For All Your Femdom Needs
How to techniques, guides & advice for BDSM Femdom Bondage and restraint play with rope
For those just starting out in Bondage. This article covers: How it works, what’s the attraction, Rope history, Bondage history and styles through out the world, Safety concerns surrounding rope bondage, where to tie and where not too. Rope materials & selection, such as which type of rope and how long. Introduction basic knots, 4 basic knots that will cover most ties and binds. Simple restraint ties. Putting your four knots to use, ideas to build on. 64 page PDF Download
Author MissBonnie (c)
How to die rope
In this video JD of TKB shows how to dye your rope to get the beautiful colored rope you see them use from time to time.
Now this is not exactly a article on how to do construction for Femdom bondage, but this is more of what you should NOT do…
First off, one of the most common things I see and makes me cringe every time I see it, is when I see people using things for semi or full suspension that they should not be using!
Using threaded Eye Screws / Bolts for semi or full Femdom suspension is very dangerous! For example, screwing up into a beam of wood. Basically all that is keeping your victim up, and alive is a little 1/16“ thread in a piece of wood that was drilled and the wood fibers the are torn and shredded while inserting the screw. That is not a whole lot to keep someone from falling and getting hurt or even killed. Proper precautions are needed when preparing for suspension.
To put this in more technical terms, the average person is lets say 150 pounds. And for bondage, you want to plan for the weight to be 10 times that, because of shock and strain. So for 150 pound person, you want to make sure what holding them up has at least a 1500 (150lb x 10 = 1500lbs ) pounds of support to be safe!
Now an Eye screw in a piece of wood, can not support that amount of weight. And even if it could, over time a treaded screw will eat at the wood, and the wood will give away around the screw. Which most likely happen when under the greatest about of strain, which would be when your suspending someone from it!
The best way to put in anchor points for bondage, would be to put a thread eye screw threw the whole beam and on the top, place a washer or plate, and weight rated bolt. Welding the bolt to the screw would be even better. Now doing it this way the wooden beam would support the weight being held by the eye bolt, instead of just the threads on the eye bolt itself.
Also you can get brackets that fit around beams, that can be locked and screwed to make a safe support. Or use chain that tested at 800-2200 pounds with appropriate clamps with them.
Anytime your doing any kind of construction work, you should consult a carpenter and/or engineer, to make sure what your doing will be safe and hold 10 times amount of weight you supporting!
The reason for this, is a 200 pound body and easy put up to 400% stress on the rope and and hardware. Which could easily snap rope or pull out a eye screw or hardware that not rated properly.
And most important of all, remember that you have to recycle your sub! so you can use them over, and over and over!
Panic Snaps
What are Panic Snaps? Panic snaps are used in the control of live stock. A sliding collar keeps the locking mechanism closed until it is slid towards the rope end; these snaps are extremely easy to open regardless of the pull or wgt. on them. Made from malleable iron for high strength and zinc plated for corrosion resistance.
Most panic snaps are not rated for tensile weight, because there not designed to support weight. Most un-rated fasteners wont hold more the 150 pounds of weight! Most Rated climbing equipment is rated for 2200 pounds, That’s a big difference!
Now as above, this is more of something you should NOT do then anything else. I have heard people promote using panic snaps in use of suspension work. Now with general restraint bondage this is ok, and is a common taught practice. But for the use of full body immobilization bondage, this is a VERY bad idea!!! Using Panic Snaps in suspensions, or any kind of bondage where the person can no protect themselves if they fall with there hands. If a person is immobile, and a panic snap is used, this is basically going to let a person who can not protect themselves fall to the ground, and get seriously hurt, even possible deadly.
Also it is possible from panic snaps it be accidentally opened, if you hit them the wrong way, and rope accidentally gets wrapped around them and pulled! So never use Panic Snaps with immobilizing bondage. Always remember to carry a part of rope/sharp/EMT shares with you at all times, in case you need to get someone out in a emergency!
Article by MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com Images: MissBonnie
Related Article:
suspension – What is it? Do I need special equipment, can I just put up a hook?
Suspension bondage is a form of sexual bondage often used in Femdom where a bound submissive or slave is hung from one or more overhead suspension points. Suspension bondage is considered to carry a higher risk than other forms of sexual bondage. In the words of one noted practitioner:
The risks of rope suspension rank up there with heavy breath play. Neck rope suspensions can turn into heavy breath play scenes if not careful – Midori, 2005
Pic1 Stimulation
This bondage demonstration during Folsom Street Fair 2005 is a shibari style partial suspension. In partial suspension the person is bound in way that part of their body weight is held by suspension ropes, cables or chains. The classic partial suspension position is to have the person balancing on one foot with part of their weight supported through a chest harness and the other leg pulled up in some direction. A person lying on their upper back with legs tied upwards to a suspension point to pull their lower back off the ground would also qualify as partial suspension.
Pic2 Horizontal suspension, face up
Pic3 Horizontal suspension, face down
In full suspension the person is completely supported by suspension ropes, cables or chains, and they have no contact with the ground. The position of the person’s body in a full suspension is only limited by their endurance and the skill of the binder. The main effect of suspension bondage is to create a heightened sense of vulnerability and inescapability, as the subject is made to feel that by attempting to free themselves they may fall and hurt themselves, thus also creating a form of mental bondage in addition to the physical one that holds them. Being suspended, especially in a large open space, also creates a sense of objectification, submissiveness and erotic helplessness for the subject, which can be erotically stimulating for them and for those observing them. Rope suspension is sometimes done as performance art at BDSM conventions and fetish-themed nightclubs. Three main positions
The three main positions are vertical, horizontal and inverted.
Vertical suspension
This primarily involves the person being lifted from the ground by their wrists. This is usually achieved by use of rope or by special suspension cuffs. When using rope, extreme damage can be caused to the soft tissues of the wrists, as well as reducing circulation, so being suspended by ropes can only normally be achieved for a very short period of time. Often in fiction and movies a person may be pictured hanging from metal cuffs or handcuffs. This is possible, although extremely painful and will leave deep marks in the wrists. The safest and “most comfortable” method of suspension by the wrists is to use suspension cuffs as they are specifically designed to spread the weight around the wrist as much as possible. An alternative method of vertical suspension is to use a bondage rope harness. With the ropes tied around the body and in particular around the upper arms close to the shoulders as well as around the upper leg and through the groin, it is possible to suspend a person with ropes attached to these areas similar to the way a parachute is attached to a person. In this position the arms and legs may be left to hang free, as the person would have great difficulty getting free without assistance.
Horizontal suspension
This position has the subject bound in a horizontal position, sometimes face up but usually face down. The body is lifted into this position either by attaching bondage equipment to the ends of the limbs, or by securing bondage equipment to various areas of the body, or a mixture of both. When just by the limbs, ropes or suspension cuffs are attached to the wrists and ankles, with the subject weight born by these areas, the limbs may be brought together forming a hogtie position, or kept apart. When the body itself is used to suspend the person, they may first be tied into a conventional bondage position first such as a hogtie or ball tie, then by attaching ropes or chains to certain ropes under areas of the body able to take weight the person is lifted into the air.
Inverted suspension
Being suspended upside down can be a very hard position to maintain as a result of the position causing the blood to rush to the head. This means that this position probably can’t be maintained for any length of time and can even lead to the person blacking out. To be suspended in this position, ropes or suspension cuffs are used to lift the person into the air by their ankles. Unlike when a person is suspended by their wrists, rope suspension around the ankles can be maintained for much longer as the ankle region naturally is able to take far more weight and stress than the wrists. This is especially so if boots are used as the ropes can run around the outside surface of the boot thus protecting the skin from damage. The person may be suspended with their legs together, or held apart either by using a suspension spreader bar or by securing the ankles to two separate locations. With the legs held in this position, the subject may have an increased sense of vulnerability as their genital region would be easily accessible. A variation on this position is to tie rope to the wrists and pull the arms up behind the person, securing the rope to either the suspension spreader bar or to a securing point between the two legs, resulting in what is called a suspension bow. In this position, if the subject is a female, her breasts would be pointing almost straight down, depending on the strictness of the position, and nipple clamps and weights can be added for painful stimulation. The clamps may alternatively be secured to a point on the floor, limiting the subject’s ability to struggle or move at all without causing pain.
Risks
The danger most often associated with suspension bondage, over and above the usual risks inherent in bondage, is falling; whether due to a weak suspension point, faulty equipment or poor technique. Inverted positions are especially hazardous in this regard since a head-first fall of only a few inches can kill or paralyze a person. Less obvious dangers include nerve compression and resulting damage, circulation problems and fainting, and the recently-recognized harness hang syndrome [2][3]. Harness hang syndrome appears to relate to suspension with the legs below the heart, as in the case when someone is suspended in a standing position, with no weight on their legs. Extracting a person safely out of suspension bondage can be difficult if they are unconscious, or if a winch or hoist jams. Suspension tops will often work with spotters who can help get the person down in an emergency.
References:
Further Reading:
Suspension rigging – How do i do it? What do I need?
when you restrain yourself with the help of ropes or other devices for a certain period of time. Those who practice self-bondage have a good opportunity to practice restraining techniques and immovability for a long period.
Strict versus sensual
A distinction can be made between strict and sensual self-bondage. In sensual self-bondage, escape from restraints is simple and available immediately, if desired. For example, the keys might be within reach or the knots loosely tied. The chief aim is the sensation of immobility and of constrained movement. Strict self-bondage, by contrast, requires that the means of escape is unavailable for a period of time and the person must remain in bondage until the release mechanism is activated, regardless of whether or not they would voluntarily continue the scene further if they had the choice. Although strict self-bondage is potentially more hazardous, some practice it for the greater feeling of helplessness.
There is an alternative approach sometimes recommended which takes the middle ground, and achieves a compromise between safety and strictness. The method is to use a backup release mechanism that is available immediately, but carries with it some penalty or cost with its use. For example, keys could be placed in a bucket of paint. The person in self-bondage can escape quickly if necessary, such as a fire breaking out, or excessive numbness of limbs. However, the annoyance of cleaning up the paint afterwards would coerce the person into waiting for the main release mechanism to come into effect if they were merely bored or uncomfortable.
Self-bondage is considered a higher risk activity than many other BDSM practices – particularly when combined with autoerotic asphyxia – and has led to many recorded deaths. It is estimated that there are 500 to 1,000 autoerotic fatalities each year in the United States (number correct at time of publishing), of which a substantial proportion include self-bondage as a factor.
Self-bondage has all the risks of physical restraint and sexual bondage, with the added factor that should anything go wrong, there is no-one to effect a rescue. For example, if blood circulation cuts off sensation in limbs, the planned escape mechanism may not be usable. Here is a link to related deaths www.openmindmedia.com/self-bondage/, this is a page that I do urge you to read, accidents can and do happen
Despite this, many practitioners insist that self-bondage can be performed relatively safely if it is conducted with a view to minimising risk. Common safety advice includes measures such as:
One of the biggest issues for self-bondage is safety and learning the methods for release especially when you don’t have anyone to help you. I have sourced a few links This may be of help if you do fully intend to peruse this practice www.likera.com has an informative forum shared with other like mind enthusiasts all sharing ideas, scene plans and most of all safety tips.
http://www.icebondage.net/ This site contains information and safety tips concerning Bondage and Self Bondage. The site is a wiki based database of knowledge, both for safety and techniques of Self Bondage and of normal Bondage. Also included here are sections where members can submit their own stories and experiences
When practicing self bondage a time limit is set for safety and pleasure reasons. The self-bondage session may last from some half an hour, several hours to several days (which is not recommended) that’s why it’s important to evaluate how long do you plan to spend in bondage. The time limit is introduced by many ways, and you can also invent your own way to escape after bondage.
Release method
Caution is very important to make sure this session won’t be the last. First of all the session is usually planned beforehand. The way you are going to free yourself may vary depending on your imagination and safety precautions, but it’s highly advisable to have some tools handy always like a knife and scissors under the pillow. Of course having a partner nearby is of great help in self bondage cause then you can be surer of your safety. Many release mechanisms are used in self-bondage to allow the practitioner to escape the restraints after a period of time. There are various trade-offs to be made between ease of use, reliability, precision of timing, cost, and so forth. There should be several mechanisms available, thus ensuring redundancy and safety.
Ice cubes:
Ice cubes are commonly used in release mechanisms. One method – there are many variants, but the principle is the same – is to place ice in a sock and slide a key ring over it. The sock is then attached to an out-of-reach place. When the ice melts, the keys fall, allowing escape. Advantages include simplicity and reliability (ice is easily obtained, and inevitably melts). The disadvantage is that it can be difficult to gauge precisely how long a scenario will last, although some enjoy the uncertainty.
Ice locks:
Parts of ice locks are frozen together and do move until the ice has melted down. Can be used alone (to lock a person to a stationary object) or in combination with tightening devices (to keep the tension for a certain period of time) Combination lock: Combination locks can be used as release mechanisms. There are two approaches: those that rely on the time needed to try every possibility for an unknown combination, and those that rely on light in order to see to enter the known combination correctly.
Unknown combination:
The idea is that the lock is reset to an unknown combination, and then used to lock the bondage in place. The person must find the correct combination by trial and error. A three digit combination lock contains a thousand possibilities. At a second per attempt, this would take approximately 15 minutes. For a four-digit lock, it is nearer two hours. Disadvantages include the fact that it may be distracting to actively “crack” the lock.
In darkness:
Even if the number is known, for many locks, it is not possible to enter the combination without being able to see the faces of the dials. This release mechanism relies on darkness. The light can be provided either by the morning sunlight, or, preferably, through a light on a timer switch. The advantages include a large amount of control over how long the bondage lasts (with a timer), and a backup of the onset of daylight. The disadvantages are only being able to use the technique at night, and having to perform the bondage in the dark.
Electromagnets:
Electromagnets can be used to release keys after a delay. If combined with electronics or a computer, a large amount of control is possible over the timing, and the mechanism is somewhat “fail-safe” – if power fails, the key will fall early. Disadvantages include complexity and cost. The powerful electromagnets used in door locks can also be adapted for use directly as restraints.
Soldering Irons:
Soldering Irons can be used, in conjunction with a timing mechanism, to cut a nylon rope, or to release keys. The use of a delivery/messenger service or regular mail in order to obtain the object (usually key/keys) needed in order to become released. This relies on the delivery service being 100% efficient. There is also a number of release mechanisms designed to be emergency backups. The idea behind these release mechanisms is that triggering them will cause something undesirable to happen, and thus be only used in situations where death or serious injury could occur otherwise.
Paint tin:
A backup key is stored in a tin of paint, ink or motor oil in such a way that recovering the key will cause the contents of the container to spill, causing costly damage to a carpet or other possessions. This mechanism can be used for extremely quick release in an emergency such as a fire.
Unpleasant drink:
An unpleasant liquid, such as urine, is stored in a container. The key is only released when the contents of the container has been drunk (it should be designed so that the contents can not be spilled. The idea is to make the drink so unpleasant that it will only be considered as a last resort.
Rescue:
A friend or relative is notified to come over at a certain time (that time being after the bondage session is planned to end). The friend may or may not be aware of the bondage, and thus the rescue may be embarrassing. An alternative is to position a phone somewhere that is accessible during the bondage, so that a friend or the emergency services may be called if the planned release mechanisms fail
Safety
Self-bondage is considered to be quite dangerous as if a person stays completely alone there is a greater risk. You should be both very confident and think over every detail especially about release or at least have someone to help you.
Techniques
Apart from release mechanisms, self-bondage poses a somewhat awkward problem of getting into bondage, especially when using rope. What might be a relatively simple matter for couples can be considerably more complex alone? With rope, the main difficulty is tying the hands in a way that is not easy to untie. One common solution is to use a cinch noose – essentially a kind of slip knot – together with a coil (a loop of rope). The wrists are placed through the coil with the cinch noose between the wrists and around the coil. To achieve a basic hogtie position, the cinch noose is tied to the ankles. With pressure, the noose tightens the wrist coil, securing the hands. It proves very difficult to escape from, and usually a knife or scissors is required to cut free. Equipment that can be tightened only, and not loosened, often has application in self-bondage. This includes handcuffs, zip ties and pulleys.
Commercial equipment
While for the most part self-bondage is performed using ordinary and easily available equipment (indeed, it lends itself to impromptu adaptation and a “do it yourself” approach), a few commercial products have appeared – in the United States for the most part – catering for the self-bondage practitioner.
WE do not encourage self bondage here at Collarncuffs.com, and this reference/resource sheet is by NO means meant to by used as a ‘how too guide’ We are also not endorsing the referenced links, practicing of self bondage do so at own personal risk. If you choose to peruse this endeavor please source you own reference material which may be more current in safety aspects, hints and tips USE INFORMATION YOU FIND HERE ENTIRELY AT YOUR OWN RISK
Article by MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com
Related Articles:
self bondage – If you tie yourself up, you’d better be able to untie yourself.
Bondage – I need some starting points for bondage.
Bondage Safety – Playing it safe. what are dangers.
“Doing It Yourself
“Self-bondage” may seem like a contradiction in terms – after all, if you tie yourself up, you’d better be able to un-tie yourself, meaning that you’ll have to stay in control and won’t be able to enjoy the full measure of surrender and vulnerability that bondage with a partner can offer. But there are many reasons to make that tradeoff. Most obviously, there are never enough capable and trustworthy bondage tops or switch-hitters to go around, and their geographical distribution is not exactly even, so you may not be able to find someone to do the honors every time you’re up for a little tie-down. If you’re a novice, you might not be ready to let someone else tie you up or may be too shy to approach anyone. Or you may be an old hand who simply wants it done “your way” sometimes – just as snug as you like it (or as loose), in whatever position feels best, for as long as you decide. In all these cases, and others, self-bondage will come as naturally as “self-abuse.”
Except it doesn’t. While no one needs to be taught how to masturbate – though religiously brainwashed kids may have to be taught that it’s okay – satisfying self-bondage is an exacting art. And while jerking off never hurt anyone, inept or overly ambitious self-bondage can be the most dangerous kind of bondage there is – far more dangerous than a scene with most strangers you might meet in a gay bar. Just as masochists often torture themselves much more severely than they’d allow anyone else to do, bondage bottoms doing solo turns are likely to push their limits much harder than someone else would – because who understands your fantasies of constraint as perfectly as you do? This kind of self-exploration can be immensely valuable in teaching you what you like and don’t like, and how much you can take, but it may also lead you to run quite unreasonable and unnecessary risks.
No matter how sadistic a partner might be, he’ll almost certainly intend to turn you loose at some point, and if he values his own life and liberty, he’ll take some pains to insure that you’re in decent shape when that happens. But with self-bondage you’re on your own; one stupid or careless slip, and you could end up seriously hurt or even dead. Self-bondage is comparable to tying someone else up and leaving the house – the risk of any particular accident, from a fire to a heart attack to an earthquake, may be extremely slight, but when you’re helplessly bound and left alone, there’s little or no margin of safety. If you restrain yourself so that it’ll take a lot of work or time to get free, you’re recreating that same situation.
So does that mean we recommend never indulging in self-bondage, just as we recommend never leaving a helplessly bound partner alone? Not necessarily. Staying within earshot of a lover or bondage buddy you’ve tied up isn’t a lot to ask, but never doing it alone would be a major sacrifice for many bondage lovers. If we say “don’t,” you’ll do it anyway – we’ve done it ourselves. So let’s think about how to do it as safely as possible, minimizing the risks even where they cannot be totally eliminated. And at the very top of the list is this absolute rule: Stay sober. Alcohol and drugs don’t mix well with any kind of bondage or s/m play, but with self-bondage it’s especially essential to stay clear-headed, because in this kind of scene you’re both top and bottom. As top you must be able to plan and decide things without any impairment of judgment, and as bottom you must be able to assess your feelings and reactions clearly and accurately, so you’ll know how far is too far and when is the right time to quit.
Approaches to Self-Bondage
There are two rather different basic approaches to self-bondage, which I call the “strict” and the “sensual.” In strict self-bondage, the main thing is to recreate as closely as possible the experience of being under someone else’s control, literally incapable of escape. Since you have to be able to escape at some point, or the exercise becomes suicidal, devotees of the strict approach use various timing devices to keep the means of their deliverance out of their hands for some predetermined – and, once begun, unalterable – period. Until the preset time has elapsed, they are literally as helpless as if restrained by a capable and watchful partner – even more so, because if the restraint becomes boring or uncomfortable, or even painful, there’s no one to be begged, threatened, or safe worded into providing relief. The particular position or type of restraint is much less important in this kind of scene than the release mechanism – but the need for a timed release mechanism rules out certain types of restraint, such as nearly all rope bondage.
There’s no denying the attraction of strict self-bondage to anyone whose main bondage turn-on is helplessness. Knowing that you can’t get out, no matter what, until the set time has passed is essential to the thrill. Peter Boots, who’s presented bondage workshops for both GMSMA in New York and SM Gays in London, puts it this way: “If you can let yourself out at any time, why bother to do it at all?” But there’s also no denying the riskiness of strict self-bondage. And the more inescapable it is, the riskier. Sensual self-bondage, on the other hand, is for those who primarily crave the sensations of immobility or constraint, independently of how easy it is to escape. To take myself as an example, I enjoy the feel of wearing steel restraints such as handcuffs and leg irons, and at times I’ll put them on and just lie down and fantasize or else do domestic chores (I’m wearing heavy manacles, leg irons, and a steel collar as I type these words). That the keys are in easy reach doesn’t detract from my enjoyment in the slightest. When my partner’s away, I may spend the night sleeping in cuffs and chains I’ve put on myself, leaving the keys handy by the side of the bed. For Peter, who also likes to sleep in bondage, being able to release himself at any time would spoil everything; he isn’t satisfied unless he can’t get out until morning.
Sensual self-bondage may seem risk-free compared with strict self-bondage, and in many cases it is. If you just cuff your hands in front and leave the keys in reach, there isn’t much that can go wrong – unless you make the cuffs so tight that your hands and fingers go numb and you can’t work the keys in the locks when you want out. But if you cuff yourself behind your back, you’d better be limber enough to grasp and manipulate the key backwards and upside down, and adept enough to do it without seeing what you’re doing, or you could get stuck. And if you put on a hood or gag before locking the cuffs (or any other kind of locking hand restraint), the risks start escalating and may approach those of strict self-bondage. If you start choking on a gag while your hands are cuffed behind your back, it may not matter if release is five minutes or five hours away. That suggests another absolute rule: Never combine breath control with self-bondage. Auto-strangulation/asphyxiation is one of the most serious risks of a self-bondage scene. If you gag yourself at all, use one you can pull off even with bound hands or push out with your tongue, or at least that you can easily breathe around if necessary. Consider skipping the gag if the bondage position you plan to put yourself in is strenuous, or if you enjoy rolling or thrashing around and fighting against the restraints; huffing and puffing around a gag is neither fun nor safe. And be very, very careful with anything you put around your neck. If it could tighten under tension, like a noose, it’s unsafe altogether, and even a loose collar can be dangerous if it’s immovably attached to something, like a wall, and you’re not. Just rolling off the bed could be fatal if a collar pulls you up short.
The Basics
First of all, know your equipment and your own capabilities thoroughly. Without combining them into a complete scene, try out your various restraints individually; practice putting them on and taking them off, and then learn to do it in the dark. Study their construction so that if worse comes to worst you’ll know the weak points. Practice holding different positions – spreadeagled, arms above the head, arms behind the back, and so on – as long as you can without restraints; then you’ll know exactly how far you can stretch your limbs, and where and when they’ll start to hurt when you’re fastened in place. You may think you know all this already just from your experiences as a bottom, but it’s not the same. When you’re topping yourself, it’s all too easy to bite off more than you can chew.
Whatever you put onto yourself, whether simple handcuffs or an elaborate hood and sleep sack, it has to be something that you can get out of – not me, not Peter, not your high-school pal who became an escape artist. Remember that what goes on easy may come off hard. It’s easy to snap handcuffs on, but just fitting that little key into the right holes can be an exercise in frustration once your hands are numb or sore from a few hours of restraint – especially if you forgot to put the cuffs on with the keyholes facing down, toward your fingers. If you’re hurried or panicky, it can be impossible, and with cheap, poorly made cuffs you might even break off the key in the lock by exerting too much pressure. Cuffs that are rigidly joined with hinges instead of chain are a very risky choice for self-bondage – they’re designed to be hard to escape from even with the key. If you tend to be somewhat fumble fingered to begin with, stick to restraints that fasten with buckles, snaps, or large padlocks and don’t require handling anything as small as a handcuff key.
Think about everything that could go wrong, and make allowances for it, before you fasten the first restraint “for real.” A vital key can drop somewhere out of reach – put a tether on it tied to something you can always reach, or lay out two keys in different, equally accessible places. A knot could tighten and become stuck – make sure you can reach (and use) a sharp knife, a box cutter, or heavy-duty shears. (Standard EMT safety shears are great for removing bandages and the like, but they won’t cut through strong rope or most leather cuffs and straps.) If your phone has a speed-dial feature, make sure one of the programmed numbers is 911 (or your equivalent emergency number), and if possible keep the phone in reach throughout the scene. “Even in a standing position,” Peter notes, “I can knock the handset off the hook with my foot and press one of the speed-dial buttons with a toe to reach a friend or 911.” He also advises eating and drinking sparingly before starting a solo scene (good advice for almost any bondage or s/m scene).
Probably most guys use rope for their first experiments with self-bondage, because it’s cheap and easy to get and doesn’t provoke a lot of embarrassing questions if someone else comes across it between your sessions. But while it’s certainly possible to tie yourself up with rope and get out again when you want to, it’s also very easy to get stuck. The pages of Bound&Gagged over the years have featured many stories from guys who tied themselves up with rope and almost didn’t get out. Rope is inherently unpredictable because most knots will tighten when you pull on them and because rope tied around a human body can shift as muscles flex and relax. Knots that would have been easy to undo at the start of a session can become hopelessly gnarly after you’ve spent a couple of happy hours straining against your bonds. Slip knots are especially treacherous; the very qualities that make it easy to ensnare yourself with one also make it difficult to escape. A common but very dangerous maneuver, for example, is to tie your feet with one end of a rope, put a slip knot in the other end, and fasten the loop around your hands. Even if you don’t tie your hands and legs together behind your back (I’ve covered the hazards of that kind of “hogtie” position in previous columns), the pull of your feet against the loop around your hands is likely to tighten it enough to cut off circulation and make your hands too numb to undo the knot when you’ve had enough.
Too Loose, Too Tight, and Just Right
A key watchword for self-bondage is, leave yourself some slack. The tighter you’re bound up or stretched out, the harder it will be to free yourself when it’s time. Allow for at least as much twisting and turning to get out of the restraints as you needed to get into them; the more elaborate the setup, the more “wriggle room” you should leave. That’s another reason not to use rope, since if rope ties aren’t snug, they’re not bondage at all, just macramé.
Handcuffs, regular or lockable leather cuffs, chains, and padlocks can all be secure without being tight. If tension on your limbs is a big part of your turn-on, Bandanna Boy (author of several bondage stories in the Bad Boy anthology of gay porn from the Internet, Hot Bauds) recommends using elastic bungee cords: “You can arrange it so that when you are relaxed the cord keeps you under tension, but you can stretch it enough to move a bit when you have to, to escape or reach the key or whatever. And rubber bands attached to tits or piercings can give a similar sensation of a part being constantly under tension without your needing anyone else to do the adjusting.”
The idea of bungee cords suggests a possible safe way to use rope as part of the restraint. If you’re limber enough to construct a rope body harness on yourself, you could use bungee cords to attach various points on the harness to, say, anchors around your bed frame. As long as you can reach where the bungee cords hook into the harness, you can get out. Of course, a similar approach could be used with a leather or chain body harness.
Another simple, relatively safe approach is to use your own body weight to hold a chain or cord taut: For instance, chain your feet or balls to the foot of your bed and scoot up a bit to pull them tight; when you’re ready to release yourself, just slide back down. If you want to make it a bit harder, after your lower extremities are the way you want them, anchor your upper body to the head of the bed with a strap or chain around your chest (make sure the buckle or clip can’t slide out of reach!). Add handcuffs or locking leather wrist cuffs in front, and you can lie there for hours while your fantasies run wild – if you can resist jerking off in the first ten minutes! You could discourage that without a significant increase in risk by fastening your cuffed hands away from your groin, whether to the chest strap or a collar, or behind your head to a chain or eyebolt attached to the bed or wall. Use a snap clip, carabiner, chain link, or, best of all, a panic snap – anything you can release easily without a key. There’s nothing dangerous about locking cuffs around your wrists as long as you can easily remove them; it’s when you immobilize yourself by locking the cuffs to something else, or behind you, that you can get into trouble.
Spreadeagling yourself on a bed is more difficult than an inverted-Y position, but not necessarily riskier as long as you fasten your hands so that you can release them easily even if they’ve gone numb – use clips or snaps rather than padlocks if your hands are to be restrained apart from each other. (Some clips and snaps are harder to manipulate than others, so practice working them one-handed before you actually depend on them.) Even if you leave the padlock key in reach, such as tied to the same eye bolt or chain one hand is locked to, the risk that you won’t be able to use the key successfully when you need to is substantial in this kind of rigorous, stretched-out position.
Self-bondage when you’re lying down or sitting in a chair is inherently safer than when you’re standing up, because a simple faint – which might be brought on by over-excitement or hyperventilation from stress – could be fatal if you’re restrained vertically. If you faint and can’t fall down (and there’s no one around to let you down), blood will pool in your legs and starve your brain, causing irreparable damage or death in a short time. This is not to say that fainting is likely if you’re in good condition and don’t use poppers, but unless being bound upright is one of your major turn-ons, the risk is probably not worth running, at least not for any very extended scene.
Going Further . . .
See Strict Self-Bondage for a look at some specific techniques and precautions for the kind of self-bondage you can’t escape from until a release mechanism has been triggered. Hint: The simpler the safer. Don’t risk your life with complicated devices that could fail when you need them most!
“Strict Self-Bondage” by david stein with Richard Sommers, M.D.
Copyright ©1995 by david stein (gorgik@aol.com); all rights reserved, including the right to reprint in whole or in part in any medium whatsoever. Printouts for the viewer’s personal enjoyment are encouraged, but please contact the author if any other use is desired. This article was originally published in Issue #48 of Bound & Gagged magazine.
If nothing else, self-bondage has the advantage (as an anonymous wit once said of masturbation) that you don’t have to look your best. You needn’t impress or arouse anyone else. You can do it when you want, where you want (up to a point!), whatever way you want, and for as long as you want. But the one thing you must do to achieve safe and satisfying self-bondage is to keep your head! Flying solo isn’t better or worse than flying with a partner, but solo bondage is a lot more demanding of the bottom (who’s also, of course, the top!) in terms of skill, discipline, and the ability to stay cool under pressure.
Last issue I distinguished two different kinds of self-bondage, the “sensual” (where the sensations of immobility or constraint matter more than the idea of inescapably) and the “strict” (where inescapability for a preset time is the main turn-on). All the safety principles I discussed earlier for sensual self-bondage apply just as much to strict self-bondage, so let me repeat a few key points:
• Stay sober. Self-bondage can be fatal! Not often, but it does happen. You need a clear mind and a steady hand to do it safely.
• Never combine breath control with self-bondage, and be especially careful with gags. Getting yourself out of self-imposed bondage will almost certainly take longer than getting into it. Safe use of gags, however, requires that someone – normally an unbound topman – be able to react instantly if the bottom has a breathing problem. The same goes for a minimal-risk breath-control scene (I don’t think any breath-control scene can be risk-free). When you’re flying solo, it’s important not to add any unnecessary risks to those already inherent in the situation. If you use a gag, stick with a kind you can still breathe around if your nose clogs up, such as a bit gag or a rope gag between the teeth, and be sure you can remove it quickly and easily if necessary. Gags that completely fill and seal the mouth, or lock on, or are applied underneath other restraints (like a head harness or hood) are far too risky for a solo bondage scene.
• Don’t tie yourself up with rope. I know, I know – rope is cheap, it’s easy to use, it feels good, it has all kinds of sexy associations. Unfortunately, it’s just not safe enough for self-bondage. Rope ties can be slippery and unpredictable, and they make it much too easy to get yourself into a situation you can’t get out of. Locking steel cuffs, chains and padlocks, and leather straps or cuffs secured by buckles or padlocks are all much easier to control when you’re doing it yourself. If you earned a merit badge in knot-tying and feel you’re an expert rope wrangler, fine, but make sure you leave a good knife in reach!
• Cut yourself some slack. Despite the temptation to snug it all up just a little more, leave enough slack to insure you can escape when you’ve had enough. There won’t be anyone else to release you if you can’t (or at least not without a long wait, horrible anxiety, and a great deal of embarrassment at best). Self-bondage is risky enough without pushing your limits every time.
• Handcuffs are much easier to put on than to take off even when you have the key. Practice thoroughly with them alone before you combine handcuffs with any other restraint that may escalate the difficulty. If possible, practice getting into and out of handcuffs locked behind your back with a partner present until you’re sure you can do it easily on your own.
10,000 Combinations
I don’t believe there is any way to make what I’ve been calling “strict” self-bondage – the kind where you cannot escape until some release mechanism is triggered – absolutely safe. You can reduce the risks until you’re comfortable with them, but don’t fool yourself that you’ve eliminated risk entirely. As with solo mountain-climbing, skin-diving, or cave-crawling, even when you take every reasonable precaution, accidents can still happen, and you could die from one. On the other hand, you could be hit by a truck crossing the street with the light. I’m not suggesting that we can or should avoid all risks, only that we need to be realistic about them – and not let our itchy pricks lead us to take greater risks than we’d otherwise be comfortable with. And there’s no reason to be stupid about the risks we accept, either. Peter Boots, who’s been happily getting himself into and out of severe bondage for more than two decades, advises that when it comes to release mechanisms, it’s best “to rely on very basic things: Ice melts, gravity makes things drop, the sun rises in the morning. Some people use timers, motors, electronics, but as soon as the power goes or something malfunctions they’re stuck. So far I have not come across a mechanical or electronic fail-safe mechanism I would trust.” (Issue #25 of Bound&Gagged includes a scary story about just such a situation, “The Day the Fail-Safe Failed.” Of course, the writer of the story managed to get out anyway, but it was a very near escape, and it cured him, at least, of reliance on such mechanisms.)
For overnight scenes without a hood or blindfold, Peter uses a four-digit combination lock to attach his cuffed hands and ankles to a chain stretched across his bed (he likes to sleep in fetal position with his hands and feet close together); you could use a similar setup to chain yourself to the wall, the floor, or a post. “It’s very tedious to try to get out while it’s dark,” he notes, “as there are 10,000 different combinations to try, but as soon as it gets light I can open the lock instantly.” Peter strongly advises against using a dial-type combination lock, as if you’re feeling rushed or panicky, it’s too easy to make a mistake in the series of back-and-forth twists and turns needed to unlock it even when you can see what you’re doing.
The Two-String Theory
A combination lock you know the code for is hardly inescapable during the day, however, or if you’re restrained loosely enough that you can move around and turn on a light. For non bedtime scenes, or shorter scenes, which may involve a spreadeagle or other stretched-out position, Peter favors ice and gravity for time release, and he uses a setup that involves two separate strings or cords. At the end of one string is the critical key that will enable him to free himself; the other end is attached to a hook on the wall or ceiling in such a way that the key will hang straight down within easy reach once he’s in position on the bed.
Typically, the key unlocks either of the padlocks (they’re keyed identically) at the ends of a chain between one of his locking wrist cuffs and one of the screw eyes at the corners of his bed. In a spread eagle position the key is handy to his right hand if he’s on his back, to the left hand if he’s on his stomach. (Other arrangements are possible, such as locking both wrist cuffs to the center of a chain stretched between the screw eyes at the top corners of the bed, and similarly for the ankles, with the cuffs attached to a chain at the foot of the bed.) If Peter weren’t interested in a delayed-release bondage scene, he could leave it at that – when he was ready to release himself, he’d just grasp the dangling key and use it. The trick of “strict” self-bondage, however, is to make the key unavailable until after a certain amount of time has passed.
Therefore, Peter prepares a second string whose sole function is to pull the first string (the key string) out of reach. The second string has one end frozen inside an ice cube (he always keeps several strings frozen into cubes in his freezer!). He puts the ice cube under several other cubes in a coffee mug, ties the free end of the frozen string to the first string somewhere above the key, and places the mug far enough from the bed that the tension on the frozen string pulls the key-holding string away from its previous straight line down to his hand, thus holding the key out of reach. Until the ice melts enough for the frozen string to pull free of the mug, the key to his freedom might as well be in the next county, and Peter can enjoy the feeling of being inescapably bound. How long that lasts is determined by the temperature of the room and the size of the ice cubes.
Peter has experimented so that he knows just how long the key will stay out of reach at his bedroom’s normal room temperature. Of course, if it’s wintertime and the heat in the apartment goes off without warning, he may have a longer wait, but with ordinary-size ice cubes it’s unlikely to be an intolerable one. Peter’s experiments also covered some obvious variations, such as freezing the second string in a whole cupful of water instead of in one ice cube – the trouble is, the larger block of ice takes much longer to melt, and the timing can vary over a much wider range, so he doesn’t recommend it. I also asked him about freezing the key itself in an ice cube or cup of water and leaving that within reach, dispensing with the strings entirely, but he pointed out that in that case there are a number of ways you could accelerate the melting process (warming the ice with your hand or another part of your body, blowing or pissing on it). Forcing the ice to melt faster would get you out of bondage sooner, but that contradicts the whole idea of a preset time during which you cannot escape.
Peter’s use of two strings is very important in making his arrangements “fail-safe.” I’ve read many single-string self-bondage scenarios in which a key is suspended from a string frozen in ice so that it will drop into your hand when the ice melts – but what if it misses your hand and falls to the floor? Or bounces underneath the bed or behind a cabinet? It’s far safer to begin, as Peter does, with a tethered key hanging within reach, and then use ice to keep it pulled out of the way for a preset time. Thus, instead of depending on a time-release mechanism to reach the key, you’re depending on such a mechanism to withhold it from you; if the mechanism fails, you can escape.
Peter stresses that in order to minimize the risks of delayed-release self-bondage, good planning and lots of practice are essential – but practice each step by itself, before you combine them into an arrangement that’s inescapable. “Test and check everything several times before you get going,” he says. “And the most dangerous thing you can do is to change your usual setup on the spur of the moment to make it more severe because you get turned on by the idea. Most of the self-bondage accidents I’ve heard about occurred for that reason.” If you possibly can, it’s a good idea to notify a friend before you embark on a delayed-release solo bondage scene, so that he can let you out if something goes wrong and you don’t call him back by a pre-arranged time.
Above all, if things go wrong, try not to panic. “Often there is an alternative way out, however difficult,” Peter notes. “But if the worst should happen, you just have to make noise until the neighbors call the police.” That’s another reason not to use a severe gag on yourself during any strict self-bondage session, and it also suggests that it’s safer not to practice self-restraint in isolated locations far from any possible aid. If that’s where you happen to live, of course, you have to make the best of it, but it’s not a good idea to place yourself beyond all possible rescue if you don’t have to.
D.I.Y. or Die
Some guys, like Peter, are aficionados of self-bondage because they really enjoy the challenges and the exotic psychological twist of playing both top and bottom at the same time. Others, like me, do it primarily out of frustration, when we really need to be bound up but can’t find or seduce a capable and trustworthy top into doing the honors. (For some reason, the supply of good tops is woefully short of the demand – maybe because bottoms really do have more fun?) Still others may explore self-bondage for a combination of reasons.
Whatever your motivation, don’t rush into a solo session! I’ve taken stupid risks myself when need drove me, but as I’ve gotten older, wiser, and more experienced, I find it easier to take a deep breath and think before snapping the cuffs closed on my wrists or the padlock shut on the zipper of my hood. I ask myself several questions, and unless I have a good answer to every one of them, I either abort the session or go back to square one and plan it all over again: Exactly how will I get out? Will I still be able to get out after a few hours of lying, sitting, or standing in these restraints? What will I do if my planned escape doesn’t work? What is the worst that can happen if I can’t release myself?
It’s said that a hard cock has no conscience – or common sense – but no one is forcing us to reduce ourselves to our hard cocks. If you want to enjoy self-bondage not only once but again and again, stay sober and alert, plan carefully, don’t push your limits too hard, and practice, practice, practice!
Special thanks to Peter Boots for his help with these columns on self-bondage, and also to Bandana Boy and others on the Net whose posts I learned from.
by david stein with Richard Sommers, M.D. Copyright ©1995 by david stein (gorgik@aol.com); all rights reserved, including the right to reprint in whole or in part in any medium whatsoever. Printouts for the viewer’s personal enjoyment are encouraged, but please contact the author if any other use is desired. This article was originally published in Issue #47 of Bound & Gagged magazine.
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Whipping is a technique for binding the ends of rope to keep the separate fibers from unraveling. Not only is whipping to maintain the appearance of the rope ends, but clean, neat whippings make the rope much easier to work with.
To whip your rope, you will need a very strong, thin string or twine. Make a ‘U’ near the end of the rope, and lay it against the rope to be whipped.
Using the longer end of the whipping, wrap the rope tightly, keeping the individual strands of the twine/ rope close together, make sure you can see none of the underlying rope between them.
Continue to wrap until you have done approximately 15-25 mm (1/2” to 1” ) of whipping, depending on the size of the rope. The loop formed by the ‘U’ in the whipping should still be visible, and the working end of the whipping should be on the same side.
Pass the working end of the whipping through the loop, and pull on the other end of the whipping. The loop should disappear under the wrapping. When you believe it is approximately in the middle of the wrapping, trim the ends of the whipping flush.
It is easiest to whip rope ends before cutting your rope. If you are going to cut your rope in lengths, whip on each side of the intended cuts, then cut you rope between the whippings.
A handy trick I use is to whip the ends different colors for different lengths. example blue=6ft yellow=4ft that way I always what I’m grabbing.
Article by MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com Images: MissBonnie
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Some times with Femdom play, ropes can become sweaty and grimmy, grease builds up on them making them a challenge to work with.. your ropes can washed, and laundered with careful attention. if your in doubt cut and remove a small section of rope and pretest in you washing machine. (remember if you have whipped the ends of rope, re whip them.
Simply put your rope in some sort of washable bag to keep it from excessive knotting – we use a mesh laundry bag or just a plain old pillow case tied shut.
Place you ‘bag-of-rope’ into the washing machine, add you favorite laundry detergent and go ahead and wash on the normal cycle using warm water.
If you’d like you can add fabric softener during the rinse cycle, as you would with any other load of laundry – I personally prefer to use a fabric softener drier sheet as opposed to liquid fabric softener.
If you need to sanitize your rope, you can add a half a cup of bleach to the water – be sure to add it in such a way as to not splatter your colored rope (my machine has a separate reservoir for the bleach which mixes it with the wash water, you can also dilute the bleach in a bowl before you add it to the wash water, or pour it in carefully after the wash water has begun to agitate).
After washing, go ahead and put the rope into the drier (leave it in the bag you washed it in). I always use a fabric softener drier sheet, or two. If you did not put fabric softener in while washing make sure you definitely use a drier sheet now.
Set the drier to the ‘air fluff – no heat’ setting and let you rope tumble away until dry.
Do NOT use heat when drying your rope. Do not tumble dry Nylon rope leave to air dry.
Article by MissBonnie © CollarNcuffs.com
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Rope is the most versatile, most easily obtainable and cheapest toy and can be used by anyone once a few simple knots are mastered. Most hardware stores carry rope but the best selection can usually be found in specialist yacht chandlers.
Types of Rope used in Femdom play
Rope is usually made by twisting individual fibers into yarns. Several yarns (usually three) are then twisted together in the opposite direction to form strands. The strands are then twisted now back in the same direction as the original fibers to form the rope. It can be made from a number of materials but the most usual ones today are nylon and natural hemp.
Nylon
Nylon is a great general-purpose rope: it’s strong, it wears well, it’s relatively comfortable, and it looks good, too. Good, basic nylon 3-ply is highly recommended for beginners. The ends of cut nylon rope can be prevented from unravelling by heat sealing, which can sometimes by carried out by your supplier. Otherwise it is a relatively simple operation carried out by momentarily pressing on the newly cut ends of the rope with a hot knife to melt the nylon.
Traditional hemp
Traditional hemp rope is attractive to some people for its rugged look and its scratchy, uncomfortable feel. But compared to synthetic fibres it is more difficult to work, weaker, susceptible to rot and must be stored away from moisture and sunlight. It also is sensitive to abrasion, so your bottom might find ways to fray it by rubbing it along a sharp or jagged edge. The ends of hemp rope must be whipped to keep it from unravelling. For general bondage applications, large diameter rope is preferred because it is less likely to cause circulation problems: 8-10mm (3/8“-5/8”) diameter is ideal; look for softer nylon rope too if you want to avoid chafing . If you use smaller rope, you will need to leave more slack and keep an especially close eye on all extremities.
A variety of lengths is useful, and you will certainly need some shorter lengths of 1-2m (3′-6′).
Article by MissBonnie © Collarncuffs.com Imgs: MissBonnie & MissBitch
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I like to do bondage while I play Femdom, but how do I store my rope
Store rope neatly coiled, since kinks and twists can cause undue wear, and in a cool, dry place, away from direct sunlight, such as an indoor cupboard or closet. Never store it outside, or even in a garage. Fluctuations in temperature and humidity will weaken it and may cause rot. Even so-called ‘water resistant’ marine grade rope will eventually wear and break under moist conditions; it will just take longer to deteriorate.
Properly stored rope will last a long time and serve you well.
Poor care will cause rope to weaken and eventually to break. This is particularly important to remember if safety could be compromised by rope failure, as in techniques like suspension. It is difficult to tell how much damage time, moisture, and the sun have caused to a rope: it could look completely sound, but still let you down. The only way to maintain safety is to take proper care in looking after it. Rope stored neatly will also be much more convenient to use during a scene. Don’t embarrass yourself by keeping an eager partner waiting while you wrestle with a spaghetti of ropes! Some well-organized bondage enthusiasts find it useful to keep coils of rope sorted or even color-coded by length and type. The even more organized insist on ‘chaining’ rope.
Chain-stitching Rope for Storage
Coiling rope for storage usually leaves something to be desired. Even coiled rope tends to tangle in your toy bag, and if you grab the wrong end when you’re uncoiling it, it can quickly get hopelessly tangled up. It is very frustrating if you are halfway through tying someone up and you have to stand there for ten minutes untangling your rope before you can continue. The solution is to chain-stitch your ropes for storage. This is how climbers store their ropes. It is basically the same stitch used to fasten the tops of potato bags and feed bags. To chain-stitch a rope, put the two ends of the rope together and lay them across your right palm, pointing in the direction of your thumb.
Wrap the long ends of the rope around the back of your hand, so they end up where they started.
With two fingers of your other hand, reach up (from the finger side) under the ropes, grab the long ends, and pull it out to form a loop.
Remove the loop from your hand, and pull the ends of the ropes moderately tight.
Reach through the loop from the back and grab the long ends of the rope.
Pull them through, forming a new loop
Reach through the new loop from the back and pull another loop through. Continue doing this till you are at the end of your rope.
Take the end of the rope, tuck it through the last loop, and pull it tight.
The final result looks like this:
To use the rope, pull the end back out of the last loop. Pull on the end, and the loops will all fall apart, and you will again have a straight piece of rope.
article by MissBonnie © collarncuffs.com
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