain vigilant and attentive to the ‘pet’s’ physical and emotional well-being. This includes monitoring for any signs of distress, fatigue, or discomfort. Regular check-ins can help to mitigate any issues that may arise, ensuring that the play remains a positive and enjoyable experience for both parties.

In summary, the success of pet play within Femdom relies heavily on mutual respect, clear communication, and adherence to established boundaries. By prioritizing consent and safety, participants can engage in a fulfilling and consensual experience that strengthens their dynamic and enhances their connection.

How to Create a Pet Play Scene

Creating a successful pet play scene necessitates thorough preparation and a deep understanding of both partners’ desires and boundaries. The journey begins with an open dialogue where negotiation and consent are paramount. Both the Dominant (Domme) and the submissive (pet) should clearly express their interests, limits, and any hard or soft boundaries. This conversation ensures that both participants are on the same page and fosters a trustful environment, which is crucial for a fulfilling experience.

Selecting the right gear is the next step in setting up a pet play scene. The choice of equipment can significantly enhance the immersion and enjoyment of the scene. Common items include collars, leashes, tails, ears, and even cages, each catering to different aspects of the role-play. Beginners may start with basic accessories, gradually incorporating more elaborate items as they become more comfortable. Advanced practitioners might explore custom-made gear to tailor the experience to their specific preferences.

Setting the mood and environment is equally important. The ambiance should reflect the desired dynamic and fantasy. This could involve transforming a room with props and decorations reminiscent of a pet’s habitat, such as adding soft blankets, pet bowls, or even using sound effects like purring or barking. Lighting and music can also be adjusted to create a specific atmosphere, whether it’s playful, nurturing, or strict.

Planning activities is another crucial element. Activities should be enjoyable for both the pet and the Domme, fostering a sense of engagement and fulfillment. This could include obedience training, pet tricks, grooming sessions, or simply spending time together in a manner that reinforces the pet’s role. It’s important to strike a balance between structure and spontaneity to keep the scene dynamic and enjoyable.

Aftercare is an essential component to ensure both participants feel valued and secure post-scene. This might involve cuddling, verbal reassurance, or attending to any physical needs, such as water or a snack. Aftercare helps in transitioning back to everyday roles, reinforcing the bond and trust between partners. For advanced practitioners, aftercare might also include a debriefing session to discuss what worked well and what could be improved for future scenes.

The Emotional Aspects of Pet Play

Pet play within Femdom dynamics often elicits a wide array of emotions and psychological responses from both participants. For the submissive, or “pet,” emotions such as devotion, loyalty, and a profound sense of belonging are commonly experienced. The act of assuming an animal’s role can simplify complex human emotions, allowing the pet to express affection and submission in a more primal, unguarded way. This can create a safe space for the pet to explore their submissive nature, leading to a deeper understanding of themselves and their desires.

For the Domme, pet play can foster feelings of control, protection, and nurturing. The dynamic often enhances the Domme’s sense of authority and responsibility, as they guide and care for their pet. This nurturing aspect can strengthen the emotional bond between the Domme and the pet, building a foundation of trust and mutual respect that transcends the boundaries of the scene.

One of the significant benefits of pet play is its potential to deepen emotional connections. The immersive nature of the experience can lead to heightened levels of intimacy and trust, allowing both parties to connect on a more profound level. Additionally, pet play can serve as a form of therapeutic relief, offering an escape from the stresses of daily life. Participants often find that engaging in pet play helps them manage anxiety and stress, providing a sanctuary where they can fully express themselves without fear of judgment.

Another critical aspect of pet play is the exploration of identity and self-expression. By embodying an animal persona, individuals can explore facets of their personality that may not find expression in their everyday lives. This exploration can be both liberating and enlightening, contributing to personal growth and self-awareness.

Aftercare and emotional check-ins are crucial components of pet play. Following a session, both the Domme and the pet should engage in aftercare to process the experience and address any emotional or physical needs. Emotional check-ins help maintain a healthy relationship dynamic, ensuring that both parties feel supported and understood. This practice reinforces the trust and emotional connection that is vital for a fulfilling and sustainable Femdom relationship.

Resource Article : MissBonnie 2024

I’m often asked about punishment by new Domina‘s.

domme walking around

How do I punish?

What should I do? What do you punish?

What do I let slide and forgive?

I can only answer these question for myself and comment on how I deal with punishment issues. How you choose to deal with infractions is up to yourself, and your own individual flare and style. Dominas all have different needs and different requirements from submissives…what I require from my submissives may be different to your needs.

Punishment is an inevitable element of relationships between a Mistress and a sub. To speak shortly, punishment is designed for behaviour correction. But all involved in BDSM/Femdom know that punishment is a gift and the Domme’s benefaction as it helps to get free from feeling of guilt and it is a sign of the Top’s care for her sub. This article is not meant as ‘how too guide’ but more for a creative spark to plan your own course of punishment actions. The main issue with punishments that I can’t stress highly enough is consistency! If you threaten to punish him/her follow it through! Your submissive is seeking your guidance and control. Not punishing an act you find unacceptable is sending out a message you have no control.

Perhaps there is no need to mention that necessity of punishment must be realized by the slave and no penalty can take place without the sub’s agreement. Femdom relationships always imply love goodwill, and safe sane and consensual actions. So punishment must be necessarily discussed in advance. To effectively punish. Punishment requires some suggestions which can be followed any time a Domme finds it necessary to give her sub a lesson.

Three Main Punishment suggestions

  • 1. Punishment in any detail must be different from other types of Femdom action. Otherwise the submissive is going to get used to it and take punishment as something habitual – what lesson is he going to be given than? For instance you can have special BDSM toys used only for punishment and nothing else. Use them only when punishing your sub. In this case these BDSM toys are going to be associated only with actions intended to punish him/her.
  • 2. It is the Domme who defines severity of punishment as well as its other details. The Domme chooses the time her Sub is going to be punished, What BDSM toys she is going to use, tortures the sub must undergo etc. All these things must not be discussed; otherwise this is going to be anything but punishment and in fact might be something the submissive seeks out and desires!
  • 3. One offence – one punishment. This is the main principle which if not followed makes punishment useless. The sub must always be aware what s/he is being punished for.

Now let us speak about punishment itself. Actually punishment for my submissives consists of five suggested steps. They may or may not fit your chosen form of Femdom practices.

Step one. Explanation

This step implies explanation of what was done wrong and what your slave should have done instead. Make sure the submissive realizes his/her guilt otherwise everything that comes next is going to be of no use. Submissives left struggling with reasons for punishment often feel confused and disorientated with other activities. Left questioning they often question every action they undertake on your behalf. A submissive is not a mind reader ‘communication’ is a must if you ever wish to alter his/her behaviour.

Step two. Sub who begs for punishment.

Punishment might always involve this step and it might never imply it – everything depends on the Top. The bottom does not have the right to choose whether s/he should beg to punish him/her or not – this is not a matter for him/her to decide. A submissive asking to be punished is topping from the bottom and learning that s/he can alter the outcome of plans. Make a mental note that s/he is asking for punishment and try to evaluate why s/he is asking. Does s/he need more attention? Is s/he trying to manipulate you into action? Why is this occurring? This more often the question that needs addressing. Is there an underlying problem?

Step three. Getting ready for punishment and realization of guilt.

The fourth action is perhaps the longest one and it takes place without the Domme’s interference. I have found this step has helped my submissive/s greatly in rectifying his/her errors so they never reoccur. This might imply being on knees in very uncomfortable position in darkness. As well it might imply use of some BDSM toys, such as restraints. This step is very effective as being alone the bottom feels lonely and denied. Alone (or time out) allows for reflection time on the ‘error‘ the time out allows the submissive time from distractions to evaluate what has occurred. Time out also allows for the submissive to get in the right head space and let go off the vanilla world.

Step four. Punishment.

The fourth step is punishment itself. Here no recommendations can be given. Everything that takes place during this stage of punishment depends on the Domme and HER own personal tastes, likes and desires. This can be not only inflicting pain on the bottom as many might think. Verbal communication is as well very important.

The Mistress can order her sub to repeat a part of guilt explanation in order to find out that the slave understood and realized his/her guilt. Realization of guilt can be expressed in some other way, for instance by saying “Thank you, Mistress!” or “forgive me Mistress! “After each blow or by continuous licking the Mistress’ feet during the punishment.

Verbal communication between the top and the bottom implies that the Domme should let her sub know whether the latter can cry or not. As well she should make it clear what is going to happen if the bottom cries in spite of this prohibition.

The top can let the bottom know how long punishment is going to last, what toys she is going to use, using this method the Domme must be consistent in her set plan of action and never falter. My advise to the newer less confident Domme or Domina in a new relationship would to NOT do this if she can at all help it, setting punishments length or duration often means the submissive may have to take more than s/he needs or less than s/he needs at the time of punishment. By not informing the submissive of the full extent of the punishments details it allows you room to adjust without appearing to of ‘softened’ on the punishment or appearing to lost control of the situation. So again everything depends on the Domme’s will to remain consistent to her original punishment goal.

Step Five Forgiveness.

Punishment has ended. The top might order the bottom to thank her for punishment. She can let her slave know what punishment he is going to undergo for committing the same crime again. And of course the top must let this slave know whether the latter is forgiven or not. In the end I should say that the first punishment must be very severe. Than punishments might become rarer and less cruel. Full-fledged D/s relationships imply that after some time punishment must become a very rare event or there should be no punishments at all as the most terrible thing for a bottom is being deprived of his Mistress’ love.

What ever methods you choose make sure you are comfortable in there delivery. You are trying to give your submissive ’rules’ to suit your desires, using a method you dislike will only add to you not enjoying the process and delaying its deliverance.

Enjoy the process, it shouldn’t be a chore and shouldn’t be out of anger. Punishment should be administered because you know your submissive and yourself will ‘both’ benefit from it effects and outcome.

If you are angry step away and re gather your thoughts and personal control. Acting in anger can cause misjudgement in your actions. Actions need to be clear, concise, too the point, relaying your intended purpose for correction. Often punishments dealt in anger can lead to injury or relationship problems.

Once you have administered your chosen punishment after care may be required.

Article MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com 2008

beginner’s guide for men on how to use a vibrator.

On our studyBDSM training entertainment program “A taste of Cyber” it’s surprising the amount of subbies who have no idea I they could use a vibrator on themselves for play. They either thought vibrators only worked on women, or they weren’t for “guys like them.”
Once most of these men gave vibrators a chance, they quickly became converts. Vibrators aren’t made for a certain kind of person, vibes are for anyone interested in discovering new ways to feel sexual pleasure.

several vibrators


Men in particular are offered a narrow set of sexual options, and vibrators can help expand those options and discover pleasure and orgasms you didn’t even know were in you. If you’re curious, here are some tips for men on how to use a vibrator

Time Required:

For Your First Time, a Half Hour or More of alone quiet time in a warm room.

Here’s How:
Explode the myth.

Most male submissives think vibrators are sex toys for women, or Dominants only. Since you may have never thought vibrators could be for you, you may need to give yourself some time to get comfortable with the idea of trying a vibrator. The good news is that once you do, you’ll be greatly rewarded. Remember that sex toys aren’t made for certain kinds of people, they’re made to stimulate nerve endings. you have those  Anyone and everyone could be the “kind of person” who uses vibrators, and using one doesn’t say anything about you other than the fact that you like yourself enough to want to feel good.

Get to know your vibrator. Take your vibrator out of the package and get to know how it works and what kind of batteries it takes. Play with the buttons and switches and find out how many speeds and settings it has. Wash your vibrator well before using it. If it isn’t waterproof be careful not to get any water near the battery case.

Check for sharp edges or seams (these can be easily filed down and made safe). Make sure the body of the vibrator isn’t coming apart from the battery pack and that all wires are solid and secure. If there are any flaws return your vibrator before you use it.

Start on your own.

Even if you’re planning on using your vibrator with a partner, it’s a good idea to check it our by yourself first. If you are owned make sure you request permission first, the last thing we want is you in trouble with your Domme. Are you alone? You’ll feel less self-conscious and/or you can really concentrate on how it feels for you without being distracted (for better or worse) by a partner. Make sure you have a little time and enough privacy. If you’ve got roommates, children, thin walls, or nosy neighbors, you can always turn on some music and make use of blankets and comforters to mute the sound (you may also want to think about getting a quieter vibrator).

Dull a loud BUZZZZZZ : Some battery-powered vibrators come with a foam, rubber, or cardboard insert that fits in the battery compartment to keep the batteries in place and prevent them from rattling. If the insert was cardboard, you may have accidentally discarded it while unpacking the vibrator or changing the batteries. If necessary, you may be able to improvise a new one by cutting a piece of thin scrap cardboard to fit inside the compartment..

Play with the lights on.

Not everyone will be comfortable with this one, and vision may not be a sense you rely on, but playing with a vibrator with the lights on can be very educational and useful. You can discover specific places on your body that are rich with nerve endings and ripe for stimulation. This is the kind of information you can use on yourself in the future and share with a lover or your Dominant partner. You can achieve the same effect with touch, knowing exactly where the vibrator is, but seeing what’s going on can be a benefit for some.

Getting hot to trot.

It’s a generalization, but we are going to say it any way, men probably don’t touch all parts of their body as often as women do. You may be 100% familiar with your genitals, but how well do you know your calves or thighs? When was the last time you noticed how it feels to be touched behind your knees? Before you turn the vibrator on, get used to how it feels on your body. Press it firmly against your skin and massage your muscles with it. How does it feel to use a different amount of pressure on your nipples. This isn’t meant to give you an orgasm, but it’s a slow way of introducing your body to the vibrator. Vibes are for more than just genitals, the whole body can benefit.

Turn on and tuning in.

Once you turn it on, start by touching the vibrator to your feet and your hands. Run it up and down your arms and legs, across your belly, your shoulders and neck, your scalp and face. Even though vibrators are used mostly around the penis, scrotum, ass and nipples, don’t just jump to the main even. What’s your hurry! take your time, the more time spend building to orgasm the bigger the ‘O’ . Get a feel for the vibration all over your body and then slowly move to the more sensitive parts. You can slowly move the vibrator up your inner thigh, gently run it over the perineum, or in circles around your nipples. Imagine its your lover of your dreams, where would she use it? where would you like to be touched?

Don’t rush: Explore every inch.

The great thing about vibrators is that they never get tired, and they let you explore every inch of your body for sexual pleasure. You men are so penis-focused that it’s no wonder most men think that their penis is not only the best sexual part of their body, but the only area capable of giving you an orgasm.

In fact there are many parts of a man’s body that are capable of experiencing intense sexual pleasure. :MissBitch.

Using a vibrator is a great way to find them. Think of yourself as an explorer, and the vibrator is both your compass and your flashlight. Play with the speed of the vibrator.
Because men tend to use a lot of friction when they masturbate, stronger vibrators are often needed, particular around the genitals. But when exploring other parts of your body, always start on a low setting and work your way up. Particularly with anal vibrators, even a slight change in the speed of the vibrator can be felt, and playing with the speed settings can be highly pleasurable.

Play with pressure.

Experiment with applying different pressure with the vibrator. It might not feel good to press very hard around the scrotum, but if you put your vibrator on the perineum and apply deep pressure you are stimulating the prostate externally. Some men find that with a strong enough vibrator and enough pressure, using a vibrator on the head of the penis will give them an orgasm without ever moving the vibrator.
Experiment with everything from a feather light touch to a self-love smack down – find what works for you.

External vs. internal vibration.


Hard plastic and electric vibrators are the best for external stimulation as they are stronger and more comfortable to use externally. You can use these vibrators for external anal stimulation as well. If you want to explore anal penetration with a vibrator it’s recommended that you either get an anal attachment for your electric vibrator or buy a separate vibrator that is safe for anal use. You may find vibrators made of silicone or other softer materials are more comfortable for anal penetration. Always use a water based lubricant for any penetration play. Remember phthalates and are best used with a condom for personal safety.

Shame

Anal play is nothing to be ashamed of, although many, many people are. We started it in our earliest childhood. In fact it is generally acknowledged as the first sexually related exploration every baby does and even some fetuses do it prior to birth. Let’s face it, the odor of plain shit – but called “musk” – is used in almost every perfume and even more so in male cosmetics because it is generally known as sexually appealing. For you animal lovers out there: the scent is derived from the musk plant, not the deer. Any biologist will explain that in all mammals, the genitals and the anus were deliberately placed close together, simply because the smell of the one points the way to the other. So, if you like it, or feel attracted to it, there is absolutely nothing wrong with it.
Plus, the anus is an erogenous zone by itself, whether you like it or not. Stimulating it will cause sexual arousal Kinsey – the sexologist best know for his extensive research of the sexual behavior of both men and women – said it as follows:

“The contractions of the buttocks reflect, more than any one factor, the development of the tensions involved in erotic arousal.”: Kinsley

The buttock muscles are among the strongest in the human body and they come into play during almost any form of sexual intercourse and even masturbation – especially for women. Some women even masturbate just by contracting and relaxing muscles and these include the “back door”. In the event you thought anal sexual attraction is just for a few, Kinsey – in his extensive research – found that fifty (!) percent of both men and women had had some experience with anal stimulation or anal intercourse. More recent research in the USA shows that some ten percent of the heterosexual couples regularly have anal intercourse.
The anal and vaginal region and the penis share the same nerve roots and this is the physiological explanation for the sexual attraction of the anus. And – coming back to erotic power exchange – anal play and intercourse to many has strong connotations with terms of dominance and submission.

External anal stimulation.

The anus (the part on the outside that you can see and touch) is rich with nerve endings and usually responds extremely well to vibe stimulation. As mentioned above, start slowly and work from the inside out. See what the vibrator feels like on your lower back, your back side, and your inner thighs. Move slowly and gently to the anus and start by applying just a little pressure. You can roll the edge of the vibrator around the area and experiment with pressure and speed as you go. Once they get over the newness of the feeling many submissive men find this highly pleasurable.

Anal penetration with a vibrator.

Anal play requires patience, arousal, and a lot of lubricant.

Remember our Anal Mantra: Relaxation, lubrication, stimulation

male anal anatomy


Start slow and get yourself fully aroused by using the vibrator externally first. Don’t force an anal toy inside your body. Instead, with the vibrator on, just leave the tip at the opening of the anus and let the toy slide in gently when your body is ready. Once inside you can move the vibrator around and also play with the speed of the vibrator. Tilting the vibrator toward your belly button will stimulate the prostate. You may have to add more lubricant depending on how long your play lasts.

What if I get a vibrator stuck in my anus?

People get vibrators stuck in their butts. It happens. To avoid it, never insert anything in your rear that doesn’t have a flange or wide flared base, or something at the end to keep it from going all the way up inside you.


If you do get a vibrator stuck in your rear, turn it off (if you can reach the controls). If the vibrator has an external battery pack, remove the batteries. Take deep breaths and try to relax your sphincter and abdominal muscles. Apply as much lube as possible to your rectum without pushing the vibrator further in. Bear down as you would during a bowel movement. If you can, stretch your rectum by inserting two or three fingers and spreading them. If the vibrator has wires attached from a battery or control pack, be careful when pulling on them, as they may detach. If you’re lucky, you may be able to get the tail end of the vibrator to clear your sphincter and ease it out of your rear. If this doesn’t work, don’t persist for too long, especially if you’re in pain. Swallow your pride and get yourself to an emergency room. Yes, it’s embarrassing, but it’s not the first time it’s happened, and it’s not the strangest thing anybody’s put up their butt by a long stretch. The ER doctors will probably use a speculum to dilate your butt, and then extract the vibrator manually. In extreme cases, abdominal surgery may be required.

So, we say again, only use vibrators anally if they are designed to be used anally. Please. Your neighborhood ER techs will thank you.

Using your vibrator with a partner.

You can use your vibrator with your partner in any number of ways. You can control the vibe and use it on yourself. You and your partner can use it on each other. vibe even have uses when doing cunnilingus on her. There are vibrators that fit over the penis for use during partner penetration play. You can also find a vibrator that fits well between you and your partner that neither of you need to control, but can add stimulation during sex. However you want to do it, it’s a good idea for each of you to follow the above steps first, and get fully comfortable on your own before making it a threesome.

Concerns: for use with partner Some couples have concerns about adding a vibrator to their sex lives. You may be afraid she will start to like it “more than me” and she may be concerned it will be impersonal and cold. These fears are normal, but unfounded. Talk about any such worries, and keep open communication about them as you explore.


A couple may be afraid that the vibrator will become the focus of most of their sex, and mean less intercourse. In reality a vibrator often means more sex. Most women find orgasm takes a certain amount of time and energy, even when they feel sexual desire. If a woman doesn’t feel she has the time and energy necessary to have an orgasm, she may shy away from sex, or choose to have sex “just for him.” Because a vibrator can make orgasm faster and easier (but not necessarily better) a woman may choose to have sex, or to have sex for both of them, when she would have said no before having a vibrator. The vibrator can be a back up – the woman is able to have sex because she knows her husband can use the vibrator if need be. Sometimes once she gets going she has no need or interest in the vibrator – but knowing it was there made it easier for her.

If vibrators were addictive, they could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways.


Finally, some folks are afraid that the woman will become “addicted” to the vibrator, and unable to orgasm without it. Despite years of warnings about this, it has not come to pass. Some couples have used a vibrator to give the wife her first ever orgasm, and then have used what they learned from that to give her orgasms in other ways. If it were addictive, it could not be the starting place for learning to orgasm in other ways. We have talked to couples who have used a vibrator for a decade or more, and several of the woman feel they are now more orgasmic without the vibrator than before they started to use it.

Using a vibrator on her:

If you are laying side by side with her (which will be emotionally preferable for some women, at least at first) place it between her labia, over or near the clitoris, with your hand cupped over the vibrator. Start with the speed low so as not to over stimulate her. You can gradually turn the speed up as she approaches orgasm – but be aware that turning it up too fast or too high may be a problem for her. Some women will want full speed well before orgasm, others may never want more than half speed. You can push your hand, and the vibrator, slightly into her and hold, or push and release repeatedly. You can also move your hand very slightly up and down (parallel to her labia), or left and right, or in a small circle.

See what she reacts to. Be aware of her body movements, especially any thrusting or other movement of the pelvis. If she has a rhythm going, figure out how to work with it. The movements will likely intensify and speed up as she approaches orgasm, so stay very aware of her body.


You have to figure out what to do as and after she climaxes. Cut back stimulation too soon and you will rob her of the full potential of her orgasm. A small percentage of women get hypersensitive the way most men do – if she is one of these you will need to back off before or as she finishes. Back off by turning the speed down, then off, rather than breaking contact with her body. Be sure to lie still and hold her after she climaxes.


If she can have and wants multiple orgasms, you will need to learn how to make the transition from one to the next. Most likely she will want a reduction of stimulation as she finished each orgasm. If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn – let her guide you by telling you what she needs.

If she has never had multiples, but wants to try, a vibrator is a great way to learn.
You can also sit or lie between her legs to pleasure her. This gives you two hands to work with, better access … and a nice view. Some lubricant is good here, either hers or from a tube. Apply the lube to her clitoris and the surrounding area. Hold the vibrator between thumb and forefinger, or with thumb and two fingers like a fat pencil, so you can use the tip on her. Your other hand can be used to better expose her vulva, or later to add some penetration. The clitoris is very sensitive, so don’t start there – start with the outer edge of the outer labia and work in slowly. Again, you want to start with a low speed and increase as she becomes more aroused.

Each woman varies – some will be able to take or will want direct stimulation of the clitoris, others will not. MissBitch

The aroused vulva is like a full motion water bed, any vibrations applied to any part will be felt through out. Experiment with her outer labia, her inner labia, and the clitoris. Try up and down strokes and circles of varying size. Try moving down with a firm stroke and up with a light stroke, then try the reverse. If she is too sensitive to take direct stimulation of the clitoris you can do this to one side. Try an upside down “U” – up one side, over the top, and down the other side – then reverse. When she is well aroused, try adding some penetration. Most women have stronger orgasms if the PC muscles have something to “grab,” and for some women the difference is significant. Start with one finger, try two or three is she seems to enjoy it. You can try thrusting, but don’t get carried away, your fingers are a lot harder, and have less give, than your penis, and you can easily leave her sore. You can also put in one or two fingers palm up (or insert palm down and then turn your hand over) so that your finger tips are on her G-spot. A “come hither” motion will then stimulate the G-spot. If you do this before she is well aroused it will just cause her to feel a need to urinate – if you get her good and aroused and then start gradually you should be able to avoid this. Some women will go wild for this, some will not even feel it, and most will get a slight boost in enjoyment and orgasm out of it. Again, watch for her rhythm and work with it. Be aware of how she responds during climax, and reduce stimulation as needed. When she is done lay beside her and hug … or make love to her.

Tips:

Prostate massagers

Some vibrators are better suited for prostate than others. Some prefer the use of massager’s for Prostrate Milking. Vibrators that aren’t too big, and have a gentle curve tend to work well. Some men like the feeling of pressure alone on the prostate and will use a vibrator but keep it turned off. Others enjoy the feeling of vibration and pressure. Remember to use MissBonnie and MissBitch’s mantra lots of lubricant and only toys that are safe for anal penetration.

Be patient.

Many men are used to sex play that involves a lot of quick rubbing and stimulation. Vibrators give you the chance to try something completely different. We talked about slowing down, there is no rush. Even if you find the vibe doesn’t drive you to the heights of orgasm immediately, give it chance. all good things take time. Find a place on your body where the vibration feels good and leave the vibrator there for a minute or two. Apply pressure and let the vibrations go deeper into your body. You may be pleasantly surprised by the results.

Take your batteries out.

A good tip is Get in the habit of taking your batteries out of the vibrator each time your finished using it. If you leave the batteries in the vibe may turn on to a very low speed (or you may leave it on low without knowing it) and this can both burn out the motor and make for some embarrassing moments.

take it from an experienced user, vibes have the annoying habit of switching one when you least expect it. MissBonnie

Also, if you leave your vibrator alone for extended periods with the batteries in, they can corrode and leak into the battery case destroying your vibrator.

Anal vibrator safety.

Don’t share sex toys unless you use a condom every time. If you’re playing with a female partner never let a sex toy that has been in the rectum go in the vagina. Always use water based lubricant when using a vibrator for anal penetration. You can put some lube on the shaft of the vibrator and with your fingers put some lube on the outside and just inside the anus. Replenish the lubricant on the vibrator throughout the sex play.

How long will the batteries last in my vibrator?

Depending on the vibrator device and what kind of batteries you’re using, you could get anywhere from 50 hours of use to just 10 hours. Smaller devices with smaller motors drain less current. Larger vibrators or ones with multiple moving parts will drain batteries more quickly. If you have a high-drain vibrator that you use frequently, it might be worthwhile to invest in some rechargeable batteries.

They don’t hold a charge as long as disposable batteries, but you also won’t have to spend five bucks every time they’re used up. MissBonnie

You can extend the life of your vibrator’s batteries by removing them from the toy when it is not in use and storing them separately.

How long can a vibrator be used before throwing it away?

A vibrator’s durability depends on its quality, type, and what it’s made of. A vibrator’s lifespan can be anywhere from a few months to several years. In general, don’t keep an inexpensive plastic or rubber vibrator for more than 3 years. More expensive electrical vibrators can be used until they quit working.
If a vibrator is in good running condition and the material is durable, there’s no reason to discard it until it stops working. However, inexpensive vibrators have a limited lifespan due to the quality of the case and the components. In cheap vibrators, the wiring frays, the motors jam; in some cases the outside is actually the most durable part of the device. More than likely, your vibrator will give up the ghost before it becomes a hazard to anyone.
Nevertheless, at a certain point, you may want to retire your mechanical buddy either for safety or aesthetic reasons. Inexpensive vibrators, if they last that long, should not be used for more than a few years. Longer than that, and the casing material is going to be getting gummy and worn out if it’s made of rubber, jelly, or Cyberskin. Plastic vibrators can get brittle, and, especially if they have been knocked around a bit, they’re subject to cracking.


Higher-end electrical vibrators, like the Hitachi Magic Wand, can last several years depending on how much you use them. The only reason to discard an electrical vibrator is if the motor develops problems, i.e., if it starts overheating, sounding funny, or smelling odd. If you use rubber or silicone attachments with your electrical vibrator, you may want to replace them after a few years if you use them frequently or if they show signs of age.

How should I store my vibrators?

Keep it in a secure, dry location where it will not be moved around a lot. Under the bed in a shoe box is usually a safe bet. Take the batteries out when you store it.
You want to keep your toys clean and safe, so don’t just chuck your vibrator under the bed with the dust bunnies, where the dog might find it and mistake it for a chewy toy. Keep them in a closed container. A shoe box is fine. Wrap them in a clean t-shirt or pillow case. Put the box in a spot where it won’t be moved around a lot, under the bed, in a nightstand drawer or closet.
It’s always a good idea to take the batteries out of your vibrator when storing it for two reasons: it prolongs the life of the batteries, and it eliminates the risk that the vibrator may get accidentally switched on.

My vibrator isn’t giving me an orgasm any more. What’s wrong?

There could be a couple of reasons for this. The vibrator or the batteries in it may be wearing out, so it is less effective. Alternately, you may be getting “desensitized” to the sensation of that particular vibrator. Some people find they need to switch to a different vibrator at a certain point. Also, other psychological or physiological factors may be affecting your sexual responsiveness.


If you’re not responding to your vibrator anymore, first make sure that the vibrator is working correctly. Are the vibrations still as strong? If not, the motor may be wearing out, or the batteries may be wearing out. Test it out with some fresh batteries and see if that doesn’t put the buzz back in it. It may be time for a replacement.
If there’s nothing wrong with the vibrator, your sexual responsiveness may have changed. Some people report “vibrator burnout,” feeling like they become “immune” to their vibrators. Your body may simply become used to the sensations that your vibrator supplies, and they are no longer as stimulating, or you may just be bored with your vibrator. Try shopping for a new model, and find something that really excites you or provides a totally different form of stimulation. If you’ve been using a Hitachi Magic Wand, try getting a vibrating dildo or vice versa.

Try experimenting.

Some vibrator users also report a temporary decrease in sensitivity in their genitals after prolonged vibrator use. You may need to take a vacation from your vibrator and go back to manual stimulation for a while. After taking a break and coming back to it, your vibrator may seem fresh again.


Finally, there may be physical or psychological factors that are affecting your sexual response. Some medications, especially antidepressants, have sexual side effects that make it difficult to reach orgasm. Stress, depression, fatigue, and overworking can also make it hard to get turned on or to climax. If this is a persistent problem, talk to your doctor.


Resource Article : MissBonnie and MissBitch for The Beginner’s Guide to Vibrators © CollarNcuffs.com

Many, many thank yous to Cle-Andria for her help with images, allowing us to destroy her shop shelves in the name of kink, and her wealth of information.

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Prostrate Milking

Reposted from ReginaMirus blog cira 2008
Per special request, for Mistress Cruella. I promised I’d do this, now I’m delivering! 
I don’t profess to be the guru of p-spot stimulation, but I’d like to think that I’ve been pretty successful with it, so here’s what it is that I do.

Key elements of a successful prostate massage:

1.He absolutely MUST BE relaxed. If he’s wired, anxious about anything (like performance), or he’s just fearful it’s gonna hurt, then it’s just not going to work.

2.If he’s completely brand new to anal, it’s usually a good idea to let him work on getting the anus open with a smallish butt plug and plenty of lube, on his own time. That way, he can feel the trajectory, know what it feels like when it slides in, etc. And working on his own, at his own pace, he’ll have the confidence when the time comes that he can endure that little bit of pain it takes to open him up (if there is any, at all). Better yet, have him practice wearing it, and have it in when you’re ready to start.

3.I’d also highly recommend before any anal play to administer an enema, or have him do one himself and evacuate prior to the session. There’s nothing worse then sticking a finger or two in there and coming back with a “door prize” . For this, I like to use a “dry” enema, by inserting about 4 tbsp of lube in the anus, wait about 20 min or until the urge hits him, then let him evacuate. All clean, no fuss, no muss, and no nasty surprises .

The best position for him for p-spot massage I think is on all fours, ass up, shoulders down. I may also give him a pillow or two to tuck in under his tummy, so he feels a little more comfortable.

I like to talk to him throughout the entire process, but especially while I’m first poking and prodding around down there. I usually tell him what I’m going to do, and then start introducing my finger in the area. Lube at this point is an absolute MUST, and the more lube, the better. I read somewhere that with all anal play, just when you get to the point that you think you’re using too much lube, that’s the point where you ALMOST have enough .

Gently slide past the outer ring, and feel for the inner ring, which is the sensitive part that usually makes them uncomfortable. If he gets to that point, let him know you’re backing out, slowly back out, then try again, or just stop moving until he gathers his bearings and feels ok again (and he will). Once you are past the inner ring, you’re going to feel downwards for a small little organ about the diameter of a walnut. If you have him on all fours, it’s going to be directly past the inner ring and straight down. It’s sits directly on the other side of the anal cavity, but you can definitely feel the edges of this delightful little organ through the anal wall.

And this is the funny part. Once you start applying pressure, he’s going to feel the overwhelming urge to pee. And it happens every time, like clockwork. That’s because you’re applying direct pressure on the prostate, which presses into the bladder. I let them make the attempt to pee, but it’s usually pretty fruitless .

At this point, it’s best to take your time and literally feel out your man and that amazing little internal button of his. Some guys like a circular motion all around the perimeter, some like pressure more on one side than the other, some like firm pressure right in the middle. It usually takes a little more time (I’ve found it usually takes about 10 min or so), but eventually he’s going to get AMAZINGLY turn on, and that wonderful clear fluid will start to drip, then eventually start running like a faucet. The key here is his reaction. Find that magical little spot that drives him wild and work the living fuck out of it. Keep checking his cock, comment on his “flow” from time to time (and how much of a mess he’s making of himself!). The important key here is take your time. You can manipulate him to cum at this point without touching his penis, or you can jerk him off with the other hand to give him a fairly overwhelming orgasm with ejaculation. Or play a delightful little game of tease and denial by edging and tormenting him for as long as you desire. Either way, I can assure you that a good time will definitely be had by all .


MissBonnie Comment:
Quote:
I don’t profess to be the guru of p-spot stimulation
I don’t know, this reads pretty ‘spot’ on to me Thanks again for sharing.

for the dry enema for any one wanting to try it …I use a medical syringe (no needle of course ) less messy I can draw it straight from the bottle of lube. I use about two tablespoons which is 10 cc’s on the syringe measure so Regina’s way would be 20 cc’s (so you may need to load the syringe twice as most go to 10cc). ‘The ‘movement’ will be produced in a compact body, rather than in the more copious liquid form produced by a wet enema; and since no water is used, none will be retained higher up in the colon, to be expelled at a later, and possibly inconvenient, time I’m with Regina “door prize” not good.

Orginal Article ReginaMirus further addition MissBonnie txt and img CollarNcuffs.com©

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Orgasm Denial

thumb pointing downdown

Table of Contents

Erotic sexual denial

This is sometimes practiced in association with BDSM, and can be thought of as a more extreme version of orgasm control, which ends in climax. The subject may either be allowed an orgasm at the end (in which case, the orgasm is generally much stronger than normal) or denied one. An alternative form of erotic sexual denial is the total denial of all genital stimulation. To ensure a total denial of stimulation a couple may use a chastity device that physically prevents touch and/or full erection.

Short-term denial practices Tease and denial

Tease and denial describes a situation where a person’s genitals are stimulated until he/she is close to the point at which orgasm would normally be inevitable. At that point, direct stimulation of the genitals is reduced or stopped, so as to keep the recipient on the very brink or “edge” of orgasm (as with orgasm control) but without the promise of orgasm at the end. If orgasm still occurs after removal of stimulation, it typically brings less pleasure than usual, and is considered a “ruined orgasm,” as opposed to being a “denied orgasm,” (sometimes known as “blue balls”). Alternatively (for men), the release of semen during the emission phase of ejaculation might be prevented by some sort of constriction (“blocked orgasm”). Depending on the relationship, subjects might be repeatedly teased to the point of orgasm several times, but without actual orgasm, causing feelings of intense arousal and psychological need.

Tie and tease

To be able to control an orgasm of a partner in such sex games, physical restraints are commonly used. Situation involving bondage are typically called tie and tease and can be thought of as extended tease and denial games. This practice is often an integral part of erotic denial. It is notable that in discussions between BDSM partners, negotiation usually focuses on the activities which may or may not be agreed to, rather than the emotions generated by said activities (unless at an unacceptable level). Tie and tease activities are physically as well as psychologically intense, because the strong feelings of sexual frustration are escalated by the sensation of helplessness induced by bondage.

Non-orgasmic ejaculation

As an alternative technique, it is said to be possible for a man to be trained to ejaculate, but to do so without achieving orgasm. This technique requires practice and discipline on the man’s part. One key to the technique is to remove all stimulation of the penis at the exact moment when an orgasm would otherwise be achieved; the result is a full expulsion of semen but without the concomitant relief. According to websites on the subject, this technique enables a man to be kept in a state of denial indefinitely, yet maintains prostate health more thoroughly than the alternative technique of prostate milking.

Total denial

The practice of total sexual denial is where a person is prevented from enjoying any sexually stimulation by way of touch to the genitals. This may involve the person being made to wear a device such as a chastity belt. Chastity belts or similar locking devices are available for both men and women. The person may or may not be brought to arousal through other means, depending on the situation.

Long term denial

Frequency of masturbation is determined by many factors, e.g., one’s resistance to sexual tension, hormone levels influencing sexual arousal, sexual habits, peer influences, health and one’s attitude to masturbation formed by culture. Medical causes have also been associated with masturbation.

Different studies have found that masturbation is frequent in humans. Alfred Kinsey’s studies have shown that 92% of men and 62% of women have masturbated during their lifespan. Similar results have been found in British national probability survey. It was found that 95% of men and 71% of women masturbated at some point in their lives. 73% of men and 37% of women reported masturbating in the four weeks before their interview, while 53% of men and 18% of women reported masturbating in previous seven days

It is widely believed that abstaining from orgasm via masturbation or sexual activities will induce a sleeping orgasm. However the frequency of one’s nocturnal emissions has not been conclusively linked to frequency of masturbation. Widely-known sex researcher Alfred Kinsey found “There may be some correlation between the frequencies of masturbation and the frequencies of nocturnal dreams. In general the males who have the highest frequencies of nocturnal emissions may have somewhat lower rates of masturbation. Some of these males credit the frequent emissions to the fact that they do not masturbate; but it is just as likely that the reverse relationship is true, namely, that they do not masturbate because they have frequent emissions.”For women the correlation is also short of conclusive; “According to Kinsey’s findings, women who suddenly lost the opportunity for several coital orgasms per week had only a few more orgasms in their sleep per year.”

Subjects can be kept in denial indefinitely (periods around 2 to 4 weeks each time are often quoted as being safe subject to proper skincare and regular checking). Many, however, suggest that this is very subjective, and often informally suggest a shorter period such as 3 days or a week between release instead — especially when starting.

Beyond that, the long term consequences for denial are unclear, although there are negative effects implied by a recent Australian study which found that frequent masturbation may help prevent prostate cancer in men.

Most sources seem to agree that the body will spontaneously reabsorb sperm, but that the prostate fluids should be removed fully and regularly, if not through orgasm then via internal prostatic massage (known as “prostatic milking”) to reduce the risk of prostate cancer and inflammation, muscular atrophy, (orgasm involves the prostate muscles) or tissue damage to the prostate. It is also said that if erection is inhibited for long periods the skin of the penis becomes less elastic which may cause pain or other difficulty in the future.

Normally, during sexual arousal, ejaculatory fluid accumulates in the male accessory sex glands – the seminal vesicles, the prostate, and the bulbourethral glands (or Cowper’s gland) – backing up behind valves in the ejaculatory ducts. When fluid pressure reaches a high enough threshold, the valves open and the urethral bulb fills, triggering the ejaculatory reflex and muscular contractions of orgasm, which empties the glands.

Without orgasm, prostate milking may be used to help flush out the buildup of toxins which accumulate within the prostate gland. This can be done by allowing ejaculation without orgasm. As most men need penile stimulation to reach the latter, this milking can be done without risk of orgasm.

Ruined orgasm

A ruined orgasm is a technique usually used by a woman (the stimulator) who is dominating a man (the stimulated) during the sexual practice of orgasm denial. The object of orgasm denial is to deny the male an orgasm over a long period of time or to allow him to orgasm but make it unsatisfactory, awkward or even painful to experience therefore asserting the dominant position of the female in the sexual relationship.

This technique allows the physical release of sexual climax while denying or minimizing the satisfaction and pleasure associated with orgasm. With men, the man is stimulated to the moment that ejaculation is inevitable. Stimulation is then stopped by breaking all physical contact with the genitals the moment orgasm begins (i.e. past the “edge”). Alternatively, the stimulator may bring up decidedly non-erotic or nonsexual topics during the orgasm, inflicting non-erotic pain, or stimulating the submissive with an unpleasant smell.

Another technique is to interfere with the ejaculation by some sort of constriction. Ruined orgasms expanded to include such methods as Thumbing, Palming, Dictating, Thwacking and several more unpleasant ways for an ejaculation to be disrupted or “ruined”. Many of these methods are merely disruptive physical actions that come after psychological or emotional trickery has taken place on the part of the dominant female. Deception can play a key role in the effectiveness of a ruined orgasm. When performed on a man, this practice allows the release of seminal fluid and physical sexual release, but keeps the man in a state of arousal because the orgasm is never psychologically “actualized”. Because stimulation is not continued through the orgasm, that man is left still in a state of want, which allows continued stimulation after a very brief period, unlike after the actualized or completed orgasm which may require a considerably longer refractory period.

Erotic denial as a form of control

Erotic sexual denial, in various forms, is sometimes associated with creating a state of sexual need leading to a more pliable or agreeable outlook by the denied party.

Orgasm denial practices can allow dominant males and females to exercise control and training over a highly intimate and psychologically significant part of their partners’ lives. This can extend to tolerance of increased stimulation, and training both to hold back orgasm, or to orgasm on command. This technique gives the dominant partner enjoyable feelings of control and power.

Orgasm denial as a means of control is widely practiced activity within erotic feminization. The dominant will often deny the sissy (the submissive male) sexual release in order to maintain a heightened state or sexual arousal, or as a means to further emasculate and humiliate the submissive.

Resource Article : MissBonnie

Genitorture

CBT: Cock and ball torture (CBT) or some times called genitorture

Ideas Hints and Tips

Cock and ball torture (CBT) or some times called genitorture is a sexual activity involving torture of the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball busting, genital flogging, genital bondage, urethral play, electrical play, tickle torture, or even kicking. It may equally consist of the use of cock harnesses, testicle cuffs, parachutes, prolonged stimulation (teasing), metal cages, cock rings, English cages, not necessarily leading to orgasm. Erotic electrostimulation may be used in CBT. The use of ball bags, ball stretchers, various kinds of chastity devices and the humbler can also be regarded as forms of CBT.

A ball lock may be used for prolonged entrapment, providing an interesting predicament associated with not knowing when padlock will be unfastened, releasing the testicles.

The recipient of said activity receives emotional pleasure via pleasing another. There is also a high level of excitement associated with another focusing so much careful attention on that particularly intimate part of one’s anatomy. There may also be social associations regarding controlling said part of the body.

The one enacting the activity benefits by enjoying providing such pleasure to the recipient and having that control. Masochists derive pleasure strictly from the level of pain that torture of their genitals provides them. Sadists also derive pleasure not from the recipient’s enjoyment of the practice but rather from the pain they cause the recipient to experience.

Genitorture 20 way to torture a penis

I’m always asked by new emerging Dominas on ways to play with CBT or ideas that I’d willing to share I adore CBT and so does MissBitch. I thought putting our evil dominant heads together we might be able to come up with a few basics. All of these should be able to be done with no damage to the penis or testicles.

These are some of the techniques that we use

A Penis Puppet

penis puppet

One of my personal favorite forms of cock and ball bondage is what we call a “Penis Puppet”. To do this, you will need about a 3 ft length of cotton rope or string.

1. Wrap the rope around both his cock and his balls, tying it once in a simple overhand knot beneath his balls, keeping an equal length of rope on both sides.

2. Bring the rope back up around his balls, typing it on top of the testicles.

3. Wrap the rope up around the base of his cock, tying it on the upper side, then around his cock again, tying it on the underside.

4. You essentially repeat step # 3, wrapping it and tying it, back and forth around his cock, moving a bit higher each time until the last knot is just under the head of his cock.

You should have some rope left over and can use it to tug his cock back and forth and make it “dance”. Or, you can take the end of the lacing an tie it to the chain between nipple clamps or whatever else might be handy to attach it to.

One further idea on this one would be to tie a length of rope around the slave’s waist and then pull the rope from the puppet up between his legs, between his buttocks, and then tying it off to the rope at his waist.

Clothes pins, clothes pins, clothes pins:

clipped penis

You would be amazed at how many of these little buggers you can get on a penis and a set of testis. One thing to note is that the less skin you capture within the clothespins, the more painful it is going to be. Larger amounts of skin in the clamps will be, in turn, less painful. Also, clothespins hurt much worse coming off than they do going on, and the longer you leave them on, the more severe the pain will be when you take them off. The first few times you ‘pin’ a particular slave, you may want to limit the time he wears them to 10 minutes to start, then adjust your time from there. If you man happens to be uncut, you can also amuse yourself by pulling the foreskin up over the head of his cock and then clothes pinning it together. 🙂

Make a ball separator with rope:

ball separator with cord
  • 1. Take a length of soft cotton rope and, grasping one of his balls, wrap the rope several times around it the skin, forcing the actual testicle downward.
  • 2. Repeat step #1 on the remaining testicle.
  • 3. Wrap the rope around both testicles, at the very top of the sac and tie it off.
  • 4. Apply spearmint or peppermint oil to the penis or scrotum. Cinnamon oil can also be used, but be aware that it tends to be pretty hot. Ben gay and Icy Hot are another alternative, but they can also be rather severe, so try diluting them with a bit of lotion before you apply it to the skin.

Rattan rascals:

Take three narrow, flexible rods. Short, rattan canes work particularly well. Center one of the rods just under the scrotum, the second above them, and the third on top of and at the very base of the penis. Secure the ends of all three rods together with rubber bands.

Wax:

Hot wax can also be a fun way to play. Be sure when you buy your candles that they are made of plain, cheap, paraffin wax. Avoid beeswax at all costs! (Beeswax heats to temperatures in excess of 300 degrees and can cause some pretty severe burns!) You can control the heat of the wax by the distance you hold the candle away from the flesh. Scents and colors can also add to the heat of the melted wax, so be sure to test the temperature on yourself before applying scented or colored wax to your slave. If you are feeling really brave, you can also buy bulk paraffin wax (available at most grocery stores). Melt the wax in a crock pot, or by placing chunks of it in a glass jar and then placing it in a painful of water on the stove and heat it slowly. MAKE SURE THE WAX HAS COOLED BEFORE APPLYING IT. Test it on your own skin. One idea to do with melted bulk wax is to ‘paint’ the wax on his cock, using a soft, clean paintbrush.

Ice Escapades:

Ice can be just as effective as hot wax. Rub it all over his cock and balls. Place an ice pack on it for several minutes.

Still need more ideas

Try a combination of #6 and #7. First applying heat, then cold, and then heat again, and so on.

A Penis Press :

What you will need:

  • A drill
  • Two pieces of clear lexan glass (bullet proof glass, similar to plexi glass, but much less likely to splinter.) about 1/4“ thick and cut to 12” x 8“.
  • Two pairs of thumb cuffs.
  • Four bolts.

ok now lets put it together:

  • a. Drill a hole, midway down the “short side” of each side of one of the pieces of Lexan. Attach a thumb cuff through each of these two holes.
  • b. Align the Lexan sheets and drill a hole into all four corners, as you see in the picture diagram. Insert bolts through these holes

. Part 2. Putting it to use:

  • Attach his thumbs to the thumb cuffs, so that he is supporting the Lexan. Place his (preferably flaccid) penis between the two sheets of glass and tighten down the bolts.Not only does it make an interesting sight (the Lexan glass is clear, and you would be amazed at how much you can flatten a man’s penis!!!) but it also makes a handy tray on which to place your drink, an ashtray, or whatever toys you are going to use to torture his balls.

Making do:

When I (MissBitch) first moved to Melbourne , I didn’t have room in my apartment for any big toys such as a St. Andrews cross so, here is what I did to provide a similar effect with an added bonus for cbt that a standard cross does not have: In a large walk in closet, I had four eyebolts attached to one of the walls.. two up high and two down low, to attach wrists and ankles to. In addition, there was a 5th eyebolt, centered, on the floor, between the two lower eyebolts.

The idea is to bind the submissive, spread eagle, on the wall, then, for instance, use the ball separating method shown above (#3) and slip an additional rope around the bondage and then tie it to the eyebolt on the floor. A parachute also worked nicely for this, just run a length of rope through the O ring on the parachute and then down through the eyebolt in the floor. The effect is similar to adding weights or “ball stretching”. 

Stocking bind:

Bind your slave’s balls with rope or maybe a stocking… either wrap it several times, or pull on the rope so that his testicles are forced down to the bottom of the sac and are taut, then take a wooden spoon and begin lightly tap-tap-tapping on them. You don’t have to tap very hard, either. Soon the tapping will move beyond being just a slight annoyance to gradually become rather painful.

Rub a dub scrub:

Scrub it with a toothbrush, or other brushed brush. Test on the inner side of your wrist first after all you do want him to some skin left and some bristles can be nasty.

Titanic:

Insert a cube of ice into the end of a condom, then put the condom on his cock.

Fancy fingers:

Scrape the surface of his cock with your fingernails. The erect penis is far more sensitive than a flacid one, so this, like many forms of cbt, are best done when the cock is erect. The head of the cock is a particularly sensitive area for this sort of play. Squeeze his balls firmly and twist the sac in your hand.

Slap and Tickle:

Slap the sides of his “naughty little cock” back and forth with your hand. NOTE: You should avoid slapping or whipping the underside of his cock to avoid any potential damage to the urethra.

Winter wonder:

For some winter fun, you can make a funnel out of some stiff cardboard around his cock and balls. Wrap a rubber band around the base, or tape it together, then fill the funnel with snow!

Water weights:

Fill a couple of 20 oz soda bottles with water. Wrap his balls tightly with rope (or just use a parachute), then tie the bottles to the rope. You can also half fill a couple of balloons, tie them together and use these for weights as well.

Bite his cock. 🙂

Hard or soft, also try after hot or cold drinks for added sensations.

Shoe shine:

With his cock erect, take a silk scarf or stocking and wrap it around his cock and “shine” it, kind of like shining a shoe, pulling the scarf quickly back and forth. This produces, from what I understand, a very intense sensation!

Have fun and let your imagination run wild!

Resource Article : MissBonnie and MissBitch 2006-2009 © imgs: MissBonnie & MissBitch

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