The Essential Femdom BDSM Checklist: A Guide for Beginners
Understanding Femdom BDSM
Femdom BDSM, or female dominance and bondage, offers a unique expression of power dynamics in relationships. It’s important for participants, whether they’re newbies or seasoned practitioners, to have a clear understanding of their roles. This guide provides an essential checklist to ensure a safe and enjoyable experience.
The Femdom BDSM Checklist: Key Elements
Before diving into the world of Femdom BDSM, consider the following elements to enhance your experience. Firstly, establish clear communication. Discuss boundaries, safe words, and expectations with your partner. This ensures both parties are on the same page, fostering trust and safety.
Secondly, focus on consent. Enthusiastic consent is the cornerstone of all BDSM activities. Both the Dominant and submissive must fully agree to the activities they will engage in. Without it, the experience can quickly turn from pleasurable to distressing.
Safety Measures in Femdom BDSM
Finally, make safety a priority. Invest in appropriate gear and ensure you have a safe word in place. Remember, the goal is to create a fun, consensual environment where both partners can explore their fantasies. The Femdom BDSM checklist can assist in navigating these dynamics, as long as preparation and open communication are part of the equation.
By following this checklist, participants can enjoy a more fulfilling and secure Femdom BDSM experience. Explore and enjoy your desires—safely and consensually!
Please Note. Update 2024: we have many more free printable checklists contained within our 100% Free to use Femdom Community
This questionnaire should be filled out by a Sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick “head-start” to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play. For each item, you need to provide two answers:
- First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.
- Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
- Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.
- NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).
- 0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don’t like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a “soft limit”).
- 1 means you don’t want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn’t object if it was asked of you.
- 2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.
- 3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.
- 4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.
- 5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.
Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.
Note any additional information which might be important for your Domme to know.
There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient of the activity.
| Partner Check List | ||
|---|---|---|
| Activities | Experience, Willingness | |
| yes/no, | NO or 0-5 | |
| Abrasion | ||
| Age play | ||
| Anal sex | ||
| Anal plugs (small) | ||
| Anal plugs (large) | ||
| Anal plug (public, under clothes) | ||
| Animal roles | ||
| Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders) | ||
| Asphyxiation | ||
| Auctioned for charity | ||
| Bathroom use control | ||
| Beastiality | ||
| Beating (soft) | ||
| Beating (hard) | ||
| Blindfolds | ||
| Being serviced (sexual) | ||
| Being bitten | ||
| Breast/chest bondage | ||
| Breath control | ||
| Branding | ||
| Boot worship | ||
| Bondage (light) | ||
| Bondage (heavy) | ||
| Bondage (multi-day) | ||
| Bondage (public, under clothing) | ||
| Breast whipping | ||
| Brown showers (scat) | ||
| Cages (locked inside of) | ||
| Caning | ||
| Catheterization | ||
| Cells/Closets (locked inside of) | ||
| Chastity belts | ||
| Chaueffering | ||
| Choking | ||
| Clothespins | ||
| Cock worship | ||
| Collars (worn in private) | ||
| Collars (worn in public) | ||
| Competitions (with other Subs) | ||
| Corsets (wearing) | ||
| Cuffs (leather) | ||
| Cuffs (metal) | ||
| Cutting | ||
| Dilation | ||
| Double penetration | ||
| Electricity | ||
| Enemas | ||
| Enforced chastity | ||
| Examinations (physical) | ||
| Exercise (forced/required) | ||
| Exhibitionism (friends) | ||
| Exhibitionism (strangers) | ||
| Eye contact restrictions | ||
| Face slapping | ||
| Fantasy abandonment | ||
| Fantasy rape | ||
| Fantasy gang-rape | ||
| Fisting (anal) | ||
| Fisting (vaginal) | ||
| Following orders | ||
| Foot worship | ||
| Forced dressing | ||
| Forced homosexuality | ||
| Forced masturbation | ||
| Forced nudity (private) | ||
| Forced nudity (around others) | ||
| Forced servitude | ||
| Full head hoods | ||
| Gags (cloth) | ||
| Gags (rubber) | ||
| Gags (tape) | ||
| Gates of Hell (male) | ||
| Genital sex | ||
| Given away to another Dom (temp) | ||
| Given away to another Dom (perm) | ||
| Golden showers | ||
| Hairbrush spankings | ||
| Hair pulling | ||
| Hand jobs (giving) | ||
| Hand jobs (receiving) | ||
| Harems (serving w/other subs) | ||
| Harnessing (leather) | ||
| Harnessing (rope) | ||
| Having food chosen for you | ||
| Having clothing chosen for you | ||
| Head (giving fellatio) | ||
| Head (receiving fellatio) | ||
| High heel worship | ||
| Homage with toungue (non-sexual) | ||
| Hot oils (on genitals) | ||
| Hot waxing | ||
| Housework (doing) | ||
| Human puppy dog | ||
| Humiliation (private) | ||
| Humiliation (public) | ||
| Hypnotism | ||
| Ice cubes | ||
| Infantalism | ||
| Initiation rites | ||
| Injections | ||
| Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage | ||
| Interrogations | ||
| Kidnapping | ||
| Kneeling | ||
| Leather clothing | ||
| Leather restraints | ||
| Lectures for misbehavior | ||
| Licking (non-sexual) | ||
| Manacles & Irons | ||
| Manacures (giving) | ||
| Massage (giving) | ||
| Massage (receiving) | ||
| Medical scenes | ||
| Modeling for erotic photos | ||
| Mouth bits | ||
| Mummification | ||
| Nipple clamps | ||
| Nipple weights | ||
| Oral/anal play (rimming) | ||
| Over-the-knee spanking | ||
| Orgasm denial | ||
| Orgasm control | ||
| Outdoor scenes | ||
| Outdoor sex | ||
| Phone sex (serving Dom) | ||
| Phone sex (serving Dom’s friends) | ||
| Prison scenes | ||
| Pony slave | ||
| Public exposure | ||
| Pussy/cock whipping | ||
| Pussy worship | ||
| Riding crops | ||
| Riding the “horse” (crotch tort.) | ||
| Rituals | ||
| Religious scenes | ||
| Restrictive rules on behavior | ||
| Rubber/latex clothing | ||
| Rope body harness | ||
| Saran wrapping | ||
| Scratching – getting | ||
| Scratching – giving | ||
| Sensory deprivation | ||
| Serving | ||
| Serving as art | ||
| Serving as ashtray | ||
| Serving as furniture | ||
| Serving as a maid | ||
| Serving as toilet | ||
| Serving as waitress/waiter | ||
| Serving orally (sexual) | ||
| Serving other doms (supervised) | ||
| Piercing (temporary, play-pierce) | ||
| Piercing (permanant) | ||
| Serving other doms (unsupervised) | ||
| Sexual deprivation (short term) | ||
| Sexual deprivation (long term) | ||
| Shaving (body hair) | ||
| Shaving (head hair) | ||
| Sleep deprivation | ||
| Sleepsacks | ||
| Slutty clothing (private) | ||
| Slutty clothing (public) | ||
| Spanking | ||
| Spandex clothing | ||
| Speech restrictions (when, what) | ||
| Speculums (Anal) | ||
| Speculums (vaginal) | ||
| Spreader bars | ||
| Standing in corner | ||
| Stocks | ||
| Straight jackets | ||
| Strap-on-dildos (sucking on) | ||
| Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by) | ||
| Strap-on-dildos (wearing) | ||
| Strapping (full body beating) | ||
| Suspension (upright) | ||
| Suspension (inverted) | ||
| Suspension (horizontal) | ||
| Supplying new partners for Dom | ||
| Swallowing semen | ||
| Swallowing urine | ||
| Swapping (with one other couple) | ||
| Swinging (multiple couples) | ||
| Tattooing | ||
| Teasing | ||
| Tickling | ||
| Triple penetration | ||
| Uniforms | ||
| Including others | ||
| Vaginal dildo | ||
| Verbal humiliation | ||
| Vibrator on genitals | ||
| Voyeurism (watching others) | ||
| Voyeurism (your Dom w/others) | ||
| Video (watching others) | ||
| Video (recordings of you) | ||
| Water torture | ||
| Wearing symbolic jewelery | ||
| Whipping | ||
| Wooden paddles | ||
| Wrestling | ||
Article MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com
Further reading:
D/s Contracts – What are D/s contracts? and how do D/s contracts work?
Contract Sample 1 – An example of a simple D/s contract.
Contract Sample 2 – A more complicated example of a M/s contract
Contract Sample 3 – An example of a temporary BDSM poly contract.
BDSM Rights – Know your rights with a Femdom relationship
Safewords – Do you know your safe word with your Mistress/submissive?
SSC v’s RACK – Safe, sane and consensual V’s Risk-Aware Consensual Kink
Limits & negotiations – Both Dominants and submissives can express limits. What are your partners?
Abuse and P.E – Abuse and erotic power exchange, know the dangers.
Explicit Implicit – Explicit Consent / Implicit consent Play considerately and consensually.
